Month: August 2010

In a recent post I described the healing power of a room of grace. In that room you find acceptance instead of rejection. Understanding instead of judgment. Sadly such a place of God’s grace seems more the exception than the norm and that was communicated in this thoughtful response from a reader.

But where do we find that room of grace, where we are accepted, where people run to us in acceptance, instead of running from us for being broken? Too many in the churches are broken-hearted themselves, are facing terrible situations they don’t know how to cope with. Most don’t seem to even know we are in a battle with Satan to discourage us so much that we don’t know how to seek God with faith. Those who CAN’T attend church are mostly forgotten or invisible. (I’m not even speaking of those who don’t want to go.)

That honest and heartfelt lament made my heart sad. Where do you find a room of grace is a fair question. The voice of discouragement immediately started in my head. Your message of grace and healing can’t happen in the church. Your pipe dream just discouraged a struggling believer. A room of grace is about as likely as a gumdrop forest. Who are you kidding?

My friend Bruce McNicol says that his challenge is trying to prescribe a cure to a church that doesn’t know it is sick. We do have a landscape littered with broken, discouraged and tired sojourners. Imagine people with all degrees of illness and injury going to a hospital emergency room. When they check in every person reports that they are “fine”. None of the staff knows what symptoms the patients are concerned about. The doctor shows up, gives a stirring talk and sends all the sick and injured on their way to “get over it”. That is how too many churches have evolved. Rooms of grace are hard to find. I sadly acknowledge that fact and perhaps it is because such a room is scary. A room of grace takes authenticity, humility, surrender and trust to let down your guard and live out of grace. We have labored under the same performance based checklists for so long that we don’t even know our spiritual health is declining.

Weekly study (Check)
Committee meeting (Check)
Wednesday church, Sunday School, Worship Service, Sunday night Meeting (Check)
Joy
Freedom
Forgiveness

I would submit that the unchecked items are the ones that God cares about most. The other good things are so much better when they flow out of grace that creates a willing heart of obedience.

The note continued.

It’s all very well to speak of “doing things” for others, yes, oh it’s so needed. But some of us can’t do much for others. I acknowledge my dependence on God! I’m not able to take my body for granted, as most people do. I’m not able to sort out the confusion of mind, as some people seem to do.

I don’t know what physical challenges you might be dealing with in your life. But may I make one thing perfectly clear? If you perceived any performance pressure from my writings to “do things” for others then I have failed to communicate well. Those people who seem to be able to “sort out” and “figure out” their confusion are often living a lie. They are likely as confused and vulnerable as the rest of us but they just cover it up with more activities and shinier veneers. The entry point to the room of grace is humility. Being in control and self-efforting righteousness will not open that door. The note concluded with these thoughts.

But my prayers are that God himself will intervene, sending himself — his own dear Son, his Holy Spirit — to comfort and cheer and stir up and let the discouraged know how much he loves all of us, and empower us to be His alone. Oh, how I wish there were those who would model the life you describe — of caring enough to show others (including me) Jesus’ care and concern, his cleansing and life-giving power. Oh, how I wish I could minister to others the same way: but the “hows” escape me in my ill and tired body. I’m so thankful, however, that at least some of the time I am able to hold on to the idea that His strength is perfected in my weakness.

There are many followers of Christ who are modeling the life I have described. But may I suggest they are not “trying” to do anything other than live out of the truths of who they are in Christ. That is when their offering of obedience is truly pleasing to God. Just like Abel, our response to God pleases Him when it is out of faith and not begrudging obligation. I quit trying to do ministry and my ministry exploded. I quit trying to change people and God somehow started using me in the lives of others. I quit trying to be significant and I found significance. God’s plan at times seems like the Bizarro World comics I used to read. Everything seems to the opposite of what human nature demands. You are exalted in humility. What? Your heart is more important than your works. Really? Your forgiveness is a gift with no fine print. No way. You can’t do anything to make God love you more. Seriously? It is all so counterintuitive to our cultural instincts.

I would suggest just a few things to consider.

God knows your heart to minister to others. But for now allow Him to minister to you. Let the Holy Spirit comfort you. Let God love you. Ask Him to fill you with His love and for opportunities to love others. Trust God for that happen. He will do it in His time. Remember who you are every day. You are a saint. You are righteous because of Christ and what He did on the Cross. You are adored and precious to Abba Father. When you are tired and ill you have a Redeemer who understands. He experienced tiredness and pain and betrayal. Those closest to Jesus slept through his agony in the Garden of Gethsemene, denied Him in the public square and hid from the authorities after His death. After the resurrection Jesus went straight to those who left Him with a message of love, hope, forgiveness and grace. Relax in Jesus. Maybe you will be the one who constructs a room of grace in your community. Maybe God will lead you to one. Your humility and heart tell me you are ready and willing. Let Him do the rest.

