Author: Dave Burchett

Everybody’s busy with their own situation
Everybody’s lost in their own little world
Bottled up, hurried up trying to make a dream come true
They don’t understand
Everybody’s living like there ain’t no tomorrow
Maybe we should stop and take a little time
‘Cause you never really know what your neighbors going through
They don’t understand

I remember driving away from one of Joni’s early doctor appointments after her breast cancer diagnosis. Joni was driving her car as I followed her. She was distracted (imagine that) and missed her turn. She drove forward to the next opportunity to turn left and double back. Because she temporarily blocked the left lane a guy laid on his horn and started gesturing. I remembering thinking that this guy was not a quality human being (rough translation). I wondered if it would make a difference in the attitude of this, uhhh, not really nice homosapian if he knew what was going through my wife’s mind. He was busy worrying about his 20 second delay as she was thinking about her health, her family, her job, and maybe her life. So I try to step back, breathe, and ask for patience.

Finally, I look in the mirror. What I see there is a man who is capable of nearly everything I get angry about with others. And I am humbled again that somehow God is patient with me as I work this out. Regular readers know of my admiration for the group Casting Crowns. The song “Who Am I” comes to mind in this context.

Who am I?
That the Lord of all the earth,
Would care to know my name,
Would care to feel my hurt. 

Take a moment to meditate on that. Then take a moment to meditate on a later verse.

Who am I?
That the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love
And watch me rise again.

That God sees my sin and looks on me with love is mind boggling. How can I accept that love and not at least attempt to offer it to others? Because there is not a (Christian cussing warning) dang thing that I have done to deserve mercy like that. From a human perspective that person who incites cynicism probably doesn’t “deserve” grace. But did you? Did I?

Not because of who I am,
But because of what you’ve done.
Not because of what I’ve done,
But because of who you are.

So I guess that is the game-plan of how I try to not get hardened and cynical. Realizing who I am (a sinner) and what He has done. Focus on the One who understands rejection and suffering. Realize that others may be enduring real trials of their own. And understand that the God who sees my sin still looks on me with love.

On some days I execute the game-plan better than others. But that doesn’t mean it is not a good plan. It just means I have to spend more time in the playbook and with my Coach.

We go through the same routine every time something tragic happens. Yesterday New York Yankees pitcher Cory Lidle died in a plane crash and we all stop to give lip service to “what’s important” and “the things that matter”. And within hours or days we are right back screaming at bad drivers and fuming in long lines at the grocery. Most of us do not want to think about the only thing that is certain in our lives. Our mortality. I wrote about that topic in an earlier post. It seemed like a good time to be a good citizen and recycle .

A simple new test is designed to calculate the odds for me still being alive in four years. That’s right. I can tally my score for the twelve predictive categories and decide if that investment in a five year bond is really a good idea. So I took the test and the results are in.

According to this measuring stick it looks like I will accomplish my goal of living long enough to be a problem for my children. The mortality calculator (that sounds dark) was developed by researchers at the San Francisco Veterans Affairs Medical Center. The researchers developed the scale after studying 12,000 patients and then applying those findings to 8,000 more to chart the reliability of their GRI (Grim Reaper Index – that is my acronym, not theirs). This is a test where you hope for a very low score. A zero to five score for an over fifty respondent will give you a 96% chance of seeing 2010. I scored a sparkling 2 on my GRI! I was penalized two points just for being male.  I cannot figure out how to circumvent that risk. Those who tallied 14 or more points have a 64 percent chance of dying in the next four years. If you want to know your potential fate you can take the test and calculate your GRI score. So what does this mean to me as average Bad Christian guy?

Not much. Whether I have forty years or four years or four months or four days really should not affect how I live as a follower of Christ. I have been knee deep in the mortality of my fellow human beings recently. My dear friend Trisha died in early January. A television associate died in an accident in August. Both were my age or younger. So even if I am in the ninety-sixth percentile there are statistically still four of us in a sampling of one hundred that will be dead by 2010. “Couldn’t be me,” says my bulletproof brain. “Sure it could,” replies the teeny and rarely heard common sense cortex buried deep below the machobellum section of my brain.

So how then should we live? Like Paul and Peter and John and the rest of the early followers of Christ. With an air of expectancy that tomorrow (or the rest of today) is not guaranteed. To live with a sense of priority and passion about what really matters. Do you have someone that you want to tell that you love them? Tell them now. Is there a relationship that needs repairing? Repair it now. Someone that you know you have to forgive? Please forgive them now by faith and the enabling power of the Holy Spirit. Still angry with a parent or sibling? Deal with it now. Have you slipped away from God for some reason? Come back now.

