My oldest grandchild is entering high school next fall. There is a mixture of real excitement and a bit of anxiety as he moves into that level. I wanted to share some things I wish I had known when I began that journey. Here are a few insights from your Papa often learned the hard way.

1.    I wish I had known that my high school years did not define me for life.

My teen years were a mixed bag of memorable highs and lows. Now I realize that I am grateful for what I once considered some of the difficult moments of my life. In many of those spiritual valleys you could not have begun to convince me that God was molding me or that those experiences could ever be of value.

Had I been the coolest guy or the best athlete I likely would not have developed a sensitive spirit to others. With the benefit of hindsight I can promise you that I am grateful for every refining difficulty and problem. Those difficult times helped me grow emotionally and spiritually. High school did not define who I would become and it does not define you either.

2.     I wish I had recognized consistently that every person is created in God’s image. And He loves them just as much as He loves me.

Sparky Anderson, a former Cincinnati Reds manager, once said that “you can never go wrong being classy.” And you can never go wrong being kind to everyone. Sometimes you will be tempted to ridicule or tease those who are less attractive, intelligent, gifted, or cool. Don’t do it. High school is the start of a very long journey. Some people seem to be leading the life race coming out of high school turn but there is a long way to go. The real winners know that life is a marathon and that God has a plan for that long race. Be kind to everyone. Jesus loves them. And so should you.

3.    I wish I had realized in high school that I needed to take responsibility for my own actions

Learn now to say these three sentences.

I was wrong.
I am sorry.
Forgive me.

And keep your “but” out of those statements. Don’t say “I was wrong ‘but’ I didn’t think it would hurt you” or “I am sorry ‘but’ I was having a bad day.”  Those are not real apologies.

It is so important that the friends you spend the majority of your time with share your desire to follow the Lord and love others. Your circle of friends influence your path.

Take responsibility. Live with integrity and kindness. That will make you unique in this culture!

4. I wish I had trusted that God had a plan for my life.

Every person has a God-designed destiny whether they believe it or not. Henri Nouwen wrote about living with that frame of mind.

“We seldom realize fully that we are sent to fulfill God-given tasks. . . . We act as if we were simply dropped down in creation and have to decide how to entertain ourselves until we die. But we were sent into the world by God, just as Jesus was. Once we start living our lives with that conviction, we will soon know what we were sent to do.”

Living out of who you are is liberating. The apostle Paul had some thoughts about such a life when he wrote to the church at Ephesus.

God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it. For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago. (Ephesians 2:8-10, NLT)

Think about that! You were rescued from separation from God by His grace. It was a gift that could not be earned. And you are a new creation, indeed a masterpiece for whom good things were planned from the beginning of time. God has a plan for you! When you trust these truths you are less likely to deal with self-image issues.

5.  I wish I had known that the most important decision I will ever make is who or what I worship.

Everyone worships something or someone. It can be money or power or fame or popularity or another person. We have a deep yearning to find our purpose and significance. If you don’t find that identity and significance in Christ you can unintentionally fill it with wrong things. Often those things are not inherently bad. But they can become bad things when they become the focus instead of Jesus.

It is less likely for these “things” to be wrong when you seek the kingdom of God first.

6)  I wish I had known that God’s grace is the key to freedom.

In high school I often felt that my performance was the key to my acceptance. I transferred that belief to my relationship with God. That was a spiritual stumbling block until I learned the remarkable truth of God’s grace. I finally learned that it was Jesus’ performance for me that makes me accepted by God and not my good behavior.

God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God.
(Ephesians 2:8, NLT)

I know that most of us have to learn the lessons of life the hard way. I am still learning after all of these years how to follow Jesus more consistently. He is so incredibly patient and loving as I sometimes stumble along. Add that to the list of things I wish I had known and believed when I was your age.

You are already demonstrating many of these things your Papa didn’t figure out till later. Enjoy this next season of life and know that your family loves you dearly. And God is always with you.