Author: Dave Burchett

Last Friday I published a gently read post from last year about the ridiculous warning labels that manufacturers feel compelled to print because we, the citizens of this planet, are stupid. How else could you explain needing to explain that you should remove the child before folding a baby stroller? If I neglected to do that I would have to put a warning label on my wife’s shoe. “Remove from derriere before sitting after folding child in stroller.”

I am really not excited to report that we are not getting any smarter but the folks at Michigan Lawsuit Abuse Watch are having a blast chronicling the slow and agonizing death of common sense. This year’s winners of the Wacky Warning Label Contest are in. The contest, now in its ninth year, is conducted to reveal how lawsuits, and concern about lawsuits, have created a need for common sense warnings on products.

So enjoy this years winners starting with the runners-up.

• A cocktail napkin with a small map of the waterways around Hilton Head, South Carolina carries this wise advice : Caution – Not to be used for navigation. Maybe Gilligan and the Skipper had a couple of Mai Tais and used the cocktail napkin on that three hour cruise.
  
  
• The $250 second place award went to Jam Sardar of Grand Rapids, Michigan for a label on a kitchen knife that warns: Never try to catch a falling knife. Everytime a knife falls I end up at the emergency room! What is wrong with these knives?
  
  
• Kirk Dunham of Seabrook, Texas gets an honorable mention for a warning label he found on a bottle of dried bobcat urine made to keep rodents and other pests away from garden plants. It says: Not for human consumption. That might be the most unnecessary label in history for yours truly. This human would use gloves to even touch this bottle.
  
  
• Another honorable mention goes to Lyne Anton of Elk, California who found the following warning label on a baking pan: Ovenware will get hot when used in oven. Really? I noticed pans get hot in the oven too. Maybe there is a trend here…hmmm.

But the grand prize winner goes to a heat gun and paint remover that produces temperatures of 1,000 degrees and warns:  Do not use this tool as a hair dryer. I would suspect that you would figure this out relatively quickly. “Honey, is that ovenware getting hot again? I smell something burning. Never mind, dear, I just melted my hair. I wish they would have warned me not to use a paint removing heat gun on my head.”

“Warning labels are a sign of our lawsuit-plagued times,” said Robert B. Dorigo Jones, M-LAW president. “An unpredictable legal system – in which judges allow anyone to file a lawsuit on almost any theory – has created a need for product makers to plaster wacky warnings on everything.” Humor columnist Dave Barry wrote about this trend. “Fortunately, I live in the United States of America, where we are gradually coming to understand that nothing we do is ever our fault, especially if it is really stupid.” 

And these warning labels are a sign that too many of us are unwilling to take any personal responsibility for our actions. We are the culture of “not at fault”. There is “no fault” auto insurance and “no fault” divorce. A child learns to say “it’s not my fault” right after they learn to say “no.” The “not at fault” mindset has crept into the body of Christ as well. For too many people nothing is ever their fault. We seem to have lost the ability to simply say “I was wrong. Please forgive me.” Instead we do the dreaded apology light. You know the syndrome. Some people can only say the words “I am sorry” if that phrase is immediately followed by a gigantic but (that would be one “t”).

Whenever I see or hear the gigantic “but” I tend to discount the apology.
I am sorry but I was having a bad day.
Forgive me for my words but I was really tired and not feeling well.
I shouldn’t have reacted but the other person was rude.
I overreacted but he pushed my buttons (whatever that means). Blah, blah, blah, blah.

We have allowed our American idea of rights to infiltrate the church. The confusing of rights and responsibilities is a dangerous trap for the body of Christ. Basically, being responsible for our actions is an act of love and obedience. Clearly we have a biblical responsibility to love one another. The Apostle John has some insight.
If anyone boasts, “I love God,” and goes right on hating his brother or sister, thinking nothing of it, he is a liar. If he won’t love the person he can see, how can he love the God he can’t see? The command we have from Christ is blunt: Loving God includes loving people. You’ve got to love both. (1 John 4:20-21) The Message

The command is indeed blunt. Noted Christian author A. B. Simpson once noted that “a good way to test your love to God is by the way you treat your brother…God is more concerned by my conduct toward my brother than by my prayers to Him.” 

Amen.

