Charisa Stories

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  • God’s Weight Loss Plan – Part 3

    We have been outlining God’s Guaranteed Weight Loss Plan. With this plan you can begin to lose the weight of bitterness and anger caused from lack of forgiveness. If you are carrying around an unforgiving spirit it is weighing you down spiritually and emotionally. I know from sad personal experience. Part one and two set the stage and today we wrap up the list.

    Fact 7: Forgiveness is not denial of the hurt.

    Pride will often cause us to “not allow the person who hurt us the satisfaction” of knowing we are wounded. That is absurd. Acknowledge the reality of the injury, but make the choice to be healed.

    Fact 8: Forgiveness eliminates revenge as an option.

    The late author Lewis Smedes makes a brilliant point about revenge. No matter how much we try “we cannot get even; this is the inner fatality of revenge.” When we start trying to get even, we have lost. How many times must I gossip about you to get “even” for the hurt you caused me? When is the scale even? Or do I need to have the scale tip a bit toward me to be satisfied? What a self-defeating pursuit that becomes! And the truth proclaimed by author Josh Billings is “there is no revenge so complete as forgiveness.”

    Fact 9: Forgiveness lets go of the need to know why.

    Forgiving hurt without explanation is part of the faith-tour contract we signed when we decided to follow Jesus. Author David Stoop notes that, “People choose the Path of Bitterness when they get caught up in trying to understand the reasons for the offense. They think, if only they could understand why the other person did what he or she did, they could get over it and let it go.” I have three words for that approach: does not work.

    Fact 10: Forgiveness lets go of the need to be right.

    Forgiveness requires humility. We can be 100 percent right about an issue and lose every relationship around us in the process. Or we can be just as right but exercise grace and humility and not leave a trail of battered sheep in the dust.

    Fact 11: Forgiveness requires praying blessings on those who have wounded us.

    Begin to bless and wish good things for those who hurt us. This may be my least favorite requirement. But Jesus said:
    “When someone gives you a hard time, respond with the energies of prayer for that person.” (Luke 6:28, The Message)

    I do not like to do this. The last thing I feel like doing is praying for the people who hurt me. But here’s a secret: Praying for our enemies changes our attitude about them. When I was a kid I was a voracious reader of comic books (certainly one factor that explains my intellectual prowess). One of the advertisements that captivated me while reading those volumes was the little ad in the back of the comic book for the Incredible X-Ray Glasses. With these amazing glasses I imagined that I could see through walls. I will confess that not all of my intentions for the glasses were pure. But I was sure that with the X-ray glasses I could see people in a way I never had seen them before. I would suggest that is how forgiveness works. We put on the glasses of gratitude and grace and we see people who hurt us not as the enemy but as weak, fallible, needy people just like us. We see through their outer garments of pride and confusion and see the naked truth of sin. They are people who needed forgiveness (just like me) and perhaps have not reached the point in God’s timing to be able to administer forgiveness (just like me a lot of the time). They are sinners saved by grace…just like me and you. A key component of forgiveness is to not make the other person evil. Most people who inflict hurt are not evil people. They are fallible and fearful people just like me, and to demonize them would have made forgiveness impossible.

    Paul wrote in the Book of Romans that we should bless our enemies. The word “bless” can be translated to mean “to speak well of.” Now, Paul understands life in the trenches. He knows that we can smile that tight-lipped smile and say polite things about those who hurt us and be murmuring out the side of our mouth. So he throws the big punch right after the semi-colon.

    Bless your enemies; no cursing under your breath. (Romans 12:14, The Message)

    Blessing our adversaries messes with their minds, so at least we get that satisfaction. As Abe Lincoln sagely asked, “Am I not destroying my enemies when I make friends of them?” The Christian paraphrase is: The best way to destroy your enemy is to bless him in prayer. One of my favorite quotes relating to this issue comes from Pastor R. G. Lee. “Men may spurn our appeals, reject our message, oppose our arguments, despise our persons; but they are helpless against our prayers.”

    General Robert E. Lee was asked what he thought about a fellow officer. The man in question had been most unkind in his remarks about Lee, yet the general rated him as being “very satisfactory.” The person confronting Lee was astounded. “General,” he chided, “I guess you don’t know what he’s been saying about you.” “I know,” Lee responded, “But I was asked my opinion of him, not his opinion of me.” That, my friend, is the grace of God in action.

    Fact 12: Forgiveness allows you to be selfish.

