Month: October 2016

Today the satellite radio landed on a song by the Beatles. The song takes me back to 1964 when I was an overweight nerd struggling to find my place in the world. What a difference fifty-two years makes. Now I am not overweight.

“Can’t Buy Me Love” reached the top of the charts for the group. When asked about the deeper meaning of the song Paul McCartney gave this reply. “The idea behind it was that all these material possessions are all very well, but they won’t buy me what I really want.”

Sing along with me all of you tired and achy Boomers…

I’ll buy you a diamond ring my friend if it makes you feel alright
I’ll get you anything my friend if it makes you feel alright
‘Cause I don’t care too much for money, money can’t buy me love

I’ll give you all I got to give if you say you love me too
I may not have a lot to give but what I got I’ll give to you
I don’t care too much for money, money can’t buy me love

A couple of years later McCartney wondered if the lyrics were untrue.  When reflecting on the perks that money and fame had brought him he said the title should have been “Can Buy Me Love”.

I wonder how Paul McCartney feels today with five more decades of mileage on the life odometer. I suspect he now feels the original idea was correct. Money really can’t buy you love.

It is a deception of the world that money can buy you love or happiness or peace. I will be honest that I would prefer to have money over the the alternative. But I have learned that money is in no way a predictor of happiness. Some of the most miserable people I know could buy and sell me with their pocket change. It is human nature to believe that more money, some possession gained or a title achieved will finally make us happy. At best it is temporary and then you have to go on to the next thing.

I have been on both sides of the money thing. And I can tell you without reservation that money is unrelated to happiness. Happiness is seeing my wife at the end of a long day. Enjoying time with my wonderful sons (and daughter-in-laws). Spending the day with the grandkids. Laughing with friends. Petting the soft ears of our rescued Lab Maggie.

Happiness is watching a baby toddle. A child smile. An elderly couple look at one another with that look that only decades can develop. Happiness is seeing the sun rise and hearing the birds welcome that sight. Happiness is connecting with the One who made me. That is what I was created for and my happiness is found in the simplest things of life. There is joy all around us. I choose to look for those things. Yet life happens and sometimes joy is a bit harder to choose.

In his letter to the church at Corinth Paul made the amazing statement that “I am overwhelmed with joy despite all our troubles.” (2 Cor 7:4, MSG)

Where does that attitude come from? I can guarantee it doesn’t come from money. Because we can “rent” what appears to be happiness for a season our culture continually confuses money with real happiness.

I choose to embrace life. I accept suffering because I am in relationship with a God who understands suffering and offers comfort that is inexplicable. Joni and I have stared down heartache and tragedy and found peace. Jesus had a thought or two on joy and it’s source.

“I’ve told you these things for a purpose: that my joy might be your joy, and your joy wholly mature.  This is my command: Love one another the way I loved you. This is the very best way to love.”  (John 15, MSG)

I am nowhere close to saying that my joy is wholly mature. But I have hope as I write this. Hope that transcends sports cars, money, and even the difficulties of life. I have hope because I have found the source of joy. Paul wrote a joyful letter to the church at Philippi.

Don’t fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns.   Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.  (Phil 4, MSG)

The Beatles were right. Money can’t buy you love. Placing Christ at the center of your life allows you to find joy in His amazing grace. But you can’t buy that either. It is a free gift. The gift of God’s love and forgiveness is available to anyone. We just have to receive it.

You see t-shirts and signs that proclaim that I am in control of my success. I used to imagine that I was the master of my destiny and slogans like these sounded really empowering.

“If it is to be, it is up to me”

“If you can dream it you can achieve it”

I agree that having a good attitude and determination is important. But sometimes my life experience is more accurately described by the great boxer and philosopher Mike Tyson.

“Everyone has a plan ’til they get punched in the mouth”

Yep. Well said Mike. No matter how much I may plan my life I will face the inevitable “punches” in the mouth that life delivers. No amount of efforts to control my life will prevent illness. I do not have control over every relationship in my life. I cannot keep those I care about from making bad decisions. I cannot control unforeseeable circumstances that alter my career. Recently I have had a couple of Mike Tyson moments.