Jesus said something similar to the Pharisees: “Do you want to stand out? Then step down. Be a servant. If you puff yourself up, you’ll get the wind knocked out of you. But if you’re content to simply be yourself, your life will count for plenty.” (Matthew 23:11-12)  The Message

I want my life to count for plenty. I am willing to take responsibility for my actions. If I am stupid (make that when I am stupid) I am willing to say I am wrong, I am sorry, and no buts about it.

 

Disclaimer…today was a Doctor Date with the lovely Mrs.Burchett so there was no time to write.  I have retrieved a post from the early days of this blog when I didn’t have the dozens of readers that I now claim. If this post was a used vehicle it would be described as “gently read“. So please forgive the re-run. I hope to have some freshly baked blather on Monday. Have a blessed weekend!

Occasionally  I take another step in my inevitable march toward geezerhood. You know that stage of life where you get grumpy and tell people how it used to be back in the good old days. One of the things that advances me more quickly to that stage is the attempt to make life risk free.

A group called the Michigan Law Suit Abuse Watch has an annual contest to find the stupidest product warning labels. The Wacky Warning Label Contest is in it’s eighth year and they have uncovered some beauties. They have an agenda of course. They want to point out how ridiculous and numerous lawsuits have forced product manufacturers to post warnings that are really just common sense. They don’t feel a manufacturer should have to be legally responsible for people lacking common sense.

I agree.

But that hasn’t stopped the avalanche of unbelievable warning labels. Here are some winners from other years and then we reveal the current year’s crop. Remember, these warnings actually appeared on a product. The italicized comments are mine. 

• A label on a baby stroller warns: Remove child before folding.      This had to be a guy…now a single guy.
  
• A household iron warns users: “Never iron clothes while they are being worn”  Major League pitcher John Smoltz allegedly burned his chest when he tried to touch up a shirt…while still in it!  Again…a guy.
  
• A warning on an electric drill made for carpenters cautions: “This product not intended for use as a dental drill.” Let’s just pray this is just an imaginative lawyer. If you know differently please don’t tell me.
  
• The label on a bottle of drain cleaner warns: “If you do not understand, or cannot read, all directions, cautions and warnings, do not use this product.” If you cannot read then how in the…sigh…never mind.
  
• A warning on a pair of shin guards manufactured for bicyclists says: “Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover.” The invisible force field feature was just not dependable.
  
• A can of self-defense pepper spray warns users: “May irritate eyes”      Isn’t that the purpose of the product?
  
• A popular manufactured fireplace log warns: “Caution – Risk of Fire”    Please see above.

Now if we could have drum-roll (warning: drumsticks are for use with percussion devices and should not be used to remove ear wax)….This year’s winners are…

Third place was the following warning on a digital thermometer that can be used to take a person’s temperature several different ways: “Once used rectally, the thermometer should not be used orally.”

The $250 second place award went to Matt Johnson of Naperville, Illinois for a label on a popular scooter for children that warns: “This product moves when used.”   

And our Wackiest Warning Label for this year was found on a flushable toilet brush that warns users, “Do not use for personal hygiene”.

Ewwww.

So as I go into my grumpy geezer mode I will point out that in my day if I folded the baby in the stroller I was just a moron and not a victim of bad instructions. If I sprayed a product designed specifically to irritate eyes into my eyes I would not be surprised to experience that discomfort. In my day we would have assumed a fireplace log had a risk of fire!

You can not post enough labels to remove the risk of life. I think one of the dangerous and maybe even deceitful things that Christians communicate is that coming to faith in Jesus will make your life trouble free. Perhaps we should have a label with every presentation of the gospel.

       Caution – Jesus reports that “in this world you will have trouble”.  (Read the small print in Mark and John)

Coming to faith does not remove the trouble from our lives. Jesus is not a money back guarantee for perfect health, unlimited prosperity, and non-stop giddiness. Trouble is a part of life. Problems refine or ruin us. That is where Jesus comes in.

         I’ve told you all this so that trusting me, you will be unshakable and assured, deeply at peace. In this godless world you will continue  to experience difficulties. But take heart! I’ve conquered the world.  The Message  John 16

That is what I have discovered in my journey with Jesus. When life delivers the inevitable I can be assured, deeply at peace, and even unshakable. NBA star Alonzo Manning faced a career ending illness but his response was interesting. “Adversity introduces a man to himself.” I would suggest that adversity introduces a person to their faith. Does it stand up to the hard times? Real faith does. Jesus came to give us real life and to help us get through the risks that living life brings. Consider yourself warned.

