Month: February 2008

This Valentine’s Day is approaching the two year annivesary of D-Day (that is Diagnosis Day for cancer patients). I will gaze at my bride across the table tonight and see the same beautiful woman that I saw two years ago. The sparkle is back in her eyes, the hair has returned and Joni looks wonderful. Tonight I will treasure the moment. But I remember a lesson from the cancer journey. Beauty is so much more than the standards our shallow society sets forth. Here is a piece I wrote during our breast cancer trial.

One of my smart aleck remarks that I use periodically is that “I am not burdened by that whole maturity thing.” There are many times when I go about demonstrating that in real life. But the unwelcome intrusion of “life” into my happy little routine has caused me to evaluate a lot of things. God is teaching and revealing a lot of things to me during our cancer journey.

   1. I am clearly a work in progress as a follower of Jesus.
   2. He has done a lot of work over the years that I was not aware of until this cancer trial came along.

Last night I had the weird privilege of helping clip off the rest of my bride’s hair that was falling out from the chemotherapy. As I reflected on that moment later I realized that nearly everything I knew about beauty when I was 25 years old was wrong. Like most men I looked for appearance first and then tried to find some good qualities. Joni was a stunningly beautiful woman when I fell in love with her over thirty years ago.  I have often said that I married my trophy wife first and got it over with. I also joke that I married her to deepen my gene pool. And she has done that admirably. One of the ironies of this cancer journey is remembering how much I loved Joni’s long hair in the early years of our relationship. In fact I got upset when she cut it a few years into our marriage without discussing it with me. Her hair was a real part of her beauty in my stunted male view of what beauty in a woman means.

To be completely honest I wondered how I would react when the chemo therapy had its inevitable effect and she would be bald. Oh, I knew I would say the right things. I am not that stupid. But how would I react inside? Would it matter more than I cared to admit? And that is when I realized how much God has been working over the years. He has been retooling my thinking and my heart. Patiently. Quietly. Lovingly.

Joni’s hair began to give up while I was on a recent trip. She decided to get the buzz cut while I was gone (again without discussion). So I walked in the door and she, in typical Joni fashion asked, “Want to see my head?” When I did I realized what God has been doing over the years to a shallow and selfish guy. He has been changing me and what I perceive to be beautiful. Because the truth is that Joni is as beautiful to me today as she was with that long, shining hair thirty years ago. That is because I am learning what beauty in a woman really looks like.

Some days are better than others. I am grateful for the days when the sparkle returns to her beautiful blue eyes. Those eyes are the windows to a soul that has more depth than I could ever achieve. She is remarkable. She is my hero. Her faith inspires me. Her smile still lights up the room. I treasure each moment that I can make her laugh. The sound of her laughing is like a symphony to me. I have learned that beauty is so much more than what the world and testosterone ridden young men (or, sadly, many older men) think it is. Beauty is a package. One part physical to be sure. But beauty in the covenant of marriage is also emotional and spiritual.  When I fell in love with Joni I just thought I was marrying a foxy lady. I was really too stupid to know I was marrying a gift from God. The classic description of a Godly woman from Proverbs 31 fits her pretty well.

Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is worth more than precious rubies. Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life… 

She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs with no fear of the future. When she speaks, her words are wise, and kindness is the rule when she gives instructions. She carefully watches all that goes on in her household and does not have to bear the consequences of laziness. Her children stand and bless her. Her husband praises her: There are many virtuous and capable women in the world, but you surpass them all! Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the LORD will be greatly praised. Reward her for all she has done. Let her deeds publicly declare her praise.

I married an amazing women. Right now she happens to be bald…and so very beautiful.

Today Joni looks very much like she did B.C. (before cancer). But I pray I will never forget that her beauty is so much more than I once thought.

In our last episode…

A recent post about whether Christians should sit out or perhaps cast a protest vote in this year’s election has generated some spirited response. Let’s hear from you along with some unsolicited comments (as always) from yours truly.

Our first comments come from Russ who tried a crazy idea. He decided to go to God’s Word, spend time with God and pray. If too many follow Russ’s lead we could be threatened with unity so we must tread carefully. Maybe that is the sarcasm that reader Larry noticed in his comments yesterday. Here is the result of the crazy prayer idea.

