Month: June 2007

My copy of World Magazine arrived in the mail this week and I noticed that Dr.Marvin Olasky had written an interesting feature. Here is the description from the article:

Since July 1, 2000, I’ve been telling WORLD readers every few months about my treadmill reading—books that exercise my mind while exercising my body. Normally I note only books worth reading, and have cited about 400 during those seven years. Here are 100 all-time treadmill favorites.

I scanned the impressive list of titles and authors. I actually overlooked on the first pass an author that is very close to me. 

Me.

Dr.Olasky included When Bad Christians Happen to Good People in his all-time treadmill faves. I was surprised and honored. I am sure that thinkers on his list like Alexander Solzhenitsyn, William F. Buckley, William Dembski, Alister McGrath, and many others would be just as surprised to be lumped in with me. I wrestled with the whole shameless self-promotion thing for several days. I did a search for the phrase “tooting your own horn” and I found that a book has actually been written on the subject. Peggy Klaus has written Brag – The Art of Tooting Your Own Horn Without Blowing It. So I decided to go to the expert on personal horn tooting. I found that Klaus had a helpful list posted at her website:

TWELVE TOOTING TIPS FOR MASTERING THE ART OF BRAGGING

• Be your best, authentic self.
• Think about to whom you are tooting.
• Say it with meaningful and entertaining stories.
• Keep it short and simple.
• Talk with me, not at me.
• Be able to back up what you say.
• Know when to toot.
• Turn small talk into big talk.
• Keep your Bragologues and Brag Bites current and fresh.
• Be ready at a moment’s notice.
• Have a sense of humor.
• Use it all: your eyes, your ears, your head, and your heart.

I have to confess that “know when to toot” made me giggle. One more reason that some of the authors listed above might be shocked to find me on the list. But I did find some helpful points.

• Be your best, authentic self. Okay. I have enormous respect for Dr.Olasky. I was genuinely honored that he included my book on his list.
• Keep it short and simple. A bigger challenge for me. This is a great list of books even if you find my personal horn tooting off putting.
• Have a sense of humor. How can I not have a sense of humor when my primary honor to stack up against the credentials of this prestigious list is “Dave is a member of Sam’s Club.”

Marvin Olasky added this note about my book.

When some churches fixate on unimportant matters, the antidote question is WJSHTOT—”Would Jesus Spend His Time on This?”

Mr.Olasky’s kind endorsement of my book was a nice surprise to start my week. Sorry for tooting my own horn. But what do you expect from an expert on “Bad Christians?”

One annual announcement is guaranteed to send me into “grumpy old man” syndrome. The Michigan Lawsuit Abuse Watch has just released the winners of the 10th Annual Wacky Warning Label Contest. The contest is conducted to reveal how lawsuits and concern about lawsuits, have created a need for commonsense warnings on products. This seemed like an appropriate follow-up to yesterday’s maddening story about the case of the multi-million dollar pants.

Before we unveil the winner allow us to warm up with these tributes to the obvious:

Honorable mention goes to Ronald Hyman of Augusta, Georgia for a warning he found on the cover of his local Yellow Pages book which cautions users: “Please do not use this directory while operating a moving vehicle.”

Excellent piece of advice. And because of this warning I have stopped doing my sudoku puzzle while driving on the freeway. Thanks!!!!

Third place was a tie between these warning labels:

Farrah Kakavand of Oak Park, California won a share of third place and $100 for a warning she found on a Super Lotto ticket which says, “Do not iron.”

How frustrating to have to present a rumpled winning lottery ticket! Unacceptable! Other care suggestions for your paper lottery ticket include avoiding fire and water. Solid advice.

The other third-place check went to Nancy Shue of York, Pennsylvania who found this warning label on a cell phone. The warning? “Don’t try to dry your phone in a microwave oven.”

Who would consider putting a wet electronic device into a microwave? Don’t they deserve the consequences? The same label also helpfully suggests that you should keep your cell phone away from “the ground.” Seriously. They have a little icon that suggests you shouldn’t drop your phone. Who knew?

The $250 second-place award went to Rich Heitzig of Brooklyn Park, Minnesota, for a label on a personal watercraft that warns:, “Never use a lit match or open flame to check fuel level.”