 

This morning I looked out in the backyard and noticed that adopted dog Hannah was vibrating. She usually only vibrates when she meets a new friend so I got a little curious. When I investigated I found that Hannah had “befriended” a box turtle that had somehow found it’s way through our fences and into our yard. The turtle seemed considerably less excited about the relationship with Hannah but he/she did seem to sense that the vibrating lab was, at worst, annoying.

A few minutes later I checked again on the turtle. The turtle had managed to fall into our pool and it was apparent that land turtles cannot swim. I looked for the leaf skimmer but we had attached the brush instead. In the meantime the poor little thing was flailing, stretching it’s neck as much as it could to break the surface, and it was clear the turtle was doomed without some help. So I jumped in and saved the turtle. I don’t want to overstate the case. I wasn’t dressed in an Armani suit with Italian loafers. I was just in shorts and a t-shirt. But I got pretty soaked in the waist deep water the turtle had fallen in. I put the turtle back on land and he simply crawled away. I dried off and wondered how many people in America rescue box turtles from pools on any given day. I might be the only one in the whole country today.

Later I reflected on the turtle’s response. Once I put him down he just went on his way. No thank you. No nod of his scaly noggin. Nothing. And I didn’t care because I didn’t rescue the turtle with any expectations that I would receive anything. It was just the right thing to do because one of God’s creatures was in distress.

That response made me wonder about some of my motives when I reach out to others. If I don’t receive a response I sometimes get perturbed. If there is not acknowledgement of my “heroics” I feel hurt or angry. When I simply do the right thing for one of God’s struggling creatures should I expect anything in return? What is my reason for helping if I do? I know the turtle was incapable of a response. Maybe some of the people we come in contact are nearly as incapable of gratitude at that point in their journey.

I liked the turtle’s response. He made me think about why I serve the Lord. Is for Him or for me? If it is for Him I won’t care if I do the right thing and the recipient just goes on their way. Solomon wrote this in Proverbs.

Do not withhold good from those who deserve it,
       when it is in your power to act.  Prov 23  NIV

So next time you do a kind thing make that your reward. Just representing Jesus is thanks enough.

 

Today is my lucky day! I am reluctant to share this information with you because all of you will be hitting me up for loans, gifts, donations, etc. Today my cyber mailbox is offering me untold riches. My only decision is whether I should accept the offer from Mrs. Bernice Dos Santos, Dr. Philip Mensah, or Mr. Ming Yang. Maybe I will just be greedy and accept all three. Let’s compare the offers on this amazing day! My comments are italicized. First up is Bernice.

 

I am Mrs. Bernice Dos Santos a citizen Angola. I am 45 years old with two children. Presently residing in South Africa because of the political crisis in my
Country. I got your contact in strict confidence through South Africa Chamber of Commerce. (Good. I have always asked the South Africa Chamber of Commerce to be careful with my contact info. Good job, guys!)

I would Honestly want to seek for an immediate assistance from you, I Have $15 Million US dollars belonging to my late husband Mr. Desmond Dos Santos. Who was held bondage by the Rebels during the crisis and was letter killed. (letter killed?) I ran to South Africa refugee Camp when I Discovered danger to my life and that of my two children until the death of my beloved husband. He packed the above mentioned Amount in a METAL TRUNK BOX and deposited it with A SECURITY COMPANY in South Africa for safe keeping.

I am glad the money was safely stored in a METAL TRUNK BOX but how does that relate to little old me?

As it is, I have the intention of investing the money oversees and However needed a Foreigner who is capable of giving adequate assistance to me by the way of clearing the money from the SECURITY COMPANY and Thereafter forwarding it to your Account for investments.

Oh I get it. You need a random Foreigner supplied by the always cautious South Africa Chamber of Commerce to contact the SECURITY COMPANY. But what is in it for me?

