Month: September 2009

Today you will see why I keep “Confessions of a Bad Christian” as my blog title. Recently the movie Bull Durham was on a cable channel and I watched it again. Hard to believe it has been over 20 years since it was released. In this article I am going to draw some spiritual applications from an R-rated movie. Gasp. In my early church experience real Christians didn’t watch any movie and most assuredly not an R-rated one. The really godly people did not drink or dance. The really, really godly people did not have televisions. They were a laugh a minute. If any of those folks were to read today’s post they would no doubt remove me from their fellowship that I used to call “The First Church Of Misery Loves Company But We Probably Won’t Love You”. 

Despite that risk of censure I press on. No baseball movie that I have seen comes closer to capturing the unique culture of baseball like Bull Durham. It has some rough language and sexual content (see previous sentence). So parents and good Christians should proceed with caution. The main characters are a young pitching phenom (Nook LaLoosh) and a nearly washed up but knowledgeable catcher (Crash Davis) that is brought in to mentor the prize prospect. One of my favorite scenes is when Crash teaches the young pitcher how to handle interviews with the press.

Crash Davis: “It’s time to work on your interviews.”
Nuke LaLoosh: “My interviews? What do I gotta do?”
Crash Davis: “You’re gonna have to learn your clichés. You’re gonna have to study them, you’re gonna have to know them. They’re your friends. Write this down: “We gotta play it one day at a time.”
Nuke LaLoosh: “Got to play… it’s pretty boring.”
Crash Davis: “Course it’s boring, that’s the point. Write it down.”

I have learned that the journey with Jesus is simply living it one day at a time. Write it down. You can’t live in regret of the past. It is forgiven. You can’t live in fear of the future. It is in God’s Hands. You live in the moment, one day at a time, trusting Him for that day. That’s the point. Play it one day at a time.

My friend John Weber passed away two years ago. He had a saying that I love.

“God didn’t call me to be spectacular. He called me to be faithful.”

Write it down.

Another quote from the movie Bull Durham had spiritual application for me.

“This is a very simple game. You throw the ball, you catch the ball, you hit the ball. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, sometimes it rains.”

In many ways Christianity is a very simple faith that we have made incredibly legalistic and difficult. To paraphrase the line above. “You love the Lord your God. You love your neighbor. Sometimes it is easy. sometimes it is hard. Sometimes life rains on you.” 

Why do I want to make it so maddeningly complex? Jesus said that two things are the most important.

One of the religion scholars came up. Hearing the lively exchanges of question and answer and seeing how sharp Jesus was in his answers, he put in his question: “Which is most important of all the commandments?”
Jesus said, “The first in importance is, ‘Listen, Israel: The Lord your God is one; so love the Lord God with all your passion and prayer and intelligence and energy.’ And here is the second: ‘Love others as well as you love yourself.’ There is no other commandment that ranks with these.”

Today I sit here and wonder why I ever tried to make it anything else? The scholar who heard the words of Jesus “got it”.

The religion scholar said, “A wonderful answer, Teacher! So lucid and accurate—that God is one and there is no other. And loving him with all passion and intelligence and energy, and loving others as well as you love yourself. Why, that’s better than all offerings and sacrifices put together!” (Mark 12, The Message)

I wonder how the body of Christ would look differently if we concentrated on those two simple commands? Would we worry so much about the worship music style and the vestibule carpet color? Why do we get so exorcised about what other Christians are doing and other people are saying? Why do we care so much about being treated fairly and getting what we deserve? If we concentrated on those two commands we would be so much happier and effective for Christ. We would experience and give grace.

But do I get it? Or do I still get sidetracked by life and pride and worries? It is really very simple. Love the Lord your God with all of your heart. Read the Word daily. Love others as you love yourself. That is what Jesus told me to do. Nothing about programs or positions or curriculum or strategies.

Love God. Love others.

Write it down.

A new movie is opening called Big Fan. It is about a guy who lives and dies with the New York Giants football team. I don’t think I was ever quite that extreme but I confess that I have taken my teams way too seriously over the years. My mood for the week was often dependent on how the Browns and Buckeyes did that past weekend. I have fantasized about my arrival at the Pearly Gates.