(The latest iPod Devotional. Check it every Monday at theFish.com)

One of my failed career bits was as a disc jockey at 1000 watt powerhouse WCHI in Chillicothe, Ohio. This was back in the days of turntables and actual vinyl records. I got to pick my own playlist that was mainly Top-40 pop. Unfortunately my playlist was often influenced by my emotional state. I didn’t even realize I was doing that until a friend pointed out that I had played a whole set of depressing, losing at love songs on that day. So I would play B.J.Thomas singing “Another Somebody Done Somebody Wrong Song” followed by “How Can You Mend A Broken Heart” from the Bee Gees followed by “She’s Gone” by Hall and Oates. I might as well have gone to commercial with “I’ll be jumping off the broadcast tower right after this”.  Not sure the sponsors (except maybe beer and counseling centers) wanted me to be an electronic downer to the county. That would be sung to Glen Campbell’s song…

♫ I am a downer to the county…and I play the sad songs. Pickin’ tunes to wallow in her wrongs…♪

Another one of my go to songs to bring the listeners down was a song by Irish singer Gilbert O’Sullivan. Alone Again Naturally reached the top of the charts for several weeks and the tune popped up on the iPod recently. He sings about how life is good and full of promise and then everything changes. That would be called life.

But as if to knock me down
Reality came around
And without so much as a mere touch
Cut me into little pieces

Leaving me to doubt
Talk about God in His mercy
Who if He really does exist
Why did He desert me?

In my hour of need
I truly am indeed
Alone again, naturally

That lyric reflects the struggle of many former believers and struggling believers around us. Several people who are dear to me are going through deep valleys of heartache right now. They sometimes feel deserted and may wonder if God is there. This walk of faith was designed to be lived out in community. I think that is why so many struggle so mightily because we (as a body of believers) lean toward programs more easily than toward authentic community. Community is messy and hard and painful and incredibly fulfilling. My friends at Truefaced.com describe that place of healing as the Room of Grace and I have yet to find a better descriptor of a place where God’s love is demonstrated to wounded sojourners. In the Room of Grace your problems, weirdness, neediness, and weakness does not result in judgment but in acceptance. In that room you can trust God and others with the truth about you and not be pushed away. Fellow inhabitants of the room run toward you when you hurt and not away. That place exists but there are not nearly enough rooms of grace. And if more such rooms constructed the body of Christ would be a much healthier organism.

It seems to me that there are more hearts
Broken in the world that can’t be mended
Left unattended
What do we do? What do we do?

What do we do? If I might be indelicate I suggest that we cut the crap and acknowledge our dependence on Christ to live this journey out. No heroic self-effort on my part makes me a better Christian. It is all because of Christ. That flies in the face of the American values of being self-made and independent. As a Christian I must surrender self and be dependent to be used by God. I would suggest that we drop the pretense of “victory” over sin and the lie that a particular flavor of faith will result in prosperity, health and green lights during every road trip. That is not the Gospel. I would suggest that we get real about our struggles and let others know that their struggle is also ours. I would suggest that you pray for friends and family but also listen to the quiet voice of the Holy Spirit as to how you can serve them. When a loved one comes to mind send them a note, call them, drop a card and take the time see how they are doing. Too many in the church feel unattended because we, His arms to the flock, are not reaching out. Walking with those who are struggling is draining. It can be ugly. There is no guarantee of success. But can I encourage you with this lesson learned? There is nothing more exciting that realizing that God has somehow divinely used your stumbling efforts in the life of one of His children. Nothing will make you worship more than seeing how God uses a humble and trusting heart far more effectively than a slick and convincing tongue.

Paul wrote these words to the Church at Philippi.

Is there any encouragement from belonging to Christ? Any comfort from his love? Any fellowship together in the Spirit? Are your hearts tender and compassionate? Then make me truly happy by agreeing wholeheartedly with each other, loving one another, and working together with one mind and purpose. Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too. (Philippians 2, NLT)

I see a grace revival stirring and we need it desperately. Because in a room of grace the broken hearts will not be left unattended. Pray for more rooms of His grace.

This has been a tough stretch in our little television freelance community. We are an odd lot of characters who bring sporting events and live television into your homes. I often say that we are basically like carnies except with fewer tatoos (although that gap is narrowing). We go into a town, set up the show, perform, tear down the show and go on to the next town. But one of the things I love about this business is the sense of family and community that we develop. So hearts are heavy in our world with the passing of two wonderful members of our television family. We have a lot of good guys in our business. But two of the best died just days apart. Cancer claimed our friend Jay Hamlin and a massive heart attack took our friend Tom Cox.

