Charisa Stories

Month: November 2011

  • The Perfect Space

    (From theFish.com)

    My buddy Kelly casually dropped the name of a group last summer that he thought I might look to add to the iPod rotation. The band he mentioned was the Avett Brothers and the scouting report was superb. Today a song by the group inspired this week’s iPod Devotional. It is called “The Perfect Space” and the lyrics resonated with my season of life.

    I wanna’ have friends that I can trust,
    that love me for the man I’ve become not the man I was.

    My Truefaced friend John Lynch says it this way.

    “What if there was a place where the worst of me could be known, and I would discover in the telling of it that I would be loved more, not less?”

    Wouldn’t that be amazing? To have a friend that you could trust with all that is true about you and feel safe. All of us have a deep need to be known and accepted.

    Real friends are a treasure. I hope I don’t insult your intelligence if I remind you it was 17th century French classical author François La Rochefoucauld that wrote, “A true friend is the most precious of all possessions and the one we take the least thought about acquiring.”

    Henri Nouwen captures the heart of friendship that goes beyond backslappin’, watching football and telling bad jokes.

    “When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving much advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a gentle and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares.”

    That very thought is captured in the next lyric by the Avett Brothers.

    I wanna have friends that will let me be
    all alone when being alone is all that I need.

    I wanna fit in to the perfect space,
    feel natural and safe in a volatile place.

    Sometimes the best way to be a friend is to just be present. And when you can trust others you learn that you are not alone in your struggle. Author C.S. Lewis once observed that “Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: “What! You too? I thought I was the only one.”

    More thought provoking lyrics from the Avett Brothers.

    I wanna have pride like my mother has,
    And not like the kind in the Bible that turns you bad.

    The Avett Brothers group features two actual brothers, Scott and Seth, along with bass player Bob Crawford, cellist Joe Kwon, and drummer Jacob Edwards. The brothers Avett were regular church goers in Mt. Pleasant, North Carolina. They heard a few sermons along the way about the danger of pride. The truth is that nothing creates an environment of trust like humility and loyalty. In that soil deep friendship grows.

    And I wanna have friends that I can trust,
    that love me for the man I’ve become and not the man that I was.

    When you look at your friends through the lens of grace you see who they have become and, more importantly, who they can become in Christ.

    I love the New Testament story of the man who was paralyzed and his friends were trying to get him in front of Jesus. They cared. When they couldn’t get in the door they cut a hole in the roof and lowered him down to Jesus. The Lord was moved by the man’s faith (and the faith of his friends) and He had mercy on him. What strikes me is how Jesus addressed the man.

    He said, “Friend, your sins are forgiven you.”  (Luke 5, NASB)

    Jesus still calls men friend when they simply humble themselves in faith. I used to sing “What a Friend We Have in Jesus” in my little hometown church. Jesus is indeed a friend that will never desert me. Jesus also knew that we needed earthly friends to help navigate this often difficult journey.

    Satan would like nothing more than to use the hurts and difficult people in life to keep you from that “perfect space” that is in relationship with Jesus. Relationships are a risk. But we were created to be in fellowship with our Creator and one another. Anything less leaves a void.

    Pray for friends. Most importantly, be a friend. You will likely be disappointed and even hurt along the way. But finding that small number of real friends is worth it. All friends are a blessing. Real friends are a treasure. I will wrap this up with a quote from one of my sentimental favorites, the movie “It’s A Wonderful Life”.

    Remember, no man is a failure who has friends.

  • A Time to be Grateful

    (From theFish.com)

    I love Thanksgiving. I love watching the giant balloons of the Macy’s Thanksgiving parade floating through New York as wide-eyed children watch. I love the traditional football games. The official start of the Christmas season. The post feast nap. I love it all and Thanksgiving Day is here again.

    Thanksgiving Song by Mary Chapin Carpenter captures the intimacy of this wonderful holiday.

    Grateful for each hand we hold
    Gathered round this table.
    From far and near we travel home,
    Blessed that we are able.

    Grateful. That is a powerful word that is so easy to overlook in the tension of life and the depressing cycles of usually bad news. I have so much to be grateful for this Thanksgiving. I am grateful for another year with my best friend and bride Joni. I am grateful for three wonderful sons, two amazing daughter-in-laws and one fantastic grandchild. I am blessed that we are able to be together this Thanksgiving. I am grateful for good friends. I am grateful for the abundant blessings of this country.

    Grateful for this sheltered place
    With light in every window,
    Saying “welcome, welcome, share this feast
    Come in away from sorrow.”