Saint Peter: Welcome Dave. Tell me about your sports teams.
Me: I am a fan of the Cleveland Browns, Texas Rangers and Baylor Bears football.
Saint Peter: Hey Job! We have one for your group!

The Rangers and Bears may be ending some of the suffering in the very near future but it has been a tough road. Recently another one of my teams has contributed to my malaise. The Ohio State Buckeyes have not been on a real good roll when it comes to big games. That is an understatement along the lines of Jon and Kate may have a few issues. The Buckeyes lost consecutive national championship games and got embarrassed last season against USC at the storied Coliseum. I was there with dear friend Ed (an USC fan) for the carnage. My main concern by the second half was for the health of the Trojans mascot horse Traveler. He gallops after every score and it was a hot evening in Los Angeles. I knew my Bucks were in deep trouble when I saw Traveler getting oxygen on the sidelines. The Ohio State cheerleaders decided to salvage something from the evening by getting their pictures taken with Denzel Washington.

This weekend the rematch with USC is going down in Columbus, Ohio. Some people are saying this game is a must win. As I get older I think there are fewer and fewer “must” wins. World War II was a must win. This is a football game. Some are saying the very reputation of the Big 10 is on the line. The blood pressure in the Buckeye state is at dangerous levels. Others are saying that the always opinionated Buckeye Nation will be calling for Jim Tresses firing if they lose again.

What I am about to write is pretty much a no-win for me. It will sound to some like rationalization. Others will think I have gone soft and need to watch a little Ricky Bobby from Talladega Nights and memorize his quote “If you ain’t first you’re last!”. I hope the truth is that life and some of the hard hits it doles out has given me perspective. On a recent plane ride home I read Coach Tressel’s book entitled The Winner’s Manual: For the Game of Life. (All of the proceeds from the book are being donated directly to the William Oxley Thompson Memorial Library Renovation Campaign)The book details what Coach Tressel teaches every player at Ohio State. It is a book full of wisdom and insight. Tressel addresses difficult issues like the national title losses and the demise of star running back Maurice Clarett. He is most poignant when he shares the impact of having a young man paralyzed in practice and another player shot and killed while he coached at Youngstown State.

Coach Tressel writes this in the forward of the book.

What does it really mean to be a winner? Are there certain qualities that winners inherently possess that make them natural difference makers?

How can you measure such a thing?

(This book) is my attempt not only to answer these questions but also to distill the heart of a nearly four-hundred-page handbook I have been handing out to my players on the first day of spring practice for more than twenty years.

We call it The Winners Manual—a personal playbook for success, filled with insights on what it takes to be a winner in the game of life from some of the greatest coaches, athletes, writers, thinkers, and leaders in the world. We developed it to help our athletes become the best players and people they can possibly be.

The principles in this book have been passed down to me from my father; from coaches I have had the privilege of knowing, working with, and competing against; and from hundreds of former players, who have taught me a great deal about success, adversity, winning and losing, hope, love—basically, the stuff of life.

I think you’ll find the information in this book is not so much about football as it is about life and what it really takes to succeed—physically, emotionally, spiritually, and professionally.

I read through these wonderful principles based on values that, sadly, many now consider old-fashioned. I thought of how fortunate these young men are to have this chance to learn how to succeed in every area of their life. Not all of them get it. Some are focused only on playing on Sundays. Some will get it later because of the seeds planted now. But I will say this before the big game at the Shoe. I am proud to have this man at the helm at Ohio State. No matter what happens with the final score I know that Coach Tressel is building young men that will make a difference when they are no longer can play football. I know that many other programs are doing that as well. And I know that some are not. Friends close to the OSU program tell me that Coach Tressel is genuine in how he lives out what he teaches and preaches.

Athletics have been used to teach spiritual principles since the beginning of Christianity.

Paul wrote these words to the church in Corinth.

