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Seventeen years ago a funny and underappreciated  movie came on the scene. Groundhog Day told the story of a self-absorbed news reporter (redundancy alert?) that finds himself stuck in an endless repeat of the same day. Bill Murray is perfect in the role of reporter Phil Connors. Since I live in the odd world of broadcast television I can relate to the cynical personality of Murray’s character. Reporter Phil is less than thrilled that he has been assigned to cover Punxsutawney Phil’s annual peek outside to predict winter’s duration. Connor’s looks into the camera and cynically reports:

“This is one time where television really fails to capture the true excitement of a large squirrel predicting the weather.”

I have directed some events that offer that kind of challenge. But what got me thinking about that movie again was the plotline where Phil Connors realizes he is doomed to live the same day over and over and over. The plot is summed up in this article in Wikipedia. For Connors, Groundhog Day begins each morning at 6:00 A.M., with his waking up to the same song, Sonny & Cher’s “I Got You Babe”, on his alarm clock radio, but with his (and only his) memories of the “previous” day intact, trapped in a seemingly endless “time loop” to repeat the same day in the same small town.

Connor has this exchange in the film.

Phil: What would you do if you were stuck in one place and every day was exactly the same, and nothing that you did mattered?
Ralph: That about sums it up for me.

And that brought to mind another famous Bill Murray quote…this time from Stripes.

And then depression set in.

So what is the point of these ramblings? Is it to impress you with my cerebral movie tastes? The point is that too many followers of Jesus are stuck in a Groundhog Day life of their own. They wake up every day and feel trapped in a repeating pattern of frustrating behavior. And then, depression sets in. Why is that?

Einstein was once quoted as saying that “insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.” I am not quite willing to concede that I was insane. But the truth is that for years I did approach my spiritual life the same way everyday while somehow expecting different results.

I would make a mistake (that is politically correct for sin) and I would convince myself that I would never do that again. I was grateful that the consequences were not worse. I was determined to stay far, far away from that sin. And then before I know it I had forgotten the lesson and I would awaken each morning to my own version of Groundhog Day. The Apostle Paul wrote about this very thing (not the giant rodent part, but the repeating behavior part) in his letter to the Romans.

I decide to do good, but I don’t really do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway. My decisions, such as they are, don’t result in actions. Something has gone wrong deep within me and gets the better of me every time.   (Romans 7, The Message)

Wow…can I relate to that. A bit later Paul writes…I’ve tried everything and nothing helps. I’m at the end of my rope. Is there no one who can do anything for me? Isn’t that the real question?

That is the real question. And there is a real answer offered by Paul.

The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does. He acted to set things right in this life of contradictions where I want to serve God with all my heart and mind, but am pulled by the influence of sin to do something totally different.

So what can you do to get out of this sin spiral?

Nothing.

Wait! Don’t let depression set in. This is good news. You and I can’t do it. I am incapable in my own efficacy to escape my spiritual Groundhog Day. Only Jesus can enable me to escape this endless loop of frustration. Further advice from Paul follows in Chapter 8 of his amazing letter to the Romans.

But if God himself has taken up residence in your life, you can hardly be thinking more of yourself than of him.

Allow the truth of that verse to soak in.

Want to get out of your Groundhog Day existence? Most readers of these humble ramblings realize they couldn’t deal with their sin separation from God on their own. We needed Jesus. So why do we think we can deal with our ongoing sin issues on our own? When the Father looks at me on my very worst day this is what He sees.

Jesus.

That is step one. I don’t have to clean up the sin to please God. He loves me already because of Jesus. Step 2. I am learning daily to recognize that the Spirit of God has taken up residence in my life. I am learning that I am the one who limits His power by restricting access and control to my thoughts and actions. I am learning that I don’t need to wake up to the frustrating effects of repeated self-effort. I can wake up trusting God, trusting that Jesus has my sin covered and trusting that the Spirit of God will allow me to resolve that sin. Trusting God and what His Word says to be true allows me to escape the Groundhog Day syndrome. Instead I have a new day full of possibilities to thank God for His amazing grace.

(The latest iPod Devotional from theFish.com. Check it out every Monday)

Sports fans might have heard TV analysts noting that a young athlete is struggling on the football field because the game is too fast and furious for them to react correctly. They say that when the game “slows down” that player will be much more effective. That means the athlete will learn what matters, what to react to, how not to get faked out, and how to respond properly in each situation.

