Earl Wilson once said that “one way to get high blood pressure is to go mountain climbing over molehills”. If the following story were Jeopardy categories it would go something like this…
“Let’s go with ridiculous church and state objections for $50, Alex.”
And then you would follow up with this category.
“I’ll take spectacular over reactions for $100, Alex.”
Ding – ding – ding. It’s the DAILY DOUBLE!
In preparation for a guest appearance at the Peach Bowl in Atlanta this year, a marching band at C.D. Hylton High School in Prince William County decided to prepare a Georgia themed show. One of the fun songs they chose was ‘The Devil Went Down to Georgia,’ by the Charlie Daniels Band. Alert readers are probably already rolling their eyes in anticipation of where this is going.
You got it. A local newspaper published a letter by a Woodbridge resident who wondered how a song about the devil could be played at school events because of the separation of church and state. You probably know the song. Satan challenges a young man named Johnny to a high stakes duel. If he loses the devil gets his soul and if Johnny wins he gets a fiddle made of gold. Robert McLean argued that the song’s depiction might constitute an endorsement of Christianity. May we review the lyrics?
The devil opened up his case and he said, ‘I’ll start this show.’ And fire flew from his fingertips as he rosined up his bow. And he pulled the bow across the strings and it made an evil hiss. Then a band of demons joined in and it sounded somethin’ like this:
When the devil finished, Johnny said, ‘Well, you’re pretty good, old son, but sit down in that chair right there and let me show you how it’s done.’
Fire on the mountain. Run, boys, run. The devil’s in the House of the Rising Sun. Chicken in the bread pan pickin’ out dough. Granny, does your dog bite? No, child, no.
The devil bowed his head because he knew that he’d been beat. And he laid that golden fiddle on the ground at Johnny’s feet. Johnny said, ‘Devil, just come on back if you ever want to try again. ‘Cause I told you once, you son of a gun, I’m the best that’s ever been.’
Now I see the clear connection to Christianity. Boy am I embarrassed! All of these years we could have been playing ‘The Devil Went Down to Georgia’ instead of ‘Just as I Am’ at the end of sermons. Picture the choir singing in beautiful harmony…
Chicken in the bread pan pickin’ out dough. Granny, does your dog bite? No, child, no.
Dozens of sinners stream to the altar because they are moved by the theological implications of the lyric. Perhaps the metaphor of the chicken in the bread pan relates to how man does not live by bread alone. But more likely it is a meaningless lyric about a chicken in the bread pan.
Fearing bad public reaction the school’s band director, Dennis Brown, pulled the song from the playlist because of this one letter to the local paper.
‘I was just being protective of my students. I didn’t want any negative publicity for C.D. Hylton High School,’ Brown said. The band has been practicing the song for months and one student even purchased an electric violin for the routine. According to Brown the band played the song during the pre-game show of the state football championship in 2003 and no one complained. Perhaps only people with normal thought processes were in attendance at that game but that is just one man’s theory.
And the piece de resistance? The children of the man who started the furor are home schooled. In his words his letter was meant to start a “philosophical debate”, not to wreck any student’s marching band experience. He further defends his position by added that he loves the song. ‘It was one of the first 45s I had as a kid,’ he said.” I’m surprised he is not a missionary after hearing that clear endorsement of Christianity over and over and over.
My kingdom for some common sense. But I am afraid this will only get worse. I guess the question is how do we respond to such ridiculous logic? Certainly we should stand up for our rights as citizens of this country. But we must be prepared to communicate the hope we have with clarity, grace, and caring. I am so tired of strident Christians who don’t have well thought out or graceful reasoning. Paul faced a very hostile culture in Athens. The city was full of idols and that distressed him. But notice his response was not to lash out at them for their pagan worship of idols.
And every day he went out on the streets and talked with anyone who happened along. He got to know some of the Epicurean and Stoic intellectuals pretty well through these conversations. Some of them dismissed him with sarcasm: “What an airhead!” But others, listening to him go on about Jesus and the resurrection, were intrigued: “That’s a new slant on the gods. Tell us more.” These people got together and asked him to make a public presentation over at the Areopagus, where things were a little quieter. They said, “This is a new one on us. We’ve never heard anything quite like it. Where did you come up with this anyway? Explain it so we can understand.” Downtown Athens was a great place for gossip. There were always people hanging around, natives and tourists alike, waiting for the latest tidbit on most anything.
