Month: June 2011

(From theFish.com)

A song by Joy Williams popped on the iPod shuffle rotation and is this week’s iPod Devotional. The lyrics resonated after reading a story about a dating service for “beautiful” people. In a press release that seemed to be designed to generate moral outrage and (surprise) free publicity the company announced that 30,000 “ugly” people were being removed from the site. A hacker’s virus had allowed unattractive people to get through the screening process. So I had a chance? These poor souls could access counseling to deal with not being beautiful enough to make the cut. I would suggest that you might need counseling if you even applied to this site and not if you are drummed off of Narcissism Island.

I am not listing the name of the site because I suspect this is a publicity ruse. But the business of dating sites for attractive people only is real. Most of us deal with appearance issues at some point. I wish I had more muscle definition. Correction. I wish I had some muscle definition. I have dealt with other self-esteem issues. I regret that I don’t have a better academic resume. I wish I had finished college. But more and more I am understanding that none of those appearance or resume issues define who I am. The song “We” reminds me that all of us have issues to work through.

She’s independent and beautiful
Wish I could be like her

She’s got the girls and the boys
So wrapped around her finger

Rumor is she’s some kind of dream
Nobody knows she cries herself to sleep

I wrote a couple of years ago about the tragic lives of so many Playboy centerfold models. A disproportionate number of women who have posed in Playboy magazine have died tragically before the age of 50. Automobile accidents, drug overdoses, homicides, a plane crash — all have claimed the lives of Playmates. What caught my eye was a comment from a photographer for the magazine.

“It’s sad how many girls we’ve lost,” said Peter Gowland, who photographed a number of centerfolds for Playboy in the 1950s and 60s. “It’s a curse to be beautiful,” Gowland said.

No, Mr. Gowland, it is a gift to be beautiful. The curse is young women being exploited for their beauty by self-centered men. The curse is believing that your significance and value is found in being an object of lust for selfish men. The curse is sin. It is a curse to define yourself only by a temporal asset. You were created to be in fellowship with your Creator. Any other pursuit is, to quote the wise king, folly.

Joy William’s song continues.

He’s on the top of the social scene
He’s stylish cool and clever

He’s got a cool attitude that screams
He’s got it all together
You’d think he’s addicted to himself
But he wishes he could be someone else

The chorus reveals the truth.

We are not that different from each other
We just want somebody to discover
Who we really are when we drop our guard

We want to be known. We want to be loved even when the unlovable sides of us are known. That cannot be found at a dating site for pretty people. That, in my experience, is found in relationships of trust in a community of grace. That happens when Christians realize who they are because of their relationship with Christ. More and more I believe that so much sadness in the Christian community is because we center our identity on something other than Christ.

I have been mulling over some seriously head and heart messing stuff  from Tim Keller. Keller wrote a thought provoking definition of idolatry and how we can substitute even good things for God.

“Sin is building your life and meaning on anything, even a very good thing, more than on God. Whatever we build our life on will drive us and enslave us. Sin is primarily idolatry.” (Tim Keller, “Talking About Idolatry in a Postmodern Age,” www.thegospelcoalition.org)

That is disturbing for a guy who was taught from childhood that sin is a list that included but was not limited to movies, liquor, cigarettes, dancing, long hair and rock and roll. Tim Keller’s definition of sin takes all of the fun out of self-righteous comparison and judging.

Paul wrote these words to the Church at Colossae on the topic of idolatry.

“Don’t be greedy, for a greedy person is an idolater, worshiping the things of this world.” (Colossians 3, NLT)

It is a hard truth to admit that we often worship the things of this world because they really can be good things. God in His loving grace does not desire for us to be deprived of good and pleasurable things. He simply wants us to place them in proper order. Later in the passage Paul gives one key to avoiding idolatry.

Put on your new nature, and be renewedas you learn to know your Creator and become like Him. In this new life, it doesn’t matter if you are a Jew or a Gentile, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbaric, uncivilized, slave, or free. Christ is all that matters, and He lives in all of us.(Colossians 3:10-11, NLT…take a moment to read verses 12-17 to see what the results of this action might look like)

That is the missing ingredient for so many followers of Christ. They forget who they are. They forget they have a new nature. They forget they are cherished and forgiven by God. They forget they are saints. Living out of those truths is were beauty comes from. You can have your Botox.

