Author: Dave Burchett

The December 18th Doonesbury comic strip might have been clever but it was deceptive and dishonest in it’s content. The strip begins with a doctor looking at an x-ray image. He is thinking to himself that “he hopes he (the patient) is only a Sunday creationist.” In the next frame the patient finds out he has TB. The doctor is better looking and looks more intelligent than the poor “creationist”. The doctor reassures him that they have caught the disease early.

Patient: “So my prognosis is good?”

Doctor: “Depends. Are you a creationist?”

Patient: “Why yes I am. Why do you ask?”

Doctor: “Because I want to know if you want me treat the TB bug as it was before antibiotics? Or the multiple drug resistant strain it has since evolved into.”

Patient: “Evolved?”

Doctor: “Your choice. If you go with the Noah’s Ark version, I’ll just give you Streptomycin.”

Patient: “Ummm…what are the newer drugs like?”

Doctor: “They’re intelligently designed.”

First of all, I understand the fundamentals of humor. I know that Trudeau was trying to exaggerate to make a humorous point. But my concern is that this is how intellectually bankrupt the average Christian is portrayed in the media. Gary Trudeau is a smart man. I presume he is smart enough to know that his comic strip does not represent the Intelligent Design position. And if he does realize this is not the position of the ID proponents then he is being intellectually dishonest for the sake of a laugh.

Not a single advocate of Intelligent Design that I am aware of discounts the “change over time” that happens within a species or organism. My friend Dr.Ray Bohlin writes this at the Probe website (www.probe.org).

“Much of the reason for evolution’s privileged status has been due to confusion over just what people mean when they use the word evolution. Evolution is a slippery term. If evolution simply means “change over time,” this is non-controversial. Peppered moths, Hawaiian drosophila fruit flies, and even Galapagos finches are clear examples of change over time. If you say that this form of evolution is a fact, well, so be it. But many scientists extrapolate beyond this meaning. Because “change over time” is a fact, the argument goes, it is also a fact that moths, fruit flies, and finches all evolved from a remote common ancestor.”

No thinking person could dispute the “change over time” component of evolution. When the word evolution is tossed about are we speaking of microevolution, small changes within a species over time, or are we talking about macroevolution, major mutations from one type of organism to another? I willingly concede the microevolution. Macroevolution is still quite debatable.

I believe in a Creator God. But I will aggressively seek the latest medications to fend off the microevolution of a disease. I see no intellectual dishonesty in that position. In Paul’s letter to Timothy he wrote…

God doesn’t want us to be shy with his gifts, but bold and loving and sensible.  2 Timothy 1:7 The Message

God has given us a mind and the freedom to use it.

 

 

As I surveyed the annual end of the year summaries I came across the Ig Nobels, an annual ceremony that honors seemingly inane research projects. “

Marc Abrahams, creator of the Ig Nobels and editor of the Annals of Improbable Research, the science humor magazine that coordinates the prizes said that,  “The point [of the awards] is to expose people to things they might not come across.” 

Mission accomplished. Here are the real 2005 winners of Ig Noble awards. My Ig Noramus Award winning commentary is italicized.

Claire Rind and Peter Simmons of Newcastle University in England nabbed the 2005 Ig Nobel Peace prize for their work electronically monitoring the brain cells of locusts as the insects watched selected scenes from Star Wars.

“The reason I did the research was curiosity. I had to know,” Rind said in jest. On a serious note, her research studies the way that locusts avoid predators. She hopes the information will lead to new tools that will help cars avoid collisions.

I have begun my own studies by monitoring the brain cells of roaches as they watch selected TV pastors. I hope that by studying when the roaches are drawn to the television I can help gullible viewers avoid bad theology.

The winners of the Ig Nobel Fluid Dynamics prize—hailing from universities in Finland, Germany, and Hungary—won for calculating the pressure that builds up inside a penguin’s bowels before it defecates. But none of the honored penguin researchers were able to attend the ceremony because the U.S. denied them visas.

Who says Homeland Security isn’t doing their jobs?

Yoshihiro Nakamats of Tokyo, who won the Nutrition prize for his meticulous photographing of every meal he has eaten during the past 34 years.

The research value of this would be?????

A large team of international researchers won the Ig Nobel in Biology for their paper in the February 2004 issue of the journal Applied Herpetology. Their research, which catalogued frogs that smell like vanilla and others like flowers, may result in new perfumes or lead to frog-skin-based biopharmaceuticals. The team studied and catalogued different scents emitted by more than 100 species of frogs under stress. Some smelled like cashews, while others smelled like licorice, mint or rotting fish.