I think that is what is happening for me after all of these years. My once frenetic efforts to be a “good Christian” are slowing down. I think I am learning more about what matters, what to react to, how not to get faked out by Satan, and how to respond in grace.

A great way to get some less than grace filled responses is to quote an R-rated movie. So here goes.

“Nook” LaLoosh (from Bull Durham): “A good friend of mine used to say, “This is a very simple game. You throw the ball, you catch the ball, you hit the ball. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, sometimes it rains. Think about that for a while.”

Yeah! Think about that for awhile!

In many ways Christianity is a very simple faith that we have made incredibly legalistic and difficult. To paraphrase the line above. “You love the Lord your God. You love your neighbor. Sometimes it is easy. sometimes it is hard. Sometimes life rains on you.”

Why do I want to make it so maddeningly complex? Today’s song by Chris Tomlin has one of the secrets that helped the game “slow down” for me. The lyrics from “I Will Follow” help make this journey a little more simple.

All your ways are good
All your ways are sure
I will trust in you alone
Higher than my side
High above my life
I will trust in you alone

Where you go, I’ll go
Where you stay, I’ll stay
When you move, I’ll move
I will follow you
Who you love, I’ll love
How you serve I’ll serve
If this life I lose, I will follow you
I will follow you

I will follow you

Hmmmm. Maybe if I give up my need to figure everything out and sound smart I will actually be more effective. Maybe if I just follow Him I will learn to naturally do all the things I have been struggling so hard to do. There seems to be some precedent for this concept of simply following Jesus. “Come, follow me,” Jesus said, “and I will make you fishers of men.” Matthew 4:19, NIV

• But Jesus told him, “Follow me“….   Matthew 8:22, NIV
• “Follow me,” he told him, and Matthew got up and followed him. Matthew 9:9, NIV
• “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.”  Matthew 16:24, NIV
• “Then come, follow me.”   Matthew 19:21, NIV
• Finding Philip, he said to him, “Follow me.”   John 1:43, NIV
• “Whoever serves me must follow me;”   John 12:26, NIV
• Jesus answered, “If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? You must follow me.”   John 21:22, NIV

In the immortal words of Forrest Gump…”I’m not a smart man”. But like Forrest I have a keen sense of the obvious. I have surmised (brilliantly) that Jesus wants me to follow Him. The rest of it we will figure out together.

I have a couple of my “bad Christian” friends that are betting on when the first grandpa blog would appear. Whoever had January 28^th is the winner. This article is not about how beautiful Ethan Paul is or how excited Papa and Nana are to get to know him. I am, however, more than willing to write that blog. Today’s thoughts came from an isolated and tender moment that I didn’t even witness.

Since Ethan was a bit early the doctors were cautious about fluid building up in his lungs. To be sure that all was well they scheduled an x-ray on his second day. New dad Matt went along with Ethan for the procedure. Unswaddling him made the little guy unhappy and scared. As he grew more anxious his dad did what every loving father does for their child. He touched him to let Ethan know it was okay.

Our friend Jana happened to be at the nursery and captured the candid moment.

I keep thinking about that moment. How Matt instinctively knew that Ethan needed that touch. How Ethan wrapped his little fingers around dad’s big finger. And that Ethan calmed down because he knew that his father was there. Happily, all was okay with his lungs.

Today I prayed that more followers of Christ would seek the touch of the Heavenly Father when they are anxious, scared and uncertain. I love the story of Jesus healing the leper. Matthew (the Apostle) tells the story in the first Gospel book.

Large crowds followed Jesus as he came down the mountainside. Suddenly, a man with leprosy approached him and knelt before him. “Lord,” the man said, “if you are willing, you can heal me and make me clean.”

Imagine this scene. Lepers had to wear torn clothes and shout “unclean” so that people would stay away from them. Jesus could have said the word and he would have been healed. That is how he healed the paralyzed man. Christ raised a young girl from the dead while she was miles away from Him. But look at how He chose to heal this man.

Jesus reached out and touched him.

Can you imagine the emotion that must have run through this man who had likely not been touched in years? Jesus answered the man’s plea.