Every dad leaves a legacy. I have learned a few things through trial and many errors about being a dad who is trying to leave a positive legacy. Previous installments detailed two ways to leave a good legacy.

1. Love Your Wife
2. Affirm Your Kids

Today we will examine two more ways to establish a positive legacy. And we are adding a very dangerous twist today. I polled my three sons about my strengths and (gasp) shortcomings as their father. Those knee-buckling results were both sobering and encouraging.

First, the third way to leave a positive legacy as a dad.

3.  Enjoy every mile of the journey

The best description I have heard about being a parent is this bit of wisdom:  “Parenting…the days are long and the years are short.”

In his book, Being a Good Dad When You Didn’t Have One, Tim Wesemann gives his readers a two-word piece of advice: “Lighten up!”  He says that adults laugh an average of 15 times a day while children laugh 400 more times. “Sometime between childhood and adulthood, we lose 385 laughs a day! That’s a great loss!” Wesemann says.  “Maybe we need not only the faith of a child but the funny bone of one as well.”

I agree. One of my favorite moments happened on a family trip. Brett is several years younger than his siblings. I was addressing his older brothers’ behavior when I snapped at the boys and said in my best dad voice, “You are acting like children.” Brett was only five, and he thought I was including him in the accusation. He pondered the comment and then said, “But I am a children.” The laughter from the backseat derailed my dad authority and it definitely lightened the moment. The family that can laugh together has a huge advantage in the journey.

The Psalmist wrote these words:  “Behold, children are a gift of the Lord; the fruit of the womb is a reward.” Sometimes it is hard to remember what a blessing those little ones are when they are holding their breath at Wal-Mart. I encourage parents to enjoy every phase of their children’s journey. And I learned that what your children take away as favorite memories may be surprising. One of the questions I asked my sons was their favorite memories of time with me. I expected that they would remember the big trips we took together or some expensive outing. I was humbled by their responses.

Firstborn son Matt:   “My favorite memories are throwing the baseball/football in the front yard of our Pecan Valley house, going to baseball games and growing up around sports.”

Second born son Scott:   “Playing catch in the backyard for hours on end, even when your knees hurt.  Going to cut down Christmas Trees every November and stopping at the Dairy Queen on the way home.”

Youngest son Brett:   “You coaching my sports teams and going to cut down the Christmas tree.”

It was the little things that counted for them. The memories that really mattered to them were things that cost me only time. Each one of the boys felt valued when they felt I had sacrificed or made a special effort to spend time with them. I thought the big things mattered the most but I was wrong.

4. Be a Role Model

The fourth way to leave a positive legacy is to model what you are teaching. Here is a powerful quote from Clarence Budington Kelland:  “My father didn’t tell me how to live; he lived, and he let me watch him do it.” Wow. I have seen that prove out in my own life. I can tell you exactly what my father modeled for me,  but I would have a hard time remembering any of his lectures. I believe that is an overlooked component of the wisdom expressed in Proverbs:  “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” That training should include being a role model and then the verbal training will sink in. Being an authentic role model makes the message effective.

You are a role model for your children, like it or not. Your children will, to one degree or another, model their lives after you. You have inherited some of your father’s characteristics and your children are inheriting some of yours.

Brett wrote in his responses,  “you are my biggest influence for everything.”  Scary. Whether you know it or not (or mean to or not), you are influencing the lives of your children and your children’s children.

You ARE a role model and every dad needs to reflect on that responsibility.

In Deuteronomy we find a great bit of advice for dads:  “Just make sure you stay alert. Keep close watch over yourselves. Don’t forget anything of what you’ve seen. Don’t let your heart wander off. Stay vigilant as long as you live. Teach what you’ve seen and heard to your children and grandchildren.”

You are preparing your children to leave home. That is your job as parents. Someday, they’ll take what they’ve learned from you and begin to apply it out in the real world. You’ve got approximately 18 years to get them ready. I have joked that Joni and I had a sign on their bedroom doors that read, “Checkout Time is 18 Years…No Exceptions!” But we both believed we were stewards of our sons with the charge of preparing them to leave.

When I asked my boys what I had taught them, this is what I read:

From Scott:  “You taught me to love the Lord and trust Him with my life.  Your spiritual growth over the past decade has inspired me and taught me a lot about how to grow in the Lord. You taught me to be loyal and hard working in everything I’m involved with, and most importantly, to never give up.  Burchett’s aren’t quitters, even if they want to be sometimes.”

