Month: November 2005

This little planet can be depressing at times. I picked up a magazine this week and came across three quotes that made me realize how desperate we are for a little hope.

The first quote was an odd mix of funny and sad. Country singer Kenny Chesney had a very short lived and well publicized marriage to actress Renee Zellweger. His description of the pain he was feeling was like a parody of a bad country song. You know what I am talking about. Songs like My Girl Ran Off With My Best Friend and I Sure Do Miss Him. Chesney compared the pain of losing that relationship to “having someone come in and take the big-screen TV off the wall during the big game, and there’s nothing you can do about it.”

Uhhhhh. Okay.

Perhaps we have found a key to the breakdown of this marriage. I don’t want to make light of a broken covenant but what a shallow analogy to describe the break. I would suggest that the unravelling of a marriage should be far more painful than losing electronics…even during the big game.

The next quote came from writer Albert Camus. “It is a kind of spiritual snobbery that makes people think they can be happy without money.” To slightly modify an old Paul McCartney and Wings lyric…”I’m so sorry, Uncle Albert…but you haven’t learned a bloody thing at all.”

I have been on both sides of the money thing. And I can tell you without reservation and snobbery free that money is unrelated to happiness. Happiness is seeing my wife at the end of a long day. Enjoying dinner with my wonderful sons (and daughter in laws). Laughing with friends. Being greeted by a Labrador retriever that thinks I am the greatest human being.

Ever.

Happiness is watching a baby toddle. A child smile. An elderly couple look at one another with that look that only decades can develop. Happiness is seeing the sun rise and hearing the birds welcome that sight. Happiness is connecting with the one who made me. That is what I was created for and my happiness is found in the simplest things of life. There is joy all around us. I choose to look for those things. Yet life happens and joy is a bit harder to choose.

In his letter to the church at Corinth Paul made the amazing statement that “I am overwhelmed with joy despite all our troubles.” 2 Cor 7:4 (MSG)

Where does that attitude come from? I can guarantee it doesn’t come from money. Money cannot buy happiness. Because we can “rent” what appears to be happiness for a season our culture confuses money with real happiness.

The third quote comes from author Thomas Wolfe who has reached the same conclusion as King Solomon in Ecclesiastes. Wolfe wrote that “Man was born to live, to suffer, and to die, and what befalls him is a tragic lot. There is no denying this in the final end. But we must deny it along the way.”

Mr. Wolfe is a brilliant writer and man. But he stopped a bit short of truth in my opinion. Man is born to live. A fallen world will produce suffering for all of us along the way. Dying is a pretty safe assumption. And tragedy does befall many if not most of us. I don’t deny a thing that Wolfe said except that we must deny those things. I choose to embrace life. I accept suffering because I am in relationship with a God who understands suffering and offers comfort that is inexplicable. I have looked tragedy in the face and found peace. Jesus had a thought or two on joy and it’s source.

“I’ve told you these things for a purpose: that my joy might be your joy, and your joy wholly mature.  This is my command: Love one another the way I loved you.   This is the very best way to love. John 15 (MSG)

I am no where close to saying that my joy is wholly mature. But I have hope as I write this. Hope that transcends big screens, money, and the difficulties of life. I have hope because I have found the source of joy. Paul wrote a joyful letter to the church at Philippi.

Don’t fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns.   Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life  Phil 4 (MSG)

It really is wonderful. If your hope is a quart low there is no shortage. But you have to want to be refilled.

 

This may be a disappointment to you if you came here expecting George Carlin’s seven words you can’t say on television. But increasingly we have become a society that uses polarizing words instead of words that allow and engage conversation. So class…if you will take out your pencils and pads…today’s word is proselytise.

I was surprised to see that proselytise is used as a synonym for brainwashing at an online thesaurus site. The actual definition listed by dictionary.com is:

   1.  To induce someone to convert to one’s own religious faith.
   2.  To convert (a person) from one belief, doctrine, cause, or faith to another.