So basically after I went to God, prayed and became revitalized, it was clear what I must do. First, stop letting the media scare me into thinking we do not matter. Second, prepare to vote, keeping in mind, there are other races other than President (Senate, House, State legislatures, etc) and to seek out good candidates to support that will represent what I believe it right. Third, is to pray for whatever candidate wins. Pray that God would work on their heart and that they would seek His counsel. And fourth, continue to voice our opinions to our elected representatives.

Very well said. Thanks. Maybe I will try your wild scheme. Next up is Bridgette.

Thank you for a very timely piece. I’m an Independent (which is almost as evil as being a democrat in some evangelical microcosms.)

I really wonder about the advice some of these “leaders” are giving. I realize it is more of the “conservative” leaders than the “evangelical” leaders that are advocating the next position; however, I’ve even heard folks say that if it comes down to Mrs. Clinton or Mr. McCain that they would go for Mrs. Clinton in hopes that she will enable the republicans to win next time with a “real” conservative.

That is solid logic. I think I will suggest to youngest son that he marry a bad wife so he can realize his mistake and get a good wife the next time.

I wonder if the “leaders” are really spending time in prayer? It really does sound like flesh is speaking.

Maybe I can forward them to Russ and he can explain that whole “pray and read scripture thing” to them. Bridgette, unfortunately, was not done.

One small nit — Five for Fighting is a solo act with a rather ambiguous name.

DOH! That explains why there is only one dude in the video. Thanks for helping me to shorten my stupid span. There is no nit too small to pick when I am factually wrong.

Reader John had this to say.  

I would like to suggest that we really are not just faced with a choice of A or B. (Be that McCain/Clinton or something else.) I realize that it will be impractical, but if enough people would not be resigned to “I don’t like either of the choices, therefore I will simply not vote.” then we might be able to effect real change. I am very disheartened that 33% is considered good voter turnout. How much could be done if that other 66% would actually come out and express their opinion? We are not faced with just the donkey and elephant for choice.

“If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.”
Geddy Lee

My heart agrees with John and I wish that independents were a viable option. But that groundwork must be prepared now for future elections. This time around we must play the hand that is dealt to us by the system. Plus I love anyone who finishes with a quote from Geddy Lee, the vocalist from the rock group Rush. Nice.

Next up is the cryptically named P4F.

FYI.

Thank you for clearing my mind of all the clutter of the media. I was feeling like many others that the only solution was to not vote but in my heart felt that was not a good alternative. This reminded me that if I vote in a manner of prayer that God will lead me and lay on my heart the best of the candidates and His purposes will be fulfilled. We need to be more open to stepping out into faith and the arms of Jesus. After all isn’t this the way Jesus lived? He stayed open and faithful to the purpose of God.

Thanks so much for a well written answer to the question of many!

You are welcome. And thank you for my new ministry. Media Clutter Clearance Consultant. That will be a full-time job!

And the last word (almost) will go to faithful reader Kathleen.

I begin by saying how much I value my privilege (and related duty) to make my wishes known at the polls. I will vote even if I’m not enchanted with the candidate I select (I hate to admit it, but I voted for Ross Perot back when …). Anyway, last I heard, God is in control and will achieve His purposes with either a noble or an ignoble outcome. It’s best I leave that to Him while I work my assignment to be light and salt.

“Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a workman who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth…. Nevertheless, God’s solid foundation stands firm, sealed with this inscription: “The Lord knows those who are His … In a large house there are articles not only of gold and silver, but also of wood and clay; some are for noble purposes and some for ignoble. If a man cleanses himself from the latter, he will be an instrument for noble purposes, made holy, useful to the Master and prepared to do any good work. (2 Tim 2:15, 19-21)

God’s Word is a great place to end. Thanks for your input.

Last week I posed this question:

Should Christians sit this election out?

You responded. Today we take a look at some of those responses with comments from your Bad Christian Laureate. First some thoughts from those who disagree with me.

That is the thought process that caused millions to cast votes for Ross Perot and send Bill Clinton to the White House. Did that message result in better candidates? I would argue that the best way for Christians to make a statement is to stay together as a voting block. Nothing would please those opposed to the moral issues that concern evangelicals more than seeing that group’s influence splintered. Please think carefully about the consequences.