From Brett:  “You taught me how to be a strong Christian man and how to play sports.”

From Matt:  “Never quit something you started. Work hard. Do everything with excellence. Treat everybody with respect and genuine kindness.”

Before you think that I am some really great Dad, let’s return to the third question I asked the boys: what they wish I had done differently. Their responses were consistent and they saddened me. I share this in the hope that young dads will take this to heart.

Matt:    “I wish you could have been home more.”
Scott:  “I wish you could have been home more.”
Brett:   “I wish you could have been home more.”

And here is what I wish I had done differently. I wish I would have been home more. I cannot change the past. God is gracious and loving. My relationship with all of my boys is wonderful despite those misplaced priorities at times. Love does cover a multitude of sins. My sons know they are loved. They know they have my approval and respect. I am blessed by them.

This week I am doing a brief series on leaving a legacy as an earthly father. Every dad leaves a legacy. The only question is what kind. The first step to leaving a positive legacy is to love your wife. For some readers that already has not worked out. That does not mean that you cannot leave a good legacy. There are many ways to redeem the father/child relationship. The second part of leaving a legacy that endures is to be an encouragement to your kids. Paul wrote this simple instruction to the church at Colossae.

Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.

The Message translates this verse  like this….

Parents, don’t come down too hard on your children or you’ll crush their spirits.

I cannot remember hearing a lot of teaching on that verse over the years. It is really easy in this success mad culture to discourage your children. Nearly every dad wants his child to be successful. What is wrong with that desire? There is nothing wrong with that if we balance that desire with love and encouragement and awareness of your child’s unique design. Sometimes we forget the journey we have traveled in our own lives. Frank Clark said that “a father is a man who expects his son to be as good a man as he meant to be.” Ouch.

I came into this whole Dad thing wanting a star athlete or a brilliant scholar. But I had forgotten one little detail. Where did I expect they would dig up those genes to be an All-American quarterback or Rhodes Scholar? I deepened my gene pool considerably when I married Joni but she can only contribute so much.

What I got were three guys ranging from average to very good athletic ability. Very bright but not valedictorians. What God gave me was three godly men of integrity. Men that are kind and loving. I have been blessed more by their character and wisdom than I could have possibly have been blessed by awards and trophies.

The dad factor may be more critical than we ever realized. Christian author/speaker Josh McDowell commissioned a definitive study of the last 17 school shootings. On the surface, the results were the same as dozens of other similar studies; there seems to be no “profile” of a teenage killer. They come from poor, middle class and rich homes. Some are nerds and geeks; some are the most popular kids in school. They come from a variety of races and religions. Some make good grades; some don’t. Some have been bullied, others are the bullies. McDowell went below the surface and discovered a common thread that other studies missed or ignored. He found that in every case, the families of the murderers were superficially ;normal but were, in fact, dysfuntional when it came to the relationship of the children with their parents. In particular, the fathers were either absent or minimally involved in parenting.

After making this discovery, McDowell commissioned another study that involved 2,000 children ages 12 to 17, and 1,000 parents. The study revealed that children raised in a SINGLE PARENT home were 30% MORE LIKELY than the national average to be involved in drugs, alcohol, and violence. I can almost hear some of you saying, “That’s no surprise. I’ve always felt that divorce was the major cause of youth violence. I’m glad WE have two parents raising our children.”

Read on.

Adolescents raised in TWO PARENT families in which the father had a poor to fair relationship with his children were 68% MORE LIKELY than the national average to have problems with drugs, alcohol, and violence! That floored me. Two parents in the home are no defense against the problems we’re discussing unless the father is close to his children. If he is not, his children are at more than twice the risk of children raised in single parent homes.

The final statistic shows us the answer to school violence as well as a host of other problems affecting our youth. Teenagers raised in two parent families in which the father had a good to excellent relationship with his children were 96% LESS LIKELY than the national average to become involved with drugs, alcohol, and violence.

These statistics show us that many of the things that we have assumed would protect our children will not necessarily do so. You can raise your children in a two parent family in a “good” neighborhood, send them to a “good” school, and even take them to church. But if there is a lack of emotional attachment, if there is no loving bond between the children and their parents, particularly the father, children of every background are at some risk.

