Author: Dave Burchett

Today is a bit of deja vu for me. I am in the middle of my real job which is television sports directing. This week I am working at a college basketball tournament. You may know that some of the humble ramblings appear at Crosswalk.com. I look at the credentials of my fellow bloggers on Crosswalk and I have to chuckle. Lots of doctorates and titles. Perhaps they haven’t noticed that my bio is filled with items like, “Dave is a member of Sam’s Club and once appeared on Wheel of Fortune.”

The deja vu moment came from the realization that it was during a similar March madness basketball tournament that I got the inspiration for what would become my incredibly modestly selling book, “Bring’em Back Alive“.  Here is an excerpt from the introduction.

My spiritual insights generally aren’t revealed during television broadcasts of women’s basketball. I suspect that hardly makes me unique. But inspiration came clearly and forcefully during a telecast of an NCAA Women’s basketball tournament game from Boulder, Colorado.

Let me set the stage for you. I am a television sports director. I call the camera shots that dictate what you see on your screen at home. Yes, I am the faceless guy you yell at to see this shot or that reaction. On this night an undermanned (or should I say underpersoned?) Louisiana State University women’s team was battling Colorado. And battling was the right word since LSU was down to only seven players who were dressed to play in the game. Five key players sat injured on the bench in civilian clothes. That was the background for my spiritual revelation.

I selected some shots of the tired players on the court. “LSU has fought gamely”, the announcers reported. “With only seven players on the active roster.” I took a shot of the five players in street clothes. “But when these five talented contributors are nursed back to health and you add a group of skilled recruits…LSU is going to be a powerful force next year.”  Then it hit me. We don’t follow that simple principle in the church. When we have injured and wounded players it is often too easy to ignore them and simply concentrate on recruiting new ones. I have watched dear friends walk away from my church “team” and I realized that my life and the body life of my church would never be quite the same. We lose the value of experience and depth that healing those wounded Christians would bring. I have wondered if we throw the term “church family” around a bit too loosely because I surely would pursue and attempt to heal a member of my genetic family that wanders away.

Do the math on my basketball example. If LSU returns seven players plus heals the five injured and brings in five recruits they have seventeen to choose from. If they discard the wounded they have only twelve players to enter the battle. How much talent and ability have we removed from the church by not aggressively seeking to find and heal our wounded lambs? And we must not ignore the uncomfortable fact that many injured lambs sit near us every Sunday. They have not wandered off physically but they have left us emotionally and are therefore rendered ineffective for the Kingdom.

That was written about six years ago. The volume of emails and notes that I get tells me we still have an enormous problem with our “injured” saints. I pray that the Holy Spirit will give us the heart to seek them and help restore wounded saints to the team. We need them. The body of Christ needs every single family member to be fully healthy.

Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son  into the world that we might live through him.  This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.  I John 4

Am I suffering from March “madness” to dream and believe this can really happen? It can. If we allow God to love us and love through us.

A clarification for those unfamiliar with the strange world of sports television. We are like Carnival workers with fewer tatoos (generally) going from one traveling show to another. I still have other freelance contracts and work. The SEC package was just special and will be missed. So no retirement for now. And no bailout from the government. Good thing because I am small enough to fail. So it is on to the next town to set up the Tilt-A-Whirl! If you really are concerned about me feel free to buy one or both of my books.

John Lennon of the Beatles once noted that “life is what happens while you’re busy making other plans”.  Life is happening this week as I wrap up a wonderful season of my career and life. For twenty-six years my life has been ordered by the rhythms of Southeastern Conference basketball. Starting in January of 1984 and every New Year since I have packed up and traveled the landscape of the SEC. This week at the Southeastern Conference Tournament my 26 year run of directing SEC games will end as the Raycom Sports contract expires. 