My prediction for next year’s hot new men’s scent: Kermit. Or you might hear something like this next Christmas…

“Love your perfume”!

“Oh thank you. It’s Eau de Tree Frog”.

Anonymous Internet entrepreneurs of Nigeria, who won the Literature prize for writing compelling short stories that are then sent to millions of people around the globe via the Internet, accompanied by pleas for cash.

I have had numerous opportunities to become rich by helping these poor folk. I hope when they do get those lost riches they will invest in a spell check.

And may I suggest that every one double check all of these email stories before you hit the forward button. I probably receive a half dozen inaccurate email forwards a week.  A friend of mine sent a tongue in cheek email thanking everyone for warning him about various health scares and internet viruses and on and on.

Yes, I want to thank you so much for looking out for me that I will now
return the favor!

If you don’t send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 7
minutes, a large pigeon with a wicked case of diarrhea will land on your
head at 5:00 p.m. (PDT) this afternoon. I know this will occur because it
actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor’s ex-mother-in-law’s
second husband’s cousin’s beautician.

I am forwarding this message to everyone on my list. I mean…what if it is true? And I really hate pigeons.

 

Greeting cards have all been sent
The Christmas rush is through
But I still have one wish to make
A special one for you     Lyrics from ‘Merry Christmas Darling’ – The Carpenters

Yesterday I braved the day after Christmas shopping throngs with the lovely Mrs. Burchett in search of sale priced Christmas ornaments and other half-priced treasures. Actually I found the frenzy at Crate and Barrel to be only slightly less dangerous than the Running of the Bulls in Spain. So I spent a fair amount of time in a nearby Starbucks while she braved the frothing throngs. But I was with her in spirit.

My caffinated quiet time gave me an opportunity to reflect on the odd way we celebrate Christmas. The build up to Christmas goes on for weeks and then, before you can file a lawsuit, it is over. We rush pell mell to Christmas Day with intensity that would make Coach Bobby Knight proud. The day itself, like the average Super Bowl,  cannot live up to the hype.

So I sat listening to ‘Winter Wonderland’ in the seventy degree temperatures of Dallas and I felt a little melancholy. Somehow I had managed to let another Christmas sneak up on me and pass me by while I was busy shopping, wrapping, buying, and rushing. I have a calendar. How does this happen? Christmas is my favorite time of the year and now I sat wondering where it had gone. How did I miss it? I suddenly felt like I was in the middle of a Peanuts Christmas special…

• Charlie Brown: I just don’t understand Christmas, I guess. I like getting presents and sending Christmas cards and decorating trees and all that, but I’m still not happy. I always end up feeling depressed. 
  
• Lucy Van Pelt: Charlie Brown, you’re the only person I know who can take a wonderful season like Christmas and turn it into a problem.

I hope I haven’t turned Christmas into a problem but I really do want it to last more than a day. Maybe the idea of the Twelve Days of Christmas is a good one. That would give me some time to settle in a bit before the holiday goes whizzing by. The 12 days of Christmas were traditionally the 12 days that separate December 25 from Epiphany, which is celebrated January 6. Some believed that was the date that the wise men visited the baby Jesus with their gifts.

On coming to the house, they saw the child with his mother Mary, and they bowed down and worshipped him. Then they opened their treasures and presented him with gifts of gold and of incense and of myrrh. Matthew  2  NIV

Obviously Mary and Joseph had located a place to stay since the birth of Jesus. The Magi came to the house (not the stable) and saw the child. Traditionally there has been the custom of giving gifts throughout the 12 days, rather than the frenetic frenzy on the morning of December 25. That tradition has never really caught on in instant gratification America! The most difficult fruit of the spirit to successfully cultivate in this culture is patience. Apparently our American soil does not allow the patience fruit to mature.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Galatians 5 NIV

But I suspect our society could kidnap the spirit of the 12 Days of Christmas tradition as well. We would simply increase the angst and sale papers and overall frenzy. If you can’t find one perfect gift imagine how crazy trying to buy twelve would make you!  

Perhaps thoughtful Christians could co-opt the 12 Days of Christmas and make it a time of reflection on the incarnation of a Savior. Maybe we could spend a little extra time meditating on the miracle of God becoming man and yet remaining God.