I am not talking about being a perfect father. These kids (and even many of us) are simply looking for the affirmation and blessing of our earthly fathers.

When Scripture says that God is our Father, it is telling us that these needs can be met by Him. This is where our role as Christian dads becomes so important. There are no perfect earthly dads. But it is critical that we understand the impact that we have on our child’s relationship with God. Some may find it hard to get excited about the scriptural descriptions of God as a father because of the imperfect models of fatherhood they have experienced here on earth.

Some remember a father who was too wrapped up in his job, his buddies, and his hobbies to provide much support or affirmation. He might have been one of those men who believed that their only job was to bring home a paycheck, while Mom was responsible for everything else. Others might recall a dad that was demanding, cold, and unapproachable. Children can tend to transpose their father experience when they think of God as Father.

I have talked to many men my age who are still desperate for the approval of their fathers. And I know that is true for women as well. Jim Valvano, the now deceased coach, said “My father gave me the greatest gift that anyone could give another person, he believed in me.”

Yesterday I noted that I had asked my sons to critique my performance as a dad…both good and bad. Here is one comment from eldest son Matt.

The biggest lesson you taught me was to believe in my ability to accomplish things I never thought possible.  From the kid who got C’s in 8th grade math to going to graduate school at a great university. I could never have accomplished this without parents, and a father, that believed in me.

Don’t EXPECT your children to be perfect. Don’t expect them to meet all of your expectations…to fulfill all of your goals for them…to be what you want them to be. Be grateful for who God made your kids to be. Too many fathers try to live out their own lives through their children. Every child is different. They are not a clone of you (Thank God!).

My son Scott wrote about something that he wished I had done differently.

I wish that you would have made more of an effort to understand me and my personality at an earlier age.  I think Mom did a good job at this, but that might have just been because I opened up to her more.

This is a great example of how husbands and wives are a team. Joni told me that I needed to spend more time with Scott. She sensed what I did not. She told me that I gravitated to his brother who was more like me. She made me mad, hurt my feelings and made me feel like a bad dad. And thank God she did that. I became intentional about coaching Scott’s teams and being with him. It still took a few years for us to really understand one another but I believe Joni’s loving intervention saved our relationship. Today our relationship is awesome. Who knows what would have happened if my bride had not challenged me about that shortcoming in my relating to Scott.

Father’s Day might be a great time to give a gift back to your children. You can give the gift of forgiveness. Or you can ask for forgiveness.

Ernest Hemingway wrote a short story called  “The Capital of the World”. Hemingway told the story of a father and his teenage son. The son had sinned against his father and in his shame he ran away from home. The father searched all over Spain for him, but still he could not find the boy. Finally, in the city of Madrid, in a last desperate attempt to find his son, the father placed an ad in the daily newspaper. The ad read:

“PACO – MEET AT HOTEL MONTANA NOON TUESDAY. ALL IS FORGIVEN PAPA.”

The father prayed that maybe the boy would see the ad and maybe – just maybe – he would come to the Hotel Montana.

And on Tuesday at noon, the father in Ernest Hemingway’s story arrived at the Hotel Montana and he could not believe his eyes. A squadron of police officers had been called out to keep order among the eight hundred young boys named “Paco” who had come to meet their father in front of the Hotel Montana. Eight hundred boys named Paco read the ad in the newspaper and hoped it was for them. Eight hundred “Pacos” came to receive the forgiveness they so desperately needed.

And you can remember that all child want the approval of their fathers. If you have not done so, I encourage you to give the gift of approval this Father’s Day. Give your children the gift of believing in them. Step 2 to leaving a positive legacy as a Dad is simple but powerful. Encourage your children.

Occasionally people will observe our three wonderful sons and ask something like this. “What did you do to parent such great kids?” My response is simple. “I married Joni. The rest is a blur.” There is a little too much truth in that answer. She was and is remarkable. But we did partner in this grand adventure called parenting. Along the way I learned some things mostly by error and stumbling trial. Over the next two days I will share what I have figured out with the disclaimer that I do not claim to be an expert. It is with humility and grateful appreciation to God that He has given me the gift of this family.