What if I told you that you have exactly one week to live? Write down what you would do and what you would say in those precious seven days. And then start doing those things now. Because no matter how stunning your score might be on the Grim Reaper Index it is no guarantee of anything past this moment. I know that not every recipient of such communications are receptive or even civil. But at the end of the day we are accountable before a Holy God only for our actions. They are accountable for theirs. Do the right thing and trust the rest to Jesus.  Boomers get ready. In the time frame of eternity all of us will be going home very soon.

Part of the great comfort I felt when my Father died two years ago was knowing that everything that I wanted to say to him had been said. I believe that if something happened to me before I get to write another word that my sons would have that same peace. They know they are loved by me and I am loved by them. They know how proud I am of them as men and as followers of Jesus.

I hope you score well in your GRI. I wish you health and blessings. But my fervent prayer is that you will test better in your readiness to peacefully leave this planet. I pray you will have the courage to say what you want to say and need to say. Make peace with those you feel a lack of peace with in your soul. What a wonderful way to prepare to meet your Savior face to face. Paul’s words to the church at Colosse offer a few thoughts on getting ready.

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.   Colossians 3  NIV

I pray that I can write those words across my heart and begin to live them out. If I can follow those inspired thoughts I will not only make the most of the time I have left but I will also be prepared for the eternity ahead. C.S. Lewis wrote this about where our focus should be to make a real impact for Christ.

“If you read history you will find that the Christians who did most for the present world were precisely those who thought most of the next. It is since Christians have largely ceased to think of the other world that they have become so ineffective in this.”

Over the weekend I watched The McLaughlin Group. I had not seen the show in years but not much has changed. Moderator John McLaughlin fires out discussion points in staccato fashion to the panel. McLaughlin shouts out the topic and then the name of the person chosen to respond first. If we had our own version of the show this week (The BadChristian Group) I suspect the opening salvo might go like this…

Topic Number One…FORGIVENESS…is it even possible?

DAVE???

This is an important subject. One of the most read articles I have posted dealt with forgiveness and I am going to revisit some of that blog today. I have written a lot about the Amish response to the tragic shootings in Pennsylvania. Those gentle people have taught me a lot about the topic. Yes it is possible. But it is very difficult to forgive if you have never been forgiven. For Christians this is a central theme of our faith. We have been forgiven. So what do we do with that gift of forgiveness? To paraphrase the not always ready for family time comedian Ron White…

We have the power to forgive…we just don’t have the ability.

I think that we have generally done a poor job of teaching forgiveness. Here are a few misconceptions that I personally had about forgiveness.  This is from a chapter on forgiveness I wrote about in “Bring’em Back Alive – A Healing Plan for those Wounded by the Church”.

• Forgiveness is not condoning or diminishing the offense. Forgiving a person who has wronged you does not mean they are “off the hook” for any consequences or judgment that may result from their actions. Forgiveness is a personal act of your will that releases the other person from your condemnation. At that point you have been obedient to what Jesus asks of you…the other person is responsible to God for their response. By extending forgiveness you are not saying the offense was insignificant or unimportant. You are saying that you trust God to see that justice is dispensed according to His Holy judgment and timing.
• Forgiveness is not forgetting. The old forgive and forget admonition was one of the biggest barriers I faced in my journey to learn how to forgive. You know the old mental challenge to not picture an elephant in the room. You can’t do it. Instantly the image pops into your mind. The more I tried to be spiritually mature and try to forgive and forget the more my offender became the “elephant in the room.” That person or event was all I could think of. Over time you will think less and less of the hurt and/or the one who administered same. C.S. Lewis wrote to a friend late in his life. “Dear Mary…Do you know, only a few weeks ago, I realized suddenly that I had at last forgiven the cruel schoolmaster who so darkened my childhood. I had been trying to do it for years.” To try to achieve a state of instantaneous forgetfulness is setting yourself up for failure and frustration.
• Forgiveness does not require reconciliation. Certainly it is a worthy goal to have the gift of forgiveness lead to a restoration of a damaged relationship. But it takes two people to reconcile and you have no control over anyone’s response except your own. The other person may not respond graciously. They may not be ready to accept forgiveness or acknowledge their part or even desire to be reconciled. Again, we have done what is required of us by extending the grace of forgiveness. Reconciliation is not required  to be obedient to the command of Jesus.
• Forgiveness is an act of the will and is not a response to feelings. We must choose to forgive and trust the Jesus who forgave us to eventually change our feelings. We may not “feel” like forgiveness has transpired. If you decide to wait until you “feel” like forgiving or that the other person must make the first move you will remain spiritually stuck. We have to make the choice and then wait for God to honor the choice.  We make a choice to forgive and then we have faith that the Holy Spirit will reshape our feelings over the course of time. Forgiveness requires choice and faith, just like every miracle that comes from God. 
• Forgiveness is not ignoring or excusing the offense. There is nothing to forgive if we have not been wronged. Jesus is not asking us to ignore reality. He is asking us to acknowledge how much we have been forgiven and to extend the same courtesy to others. Forgiveness is acknowledging the offense without cover-up or excuse and still choosing to forgive.
• Forgiveness is not denial of the hurt. Pride will often cause us to “not allow the person who hurt us the satisfaction” of knowing we are wounded. That is absurd. Acknowledge the reality of the injury but make the choice and decision of your will to be healed. 
• Forgiveness is eliminating revenge as an option. Lewis Smedes makes a brilliant point about revenge. No matter how much we try “we cannot get even; this is the inner fatality of revenge.” When you start trying to get even you have lost. How many times must I gossip about you to get “even” for the hurt you caused me? When is the scale even? Or do I need to have the scale tip a bit toward me to be satisfied? What a self-defeating pursuit that becomes! And the truth proclaimed by Josh Billings is “there is no revenge so complete as forgiveness.”
• Forgiveness means understanding that hurt is part of the faith tour contract that we signed when we decided to follow Jesus. Author David Stoop notes that, “People choose the Path of Bitterness when they get caught up in trying to understand the reasons for the offense. They think, if only they could understand why the other person did what he or she did, they could get over it
  and let it go.”  I have three words for that approach….does not work.