Failure to heed this sage advice will definitely thin the herd. Is it really necessary to warn consumers about mixing fuel and fire?

Bob Wilkinson of Northville, Michigan won the $500 grand prize and a copy of the new book, “Remove Child Before Folding, The 101 Stupidest, Silliest and Wackiest Warning Labels Ever,” by M-LAW president Bob Dorigo Jones.

The champion label was found on a washing machine at a Laundromat, and the label makes a very sound suggestion:

“Do not put any person in this washer.”

Did this actually happen? Did someone think they would emerge fluffy and springtime fresh from a gentle spin in the washing machine? Do you need to have a snorkel that sticks out of the lid to breathe? Wouldn’t the spin cycle make you barf? Could I then hop in the dryer to get dewrinkled? That would be cheaper than botox. Can you drive home after all that spinning? Should you use your Yellow Pages while operating your vehicle? Oh wait…we already learned that answer.

“This annual contest gives us a chance to tell the inside story of how our nation’s legal system has become so erratic that these types of labels are necessary,” said Jones.

“The personal injury lawyers who file the frivolous lawsuits that make outrageously obvious warning labels necessary may not be pleased that we reveal some of their secrets, but America deserves to know how the ‘sue first, ask questions later’ mentality is changing our culture and piling costs on consumers.”

So as I go into my grumpy geezer mode I will point out that if I checked my fuel level with a match it was not the fault of the manufacturer of the machine. That would be my bad. If I destroyed my wet cell phone in a microwave that makes me a moron, not a victim. Sticking a person in the washing machine should lead to a separation from the herd for a long time, not a warning.

The movement to save us from ourselves has larger consequences. You cannot post enough labels to remove the risk to life. I think one of the dangerous and maybe even unintentionally deceitful things that Christians communicate is that coming to faith in Jesus will make your life trouble free. Perhaps we should have a label with every presentation of the gospel.

       Caution – Jesus reports that “in this world you will have trouble.”  (Read the small print in Mark and John)

Coming to faith does not remove the trouble from our lives. Jesus is not a money back guarantee for perfect health, unlimited prosperity, and nonstop giddiness. Trouble is a part of life. Problems either refine us or ruin us. That is where Jesus comes in.

         I’ve told you all this so that trusting me, you will be unshakable and assured, deeply at peace. In this godless world you will continue  to experience difficulties. But take heart! I’ve conquered the world.  (The Message,  John 16)

That is what I have discovered in my journey with Jesus. When life delivers the inevitable I can be assured, deeply at peace, and even unshakable. NBA star Alonzo Manning faced a career ending illness but his response was interesting. “Adversity introduces a man to himself.” I would suggest that adversity introduces a person to his faith. Does it stand up to the hard times? Real faith does. Jesus came to give us real life and to help us get through the risks that living life brings. I can testify that it works. I can also testify that life is full of trouble. Consider yourself warned.

 

Sorry I have been away from the blogosphere for a couple of days. I know that my tens of fans have missed the daily ramblings. Sometimes I have to go into seclusion and, like talk show host Glen Beck, duct tape my head to keep it from exploding. The most recent event that caused my distress centered around a lawsuit.

You have likely heard the story about the judge in Washington D.C. who lost his pants. Actually, according to Administrative Law Judge Roy Pearson, it was the nefarious folks at the local dry cleaners that lost his beloved pants. And these must have been some really terrific trousers because Judge Roy sued the mom-and-pop dry cleaners for $54 million in damages for the missing slacks.

I have had some pretty good pants in my life but I have never had a pair of slacks that I could trade for a brand new Boeing 737 jet. The good Judge Pearson caused my head to nearly explode when I read this account of the trial in The Washington Post.

A D.C. law judge broke down in tears and had to take a break from his testimony because he became too emotional while questioning himself about his experience with a missing pair of pants.

I tried to imagine the testimony. “I thought about that empty hanger…and…sob…could I have a moment here?” Back to the Post story.

Administrative law judge Roy Pearson is representing himself in civil court and claimed that he is owed $54 million from a local dry cleaner who he says lost his pants, despite a sign in their store which ensures “Satisfaction Guaranteed.”

