Month: April 2007

One of the recurring themes of these humble ramblings is that real, deep rooted growth comes through trials. Adversity introduces a man to himself and you find out if your faith, or lack of faith, will sustain you. I have been following the story of a young man going through a terrible and unjust trial. His name is Eric Volz.

Eric is a US citizen who is being held in a Nicaraguan prison for a crime that he could not possibly have committed. In the interest of full disclosure, I do have a personal connection to this story. My son works at Belmont University and through him I have met Eric’s stepfather, Dane Anthony. Dane has left his job to devote himself fulltime to freeing his stepson.

Dateline recently ran a story about the case.

Here is a bit of background. A website called Friends of Eric Volz outlines the entire story. Here are just a few facts of the case.

Doris Jimenez was killed Tuesday, November 21, 2006, between 11:45 am and 1:00 pm, in San Juan del Sur, Nicaragua. Her body was found at about 2:00 pm inside a clothing store she owned. She was tied, strangled and asphyxiated. Doris was popular and attractive and her murder deeply unsettled this small tourist town.

Eric Volz was two hours away in Managua at the time of the murder. Eric, a 27-year old American, had been living in Nicaragua for some two years. Not only were there 10 witnesses who saw him in Managua during the time of the murder, none of the physical evidence recovered from the scene linked Eric to the crime. Indeed, none of the blood, fluid, hair, or other physical evidence collected at the scene had any tie to Eric.

Throughout the day of the murder Eric was in Managua at the house where he lived and worked. Eric’s house in Managua served as the offices of EP Magazine — a sustainable development and lifestyle magazine. Eric awoke there early that morning and entered the office area at around 9:15 am. The housekeeper, security guard and no fewer than five EP workers were there at the time and saw Eric.

The website carefully documents the arrest, prosecution, defense and conviction of Eric Volz. Reading the facts of this case will make you ill as you try to comprehend the injustice of this conviction. It is impossible for me to imagine what Eric and his family must be going through right now. Volz was wrongly convicted and sentenced to 30 years in prison.

I thought of Eric as I read the book of Philippians. Paul could empathise with the experience that Eric Volz is enduring. Paul wrote that epistle to the church at Philippi while chained to a Roman prison guard. You talk about writer’s block! Yet Paul was able to see how God was using his awful circumstance for His glory.

And I want you to know, my dear brothers and sisters, that everything that has happened to me here has helped to spread the Good News. For everyone here, including the whole palace guard, knows that I am in chains because of Christ. And because of my imprisonment, most of the believers here have gained confidence and boldly speak God’s message without fear.

Eric has recently written his own letter from prison. He receives letters and printed copies of emails every two to three weeks. He responded to the outpouring of support in a letter dated April 17^th.

Most important regarding the support I want to say the following: a man can live weeks without food, days without water, but can’t go minutes without HOPE.

Eric Volz has gained a lifetime of wisdom in the fires of this trial. He concludes his letter…

I have no idea why I have been appointed to be the lightning rod for all of this, but you can imagine how it makes me feel to read from in these walls that “my suffering is producing good fruit” in people’s lives around the world. It overwhelms me with deep strength and peace.

At times the is despair so overwhelming there are no words, there is pain so deep it does not have a name, and the fear is so powerful we cannot paint his face. Yet, as a result of those who love and support me I see beauty above it all.

I can almost hear the Psalmist as I read Eric’s lament. David wrote these words in Psalm 13.

1 How long, O LORD ? Will you forget me forever?
       How long will you hide your face from me?

 2 How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
       and every day have sorrow in my heart?
       How long will my enemy triumph over me?

 3 Look on me and answer, O LORD my God.
       Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death;

 4 my enemy will say, “I have overcome him,”
       and my foes will rejoice when I fall.

 5 But I trust in your unfailing love;
       my heart rejoices in your salvation.

 6 I will sing to the LORD,
       for he has been good to me.

Will you join me in praying for Eric Volz? Pray for his family that they will feel the peace and comfort of the Holy Spirit. Pray for the family of the victim and that real justice will prevail for her and that suffering family. Pray that God will move in hearts of the authorities both here and in Nicaragua. Pray for the gatekeeper who will oversee Eric’s appeal. Pray for justice. Pray for Eric’s strength and safety. Pray that God will mold Eric Volz in this terrible trial into a man who will glorify Him as he lives his life in freedom that we believe will happen soon. And pray that Eric will trust in God’s unfailing love and the knowledge that even in this prison He has been faithful to him.