 The late author Lewis Smedes wrote powerfully about forgiveness. He often spoke of how only forgiveness can “release us from the grip of our history.” We cannot change an abusive upbringing. We cannot alter dysfunctional theological training that denied grace. We cannot simply deny the hurts that have been visited upon us and be spiritually free. Only forgiveness can release us from the grip of these real and historical events.

Forgiveness is not the cop out of weak people. The reason you need to forgive is that our Designer knew that is the only way for you to be fully healed. You have a Savior who understands the pain of betrayal. So I am going to ask you to be selfish and forgive. Say what? I have heard bitterness described as drinking rat poison and hoping the other person dies. The comparison works for me. It is vital to your spiritual well being to forgive others. When you follow the directive of Jesus and forgive you are free to concentrate on the blessings in your life. Is this easy? Of course not. I believe that forgiveness is the single hardest thing that Jesus asks us to do. But He knows how important forgiveness is for own growth. Will you go to Hell if you die today without forgiving another person? I don’t believe that for a moment. The redemptive act of Jesus on the cross literally has you (and sins past, present, and future) covered. But why would you want to live in anger and distress when Jesus has something better for you? The Apostle Paul’s wrote these words in Colossians.

Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. Col 3  NIV

The movie “End of the Spear” chronicled one of the most amazing stories of forgiveness in recent memory. A group of missionaries were killed by the Waodani tribe in Ecuador. Their wives forgave them and went back to minister to their husbands killers. One of the things that really struck me from the movie “End of the Spear” was that in the Waodani language, there is no word for forgiveness. The concept was so foreign to that culture that no word had ever been coined. In our Christian culture we have the word but we too often lack the theology to apply it. Pastor Tommy Nelson says you can’t live a successful Christian life without good theology. And I believe understanding the Biblical teaching about forgiveness is one example. Jesus told the parable of the unforgiving debtor.

Then Peter came to him and asked, “Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?”

 “No, not seven times,” Jesus replied, “but seventy times seven!  “Therefore, the Kingdom of Heaven can be compared to a king who decided to bring his accounts up to date with servants who had borrowed money from him. In the process, one of his debtors was brought in who owed him millions of dollars. He couldn’t pay, so his master ordered that he be sold—along with his wife, his children, and everything he owned—to pay the debt.  “But the man fell down before his master and begged him, ‘Please, be patient with me, and I will pay it all.’ Then his master was filled with pity for him, and he released him and forgave his debt.

  “But when the man left the king, he went to a fellow servant who owed him a few thousand dollars. He grabbed him by the throat and demanded instant payment. “His fellow servant fell down before him and begged for a little more time. ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it,’ he pleaded. But his creditor wouldn’t wait. He had the man arrested and put in prison until the debt could be paid in full.

 “When some of the other servants saw this, they were very upset. They went to the king and told him everything that had happened. Then the king called in the man he had forgiven and said, ‘You evil servant! I forgave you that tremendous debt because you pleaded with me. Shouldn’t you have mercy on your fellow servant, just as I had mercy on you?’