    Say what? I have heard bitterness described as drinking rat poison and hoping the other person dies. Who wants that? I also appreciate the insight of author Hannah More when she writes, “Forgiveness is the economy of the heart…. Forgiveness saves the expense of anger, the cost of hatred, the waste of spirits.” When we follow the directive of Jesus and forgive, we are free to concentrate on the blessings in your life.

    Lewis Smedes wrote powerfully about forgiveness. He often said only forgiveness can “release us from the grip of our history.” We cannot change an abusive upbringing. We cannot alter dysfunctional theological training that denied grace. We cannot simply deny the hurts that have been visited upon us and be spiritually free. Only forgiveness can release us from the grip of these real and historical events. And that forgiveness will drop the weight of bitterness and anger. If you only keep one resolution make forgiveness the one you keep this year.

  • God’s Weight Loss Plan – Part 2

    Yesterday I started discussing God’s Guaranteed Weight Loss Plan. With this plan you can lose the weight of bitterness and anger caused from lack of forgiveness. If you are carrying around an unforgiving spirit it is weighing you down spiritually and emotionally. Part one set the stage. For the next two days we will look at some things I have learned (usually the painful way) about forgiveness.

    Fact 1: Our ability to forgive is rooted in the depth of our gratitude.

    The foundation of forgiveness is our gratitude for the undeserved forgiveness we have received through Christ. Take some time to meditate about how much you have been forgiven. In the gospel of Luke we read about a sinful woman who washes Jesus feet with her tears and dries them with her hair.

    Jesus said, “Impressive, isn’t it? She was forgiven many, many sins, and so she is very, very grateful. If the forgiveness is minimal, the gratitude is minimal.” (Luke 7:47)

    Phillip Yancey wrote about how Jesus always demonstrated forgiveness to the hurting. “I can’t help noticing the tenderness with which Jesus treated people with wounds caused by moral failure. A Samaritan woman with five failed marriages, a dishonest tax collector, an adulteress, a prostitute, a disciple who denied Him-all these received from Jesus forgiveness and reinstatement, not the judgment they deserved. Jesus saw in people not what they had been but what they could be, not their past but their future.” Christ has extended the same forgiveness toward us. It is an awesome act of grace that should make us overflow with a gratitude that influences our willingness to forgive others.

    Fact 2: Forgiveness is an act of trusting God for justice.

    Forgiving is not the same condoning or diminishing an offense. Forgiving a person who has wronged you does not mean they are “off the hook” for any consequences or judgment that may result from their actions. Forgiveness is a personal act of your will that releases the other person from your condemnation. That is all Jesus asks of you; the offender is still responsible to God for the rest. By extending forgiveness you are not saying the offense was insignificant or unimportant. You are saying that you trust God to see that justice is dispensed according to His Holy judgment and timing rather than yours.

    Fact 3: Forgiveness does not require amnesia.

    Forgiveness is not forgetting. The old “forgive and forget” admonition was one of the biggest barriers I faced in my journey to learn how to forgive. You know the old mental challenge: Try not to picture an elephant in the room. You can’t do it. Instantly the image pops into your mind. The more I tried to be spiritually mature by forgiving and forgetting, the more my offender became an elephant in the room. That person or event was all I could think of. In time, if you entrust your need for justice for God, you will think less and less of the hurt the offense. C. S. Lewis wrote to a friend late in his life. “Dear Mary…Do you know, only a few weeks ago, I realized suddenly that I had at last forgiven the cruel schoolmaster who so darkened my childhood. I had been trying to do it for years.” To try to achieve a state of forgetfulness is to set yourself up for failure and frustration.

    I must add, however, that while it is impossible to instantly forget we cannot to use past hurts as hammers against others. A man was complaining about his wife to his buddy. “Whenever we get in a fight she gets historical.” His friend corrected him, “You mean hysterical.” He said, “Nope, historical. She dredges up my past and reminds me of every thing I’ve done wrong in our marriage.” You may not forget the offense, but you can choose not to hold it against that person. Don’t get historical.

    Fact 4: Forgiveness does not require reunion.