Note: You can contribute to help the family’s defense funds or send a letter to Eric by clicking on the links. You can also let your congresspersons and senators know that you care about this case. I am waiting on Representative Jeb Hensarling’s response this week. I will keep you posted.

 

 

When I was younger you knew exactly when a celebrities career had peaked and had begun to spiral slowly downward. That career reversal could be duly noted when a one time big star was booked on the Love Boat. So it is with some reluctance that I address the brouhaha surrounding the comments by talk show host Rosie O’Donnell. I am reluctant to discuss this because I think that Rosie is in the Love Boat phase of her career. To be fair, she has forged a career that garners her national attention. My career has made me a household name only in my household. Don’t expect her to waste her time on a feud with “the Dave” to parallel the ongoing nasty exchange with “the Donald”.

To be honest, Rosie makes me sad when she isn’t making me angry. I hear the bitterness in her tone and the anger in her eyes and I feel sorry for her. I am sure that would draw a “Rosie response” for me but that is my take when I watch her. I have known people with that tone and those eyes and they are miserable. Rosie leaving The View has no impact on my life. Occasionally I would read a comment she had made or an outrageous claim that caused a furor (read: ratings enhancer) in the media. I responded last year to a comment that O’Donnell made about the “agenda” of radical Christianity. Since I am growing weary of having Sam Harris and others tell me what my real agenda is I decided to come clean. This is a review of my confession of my “threatening” personal agenda.

The comment that Rosie O’Don nell made last fall conveyed a common misconception about the “agenda” of Christians in this country. Here is what the always genteel Rosie had to say during that episode of  The View.

“Radical Christianity is just as threatening as radical Islam in a country like America where we have separation of church and state.”

Perhaps part of the problem is a lack of clarity in definition. Unfortunately the sacred name of Christian has been compromised. People who clearly do not follow the directives of Christ are still reported as Christians in many media stories. And frankly, many have taken the name on themselves who are not representing Christ in their lives or beliefs. So when Rosie throws out the term “radical Christianity” I really don’t know what or who she is talking about. If she is talking about the millions of people in this country who call themselves followers of Jesus then I believe she is sadly misinformed.

The predictable (and likely hoped for outrage) happened. There were calls from Christian organizations for her removal from the show. Some demanded that Rosie apologize. Regular readers of these humble ramblings know that I take a different approach to situations like this. I don’t call for boycotts or dismissals. Instead I look to stick my foot in the cultural debate door that situations like this inevitably open to discuss my faith. I was disappointed when the TV show The Book of Daniel was removed so quickly because I was having a field day sharing my beliefs with others because of that truly bad television show.

And now, because of this incident, I am willing to totally outline my “agenda” for Rosie O’Donnell. Am I a radical Christian? By my definition I would like to be but I am still trying to get there. My definition of a radical Christian is one who lives everyday trying to become more like Jesus. That makes you pretty darn radical in this self-absorbed and materialistic culture.

I had written an earlier post after I had been outed by an internet blogger as being “apparently religious” in my viewpoints. I was stunned at his intellectual prowess in figuring out that a blog called “Confessions of a Bad Christian” was written from a religious perspective. How did I ever get discovered? I thought my cover was airtight! When I became aware that word of my Evangelical Christianity was out I went to the secret underground bunker where we all meet to plan how to advance our agenda.

“I have been Valerie Plumed!” I told the group.
“They know?”, they asked.
“I’m afraid so. Should I come clean?”
They looked horrified. “You mean tell them your agenda?”
“Yes,” I said boldly. “I am going to lay out my entire agenda so there will be no doubt.”

So here it is. I certainly don’t speak for all Evangelical Christians but I think I just might represent a number of them. So to Rosie and Sam and anyone else who believes I face Colorado Springs to pray I am coming clean. Here is what I believe and this is my entire agenda.

I believe that there is one God, eternally existent in three persons: Father, Son and Holy Spirit. I believe the Bible is the inspired and authoritative Word of God. I believe in the deity of Jesus Christ, in His virgin birth, His sinless life, and miracles.  I believe in His atoning death, in His bodily resurrection, in His ascension to the right hand of the Father, and in His personal return in power and glory. I believe in the present ministry of the Holy Spirit by whose indwelling the Christian is enabled to live a godly life.