Don’t you realize that in a race everyone runs, but only one person gets the prize? So run to win! All athletes are disciplined in their training. They do it to win a prize that will fade away, but we do it for an eternal prize. So I run with purpose in every step. I am not just shadowboxing. I discipline my body like an athlete, training it to do what it should. Otherwise, I fear that after preaching to others I myself might be disqualified. (I Cor 9, NLT)

Paul realized that you run to win but there is a bigger race to finish. Coach Tressel gets that even if some “big fans” do not. I am proud to be an Ohio State fan. I am proud of Coach Jim Tressel, his integrity and his steadfast faith in Christ. I am proud of the players who work so hard to represent the school. I hope they don’t worry what guys who can’t jump off the couch without pulling a muscle have to say. Run to win this weekend but never forget the real prize is eternal.

Today there were thirty-five obituaries in the Dallas Morning News. One of them was my friend. I am amazed at the number of incredible saints that God has brought into my life. Perhaps God knows that I desperately need their courageous examples. Becky Matthews was one of those saints that inspired me. She died Saturday night, September 5^th. The obituary accurately portrays her courage and attitude.

Her faith in Christ allowed her to persevere through a seventeen year battle with cancer, never complaining and always encouraging others.

Think about that. Seventeen years. I never heard her complain. I never heard her question her fate. She fought with courage and dignity until the fight was clearly lost. And then she simply accepted that she would go ahead and wait for the family reunion to come. I am so humbled by Becky’s example. I remember her smiling when I knew she was suffering. Encouraging when she was the one who could have expected encouragement. I can’t help but think that if the critics of faith saw more Becky Matthews they would be a bit less inclined to dismiss Christianity. The preachers on TV get the attention but it is the faithful servants like Becky that God uses in ways that she probably never imagined.

Another line in the obituary is necessarily understated.

She devoted her life to Christ, family, loving others and raising her children.

Becky Matthews fiercely loved her children and she did an amazing job. Perhaps the greatest legacy of her life is the values, faith and integrity that she instilled in her son Jason and her daughter Julie. A single Mom raising a son and daughter is never easy. The results speak to her devotion. They are her legacy.

I have a couple of songs that I go to at times like this. One such song is by the group Diamond Rio. The title is  “God Only Cries For The Living” and here is a bit of the lyric.

God only cries for the living,
‘Cause it’s the living that are left to carry on.

That is a hard truth. The living are left with the financial and legal affairs. Disposing of personal items that generate tearful memories. And the living are left in a place that Scripture tells us is only a temporary dwelling place. Paul writes about our “dual citizenship” in his letter to the Philippians.

For, as I have often told you before and now say again even with tears, many live as enemies of the cross of Christ. Their destiny is destruction, their god is their stomach, and their glory is in their shame. Their mind is on earthly things. But our citizenship is in heaven.

Everyone knows that we have a finite time on earth. I personally believe that there is more than just my fifty-six plus whatever years I have left here. So I must decide how to navigate how I live this life while being mindful of the next. There is a balance that is implied by the concept of dual citizenship. Becky believed these words in the Gospel of John.

“Don’t let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, and trust also in me. There is more than enough room in my Father’s home. If this were not so, would I have told you that I am going to prepare a place for you?  (John 14, NLT)

The song from Diamond Rio echoes the belief that Jesus has gone ahead to prepare a better place.

An’ all the angels up in Heaven,
They’re not grieving because they’re gone.
There’s a smile on their faces,
‘Cause they’re in a better place…

I believe that Becky Matthews is in a better place today. I love my life on this planet. I am not anxious to leave my family and friends. But I am not afraid. This lyric from the song by Diamond Rio portrays a powerful thought.

God only cries for the living,
‘Cause it’s the living that are so far from home.

That becomes more and more real to me as I get older. I have so many family and friends that have gone ahead to their eternal home. My Dad. My Mom. My daughter. My nephew. Countless friends. A new addition this weekend. I miss them so much. But I rejoice for them because I am  realizing more and more that I am the one who is so far from home. You won’t need to cry for me when I get there.