James warns about the folly of thinking that we are in control.

Look here, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we are going to a certain town and will stay there a year. We will do business there and make a profit.” How do you know what your life will be like tomorrow? Your life is like the morning fog—it’s here a little while, then it’s gone. What you ought to say is, “If the Lord wants us to, we will live and do this or that.” Otherwise you are boasting about your own pretentious plans, and all such boasting is evil. (James 4:13-16, NLT)

The one thing we can be sure of is that we have trials and heartaches in this journey. The question I must answer is how will I deal with the inevitable? I wrote about the answer to that question in my book Stay: Lessons My Dogs Taught Me about Life, Loss, and Grace.

One person responds to tragedy with deeper faith. Another turns from God in anger, perhaps never to return. What is the difference? Perhaps this parable that Jesus related in Matthew’s Gospel offers the biggest clue. When the storm hits, what matters most is the foundation that you have built your faith upon.

Anyone who listens to my teaching and follows it is wise, like a person who builds a house on solid rock. Though the rain comes in torrents and the floodwaters rise and the winds beat against that house, it won’t collapse because it is built on bedrock. But anyone who hears my teaching and doesn’t obey it is foolish, like a person who builds a house on sand. When the rains and floods come and the winds beat against that house, it will collapse with a mighty crash.  (Matthew 7:24-27)

I have dealt with loss by relying on both types of foundations. My early theology was built on the shifting sand of self-effort and discipline. When the storm came, my “house of faith” collapsed like a house of cards. When I began to build on a foundation of identity and trusting who God is, my house of faith weathered the storm without being completely destroyed. The storm battered me full force, but the house stood.

What is that foundation made of? I would suggest that these are the foundation stones.

God is all powerful.

God is all knowing.

God is love.

God is holy.

God is good.

God is just.

God is righteous.

God is grace.

God is sovereign.

God is unchanging.

God is joy.

God is forgiving.

God is truth.

God is patient.

If the gospel message is true—and I believe it is—then God says to trust Him when we face trials. His ways are not our ways, and His timing is certainly not ours, but His love is real.

Today I choose to stand on that foundation. I am not in control but I am confident in the One who is. To quote the old hymn that my dad loved so much.

Many things about tomorrow
I don’t seem to understand
But I know Who holds tomorrow
And I know Who holds my hand

 

 

 

Recently we volunteered to help out with the grandkids during a busy time. We met our son Scott and daugher-in-law Caroline late at night as they returned from a family getaway. Grandtwins Bennett and Clara were sound asleep when we made the transfer to our vehicle. Clara rallied briefly but Bennett never roused in the transfer to his bed at our home.

The next morning the kids were having breakfast when a thought crossed Bennett’s mind.

“Nana…how did I get here?”

We laughed at Bennett’s very legitimate question. He went to sleep in his car and woke up at Nana and Papas. The truth is that is a question that a lot of us ask during certain seasons of life.

How did I get here?

How did I get in this place in a relationship? How did I get here in my relationship with God? How did I get here with my health or the health of a loved one? All of us have “how did I get here” moments in our lives.

A song by Laura Story resonates when we ask this question. The song is called “Blessings” and the words are profound.

We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity

There is nothing inherently wrong with praying for those things. But my attempt to maneuver God to grant my wishes is wrong. Laying out my will and praying for God’s notary seal is not what He desires. Blessings are not just receiving good things from God and that truth is beautifully captured by Story’s lyrics.

‘Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

Her lyrics come out of learning to trust the object of her worship even through the trials. Her website bio describes her journey.

But amidst that success a brain tumor hospitalized her husband in 2006. The faith Story sang about was put through the unexpected fires of fear and loneliness; most young newlyweds don’t imagine being kept alive at one point by breathing machines or having to find their way through significant post-operative vision and memory loss. Could grace notes resound from such a life-altering struggle?

We know that pain reminds this heart
That this is not our home

Story relates the question she faced during the health crisis she faced with her husband.