Let me tell you what this particular evangelical Christian does not believe…

I do not believe you have to be a Republican to be a Christian despited accusations to the contrary by some of my critics. Like it or not, heaven will be bipartisan and I am totally fine that there will not be sides of the golden aisles.
I do not believe that God is “judging” America for any particular sin. But if He is judging this country I would suspect it is for the massive squandering of wealth and resources that we have been blessed with while giving back an average of less than three percent.
I do not believe in ranking sins for their offensiveness to a Holy God. Some things are more offensive to us but all sin is equally intolerable to a Holy God.
I do not believe that censorship, boycotts, or politics will redeem this culture…only a spiritual renewal can accomplish such redemption.
I do not believe that it is my place to relish or desire eternal punishment for others. I am willing to leave that to a righteous and just God who sees the real heart and motives for each one of us and Who will judge justly.

And finally, here is my complete agenda.

• To try and see everyone through the eyes of Jesus because my eyes are prejudiced and prideful.
• To try and love them like Jesus because my love is selfish.
• To let them others know that my relationship with Jesus has changed my life, given my life purpose, given me strength to endure tragedy, and real hope for the future.
• To authentically relate how this personal relationship with the living God saved my marriage and made me a better father to my sons.
• To be gentle in relating the good news of the gospel of Jesus Christ to people in every situation and mired in any sin. My goal is to introduce them to Jesus and let them work out their salvation in fear and trembling.
• To exhibit grace and forgiveness to those who attack me for not sharing their views.
• To be an example of the living Christ to everyone I come in contact so that I can be salt and light to my little circle of influence.
• To be a advocate for those wounded by the church and other Christians. Our lack of unity must grieve the Lord who prayed for unity of the body during His final agonizing hours before His betrayal, mock trial, and crucifixion.
• To try to never be surprised or repulsed by the actions of those who do not have a relationship with Jesus. The Lord Himself was always gentle with sinners and always tough on religious hypocrites. We have reversed his example far too often. We are too tough on sinners and too gentle with the hypocrites.
• To try and give generously of my time and treasure to those who have not been as materially blessed in my neighborhood, my country, and around the world.
• To let people know that I love Jesus and I am not at all ashamed of that fact.

In short, I am praying to be a “troublesome” Christian. It is easy to dismiss the hypocrite. No problem to ignore the angry and judgmental religious types. But I was troubled when I saw some Christians who displayed something different in their lives. I could not dismiss so readily the joy, peace, strength, courage, and love they modeled. They were “troublesome” Christians to me.  I could not ignore them because their lives were authentic and different (different good, not weird). I want to be that kind of Christian. That is my agenda. Sorry if I have disappointed you conspiracy types. But I have come completely clean with you. My entire agenda is to be a “troublesome” Christian because Jesus is transforming my life every day. My prayer for Rosie O’Donnell is that she meets one of these troublesome Christians and then that she encounter the real Jesus. That’s it. End of agenda. That’s all I’ve got. I am so relieved that you finally know the truth.

There is no time to write today so I am posting a personal favorite from the gently read file.

Blessings,  Dave

Last week I was spending a few minutes at Baton Rouge Airport before heading home. The airport is designed with a large central glass dome and some trees in the middle of the atrium. The early morning rush was over and the airport was surprisingly quiet. I heard something that caught my attention.

Chirping.

Not some bozo on a cell phone. Actual bird chirping. I looked up and saw what looked like a couple of sparrows flitting about near the top of the atrium. Somehow these wild birds had found their way inside the airport terminal. I watched them for awhile and I thought about how cold it was outside that day. I reflected on how “lucky” those birds were to be in a climate controlled atrium and not have to brave the elements. They could forage amongst the left over food of the travelers. What a life!

And then it hit me. That is how I tend to live my Christian life. Seeking comfort over challenge. Safety over risk. I looked at that bird in his artificial and safe environment and I surmised that was a good life for those birds. But that was not what birds were created to be. Those sparrows were created to fly freely. They were designed to soar without hitting the glass ceiling of safety.