The case gained national attention soon after the lawsuit was filed. The pants are expected to be introduced into evidence, although [Pearson] says the pants are not his, and the correct pants are still missing.

“Your Honor, I would like to introduce the first witness. Please call ‘Not My Pants’ to the stand.”

Perhaps they could have organized a trouser lineup for Judge Roy to try and identify his misplaced pants. Maybe a police artist composite sketch of his slacks could have located the traumatized trousers before it was too late.

“Is that about the right crease? Do you see a zipper that looks like the one on your pants? I know this is hard. Just work with me a little longer.”

To be honest, I underestimated the amount of trauma that Judge Pearson endured when his drawers went missing. I thought the people in Darfur were suffering until I heard this heartbreaking testimony.

Pearson testified that he had endured severe “mental suffering, inconvenience and discomfort.” In his opening statement, Pearson came out swinging, telling the court “never before in recorded history have a group of defendants engaged in such misleading and unfair business practices.”

That must come as a pleasant surprise to the Enron defendants. Pantsgate has, according to Pearson, superseded that little misunderstanding down in Houston.

Repeatedly referring to himself as ‘”we,” Pearson sought to represent himself as the leader of a class of tens of thousands, if not a half million local residents he believes are at risk of falling for such insidious business practices as posting “Satisfaction Guaranteed’ signs and “Same Day Service.”

“Mr. Pearson, you are not a ‘we’.” You are an  ‘I’,” Judge Judith Bartnoff told Pearson. But as he explained the details of the missing pants, Pearson struggled to get through his hour and a half of testimony, most of which concerned his credentials and his background. He became visibly emotional when he reached the point in the story where he confronted Soo Chung from the dry cleaning store.

“These are not my pants,” he testified yesterday, telling her “I have in my adult life, with one exception, never worn pants with cuffs.”

But Chung insisted, Pearson testified.

“These are your pants.”

Pearson rushed from the courtroom, tears streaming down his face.

I am a soft touch. I teared up when I watched Flicka the other night with my bride. But I am almost positive the phrase “these are your pants” will never make me weep. Perhaps it is just me. Could it be something in my background has kept me from developing the kind of relationship with my pants that Mr.Pearson has developed? Maybe my own dysfunction is at the root of my cold and distant trouser interactions. Sorry for the off-the-cuff confessions but I just don’t have any sentiments for my slacks. What is wrong with me?

This week the court ruled on the saga of the switched slacks. So how much did Roy Pearson get for his anguish, inconvenience and discomfort?

Nothing. Nada. Zilch.

Judge Judith Bartnoff heard the heartwrenching testimony and still somehow ruled against Pearson. The Washington Post quoted the judge’s ruling. “A reasonable consumer would not interpret ‘Satisfaction Guaranteed’ to mean that a merchant is required to satisfy a customer’s unreasonable demands or to accede to demands that the merchant has reasonable grounds to dispute,” Bartnoff wrote in a 23-page ruling, adding that Pearson “is not entitled to any relief whatsoever.”

Bartnoff ordered Pearson to pay the Chungs’ court costs — likely to be a few thousand dollars — to cover fees for filings, transcripts and similar expenses. But even bigger troubles loom. She said she will consider making Pearson also pay the couple’s attorneys’ fees arising from the two-year legal battle. With the legal costs likely to exceed $100,000, however, the Chungs aren’t counting on Pearson being able to pay, Manning said.

And with good reason. Up for reappointment this year, Pearson could have a hard time keeping his $96,000-a-year job if Bartnoff finds him at fault for his pursuit of the case. While awaiting a decision on his reappointment, Pearson is not hearing cases. He did not respond to emails seeking comment yesterday.

How can cases like this even get to a trial? Shouldn’t there be some basis for tossing out ridiculous lawsuits like this? During the past two years, Pearson rejected offers to settle, first for $3,000, then for $4,600 and finally for $12,000. I can tell you that if my dry cleaner loses my most very favorite pair of pants I will settle for $3,000 and just go to grief counseling for a few weeks. I promise I will fight through it.