I loved this package and working for Raycom and their predecessors (SPI, Lorimar, Jefferson Pilot, Lincoln Financial). Losing something dear to you is always sad. But life has happened and I am choosing to remember twenty-six years of great athletes and great games. I have had the privilege of directing games featuring superstars like Shaquille O’Neal, Charles Barkley and Allan Houston. My tenure in the Conference saw five national championships spread among Arkansas, Florida and Kentucky. Colorful coaches like Wimp Sanderson, Dale Brown, Rick Pitino and Nolan Richardson prowled the sidelines. I have been blessed to be a part of this.

The games will go on next year. I will not be missed by many (if any) viewers. Charles DeGaulle once made this sage observation.

The cemeteries of the world are full of indispensable men.

I realize how blessed I have been to have had such a lengthy run. I know that I am not indispensable nor are my Raycom colleagues. But there will be some changes that make me sad and that will change the tradition of SEC television. For thirty years viewers have been treated to one of the great broadcasters in this business. Tom Hammond has built an amazing career of Olympic and network success. Yet he has always come home to SEC basketball every January. He worked Starkville and Columbia into his ridiculous schedule for one reason. He loves this conference and this package of games. Tom will wrap up his thirtieth season this Saturday in Tampa. He will be missed.

I am sad because Tom’s partner Larry Conley will also wrap up a great run of analyzing and promoting Southeastern Conference basketball. Larry will be missed. Basketball fans have had three decades of Deans in their living rooms. Joe Senior gave way to Joe Junior and both have entertained and informed generations of fans. I am sad because talented broadcasters like Tim Brando, Dave Neal, Barry Booker and Dave Baker will finish their run with Raycom Sports SEC basketball this weekend.

I am sad because I will not get to work next season with producer Roger Roebuck. He is a good producer and better man. I will remember previous tournaments as I watch the editing and creative wizardry of producer Dave Barringer displayed in the music open “Heroes”.I will miss working with the great Gary Clem at the tournament each year. I will have a 43 second moment of silence to honor my relationship with him.

I am sad because I know I may not get to work again with some of the best television crew members in the business. I am sure we will say the the same things that we do in high school, college and when we move to another city.

“We will stay in touch for sure.”

But generally we do not. I have been so fortunate to work with these world class professionals. A big part of the reason I have lasted twenty-six years is that these talented pros have made me look good. I know that. I realized long ago that I am a pretty good director when I have a really good crew. Go figure. For two decades I have looked forward to my annual reunion with these friends and colleagues. Enjoy their work this weekend. They truly are among the best in the country.

One of the great blessings in my life has been my relationship with Executive Producer Jimmy Rayburn. We started out together twenty-seven years ago doing basketball for USA Network. I have never worked for a better man than Jimmy Rayburn. His loyalty and integrity is legendary. A golden retriever would look disloyal compared to Jimmy. I have been honored to work with and later for Jimmy Rayburn.

I have the amazing privilege of directing the last Raycom SEC broadcast on Saturday. When we fade to black I will likely be emotional. But I hope that I will remember how blessed I have been to work in this awesome conference with great announcers and the best crew around. Not many guys get to put in 26 years on the same gig. We are going through the book of Ecclesiastes at our church. You might be surprised to learn that The Byrds did not write these original lyrics.

For everything there is a season,
      a time for every activity under heaven.
 A time to be born and a time to die.
      A time to plant and a time to harvest.
 A time to kill and a time to heal.
      A time to tear down and a time to build up.
 A time to cry and a time to laugh.
      A time to grieve and a time to dance.

What do people really get for all their hard work? I have seen the burden God has placed on us all. Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end. So I concluded there is nothing better than to be happy and enjoy ourselves as long as we can. And people should eat and drink and enjoy the fruits of their labor, for these are gifts from God.

So that is the plan. Be happy. Enjoy myself. Enjoy my colleagues, friends and fruits of our labor. Might even eat and drink a bit with the guys. And remember that these are gifts from God. I have been grateful for the chance to bring lots of great SEC memories into millions of homes. It has been a privilege.

 

 

 

Yahoo.com had a link right there on the front page with this intriguing title.