    Forgiveness and reconciliation are not the same. Certainly it is a worthy goal to have the gift of forgiveness lead to the restoration of a damaged relationship. But it takes two people to reconcile, and you have no control over anyone’s response except your own. Your offender may not respond graciously to your forgiveness. He or she may not be ready to acknowledge their part in the offence, accept forgiveness, or desire to be reconciled. Again, all that is required of you is to extend the grace of forgiveness. Remember, forgiveness is an overflow of gratitude for how much we have been forgiven. If I put on a mournful face and declare that I will forgive my brother “because someone has to be mature and take the bullet,” well, that is not quite what Jesus had in mind. Puffing myself up with the false humility of martyrdom (e.g., heavy sigh…I guess I have to be the “Christian” here) is not “forgiveness.” That cannot restore me to my brother or to my Lord.

    Fact 5: Forgiveness is an act of the will.

    It is not a response to feelings. Forgiveness requires choice and faith, just like every miracle. If we decide to wait until we “feel” like forgiving (or worse, wait until the other person makes the first move) we will remain spiritually stuck. We must choose to forgive, and to trust God to eventually change our feelings. The Holy Spirit will reshape our feelings over the course of time.

    Fact 6: Forgiveness does not mean you do not acknowledge the offense.

    Jesus is not asking us to ignore reality. After all, if we have not been wronged, there is nothing to forgive. He is asking us to acknowledge how much we have been forgiven and to extend the same courtesy to others. Forgiveness is acknowledging the offense without cover-up or excuse and still choosing to forgive.

    The rest of the forgiveness thoughts are coming on Part 3 of God’s Weight Loss Plan.

  • God’s Weight Loss Plan – Part 1

    Most of us see New Years Day as a fresh start. Many (or most) of us hope and pray that the New Year will be better. We make steadfast resolutions of how we are going to do better next year. The reality is that January 1st is just another day. We could just as easily resolve on May 18th or August 3rd that we are going to change how we live. But there is something psychologically powerful about the New Year. January is named after the Roman god Janus. He was unique because he had two faces…one to look into the past and one to look into the future. Today Janus the two faced would be a very successful politician.

    On this January 1st I am sure many of you have made resolutions for the New Year. The most cited resolutions generally include things like exercising more, saving more money, getting out of debt, quitting smoking and reading the Bible all the way through without getting bogged down in Leviticus and skipping directly to the Psalms. But the most popular resolution year after year is…losing weight. There are a dizzying array of diets and hundreds of weight loss books. It is overwhelming to try and decide which diet to read or which plan to try.

    Comedian Rita Rudner notes that “inside many of us is a thin person struggling to get out, but she can be sedated with a few pieces of chocolate cake”.  A forgotten Beatitude is “blessed are those who hunger and thirst for they are sticking to their diet”. (Note to the increasingly prevalent theological hall monitors: That is humor. I know that quote is not a biblical truth)

    So today I thought I would be doing a real service if I gave you God’s Guaranteed Weight Loss Plan to take into 2011. This weight loss plan will make you healthier, reduce stress, give you more joy and cause you to grow in your relationship with the Lord. Get out your pencils and paper and I will outline God’s Guaranteed Weight Loss Plan. By following this no subscription, no monthly dues plan you can lose the weight of bitterness and anger caused from lack of forgiveness. If you are carrying around an unforgiving spirit it is weighing you down spiritually and emotionally. Researchers are discovering the physical effects of holding bitterness and grudges. An article in USA Today tantalizingly titled “Psychologists Now Know What Makes Us Happy” reported the findings of University of Michigan professor Christopher Peterson. (For this Ohio State Buckeye fan to agree with a Michigan prof shows the potential of grace in our lives.) Peterson stated that forgiveness is the behavior most strongly linked to happiness. Regular readers of the New Testament will not be surprised. The professor correctly noted, “It’s the queen of all virtues, and probably the hardest to come by.”

    We have found that statement to be true in the church. Christians have not always been noticibly better than the general populace on the forgiveness front.

    Forgiveness may be the most unnatural thing that the Lord asks us to do. Forgiveness flies in the face of all the inborn sense of justice that we possess. A man once commented to theologian John Wesley, “I never forgive.” Wesley responded, “Then, sir, I hope that you never sin.”

    The Gospel of Mark seems to set the forgiveness bar at an impossible height to clear.

    “Be alert. If you see your friend going wrong, correct him. If he responds, forgive him. Even if it’s personal against you and repeated seven times through the day, and seven times he says, ‘I’m sorry, I won’t do it again,’ forgive him.” (The Message)

    Really now. Maybe I could manage once or twice, but doesn’t continually forgiving make me a fool? Maybe the writer misspoke there a little bit. Isn’t it interesting how we will subconsciously wrestle with God about what He really meant? The text seems pretty clear in all of the translations. There are no exceptions. How about this little challenge.

    Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. (Ephesians 4:32, The Message)

    The “as quickly” part is hard enough. The “as thoroughly” clause is nigh to impossible.

    Do you see any way around the obvious command to forgive? Me either. And that causes me a bit of concern. Just like the average Christian, I want all of the benefits of forgiveness without that annoying requirement that I actually have to forgive others. But the Bible is very clear about my responsibility to forgive. Forgiveness is a constant and, quite frankly, irritating theme of the New Testament. There do not appear to be any loopholes in these verses. I don’t think we have a super-species of unforgivable sins that have mutated since the days of Jesus that require a special dispensation. I would imagine that Enoch at the tent making shop was just a big as jerk as Bob in accounting.

    Bottom line: We are commanded to forgive as we have been forgiven. Forgiveness may well be the missing ingredient to true revival in the church. Clearly our lack of forgiveness is a major impediment to growth. I believe that we attract people to Christ when we behave in a way that is supernatural. I’m not talking about performing miraculous healings or speaking in tongues. I’m talking about the supernatural behaviors radio host Steve Brown referred to when he said this: “We can claim to have supernatural love, but it’s only supernatural when one would expect hatred instead. We can claim to be forgiving, but forgiveness is supernatural only when there is no earthly reason for one to be forgiving. Compassion is supernatural when the smart thing to do is look out for number one. Joy is supernatural when circumstances don’t warrant it.”

    What would be the result in our communities if we demonstrated the supernatural aspects of Christ living through us outlined above? I suspect the unchurched would be clamoring to “get what we got.” Forgiveness may be the singular act that convinces an unbelieving world that Christians really can be different. (Different good, not different weird.)

    I have spent a lot of unhappy moments outside of fellowship with my Lord because I did not want to forgive someone who hurt me. I am grieved to think of how I have stubbornly refused to forgive others for real and/or perceived slights over the years. I can imagine Jesus looking at me with sadness (not condemnation) because I have not fully comprehended the magnitude of the debt that has been erased from my account because of Him. I picture His sadness that I have shortchanged my ability to possess joy and peace. Right there in front of my spiritual nose and I chose to hold onto bitterness. Am I guilty of beating myself up? No. I think I am just being honest about the depth of my indebtedness to Christ. I hope I never lose sight of the gift of forgiveness. If I cannot forgive I have forgotten how much I have been forgiven. I am trusting God to help me shed all of that unwanted weight of bitterness and unforgiveness this year. More ideas to follow in the days ahead.

  • One more gift idea for Jesus on His birthday…

    This series was well received last year. Some would call this a repeat but I prefer to think of it as environmentally friendly blog recycling with virtually no carbon footprint.

    Merry Christmas!  Dave

    As a public service I am providing a shopping guide for things you can give to Jesus on His upcoming birthday. For the internet hall monitors who love to send anonymous and snarky comments I understand that the celebrated date of Christ’s birth is likely off a bit. But since this is when we celebrate we will go with the date assigned by the church fathers and Hallmark.

    Let’s be honest…giving the King of Kings and Lord of Lords a unique gift is really tough. The last post examined the gifts brought to the young Christ child over 2,000 years by the wise men, I had hoped that examining what the Magi brought might jump start our gift giving ideas.  By the way, there is a plaque that is available with the title “What if They Had Been 3 Wise Women?” Here is the conclusion….

    Alert readers from the last article remember that the first gift was gold. That is always a lovely gift. But now it gets a little tougher.

    Then they opened their luggage and presented gifts: gold, frankincense, myrrh. (Matthew 2:11, The Message)

    The second gift brought out of the luggage by the Magi was frankincense. Frankincense is a very costly and fragrant incense. It is a gum distilled from a tree found in the Middle East. It is a white resin or gum, and is obtained by slitting the bark of the “Arbor Thurisfrom”, allowing the gum to flow out (there will be a test). The word actually means “whiteness”, referring to the white colored juice which flows out of the wound in the tree. This gum hardens for three months, and is gathered at the end of the summer, and sold in the form of “tears”, or clumps of hardened resin. Frankincense is highly fragrant when burned, and was, therefore, used in worship, where it was burned as a pleasant offering to God. It is interesting to note that this sweet smelling resin comes as the result of the tree’s woundedness and pain. It is cut open and bleeds to give us the sweet smelling scent. The spiritual parallel is interesting. When we can worship God in the midst of our sorrow, our brokenness, then it is a sweet smelling offering to our Lord.