What is the lesson for the rest of us? After removing the duct tape from my head I actually felt sorry for Mr.Pearson. I cannot imagine generating enough anger and bitterness to pursue such a lawsuit. But, in the spirit of this blog, I try really hard not to feel superior to others. So when I start down that path I simply remember and identify with the words of Paul.

This is a trustworthy saying, and everyone should accept it: “Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners”—and I am the worst of them all. But God had mercy on me so that Christ Jesus could use me as a prime example of his great patience with even the worst sinners. Then others will realize that they, too, can believe in him and receive eternal life. (I Timothy NLT)

I pray that Mr. Pearson, and all of us, will meditate on more important things this day than misplaced pants.

According to a scholar in seasonal disorders at a British university you should feel happier than you have all year this Saturday. Cliff Arnall has analysed such factors as outdoor activities, nature, social interaction, childhood memories, temperature and holidays — data gathered over a period of 15 years in interviews with 3,000 people around the world. His conclusion: June 23 is the happiest day of the year.  “People across borders experience happiness when they meet with friends and family and establish close social relationships,” the University of Cardiff academic reported. “We need some close emotional ties.” He used what he considers a “simple equation” to reach his conclusion — O + (N x S) + Cpm/T + He. O stands for outdoor activities, N for nature, S for social interaction, Cpm for childhood summers and positive memories, T for temperature and He for holidays and looking forward to time off.

Because I have written a lot about civility I am trying to be kind about this formula. Would it be in indelicate and impolite to suggest that I also have a formula about trying to pinpoint the happiest day of the year? Mine would be something like this. P (H) = BE.  P for predicting, H for happiness, BE for Bovine Excrement. I guess the grumpy old man factor came out there. I can understand how summer time, family, memories, and so on would lead to potential happiness. I also realize this is not hard science and a fun argument so please hold your cards and letters.

Arnall has also figured out the saddest day of the year. It was January 23.

Why I am a bit skeptical of circumstance based formulas for happiness? Because I am beginning to figure out that you can have joy even when circumstances wouldn’t necessarily reflect that emotion.

Joni and I are coming up on our happiest day of the year. That day will be this Monday, June 25^th when she completes her sixteen months of treatment for breast cancer. It would have been easy during that difficult journey for most of our days to feel like January 23^rd. But the amazing paradox of following Jesus is that you can find joy in trials. During this past year and a half we learned the truth of another formula. 

J + P + (F x L) + T = Joy. 

J is for Jesus, P is for Prayer, F is for friends, L is for laughter, and T is for trust. The formula works.

The Psalmist wrote these words.

This is the day the LORD has made;
       let us rejoice and be glad in it.

He has made both June 23 and January 23. He also has made today, June 21^st. This routine day has the potential to be a happy day of for me and it can be if I choose to follow the instruction of Nehemiah to Ezra. You might remember these words from a Sunday School song.

For the joy of the LORD is your strength

Circumstances will too often rob you of joy. We cannot control or choose our circumstances. Paul wrote about being content is his letter to the church at Phillipi. I am so grateful for one phrase in his letter. I am thankful that Paul wrote “I have learned to be content.” If he had written “I am content” it would have taken on a different tone of spiritual superiority. Paul admitted that had to learn the secret of being content and finding joy. His formula was not complex.

I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.

I am learning to choose joy in the Lord each day. I am choosing to believe that I can do everything through Him who gives me strength. Choose joy today. Why should June 23^rd have all the happiness?

 

I realized the amazing connections we have with our canine friends after a tongue in cheek piece called the Canine School of Evangelism became one the most read ramblings in the brief history of this blog. A follow up dog story about the Touch of the Master was also well received by readers.

It reaffirmed what I have been saying for years. I need to combine my dog stories with other Christian best seller titles in order to get enough book sales to retire. So I have begun work today on “The Power of Praying for Purpose Driven Dogs who are Left Behind.” Finally I will get some shelf space at the local Christian chain store! (Note to spiritual hall monitors: I am joking. I don’t write Christian books to generate income to retire. However, I wouldn’t mind getting enough to pay Baylor University tuition). The following story generated a lot of response. Here is the original piece.