I had never paid a lot of attention to the use of the word.  I knew it was generally a perjorative when used to refer to Christians. But as I read the definitions it became clear to me that I need to gently challenge this word. As an evangelical Christian (perhaps  evangelical will be a future “bad word” topic) I do not feel it is my mission to “convert” someone to my religious faith. I cannot “convert” anyone to Christian faith. That is God’s job. In baseball parlance I am merely a set-up man at best…the Holy Spirit of God is the closer. I do have a job. Actually it is a command that Jesus gave in Matthew.

Jesus said, “”Love the Lord your God with all your passion and prayer and intelligence.’ This is the most important, the first on any list. But there is a second to set alongside it: “Love others as well as you love yourself.’  Matthew 22   The Message

Frankly we have too often lost track of these simple yet powerful commands. When we love others sacrificially our message becomes inviting…not proselytizing. If you have ever been around a Christian who is truly living these words then you know how attractive that lifestyle can be. Saint Francis of Assisi wonderfully observed that we should “preach the gospel at all times…if necessary, use words.”  Do you see the power of letting the gospel message flow out of our actions?

But to anyone reading this who is of a different faith or no faith at all I must confess my dilemna to you. If I truly believe this to be the truth and if my faith in Christ has genuinely changed my life then how can I not tell you? Why should you be offended if I care enough to reach out gently and in love.

I remember being intimately involved with some friends over a period of years in our kid’s sports activities. They were from a demonination that believed only they were going to heaven. They knew we did not belong to that denomination. Yet they never once said a word that they believed we were off track and even doomed. Would I have changed my views? No. But it would have showed that they cared enough to let me know what they held dear and their concern for me. I was actually a little hurt that they didn’t seem to care that I would not join them in heaven.

Michael Kinsley wrote a similar sentiment in Time magazine (February 19, 2001) about the anger that some folks feel toward Christians who seem compelled to share their faith. 

 “You may not agree that your soul needs saving, but why is he wrong to try as long as he isn’t prying away your soul against your will? As an ethnically Jewish nonbeliever, I find this fuss over conversion utterly baffling…But an insult? In a way, it is insulting to Jews that Fundamentalist Christians don’t try harder to convert us. Oh sure, they’re friendly enough now. But wait until Judgment Day. Then it will be, `Sorry, we seem to have lost your reservation.’ And from this perspective, the Jewish policy of actively discouraging converts to Judaism starts to seem like `theological arrogance’ indeed. At the same time, when you object to noncoercive conversion, it starts to look like the opposite of arrogance: theological insecurity. What are you afraid of? The decision will be made by you or by God, and in either case, there is no ground for complaint.”

I suspect that technique is too often the rub. I was a victim of over the top zealous religious people as a teenager. I am still a little amazed that I eventually came to faith.

If I care about  you I will naturally want to share the most important thing in my life. But I think you have some rights as the hearer of my message. I wrote the following in When Bad Christians Happen to Good Christians.

The Unbelievers Bill of Rights…

• I have the right to never have faith forced on me.
• I have the right to never be treated in a condescending manner.
• I have the right to always hear the truth.
• I have the right for you to patiently hear my concerns and doubts.
• I have the right to seek answers to those questions and doubts that you can’t answer.
• I have the right to be steered to resources for my own study and investigation.
• I have the right to be loved no matter how I respond to the gospel message.

I hope that I honor you by following the list above. I hope you will understand that my wanting to let you know about the most important thing in my life honors you as well.

First I must apologize to the three or four readers who eagerly show up each weekday to read these ramblings. I was stuck on the road with a defective power pack and no other computer access. So I have to admit that I “blogged” down for a couple of days. Sorry. I am now powered up and ready to ramble.

Last night I was returning from a corporate meeting being held at a casino in Uncasville, Connecticut. Your reaction was likely the same as mine. Unca – where? Turns out it is about an hour from Hartford. But that is a future blog.