    King David wrote, “The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise.” (Psalms 51:17 )

    Much emphasis in worship today is on “celebration”. No time for agonizing and tears, only for shouts of joy and victory. While joyful praise is acceptable and pleasing to God, tears, like frankincense resin, oozing out of our hurts, broken hearts, and tears of repentance are especially pleasing – a sweet smelling sacrifice to the Lord. Anyone can dance and shout when blessings are flowing, and everything is going their way. But true worship happens when we must overcome feelings of self-pity, fear and doubt. So how can we offer a pleasing aroma to God?

    How about giving Jesus the gift of trust for His birthday? You believe that Jesus is the Son of God…that He came to earth as a little baby over 2,000 years ago. That he lived a Holy life and died on a cross as perfect sacrifice for my sin and your sin. I would guess that most of the people who stumble onto this blog believe that. But what I am talking about is really believing and trusting God in every circumstance.

    Think about giving the gift of really trusting in Jesus for every need this coming year. Completely trusting who God says He is and who God says you are when you put your faith in Christ. Completely believing that you are a new person and not the same old person reworked. Completely believing that this new identity in Christ gives you power to live and power to not sin.

    Believing that you are an amazing one of a kind creation whom God has placed where you are and with gifts that can be uniquely used where you are in your journey.

    “You’re blessed when you’re content with just who you are-no more, no less. That’s the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can’t be bought. (Matthew 5:5 The Message)

    Later in the gospel of Matthew we find this…If you puff yourself up, you’ll get the wind knocked out of you. But if you’re content to simply be yourself, your life will count for plenty. (Matthew 23:12, The Message)

    I believe that comparison is one of Satan’s primary strategies to cause despair. You are wonderfully made by the Creator of the Universe and you are valuable. Michelangelo made a nearly perfect sculpture of David. The statue’s muscular tension is precisely rendered down to the muscle contraction on his forehead as David is poised to go into battle. It is perhaps the most important sculpture in the world and it was carved from one large block of marble. Why is that unique? Two other artists rejected the block of marble because of imperfections. Michelangelo saw the beauty in that block of marble that others did not. Jesus sees the beauty in you that others might not. Can you believe in a Jesus that can take you, even if you feel like a rejected block of marble, and then lovingly chip away until you become a beautiful work of art? Can you give Jesus the gift of believing that He is really there with you…as your Good Shepherd…ready to bind up your wounds and lead you to still waters.

    “I am the Good Shepherd. The Good Shepherd puts the sheep before himself, sacrifices himself if necessary. A hired man is not a real shepherd. The sheep mean nothing to him. He sees a wolf come and runs for it, leaving the sheep to be ravaged and scattered by the wolf. He’s only in it for the money. The sheep don’t matter to him. “I am the Good Shepherd. I know my own sheep and my own sheep know me. In the same way, the Father knows me and I know the Father. I put the sheep before myself, sacrificing myself if necessary. You need to know that I have other sheep in addition to those in this pen. I need to gather and bring them, too. They’ll also recognize my voice. Then it will be one flock, one Shepherd. This is why the Father loves me: because I freely lay down my life. And so I am free to take it up again. No one takes it from me. I lay it down of my own free will. I have the right to lay it down; I also have the right to take it up again. I received this authority personally from my Father.” (John 10:11-18, The Message)

    The Good Shepherd had the choice and chose to give us the marvelous gift of laying down His life and then taking it up again. Believing Him and really trusting Him would make a lovely gift to Jesus on His birthday.

  • Having Trouble with Gift Ideas for Jesus on His Birthday?

    This series was well received last year. You may view this as a repeat. I prefer to think of it as re-gifting.

    Blessings and Merry Christmas!

    We are fast approaching the hardest day of the year for most men. Many of us men give gifts to our significant others with fear and trembling. Humor writer Dave Barry relates the confusion most men deal with when giving a gift to their wife.

    He could tell by her reaction to the gift that she had not been dreaming of getting an auto emergency kit, even though it was the deluxe model with booster cables and an air compressor. Clearly, this violated an important rule, but the man had idea what the rule was, and his wife was too upset to tell him.

    Barry continues his thoughtful treatise…

    So why is the Christmas season so difficult for men? There are many complex reasons, by which I mean: women. The problem goes back to the very first Christmas. We know from the Bible that the Wise Men showed up in Bethlehem and gave the baby Jesus gifts of gold,frankincense, and myrrh. Now Gold is always a nice gift, but frankincense and myrrh – at least according to my dictionary – are gum resins.