One observation from the parable. The debtor never acknowledged the obvious. That there was no way he could repay this debt. He made the ludicrous promise that he would “pay it back”. So the big lessons from the parable are not only extending mercy but realizing how much we have been forgiven. While I will likely never commit an act of brutality like the shooter in Pennsylvania I nonetheless had a debt of sin that could not be repaid. When I realize how much I owed I should be overwhelmed with gratitude that the debt is paid. And from that well of gratitude I should be able to extend that mercy to others. Thomas Fuller observed that “He that cannot forgive others breaks the bridge over which he must pass himself; for every man has to be forgiven.” 

To be honest, I still don’t know if I could respond as well as the Amish saints to their heartbreaking tragedy. But I do know one thing as I write these thoughts today. I have seen that it is possible. So I know I have the theology and, with Christ, the ability to forgive like those men and women. The hard truth is that a Christian who is not forgiving is a Christian who is not growing. I am going to pray for me (and for you) to make the choice to forgive. God will do the rest.

I like Shawn from Ohio. Perhaps I am predisposed to like him because he is from by beloved Buckeye State. But I think the reason I like Shawn from Ohio is that he responds to difficult topics at this site with civility. Yesterday I asked three questions. One question was addressed to agnostics/atheists/skeptics. His answers were thoughtful. He made his points without attacking. Shawn thanked me for providing an opportunity for dialogue between those of faith and non-faith. I love communicating with people like Shawn. Will I change his mind? Unlikely. But at the end of the day I want to talk about Jesus to those who have seen only Christians. I wish that Shawn could look at any given Christian and see Jesus. But sadly that is not the case.

Here is a bonus comment from Shawn that really hit me in the gut.

About the Amish:  I wish more religions were like them. We, as a self-proclaimed Christian nation, have a lot to learn from this community. I think the rest of the world would have a more favorable outlook on the US if we behaved a little more like the Amish.

Ouch. And Amen.

The stories out of Pennsylvania have astounded people of faith and non-faith. The Amish have demonstrated a love, forgiveness, and commitment to the teachings of Jesus that have rocked me back on my heels. I am about to make a very odd transition (no surprise to regular readers) from a comment about people without electricity to a scene from a very silly movie. The scene is from the movie Dodgeball. The character played by Vince Vaughn has led a improbable group of misfits to the championship game of the world dodgeball tournament but some setbacks had caused him to throw in the towel. Lance Armstrong appears as himself and offers this commentary.

Lance Armstrong: Hey, aren’t you Peter La Fleur?
Peter La Fleur: Lance Armstrong!
Lance Armstrong: Yeah, that’s me. But I’m a big fan of yours.
Peter La Fleur: Really?
Lance Armstrong: Yeah, I’ve been watching the dodgeball tournament on the Ocho. ESPN 8. I just can’t get enough of it. Good luck in the tournament. I’m really pulling for you against those jerks from Globo Gym. I think you better hurry up or you’re gonna be late.
Peter La Fleur: Uh, actually I decided to quit… Lance.
Lance Armstrong: Quit? You know, once I was thinking of quitting when I was diagnosed with brain, lung and testicular cancer all at the same time. But with the love and support of my friends and family, I got back on the bike and won the Tour de France five times in a row. But I’m sure you have a good reason to quit. So what are you dying of that’s keeping you from the finals?
Peter La Fleur: Right now it feels a little bit like… shame.

That is how I feel right now about my representation of Jesus. Don’t get me wrong. This is not legalistic self-flagellation. This is simply realizing that I have not been willing to fully allow Jesus to be Lord of my life. I want a Savior. That is cool. But I would prefer to be lord of my own life with occasional consulting gigs from God. The Amish have shown me what it means to allow the Savior to also be Lord.

The response of the Amish community cleared up another question for me. A few readers have asked me to counter some of the arguments from Sam Harris and his campaign against faith. I have had little desire to do that and I could not understand why. I feel like I could at least offer a few counter points to his polemic screed. 

I remember when some friends set up an appointment for Joni and me to meet with a direct sales company pitch person. He carefully set up his flip charts and presentation in our dining room and  started with this question.

Salesperson: “Would you like to earn more money for your family/”
Me: No.
Salesperson: “You are not interested in earning more money?”
Me: No. We have enough money. I am interested in working less hours and being home more.

Much to the horror of the friend who invited him the salesman immediately began packing up his lovely little presentation, shook our hands, and left. Why? Because we had nothing to discuss. He had his goal. I did not have an open mind. Buh-Bye!