My panic happened during a routine and boring flight from Hartford to home in Dallas. I was bored with the movie and tired of reading. As I absently mindedly fiddled with my wedding band it somehow flipped up and disappeared around my seat. I immediately thought of my bride and how I would explain this one. I can always play the idiot card and that is hard to trump with me. But I knew this carried a little emotional impact beyond losing some jewelry.

I pictured that little band of gold laying somewhere on the peanut littered floor. What were the ramifications of losing it? It can be replaced I reasoned. She will understand. It is just a ring. My logic was solid and then I realized that I didn’t buy it either.

I had upgraded to first class and my seat was in the back row of the cabin so finding the ring would not be so easy. Because the passenger next to me was watching the movie I decided to wait until the movie was over to disturb him to look for the ring.  That gave me time to panic and to think.

The ring was not expensive. It was not even my first wedding band (my first one came with a gumball so I had upgraded once). But that missing ring had meaning beyond it’s pawn shop value. I had mentioned this ring in my book When Bad Christians Happen to Good People. The ring had become my symbol for what it is important in my life. There are four very small diamonds that represent the four children that have blessed our lives. Three wonderful sons are a constant source of pride and love. The fourth diamond represents our daughter Katie who died after fourteen unexpected months with us. Unexpected because Katie was only supposed to live hours or maybe days. The entertwined gold strands symbolized how my bride and I had somehow merged two very different lives into one indivisible marriage. When things get tough I have trained myself to look at that ring and it reminds me about what matters.

I thought of the nearly thirty year journey that Joni and I have traveled. I am fortunate in one thing. I married my trophy wife first and saved the hassle. But when our wedding pictures are dragged out I have to laugh. There I am with bad 70’s hair and my baby blue Dumb and Dumber tuxedo. And there is Joni looking gorgeous with her beautiful blue eyes and infectious smile. The reaction is the same for nearly every person who views those photos. A thought bubble rises over their heads with the question…”What was she thinking?”.  I have no idea. I am sure she has asked the same thing. But she has hung in with me and trusted God. She has never tried to change who I am but she has always challenged me to develop my unique design in partnership with the God who loves me. She has prayed for me and our boys more than I can even comprehend. When our marriage monitor flat lined a few years ago she did not give up. That ring symbolized the trials and the triumphs. I breathed a prayer that I would find the ring.

The flight attendant loaned me a flashlight and I crawled as best I could under the seats looking for my ring. With my derriere sticking unceremoniously into the aisle I looked in every nook and cranny. Nothing. Finally I flashed the light back into the seat bracket corner and there it was. I was relieved to find the ring and, frankly, to get my posterior out of the aisle. Slipping the ring back on I realized the value of symbols. Losing that ring would not have changed my love for my wife or our relationship. But that symbol is a reminder of love and the mystery of two lives becoming one.

      And this is why a man leaves father and mother and cherishes his wife. No longer two, they become “one flesh.” This is a huge mystery, and I don’t pretend to understand it all. What is clearest to me is the way Christ treats the church. And this provides a good picture of how each husband is to treat his wife….   The Message Ephesians 5

It is a mystery. I am grateful for the journey. I am grateful for the potholes and the detours and the times of smooth traveling. I am grateful I chose not to exit or turn around when the journey got tough.

There is another symbol that I cherish. It is called the cross. And I would suggest that what happened there is the reason that Joni and I are still together in this mysterious and wonderful journey.

 

 

This week I have felt lousy.  I picked up one of the early bugs to start off the flu and cold season. Before we even got to the regular flu/cold season I was downed by a lousy preseason bug.  Do those even count in the standings? So I did the anti-male thing and went to the doctor.

“You are the twentieth person I have treated for this since yesterday,” she reported.

“Do I get a group rate?” I asked hopefully.

“No!” She said without even carefully considering the merits of my request.

So after investing a couple of hundred dollars in the medical profession and drug manufacturers I am sitting at home waiting for this to run it’s natural course. I thought of how really crappy I have felt this week. And then I realized how much I take for granted the fifty weeks or so out of every year when I feel good or even great. Sure I have the usual little aches and pains that a 50 plus body will accumulate. But for five decades I have been blessed with the ability to run slowly, jump barely, dance awkwardly, and laugh often. I am so blessed.