Finally, I end with this comment from another reader.

Keep up the good work. We’ve got a lot in common (early fifties, Ohio native, Reds fan, three sons, sports fan, sarcastic, etc.)

Sarcastic? Moi? Anyone else see that?

More of your comments tomorrow. Keep’em coming.

A news story this week from Christianity Today amused me. The headline was provocative.

Super Tuesday Results Show Split Between Evangelicals and Their Spokesmen

I am an amateur evangelical anthropologist. Like Jane Goodall I go into their habitats and study their behaviors. Since I am one of the species it is easy to assimilate into their culture. My first journal, When Bad Christians Happen to Good People, was a result of my time spent with these fascinating creatures. From my observations a couple of immediate questions came to mind as I read the headline in Christianity Today.

1. When did we get spokesmen? Unlike dentists on TV commercials I can’t get four out of five evangelicals to agree on anything.
2. Have these reporters not previously observed that evangelicals are an unruly lot and that our primary conflict resolution strategy is to split?

(Note to the humor impaired: The comments above were good-natured jesting. Please back away from the send button)

The rest of the story was a bit perplexing and sad. Dr.James Dobson is an influential and respected leader in evangelical circles. I have known about his passion for family for over thirty years. Courtesy of middle son Scott I read The Strong Willed Child about 37 times.

And then Scott turned three.

I appreciate what Dobson has done through his unwavering support of family and marriage. But I was surprised by Dr. Dobson’s statement this week.

“Should Sen. (John) McCain capture the nomination as many assume, I believe this general election will offer the worst choices for President in my lifetime,” Dobson said in a message to his e-mail subscribers the morning of Super Tuesday. “I certainly can’t vote for Hillary Clinton or Barack Obama based on their virulently anti-family policy positions. If these are the nominees in November, I simply will not cast a ballot for President for the first time in my life.”

I thought about whether I could sit out an election. The very first thing that popped into my mind was my late father. I thought of him leaving for the Pacific theater as a terrified eighteen year old during World War II. I thought about how much he believed that voting was one sacred result of the sacrifices of men and women for over two hundred years. I must gracefully disagree with Dr.Dobson. I cannot forfeit that privilege no matter how I might feel about the slate of candidates presented to me.

Regular readers of these humble ramblings know that I rarely, rarely use all caps in any of my writing. But I will make an exception for this thought.

I WILL NEVER SIT OUT AN ELECTION IN WHICH I AM PHYSICALLY ABLE TO VOTE!

If there are two choices I assume that one choice has to be better than the other. I will prayerfully decide which choice comes closer to my values and beliefs. And I will vote for that candidate even if he or she represents only a part of what I value. Something, in this case, is far better than nothing. I wish I could pick my candidate, pack up his briefcase with my agenda along with a hearty lunch and then send him to Washington. But that is not reality.

I pray that you will take this responsibility seriously enough to dig past the pundits and the partisan blather. Freedom is like health. You don’t appreciate either one until they are gone.

H.L.Mencen once said, “We must be willing to pay a price for freedom, for no price that is ever asked for it is half the cost of doing without it.”

Think about that.

And think about the lyrics of the song Freedom Never Cries by an artist called Five For Fighting. The lyrics note how we tend to ignore the quiet dignity of freedom and take it for granted.

I never loved the soldier until there was a war
Or thought about tomorrow
’til my baby hit the floor
I Only talk to God when somebody’s about to die
I Never cherished Freedom

Freedom never cries…

Thank God today for the blessing of freedom. I plan to exercise one of my precious freedoms this November when I vote. I also thank God today for another kind of freedom.

It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery.  (Galatians 5,  NASB)

Cherish both freedoms. And take neither for granted.

The morning perambulation (look that one up Nelson) was lovely today. The sun was shining brightly and the air was brisk. The iPod was cranking with a playlist that featured songs from my brief career as a disc jockey in the early 70’s. Yep, that was one more failed career on my resume. I remember that I used to play songs each day based on my mood. If I had just broken up with my girlfriend you would hear songs like “How Can You Mend A Broken Heart”, “Another Somebody Done Somebody Wrong Song” and “Alone Again, Naturally”. I feel sorry for any listeners on those days.