I guess that is why I wonder about the value of arguing with Sam Harris. I am not saying that his comments should go unchallenged. I am only evaluating what my response should be. Most who subscribe to Mr.Harris’s views have made up their mind. Here is how my direct sales experience would look if Sam Harris came to my home.

Me: (After setting up my apologetic charts and power points) Do you allow any chance at all for supernatural phenomenon?
Him: No.
Me: Okay. Have a nice day.

That is a bit flippant but the point is that most people on both sides of the faith and non-faith aisles have made up their minds. That is why the Amish response to that horrible tragedy has so moved me. I would suspect these simple, dedicated believers have had more impact in one week than I could have in a lifetime of debating and arguing. Their amazing display of real faith was far more powerful than a clever argument And that is why right now I am feeling a bit like…shame. I get all angry and frustrated when critics slam me and my faith. My first impulse is to lash out in kind. But Jesus is saying “follow Me” and “be salt and light” to those you encounter.

The Apostle Paul was always prepared to make a defense. I whole heartedly subscribe to that strategy. I want to better understand what I believe and why. But I am wondering if my defense lacks power if I forget step one.

Love them like Jesus.

Today I would love your feedback on three questions that kept roiling my relaxation over the weekend. Of course I couldn’t think of asking three questions without a flashback to Monty Python’s Search for the Holy Grail.

Fellow Bad Christians will remember this exchange.

Arthur:     There’s the old man from Scene 24!
Bedevere:  What is he doing here?
Arthur:     He is the keeper of the Bridge of Death.  He asks each traveler five questions–
Knight:     Three questions.
Arthur:     Three questions.  He who answers the five questions–
Knight:     Three questions.

So here are my three, five, three questions. I await your wisdom.

Question Number One.

What is your favorite color?

Sorry…still in Monty Python mode. The real question relates to a post I wrote last week called Plane Speaking. It was written about the lawsuit filed against Victoria Osteen. Regular readers of these ramblings know that I am a stickler for civil discourse. So I graciously received a gentle rebuke on my thoughts from this reader.

• As a head of a nonprofit Christian ministry, I always have to temper what I would like to do as a Christian person and what my legal advisers are advising me to do as the head of the ministry. In a culture where ministries can be sued for millions of dollars, I cringe when the words lawsuit, lawyers or court are mentioned. I am not sure what is happening in this cause. So when we look on from the outside and look for statements from them saying, “please forgive me” or “I am Sorry”, we have to be aware that lawyers and the court may look at those statements quite differently. I know this puts heads of ministry in interesting situations on trying to balance their reputation, the reputation of the ministry and legal issues. I submit this with much fear and trembling at being misunderstood. I don’t think it is as easy to say that “I am wrong, I am sorry or forgive me.” On the other hand, maybe it is that easy. My heart trembles with the responsibility of Christians with such influence

I always want to be fair and grace filled in my comments. So this thoughtful response made me think that perhaps I was out of line in expecting some public statement from Mrs.Osteen. But the more I thought about that reasoning the more troubled I became. While I completely understand the fear of lawsuits (I have been threatened a time or two) I wonder if that should outweigh the fear of God? Should a legal strategy overrule an obedient response? What is our responsibility to represent the name of Jesus versus our responsibility to protect our ministry or personal assets? Have we allowed the law (in this case the lawyers and lawsuits) to keep us from extending grace? This is a larger question than the Victoria Osteen situation. I ask this with all sincerity.

What should our response be as Christians when we make a mistake (or perceived mistake) that could have legal ramifications?

Question Number Two.

I may not get a response to this one. Occasionally (depending on topics) I get visits and feedback from agnostics and atheists. The Sam Harris post brought many visitors to this site who do not believe in God. Mr. Harris often complains about the venomous response from Christians to his comments. I should let Mr.Harris know that the ugly runs both ways. I have had my intellectual capabilities questioned in some very unflattering terms by those who deny faith. But others who do not believe in God have been kind and even complimentary of the tone I try to set. I agree that it can be pretty easy to dismiss some who claim the title of Christian. Many skeptics write off faith as a crutch for the weak, uneducated, and naive. I can understand that even as I disagree. But what about those who do not fit into a category you can easily dismiss? I am genuinely interested if you (atheists/agnostics) think that all believers are delusional or intellectually inferior? There are many people of great intellect that are Christians. Many have become Christians who were not “brain-washed” as children. Millions who do not need an emotional crutch to survive well in the culture call themselves Christians. Others who have no cultural predisposition to this faith. Here is my question for those who deny faith.

Are you at all unsettled by the successful and intelligent people who endorse faith in God completely?

Question Number Three

I have been humbled and even a bit shamed by the amazing grace of the Amish victims in Pennsylvania. I wrote a post about that last week called Where do you see Jesus? 