When I remember old friends the first thing I generally think of is their smile. Jay’s smile was mischievous. Tom’s was broad and welcoming. Both men were kind, loyal and good. Is there a better compliment for a friend?

King Solomon wrote in Ecclesiastes that “no man knows when his hour will come”. Jay knew that the cancer had reduced his years to months and days. He chose to remain silent about his disease and we did not know until his life was nearly over. Tom left his bride Gina to go to Wisconsin to work the PGA Championship. Tom had no idea that his hour had come. Yet both of my friends lived full and meaningful lives. They treated friends and employees with courtesy and respect. They loved their families dearly. They lived and loved well.

Professor Randy Pausch had the foreknowledge that he would die and he delivered a last lecture at Carnegie Mellon that became a YouTube sensation and best selling book. Pausch’s response to a terrible disease was remarkable. Here is just one little tidbit from the book and lecture.

“We can’t change the cards we’re dealt, just how we play the hand. If I’m not as depressed as you think I should be, I’m sorry to disappoint you.”

This recent reminder of mortality is sobering. I read the obituaries everyday and it often makes me sad to see a life with nothing of value to report. Some obits are not much more than “Fred was a carbon based life form for 67 years”. My friends Jay and Tom had full and rich lives with scores of good friends and people who loved them. I wrote a piece about what my last “lecture” might be if I knew my hour was near. I find that a lot of items on my list were modeled well by my recently departed friends.

Love your wife.

Most of us repeated something like this on our wedding day.

I, (Guy in Hideous Tux), take you (What Were You Thinking Beautiful Bride), to be my wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.

One of my last messages to young men and women would be to take those vows seriously. The word cherish is a word that guys don’t use much but it is one we should look up and learn the meaning. Dictionary.com defines it simply. To treat with affection and tenderness; hold dear. I wish I had cherished my wife more consistently over the years. I do plan to finish strong.

Love your children.

I would tell parents to love their children for who they are and not what you had hoped to produce. Affirm them with love for who they actually are and the gifts God gave them. I hate disingenuous praise. Every child is gifted in some areas and not so much in others. Tell them how they are special. Tell them when you are proud of them. Tell them you love them. Let them be kids now and then. Let them get dirty and break things once in a while. It’s okay. They are kids. It is no reflection on you that they are not perfect.

Love your friends.

I would want my last message to encourage people to make friends and not just acquaintances. When I see people who don’t have a good friend I feel really sad for them. A person with good friends is never poor. Solomon knew that a real friend loves you no matter what happens. He wrote these words in Proverbs. There are “friends” who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother.

Love your life.

Sure life is hard. For some life is really hard. But we do have a choice in how we play the cards dealt to us. Read stories about those who play their difficult life cards well. And pray for the strength to choose that strategy.

Love to laugh.

Everyone who knows me at all knows that I love to laugh and enjoy my time on the planet. I have adopted the philosophy that if an embarrassing moment is going to be funny in a year you might as well start laughing today. Learn to laugh at yourself. Laugh with your spouse and your kids and your friends. Laugh often and long.

Love to serve and give.

The happiest people I know are those who give their lives away. It is so counter-intuitive to the messages we are bombarded with every day. I would probably work in a little bit from Philippians 2, Colossians 3 and Romans 12.

Love grace.

I probably wouldn’t go off and die without putting in a plug for my guys at TrueFaced. Their practical theology of grace changed my understanding and God used them to change my life. Here is a sample.  In the room of grace,  we grow up and mature into something that is already true about us: (we are) godly. God is not interested in changing the Christian. He already has…God wants us to believe that He has already changed us so that He can get on with the process of maturing us.

Love today.

I think Satan’s strategy is devastating simple and effective. Cause us to live in regret of the past and fear of the future and that will rob us of the joy of today. Find something to love in each day. It could be the day before your life summary in the obituaries. Who knows?

Love learning.

I had some bad teaching in my early journey with Jesus but I have never stopped learning and pursuing the truth and what it means to be a disciple of Christ. I love to learn. About God, about life, about everything.

Love Jesus.

I talked to a friend of mine whose son just returned from a youth mission trip to Costa Rica. His main takeway was this observation.