“Did you listen to the radio today?”
“Yeah…I feel really depressed for some reason.”
“Me too. I wonder why?”

Sorry.

On my current DJ playlist is a song that generated some spiritual reflection. Bill Withers had a big hit with the song “Lean on Me” in 1972.

Sometimes in our lives we all have pain
We all have sorrow
But if we are wise
We know that there’s always tomorrow

Please swallow your pride
If I have things you need to borrow
For no one can fill those of your needs
That you don’t let show

Lean on me, when you’re not strong
And I’ll be your friend
I’ll help you carry on
For it won’t be long
‘Til I’m gonna need
Somebody to lean on

God designed this journey to be lived in community. Remember the description of the early church?

And all the believers met together constantly and shared everything they had. They sold their possessions and shared the proceeds with those in need. They worshiped together at the Temple each day, met in homes for the Lord’s Supper, and shared their meals with great joy and generosity– all the while praising God and enjoying the goodwill of all the people. And each day the Lord added to their group those who were being saved.  (Acts 2,  NLT)

We were created to be in community. A community of believers that accept and embrace those different from us because of Christ. That is what makes church dynamic to a person who experiences grace and acceptance for the first time. And that is why church can be devastating when the congregation becomes selective, judgemental, and legalistic. When we become “professional Christians” something seems to happen. We lose touch with our former brokenness and sinfulness.  I wrote about my dream of the Sinner Sensitive Church to replace the seeker sensitive approach in When Bad Christians Happen to Good People.     Here is an excerpt from that book.

The sinner-sensitive church (SSC) is my proposal for a new church movement toward making everyone feel welcomed and loved. The SSC would model nonjudgmental attitudes. Issues like having tattoos, body piercings, weird hair, or ugly shoes would not necessarily denote demon possession. The SSC would pledge not to gossip because we would realize that it is only by the grace of God that we are not the current targets. The sinner-sensitive church would value every spiritual, physical, and financial gift, no matter how big or small. This church would appreciate but not elevate the person who built the new wing with the large financial endowment. The SSC would make it a practice to reach out, touch, and care for one another sacrificially because we know that we all fall down in life and in our Christian walk. At the SSC we would have executives holding hands in prayer with laborers and not thinking twice about it. Blacks and whites and Hispanics and others would break bread together because we are all sinners in the eyes of a color-blind God.

The sinner-sensitive church would give freely out of profound gratitude to a God who somehow saw fit to give us an undeserved chance. The sinner-sensitive church would practice the prodigal son ministry, running to welcome those returning from mistakes and bad decisions and sin. Our members would get involved in other people’s lives. We would hold our brothers and sisters accountable to godly standards. Marriage would be cherished. Families would have a community of support during problems and trials. The congregation of the SSC would not be so self-centered that we would demand the undivided attention of the pastor at every little crisis. Other believers would help meet many of those needs that we now prefer to leave to the “professional Christians” on staff. The people of this church would come with hearts ready to be fed but also realizing that God has provided resources beyond any available in history to meet our spiritual hunger. And should we walk out the church doors still needy, we would know we can draw from the marvelous resources of Christian books, music, radio, video, tapes, Internet, and studies to meet our needs. Any one of us could be filled to overflowing if that were our desire.

The sinner-sensitive church would also delight in the company of other spiritual travelers and make it a priority that no one ever felt alone. We would make each other feel valuable but, on occasion, a little uncomfortable. Being comfortable in church is not the primary goal. I am not always comfortable at the dentist’s office. I often arrive in pain because I have neglected to do what I should have done. The staff always makes me feel welcome and even cared for. Then the dentist confronts me with the truth: “You have let this go too long, and I must hurt you (a little) in order to heal you. You will have to pay a financial price and spend time recovering before you are completely well.” Those are the facts of my dental hygiene sin. The sinner-sensitive church would not back off the truth either. Decay in the enamel or soul must be addressed. We will tell one another the truth and explain that the process might be a little painful. We would participate in ongoing preventative maintenance and help one another deal with problems as soon as possible, before they become even more painful and expensive to fix.