The actions of the Amish faithful this weekend again caused me to stop and examine my own commitment to Christ. Here is an excerpt from a column written by Brian Dickerson in the Detroit Free Press.

• Charles Roberts IV, who killed himself after shooting 10 helpless schoolgirls, wasn’t Amish himself. But his milk delivery route included the farms of many Amish families, including that of 13-year-old Marian Fisher, one of those killed in Roberts’ rampage. So when the Fisher family made plans for Marian’s funeral, they naturally invited her killer’s widow and children. It wasn’t an impulsive invitation, issued in a moment of vengeful anger — Come see what that monster did! — but a reflexive recognition that Roberts’ survivors, too, were part of a community in need of healing. Two days later, when the shooter’s body was laid to rest, the mourners included dozens of Amish.

I know some dismiss the Amish response as weakness. I think you could not be more wrong. Their actions reflect a strength that is incomprehensible. It takes no strength to hate. It takes incredible strength to forgive. The Amish have made a choice. They made a choice to totally commit to Christ and to one another. They made a choice to not let hate and bitterness consume them. They made a choice to reach out and show a doubting world what the love of Jesus looks like. I am ashamed when I examine my life by comparison. No more jokes about the Amish from me. The Amish may feel free to make jokes about me. I have a lot to learn about what it really means to follow Jesus.

My final question is for self-examination.

Jesus, am I really willing and ready to follow You?

I rarely tear up when I read the newspaper. I probably should weep everytime I pick up that journal of human misery and evil. I suppose you become numb to the overwhelming scope of suffering. Two stories this week have generated wildly different responses. One story produced anger and disgust. The other story caused tears to well up in my eyes and humble self-examination.

I have had several people write to me and ask me to address the group of people in Kansas that pickets the funerals of fallen soldiers. I have hesitated to respond for two reasons. One, I do not wish to give this group any more exposure. Two, I always try to be gentle in my admonishment when I disagree with the views or actions of others. I cannot do that in this case. The group reached a despicable new low this week when they threatened to picket the funerals of those precious children who were killed in Pennsylvania. Cybercast News Service reported their “reasoning” for picketing the funerals.

• The Westboro group says the Amish school girls were “killed by a madman in punishment for Gov. Ed Rendell’s blasphemous sins against Westboro Baptist Church.
  “Gov. Ed Rendell — speaking and acting in his official capacity to bind the State of Pennsylvania — slandered and mocked and ridiculed and condemned Westboro Baptist Church on national Fox TV,” the group says on its website. Later in the story the group is quoted as saying that they are “continuing to pray for even worse punishment upon Pennsylvania.”

Their rhetoric and actions make me physically ill. Seriously. My stomach hurts as I read this stuff. Perhaps one clue about the group is that I have to pick up their quotes from news stories. My filtering software (developed for Christian parents) blocks their website as hate speech. I would be concerned if Christian software blocked my website. So I suppose the group will now pray for punishment on me for condemning them. Whatever.

It did cause me to examine what a more reliable source said about who is to blame when horrible things happen in life.

Jesus was asked about some tragedies that had occurred and it is interesting to note that He did not establish blame…

About this time Jesus was informed that Pilate had murdered some people from Galilee as they were sacrificing at the Temple in Jerusalem. “Do you think those Galileans were worse sinners than other people from Galilee?” he asked. “Is that why they suffered? Not at all! And you will also perish unless you turn from your evil ways and turn to God. And what about the eighteen men who died when the Tower of Siloam fell on them? Were they the worst sinners in Jerusalem? No, and I tell you again that unless you repent, you will also perish.”  NLT Luke 13

If Jesus had a chance to establish blame and did not do it then I am pretty sure that this Kansas group cannot decipher where His judgement might fall. Jesus did call for repentance as individuals. But He did not tie their spiritual condition to the tragedies that happen in life.

Jesus reserved His harshest condemnation for the religious. This group’s ranking of one sin as being God’s number one reason for retribution is unsettling. Would He be more likely to judge the Christians in my city of Dallas for their materialism and greed? How can I know? Perhaps a Holy God is more upset in how we (His followers) have squandered great wealth than in how some behave in their private lives. Is neglecting the widows and the poor less egregious to God than a parade in San Francisco? I am not smart enough to know. But Scripture seems pretty clear we should be taking care of those in need both physically and spiritually. And that we should love sinners as we show them grace and truth mixed together.

There was another time when Jesus could have let us know how judgment is dispensed here on earth.

