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A lot of my colleagues over at Crosswalk are great at coming up with lists of things to do. My buddy Ray Pritchard wrote a great article titled Seven Reasons Not To Speak When You Are Angry. He also came up with 25 Reasons to Give Thanks When You Don’t Feel Like It. Holy Cow. After trying two or three things on the list I start being distracted by shiny objects and squirrels. The most read articles are often 8 ways to do this or 11 ways to do that. So today I tried to come up with my own article featuring a snappy list. So far I have “Six Things I Screwed Up Yesterday Because of My Own Self-Sufficiency” and “Seven Times I Didn’t Tame My Tongue This Week”. Hmmmm. Then I saw an article at Yahoo.com about a scientific study that shows five ways you can be happier. Let’s work with that. Here is part of that article.

Some scientists have argued that happiness is largely determined by genetics, health and other factors mostly outside of our control. But recent research suggests people actually can take charge of their own happiness and boost it through certain practices.

“The billion-dollar question is, is it possible to become happier?” said psychologist Sonja Lyubomirsky of the University of California, Riverside. “Despite the finding that happiness is partially genetically determined, and despite the finding that life situations have a smaller influence on our happiness than we think they do, we argue that still a large portion of happiness is in our power to change.”

Lyubomirsky spoke here Saturday at the annual meeting of the American Association for the Advancement of Science. She and colleagues last year reviewed 51 studies that tested attempts to increase happiness through different types of positive thinking, and found that these practices can significantly enhance well-being. The results were published in the Journal of Clinical Psychology.

Here are five things that research has shown can improve happiness:

1. Be grateful
2. Be optimistic
3. Count your blessings
4. Use your strengths
5. Commit acts of kindness

Seems like a good list. Where have I seen these things before? Was it in Oprah’s magazine? Reader’s Digest? Wait, it is coming to me now. Wait for it….it was in the Bible! Who knew that the One who created us would know how we could improve our happiness? Here is a little list that I compiled from God’s list.

1. Be thankful – Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful. Colossians 3, NLT

2. Be optimistic – “Don’t let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, and trust also in me. There is more than enough room in my Father’s home. If this were not so, would I have told you that I am going to prepare a place for you? When everything is ready, I will come and get you, so that you will always be with me where I am.” (John 14, NLT)

3. Count your blessings – Those who live to please the Spirit will harvest everlasting life from the Spirit. So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up. Therefore, whenever we have the opportunity, we should do good to everyone—especially to those in the family of faith. (Galatians 6, NLT)

4. Use your strengths – Just as our bodies have many parts and each part has a special function, so it is with Christ’s body. We are many parts of one body, and we all belong to each other. In his grace, God has given us different gifts for doing certain things well. (Romans 12, NLT)

5. Commit acts of kindness – Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you. (Ephesian 4, NLT)

The Journal of Clinical Psychology has some good thoughts. But to quote another wise man from the Bible. “Nothing under the sun is truly new”. I would agree with the study that our happiness can be genetically influenced. I have been much happier since my spiritual DNA was rewritten when I trusted Jesus as Savior. I became a new creature on that day. Believing the good news of the Gospel many years ago was the best answer for me to be happier. The other list is icing on the cake.

Some stories make me really angry. Some make me really sad. This one accomplishes both. First, the part that makes me angry.

State Delegate Bob Marshall of Manassas, Virginia says disabled children are God’s punishment to women who have aborted their first pregnancy. He made that statement last week at a press conference to oppose state funding for Planned Parenthood.

“The number of children who are born subsequent to a first abortion with handicaps has increased dramatically. Why? Because when you abort the first born of any, nature takes its vengeance on the subsequent children,” said Marshall. “In the Old Testament, the first born of every being, animal and man, was dedicated to the Lord. There’s a special punishment Christians would suggest.”

This particular Christian would suggest nothing of the kind. Mr. Marshall’s declaration of God’s intent is staggering in it’s arrogance. Is every child born after the mother has had an abortion delivered with handicaps? Of course not. Are some children born with handicaps to moms who never had an abortion? Of course. Joni and I are the parents of a little girl who was born with a profound birth defect. She lived eighteen months. Joni never had an abortion. But we did have a Christian “friend” who suggested that there might be sin in our lives that led to her birth defect. That was really helpful. Some of the events surrounding her birth and life led to my first book, When Bad Christians Happen to Good People.