“I am willing,” he said. “Be healed!” And instantly the leprosy disappeared. (Matthew 8, NLT)

We worship a Heavenly Father that is willing to touch and love us whenever we call out. No matter how needy. No matter how “unclean”. He is always willing to touch us and heal us spiritually. God never promised that our journey would be without struggle or pain. Physical healing does not always happen. But He did promise to always be with us. We are His precious children and Paul describes that tender heart of God the Father in this passage to the church in Rome.

For all who are led by the Spirit of God are children of God. So you have not received a spirit that makes you fearful slaves. Instead, you received God’s Spirit when he adopted you as his own children. Now we call him, “Abba, Father.” For his Spirit joins with our spirit to affirm that we are God’s children. (Romans 8:14–16, NLT)

Abba is an endearing and intimate title for God the Father that could be translated, “Father, my  own dear Father.” It is the title a child uses to relate to a father when the child knows that he or she is dear to Him, the one He delights in. I remember my friend Ed Underwood sharing how he desperately sought the touch of the Father while battling a deadly cancer.

“So, last night was so much more than a night of malaise, it was a night I spent on my Father’s lap, talking with Him about my fears, feelings, and hurts. It is the upside of suffering for the child of God–deepening intimacy with Abba Father.”

What an amazing thought and insight. The upside of suffering is deepening intimacy with Abba Father. So precious Ethan reminded me again of my own fraility. And how when I am frightened I need to wrap my tiny fingers around His mighty hand.

 

My friend Don Jacobson has begun a new journey of encouragement and hope. His new site is called God Makes Lemonade. You will read stories that seem hopeless or even tragic and then see how God redeems those situations in some amazing way. Joni and I are humbled and touched that Don chose the story of our precious daughter Katie to be the first featured story. I would be honored if you took a moment to read her story.

Regular readers of the humble ramblings know that I started my journey in a legalistic church. We were the Monty Python version of church.

“We are the knights who say….NO!”

We had several volumes of things that were a big NO!

Here is a little legalism sampler.

NO movies.
NO drinking.
NO mixed swimming.
NO television.
NO rock and roll music.
NO smoking.
NO slacks for women.
NO long hair for men.

You get the idea. Not surprisingly it took me a while to figure out grace and freedom in Christ. The irony is that there are a few no’s in the New Testament that we somehow overlooked. For example, here is little “no” verse that would have come in handy.

So now there is NO condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. And because you belong to him, the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed you from the power of sin that leads to death. (Romans 8:1–2 NLT)

That would have been a refreshing mist of grace to our parched flock. Or how about these “no” verses.

This is how love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment: In this world we are like Jesus. There is NO fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. We love because he first loved us. (1 John 4, NLT)

“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is NO commandment greater than these.” (Mark 12, NLT)

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps NO record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. (1 Corinthians 13, NLT)

“I have been crucified with Christ and I NO longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. I do not set aside the grace of God, for if righteousness could be gained through the law, Christ died for nothing!” (Galatians 2, NLT)

That is a very different “no” list than the one above.

NO condemnation.
NO fear.
NO commandment greater than to love your God and your neighbor.
NO record of wrong doing when you love one another.
NO longer I who live but Christ who lives in me.

I have NO problem living out of that list of no’s. No kidding.

We have been outlining God’s Guaranteed Weight Loss Plan. With this plan you can begin to lose the weight of bitterness and anger caused from lack of forgiveness. If you are carrying around an unforgiving spirit it is weighing you down spiritually and emotionally. I know from sad personal experience. Part one and two set the stage and today we wrap up the list.

Fact 7: Forgiveness is not denial of the hurt.

Pride will often cause us to “not allow the person who hurt us the satisfaction” of knowing we are wounded. That is absurd. Acknowledge the reality of the injury, but make the choice to be healed.

Fact 8: Forgiveness eliminates revenge as an option.

The late author Lewis Smedes makes a brilliant point about revenge. No matter how much we try “we cannot get even; this is the inner fatality of revenge.” When we start trying to get even, we have lost. How many times must I gossip about you to get “even” for the hurt you caused me? When is the scale even? Or do I need to have the scale tip a bit toward me to be satisfied? What a self-defeating pursuit that becomes! And the truth proclaimed by author Josh Billings is “there is no revenge so complete as forgiveness.”

Fact 9: Forgiveness lets go of the need to know why.