    Barry asks the vital question…

    Who gives gum resins to a baby? The answer is…Men. The three wise men…being men, didn’t even start shopping for gifts until the last minute, when most of the stores in the greater Bethlehem area were closed for Christmas Eve. The only place still open was Big Stu’s House of Myrrh.

    Even though Barry’s interpretation of the Gospels might be a little suspect…I do think he is correct about the difficulty in finding the right gift to give to Jesus on his birthday.

    On December 24th or 25th most of us will exchange gifts on Jesus’s birthday. Suppose you had a big party for me to celebrate my humble birthday this April. All of my close friends and acquaintances show up and you all start exchanging gifts on my birthday. But there is nothing for me. Oh, someone might mention my name now and then. But I just sit and I sit and I watch others open gifts. Then someone mentions how grateful they are for Dave’s birthday so we could all be together. I become hopeful. But then someone else yells that the refreshments are ready so everyone rolls into the kitchen and I am left sitting there….no gifts on my birthday. I wonder if we don’t do that exact thing to Jesus. We have reason for the season signs and all of that. But it is so easy to get all caught up and not even think of a gift for the guest of honor at our Christmas celebrations.

    So what can you give the Lord of the Universe? If you think your mother-in-law is tough to buy for what do buy for the Saviour who has everything? Believe it or not…I decided to go back to the Three Wise Men and see if there was more to their gifts than first appears. What is the story behind these gum resin gifts? What is up with the gifts presented by the Magi? The simplest meaning is that these men brought items which, in their experience, represented the greatest worth. All of these gifts were rare, precious and expensive. Whatever else we may learn from this story, we know that they gave their best in honor to the One they believed to be the King, the Messiah. It’s interesting that we don’t know the names of the Magi but we know what they gave. We don’t know where they came from but we know that they worshipped the  Christ child.

    They entered the house and saw the child in the arms of Mary, his mother. Overcome, they kneeled and worshipped him.

    The first important point is that the Magi did not visit the Baby Jesus at the stable so our Nativity scene on the mantle is chock full of Biblical errors. They showed up at the house and it is clear that the gifts were a part of their worship. They bowed down before Him, and they offered Him gifts. What an amazing spirit that must have surrounded that child that caused men of importance, wealth and education to fall down before Him!

    The miracle of God becoming man… He became what we are so that He might make us what He is.
    Then they opened their luggage and presented gifts: gold, frankincense, myrrh. Matt 2:11 (MsgB)

    The first gift mentioned is gold.

    Gold was the usual offering presented to kings by their subjects, or those wanting to pay respect. Gold has always held extremely high value – as long ago as 2,500 BC, gold was especially prized, and used as a medium of exchange. Even today when investments get shaky you start hearing about buying gold as a hedge against economic downturns. The value of gold seems to be a constant in our civilization. In both the Old Testament Tabernacle and the Temple, gold was used plentifully and was clearly associated with worship.

    So should we give Jesus gold on His birthday? Most of us have a rather limited supply of gold. I am going to suggest that we give Jesus a commodity that is as valuable in today’s culture as gold was in the time of the Magi. That commodity of great value is time. When I think of gifts that we can give to Jesus…is there anything more precious than our time?

    When you love someone you want to spend time with them. If you say you love your wife but you go several days or weeks without talking to her she might be suspicious. When we say we love our children but we can’t work them into the schedule they begin to have doubts. When a young couple falls in love they want to spend every moment together. When they are apart they think of each other. As Percy Sledge famously sang that when a man loves a woman he can’t keep his mind on nothing else.

    So we say we love Jesus. But we probably have little difficulty thinking of something else. We tell others that He is the center of our universe…but we can’t carve out the time to spend with Jesus to develop that relationship. I am confessing here that I have been guilty of this far too often in my journey with Jesus. My lips confess my commitment to Him but my time with Him reveals my true priorities. The uncomfortable truth for me as a husband…as a father…and as a follower of Christ is that my calendar reveals my heart. I make time for the things that are most important to me.

    Gift suggestion number one for Jesus on His birthday…give Him a little time. Sit down with Him…talk to Him…enjoy His company.

    And join us tomorrow for another last minute gift idea for Jesus. Perhaps it is not that hard to give something to Christ this Christmas.

  • Tell Me Again What the Cattle Were Doing?