God did not not create me to live in a climate controlled atrium of safety. Living that kind of Christian life is so easy in America. There is a safe path of least resistance to be a Christian in this country. No resistance just might mean you aren’t doing anything that threatens Satan. In basketball you don’t guard the players that aren’t doing anything. They pose no threat to your goal of winning the game.

Comfy Christianity is epidemic in America. We encounter a store that won’t say Merry Christmas and we think we are persecuted. God help us.

We send checks instead of serving. But according to most giving research we don’t even do that very well.

God has called me (and you) to give and to serve. In the Civil War the wealthy paid poor men to go “serve” for them. I remember having such disdain when I read that bit of history. But don’t I do the same thing in my Christian journey? I feel really good if I pay a missionary to go reach the world with the message of Jesus. I feel like I am godly if I give to the church so the “professionals” can do ministry. But God is asking me to do both. Give and serve. Maybe not be a missionary but certainly to reach out to my neighbor and my community. I was not created to live in a safe dome of climate controlled Christianity. Jesus is not safe. Following Him will take you out of the comfort zone and into the messy world of ministry. How did the early church explode against all odds? The Church History Institute makes these points in an article on the early church history.

After the Apostle Paul, we do not run across many “big names” as missionaries in the first few hundred years of Christian history. Instead the faith spread through a multitude of humble, ordinary believers whose names have been long forgotten. Early Christianity was primarily an urban faith, establishing itself in the city centers of the Roman Empire. Most of the people lived close together in crowded tenements. There were few secrets in such a setting. The faith spread as neighbors saw the lives of the believers close-up, on a daily basis.

It is too often a tragic occurance that careful observation of modern Christians on a close-up, daily basis is a reason to turn away from faith, not toward it. The article goes on…

And what kind of lives did they lead? Justin Martyr, a noted early Christian theologian, wrote to Emperor Antoninus Pius and described the believers: “We formerly rejoiced in uncleanness of life, but now love only chastity; before we used the magic arts, but now dedicate ourselves to the true and unbegotten God; before we loved money and possessions more than anything, but now we share what we have and to everyone who is in need; before we hated one another and killed one another and would not eat with those of another race, but now since the manifestation of Christ, we have come to a common life and pray for our enemies and try to win over those who hate us without just cause.”

In another place Justin points out how those opposed to Christianity were sometimes won over as they saw the consistency in the lives of believers, noting their extraordinary forbearance when cheated and their honesty in business dealings.

Perhaps the main reason the early church exploded is contained in the lyric of a simple song we used to sing while we were on staff with Campus Crusade.

They will know we are Christians by our love, by our love. They will know we are Christians by our love.

Will they? Those exposed to the early church knew the people called Christians were different. Very different. The article continues.

Christians became known as those who cared for the sick. Many were known for the healings that resulted from their prayers. Christians also started the first “Meals on Wheels.” By the year 250, they were feeding more than 1500 of the hungry and destitute in Rome every day.

When Emperor Julian (“the Apostate”) wanted to revive pagan religion in the mid-300s, he gave a most helpful insight into how the church spread. This opponent of the faith said that Christianity “has been specially advanced through the loving service rendered to strangers and through their care of the burial of the dead. It is a scandal that there is not a single Jew who is a beggar and that the [Christians] care not only for their own poor but for ours as well; while those who belong to us look in vain for the help we should render them.”

Oh that we could adopt a “scandalous” faith that would not overlook a beggar or turn away from those who need care. Those who labor in love serving the AID’s victims in Africa are following that tradition. Is it a surprise that Christianity is growing so rapidly in Africa? God bless you. The brave followers of Jesus who carry the gospel to countries where persecution is real are following the example of the early church. God protect you.

For the rest of us the questions are uncomfortable. Are we willing to leave the climate controlled Christianity that is so comfy and fly outside where it is risky and dangerous? That is what we were created to be. I pray I will have the courage to take wing.

 

I am not a big celebrity guy. I would rather read a year old Sporting News than a freshly minted People magazine. But I did take note of the now infamous recorded outburst by actor Alec Baldwin directed at his daughter. Baldwin and former wife Kim Bassinger are engaged in a long and bitter custody battle over their eleven year old daughter. Sadly, similar battles are being fought much more anonymously all over the land today. As always with these humble ramblings, my intent is not to demonize the principles of this story, but to seek broader lessons for all of us.