“Dad, they aren’t like Christians in American. They really love Jesus.” I know that many people really love Jesus in this country. But what he saw was unashamed, authentic and complete devotion to Christ. It is often too easy not to live that life in this blessed land. Really love Jesus. Most of us are content with a Savior. Jesus wants to be Lord in our lives. The difference is profound in how we travel our Christian journey. Learn who you are in Christ. Forgiven. A saint with no condemnation who is adored by God. Trust Jesus to be Lord. God is trustworthy. That is true and I have experienced it. I think that would be the last point of my last message. 

Today I remember my friends fondly. I know their families will miss them terribly. But I hope they take a lot of comfort in how loved and respected these men were in our television freelance family. Rest in peace my friends. You made a difference and you leave a legacy.

I have not written much about the church plant that Joni and I were a little part of six years ago. We had prayed and discussed with Nelson and Suzie Tull and Don and Cindy Moore a crazy idea to start a new church in the Wylie, Texas area. We hoped to start a small gathering of committed couples to begin that dream. That plan lasted about a week. Word got out and on a hot August night (Neil Diamond no-showed) nearly one-hundred folks crammed into our home in Garland to hear about the new vision and to prove that they could out body heat our desperate air conditioners. That session led to a temporary meeting spot at a Dallas business (ironically next to a “gentleman’s club”) and then to an elementary school in Wylie.

Along the way fifty of those folks journeyed to Nashville on an epic bus trip to see how another church had started from scratch. At Fellowship Bible Church in Nashville we heard sobering and inspiring advice. One thing stuck in my mind and I think about it often. They told us that the original group who begins the process are the pioneers. They take the risk and forge ahead. They endure hardship and discomfort. And someday when the new building is in place the “settlers” will enjoy the ministry and they will give no thought to the pioneers who sacrificed to provide that comfortable place.

This Sunday the fruit of that hot August night gathering will enter a new phase. Waterbook Bible Fellowship will break ground in Wylie on a new building. It will be a special day of great joy and anticipation. Pastor Jeff Denton has encouraged everyone to bring a shovel, spade, spoon or whatever you can use to pierce the baked turf. He is asking everyone to line the perimeter to break ground because we are doing this as a family. And he is right about that. 

But I am thinking today about the pioneers who began with us. The Free Online dictionary defines pioneers as those who open up (an area) or prepare (a way). Many of our pioneers did not make it to this moment when the way is almost prepared for the “settlers” to come in. Some moved away. Some thought the location was too far away. Some are now with Jesus. Some did not agree with the ministry emphasis or direction and felt that they had to leave. Some grew weary of the temporary feel of church in a school auditorium. Some wanted the programs that you need a building to provide. There have been moments of great joy and moments of real struggle. Being a pioneer is hard.

When the building opens in a few months I will still be thinking about the pioneers who made (and make) it possible. Everyone who contributed along the way with financial help. Thank you. For those who sacrificed their time and expertise. Thank you. For those who ministered and cared through easy and hard times. Thank you. For those of you who helped set up and then tear down church every single week. Thank you. For those who hung in when the going got tough. Thank you. I wish that everyone who started that night in Garland could be there when the new building debuts. That is not how life works. I do hope that everyone who had a part in the pioneer process is blessed by what God is doing thanks to their combined efforts. That is how the body of Christ works. Every act of obedience is important. I am not sure how God will dole out rewards but I bet I will be surprised. Maybe, just maybe, there will be a little extra reward for some of those pioneers for helping start a new place of ministry on a hot August night six years ago. And I pray that as the “settlers” from Wylie and surrounding areas who will visit this sparkling new place will find a church that trusts God in His infinite grace to model the church that Paul described in Colossae.

Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful.

Let the message about Christ, in all its richness, fill your lives. Teach and counsel each other with all the wisdom he gives. Sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs to God with thankful hearts. And whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through him to God the Father. (Colossians 3, NLT)

And I pray that the sacrifices of the pioneers will never be forgotten.

One of my favorite comedians is Brian Regan. He is off the charts funny and his material is family friendly. Written excerpts don’t begin to do justice to his delivery of the material but here is just a bit of one routine.

Regan laments about how he often speaks without thinking and uses phrases incorrectly. Like the phrase “you too”.

I’m just trying to go through life without looking stupid. It’s not working out too well. Sometimes you’ll say the right thing but at the wrong time and feel stupid. Something like: “You, too!” I was getting out of a cab at the airport and the driver goes, “Hey…Have a nice flight!”