    Today is a revisit of a “Christmas Classic” from earlier. How does a blog become a classic?  It is your blog, your site, you pay the server charge and you can call it whatever you want. So enjoy a classic from Christmas past…

    One of my contributions with this modest little blog is to continually ask the tough questions.

    While listening to  “Away in a Manger” at a recent Christmas program my inquiring mind kicked in. You likely know verse three of the song.

    The cattle are lowing
    The poor Baby wakes
    But little Lord Jesus
    No crying He makes

    As I listened an important series of difficult and probing inquiries popped into my head. What noise, exactly, were the cattle making when they started lowing? Was this normal cow talk? Did lowing just sound better than mooing in the lyric or is lowing a more spiritual and reverent cow sound? And then the most important question came to mind. What is wrong with me?

    I can’t answer the last question but I can help with the others. Lowing is defined at dictionary.com as “the characteristic sound uttered by cattle; a moo”.

    So little baby Jesus was awakened by the characteristic sound uttered by a cow. That would not have flowed well in the lyric so I understand using lowing. The next part of the lyric is disturbing to those of us who are parents. If any of the babies who grew up in our household were awakened by cattle lowing they would be squalling (the characteristic sound uttered by a ticked off baby; a scream).  During the course of my intrepid investigating I discovered that this verse was not original to the song. It was added in the early 1900’s by a Methodist minister named John T. McFarland for a children’s program. While verse three is not a part of the original Christmas carol canon it does create an image of Jesus that we need to rethink.

    I remember as a child singing “Away in a Manger” and picturing the baby Jesus with this beatific smile on his face and a little halo hovering over his head. In my imagination the animals were swaying and singing like the campfire scene from the movie “Three Amigos”. I pictured Mary and Joseph as awed spectators as the baby Jesus acknowledged the shepherds and welcomed them to his place (remember…the earlier lyrics told us he didn’t have a crib). My images of the baby Jesus were indeed childish. But I wonder if we don’t carry a little of that flawed perspective about the “Baby Jesus” into our adult Christian journey (like Ricky Bobby in the movie Talladega Nights…you bad Christians know what I am talking about).

    This Christmas why not take a little time to think about the implications of the incarnation. That nice little theological word is used to denote when the second person of the Trinity assumed human form in the person of Jesus Christ and became both fully God and fully man. C.S. Lewis called the incarnation “the Grand Miracle.” He wrote: “The central miracle asserted by Christians is the Incarnation…. Every other miracle prepares for this, or exhibits this, or results from this…. It was the central event in the history of the Earth–the very thing that the whole story has been about” (from Miracles, chapter 14).

    By a miracle that passes human comprehension, the Creator entered his creation, the Eternal entered time, God became human–in order to die and rise again for the salvation of all people. “He comes down; down from the heights of absolute being into time and space, down into humanity; down further still … (to) the womb … down to the very roots and sea-bed of the Nature He has created. But He goes down to come up again and bring the whole ruined world up with Him” (Miracles, C.S. Lewis).

    Take a moment to meditate on the mystery of that. Fully God and fully man. I am sure the little Lord Jesus would have had the normal response to being awakened by any cow noise…lowing or other. His swaddling clothes had to be changed just like any baby. Chuck Swindoll described Him as diety in diapers.

    How does that affect me this Christmas? Because God became flesh I can relate to a Savior that understands the frailties of my flesh. Because the Creator understands His creation I can be sure that God understands my pain, frustration and loneliness. It is difficult for me to relate to an invisible God. That is the miracle of God becoming man. I can relate to Jesus because He has walked in my sandals. Joni and I were always appreciative and blessed when people expressed love and care while she was battling breast cancer. But when a breast cancer survivor expressed that love it connected on a different level. They had been there, felt the fear, fought the tiring battle and traveled the long road. That is the sovereign genius of the incarnation. We can relate to God in flesh in a way that is different. When I suffer I know that Jesus understands. He has been there. When I am lonely or feeling betrayed I can know (in my finite ability) that He understands. When I am joyful and laughing He understands. By becoming like me I can believe that Jesus can empathize with me on a different level. Because I know He gets it then I also get it. God loves me and Jesus has my back.

    My dear children, I write this to you so that you will not sin. But if anybody does sin, we have one who speaks to the Father in our defense—Jesus Christ, the Righteous One.   (I John 2)

    Jesus became our advocate and our path to salvation when He arrived on earth. The miracle in the manger was not Jesus ignoring stupid cows. The miracle was God becoming flesh.