I thought about people who feel far worse than I have felt this week every single day of their lives. Yet they get up and go cheerfully about their business every day. I thought of those who deal heroically with chronic pain and soldier on without complaint. I thought about those who begin to feel badly and never get better. I expect that I will recover soon. Some never will.

I admire the people who find joy in their lives even when they don’t feel like it. King Solomon said the following in the Book of Proverbs.

       A cheerful look brings joy to the heart,
       and good news gives health to the bones.  NIV Prov 15

The Message has an interesting take on this proverb.

       A twinkle in the eye means joy in the heart, and good news makes you feel fit as a fiddle.

Think about the people who choose joy when circumstances don’t warrant that action. Don’t you find that the kind of personality that responds like that often features a twinkle in the eye? They are the kind of people that you visit to minister to and then end up receiving more than you gave.

Paul said in his letter to the church at Phillipi that he had learned to be content in his circumstance. It didn’t come naturally for him either.

     I’ve learned by now to be quite content whatever my circumstances. I’m just as happy with little as with much, with much as with little. I’ve found the recipe for being happy whether full or hungry, hands full or hands empty. Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am.   Philippians 4  The Message

I am grateful for the illness because I appreciate health. I am grateful for the clouds because the sunshine then feels so wonderful. I am grateful for a God that never changes through good times or bad.   

 

 

Occasionally  I take another step in my inevitable march toward geezerhood. You know that stage of life where you get grumpy and tell people how it used to be back in the good old days. One of the things that advances me more quickly to that stage is the attempt to make life risk free.

A group called the Michigan Law Suit Abuse Watch has an annual contest to find the stupidest product warning labels. The Wacky Warning Label Contest is in it’s eighth year and they have uncovered some beauties. They have an agenda of course. They want to point out how ridiculous and numerous lawsuits have forced product manufacturers to post warnings that are really just common sense. They don’t feel a manufacturer should have to be legally responsible for people lacking common sense.

I agree.

But that hasn’t stopped the avalanche of unbelievable warning labels. Here are some winners from other years and then we reveal the current year’s crop. Remember, these warnings actually appeared on a product. The italicised comments are mine. 

• A label on a baby stroller warns: Remove child before folding.      This had to be a guy…now a single guy.
• A household iron warns users: “Never iron clothes while they are being worn”  Major League pitcher John Smoltz allegedly burned his chest when he tried to touch up a shirt…while still in it!  Again…a guy.
• A warning on an electric drill made for carpenters cautions: “This product not intended for use as a dental drill.” Let’s just pray this is just an imaginative lawyer. If you know differently please don’t tell me.
• The label on a bottle of drain cleaner warns: “If you do not understand, or cannot read, all directions, cautions and warnings, do not use this product.” If you cannot read then how in the…sigh…never mind.
• A warning on a pair of shin guards manufactured for bicyclists says: “Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover.” The invisible force field feature was just not dependable.
• A can of self-defense pepper spray warns users: “May irritate eyes”      Isn’t that the purpose of the product?
• A popular manufactured fireplace log warns: “Caution – Risk of Fire”    Please see above.

Now if we could have drum-roll (warning: drumsticks are for use with percussion devices and should not be used to remove ear wax)….This year’s winners are…

Third place was the following warning on a digital thermometer that can be used to take a person’s temperature several different ways: “Once used rectally, the thermometer should not be used orally.”

The $250 second place award went to Matt Johnson of Naperville, Illinois for a label on a popular scooter for children that warns: “This product moves when used.”   

And our Wackiest Warning Label for this year was found on a flushable toilet brush that warns users, “Do not use for personal hygiene”.

Ewwww.

So as I go into my grumpy geezer mode I will point out that in my day if I folded the baby in the stroller I was just a moron and not a victim of bad instructions. If I sprayed a product designed specifically to irritate eyes into my eyes I would not be surprised to experience that discomfort. In my day we would have assumed a fireplace log had a risk of fire!