I have nice percentage of the money for you. (I need a number, Bernice. I have other suitors today) If Necessary, Please do Feel free to ask me questions on this as I wait for your reply soonest.
Mrs. Bernice Dos Santos

 

Sorry Bernice. I have to tell you that I loved the fractured syntax and the use of ALL CAPS but you aren’t the only one who needs me desperately. Before I can reply soonest you need to take a number and I will get back to you. I feel like the commercial where the bankers are lined up outside the door clamoring to meet with me. Next offer please…

 

Dear Friend,  

I am contacting you from Abu Dhabi the capital of United Arab Emirates and I will be here for a while to attend a seminar which will last for a couple of days. I am Dr. Philip Mensah and I am a director with the Ministry of Local government and rural development back in Ghana. I must have ordered way too many magazines to be on every contact list in the world.

I am contacting you to solicit for your assistance in the transfer of us $35, 500,000.00 which we noticed that has been laying waste in the ministry since 2003. We know how to lay waste to large sums of money in our government too. That paltry 15 million in the METAL BOX may not be so inviting now Bernice. My man is talking some serious bucks.  Whacha’ got for me Doc?

Dear, (easy, we just met) we are only presenting you as a legal contractor with our ministry who is yet to be paid and we will apply for all the relevant documents of the said contract and then release into your nominated bank account(s) the said amount. Uhhhh…sure.

It is simple as we know the procedures over there. I’ll bet you do. All we need is your cooperation in the transaction and we will do the smooth transfer of the funds. Worthy to note here is that we have taking all the precautionary measures and as long as you are going to work under our instructions, there will not be any hitch. Suddenly I feel like I am in a bad movie…”Do what I say and no one gets hurt.”

We have decided to compensate your much needed assistance with 25% of the total sum while 5% will be to reimburse all expenses and 70% will be for us here. Now we are talking. No matter what position you are going to take in this proposal, be informed that we are still in service and there will be the need for you to keep this transaction to yourself.  No worries. No one reads these silly ramblings of mine. Your secret is safe here Doc.

I will be looking forward to your urgent response to this effect as I will be supplying you with all the relevant details of the transaction as soon as I hear from you.

Go read an old magazine in the waiting room…I have to see what Mr. Yang is offering first. 

Let me start by introducing myself. I am Mr. Ming Yang director of operations of the Hang Seng Bank Ltd. I have an obscured business suggestion for you. Excellent. Exactly what is an obscured business suggestion?

Before the U.S and Iraqi war our client Gen. Aadel Akgaal Bastaan who was with the Iraqi forces and also businessman made a numbered fixed deposit for 18 calendar months, with a value of Twenty Four million Five Hundred Thousand United State Dollars only in my branch. Upon maturity several notices was sent to him, even during the war which began in 2003. Again after the war another notification was sent and still no response came from him. We later find out that the General along with his wife and only daughter had been killed during the war in a bomb blast that hit their home. After further investigation it was also discovered that Gen. Aadel Akgaal Bastaan did not declare any next of kin in his official papers including the paper work of his bank deposit. And he also confided in me the last time he was at my office that no one except me knew of his deposit in my bank. So, Twenty Four million Five Hundred Thousand United State Dollars is still lying in my bank and no one will know of it. What bothers me most is that according to the laws of my country at the expiration of 3 years and 6 months the funds will revert to the ownership of the Hong Kong Government if nobody applies to claim the funds. Against this backdrop, my suggestion to you is that I will like you as a foreigner to stand as the next of kin to Gen. Aadel Akgaal Bastaan so that you will be able to receive his funds. 

That makes sense to me. Dave Burchett, the long lost Texas nephew of Aadel Akgaal Bastaan. Should be an easy sell. All they need is for me to send personal information to the attorney and it will all be “taken care of” with no risk to me. 

Please endeavor to observe utmost discretion in all matters concerning this issue. No problem. That is how Uncle Aadel would have wanted it. Should you be interested please send me your full names, private phone/fax and current residential address and finally after that i shall provide you with more details of this operation. Right. I will get right on that. 

How could I have been so lucky to have three offers just today totalling millions of dollars? And how could these crooks believe that anyone is gullible enough to believe any of this? These computer generated emails are laughable but apparently they find a random sucker now and then who actually believes the South Africa Chamber of Commerce selected them out of 4 billion people on the planet. Pick me! Pick me!

The bigger issue here is the danger of internet phishing to unwary users.  If phishing is a new term to you Dictionary.com defines it as…

A method of identity theft carried out through the creation of a website that seems to represent a legitimate company. The visitors to the site, thinking they are buying something from a real business, submit their personal information to the site. The criminals then use the personal information for their own purposes, or sell the information to other criminal parties.