The accusation did cause me to examine what a more reliable source said about who is to blame when hard things happen in life. Jesus was asked about some tragedies that had occurred and it is interesting to note that He did not establish blame…

Walking down the street, Jesus saw a man blind from birth. His disciples asked, “Rabbi, who sinned: this man or his parents, causing him to be born blind?”  Jesus said, “You’re asking the wrong question. You’re looking for someone to blame. There is no such cause-effect here. Look instead for what God can do.  (John 9, The Message)

There was another time when Jesus could have let us know how judgment is dispensed here on earth.

About this time Jesus was informed that Pilate had murdered some people from Galilee as they were sacrificing at the Temple in Jerusalem. “Do you think those Galileans were worse sinners than other people from Galilee?” he asked. “Is that why they suffered? Not at all! And you will also perish unless you turn from your evil ways and turn to God. And what about the eighteen men who died when the Tower of Siloam fell on them? Were they the worst sinners in Jerusalem? No, and I tell you again that unless you repent, you will also perish.”  (NLT, Luke 13)

If Jesus had a chance to establish blame and did not do it then I am pretty sure that a politician cannot decipher where God’s judgment might fall. Jesus did call for repentance as individuals. But He did not tie their spiritual condition to the tragedies that happen in life. My God disciplines as an act of grace but He does not punish. There is an incredible difference.

I do not question Mr.Marshall’s heart to protect the unborn. I share that desire. I do disagree strongly with his casting shame and doubt instead of stating his case for the value of life with grace and truth. That is the part that makes me sad. The comments that accompanied the article were typical and heartbreaking like this one from Sarah.

“These people call themselves Christian???? No wonder Christians are disliked often by the secular world.”

That would be my response if I were an unchurched person and I heard comments like this. You can stand firm for your convictions and still demonstrate grace. People are repelled by high-handed moralizing but they are drawn to grace. Tim Keller wrote this in his amazing book, The Reason for God.

God’s grace does not come to people who morally outperform others, but to those who admit their failure to perform and who acknowledge their need for a Savior.

Those who realize their need for a Savior are humbled by that grace. I have made the point many times that it is easy for unbelievers to dismiss the hypocrite. No problem to ignore the angry and judgmental religious types. But I remember being troubled when I saw some Christians who displayed something different in their lives. I could not dismiss so readily the joy, peace, strength, courage and love that they modeled. They were “troublesome” Christians to me.  I could not ignore them because their lives were authentic and different (different good, not weird). I want to be that kind of Christian.

I have loved watching the Olympic skiing. I sit slack-jawed as I watch Bode Miller and Lindsay Vonn attack the slopes with absolute abandon. I have skiied a little over the years although, to be authentic, my form more closely resembles Herman Munster on skis than Bode Miller. Still I have experienced enough to know how amazing and fearless these athletes are.

They come down the mountain on the absolute edge, pushing their limits with each run. I found myself desiring a little more of that in my own life. Not the skiing part. If I attempted what Bode Miller did yesterday you would be planning a lovely memorial for me at a local chapel. But I would like to take that attitude of fearlessness and living on the edge to my spiritual race. I have too often been tentative and uncertain. A skiier has to trust that if he puts his full weight on the skis and into the turn that he can make the turn and not fall.

Just like I tend to sit back on my skis I also have a tendency to not put my full weight on the spiritual truths of identity in Christ and grace as the course to my righteousness. My instinct is to shift my weight onto self-effort when I hit a life mogul. Not surprisingly, I fall. It feels counterintuitive when you are skiing to put your weight onto the skis and into the mountain when every part of your body says lean back. But experience tells you if you lean back you end up on your back or on parts nearby. It feels counterintuitive to lean on grace and dependence on the Spirit to resolve my sin issues when I want to pull back and trust my efforts.

Grace is an exhilarating run. I am still learning to keep my full weight on the practical theology of grace and who God says I am in Christ. Paul’s words to the Corinthian church sums up my desire.