    Every year brings sorrow. Friends and family have suffered illness this year. Some have gone through deep trials. Some have passed away. Sorrow is a part of this journey. But there is something healing about counting blessings and feeling gratitude. Taking that time provides a sheltered place from sorrow. For me the light in the window of my soul is my trust in a God that is faithful, loving and good in blessings and in sorrow.

    Grateful for what’s understood,
    And all that is forgiven;

    Jesus is the light that said welcome when I felt anything but welcome. He invited me to the feast that I did not deserve to attend because of His grace. Jesus said I was forgiven. How can I be anything but grateful if I understand the magnitude of that undeserved love?

    We try so hard to be good,
    To lead a life worth living.

    I might add a little personal clarification to Carpenter’s lyric. I understand the desire to live a life of significance. I get trying to be good. I believe we have a reason for being here. But my experience with the grace of the Lord Jesus has taught me that it is not trying so hard to lead a life worth living that brings peace and joy. It is faithfully following Jesus each day. It is allowing God to love me and asking Him to help me give away that love to others. It is trusting God to provide opportunities to serve. It is believing that God is faithful even through sorrow. It is trusting that what God says about me is true. That I have been changed and I have a new identity in Christ. I am deeply loved and cherished by God. I am declared righteous because of Jesus and that righteousness has nothing to do with how hard I work to be “good”. It is because of Christ. I am so grateful for grace. So very grateful.

    Paul’s words to the Colossian Church make a fitting devotional thought for this holiday.

    Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful.

    Let the message about Christ, in all its richness, fill your lives. Teach and counsel each other with all the wisdom he gives. Sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs to God with thankful hearts. And whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through him to God the Father. (Colossians 3:12-17, NLT)

    I pray that you find much to be grateful for this holiday season.

  • I Fall Apart

    A lot of people dear to me are going through some difficult waters right now. Some are in physical pain, some in emotional pain and some in financial pain. Sometimes even the most sold out followers of Jesus want to raise their face to the heavens and scream.

    “WHY God? WHAT are you doing? HOW can you let this continue?”

    A song by Josh Wilsonresonated on the daily walk and is the basis for today’s iPod Devotional. The song is called “I Fall Apart”.

    Why in the world did I think I could
    Only get to know you when my life was good?
    When everything just falls in place
    The easiest thing is to give you praise
    Now it all seems upside down

    I wish that wasn’t true. I wish I was mature enough to recognize God’s blessings every day and praise Him without ceasing in my normal life of comfort or when things go off course. The truth is that I have a righteous new nature housed in a decidedly unrighteous body of flesh. The conflict is constant and real. Paul talked a lot about the conflict in his letter to the Church in Rome. His words are just as relevant today.

    I have discovered this principle of life—that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong. I love God’s law with all my heart. But there is another power within me that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me. Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death? Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord. So you see how it is: In my mind I really want to obey God’s law, but because of my sinful nature I am a slave to sin. (Romans 7, NLT)

    Pretty depressing. That has been much of my Christian journey. I want to know Him better but on my terms. I want to trust God fully but I also want Him to answer my prayers and keep the blessings flowing freely. I want to make a difference for God but I inevitably default to safety. I feel guilty and sad. Frustrated. Unworthy. And then I read the next words from Paul.

    So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. And because you belong to him, the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed you from the power of sin that leads to death. (Romans 8, NLT)

    No condemnation. I have the power within me to overcome sin. Not perfectly to be sure. But I no longer have to sin. The work of Christ is complete. I am forgiven. Changed. I have a new identity. I bring nothing to the dance other than my trust and submission. That is a hard thing for an American achiever. I want to do something. I want to prove myself worthy of Christ. I cannot. I bring nothing. Only when I recognize my need to trust Him fully can I begin to know Him better. That clarity does not come out of prosperity, health, green lights and blue skies. That clarity comes most often out of darkness, deep valleys and scars.

    Blessed are the ones who understand
    They’ve got nothing to bring but empty hands
    Nothing to hide and nothing to prove
    Our heartbreak brings us back to you

    Henri Nouwen wrote beautifully about the purpose and value of suffering. “We fail to see the place of suffering in the broader scheme of things. We fail to see that suffering is an inevitable dimension of life. Because we have lost perspective, we fail to see that unless one is willing to accept suffering properly, he or she is really refusing to continue in the quest for maturity. To refuse suffering is to refuse personal growth. Jesus says, “Cry over your pains, and you will discover that I’m right there in your tears, and you will be grateful for my presence in your weakness.” Ministry means to help people become grateful for life even with pain. That gratitude can send into the world precisely to the places where people are in pain. The minister, the disciple of Jesus, goes where there is pain not because he is a masochist or she is a sadist, but because God is hidden in the pain.  Henri Nouwen – The Nouwen Center

    Wow. Think of your seasons of growth. I would venture that most of them came out of adversity, pain and struggle.