Today’s humble ramblings comes from the a song that was released when I was three years old. Fifty-three years after The Platters released the song the group appeared randomly on the trusty iPod during a morning stroll with dog friend Hannah. The song is written about a guy pretending to be happy when his love interest has left him. The lyrics to The Great Pretender led me to think again about one of my pet peeves in the churches of America. I get angry, frustrated and sad when followers of Jesus go to church and pretend to be something we know we are not.

That we are okay all of the time. I lived those lyrics out Sunday after Sunday for too many years.

Oh yes I’m the great pretender
Pretending I’m doing well
My need is such I pretend too much
I’m lonely but no one can tell

We go to a place where honesty should be encouraged. Where shortcomings ought to be accepted. Church should be the place where you can say without fear, “I am struggling, I hurt, I need help”. But for some reason the opposite happens far too often. Two people who are really in deep and desperate pain could have this conversation every single week in church.

“How are you doing?” (Insincere query…too busy to really care)
“Great, how are you?” (Dishonest reply…perfunctory courtesy return question)
“Fantastic…great to see you.” (Really dishonest reply…safe dismissal salutation)

Am I advocating dumping our woes on everyone we meet? Of course not. But my fear is that we have created a culture where we feel there is something wrong with us if we are hurting. If I am struggling I must be doing something wrong spiritually. Shouldn’t God meet this need? What is wrong with me? The fact that God created us with a desire to be in community tells me that part of His plan for us is being helped by other members of the body of Christ. We must be willing to trust someone with who we really are for this plan to work as God intended. That cannot happen until we know that the body of Christ is a safe place to let others know what is really going on. Instead we seem to settle for something far less than God has in mind for us.

We are angry, sad and lonely during the week and even on the way to church. When our church friends are not watching we are wailing about others, gossiping and even mean. As soon as we walk in the church door we are smiling like the homecoming queen during the parade. Just like the lyrics from the song, we become the great pretenders. We are not fooling anyone. 

Adrift in a world of my own
I play the game but to my real shame
You’ve left me to dream all alone

The difference between the love story from the lyrics and the love story that Jesus wrote on the Cross is significant. In the love song that Jesus wrote He will never leave you to dream or face life all alone. Remember the big final project Jesus assigned before He left?

“Therefore, go and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Teach these new disciples to obey all the commands I have given you.”

Pretty daunting little assignment. But I tend to forget the next words.

“And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age.”

Jesus aches to come along side me and you and help me deal with the junk in my life. His agenda is for me to stop pretending and be real with Him and with one another. And Jesus has promised to be with me each stumbling step of the way. When a Dad is teaching his toddler to walk he is patient and encouraging. When the tyke wobbles and falls a loving father doesn’t start screaming at his child.

“There you go again! You can’t walk three bleepin’ steps before you tumble over again. You are hopeless. You will never get this walking thing down. Why am I wasting my time?”

Hardly. The Dad encourages and applauds the effort. He lifts the child back up and exhorts him to try again. He is beaming with each step and not at all angry when the child falls. That is how I view Jesus with my spiritual walk when I understand His grace. He is thrilled with each spiritual step and is encouraging and lifting me up without condemnation when I stumble. When I am pretending and not trusting then that grace is not realized.

Too real is this feeling of make believe
Too real when I feel what my heart can’t conceal

How many times I have felt like that? I am a fake. If my walk right now was exposed I would be excommunicated from the faith. I am so dry that any spark sets my anger and emotions aflame. But do I confess that? Dare I confess that?

Satan would have us believe that we would be rejected if we dared to let other see the truth behind the person. Perhaps some would reject me because they are pretending so much that they can’t see the need to be authentic in this journey. But I want to be willing to take a chance to be real. I want to simply be honest and see where that takes me. I can’t find that authenticity with a painted grin and phony reply.

Can we trust Jesus enough to stop pretending? Can we trust him enough to be authentic? Not needy and demanding. Just honest and real. There is so much more available to us in the body of Christ if we can stop the charades. Want some more homework? Look up the “one another” verses in the Bible. Here is an example from Hebrews (10:24–35).

And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching. 

I don’t want to pretend anymore.