Walking down the street, Jesus saw a man blind from birth. His disciples asked, “Rabbi, who sinned: this man or his parents, causing him to be born blind?”  Jesus said, “You’re asking the wrong question. You’re looking for someone to blame. There is no such cause-effect here. Look instead for what God can do.  John 9 The Message

And that brings us to the rest of the story. The story that made me cry. The people that have with broken hearts looked instead at what God can do. I have always had respect for the commitment of the Amish people. To be honest, I have viewed their lives as being a bit odd. Now I wonder if they have it far more right than I do. I say that after reading their response to the senseless killing of these innocents in Pennsylvania. As I thought about my wonderful sons I don’t know if I would have the capacity to respond like these servants of the Lord. The Dallas Morning News reported this reaction from the Amish community.

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  The Amish have been reaching out to the family of the gunman, Charles Carl Roberts IV, 32, who committed suicide during the attack. Dwight Lefever, a Roberts family spokesman, said an Amish neighbor comforted the Roberts family hours after the shooting and extended forgiveness to them. 
  
  
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  “I hope they stay around here and they’ll have a lot of friends and a lot of support,” Daniel Esh, a 57-year-old Amish artist and woodworker whose three grandnephews were inside the school during the attack, said of the Robertses.  Huntington, the authority on the Amish, predicted they will be will be very supportive of the killer and his wife, “because judgment is in God’s hands”.

Could I do that? Would I even consider such a response? Later in the story I read this.

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  Enos Miller, the grandfather of the two Miller sisters, was with both of the girls when they died. He was out walking near the schoolhouse before dawn Wednesday — he said he couldn’t sleep — when he was asked by a reporter for WGAL-TV whether he had forgiven the gunman.  “In my heart, yes,” he said, explaining it was “through God’s help.”

I have a hard time forgiving someone who says something negative about me. I am humbled by their faith. Another story in the Dallas Morning News had this amazing demonstration of grace,

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  Donors from around the world are pledging money to help the families of the five dead and the five wounded in amounts ranging from $1 to $500,000. The families could face steep medical bills. Though the Amish generally do not seek help from outside their community, Kevin King, executive director of Mennonite Disaster services, an agency managing the donations, quoted an Amish bishop as saying: “We are not asking for funds. In fact, it’s wrong for us to ask. But we will accept them with humility.” At the behest of Amish leaders, a fund has also been set up for the killer’s widow and three children.

Are you kidding me? Thinking of the financial needs of the killer’s family? Incredible. No, make that supernatural. That is beyond the scope of human response. And then the final story that brought tears to my eyes this morning. This report comes from the New York Post.

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  Staring down the barrel of Charles Carl Roberts’ gun, 13-year-old Marian Fisher and her 11-year-old sister, Barbie, bravely pleaded with the madman to shoot them and spare the eight other girls he was holding hostage. “Marian said, ‘Shoot me first,’ and Barbie said, ‘Shoot me second,’ ” said midwife Rita Rhoads, who had helped deliver several of the victims. “They were really trying to save the younger girls. It is a real reflection of their faith.”

So we have news stories about two very different groups. The group from Kansas and the Amish faithful from Pennsylvania. You tell me…where do you see Jesus?

Recently reader Texmom good-naturedly (I hope) encouraged me to get out from under the table and be more aggressive in my response to spiritual player hater Sam Harris. I found that resting comfortably under the table was a nice place to be after writing about Rosie O’Donnell, Jerry Falwell, Sam Harris, Madonna, and Victoria Osteen in recent days. But none of those topics are as frightening as today’s subject. I am going to write about the female brain. As usual when I address topics like this one I must post the following disclaimer.

Warning: The following post may (or, sadly, may not) contain humor. This blog was produced in a program where irony and satire are processed. May contain sarcasm fragments. If you are allergic to humor or attempts at humor please avoid this product.

This potentially incendiary topic came up as I rummaged through the Healthy Living section of the Dallas Morning News. Writer Leslie Van Wassenhove began the piece with this question.

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  True or false: At birth, the female brain is more mature than the male brain.
  
  According to neuropsychiatrist Louann Brizendine, it’s true: A girl has a literal head start over members of the opposite sex. In fact, her noggin will develop faster than that of a boy by one to two years, as Dr. Brizendine explains in The Female Brain (Morgan Road Books). This is just the first of many differences she describes that stem from the structure and development of the male and female minds. Dr. Brizendine traces the neurohormonal disparities between men and women from conception through post-menopause, offering evidence on why women may perceive and react to situations differently than do men.

Women may perceive and react to situations differently than do men? May? Are you kidding me? At any rate, I took the following quiz from that article and recorded my answers in parenthesis. I also added some reactions to the actual answers in italics.