One thing I have learned in my journey is that every dad leaves a legacy. The only question is whether that legacy will be good, bad, or indifferent. Being a father is tough because we generally learn how to parent while on the job. From the “I can’t make this stuff up” department I found this article a few years ago about an attempt by a celebrity couple to “prep” for parenthood. They didn’t quite make it to parenthood status but the story is still amusing. Hilary Swank and her then husband Chad Lowe believed they were getting plenty of parental practice before having a child of their own – by looking after a pair of parrots.

The couple, who live in New York City, have faced constant questions throughout their eight-year marriage about when they’ll be ready to start a family. He says, “(Hilary and I) are very eager to have kids, and having parrots is great baby training.

“They need to be fed twice a day, they need love and support, and we teach them their ABCs.”

But I would suggest that the parrots are not a real complete course in parenting. For example…

• Until you have had to walk the floor with a screaming parrot all night long…you still have a lot to learn.
• Until the principal calls you in because your parrot is fighting with the parakeets during recess… you still have a lot to learn.
• Until your parrot spits up on your outfit as you are trying to leave the house… you still have a lot to learn.
• Until your parrots start picking on each other in the back seat of the SUV 30 miles into your 300-mile drive…you still have a lot to learn.
• Until your parrot throws himself on the floor at the supermarket and turns red because you won’t buy Count Chocula cereal…you still have a lot to learn.

Swank and Lowe go on about their parrot training. They repeat everything you say. They love to pick up four-letter words, so you really have to watch it. Luckily, we don’t curse a lot.”

ADD detour…perhaps every church should invest in a parrot for each family. And then they should rotate the parrots every six months. That might kill the gossip virus in the church.

Just took the medication and back on track…Ken Druck and James Simmons in The Secrets Men Keep discuss six major secrets men have. At the top of the list is that “men secretly yearn for their fathers love and approval.” This is often without their conscious knowledge that this yearning manifests itself in the drive that many males have to prove themselves. The authors say:

It may surprise us to know that the most powerful common denominator influencing men’s lives today is the relationship we had with our fathers …. Of the hundreds of men I have surveyed over the years, perhaps 90 percent admitted they still had strings leading back to their fathers. In other words, they are still looking to their fathers, even though their fathers may have been dead for years, for approval, acceptance, affection, and understanding.

This series is not about being a perfect dad. If it were, I would be completely unqualified to write it. This series is not about piling guilt on you for mistakes made. I am not looking for the result like the boy who said to his preacher on the way out, “Boy, that was a good sermon. My dad slumped way down today.” This series is seeing what God’s plan is for leaving a positive legacy as an earthly father.

The first way to leave a good legacy is found in Paul’s letter to the church at Ephesus.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. (NIV, Ephesians 5:25) The translation in The Message says this.

Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church–a love marked by giving, not getting.

The number one way to leave a great legacy for your children is very simple:

Love your wife.

If you are already 0 for 1…or 0 for 2…hang with me. God is a God of grace and compassion. We will see how He can work even when the ideal is no longer possible in upcoming posts.

The idea of marriage as an absolute commitment is an endangered species. Actor Brad Pitt has confessed he knew his marriage to Jennifer Aniston would never last. He said in a recent interview that he never expected to be wed forever. He described his high-profile breakup as “beautiful.” Pitt seemed frustrated about the public perception… “It’s talked about like it failed. I guess because it wasn’t flawless.” Now comes Pitt’s wisdom about marriage: “Me, I embrace the messiness of life. I find it so beautiful, actually. The idea that marriage has to be for all time – that I don’t understand.”

Our culture has devalued marriage to the point where far too many people enter relationships on a trial basis with no expectation that it can last. I will guarantee you one thing…that mindset will make it very likely that it will not last. Had Joni and I shared that value we would be a stat and our children would be from a divided home. Why should followers of Jesus believe that marriage is for all time? A report by Warren Mueller revealed that where both parents attend church regularly, 72% of their children continue in the faith. Where only the father attends, that percentage drops to 55 percent, but where only the mother attends, just 15 percent of the children remain involved in the church.

Theodore M. Hesburgh wrote that the “most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother”.

Your children watch how you treat their mother. They WATCH … and they are LEARNING and FORMING their concept of marriage from YOU. You are creating a PATTERN, a BLUEPRINT for marriage with your children. I struggled as a husband because I had not seen that blueprint in my parents’ marriage. My Dad was a good dad but my parents did not have a good marriage. Joni and I had to break the cycle because she also came from a difficult family situation. Because we broke the cycle our kids have seen a marriage that survived, and not only survived but is very happy. But we had to do a lot of learning on the job.