    Maybe this is how it starts
    I find you when I fall apart
    I don’t know how long this will last
    I’m praying for the pain to pass

    But maybe this is the best thing that has ever happened to me
    ‘Cause my whole world is caving in

    But I feel you now more than I did then
    How can I come to the end of me

    But somehow still have all I need?
    God I want to know you more
    Maybe this is how it starts

     

    Maybe this is how it starts. Today I pray for the comfort for my suffering friends and family. I pray for healing. But I also pray that they (and I) will find God hidden in that pain. That all of us will trust a God who is trustworthy even as we agonize. I pray that we will find that His grace is sufficient. And I pray that all of us embrace the truth that brokenness and pain is how a loving Father must sometimes get our attention.

    I find you when–
    You will find me when–
    I fall apart

    This journey is not and never will be easy. But there is one promise from Jesus that I hold onto.

    “Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.”

  • Love Them Through It

    (From theFish.com)

    This is an interesting time of year for me as stores pull the pink paraphernalia off the shelves and put up the Christmas items. October has become known for pink reminders everywhere of the battle against breast cancer. I am grateful for all that is done to defeat this dread disease. My dear wife just passed the five year survivor mark this year.

    Today a song from Martina McBride brought back waves of memories from a difficult journey. The song is called “I’m Gonna’ Love You Through It”.

    She dropped the phone and burst into tears
    The doctor just confirmed her fears

    Her husband held it in and held her tight
    Cancer don’t discriminate or care if you’re just 38

    With three kids who need you in their lives
    He said, “I know that you’re afraid and I am, too
    But you’ll never be alone, I promise you”

    I remember facing those fears with Joni. I remember promising to walk with her through the valley. I am not a hero. It was my chance to be there for her as she had been my stalwart for so many years. The chorus of McBride’s song describes my desire to serve her.

    When you’re weak, I’ll be strong
    When you let go, I’ll hold on
    When you need to cry, I swear that I’ll be there to dry your eyes
    When you feel lost and scared to death,
    Like you can’t take one more step
    Just take my hand, together we can do it
    I’m gonna love you through it.

    I thought about the better or worse clause in our wedding vows. Cancer was not in the brochure I had pictured for our lives. But the amazing thing about the journey with Jesus is that He works good out of bad. Joni and I drew closer. I was humbled by the strength and depth of her faith. I was amazed by her courage, spirit, and resilience. I was challenged by her lack of self-pity. I now appreciate the good days a lot more and trust Him more during the bad ones. For me it was a privilege to serve a woman who had given selflessly to our family for so many years.

    During her chemotherapy Joni’s wrote these words in her blog.

    “I don’t like being sick but God keeps  reminding me that He is in charge of my body, the cancer, the treatments and the timing even though  I feel so out  of control.  When I am able to relinquish control of my situation is when He can work.  Lord, I thank you for Dave, my earthly rock, and I thank you that you are my true Rock.  Psalms 31:3…For thou art my rock and my fortress; for thy name’s sake Thou wilt lead me and guide me.”

    We are called to “love” people through trials and storms. I remember my bride making a declaration of trust when she faced an uncertain future with her breast cancer diagnosis. Her words inspired me then and now. “I am not and I will not question God.”

    Joni did not want to go through what she went through. But she knew that God had been faithful and she believed that would not change. It did not.

    We have seen how God has used our trials in our lives and in the lives of others through His grace. In the book “The Perfect Loss” author Chip Dodd begins the volume with these words.

    “Life is tragic; God is faithful.”

    I believe that. I believe in His faithfulness. I believe in the joy that’s coming. I believe in a God who used brokenness and hurt to tear down my protective walls to learn how to trust Him and others with my needs. I believe I can live in a realm of grace that allows me to see and love others without the judgment that clouded the eye of my heart for so long. And I believe in the outcome of the journey no matter how tough it can be at times.

    Paul wrote this to the church at Corinth.

    …As God’s grace reaches more and more people, there will be great thanksgiving, and God will receive more and more glory. That is why we never give up. Though our bodies are dying, our spirits are being renewed every day. For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever! So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever. (2 Corinthians 4, NLT)

    I pray that you hold firm to your trust when “life” happens. And I pray that you and I will remember that we are God’s hands and feet on this planet to “love” people through tough times. That is how the body of Christ should function. They may respect us for our knowledge and doctrine but they will know we are Christians by our love.