I find it interesting that epiphany has become an “in” word and is defined at dictionary.com as  “a sudden manifestation of the meaning of something.” How appropriate that by reflecting for the next few days on the arrival of Jesus you can have an epiphany just in time for Epiphany! The original Christmas epiphany happened in the fields outside of Bethlehem.

And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in clothes and lying in a manger.”

 Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,
 “Glory to God in the highest,
      and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests.”

 When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, “Let’s go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about.”

 So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger. When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them. 

Rewind to the beginning of this blog. I do have one wish…make that prayer…for you during this Christmas season. I pray that you have found the One that the shepherds hurried to see. And that you will spread the word of what you have been told about Him.

Merry Third Day of Christmas! (French Hen Day…if you are keeping score)
 

 

 

 

I have removed this post because I am tired of people spectacularly missing the point. I simply raised the point that we are accountable for our actions as representatives of Christ. I will accept no further comments on this topic.

 

There has been quite a spirited battle over Christmas this year. Earlier this month I posted a remarkable Christmas story and I have received great feedback. If you missed it…enjoy. If you caught the first post it might be worth a Christmas meditation and reread. To everyone who visits this blog, reads my books, and takes the time to bless me with your comments…Merry Christmas!

On December 9th I posted a story about the decision by a Wisconsin elementary school to rewrite the lyrics of “Silent Night” to make it acceptable for the winter program. The unfortunate choice for a new title was “Cold in the Night”. Some things just shouldn’t be done. It is like the old Jim Croce song…”you don’t tug on Superman’s cape, you don’t spit into the wind, you don’t pull the mask off the old Lone Ranger, and you don’t rewrite Silent Night” (New Revised Version).

Writing that post brought to mind a legend I had heard involving the song “Silent Night” and a wartime Christmas truce. I researched the story and found that it actually happened. Here is a nice Christmas story for your Christmas season to share at Christmas gatherings this Christmas Day (was that too obvious?).

The year was 1914 and soldiers were having to spend Christmas Eve night on the battlefields of France during World War I — the Great War, as it was called. After only four months of fighting, more than a million men had already perished in the bloody conflict. The bodies of dead soldiers were scattered between the trenches. Enemy troops were dug-in so close that they could easily exchange shouts.

On December 24, 1914, in the middle of a freezing battlefield in France, a miracle happened.

The British troops watched in amazement as candle-lit Christmas trees began to appear above the German trenches. The glowing trees soon appeared along the length of the German front.

Henry Williamson, a young soldier with the London Regiment wrote in his diary: “From the German parapet, a rich baritone voice had begun to sing a song I remembered my German nurse singing to me…. The grave and tender voice rose out of the frozen mist. It was all so strange… like being in another world — to which one had come through a nightmare.”

Silent Night

Holy Night

A man named John John McCutcheon recently wrote a song about the nearly unknown incident. These lyrics are from his work called “Christmas in the Trenches”.

The cannon rested silent, the gas clouds rolled no more,

As Christmas brought us respite from the war….

“They finished their carol and we thought that we ought to retaliate,” another British soldier wrote, “So we sang The First Noël and when we finished, they all began clapping. And they struck up O Tannebaum and on it went… until we started up O Come All Ye Faithful [and] the Germans immediately joined in …. this was really a most extraordinary thing — two nations both singing the same carol in the middle of a war.”

McCutcheon’s lyrics continue…

“There’s someone coming towards us!” the front-line sentry cried.

All sights were fixed on one lone figure trudging from their side.

His truce flag, like a Christmas star, shone on that plain so bright

As he, bravely, strode unarmed into the night.

It is recorded that enemy soldiers greeted each other in the no man’s land that was a killing zone on December 23rd. The soldiers wished each other Merry Christmas and agreed not to fire their rifles on Christmas Day. The spontaneous cease-fire eventually embraced much of a 500-mile stretch of the Western Front. According to the reports of soldiers at the scene, hundreds of thousands of soldiers celebrated the birth of the Prince of Peace among the bodies of their dead.

Soon one by one on either side walked into No Man’s Land.

With neither gun nor bayonet, we met there hand to hand.

Other soldiers told of how the “enemies” exchanged badges and buttons from their uniforms. Others shared photos of wives and children and some even exchanged addresses and promised to write after the war ended. The German troops rolled out barrels of dark beer and the British reciprocated with offerings of plum pudding. Some soldiers produced soccer balls and a spirited match broke out as fellow soldiers shouted encouragement.

