I love people watching. Regular readers know that I openly acknowledge that my brain was not wired to factory specs. So I am letting down the curtain a bit to allow you to see a few minutes in my world. Here are my RMWPW (random musings while people watching) from a day at an outdoor food court yesterday.
- I do not understand women and shoes. Can someone (preferably female) explain to me why you, as a species, are willing to cram your feet into shoes so pointed you could give injections by kicking somebody in the posterior? I look at my foot and I look at those shoes. It does not compute. The human foot does not narrow to a needlepoint. The second question I have is why do women wear shoes they cannot walk in? I realize I am lacking advanced degrees but it seems to me that a shoe that does not allow you to walk is not a good idea. I am watching two kinds of awkward walkers during my mall musings. First are the women who are wearing very high heels. I observed one young lady doing an imitation of a fawn taking her first steps, awkward and unstable. How is that attractive to watch an otherwise well dressed woman wobble across a room? How have the lawyers missed this opportunity to sue a manufacturer? I am certain that more than one woman has found pavement while trying to perform a difficult task like walking to lunch. Then there are the women who combine the slide on shoe with the high heels. The combination of trying to keep the shoe on while maintaining balance is sadly amusing. I have been told that high heels make a woman’s legs look more attractive. I think the truth is a paraphrase of the quote from author F.Scott Fitzgerald who noted that “the rich are different from you and me”. I think that the parallel truth is that “the glamorous are different from you and me” and that applies to shoes. The women that look really good in needle-nosed circus stilts would look good in combat boots. For the rest of us I recommend comfortable shoes and a warm smile.
- Men, no matter how much they work out, should be legally constrained from wearing tank tops. Even if you have impressive biceps I still have a desire to go home and watch an episode of Cops. Sorry. And some of you look like a bear wearing a undershirt. That is cute for Barnum and Bailey…not so much at the mall.
- Cellphones are the official electronic device of Satan. I listened (not my choice…I couldn’t not listen) to three separate disputes happening via the miracle of cell phones. I couldn’t help but think that having a way to instantly connect when upset is a really, really bad idea. Making that call while in the red hot ember phase of anger just can’t be good. Maybe it would have gone better if these unhappy people had waited a few hours to finish work and then had a conversation (Conversation – an ancient means of communicating where people sat, made eye contact, and talked without electronic amplification or cryptic text). But that is just me succumbing to the inexorable decline into grumpy old manhood.
- We don’t exercise nearly as much as we supersize. I am watching some trays of food go by that could feed a six man football team with normal portions. I remember the size of burgers, fries, and drinks from my childhood. I suspect those would be smaller than the “Happy Meal” size of today.
- I keep thinking about Reggie White. I wrote an article about his search for real Christianity a couple of days ago. Tomorrow his widow will be in Canton, Ohio to witness his posthumous induction into the Pro Football Hall of Fame. I thought about how suddenly his life ended. I would imagine that Christmas Day in 2004 was a joyous family day for the Whites. I suspect that Reggie White was excited about the new year, his renewed quest to get his walk with Jesus right, and his almost sure election to the Hall of Fame. I am sure he never expected Christmas night that the next day would be his last on earth. The next morning Reggie White died suddenly and unexpectedly at the age of 43. As I listen to these angry conversations I wonder. I wonder if these dear people knew this would be their last day on earth – would they be talking to loved ones like that? Would such petty things matter if they knew less than 24 hours remained? If I was armed with the knowledge that I had just a few precious hours left would I not mend every fence and reiterate my love to family and friends? James (who consistently ticks me off with his honesty and lack of loopholes) writes about the folly of boasting about our future plans.
Look here, you people who say, “Today or tomorrow we are going to a certain town and will stay there a year. We will do business there and make a profit.” How do you know what will happen tomorrow? For your life is like the morning fog–it’s here a little while, then it’s gone. What you ought to say is, “If the Lord wants us to, we will live and do this or that.” Otherwise you will be boasting about your own plans, and all such boasting is evil. Remember, it is sin to know what you ought to do and then not do it. James 4 NLT
See why James is so annoying? Because I do know what I ought to do. But if I decide not to do it I don’t want to call it sin. I want to call it things like that is “a place where I need to grow” or maybe “I am just wired that way so I can’t help it”. Why can’t God cut me some slack on things like this? And the answer is because He loves me too much to leave me the way I am. You just never know about this vapor that is life. I am still deeply saddened that I could not find time to see my best friend from high school on a trip home to Ohio years ago. He wanted to get together. I was too tired. The next week he died in an accident. If only we could drop being so self-absorbed and considered what would happen if our time on this planet was limited. What actions would we take? What wrongs would we right? And if we know what we ought to do and we don’t do it…what would you call it?