Part of my preparation for this series was a survey of my three sons…I know…it makes you want to hum the music and do that thing with the hands and knees they did at the beginning of the show. I asked my sons three questions and not one of them was “What is your quest”.

What were their favorite memories with me?
What did they learn from me as a dad?
And what do they wish I had done differently?

Yeah…that last question scared me for one major reason. My sons are truthful. But I figured if I had done something really wrong in their eyes I wanted to seek forgiveness now. Plus I would have a written document so if they turned up on Dr. Phil someday I can say I gave them a chance and they didn’t say anything. Seriously, I thought the exercise would make them consider how they could be better father someday…how they could break more cycles.

Our oldest son Matt wrote a little extra in his letter:

And thank you for being committed to Mom.  It is a rarity to have a family that is not broken.  But you gave up bigger things to make sure we stayed together and that has made all the difference.

If you are still able to control this one move it to the top of your list. The first step to leaving a good legacy as a dad is to love your wife!

(The latest iPod Devotional)

I have probably been to New York City close to a hundred times. But I still act like a tourist when I walk the streets of Manhattan. I look at people and make eye contact with those I encounter. That makes me weird in a place where weird is the norm

Today on a morning walk in search of Dunkin Donuts coffee I passed a woman who was weeping as she walked down the street. My heart went out to her and I wondered what her pain might be. Did she lose a loved one? A relationship? Did she lose her job? Perhaps she or someone she loves had received a devastating diagnosis. Or maybe she felt hopeless and alone. A mystery women in pain amongst ten million people all with their own problems. I will never know the cause of her tears. But God does.

Just minutes later I noticed a bedraggled old man wedged into the corner of an office building. He held a crudely written sign begging for money as vacant eyes scanned the throngs stepping over him.  I wondered what had gotten him to this place.  I have to tell you that the morning walk was a bit sobering today. Maybe that is why New Yorkers mind their own business. There is so much pain and so many hurting people in this city. You feel helpless in many ways.

I thought about how self-centered and self-absorbed I can become. How I can judge others who are downtrodden or difficult. A song called “The Face of Christ” by Chris Rice came to mind for this week’s iPod Devotional.

How did I find myself in a better place
I can’t look down on the frown on the other guy’s face

‘Cause when I stoop down low, look him square in the eye
I get a funny feeling, I just might be dealing
With the face of Christ

Chris Rice talks about how much of our lot in life is completely out of our control.

See you had no choice which day you would be born
Or the color of your skin, or what planet you’d be on
Would your mind be strong, would your eyes be blue or brown
Whether daddy would be rich, or if momma stuck around at all

If I get a little too full of myself I have a surefire cure. I look in the mirror. What I see there is a man who is capable of nearly everything I get angry about with others. I see a man who has made mistakes that could have led me to a very bad place. Somehow God’s grace has preserved me and I am humbled again that God is patient as I work this out. Regular readers know of my admiration for the group Casting Crowns. The song “Who Am I” comes to mind in this context.

Who am I?
That the Lord of all the earth,
Would care to know my name,
Would care to feel my hurt.

Take a moment to meditate on that. Then take a moment to meditate on a later verse.

Who am I?
That the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love
And watch me rise again.

That God sees my sin and looks on me with love is mind boggling. How can I accept that love and not at least attempt to offer it to others? Because there is not a (Christian cussing warning) dang thing that I have done to deserve mercy like that. Too often I fear that I judge and have judged people who acted poorly because of incredible pain and difficulty in their daily life. The thought that I might add to the song is who am I that I should not extend the grace to others that I have received in spite of who I am? Here is my favorite bridge of the lyric.

Not because of who I am,
But because of what you’ve done.
Not because of what I’ve done,
But because of who you are.

That is the message I hope to spend my remaining days proclaiming. I have hope and freedom and joy. Not because of who I am or what I have done. My hope, freedom and joy are because of Christ. Because of what He did for me. Christ has given me a new identity. I am given His righteousness and I am freed from condemnation, guilt and shame. I wish I would have had the courage to share that with those two hurting souls today.

John wrote about how God’s love should compel us to action.