I had decided to take a break from the dog days of my blog creative but a recent development from scenic Waco, Texas, changed my mind. It started innocently enough with a phone call from youngest son, Baylor student, and dog lover Brett. He had spotted three abandoned puppies along the side of the road and he stopped to try and help them. Two ran off but he managed to round up one of them. Brett called to let me know that he intended to bathe, feed, care for the dog, and then take him to the Humane Society on Monday for adoption. I knew I was in trouble when Brett decided to let me know what his rescued puppy looked like. This arrived via cell phone messaging.

                                                                                                                          

I called the lovely Mrs.Burchett. “He is working me,” I told her. “He is falling in love with this dog.” On Sunday I was driving through Waco and I stopped to see Brett and his alleged short term friend. The way this puppy followed Brett around and looked at him was astounding. He appeared to sense that Brett was, for him, the canine version of Amazing Grace. That dog seemed to understand that he once was lost, and now was found. Maybe if we remembered our dramatic rescue along the side of the sin road to destruction we might gaze at our Rescuer more consistently with that same look of adoration. But now we had a bigger problem. I started falling in love with this improbable mutt. I took my own camera photo to show to Joni.

                                                                                                               

I laughed with her and we realized that our family dog population had likely just increased. Brett was scheduled to take “Trigger” to the vet for shots and a checkup on Monday since the Humane Society/adoption thing had fallen off the radar. On Monday another phone call came. Trigger had become violently ill overnight. The scourge of all abandoned puppies seemed to have attacked this sweet little ragamuffin mutt. Trigger had  probably contracted the parvovirus. Brett’s words were heartbreaking in their honesty and love.

“Dad, I don’t think he is going to make it. But at least he knew he was loved for a few days.”

Okay…I cried at Old Yeller. I am a soft touch. But that remark from my youngest touched my heart and made me think that this is a microcosm of ministry. Sometimes it is heartbreaking. The results don’t always match our desires. But if we can love the down and out like Jesus at least they know they have been loved and they will know the source of that love.

For I was hungry, and you fed me. I was thirsty, and you gave me a drink. I was a stranger, and you invited me into your home. I was naked, and you gave me clothing. I was sick, and you cared for me. I was in prison, and you visited me.’ 
“Then these righteous ones will reply, `Lord, when did we ever see you hungry and feed you? Or thirsty and give you something to drink? Or a stranger and show you hospitality? Or naked and give you clothing? When did we ever see you sick or in prison, and visit you?’ And the King will tell them, `I assure you, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!’ Matt 25 – NLT

The results are not guaranteed when you minister to the least of these. But when we do minister to the least of these we show them the very face of Jesus. The lyrics from the group Casting Crowns fit nicely here.

Just love them like Jesus, carry them to Him
His yoke is easy, His burden is light
You don’t need the answers to all of life’s questions
Just know that He loves them and stay by their side
Love them like Jesus

Trigger spent the next two weeks on intravenous drip at the veterinary hospital. Modern medicine and a sizable MasterCard limit saved his life.

Update: Trigger is now a year and a half old. Here is recent photo of “Trig” after a three mile hike with his buddy Brett.

                                                               

As you can see Trigger is assembled from spare dog parts. Terrier ears, Labrador body, and a tongue from the Odd Lots store.

                                                              

Here is Brett and Trig chillin’ and enjoying a little fellowship. Sometimes we just need someone to come alongside us when we are on the wrong road. Trigger is a ragamuffin mutt saved by a young man who loved him. It was worth the effort. Pray that you will be sensitive to people who are left on the side of the sin road to fend for themselves. Maybe they just need to know they are loved. And that the source of that love is Jesus.

This a transcript of the words I spoke at my father’s memorial service. This will be my fourth Father’s Day since he went to be with his Heavenly Father. My Dad made a difference in my life. You will make a difference in the lives of your children. Children listen only sometimes. But they are always watching. My Dad probably never realized how closely I was watching. I can only pray that my Son’s will feel as blessed to call me Dad as I was to address my own father.

 

My Dad was a good man. Not a perfect man. Kindness was his calling card to everyone around him. The last time I saw my father he left me with a memory that will stay with me till I join him in eternity.