You can not post enough labels to remove the risk of life. I think one of the dangerous and maybe even deceitful things that Christians communicate is that coming to faith in Jesus will make your life trouble free. Perhaps we should have a label with every presentation of the gospel.

       Caution – Jesus reports that “in this world you will have trouble”.  (Read the small print in Mark and John)

Coming to faith does not remove the trouble from our lives. Jesus is not a money back guarantee for perfect health, unlimited prosperity, and non-stop giddiness. Trouble is a part of life. Problems refine or ruin us. That is where Jesus comes in.

         I’ve told you all this so that trusting me, you will be unshakable and assured, deeply at peace. In this godless world you will continue  to experience difficulties. But take heart! I’ve conquered the world.  The Message  John 16

That is what I have discovered in my journey with Jesus. When life delivers the inevitable I can be assured, deeply at peace, and even unshakable. NBA star Alonzo Manning faced a career ending illness but his response was interesting. “Adversity introduces a man to himself.” I would suggest that adversity introduces a person to their faith. Does it stand up to the hard times? Real faith does. Jesus came to give us real life and to help us get through the risks that living life brings. Consider yourself warned.

 

 

There was a little controversy recently in the Dallas area. I live in a suburb of Big D so the story was a daily news item. Some of the seniors at an affluent high school in Dallas had a  couple of rather unfortunate traditions.  On senior Thug Day, students wore Afro wigs, fake gold teeth and baggy jeans. On Fiesta Day, which was to honor Hispanic heritage, one student brought a leaf blower to school.  A few students at the school dressed as gang members, rap stars, maids and yard workers  which offended many in our community. It was easy to throw these students of privilege under the stretch Hummer limo and many did. Words like insensitive and racist were thrown around.

But I think Dallas Morning News columnist Jacquielynn Floyd got it exactly right. “It was less about racism than it was about rudeness.It was deliberately ill-bred behavior, the empty-headed mockery of people who got dealt a lower hand in life’s arbitrary card game.” Haven’t we all done that? I have. Have you ever told or circulated a joke about a minority or redneck or ethnic group or a certain Texas university? I have.

My family was from Kentucky. My dad came from the impoverished Appalachian area that PBS used to visit to produce documentaries about dirt poor Americans. But my Dad left Kentucky and I grew up in Southern Ohio. Trust me when I say that Southern Ohio was not a cosmopolitan mecca of sophistication. Yet we somehow felt we could make fun of Kentuckians and West Virginians. Other states made fun of Ohioans. It is human nature to need to feel better than someone else.

Jacquielynn Floyd rightly notes that being born into wealth doesn’t make you “better or worse people than the rest of us – it’s just the luck of the draw.” This view of less privileged people is disappointing in society and even damaging. But in a church that wants to be authentic it is deadly. In the book of James we find these words in the New Testament.

      My dear friends, don’t let public opinion influence how you live out our glorious, Christ-originated faith. If a man enters your church wearing an expensive suit, and a street person wearing rags comes in right after him, and you say to the man in the suit, “Sit here, sir; this is the best seat in the house!” and either ignore the street person or say, “Better sit here in the back row,” haven’t you segregated God’s children and proved that you are judges who can’t be trusted? Listen, dear friends. Isn’t it clear by now that God operates quite differently? He chose the world’s down-and-out as the kingdom’s first citizens, with full rights and privileges. This kingdom is promised to anyone who loves God.          James 2  The Message

I came across this story in Men of Integrity magazine. It was reported by a gentleman named Lew Gervais. I think James would have applauded wildly had he been there.

Bill was wild haired; his wardrobe for college was jeans and a T-shirt with holes in it. He had just recently become a believer while attending a campus Bible study. Across from campus was a well-dressed, very conservative church. One Sunday Bill decided to go there. He walked in late and shoeless. The sanctuary was packed so Bill headed down the aisle looking for a seat. Having nearly reached the pulpit, he realized there were no empty seats, so he squatted down on the carpet. The congregation was feeling uncomfortable. Then from the back of the church, a gray-haired elder outfitted in a three piece suit slowly started walking with help from his cane toward Bill. The worshippers didn’t know what to expect from a man in his eighties as he confronted some college kid on the floor. With all eyes focused on the developing drama, the minister waited to begin his sermon until the elder did what he had to do.