How brain-savvy are you? Test yourself to see how much of The Female Brain you know:

1. Men have more brain cells than women. (False…no,  true…wait, uhh, no comment. Okay, False)

Answer: False; women have just as many brain cells, but they are packed more tightly into their smaller skulls. That clears up some of the issues. Women’s brain cells have less room to wander off and do stupid stuff. That is a clear advantage for the feminine mind.

2. Women have more neurons than men in the brain centers for language. (True…no doubt)

Answer: True; as a result, women are naturally more talkative than men, using approximately 20,000 words per day compared with the 7,000 uttered by their male counterparts. Even these numbers do not truly represent the disparity in the vocabulary between men and women. Using myself as the lab rat, I calculated that of my 7,000 uttered words nearly 5,000 of them were baseball and football fantasy league words, lyrics to classic rock and roll songs, meaningless words from Monty Python skits, and lines from movies like Airplane and Dodgeball. Another 1900 plus entries were work related. So I calculate that I enter the verbal fray with my bride armed with about 67 actual usable words.

3. During the three months after birth, girls’ skills in eye contact increase by more than 400 percent, while boys’ skills do not increase at all. (Sounds true)

Answer: True; girls are not exposed to the testosterone surge in utero that shrinks the neurological centers for communication, observation and processing of emotion in boys, so girls are better equipped from birth to develop skills that use those parts of the brain. See…we can’t help it that the testosterone tsunami shrinks our communication, observation and processing skills. Those guttural grunts are actually quite articulate given the handicaps we must overcome.

4. Women can’t develop the desire to have a child just by holding someone else’s baby. (False)

Answer:  False; infants produce pheromones that cause the female brain to produce oxytocin, a hormone that can create that desire. I have witnessed this phenomenom. Now I am observing that holding an infant causes both the female and male brain to develop the desire for your grown children to start producing grandbabies. Eligible sons…are you reading this?

5. Pregnancy causes a woman’s brain to grow. (False)

Answer: False; the brain shrinks in the last three months of pregnancy but returns to normal by six months after a woman gives birth. No comment.

6. Women tend to value a man’s appearance over his material resources and social status. (False)

Answer: False; in a study of 10,000 individuals in 37 countries, women in every culture looked for social and financial independence more than visual appeal in a mate. I have found that to be true. Woman are not nearly as shallow as men on the appearance issue in their mates. I am perplexed by my bride’s decision to pair with me. I missed the cut on the visual appeal and financial independence markers. What was she thinking?

7. Hugging, especially for women, releases neurochemicals that can increase trust in the hugger. (False)

Answer: True; after a hug lasting at least 20 seconds, the brain produces oxytocin that turns on the trust response and dulls more critical judgment. Interesting. Joni, if you are reading this please skip to number 8. Thank you.

I think I learned something important here. When I hug my wife she often gives me the dismissive pat after 10 seconds or so. I thought she was just being a bit impatient. Now I realize that she was  protecting her critical judgment. I will hold the embrace in the future to rev up that trust response and dull her critical judgment. How sad I am just learning this after 30 years.

8. Breast-feeding can make women absent-minded. (False)

Answer: True; breast-feeding can extend and intensify the mental fogginess that many women experience after giving birth. I still contend the mental fogginess can be traced directly to sleeping 4 hours a week.

So I got six out of eight correct. Much better than I would have predicted. And what is the value of this little exercise? Not much. It is fun. I think it is important to realize and value the differences in the minds of men and women. But for me the application about how our minds are wired is gender neutral. There are many references to the mind in the New Testament Scriptures. Here is the answer key for all of the statements to follow.

True.

Romans 8:5–7  Those who are dominated by the sinful nature think about sinful things, but those who are controlled by the Holy Spirit think about things that please the Spirit. If your sinful nature controls your mind, there is death. But if the Holy Spirit controls your mind, there is life and peace. For the sinful nature is always hostile to God. It never did obey God’s laws, and it never will.  NLT

Romans 12:2  Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.  Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.  NIV

Ephesians 4:23–24 …to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.  NIV

Phillipians 4:7  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.  NIV

Colossians 3:2  Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.  NIV

I Peter 1:13  Therefore, prepare your minds for action; be self-controlled; set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed. NIV

And the grand finale comes from the mind of Jesus.

Matthew 22:36–38  Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” Jesus replied: ” ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment.  NIV

I am fascinated by the difference in the minds of men and women. But I am challenged by the differences in the minds of those who seek the mind of Christ and those who do not. I want my mind to be different. Like Jesus.

That is an ambitious little project that should keep me busy for the rest of my days because I have a long, long way to go. And that is true. Final answer.