Forgiving hurt without explanation is part of the faith-tour contract we signed when we decided to follow Jesus. Author David Stoop notes that, “People choose the Path of Bitterness when they get caught up in trying to understand the reasons for the offense. They think, if only they could understand why the other person did what he or she did, they could get over it and let it go.” I have three words for that approach: does not work.

Fact 10: Forgiveness lets go of the need to be right.

Forgiveness requires humility. We can be 100 percent right about an issue and lose every relationship around us in the process. Or we can be just as right but exercise grace and humility and not leave a trail of battered sheep in the dust.

Fact 11: Forgiveness requires praying blessings on those who have wounded us.

Begin to bless and wish good things for those who hurt us. This may be my least favorite requirement. But Jesus said:
“When someone gives you a hard time, respond with the energies of prayer for that person.” (Luke 6:28, The Message)

I do not like to do this. The last thing I feel like doing is praying for the people who hurt me. But here’s a secret: Praying for our enemies changes our attitude about them. When I was a kid I was a voracious reader of comic books (certainly one factor that explains my intellectual prowess). One of the advertisements that captivated me while reading those volumes was the little ad in the back of the comic book for the Incredible X-Ray Glasses. With these amazing glasses I imagined that I could see through walls. I will confess that not all of my intentions for the glasses were pure. But I was sure that with the X-ray glasses I could see people in a way I never had seen them before. I would suggest that is how forgiveness works. We put on the glasses of gratitude and grace and we see people who hurt us not as the enemy but as weak, fallible, needy people just like us. We see through their outer garments of pride and confusion and see the naked truth of sin. They are people who needed forgiveness (just like me) and perhaps have not reached the point in God’s timing to be able to administer forgiveness (just like me a lot of the time). They are sinners saved by grace…just like me and you. A key component of forgiveness is to not make the other person evil. Most people who inflict hurt are not evil people. They are fallible and fearful people just like me, and to demonize them would have made forgiveness impossible.

Paul wrote in the Book of Romans that we should bless our enemies. The word “bless” can be translated to mean “to speak well of.” Now, Paul understands life in the trenches. He knows that we can smile that tight-lipped smile and say polite things about those who hurt us and be murmuring out the side of our mouth. So he throws the big punch right after the semi-colon.

Bless your enemies; no cursing under your breath. (Romans 12:14, The Message)

Blessing our adversaries messes with their minds, so at least we get that satisfaction. As Abe Lincoln sagely asked, “Am I not destroying my enemies when I make friends of them?” The Christian paraphrase is: The best way to destroy your enemy is to bless him in prayer. One of my favorite quotes relating to this issue comes from Pastor R. G. Lee. “Men may spurn our appeals, reject our message, oppose our arguments, despise our persons; but they are helpless against our prayers.”

General Robert E. Lee was asked what he thought about a fellow officer. The man in question had been most unkind in his remarks about Lee, yet the general rated him as being “very satisfactory.” The person confronting Lee was astounded. “General,” he chided, “I guess you don’t know what he’s been saying about you.” “I know,” Lee responded, “But I was asked my opinion of him, not his opinion of me.” That, my friend, is the grace of God in action.

Fact 12: Forgiveness allows you to be selfish.

Say what? I have heard bitterness described as drinking rat poison and hoping the other person dies. Who wants that? I also appreciate the insight of author Hannah More when she writes, “Forgiveness is the economy of the heart…. Forgiveness saves the expense of anger, the cost of hatred, the waste of spirits.” When we follow the directive of Jesus and forgive, we are free to concentrate on the blessings in your life.

Lewis Smedes wrote powerfully about forgiveness. He often said only forgiveness can “release us from the grip of our history.” We cannot change an abusive upbringing. We cannot alter dysfunctional theological training that denied grace. We cannot simply deny the hurts that have been visited upon us and be spiritually free. Only forgiveness can release us from the grip of these real and historical events. And that forgiveness will drop the weight of bitterness and anger. If you only keep one resolution make forgiveness the one you keep this year.

Yesterday I started discussing God’s Guaranteed Weight Loss Plan. With this plan you can lose the weight of bitterness and anger caused from lack of forgiveness. If you are carrying around an unforgiving spirit it is weighing you down spiritually and emotionally. Part one set the stage. For the next two days we will look at some things I have learned (usually the painful way) about forgiveness.

Fact 1: Our ability to forgive is rooted in the depth of our gratitude.