You’ve all been to the stadium and seen the athletes race. Everyone runs; one wins. Run to win. All good athletes train hard. They do it for a gold medal that tarnishes and fades. You’re after one that’s gold eternally.

I don’t know about you, but I’m running hard for the finish line. I’m giving it everything I’ve got. No sloppy living for me! I’m staying alert and in top condition. I’m not going to get caught napping, telling everyone else all about it and then missing out myself.(The Message)

A story we heard from some dear friends keeps weighing on my mind. This couple had left Valentine gifts for their grandchild at his home. When asked after Valentines how he liked his gift my friend got a blank look from the grandchild. He said he had not received a gift. Hoping that he had forgotten or misunderstood the couple contacted the boy’s parents.

“Did you receive the gifts?”
“Yes.”
“Did you give them to Billy?”
“No, he has not been good enough to get any gifts.”

My friend’s hearts were broken. The gift to their grandchild was given in love with no behavioral strings attached. They did not care if he had been good or bad. The gift was given simply because they loved him. The message sent to this boy is damaging both emotionally and spiritually. You must earn good gifts. If you don’t do right things you will not get good gifts.

My heart hurt for my friends and for this little boy. And I wondered if I don’t hurt the heart of Jesus by similarly selfish views of His grace. His forgiveness, acceptance and love is a gift. I don’t have to be “good enough” to open His gifts of grace. I have learned that I get good things and receive love only when I am good and do good things. My parents and pastor were pleased (and I later substituted God) when I was good. So I learned to do the dance early. I had better be good. Or least fool everyone around me to think that I was being good.

Ask any child around Christmas if they are being good and I will wager you will never hear this response.

“Well, to be honest, I am really struggling with the whole being nice thing. I have actually been pouty and I cried yesterday. It just isn’t working out this Christmas so I suspect the video game system will have to wait until I can act better.”

Nope. What you hear is the lie that I learned early and too often keep handy in my arsenal decades later.

“Oh yeah. I am being really good!”

I learned a couple of things early. I learned how hard it is to change behavior by sheer willpower and I learned that I could fool Santa and others by living a lie. I figured I had fooled him and to get the good stuff I would have to continue to hide the little boy who broke an ornament and then hid it. That little boy was not worthy of good things. So I hid the truth about who I was because if they knew who I really was I wouldn’t get good gifts.

Isn’t that too often how we view God? So I put on the mask and try to be really good for Jesus. If I can fool those around me maybe, just maybe, I can fool God too. Satan sells the lie so convincingly. And we buy it for months and years and even decades. The little boy who was not good enough to receive his Valentine gift of love is learning the lie. You have to shape up to receive God’s love and the love of others.

But God does not keep a list of what we have done wrong. He is not impressed by our hernia inducing straining to control sin. In fact He is saddened by that self-effort because we neglect the power that we have over sin.

Jesus offers us so many gifts. But the one we seem to have the hardest time unwrapping is the gift of grace. The gift that allows us to become who God desires us to become as we simply trust Him and quit trying to be “good” so we can earn His favor and gifts. We are saved by grace and faith in Christ. We become like Him by the same radical strategy. Faith that He has changed us into a new creation. And understanding the grace that gives us good gifts even when we don’t deserve them.

Don’t make the mistake of thinking you have to get better to open His gifts of grace. Go straight to the gift of grace that Jesus left under the Cross. Open it. And clothe yourself in His salvation, acceptance and love. It may be the best gift you have ever given yourself. But not if the gift stays unopened.

It was six years ago this month that my father died. I miss him and I find myself loading up the iPod with the music he loved. Listening to the songs I grew up with makes me smile and remember him with great fondness. One of those songs was an old hymn sung by the Man in Black, Johnny Cash. It is a song that covers a lot of theology and provides a lot of comfort for me as I miss my dad.

There was a time on Earth when in the books of Heaven
That an Old Account was standin’ for sins yet unforgiven
My name was at the top there was many things below
But I went unto the keeper and I settled it long ago

Long ago,yes long ago I said the Old Account was settled long ago
And my record’s clear today ’cause he washed my sins away
And the Old Account was settled long ago

And that, in simple iPod theology, is justification. I cannot keep the law. God justified me and declared me righteous because of Jesus and His substitutionary death. Just as Paul argued to the Romans centuries ago that Abraham was declared righteous by believing and not for behaving. So it is with me.