By the grace of God I have been spared the heartbreak of divorce in my own marriage. I have counseled and consoled many who have suffered the agony of divorce. It is never easy. It is particularly difficult when children are in the equation. I wrote a blog about the myth of the “good divorce” earlier. A bit of background if you don’t know the story that is currently in the news. A very frustrated Alec Baldwin apparently made an effort to call his daughter at a particular time to talk. When she did not answer the phone Baldwin lost his temper and left an angry and unfortunate diatribe on the  voicemail. Baldwin called his daughter a “rude, thoughtless little pig” during his angry outburst.

At his website the actor apologized for the angry message. Regular readers of these ramblings know that I have a consistent theme when it comes to apologies or asking forgiveness. Leave your “but” out of it. Perhaps it is necessary to offer mitigating factors as an excuse when you are a celebrity. Baldwin felt that he had to explain his anger. “I am sorry for losing my temper with my child.”  So far, so good. “But I have been driven to the edge by parental alienation for many years”. That changes the apology from I am sorry to not my fault. And that is the message that the child hears.

He also said he was “most saddened… because of what it does to a child” that the voicemail message appeared on celebrity websites. I have no insight into the personal situation between Baldwin and Bassinger. I do suspect that the message appearing on celebrity websites is not nearly as damaging as hearing words like that from your Dad.

I have said some mean things to my sons when I was angry. Fortunately it does not make news when a middling selling author gets angry. I regret every single word spoken in anger to them. I spent a lot of time saying “I’m sorry” and “please forgive me”. I hope I did not cancel my apology with excuses.

Nearly every parent in a custody battle says it is about the child. Too often the words and actions say otherwise. Again, my quoting of Baldwin is not to condemn him but to make a broader point. Baldwin’s statement said: “Everyone who knows me privately knows that I have endured a great deal over the last several years in my custody litigation.”

The message is that this is a whole lot about him. I would suggest that the child has endured the most in this litigation because she does not have the maturity or experience to process it. When a child is born it is no longer about you. It is (or should be) about the nurturing of that child.

Scripture has much wisdom about the father’s role in molding a child to fulfill their unique design. Too often the only biblical truth communicated is the discipline verses. And I do believe that loving discipline is a must. We are quick to remind our kids that they are to “honor” their father and mother. But we conveniently overlook the verse that follows. 

Fathers, don’t exasperate your children by coming down hard on them. Take them by the hand and lead them in the way of the Master. (Eph 6 – The Message)

It is quite a bit easier to “honor” a Dad who takes a child by the hand and teaches them about the love and grace of Jesus.  Paul later reminds the fathers in Colossae about how to treat their children.

Fathers, do not aggravate your children, or they will become discouraged. (Col 3 – NLT)

Men…we are the ones who need to be the grownups. You can not expect a child caught tragically in the middle to respond with maturity. A final lesson from this sad episode. Words are toxic. James wrote this hard truth.

People can tame all kinds of animals, birds, reptiles, and fish, but no one can tame the tongue. It is restless and evil, full of deadly poison.

I was spanked and punished as a child. I can only vaguely remember those events. But I can vividly recall the hurtful words that were said. That is the saddest part of battles like this very public dispute. I know nothing about these celebrity parents. I don’t know their motives or hearts. But I do know that the war of words is most likely damaging to a young soul.  My heart aches for the child. I pray that we can learn from this sad story about how vital it is to realize the power of words.

I related a story in my book, “Bring’em Back Alive”, about a little boy with a terrible temper. His father gave him a big bag of nails and instructed him to hammer a nail into the fence every time he lost his temper. After the first day over three dozen nails were hammered into the fence. But as the days went by the little boy began to control his temper more and more. One day the boy realized that he was no longer driving nails into the fence. When he proudly told his father he was given the new task of pulling out one nail for every day he continued to hold his temper. Finally all of the nails were removed. The father took his son out to the fence. “You have done a great job, son. But look at the holes in the fence. This fence will never be like it was before. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can stick a knife in a person and no matter how many times you say I’m sorry, the wound is still there. A verbal wound is just as bad as a physical one.”