The foundation of forgiveness is our gratitude for the undeserved forgiveness we have received through Christ. Take some time to meditate about how much you have been forgiven. In the gospel of Luke we read about a sinful woman who washes Jesus feet with her tears and dries them with her hair.

Jesus said, “Impressive, isn’t it? She was forgiven many, many sins, and so she is very, very grateful. If the forgiveness is minimal, the gratitude is minimal.” (Luke 7:47)

Phillip Yancey wrote about how Jesus always demonstrated forgiveness to the hurting. “I can’t help noticing the tenderness with which Jesus treated people with wounds caused by moral failure. A Samaritan woman with five failed marriages, a dishonest tax collector, an adulteress, a prostitute, a disciple who denied Him-all these received from Jesus forgiveness and reinstatement, not the judgment they deserved. Jesus saw in people not what they had been but what they could be, not their past but their future.” Christ has extended the same forgiveness toward us. It is an awesome act of grace that should make us overflow with a gratitude that influences our willingness to forgive others.

Fact 2: Forgiveness is an act of trusting God for justice.

Forgiving is not the same condoning or diminishing an offense. Forgiving a person who has wronged you does not mean they are “off the hook” for any consequences or judgment that may result from their actions. Forgiveness is a personal act of your will that releases the other person from your condemnation. That is all Jesus asks of you; the offender is still responsible to God for the rest. By extending forgiveness you are not saying the offense was insignificant or unimportant. You are saying that you trust God to see that justice is dispensed according to His Holy judgment and timing rather than yours.

Fact 3: Forgiveness does not require amnesia.

Forgiveness is not forgetting. The old “forgive and forget” admonition was one of the biggest barriers I faced in my journey to learn how to forgive. You know the old mental challenge: Try not to picture an elephant in the room. You can’t do it. Instantly the image pops into your mind. The more I tried to be spiritually mature by forgiving and forgetting, the more my offender became an elephant in the room. That person or event was all I could think of. In time, if you entrust your need for justice for God, you will think less and less of the hurt the offense. C. S. Lewis wrote to a friend late in his life. “Dear Mary…Do you know, only a few weeks ago, I realized suddenly that I had at last forgiven the cruel schoolmaster who so darkened my childhood. I had been trying to do it for years.” To try to achieve a state of forgetfulness is to set yourself up for failure and frustration.

I must add, however, that while it is impossible to instantly forget we cannot to use past hurts as hammers against others. A man was complaining about his wife to his buddy. “Whenever we get in a fight she gets historical.” His friend corrected him, “You mean hysterical.” He said, “Nope, historical. She dredges up my past and reminds me of every thing I’ve done wrong in our marriage.” You may not forget the offense, but you can choose not to hold it against that person. Don’t get historical.

Fact 4: Forgiveness does not require reunion.

Forgiveness and reconciliation are not the same. Certainly it is a worthy goal to have the gift of forgiveness lead to the restoration of a damaged relationship. But it takes two people to reconcile, and you have no control over anyone’s response except your own. Your offender may not respond graciously to your forgiveness. He or she may not be ready to acknowledge their part in the offence, accept forgiveness, or desire to be reconciled. Again, all that is required of you is to extend the grace of forgiveness. Remember, forgiveness is an overflow of gratitude for how much we have been forgiven. If I put on a mournful face and declare that I will forgive my brother “because someone has to be mature and take the bullet,” well, that is not quite what Jesus had in mind. Puffing myself up with the false humility of martyrdom (e.g., heavy sigh…I guess I have to be the “Christian” here) is not “forgiveness.” That cannot restore me to my brother or to my Lord.

Fact 5: Forgiveness is an act of the will.

It is not a response to feelings. Forgiveness requires choice and faith, just like every miracle. If we decide to wait until we “feel” like forgiving (or worse, wait until the other person makes the first move) we will remain spiritually stuck. We must choose to forgive, and to trust God to eventually change our feelings. The Holy Spirit will reshape our feelings over the course of time.

Fact 6: Forgiveness does not mean you do not acknowledge the offense.

Jesus is not asking us to ignore reality. After all, if we have not been wronged, there is nothing to forgive. He is asking us to acknowledge how much we have been forgiven and to extend the same courtesy to others. Forgiveness is acknowledging the offense without cover-up or excuse and still choosing to forgive.

The rest of the forgiveness thoughts are coming on Part 3 of God’s Weight Loss Plan.