If someone has enough money to live well and sees a brother or sister in need but shows no compassion—how can God’s love be in that person? (1 John 3, NLT)

I used to get a good batch of self-condemnation worked up over verses like that. But I am realizing the power source for that challenge and John writes about it in the next chapter.

We love each other because He loved us first. (1 John 4, NLT)

That is it. We need to accept and trust that love. Living out of that truth gives us the power to love others.

I pray that I will not look down on struggling people and dismiss them for making bad decisions. I pray that I will believe the old saying that “there but for the grace of God go I”. I pray that I will love because I have first been loved. And I pray that I will see the face of Christ.

(From theFish.com)

When the day started I had a completely different direction for this edition of the iPod Devotional. I had discovered a new artist and I was excited to share the artist and the inspiration. The random iPod feature changed that direction entirely this morning. An old hymn that I remembered from my moralistic past cued up. I have a tendency to move past those old songs because they remind me of a graceless congregation that nearly crushed me with rules and hypocritical judgment. I glanced at the screen. Casting Crowns. Hmm…I had a conundrum. I love Casting Crowns. So I decided to listen to the music of my painful past and a song called “Tis So Sweet to Trust in Jesus”.

I was amazed to discover that I used to sing about the same truths that I am now discovering. The difference is that I did not understand how those truths played out in grace and faith. One of my normal tasks is to research the story behind the song. This is a hymn that came out of heartbreak.

During the summer of 1875 Louisa Stead and her husband decided to enjoy the Long Island beach with their four-year-old daughter. Their family joy was interrupted by the desperate cry of a young boy drowning. Louisa’s husband tried to rescue him but both he and the boy were tragically lost in front of the frantic wife and daughter.

The shocked widow struggled to feed her child as she cried out to the Lord to help. At the end of her rope and resources she opened her door one morning to find that someone had left food and money on her doorstep. That night she sat down and wrote this poem which would become the classic hymn.

Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus,
Just to take Him at His Word;
Just to rest upon His promise,
And to know, “Thus saith the Lord!

Oh, how sweet to trust in Jesus,
Just to trust His cleansing blood;
And in simple faith to plunge me
’Neath the healing, cleansing flood!

What a powerful message and the words are even more powerful in the context of her loss. Her lyrics echo what I missed during years of frustrating self-effort. Look at the words she chooses to describe her walk with Jesus.

·       Trust

·       Rest

·       Know

·       Take Him at His Word

None of those would have fit into my agenda of spiritual maturity and manly dedication. My words were more along the lines of try harder, study more, work harder and memorize more. None of those were bad things. The problem was my source of power. Me. There is only source of power that works. Jesus. And that power comes out of trust.

Yes, ’tis sweet to trust in Jesus,
Just from sin and self to cease;
Just from Jesus simply taking
Life and rest, and joy and peace.

I am finally trusting that Jesus is my only source of strength to cease from sin and self. And I am learning that trusting Him leads to joy, peace, life and rest. The truth has been under my nose since that song hit my ears as a young believer decades ago. But a works theology and wounded heart short circuited that joy and peace. Now I can sing joyfully along with this verse.

I’m so glad I learned to trust him,
Precious Jesus, Savior, Friend;
And I know that Thou art with me,
Will be with me to the end.

The truth is I would have to sing “I’m so glad I’m learning to trust Him” if I am to be honest with you. I have heard it said that Jesus is unlike any other teacher. At school we always learned the lessons (hopefully) and then we took the test. In faith we generally have the test first and then the Holy Spirit gently teaches us the lesson. That is the story of this amazing hymn. That is my story. It is likely yours as well. Jesus said this to his Apostles before He left them.

“Don’t let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, and trust also in me. There is more than enough room in my Father’s home. If this were not so, would I have told you that I am going to prepare a place for you? When everything is ready, I will come and get you, so that you will always be with me where I am. And you know the way to where I am going.” John 14, NLT

There is that trust word again. Paul prayed for the blessed result of trusting Jesus as he wrapped up his letter to the Roman church.

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. (Romans 15, NLT)

Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him!
How I’ve proved Him o’er and o’er;
Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus!
Oh, for grace to trust Him more!

Oh, for grace to trust Him more. Paul wrote about that grace in Romans.

Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. (Romans 5, NIV)

We are justified by faith. We stand on His grace. Put your full weight on that grace and remember how sweet it is to trust fully in Jesus.