My last visit with Dad was a roller-coaster of emotions. He had made a remarkable and inspiring comeback from his devastating brain injury. I had talked to him on the phone! It was a moment so special that I will always be grateful to God for a chance to hear my Dad’s voice one more time. But by the time I got back to his bedside about 10 days ago something had begun to go terribly wrong. He was less responsive. The words came sparingly and with difficulty.

Nonetheless, when I walked into the room Dad’s eyes came alive and he grabbed my hand with an intensity that clearly communicated that he knew me. He stared at me and would often flash that special smile. But his words were few…mainly simple responses to my questions.

Our family had encountered one difficult employee at University Hospital (in Columbus, Ohio) and unfortunately, she was responsible for placing Dad into what we hoped would be successful rehab. But she had done nothing helpful and she had done nothing with a bad attitude. I will confess my frustration. I looked at (my Sister) Sherry as I held my Father’s hand and said, “We don’t have to take that crap!” To my surprise out of that shell that was my Dad came a very clear and loud response…”I taught you that!”

Yeah…you did teach me that Dad. And you taught me a whole lot more. You taught me that all of God’s children are to be valued. That everyone is important and deserves to be treated with dignity. I remember you coming home from work and going to a place much like this funeral chapel to pay respects to the family of one of your employees. I didn’t get that. I was selfish and wanted your time. I get it now.

You taught me the concept of grace. When I was in junior high I somehow manage to establish “credit” at a hobby store. I ran up a debt that was monumental in those days. When you found out I was terrified…but you taught me that grace means unmerited forgiveness for obvious guilt. You taught me there is a difference between mistakes of ignorance and willful wrongdoing. You taught me what forgiveness looks like….and what it means for someone to pay for your mistakes when it is undeserved. I got a little foretaste of how Jesus would pay a debt for me that I could not pay later on in my life.

You taught me that humor is a gift from God. That laughing at life and especially at your self makes it a whole lot easier to deal with daily frustrations. You taught me that you are about as happy as you make up your mind to be.

You weren’t perfect. You worried a little too much. But as I often told you, you freed me of that burden because I always knew you had the worry part covered. We had some issues to work out. But we did…because I loved you and I knew you loved me.

You taught me a lot Dad. And I will be forever grateful. Perhaps most importantly, you taught me what it looks like to be ready to die. You taught me how to put your family at ease by clearly and consistently letting us know that you were ready to meet Jesus. You taught me what an incredible difference that knowledge makes to those who love you at moments like this.

God’s Word consistently paints an image of God as our Father. Many people struggle with that picture because they can only relate to an angry, dominating or selfish father. I thank God that I was blessed with a father who gave me a clear image of how I can relate to God as my Heavenly Father.

There are two ways you can honor my Dad. First, take care of your eternal destiny today and share that news with those who love you. And make peace with anyone and everyone that you hold bitterness and anger toward. I would encourage you to leave this place and deal with those issues today. You do not know if you have a day, a week or a year, I never dreamed that my phone conversation on December 19th (2003) would be my last real time to talk to my Dad. But when I got the call about his changed condition I felt peace in my heart. I knew my Dad was sure about how I felt about him and I knew how he felt about me. I stand here today with no regrets. Everything that I needed to say to my Dad had been said. And I knew that he was ready to meet Jesus. Nothing would make my Dad happier than you following his example and make those same commitments today.

We started this series with a few samples from humor writer Dave Barry detailing some things it took him fifty years to learn. It took me a long time to learn some of the things on this list about leaving a positive legacy as a father. My prayer is that young dads will save some time and regrets by reading this list.

1. No one ever wishes they had worked more – Read yesterday’s post for more on this important point.
2. Pick your battles wisely – Make sure it is an issue that is worth confrontation. Middle son Scott told us that we did this well: “I knew it was important when you guys dug in on something.”
3. Innoculate your kids to the world – You must help your children prepare to go into a world that is filled with temptation and pitfalls. Providing a protective cocoon for eighteen years does not prepare them to leave home.
4. Answer on the first tug – Children feel valued when you make time for them.
5. Know their friends – They will push back on this one if you question their friends. Do it anyway.
6. Let them know when you are wrong. Learn to say I’m sorry and forgive me. Do it often.
7. Listen to what they say. If I could have a do-over I would listen to every pain, problems and concern. If I listen to them when they are small when they come to talk about problem, then they will continue to do that when they are older.
8. Make sure while praying for your family that you are also praying for yourself. A father’s prayers so often sound something like this, “God, please make my son and daughter good people. Help them to succeed in school. Help them to find the right person to marry. Take care of them and protect them.” I learned that to become the kind of dad I wanted to be required that I stay in the right relationship with my Heavenly Father. Not surprisingly, when I was walking with Jesus my sons were more likely to display the characteristics I was praying for God to miraculously impose on them.
9. Say I love you often and learn how to bless your children.