“But there’s a decision that I find God is asking us to make: whether we are going to choose to interpret our circumstances based on what we hold to be true about God, or whether we’re going to judge what we hold to be true about God based on our circumstances.”

Our faith is not based on feelings or circumstances or checking off items on the prayer list. Our faith is based on the object of our faith. God is faithful. He hears our cries. But sometimes the answer is not what we desire. Paul learned the same thing and he wrote about it to the church in Corinth. You likely know the passage. Paul was given “a thorn in the flesh” that he beseeched three different times to be removed. Paul had a pretty strong signal on the Faith-o-meter. Five bars. But God said no. I like the translation from The Message.

Because of the extravagance of those revelations, and so I wouldn’t get a big head, I was given the gift of a handicap to keep me in constant touch with my limitations. Satan’s angel did his best to get me down; what he in fact did was push me to my knees. No danger then of walking around high and mighty! At first I didn’t think of it as a gift, and begged God to remove it. Three times I did that, and then he told me,

   My grace is enough; it’s all you need.
My strength comes into its own in your weakness.

Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ’s strength moving in on my weakness. Now I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size—abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks. I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become.  (2 Corinthians 12, The Message)

The gift of a handicap? Are you kidding me? But as I look back on the deep valleys and trials of my journey I see God’s hand and my growth through those events. Blessings from the pain? Without question. And I am learning the truth of Laura Story’s experience.

What if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are your mercies in disguise?

More and more I am realizing that they are. It doesn’t always matter how you got here. It matters that you know that Jesus is with you.

A song by Joe South reflected my teenage disdain for those in power who seemed to not care a whit about the regular folk. I check the comments of Millenials today and I realize that not much, if anything, has changed since this song was recorded in the turbulent late 60’s.

“The Games People Play” was recorded by Joe South and here are the first two stanzas.

Oh the games people play now
Every night and every day now
Never meaning what they say now
Never saying what they mean

And they wile away the hours
In their ivory towers
Till they’re covered up with flowers
In the back of a black limousine

I have to admit that a bit of the anger and power of the protest was diminished with this hard-hitting chorus.

La-da da da da da da da
La-da da da da da de
Talking ’bout you and me
And the games people play

Hard to gin up a lot of “in your face” intensity and passion when you are singing “la-da-da-da-da-da-da”. My frustration with the hypocrisy I saw in my church was fueled by this lyric.

People walking up to you
Singing glory hallelulia
And they’re tryin to sock it to you
In the name of the Lord

We thought we could change the world by promoting love, hope and peace.  I see the same anger directed at my generation (pretty much deserved) that we felt toward my parent’s. I read how this generation is going to change things by promoting love, hope and peace. Can you say full circle?

We thought that hope would be realized with a leader or a political party. We believed that change would come because of kindred politicians or better laws or courts that would establish justice as we saw it. We thought that the right leader would make sure that we educated every child no matter their circumstance. We hoped that this political savior would provide for the needs of every person at no cost to them. We were wrong by placing that hope on the government without putting responsibility on ourselves.

So many people are placing their hope for happiness on political candidates and parties. I do believe that leaders make a difference. I care deeply about making an informed and prayerful choice. But I never place my hope or desire for change on a politician. The word hope is used about 80 times in the New Testament. The first appearance of the word in the NIV translation pretty much lays out my belief.

“In his name (Jesus) the nations will put their hope.” (Matthew 12, NIV)

Paul wrote about the hope that I have in his letter to the Romans.

I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit. (Romans 15:13, NIV)

The second chorus of South’s tune has a real pearl of wisdom.

God grant me the serenity
To remember who I am

That is what I have learned since I was the angry young man hellbent on changing the establishment. I remember who I am. I am a follower of Jesus. A child of God. A servant who is humbled by His amazing grace.

I will be shocked if our leaders in Washington decide to work together for us. But I will not be surprised one bit if they do not. The important change for me has already happened. I am changed because of Christ. I have hope that is real. I have peace that transcends circumstance. Because of those truths I can deal with the rest of the news. I believe that no matter what happens in Washington in the coming months and years I am convinced that the following statement is true.

God is in control.