Words do damage and they leave a scar. Give us the compassion to pray for this child caught in a public crossfire. For the rest of us, especially in the wake of the tragedy at Virginia Tech, love your children and let them know it. Discipline gently and in love. And watch your tongue. It is a lethal weapon when wielded in anger.

 

 

 

 

One of the random thrills that I have received in my modest second career as an author was receiving an unexpected box of books one day. I had not ordered any books that week (a rarity) nor was I expecting any shipments from my publisher. I opened the box and found six copies of a book written in some mystifying Asian language. Thinking this must be some mistake I looked more closely and recognized my name on a blurb on the back. My first book, When Bad Christians Happen to Good People, had been translated into Korean and the new title was “The Bad Christian”.

I had no idea that the rights to my book had been secured and was now being sold in Korea. I was now a bilingual writer even though the only Korean words I could remember were both foods…kimchi and bulgogi.

I don’t know how the book has sold there. I don’t know how the average Korean relates to my odd brain patterns. But I do know that there is much that I admire about the culture and the people of Korea. I was in Seoul for the 1988 Olympics and got to see the warmth and dignity of the Korean people firsthand. Like every culture they have problem citizens and I saw that side of Seoul as well. But the Korean culture has one unique characteristic that I wish the American church would meditate about and debate as something we should consider.

Collective responsibility.

The tragedy at Virginia Tech sent shockwaves of grief, shame, and apology through the Korean community. I read an editorial in today’s Dallas Morning News that was printed in the Korea Herald. Here is some of that article.

Many Koreans were dumbfounded and felt ashamed when they learned a Korean student shot dead more than 30 people at the university. Behind these reactions is a sense of collective guilt the Korean people feel about the heinous crime committed by a fellow Korean. Koreans, having traditionally been trained to think of themselves as members of a family, a group and a nation, rather than as individuals, have shouldered collective responsibility for the slayings.

My first reaction was to dismiss the collective guilt as misplaced and even a little silly. The gunman was one single deranged individual…not an entire country. Then I realized that it was somehow comforting to know that millions cared because one of their people had done an evil thing.

As I considered their response I wondered if followers of Christ should take a similar approach? Are we shocked and ashamed when a person claiming the name of Jesus does great harm? Do we think of ourselves as a family rather than individuals? Do we express heartbreak and care to others who are wounded even though we were not the one who damaged the name of Christ? Do we lovingly seek to show that such actions do not reflect the teachings of Jesus?

I learned from my first book that many people are helped by simply realizing that there are Christians that understand that there is a disconnect between words versus deeds by many believers. To anyone who stumbles upon this post I would humbly follow the lead of my Korean brothers and sisters. I am deeply sorry and saddened that anyone is wounded by a person who proclaims he is a follower of Jesus. Any action that does not show grace or love or tenderness is not in line with the teachings of Christ. When one of our body wounds another part of the body we should all feel the pain and we should all desire to be part of the healing. Forgive us for not always listening to the soft voice of the Holy Spirit to be a part of the solution. We really are in this walk together and Christians must shoulder collective responsibility for those who do not represent Jesus well. While we may not be the perpetrators we are the hands and feet of God that He uses to heal His wounded lambs.

The other encouraging aspect of this otherwise tragic event was the lesson the Korean people have learned from America.

Grace.

Koreans residing in the United States feared they would be targets of reprisal attacks in an ethnic conflict. Here is more from the Korean Herald editorial.

Koreans, who have been in close and wide-ranging contact with Americans since U.S. participation in the 1950-53 Korean War, have come to believe that they are well aware of what America and its people are really like. But the Virginia Tech tragedy raises serious doubt about this widely held conviction.

But almost all of the scores of e-mails that The Korea Herald received from the United States reassured us that there will be no racial, political or other forms of retribution against Korea and Koreans. The writers made efforts to convince us that ethnicity had no place in the crime, and that it was committed by a deranged individual who happened to be Korean.

Among the e-mails is one from Kathy L. Cronin, who wrote: “Please convey to the people of Korea that America is a vast and diverse nation of vast and diverse backgrounds, opinions, abilities, and mental aptitude. There may be individuals who voice an opinion which 99.999 percent of the people in America would vehemently disavow.”

Some of the e-mails also gave us valuable advice. They urged us to reflect on the emotionally charged responses we had against the United States when a U.S. armored vehicle accidentally killed two Korean schoolgirls in 2002. We have much to learn from the Virginia Tech tragedy.