The SSC would worship with enthusiasm, whether singing hymns or praise choruses, because God is worthy of that praise. The sinner-sensitive fellowship would have a sense of profound reverence because we have received God’s grace, the most amazing gift ever offered. The sinner-sensitive church would be so excited about this grace that the incredible news of the gospel would be as much a part of who we are as our jobs and our families.

Sinner sensitive was the ministry style of our Lord. He was always available to people who realized their need. Merely being a seeker did not necessarily merit His time. The wealthy young man came to Jesus seeking what he lacked to receive eternal life (Matthew 19:16-22). However, the jarring truth of Christ’s answer to sell his possessions and give to the poor revealed to him that he was not ready to follow Christ. But when sinners came with a humble confession of need and a willingness obey God, Jesus never turned them away. The church of Acts was sinner-sensitive and functioned much in the way I have described above. (I’m not sure about the praise choruses, though.)

Frankly, sometimes we try a little too hard to “attract” the unchurched. A church that functioned like the one described above would be such a societal miracle that you couldn’t keep people away if you barred the doors. And while the majority of my idealism has been beaten out of me, I still believe that such a church will be possible when we finally reach the point of actually wanting it. That will not come until we decide we are willing to pay the price for such a church. The harsh reality is that most of us are afraid to commit to this radical type of fellowship because we aren’t sure what it would require of us. My own natural reaction is “Praise the Lord but keep the Lexus!” I’ll hazard a guess that you are the same.

That is my dream of what church should look like. A place of grace. A place where others can sing these lyrics and mean it…

Lean on me, when you’re not strong
And I’ll be your friend
I’ll help you carry on
For it won’t be long
‘Til I’m gonna need
Somebody to lean on

Regular readers of the humble ramblings know that I will often reference some of the great thinkers of our age to make a point. Today is one of those days as I go deep into the mind of Popeye the Sailor Man.

What other Christian writer offers this kind of depth and insight?

Stumbling across an old Popeye cartoon triggered this post. Seeing an old cartoon brought back memories of a childhood misspent in front of a glowing black and white Sylvania television. Questions still unanswered came to mind. Why did Popeye have to get  his strength from spinich? Why couldn’t he be more like Wimpy and get his super strength from hamburgers? What was so attractive about Olive Oyl?

What size shoe did she wear? Fifteen? Sixteen? Perhaps some of my questions will never be answered. But it was a couple of familiar expressions from Popeye that generated today’s article. The first Popeye proverb summarizes the place I arrived at a few years ago in my Christian journey.

“That’s all I can stands, I can’t stands no more!”

That frustration led to my first book, When Bad Christians Happen to Good People. I was fed up with Christians who display their faith on their shirt, wrist and bumpers but not in their lives. I was tired of phony faith. I was tired of faking it. If I was going to call myself a Christian I wanted to understand what that meant and how it would change my life.

And if I am reading the Bible correctly it should change my life dramatically. My life will not change perfectly but there should be discernable change that is noticeable to me and to others.

That frustration and search has finally led me to an epiphany that is, again, summed up by the wise sailor man Popeye.

“I yam what I yam.”

So what “yam” I?

I was a sinner saved by grace and faith alone. But what I am beginning to understand is who I “yam” now in Christ. That is transforming my life. I have referenced the book TrueFaced as an incredible volume of practical theology.

Buy it. Borrow it. Get your library to stock it. But please read this book. The authors have a great approach to teaching who we are in Christ. Here are some nuggets from that book.

God is not interested in changing the Christian.

My heresy alarm sounded prematurely when I first heard this comment from the TrueFaced guys. But listen to the rest of the story.

Grace changes our life focus from struggling with sin issues to trusting who God says I already am. I am a saint who occasionally sins, not a sinner who is striving to become a saint. If we focus on struggling with sin issues, we will never experience trusting who God says I am. If we focus on the trusting who God says I am, we will experience unparalleled transformation regarding our sin issues. Grace lets God handle sin. Moral striving to become godly only keeps us enslaved to sin. Shifting to trusting God helps us take ourselves less seriously while taking our sin far more seriously.

Powerful stuff. I am experiencing unparalleled transformation as I am finally comprehending who I am in Christ.