Qualities in a man that can predict lasting love.

I want to make it perfectly clear that I am not looking for a man with these qualities. My interest was to see if I brought any of those projected qualities to my relationship with the stunning Mrs.Burchett. I actually joined the Men Who Married Up group on Facebook so I can handle the truth. I am going to self-score to see how I measured up 34 years ago when Joni was deciding if I was a keeper. Author Mina Azodi came up with five different traits that she believes can predict lasting love.

Dating Trait #1: He Knows What He Wants

Any guy you’re serious about should be able to articulate his long-term goals and passions (sorry, fantasy football and Xbox don’t count). He can’t ally himself with you until he has a sense of how he envisions his life in the future… and how you fit in. “If a man has no idea what he wants to be when he ‘grows up,’ then it will be impossible for him to commit to you,” says Paul Dobransky, MD, founder of womenshappiness.com. Don’t assume he’ll work things out, because when he does, you may realize his ambitions don’t mesh with yours. “This mistake has contributed to the starter-marriage phenomenon, in which couples in their 20s and 30s suddenly realize they’re going in different directions and divorce at an early age,” says Dobransky. “It’s preventable as long as you’re both clear about your plans.”

Hmmmm. That is a tough one. I thought I had it figured out at that point in my life so Joni might have believed I had this trait. But I didn’t really know what I wanted in my early twenties.

Dating Trait #2: He Has a Sunny Outlook

A recent study led by the University of Oregon found that women who had upbeat partners felt more satisfied in their relationships and — this is huge — that the man’s level of optimism determined the relationship’s staying power. Not only is it nice to have someone help you see the silver lining of a situation that totally sucks, but cheerful guys are good at keeping things in perspective, so they don’t let little conflicts get to them and can go with the flow.
Along with having an optimistic POV, it’s also crucial that the guy you’re seeing can make you laugh. “It’s an important stress valve for any couple,” says Les Parrott, PhD, coauthor of “Trading Places.” “Having a sense of humor helps you weather the rough patches that you’ll inevitably encounter together.” It shows that he is able to let loose and doesn’t take things too seriously. Plus, you’ll have a better time together if you can see the funny side of things.

I scored really well on this one. Most people assume Joni married me because I made her laugh. I can’t argue with that assumption unless she had an odd attraction to bad 70’s hair and ugly polyester shirts with big pointy collars.

Dating Trait #3: He’s Open to Changing for You

It’s true you may not be able to change a man, but a guy should want to change for you. If a facet of his behavior irks you (for example, maybe he’s not attentive enough in certain circumstances), he should be game to hear you out, listen to how you’d like him to do things differently, and then act on those suggestions. “When a guy is truly in love, he is more self-reflective and will work on the aspects of himself that bother you,” says Diana Kirschner, PhD, author of “Love in 90 Days.” “Studies have found that successful married couples change each other quite a bit over time.”

Hate to spoil the party but a lot of guys are “willing to feign” openness to change during the dating process. I am not sure how predictive that is of future behavior. I would have scored pretty well on this prior to marriage but I reverted back to old patterns early in our marriage.

Dating Trait #4: He’s Still a Little Mysterious

The beginning of a relationship is always exciting because you’re just getting to know each other. But even after the newness wears off, it’s essential that a man keeps you guessing. “If you can never quite pin down what makes him tick, that’s actually a healthy thing,” says Kirschner. Although at first you might feel more bonded to a guy who shares tons of personal info with you, over time, you risk losing the intrigue that pulled you to him initially. You might start to see him as more of a friend than a romantic partner.

That just makes me chuckle. I think mysterious would never me a word used to describe me. Weird might work. Hiddenness maybe. But I don’t consider hiddenness to be a particularly attractive trait.