I have to admit that I was unnerved when I first was targeted by phishers. I received a very official looking email that one of my internet accounts had been canceled because of attempted access by unauthorized users. This happened to be a Paypal account. I clicked on the link in that email. The website used the correct logo, had the same layout as the real one, and seemed legit. But something smelled fishy (pun intended) about the appeal. I went to my real account and it was very open. No transactions had been attempted. I had been phished. I am writing about this because many Christians tend to be a little too trusting and often naive about such tactics. Be wary. Be wise. And be discerning. Contact the company through your normal connections if you are not sure. 

Back to my windfall. What have I decided to do with my various offers of wealth? I think I will pass. My wealth is elsewhere. And the words of 1 Timothy trump my “friends” who desire to make me rich. 

Yet true religion with contentment is great wealth. After all, we didn’t bring anything with us when we came into the world, and we certainly cannot carry anything with us when we die. So if we have enough food and clothing, let us be content. But people who long to be rich fall into temptation and are trapped by many foolish and harmful desires that plunge them into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is at the root of all kinds of evil. And some people, craving money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many sorrows.

But you, Timothy, belong to God; so run from all these evil things, and follow what is right and good. Pursue a godly life, along with faith, love, perseverance, and gentleness. Fight the good fight for what we believe…Then no one can find fault with you from now until our Lord Jesus Christ returns.  1 Tim 6  NLT

So with all due respect to Bernice, Doc, and Ming I have decided to be content with what God provides. Go phishing in another pond.

P.S. Another edition of “Ask a Bad Christian” will be arriving soon. If you have a question hit the email link and ask away.

 

 

 

Therapy has always been a word that generates a good response. Massage therapy and aromatherapy have a nice, relaxing connotation. But I am retiring therapy from my lexicon of positive words after experiencing a round of chemotherapy this past weekend with my wife. Joni and I embarked on the first mile of our marathon stagger to survival. It is hardly a race.

Cancer, we are learning,  is a lot of hanging around hospitals, doctors, and nurses. The old cliche of “hurry up and wait” is the motto for anyone going through the monotony of long term treatment. When Joni was diagnosed with breast cancer in March the reality of that ugly word hit hard. But the reality of the reality settled over us Friday as I watched toxic chemicals drip, drip, drip into my beloved’s bloodstream. An Oklahoma newspaper recently ran a story on the weird logic of using poison for good.

“You’re putting poison into the system to kill those bad cells,” said Andrea Mosteller, a registered nurse who works in the Muskogee Regional Cancer Center. “It takes something that strong to do it.” Chemotherapy, Dr. Ravikumar Vasireddy explains, is a chemical that kills “fast-growing things,” terming it “cytotoxic,” or poisonous to cells. Cancer cells grow rapidly, making chemotherapy an ideal treatment for some types of cancer.

Some people claim to have no faith but you have to have a lot of faith in your doctors to allow them to hook up chemicals that are intended to kill cells, and those drugs can’t discriminate between good and bad cells. If the cell is fast growing it is their mission to hunt down and kill it. So the cells of the hair follicles are casualties alongside, prayerfully, the cancer cells. One of the first chemotherapy drugs was actually a derivative of the fearsome mustard gas used during World War I. Another drug Joni is taking is also used in rat poison. The drug is a both a rodenticide and a medical treatment. Not exactly a Certs commercial…”its a breath mint and a candy mint.” 

I sat at the side of my bride of almost thirty years and watched toxins drip into her bloodstream. These drugs can kill you or cure you. Joni would likely tell you after round one that the cure feels like it is killing you at times. I watched the drip of these toxins that we have chosen to allow with the belief that they will kill any dangerous, fast growing cancer cells before they can wreak havoc elsewhere in her body.

I couldn’t help but think how we Christians too often allow the toxins of sin to drip into our spirit and poison our joy, our relationships, and our influence for the Lord. The late author Lewis Smedes wrote powerfully about forgiveness. He often spoke of how only forgiveness can “release us from the grip of our history.” We cannot change an abusive upbringing. We cannot alter dysfunctional theological training that denied grace. We cannot simply deny the hurts that have been visited upon us and be spiritually free. Only forgiveness can release us from the grip of these real and historical events.”

So everytime you choose not to forgive just picture that drip, drip, drip of spiritual poison coarsing through your spiritual veins. Everytime you choose bitterness over joy listen for the quiet drip, drip, drip of toxicity racing to your heart.