So Paul took his stand in the open space at the Areopagus and laid it out for them. “It is plain to see that you Athenians take your religion seriously. When I arrived here the other day, I was fascinated with all the shrines I came across. And then I found one inscribed, TO THE GOD NOBODY KNOWS. I’m here to introduce you to this God so you can worship intelligently, know who you’re dealing with. Acts 17 The Message
And the results of Paul’s level headed and patient approach?
Some laughed at him and walked off making jokes; others said, “Let’s do this again. We want to hear more.” But that was it for the day, and Paul left. There were still others, it turned out, who were convinced then and there, and stuck with Paul.
There it is folks. Some will laugh at me and walk away making jokes. Some will want to hear more. Some will accept the message of the gospel. Pray for the grace to communicate the hope of Jesus patiently.
And while you are at it…could you pray for an outpouring of common sense on this land?
Bridgette
I saw that one too. It was definately the band director who over reacted. One letter just asking, probing. I get the feeling that the letter might have been a bit tongue in cheek"
That said. At this point with the multiculturism in America and the protection of minority rights we have; I’m not on the side for bringing teacher led prayer back in school. (However, as an education major I believe teachers should be allowed to talk about their faith and not have a gag order) The following joke is available all over the web and is over the top (because if it really happened PETA would go ballistic) but it is food for thought:
Let’s quiet down, children. Now that we’ve finally gotten rid of that terrible Supreme Court decision, I can again lead you in prayer.
"So children, let’s get ready for our morning prayer. Did everyone remember to bring their chicken?
"Mary, where is your chicken? That’s all right, Mary. Don’t cry. As I told you yesterday, if you can’t afford a chicken, the school is required to provide one. I’ve got plenty of extra chickens up here by the prayer mats, meditation crystals and peyote buds. Did anyone else forget to bring their chicken?
"As you know from your schedule, children, today I will lead you in a Santeria prayer. It’s a recognized, ancient religion. Now I know some of you have complained that many of these prayers don’t represent your beliefs. But remember, they do represent the sincere beliefs of many Americans. I promise you that eventually we will lead the class in a prayer representing your own religion.
"But you’ll have to be patient. There are hundreds of Christian denominations with all sorts of beliefs in the United States. And there are hundreds more non-Christian religions recognized in America. If your religion isn’t on our list, just let us know and we’ll make sure it’s added. We don’t want to leave anyone out. That’s not the American way.
"Be thankful.
"Everyone knows that you have never been prevented from praying in school, but for years you were denied having teachers and principals lead you in prayer. You should be thankful.
"Johnnie, I don’t know what you’re doing to that chicken, but stop it. You need to straighten up and be serious. This is important. I’ll tell you why, because lots and lots of people said the loss of state-sponsored prayers led to drug use, crime, violence, teenage pregnancy, dropouts, family disintegration, child-abuse, pornography, racism, poor academic achievement, overcrowded prisons and lots of other bad things.
"Before we start, remember that tomorrow we will have a traditional Wicca prayer and we’ll try to cast a spell on the press. Remember to bring a lock of your mother’s hair.
"Johnnie, keep that chicken quiet. What is it, Lucy? If you want me to tell you when I will lead you in a prayer of your religion, you’ll have to tell me what it is. You can’t look at someone and tell their personal beliefs. Unitarian?
"What’s coming up . . .
"Let’s see, coming up we have Christian Science, Amish, Tibetan Buddhism, Seventh-Day Adventist, Comanche, Zoroastrianism, Druze, Calvinist Baptist, Unification, Hasidism and Deliverance Pentacostal. That one should be interesting. I think that’s when you bring a rattlesnake and a cup of poison.
"I don’t see it coming up right away, Lucy. Let’s see, we have the Reformed Druids of North America, American Vegan, Shanti Yoga, Evangelical Presbyterian, Baha’i World Faith, Gnostic Orthodox, House of Yahweh, Agasha Temple of Wisdom, Church of Metaphysical Christianity, Jain Meditation, Catholic Charismatic, People of Destiny, Branch Davidian, Coptic Fellowship, Church of Satan….
"I don’t know, Lucy. It doesn’t look like Unitarian is coming up any time soon. But if we don’t lead you in a prayer of your own church or religion this year, the government requires that we lead you in a prayer of your religion at least once before you graduate. This way, it’s fair for everyone.
"OK, kids, on the count of three, yank the heads off your chickens and I’ll start today’s prayer…."