 

I am afraid I need to polish up my descriptive words in order to compete in this world. If I describe myself (accurately) as Christian and conservative I find that I am immediately stereotyped and dismissed by the free-thinkers and progressives. See how much cooler their words are? Because I have chosen to follow Christ and believe in God I can’t possible be a free-thinker. And since I have conservative values I am not progressive. Bummer. But I am prepared to struggle through with my cro-magnon worldview.

The topic was revived this week by a story in the Dallas Morning News. A camp for agnostic kids recently wrapped up in the Dallas area. The parents described a place where clear thinking and good questions can be encouraged. While they may be free-thinkers I fear they are not always clear thinkers. For example, one high school student had kept his atheism a secret because his fellow students would likely avoid him if they knew. But he gave his full name in the story. Hmmmm. Perhaps the flat-earth believing Christians don’t read the paper.

I wondered what goes on at agnostic camp. Do they sing camp songs like we did at church camp?

Kumbaya, pretty sure there is no Lord, Kumbaya… Just doesn’t have the same flow.

And what do they say when a camper sneezes? Inquiring minds want to know. One comment from a parent left me dumbfounded. “As a parent, I would be disappointed if Joseph became the next Billy Graham. But if he truly felt that was his calling, I would love him just the same and be happy for him.”

Can you believe that heartbreak? “We tried so hard but he became a man of integrity and faith that loves his wife and is loved by millions. Where did we go wrong? Still…he is our son so we love him anyway.”

A couple of items in the story made me sad.

“Another boy, 14, whose stepfather requested his anonymity, started home-schooling this year after enduring years of bullying for his open atheism.”

I am truly sorry when I hear reports like that. That should never happen and Christian parents should have that discussion with their children. Perhaps the saddest comment for me came from a student who doesn’t believe in heaven. His desire is to be put in the ocean when he dies “so fish will turn my body into a reef – so I can have a purpose.”

I believe with all of my being that there is an eternal purpose to this life beyond becoming fish food or fertilizer. But to anyone reading this who has no faith at all I must confess my dilemma to you. If I truly believe this to be the truth and if my faith in Christ has genuinely changed my life then how can I not tell you? Why should you be offended if I care enough to reach out gently and in love.

Michael Kinsley wrote in Time magazine about the anger that some folks feel toward Christians who seem compelled to share their faith. 

 “You may not agree that your soul needs saving, but why is he wrong to try as long as he isn’t prying away your soul against your will? As an ethnically Jewish nonbeliever, I find this fuss over conversion utterly baffling…But an insult? In a way, it is insulting to Jews that Fundamentalist Christians don’t try harder to convert us. Oh sure, they’re friendly enough now. But wait until Judgment Day. Then it will be, `Sorry, we seem to have lost your reservation.’ And from this perspective, the Jewish policy of actively discouraging converts to Judaism starts to seem like `theological arrogance’ indeed. At the same time, when you object to noncoercive conversion, it starts to look like the opposite of arrogance: theological insecurity. What are you afraid of? The decision will be made by you or by God, and in either case, there is no ground for complaint.”

I suspect that technique is too often the rub. I was a victim of over the top zealous religious people as a teenager. I am still a little amazed that I eventually came to faith. Kinsley said you have the right to simply say no.

If I care about you I will naturally want to share the most important thing in my life. But I think you have some other rights as the hearer of my message. I wrote the following in my book, When Bad Christians Happen to Good People.

The Unbelievers Bill of Rights…

• I have the right to never have faith forced on me.
• I have the right to never be treated in a condescending manner.
• I have the right to always hear the truth.
• I have the right for you to patiently hear my concerns and doubts.
• I have the right to seek answers to those questions and doubts that you can’t answer.
• I have the right to be steered to resources for my own study and investigation.
• I have the right to be loved no matter how I respond to the Gospel message.

I hope that I honor you by following the list above. I hope you will understand that my wanting to let you know about the most important thing in my life honors you as well. I pray most of all that I will faithfully follow these words of Jesus.

“Let me give you a new command: Love one another. In the same way I loved you, you love one another. This is how everyone will recognize that you are my disciples—when they see the love you have for each other.”