We did not choose cancer. But we have chosen to accept that God is in control and He will somehow use our journey through this valley for His glory. We have chosen to trust the doctors who drip toxins into the body of my wife. I hope that you will not choose to let the toxins of bitterness, lack of forgiveness, pride, jealousy, and lust drip into your soul. Paul recognized the effect that these toxins have on our walk with Jesus.

And do not bring sorrow to God’s Holy Spirit by the way you live. Remember, he is the one who has identified you as his own, guaranteeing that you will be saved on the day of redemption.Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of malicious behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.  Eph 4  NLT

 The poison of  bitterness, rage, harsh words, and slander target the growing cells of the fruit of the Spirit. You can choose to cut off those toxins before they do their ugly work. And I pray that you will.

 

 

Just when I think they cannot come up with another ridiculous idea for a reality show they come up with another ridiculous idea for a reality show. I did a little research and found over 100 shows that could be called “reality” tv. There is actually a show called Reality Wrap-up on VH1 that summarizes all of the intellectual genius of these shows so that you don’t have to watch. What a blessing that is! For example, what if you missed the latest round of Date Plate, the show that pits two culinary Casanovas in a competition to win the stomach and heart of a beautiful bachelorette? The Food Network describes the riveting drama of this show.

They work within a budget — and against a clock — each cooking a special meal for a woman they’ve never met. The most delicious part is that the bachelors can see and learn about the bachelorette through a video greeting card, while she knows nothing about the men trying to woo her — except for their cooking skills of course! She chooses her Romeo based solely on the meal he makes for her — a truly tasty twist on dating television.

Okay, I confess. I won the heart of the stunning Mrs. Burchett with a lovely presentation of my reknowned dish that I dubbed “aide d’hamburger.” Less sophisticated gastronomes might call it Hamburger Helper but you wouldn’t get a girl like I did.

You likely know many of the reality shows. American Idol is the gold standard. Others are familiar such as The Amazing Race, The Biggest Loser, The Apprentice, Survivor, et al. But you might have missed a couple. Have you seen the latest episode, for example, of Filthy Rich Cattle Drive? The premise is that spoiled rich kids are thrown into a City Slickers like experience. Here is, honest to goodness, a real description of the first episode that aired on the E! network.

The adventure begins. The group, after arriving via private jet, is escorted to a pair of pickup trucks. After being divided into a Red Team and a Black Team, the gang engages in hot-rock massages, horse wrangling and cow-rectum checking. Don’t miss this one!

I have never been more grateful to report anything in my life as I am to let you know that I missed that episode and the next seven as well. The primary reason I passed on celebrity cowboy wannabes arriving by private jet and having uncomfortable bovine interaction is contained in the subtitle of the show. Filthy Rich Cattle Drive – Cows don’t care who your Daddy is!”  Bottom line – neither do I.

Spiritual themes are now working their way into the mix as well. The premise of God or the Girl revolves around four men who, for reasons known only to them, allow A&E to record their decision about joining the priesthood. The press release describes the show.

They’re bright, All-American guys with ambition to spare, hilarious friends and family, even girls they might want to marry. But beneath the surface, they are in turmoil trying to decide whether they’re being called in an entirely different direction. GOD OR THE GIRL captures the tension, terror, and triumph of Joe, Mike, Steve, and Dan, four 20-something men at the most important crossroads of their lives, as, over the course of this series, they decide whether or not to enroll in the seminary and become Roman Catholic priests, or to find the love of a woman and settle down with a family.

Excuse me. The terror of deciding between the priesthood and a family? That must be a either a very rough parish and/or a very mean girlfriend.

The irony of reality tv is the lack of reality. Reality is not found on shows like these. Reality is found in everyday life. I would love to see Christians (present company included) become totally committed to reality living for Christ. The sad truth is that most of us are not doing a really good job of living out the challenge from the gospel of Luke. The parable talks about servants being ready for the master to return. If they do not do what is expected they will be punished because they had been given much responsibility.

From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.

The practical reality is that we (Christians in America) have been given so much compared to most of the world. I fear that we are falling far short of what can even reasonably be asked. Ron Sider (author of Scandal of the Evangelical Conscience) is a guy that I would rather avoid because he makes me uncomfortable with that darn truth thing. He was quoted about our cultural materalism in Christianity Today.