Dating Trait #5: He’s Responsible with Money

Besides giving you a heads-up about money-related conflicts you might encounter in the future (one of the topics long-term couples argue about most), how a guy handles cash reveals a lot about his character. “A man who doesn’t track his money shows a lack of patience and self-control,” says Dobransky. “In fact, guys who are financially reckless share many traits with men who cheat.” But you also don’t want to be with a tightwad. If a dude doesn’t splurge now and then, it may mean he’ll be stingy in other ways, such as compromising during a fight.

I was (and still am) a mixed bag on this one. Too generous at times and a little disorganized when it comes to financial discipline. When Joni met me she couldn’t have made a judgment on my responsibility with money for one very good reason. I didn’t have any.

Interesting exercise. I don’t think I was all that good a prospect for a long lasting relatonship based on these traits. After thirty-three years of happiness with my bride I think I might suggest a different list of traits to examine. My list of traits apply to men and women who are follower of Jesus. That has been the single most important predictor of our love lasting the years. Here is my list.

1) He knows who he is.

I believe that knowing who you are is far more predictive of success that what you want. Joni knew I was a follower of Jesus. She knew I was committed to the belief that the marriage vow is exactly that. A vow. She knew my values. Those things that defined us (faith, committment, values) gave us the foundation to figure out what we wanted over the years and to hang in until we did.

2) He knows who is in control

I completely agree (obviously) with the sunny outlook and sense of humor thing. But perhaps a better indicator of marital success for us was trusting God and believing that He had a plan for us that we would discover together. The mystery of the two becoming one in Christ works really well when you are willing to cede control to Christ.

3) He is open to growing in Christ and as a spiritual leader

Any man who understands who he is as a Christian will be much more likely become the kind of man hoped for above. When a husband seeks to become more like Christ he will love his wife well. You can’t help it.

4) He is always a lot transparent.

There is nothing more amazing than your spouse knowing everything about you and still loving you. Check that. There is one thing more amazing. A holy and righteous God knowing everything about you and still loving you because of Christ.

5) He realizes all of his blessings (including money) are gifts of grace from God

A man that understands that nothing is really “his” is a very good risk in my humble opinion. Rush Limbaugh takes a lot of heat for saying his talent is “on loan from God”. I am not sure what his heart attitude is when he says that but the statement is true. Everything from health to weath is on loan from God.

I think our marriage is still viable because I have slowly (Note from Joni – really slowly) matured in the truths listed above. My bride’s committment to her faith and values allowed me to grow in numbers two through five on my list. I am grateful to her for that patience and grace. No one can predict lasting love. For us the most important predictor was starting our journey with Jesus as the foundation of our marriage.

 

 

Today’s topic has real potential to rile up the spiritual hall monitors. I expect I will hear from many of them. Recently I talked to a pastor about depression and anti-depressants. He was resisting trying medication for his struggles because he felt he wouldn’t be having these problems if he were a “better” Christian. Some folks had told him that he should trust God with his sadness. I agree. But there is sometimes more to the issue and we, as fellow sojourners in Christ, do a disservice if we merely give depressed friends the “buck-up and do better” pep talk. The old give hundred and ten percent for Jesus challenge can make a sad and lonely person feel even lower and more worthless.

I have some experience with this topic. I am medicated and unrepentant. For years I went through emotional ups and downs that my wife described as my “funks”. She walked on relational eggshells when I was going through these moods. Finally I agreed to try medication. Within two weeks my bride turned to me one morning and uttered a sentence I will never forget.

“I like you again.”

She had never stopped loving me but I had become difficult to like at times. That was several years ago. I am delighted to report that she still loves and still generally likes me. Hey, it’s not a miracle drug!

The medication did a couple of things. It leveled out my moods and helped me to not obsess about problems or problem people. I have since researched the ADD brain and found that my brain scan would look different from most people. Regular readers of these humble ramblings just had a joint response.

Really? You are not normal? Who knew?