  • The Santa Claus is comin’ to town theology

    I am a little too old and lot too cynical to be swept away by the latest fad in Christendom. I have sat on the sidelines while Jabez prayed, millions were purpose driven and others found their best life. I guess I was just left behind. Others were incredibly excited by one or all of these phenomenons.

    So I was more than a little surprised to find that God rocked my world through a ministry I knew little about just a few short years ago. Their books and materials have not become an entire section at your local Christian superstore. And that is a shame. Because they have a message that needs to be heard by most of us.

    The organization is called TrueFaced and the book of same name rocked my world.  I don’t think I have ever had a book (excluding the inspired one) impact me as much as this one. Here is how strongly I feel about this book and ministry. I have written two books. So selling a few books would be awesome for the fading retirement account. But if you only have the budget to buy one book in the near future I would tell you to buy TrueFaced. (That gives you a hint as to why I rarely am asked to do marketing seminars)

    I am borrowing one little bit of content that is very timely during this month. John Lynch is one of the authors of the book and in this section he addresses how we are programmed from childhood to default to performance theology. He calls it the “Santa Claus is Coming to Town theology”.

    You better watch out
    Better not cry
    Better not pout
    I am telling you why
    Santa Claus is comin’ to town
    He’s making a list….checking it twice…three times…every day
    Gonna find out who’s naughty and nice
    Santa Claus is comin’ to town
    He sees you when your sleeping, nows when your awake, he knows when you’ve been bad or good so be good for goodness sake.

    Oh, he’s watching. Waiting for you to screw up so you will get coal instead of a bicycle. You had better please him. And we teach our kids to put on the mask and be something they are not. Because Santa Claus is comin’ to town. This omniscient being who is judging our every deed is coming to town…and we learn to do the dance early. Buck up…be good. Don’t cry. Don’t pout. Santa Claus is coming to town.  (©Copyright 2003, William Thrall, Bruce McNicol, John Lynch. All rights reserved. Unauthorized duplication prohibited.)

    He is exactly right. We learn that we get good things and receive love only when we are good and do good things. Santa is pleased (and we later substitute God) when we obey. So we learn early. We had better be good. Or least fool everyone around us to think that we are being good.

    Ask any child this Christmas if they are being good and I will wager you will never hear this response.

    “Well, to be honest, I am really struggling with the whole being nice thing. I have actually been pouty and I cried yesterday. It just isn’t working out this Christmas so I suspect the video game system will have to wait.”

    Nope. What you hear is the lie that we learn early and too often keep handy in our arsenal for a lifetime.

    “Oh yeah. I am being really good!”

    I remember (vaguely) the tension of the Santa Claus years. I knew I hadn’t really changed much. I tried to modify my behavior for a week or two leading up to Christmas but I knew I had failed to really be good. I learned a couple of things early. I learned how hard it is to change behavior by sheer willpower and I learned that I could fool Santa by living a lie. I learned that that he would bring me presents in spite of my failures. I did not learn about grace. That maybe Santa gave me gifts because of who I was and maybe he came to my house because I was lovable instead of rewarding me for what I had done to please him. I figured I had fooled him and to get the good stuff I would have to continue to hide the little boy who broke an ornament and then hid it.

    Isn’t that too often how we view God? We had better not cry. Better not sin. I’m telling you why. Jesus is coming to town. He’s making a list and He is checking it not once or twice but every moment of every day. God knows if you’ve been bad or good so if you want to be healed or happy or prosperous you had better be good for goodness sake. If I do mess up I am scared to death that I will get a bad life or miss all that God has for me. So I put on the mask and try to be really good for Jesus. If I can fool those around me maybe, just maybe, I can fool God too.

    Satan sells the lie so convincingly. And we buy it for months and years and even decades.

    But God and Santa are very different in their approach. God does not keep a list. He is not impressed by our hernia inducing straining to control sin.

    Jesus offers us so many gifts. But the one we seem to have the hardest time unwrapping is the gift of grace. The gift that allows us to become who God desires us to become as we simply trust Him and quit trying to be “good” for goodness sake. We are saved by grace and faith in Christ. We become like Him by the same radical strategy. Faith that He has changed us into a new creation. And understanding the grace that gives us good gifts even when we don’t deserve them.

    Don’t let the Santa Claus theology live into the New Year. Go straight to the gift of grace that Jesus left under the Cross. Open it. And clothe yourself in His salvation, acceptance and love. It may be the best gift you have ever given yourself.