John Trent and Gary Smalley wrote a book some time ago called The Blessing in which they encouraged modern fathers to pass along a spiritual blessing to their children. The authors say that it’s more than taking them to church, praying with them or setting a good example. Smalley and Trent talk about five practical ways to pass on a blessing.

Number one: We can pass on a blessing with a meaningful touch. Jacob embraced. kissed and laid his hands on his sons and grandchildren. By giving a hug or a touch or placing an arm around the shoulder, we communicate love and a blessing. When children get loving touches from their parents, they are less likely to seek that physical touch from harmful sources later in life.

The Bible affirms this concept too. It relates this incident about Jesus: People were bringing little children to Jesus to have him touch them, but the disciples rebuked them. When Jesus saw this, he was indignant. He said to them, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.” And he took the children in his arms, put his hands on them and blessed them. (Mark 10:13-16)

One study has shown that it takes eight to ten meaningful touches each day to maintain emotional and physical health. If you can find ways to do that, your own children will be blessed.

Number two: We pass on a blessing through verbal affirmation. Children long to hear their dads say, “I’m proud of you,” “You’ve done that well,” or “I love you.”

Number three: We pass along a blessing by attaching value to our children. To bless means to honor. We honor our children by letting them know that they are valuable to us and that they are the most important people in the world to us. That means we sacrifice time for them. That means we look them in the eye when we talk to them, and we stop and we listen to them.

Number four: We pass along a blessing by picturing a positive future for them. Jacob pronounced a positive future on Reuben, Judah, Dan, Asher and others. We can bless our children by attaching high value to their gifts and then picturing for them a positive future.
“You really love people. You’d make a great salesman some day.” 
“The way you love animals, you’d be a good veterinarian.”
“You want to be a policeman. That means you’re courageous.”
“The way you love church, you’re going to be a great church leader some day.”

Number five: Trent and Smalley write that we bless our children by active commitment. It’s not enough to speak the words. There has to be a willingness by the parent to sacrifice for the children, to pray, to spend time in helping develop their gifts, to spend money for lessons and for higher education.

To be honest, many men find it difficult to do some of those things. Men tend to struggle with how to verbalize their feelings and to pass along that blessing. Mom can help Dad do that by communicating the good things he says to her in private about the kids. Mom can say to one of her kids, “You know what your dad said about you last night? He said, ‘I think that’s the smartest girl I’ve ever seen.”  Or “You should have seen the look on your dad’s face when you walked up on that platform.” Or “When you got that hit, he was beaming. His buttons were going to pop. He is so proud of you.”

If, as a father, you had less than one minute each day to talk to your children, what would you tell them? Studies show that fathers, on the average, spend less than sixty seconds a day talking to their children, and most of that time is spent pointing out negative behavior. However, the opposite of criticism is one of the most powerful motivating forces available to parents – praise. Don’t miss a chance to bless your children with affirmation and praise.

It has now been three years since we said a temporary goodbye to my beloved dad and friend. Paul Burchett went to be with his Heavenly Father on February 6, 2004. He had written a note to those he loved that we discovered after his death. His kind voice and trademark smile came to mind as we read his words:

“If I did things that made you smile, showed you love, made you happy, provided you with fond memories…then dwell on those things because I’ve won the battle. Keep God first in your life always. The only concern or regret that I have about going home is that I love you all so much.”

It is a comfort to know that I did not “lose” my dad three years ago. I know exactly where he is. Perhaps that is the greatest blessing you can give your children this Father’s Day. The knowledge that my dad loved Jesus and was ready to die was an incredible comfort for me. Having a personal relationship with your Heavenly Father is a great gift to give your children, and yourself, on this special day.