Moodiness and depression is often caused by brain chemistry that goes askew. In my case the chemical messenger seratonin was not properly regulated. The medication corrected that with pretty amazing results. Not only did my wife like me more (which was a rather huge benefit) but it also helped me discern which struggles were spiritual battles and which ones were simply brain chemistry issues. That was one of the most liberating experiences in my journey. For years I felt so guilty that I couldn’t shake these emotional blahs by trying harder to trust God with my mood. When my brain chemistry playing field was leveled I could recognize when the problem was truly in my heart.

My pattern before was predictable. Get sad. Try harder. Feel guilty. Listen to the old tapes telling me that I always do this and I always will. Get dog piled by Satan. Withdraw into hiddenness and sadness and grumpiness. Hard to imagine why my wife didn’t like me much during those times.

There will be some who read this and will judge me without knowing a thing about me. They will be muttering that if I really trusted God or understood doctrine like they understand it then I wouldn’t need the crutch of medication. I think they are full of something less than grace.

Depression can be many things. Medication may not be the answer for everyone and it is not the only tool in the healing toolkit. But it can be a tool that is helpful. I would ask those who are so critical of these medications to answer this question.

If your cholesterol is too high does it show a lack of trust in God to take medication to lower those levels? Could God not lower your LDL level without the crutch of medication if you simply trusted more? I absolutely believe that God can do that. But I would still do what is medically prudent while believing that God is ultimately in control of my health. My brain chemistry is stable enough to know that just makes sense.

Why is brain chemistry viewed as being different from any other medical condition? I suspect that many who do not struggle with this issue find it easy to believe it is not real. But I can testify that for some people it is real. My cholesterol is excellent. I wonder how that person with bad LDL levels would respond if I judged their cholesterol issue as showing a lack of faith and discipline?

“Why don’t you mix in some vegetables and trust God to push away from the dessert buffet once in a while? And by the way, don’t be afraid to trust Him to lift your keister off the couch and get some exercise!”

I think some might take offense to that approach. Yet that is how those who deal with the confusing issue of depression feel when people judge their lack of faith to overcome their blues.

Every person who wanders if their struggles might be a brain chemistry issue should find a competent and trusted doctor to evaluate their particular situation. I distrust any doctor who is like an anti-depressant Pez dispenser. Ask those who love you and have your back what they think. One of my issues before medication was an inability to see myself accurately.

Some people need medication and counseling. Some need counseling alone. We all need to be loved and nurtured through God’s Word to walk through the valleys of life. Paul told us to “rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn”. We need to walk alongside those who are sad and lonely and depressed. And I know that is not easy.

My heart is sad when I see people who are too proud to seek help. Some are deluded by well meaning Christians to believe that trying medication shows a lack of faith. In the current issue of Christianity Today Joel Scandrett writes these words.

Antidepressants are a boon to those who truly need them, but they are not a panacea for the human condition.

Well said. You need to trust Jesus for forgiveness of sin. You need to understand that you are a new creature in Christ and that the Holy Spirit gives you the power to overcome sin. But don’t let a physical condition hinder your spiritual growth because of lack of understanding or pride. The medication helps me. What helps the most is the truth of God’s Word.

God is (my) refuge and strength,
      always ready to help in times of trouble. (Psalm 46, NLT)

Amen. And to all of the spiritual all monitors I regret to inform you that my cyber mailbox is full. What unfortunate timing.

Over the past two years I have lost about thirty pounds. When asked how I used to joke that I had a radical new diet book idea called “The Burn More Calories Than You Consume Diet”.

Now I realize that I was on the cutting edge of dietary research! I could have penned that book and finally achieved my dreams of writing a bestseller. Admittedly I would have had to add a bit of filler since the entire book could have been summarized with the phrase “eat less, exercise more”. Now a group of sober people with doctorates and lab coats have carefully evaluated all of popular diets and published their findings.

“The hidden secret is it doesn’t matter if you focus on low-fat or low-carb,” said Dr. Elizabeth Nabel, director of the National Heart, Lung and Blood Institute, which funded the research. Limiting the calories you consume and burning off more calories with exercise is key, she said. The study, which appears in Thursday’s New England Journal of Medicine, was led by Harvard School of Public Health and Pennington Biomedical Research Center in Louisiana.