I am so grateful that America has shown grace to our Korean friends. Paul wrote an amazingly concise roadmap about how to live as followers of Jesus.

Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful. Let the message about Christ, in all its richness, fill your lives.  Col 3  NLT

Perhaps combining the lessons would make for a much more effective body of Christ in this hurting culture. Collective and genuine concern for the actions of the church balanced with the amazing grace of Jesus would be an incredible balance to seek.

That is a response that can bring healing out of senseless tragedy.

I have not been able to write about the tragedy at Virginia Tech. Perhaps with a son at college it just hits too close to home. But this earlier artlcle does address one aspect of this tragedy. God does bless the broken road. I have seen it firsthand for almost forty years.

Blessings and hope, Dave

On the old iPod is a “shuffle songs” feature. You hit the button and the iPod randomly picks a song.  I am writing a blog about whatever song the device selects on that day from the 1,000 plus songs on my iPod. My music list will further confirm my status as a Christian who makes others feel superior. My music goes from Al Green to the Youngbloods. Beatles to U2. Old hymns to modern praise music. Toby Keith to Frank Sinatra. Oldies to the soundtrack from Monty Python’s Spamalot. This could be interesting. So with without further ado the selection today is…

Bless the Broken Road by Rascal Flatts.    I had written a very personal blog earlier featuring a song by Rascal Flatts called Skin. The song dealt with a young girl’s cancer, losing her hair, and going to the prom. It brought out the tissue inventory because Joni and I have had to address that issue (not going to the prom…losing her hair) with her ongoing breast cancer journey.

Today’s song, Bless the Broken Road, has also become a hit for the group Selah. Here are some of the lyrics.

I set out on a narrow way, many years ago
Hoping I would find true love, along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two, wiped my brow and kept pushing through
I couldn’t see how every sign, pointed straight to you

It is so interesting to look back over the landscape of three decades of this journey with Jesus. I can see God’s hand in so many events and even heartbreaks in my life. My early church experience was a broken road of legalistic and judgmental Christians who crushed the spirit of a young and fumbling Christian. That experience became the basis of my books. I have found many friends who have shared my journey. C.S. Lewis once said that “Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, “What! You too? I thought I was the only one!” Sadly, many of us bear the wounds of dealing with imperfect people in the dysfunctional little gathering we call church. Still, God has blessed that broken road.

The broken road for me included the devastating death of a beloved nephew thirty-one years ago. At that point I was a crossroads in my faith. Turn my back on God or get serious in my pursuit of Him. Along the broken road God brought a man named Wendel Deyo into my life (Wendel now heads up a retreat center in Southern Ohio) . His life challenged me and he helped me stay on the narrow way. That relationship led to my association with Athletes in Action. And while on staff with AIA I met the lovely future Mrs.Burchett. And again, God blessed the broken road.

Every long lost dream, led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart, they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way, into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you
Yes He did

It is hard to imagine life without Joni. Her cancer has forced me to realize the possibility of that. I am grateful that her prognosis is good but I pray I will never again take her for granted.

I think about the years I spent, just passin’ through
I’d like to have the time I lost, and give it back to you

I remember with great sadness the years I spent working too much, taking my bride for granted, telling her that the schedule would soon “ease up”. But it rarely did. I really wish I had that time back. I would give it to her in a heartbeat. If I could say one thing to young couples and parents it would be to make time for your mate and your children. It took me too long to realize the truth that our schedule reflects our priorities. But somehow Joni hung with me. She had traveled her own broken road.

But you just smile and take my hand, you’ve been there you understand
It’s all part of a grander plan, that is comin’ true

Every long lost dream, led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart, they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way, into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

The journey is not easy. Never will be. One of the big mistakes we make in sharing our faith is making it seem like all troubles are over when you embrace Christianity. That is not in the contract. We will still have problems and heartaches and even tragedies. But God will bless the broken road. King David wrote these words while escaping down a broken road…

The LORD is close to the brokenhearted;
       he rescues those who are crushed in spirit.  Psalm 34:18

C.S. Lewis also said that no one ever told him that grief felt so much like fear. Don’t be afraid to continue down the broken road. God will meet you there.