From  the moment I trusted Jesus God credited to my account His righteousness. When I screw up He refuses to deduct that from my account. Do I believe that? That is the amazing grace of the gospel. I am as righteous as Abraham. I don’t have to work or beg or strive for it. That is crazy. But that is what God’s Word is saying.

So what happens if I believe this? Won’t I take advantage? I know me. I am lazy and undependable and easily distracted. Won’t I just become a sluggard for Jesus? Hmmmm….new non-profit idea? Sluggards for Jesus. At least it would be authentic. But the reality is that when you really trust the enormity of this forgiveness and grace you can only have one response.

You will worship.

It actually becomes not about me but about Him. And you will behave better. The following thought is borrowed from the TrueFaced Romans CD series because I could not write it any better. I did change the name in the quote to my bride’s name. I mention that because I did not want you to think Joni left me for a better speaker.

I have learned with Joni that I don’t do right stuff to earn her love. That is what I used to do. I do right stuff because I have found her love.
That changes how I love her and that changes how she responds. That is what this truth does. I don’t do right stuff to earn the love of Jesus. I do right stuff because I have found His love.

That is grace. Grace gives and we simply need to believe to receive it. Grace is free to receive. It was unthinkably costly for God to give. I am grateful that my dad received that offer of grace. I will always miss him but today I am smiling knowing that his account was settled long ago.

Every Valentine’s Day for the past five years has been different. Oh, I have the same Valentine but having her as my Valentine means a little more each year. In just five weeks we will celebrate four years as a cancer survivor for my bride. Walking with Joni through eleven long months of chemotherapy and radiation made my love and appreciation for her grow even deeper. I was listening to the old iPod and a song by the Turtles summed up the current state of the marital union. Cue booming announcer voice…

Let’s take you back forty years to the spring of 1967 when a California rock group hit number one with this song…Happy Together.

I think about you day and night, it’s only right
To think about the girl you love and hold her tight
So happy together

I can’t see me lovin’ nobody but you
For all my life
When you’re with me, baby the skies’ll be blue
For all my life

We are so happy to be together. More than ever. Solomon wrote a chapter in Proverbs that is most often used to warn about avoiding temptation and the dangers that lurk with unfaithfulness. But lost in the negatives of that chapter is this wonderful bit of positive advice.

Let your wife be a fountain of blessing for you.
      Rejoice in the wife of your youth.  (Proverbs 5:18, NLT)

I have often joked that I married my trophy wife first and got it over with. But the truth is that I did not always appreciate the bride that God had given me. Thank God I slowed down long enough to realize that I am blessed beyond measure by this incredible woman. I have censored the first part of verse nineteen because the advice there is a bit personal…not that there is anything wrong with it. (I am pretty sure I just drove many of you to Proverbs).

I will pick up with last part of the verse…

      May you always be captivated by her love.

I intend to do just that. She makes it easy.

A song by Rascal Flatts made me ponder a larger question today. The song is called “My Wish” and the lyrics are really nice.

My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you’re out there getting where you’re getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.

We wish a lot of things that good. We wish good health for those we like and love. We wish that friends and family will prosper. But if I could have one wish for you what would it be? I think I would wish that every one would be able to experience the safety and acceptance of a community of grace. And if that wish is too big then I would wish for a room of grace. I especially wish that grace environment for my brothers and sisters in the faith who have been wounded by the church, other Christians and by life. I wish that those aching souls could find a place where trust can be possible and love can be accepted.

My friend John Lynch says it well.

“Imagine a safe place where the worst of you could be known and yet you would discover that you were loved more, not less, for the telling.”

I confess that I once thought that wish to be an impossible dream. But I am experiencing that place now. Perhaps not yet a community but small pockets of grace that are slowly expanding in influence. I will not give up on my wish for you. I pray that I will be able to create a room of grace where my friends and family will find it safe to be known.

What would such a place look like? 

The novel Bo’s Cafe tells the story of a man who needs grace desperately. His story is no different from mine or yours. We need grace desperately as well. Pick it up. And let me know what you think.