Materialism continues to be an incredible scandal. The average church member [from across the denominations] today gives about 2.6 percent of his or her income—a quarter of a tithe—to the church. Evangelicals used to be quite a lot better [in giving] than mainline denominations. But their giving has declined every year for several decades, and they’re now getting very close to the norm. The average evangelical giving is about 4.2 percent—about two-fifths of a tithe.

Six percent of the “born-again” people tithe; nine percent of evangelicals do. Our income has gone up fabulously over the last 30-plus years. The average household income now in the U.S. is $42,000-plus. If the average American Christian tithed, we’d have another $143 billion.

Imagine what organizations like World Vision or Samaritan’s Purse and countless others could do with 143 billion dollars! Imagine how that could impact the reality of suffering souls in Darfur. Katrina victims that are still displaced. Children that need medicine and food and hope. Single Moms struggling to make families work. Orphans of the Aids epidemic in Africa. And millions of souls living in hopelessness and darkness that could use a little love and a lot of light in their lives.

The reality is that you and I would scarcely miss that new car, outfit, or whatever material thing we somehow believe we simply must have this week. There will be an accounting some day. And that is reality.

 

Regular readers of these humble ramblings know one thing for sure. My brain is not wired according to factory specs. So it was no surprise to me that some synapses randomly crossed and I couldn’t get a gospel song out of my mind that I had not heard in, oh, forty years. That is the curse of a mind that can’t remember a security ATM pin number but knows every word to the Mr. Ed theme song.

I suppose the trigger for digging this gospel tune out of my musty brain storage unit was thinking about the journey that Joni and I begin in earnest this Friday. Somehow that brought to mind a gospel song that was a favorite in my house growing up. I had a rather unusual spiritual environment as a youngster. My parents were not regular church goers but they loved southern gospel music. We would go to concerts in the big city of Columbus, Ohio featuring groups like the Blackwood Brothers, the Stamps, the Speer Family, the Happy Goodmans, and others. I had forgotten that little slice of family history until this song perniciously implanted in my brain. The song was called “I wouldn’t take nothin’ for my journey now” and I can still remember the lyrics.

Well, I started out travelin’ for the Lord many years ago,
I’ve had a lot of heartache, I’ve met a lot of grief and woe.
But when I would stumble, then I would humble down,
And there I would say I wouldn’t take nothing for my journey now.

Well, I wouldn’t take nothin’ for my journey now,
Gotta make it to heaven somehow,
Though the Devil tempt me & he tries to turn me around,
He’s offered everything that’s got a name,
All the wealth I want & the worldly fame,
If I could, still I wouldn’t take nothing for my journey now.

There’s nothing in the world that’ll ever take the place of God’s love.
Silver & gold couldn’t buy a mighty touch from above.
When my soul needs healin’ I begin to feelin’ His power,
I can say thank the Lord, I wouldn’t take nothing for my journey now.

If I could, still I wouldn’t take nothing for my journey now

I write this one day before Joni begins chemotherapy for her breast cancer. We have talked about the journey ahead. We know it will be difficult. When we first found out about her cancer I quoted John Piper’s article called “Don’t Waste Your Cancer”. Here is an excerpt from that blog.

“It will not do to say that God only uses our cancer but does not design it. What God permits, he permits for a reason. And that reason is his design. If God foresees molecular developments becoming cancer, he can stop it or not. If he does not, he has a purpose. Since he is infinitely wise, it is right to call this purpose a design. Satan is real and causes many pleasures and pains. But he is not ultimate.”

We believe there is a reason for this journey we are on. We are praying that He will be glorified through this process. I would be less than honest if I said there is never a time when I wish the journey was easier or could be altered. I would have chosen to pass on the heartache, grief, and woe the song writer described above. There was a time when the wealth and fame were at the top rungs of my ladder of desire. But those heartaches, the grief, and the realization about what matters have molded me into who I am today. My journey toward being more like Jesus has a long way to go. Joni and I are ready for the next part of our journey together. We are, to be honest, a little frightened as we prepare to battle the giant. But we are steadfast in one thing. We wouldn’t take nothin’ for our journey now. We are going to make it somehow. And that somehow will involve the love of His people and a mighty touch from above…

Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle, and you will find rest for your souls.Matt 11  NLT