At one location along the front the men who just the day before sought to kill one another now gathered together to bury their dead. Together, with heads uncovered, they held a service to memorialize their fallen comrades. A solitary voice began to sing Silent Night, in French. He was joined by another voice — this one singing in German — the words of a Christmas song known and beloved by all.

But the miracle of peace was temporary. Slowly, under threats from their officers, the troops returned to the trenches and the recoils of rifles split the temporary “Silent Night.” Some soldiers admitted aiming so their bullets flew well above the heads of the “enemy.”

Soon daylight stole upon us and France was France once more.

With sad farewells, we each prepared to settle back to war.

But the question haunted every heart that lived that wondrous night:

“Whose family have I fixed within my sight?”

My name is Francis Tolliver, in Liverpool I dwell.

Each Christmas come since World War I, I’ve learned its lesson well:

That the ones who call the shots won’t be among the dead and lame,

And on each end of the rifle, we’re the same.

That is the message the Prince of Peace brought to us on Christmas long ago. Perhaps those of us who celebrate the birth of the Saviour could learn a lesson from this Christmas miracle. Those on the other side of the cultural trenches are not unlike us. We are the same. The message delivered in Bethlehem was peace and goodwill toward men. When we fight the cultural war remember that the whole purpose of Jesus invading our space and time was to love and ultimately die for those on both sides of the battle.

 

 

Hopefully the secularists and people of faith can sheath their subpoenas long enough to declare a truce for Christmas Day. No day of the year has generated more written material than Christmas. I thought I would collect a few thoughts from people with bigger brains than me to share as a Christmas gift to you.

• Those who know me realize that I must start with humorous thoughts on the day. The first comes from one of the greatest comic strips ever produced.

Oh look, yet another Christmas TV special!  How touching to have the meaning of Christmas brought to us by cola, fast food, and beer…. Who’d have ever guessed that product consumption, popular entertainment, and spirituality would mix so harmoniously?  ~ Bill Watterson, Calvin & Hobbes

There is a remarkable breakdown of taste and intelligence at Christmastime.  Mature, responsible grown men wear neckties made of holly leaves and drink alcoholic beverages with raw egg yolks and cottage cheese in them.  ~P.J. O’Rourke

Christmas is the season when you buy this year’s gifts with next year’s money.  ~Author Unknown

Oh, for the good old days when people would stop Christmas shopping when they ran out of money.  ~Author Unknown

I think the author remained unknown so the credit card companies couldn’t them.

Once again we find ourselves enmeshed in the Holiday Season, that very special time of year when we join with our loved ones in sharing centuries-old traditions such as trying to find a parking space at the mall.  We traditionally do this in my family by driving around the parking lot until we see a shopper emerge from the mall, then we follow her, in very much the same spirit as the Three Wise Men, who 2,000 years ago followed a star, week after week, until it led them to a parking space.  ~Dave Barry

The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C.  This wasn’t for any religious reasons.  They couldn’t find three wise men.  ~Jay Leno

• Many thoughts about Christmas are sentimental…

Christmas waves a magic wand over this world, and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful.  ~Norman Vincent Peale

He who has not Christmas in his heart will never find it under a tree.  ~Roy L. Smith

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree:  the presence of a happy family all wrapped up in each other.  ~Burton Hillis

It is Christmas in the heart that puts Christmas in the air.  ~W.T. Ellis

Perhaps the best Yuletide decoration is being wreathed in smiles.  ~Author Unknown

There’s nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.  ~Erma Bombeck, I Lost Everything in the Post-Natal Depression

Christmas is for children.  But it is for grown-ups too.  Even if it is a headache, a chore, and nightmare, it is a period of necessary defrosting of chill and hide-bound hearts.  ~Lenora Mattingly Weber

• Some Christmas reflections challenge us to maintain the spirit of the season past December 25th.

I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.  ~Charles Dickens

Next to a circus there ain’t nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.  ~Kin Hubbard

I wish we could put up some of the Christmas spirit in jars and open a jar of it every month.  ~Harlan Miller

• But my favorite Christmas thoughts focus me on the miracle of God intentionally seeking a relationship with me.

For the spirit of Christmas fulfils the greatest hunger of mankind.  ~Loring A. Schuler

Blessed is the season which engages the whole world in a conspiracy of love!  ~Hamilton Wright Mabie

Despite our efforts to keep him out, God intrudes. The life of Jesus is bracketed by two impossibilities: a virgin’s womb and an empty tomb. Jesus entered our world through a door marked “No Entrance” and left through a door marked “No Exit.” ~ Peter Larson, Prism (Jan/Feb 2001)

There has been only one Christmas – the rest are anniversaries.  ~W.J. Cameron

• The best news of all on this anniversary was a little quote recorded outside of Bethlehem….

Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord. ~ Angel to the shepherds…as quoted by Luke

Merry Christmas!

 

 

 

 

 

 

The “Walk On Eggshells Union” (WOE-U) has been busy rewriting Christmas songs to make sure that no one could possibly be offended. Silent Night went from holy night to winter night after a New Jersey elementary school got involved. They changed the lyric to make the Christmas carol more “acceptable” to an apparently hypersensitive audience. Perhaps we will soon be going to hear the local orchestra deliver the stirring holiday rendition of Handel’s “The Promised and Expected Deliverer Described in Some Religious Texts”, the composition formerly known as “The Messiah”.

While there have been denials everywhere that there is any “war” on Christmas it does seem that there is, at the very least, some politically correct police actions going on. So I decided to ask the question, “What would Saint Nicholas Do”? After all, the fourth-century bishop of Myra (present-day Turkey) was the role model for our present day Santa Clause. Saint Nicholas is said to have saved a poor family’s daughters from slavery by tossing some gold through the window that landed, according to legend, in stockings that had been hung up to dry. From that trick shot came the custom of hanging up stockings for St. Nicholas (and now Santa) to fill.

Well it seems that old Saint Nick was generous and kind to children but more than a little feisty when it came to his beliefs. Gene Edward Veith wrote this in World Magazine (December 24th edition)….

“During the Council of Nicea, jolly old St. Nicholas got so fed up with Arius, who taught that Jesus was just a man, that he walked up and slapped him! That unbishoplike behavior got him in trouble. The council almost stripped him of his office, but Nicholas said he was sorry, so he was forgiven. The point is, the original Santa Claus was someone who flew off the handle when he heard someone minimizing Christ. Perhaps we can battle our culture’s increasingly Christ-less Christmas by enlisting Santa in his original cause. The poor girls’ stockings have become part of our Christmas imagery. So should the St. Nicholas slap.”

Mr. Veith goes on to describe how the new Santa “Enforcer Clause” might look.

“This addition to his job description will keep Santa busy. Teachers who forbid the singing of religious Christmas carols—SLAP! Office managers who erect Holiday Trees—SLAP! Judges who outlaw manger displays—SLAP! People who give The Da Vinci Code as a Christmas present—SLAP! Ministers who cancel Sunday church services that fall on Christmas day—SLAP! SLAP! The Santas should also roam the shopping aisles, and if they hear any clerks wish their customers a mere “Happy Holiday,” give them a slap.”

Veith is not advocating violence…just a gentle little tap on their heretical noggin. So if this catches on we can look forward to such classics as

“I Saw Santa Slapping Heretics”  sung to the tune of “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Clause” or maybe “Jingle Bell Slap” sung to the tune of “Jingle Bell Rock”.

I am not sure I agree with all of Veith’s reasons for Santa to give a gentle Christmas smack. Perhaps I would slap lawyers who put the fear of a Supreme Being into the hearts of teachers. I suspect that few teachers left to their own accord would ban the singing of Christmas songs.

Instead of slapping those who give The Da Vinci Code I would slap Christians who haven’t done any research on the heresies contained within that book. If you can’t find the time to develop a defense of the basic tenets of your faith — SLAP!

Instead of slapping clerks who say “Happy Holidays” I would prefer that Santa slap the corporate officers that order what the poor clerks can say.

And I would not slap a minister who cancels Sunday church that falls on Christmas day. I believe a legitimate argument can be made on both sides. Christmas is a very special family day. I will not judge anyone who chooses to worship the incarnation of the Christ child on Christmas Eve and then enjoys their family on Christmas morning. I was raised in legalism and saved by grace. When I read that Christians are slipping into the judgement robes I become like the shepherds on that Christmas night.

And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid.  Luke 2 KJV

After nearly dying of spiritual thirst from legalism I do get “sore afraid” when we judge the motives of others or suggest that not meeting on Christmas is heresy. Forgive me if  you disagree. There is a solid Biblical basis for that forgiveness (No doubt some will suggest that I should get slapped for quoting from The King James Version and the The Message in the same post).

 If someone falls into sin, forgivingly restore him, saving your critical comments for yourself. You might be needing forgiveness before the day’s out. Galatians 6 The Message

 

Merry Christmas and a Slappy New Year!