I yam what I yam. A saint. I have been changed and my spiritual DNA rewritten. Now I need to get on with the process of growing into who I already am in God’s eyes.

Fifteen years ago a funny and underappreciated  movie came on the scene. Groundhog Day told the story of a self-absorbed news reporter (redundancy alert?) that finds himself stuck in an endless repeat of the same day. Bill Murray is perfect in the role of reporter Phil Connors. Since I live in the odd world of broadcast television I can relate to the cynical personality of Murray’s character. Reporter Phil is less than thrilled that he has been assigned to cover Punxsutawney Phil’s annual peek outside to predict winter’s duration. Connor’s looks into the camera and cynically reports:

“This is one time where television really fails to capture the true excitement of a large squirrel predicting the weather.”

I have directed some events that offer that kind of challenge. But what got me thinking about that movie again was the plotline where Phil Connors realizes he is doomed to live the same day over and over and over. The plot is summed up in this article in Wikipedia. For Connors, Groundhog Day begins each morning at 6:00 A.M., with his waking up to the same song, Sonny & Cher’s “I Got You Babe”, on his alarm clock radio, but with his (and only his) memories of the “previous” day intact, trapped in a seemingly endless “time loop” to repeat the same day in the same small town.

Connor has this exchange in the film.

Phil: What would you do if you were stuck in one place and every day was exactly the same, and nothing that you did mattered?
Ralph: That about sums it up for me.

And that brought to mind another famous Bill Murray quote…this time from Stripes.

And then depression set in.

So what is the point of these ramblings? Is it to impress you with my cerebral movie tastes? The point is that too many followers of Jesus are stuck in a Groundhog Day life of their own. They wake up every day and feel trapped in a repeating pattern of frustrating behavior. And then, depression sets in. Why is that?

Einstein was once quoted as saying that “insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.” I am not quite willing to concede that I was insane. But the truth is that for years I did approach my spiritual life the same way everyday while somehow expecting different results.

I would make a mistake (that is politically correct for sin) and I would convince myself that I would never do that again. I was grateful that the consequences were not worse. I was determined to stay far, far away from that sin. And then before I know it I had forgotten the lesson and I would awaken each morning to my own version of Groundhog Day. The Apostle Paul wrote about this very thing (not the giant rodent part, but the repeating behavior part) in his letter to the Romans.

I decide to do good, but I don’t really do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway. My decisions, such as they are, don’t result in actions. Something has gone wrong deep within me and gets the better of me every time.   (Romans 7, The Message)

Wow…can I relate to that. A bit later Paul writes…I’ve tried everything and nothing helps. I’m at the end of my rope. Is there no one who can do anything for me? Isn’t that the real question?

That is the real question. And there is a real answer offered by Paul.

The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does. He acted to set things right in this life of contradictions where I want to serve God with all my heart and mind, but am pulled by the influence of sin to do something totally different.

So what can you do to get out of this sin spiral?

Nothing.

Wait! Don’t let depression set in. This is good news. You and I can’t do it. I am incapable in my own efficacy to escape my spiritual Groundhog Day. Only Jesus can enable me to escape this endless loop of frustration. Further advice from Paul follows in Chapter 8 of his amazing letter to the Romans.

But if God himself has taken up residence in your life, you can hardly be thinking more of yourself than of him.

Allow the truth of that verse to soak in. 

Want to get out of your Groundhog Day existence? Most readers of these humble ramblings realize they couldn’t deal with their sin separation from God on their own. We needed Jesus. So why do we think we can deal with our ongoing sin issues on our own? When the Father looks at me on my very worst day this is what He sees. 

Jesus.

That is step one. I don’t have to clean up the sin to please God. He loves me already because of Jesus. Step 2. I am learning daily to recognize that the Spirit of God has taken up residence in my life. I am learning that I am the one who limits His power by restricting access and control to my thoughts and actions. I am learning that I don’t need to wake up to the frustrating effects of repeated self-effort. I can wake up trusting God, trusting that Jesus has my sin covered and trusting that the Spirit of God will allow me to resolve that sin. Trusting God and what His Word says to be true allows me to escape the Groundhog Day syndrome. Instead I have a new day full of possibilities to thank God for His amazing grace.