 

The elderly man dropped his cane on the floor and with great difficulty lowered himself to sit next to Bill.

 

“What I’m about to preach,” the minister begins, “you’ll never remember. What you’ve just seen, you’ll never forget.”

 

So I am not going to worry about a small number of immature high schoolers. I have a much bigger problem and I saw his image in the mirror as I shaved today. Every person I encounter is created in the image of God and Jesus deemed them worthy to die for on the cross. God help me to see them that way.

 

I hope you read my blog about going to Homecoming last weekend at Baylor University. It was a wonderful weekend spent with family and friends. But I want these ramblings to be authentic and real. I have an embarrassing admission to make. I drove and parked carefully in Waco last weekend because I feared I was a wanted man. Let me explain.

October 22nd dawned sunny and pleasant in scenic Garland, Texas. I blissfully strode to the mailbox to retrieve my daily dose of catalogues, junk mail, and bills. I sorted through the stack.

“No annual fee for 12 months” – Correct. I am tearing it up.

“A Special Invitation from Miracle Ear” – I don’t like what I can hear. No thanks.

“A Charming Way to Show off Your Cleveland Browns Pride” – After last Sunday??? How about therapy?

“A Special 14 Hour Sale Just For You” – I can’t be there. You can go ahead and cancel it.

And then the heart stopper.

WARRANT ISSUED

Please be advised that Judge (I don’t want to make him mad), City of Waco Muncipal Court Judge, has issued a warrant for your arrest.

This got my attention.

This may be your last opportunity to pay.

This is Texas…that is a scary statement.

You also can be arrested at your work or home.

They would have a hard time finding me working but this is serious stuff!

My mind raced. I thought that this is going to hurt the very modest sales of my Christian books when I am cuffed and dragged off to the big house. The next thought was what the blazes had I done to be a wanted man? I called the City of Waco offices and gave them my case number (my first time to have a case number). I was thinking insanity would be my plea…witnesses would be no problem. The clerk informed me that my offense was actually a parking ticket picked up and ingnored by my first born while he attended Baylor.  I could simply admit my (his) guilt, give them a credit card number, and avoid having a humiliating mug shot on file. She turned to the records to enter my payment.

“Oh wait,” she said. “This was paid in full in 1999.”

“So if I had been pulled over in Waco this weekend I would have been cuffed and jailed for an offense that has been cleared?”

“Sorry Sir, I will fix that.”

For some reason I didn’t have a lot of confidence in the record keeping on the Brazos. I asked her to send me a copy of the debt payment just in case I somehow, inexplicably, for the first time in my life,  was caught speeding through Waco. On Thursday before Homecoming I received a notarized release of my guilt. I carried it in my pocket all weekend.

Later I thought how scary that notice was and I was innocent! I can’t imagine the fear I would have experienced had I been guilty and received that warrant.

It made me think of another life experience where I fought the law. As I examined God’s Word I realized that I could not keep the law and live a sinless life that would allow me to be declared innocent in front of a Holy God. For a while I fought the law, and the law won (is there a song in there somewhere?). But I realized I could never reconcile with a Holy God on my own merit. James says if you break one part of the law you have violated all of it.

For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it. James 2:10 NIV

I had broken large chunks of the law. But when I read further I found out something very interesting. My debt had been paid in full over 2,000 years ago. I would not get a notarized copy but I would get the reassuring presence of the Holy Spirit. If I was terrified to face the City of Waco what would it be like to face a Holy and Righteous God with a warrant issued for my sin?

I will never know. My debt has been paid by Jesus. I fought the law and the Lord won. If your warrant is still active may I encourage you to get it cancelled? My email address is on this website if I can answer any questions.