“You, too! You, too, you have a nice flight, too…in case you ever fly someday.” Don’t anybody look at me; I’m a moron. Don’t know when to say the “you, too” phrase. I can’t handle it. – Brian Regan

But the “you too” phrase can be a blessing when you realize that others are going through the same trials, struggles and temptations that you are experiencing. I remember sharing with another couple about my big time Christian author/blogger decision to react to something my wife said by becoming hidden and childish. I share this at the risk of disappointing my tens of readers but I became sullen and hid in my man cave for a couple of days before realizing my sin and asking forgiveness. The other couple was astonished. “You too? We thought only we had issues like that! We thought you guys were beyond that.” Apart from their incredible overestimation of my maturity the message was simple. We tend to think our sin issues are particularly heinous and disgusting to Jesus. C.S.Lewis had an observation on the “you too” phenomenon.  “Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: “What! You too? I thought I was the only one.”

One of the most effective shame arrows in the quiver of the enemy is to stick the doubt in your heart that you are alone in your failure to trust God. Satan would love for believers to think they are the only ones experiencing fear, frustration and loneliness. That your sin is especially vile and that you are uniquely disappointing to God. That if you were a better Christian you wouldn’t be experiencing any of this. There is a reason that the enemy gets the unflattering title of the father of lies from Jesus.

He has always hated the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, it is consistent with his character; for he is a liar and the father of lies. (John 8, NLT)

Satan would have you believe that you are unworthy of any relationship with the Father. But the truth is that is not who you are if you are a Christian. For too many years I believed the accusations. I am learning to look into the mirror and see a saint. That’s right. Many (maybe most) of Satan’s accusations about my struggles are true. But what I now see is a man who is a saint. I accept that truth by faith and not by my performance. I found twenty-nine references to the “saints” in Paul’s writings. I am pretty sure from the content of his writings that they were not always behaving like saints. They were saints because of their new identity and not by meticulously and perfectly following the law.

God sees those who trust Jesus as holy. No matter how many accusations are thrown at me God sees me as holy because of His Son. Amazing.

All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly realms because we are united with Christ. Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes.  God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. (Ephesians 1, NLT)

That is my (and your) identity. Holy and without fault in His eyes. I will be accused again and probably sooner than later. But I am learning to simply say this to myself.

“That is not who I am anymore. I have a new identity. I am a saint who sometimes sins. I am holy because of Christ.”

And by the way, for my fellow followers of Christ, you too.

(This is the latest iPod Devotional that appears each Monday at theFish.com)

One of my peers recently noted that “getting old is not for sissies”. Indeed. Even if you escape personal difficulties you will undoubtedly have family and friends who are going through physical, emotional and spiritual trials. One of the songs that I default to when I am walking through valleys with others is from singer/composer Rich Mullins. The song is from his CD called Songs and it is simply titled “Hold Me Jesus”.

Well, sometimes my life
Just don’t make sense at all
When the mountains look so big
And my faith just seems so small

Right now I am in a pretty good place in my life and journey with Jesus. But then I started thinking about the many friends and loved ones who could relate completely to those lyrics in their current situation. And I can certainly remember seasons of my life when those words accurately reflected the condition of my soul.

And I wake up in the night and feel the dark
It’s so hot inside my soul
I swear there must be blisters on my heart

And I remember how I used to respond. I would deduce it was my fault and I would decide that I had to do something to bolster my faith. I had to read more verses or do a study or pray more or believe more. But the answer was far more simple and the chorus by Rich Mullins nails it.

So hold me Jesus, ’cause I’m shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
Won’t You be my Prince of Peace

I need to quit flailing and trying so darn hard to be righteous. Hold me Jesus. Won’t you be my Prince of Peace? I have started praying a prayer that is simple and profound.

“God…would you love me today?”

And He does. But I remember how I used to think that I had to “do stuff” for God to earn His favor and receive His love and peace. For those of us “doers” who absolutely must do something my friend John Lynch outlines three things that God says you can do from his outstanding Romans messages.

1. Believe me and trust my life in you
2. Let me draw close to you and love you
3. Let me love others through you.

That’s it. I have made it so stinkin’ complicated and religious for so many years. When I do those 3 things I find myself humbled. I worship. Those actions cause me to submit, sin less and want to obey from my heart. Commitment comes out of gratitude and not teeth gritting compliance.

Why did I fight this amazing grace and His unconditional love. Rich Mullins nails that too.

Surrender don’t come natural to me
I’d rather fight You for something
I don’t really want
Than to take what You give that I need
And I’ve beat my head against so many walls
Now I’m falling down, I’m falling on my knees

That was me. Hanging on to the familiar malaise of self-effort instead of surrendering and accepting grace and freedom. Rich Mullins is now with the King of glory and the Prince of Peace but his ministry continues around the world and around the park today. Next time you are flailing and striving to please God why not try that little prayer.

“God…would you love me today?”

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”  (Matthew 11, The Message)