 

Regular readers of these humble ramblings remember a daring effort called the iPod devotional series. It was daring because I would hit the random shuffle feature and write about whatever song came up in the sequence. Because of my weird music tastes the concept was fraught with potential peril. My marginal integrity was challenged when a song by Toby Keith appeared on the screen but I gave it a shot. Other events and ADD diverted me from the series but I have decided to return with one difference. I am picking the song at least part of the time. Today is author’s choice and the song is called Watching You by country singer Rodney Atkins. The song is reminiscent of a very poignant song by the late Harry Chapin called Cat’s in the Cradle. That song piled guilt on a lot of Dad’s in the 80’s, myself included.

Atkin’s song recalls his shock when his little boy drops a mild expletive after spilling his drink. The horrified Dad demands to know where he heard such language.

He said, I’ve been watching you, dad ain’t that cool?
I’m your buckaroo, I want to be like you.
Yeah, we’re just alike, hey, ain’t we dad
I want to do everything you do.
So I’ve been watching you.

The incident may be humorous but the principle is sobering. Our children learn far more from watching their parents than from listening to them. This little boy demonstrates that if they do listen it will usually be at the wrong time!

The song goes on to detail a great response to his son’s revelation that he picked up that language from someone very close to him.

We got back home and I went to the barn
I bowed my head and I prayed real hard
Said, “Lord, please help me help my stupid self.”
Just this side of bedtime later that night
Turnin’ on my son’s Scooby-doo nightlight.
He crawled out of bed and he got down on his knees.
He closed his little eyes, folded his little hands
Spoke to God like he was talkin’ to a friend.
And I said, “Son, now where’d you learn to pray like that?”

The answer is obvious. He was watching Dad as he had earlier bowed in repentance before the Lord. It took me awhile to figure out that my sons were watching even when they appeared disinterested or even distant. Thanks to a wonderful Mom and a lot of grace we have been blessed with three awesome sons. I have asked them to tell me what I did right and I also asked what I could have done better. Their answers were instructive. First, some positive things that our sons noted.

• We picked our battles carefully. Middle Son Scott told us that when we were passionate about an issue he knew it was important to us. We extended grace on most issues. For example, my wife graciously allowed the boy’s rooms to be a bit less tidy than she would have preferred. She knew that was not a battle worth fighting. She simply closed the door to their rooms and prayed for patience and for no rodents to nest.
• We prepared them to leave. Children are a gift that are entrusted to us for eighteen years or so. It is our job to prepare them to be independent and functional adults.
• We tried to model our faith during trials. When our daughter was born with a terminal birth defect we determined that our response would reflect how faith relates to life and especially to hard times.
• We learned to say “I was wrong” and “I am sorry”. Parents must model that for their children.
• We carefully monitored friends.
• We tried to adapt to their unique design and not try to force them into our personal dreams.
• We attempted to innoculate them to sin. An innoculation is a controlled exposure to disease that builds up immunity to that malady. We felt that sheltering our sons from the world would not prepare them to live successfully in it.

But nothing is more important than simply living what you are saying. They are watching. They start out wanting to be just like us. For new parents and future parents there is no more important lesson than recognizing how carefully your children are watching you.

If your kids are grown or nearly grown let me offer a word of encouragement. I did a few things right but I also did some things very poorly. All three sons wished I had worked less and been home more. So do I. But love really does cover a multitude of sins. They have forgiven me for being absent too often. I hope they will learn from my mistakes as they begin families. If you feel you need to reconcile with your kids I would encourage you to do that today. Grace is amazing and redemption is always possible in Jesus.

Paul addressed the church at Thessalonica. He was trying to describe how he attempted to communicate with the believers there. It is instructive that Paul chose the example of parents twice.

As apostles of Christ we could have been a burden to you, but we were gentle among you, like a mother caring for her little children. We loved you so much that we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well, because you had become so dear to us.

Later Paul makes this comparison.

For you know that we dealt with each of you as a father deals with his own children…

And how does Paul describe those dealings? He says that they communicated like a father that is “encouraging, comforting and urging you to live lives worthy of God, who calls you into his kingdom and glory”.

That is a pretty good roadmap for a father to follow. Be encouraging. Comfort your child. And urge them to live lives worthy of God. There is no fooling them because they are watching. Always.