See? I was right! You don’t have to go to Harvard to have a keen sense of the obvious. In fact, I suspect an elite education can be a real hindrance to that endangered skill. We seem to take comfort in making the simple complex. Perhaps if we make dieting so complicated as to be impossible then it becomes less guilt inducing to simply give up.

I wonder if we do the same thing in our journey with Jesus? Go into your local Christian bookstore and look at the volumes and volumes of books about how to follow Jesus correctly. There are over 85,170 titles that come up under Christian Living at Amazon.com. Without my modest contributions there would only be 85,168 choices to confuse you. I am not saying the Christian life is easy. Clearly it is not. But I do wonder if we have made it so complex that we give ourselves an excuse to give up.

Noted theologian and lawn mower racer Dave Barry once wrote that you “you can only be young once but you can always be immature”. We are only new believers in Jesus once but I am sad that so many remain immature in their faith for years and perhaps a lifetime. There are all kinds of books and articles about fixing that problem. We read them and do better. For awhile.

Perhaps that is the real problem. We have made the simple complex. I have written at length about the importance of understanding theology. We need to understand the Gospel and what happens theologically when we put our faith in Jesus. But after that I wonder if the enemy doesn’t revel in complicating our journey? Jesus gave this not so complicated command several times in the Gospels.

Follow me.

That’s it. Any questions? Good night everyone! I found nearly three dozen times in the Gospels that this simple command appears. A sampling…

“Come, follow me,” Jesus said, “and I will make you fishers of men.”  Matt 4:19

 But Jesus told him, “Follow me….   Matt 8:22

 “Follow me,” he told him, and Matthew got up and followed him. Matt 9:9

“If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.  Matt 16:24

Then come, follow me.”   Matt 19:21

Finding Philip, he said to him, “Follow me.”   John 1:43

When Peter was concerned about the one who would betray Jesus he was simple told to do this task.

“As for you, follow me.”  John 21:22

Peter tried to make it complex but Jesus was keepin’ it real and very simple when he told Peter to “follow me”.

 In John’s Gospel we read this.

My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me.

So perhaps we should simplify. Quit trying so hard to figure it out in our own strength and ability. In the immortal words of Forrest Gump…”I’m not a smart man”. But like Forrest I do have a keen sense of the obvious. I have surmised (brilliantly) that Jesus is asking me to follow Him. The rest of it we will figure out together.

Facebook is all the rage these days. I am sure that some of these young whippersnappers resent the invasion of the Baby Boomers to the social network scene. Deal with it. I am enjoying catching up with old and new friends.

One of the things I love about Facebook are the status updates. Some people ponder really deep and thorny issues like this one from my friend Robin.

Why PopTarts, why do you only come in non-resealable pkgs of 2? Shouldn’t I have the choice to eat just 1 Tart w/out sacrificing the freshness of others?

That is just one example of the inequities of life that need to be addressed and only a few men like Robin have the courage to ask those tough questions. Shouldn’t a country that can put a MAN ON THE MOON be able to package PopTarts in freshness saving single packages? Why isn’t there outrage over this injustice?

Some use the status updates for mundane reports about going to work or doing laundry. Some status updates are funny.

Jeff is doubling the recipe and setting the oven to 700 degrees.  That actually makes sense to a guy. The same friend recently wondered this.

Jeff is wondering if you have ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations? 

Think about it. Not quite right friend John posted this after waking up from minor surgery.

John is back up again after his anesthesia reboot. Noticable changes: I can list all the players for the 1937 Cleveland Indians, but I can’t say the word “spiquet”. 

Hopefully John will have a full recovery and will be able to say spiquet again very soon. If not I am sure he will have a community of friends to help him say that often used word. 

But my favorite Facebook moments are when friends share a slice of life that is real and sweet. High school friend Yolanda shared this moment yesterday in her status report.