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I have been doing this church thing for a lot of years. I have sung hundreds of songs over the four decades or so that I have been darkening the church door. Some songs have great meaning to me. Some lyrics moved me to deep worship of God. Some times I really meant what I was singing. Other times I was singing through the motions while thinking about lunch and when the kick-off was going to happen. Gotta think that Satan loves the ADD brain.

One song that has always made me uncomfortable came up on the iPod today. The song was put to music by the legendary George Beverly Shea in 1932. The words were a poem written by Mrs.Rhea Miller in 1922. Shea recalled the moment.

At the age of twenty-three, I was living at home with my parents, continuing to work at Mutual Life Insurance and studying voice. Going to the piano one Sunday morning, I found a poem waiting for me there. I recognized my mother’s handwriting. She had copied the words of a poem by Mrs. Rhea F. Miller, knowing that I would read the beautiful message, which speaks of choice. As I read these precious words:

    I’d rather have Jesus than men’s applause.
    I’d rather be faithful to His dear cause.

I found myself singing the words in a melody that expressed the feelings of my heart.”

Thanks to Mr.Shea I found myself going through a rather uncomfortable self-examination today.

I’d rather have Jesus than silver or gold;
I’d rather be His than have riches untold;
I’d rather have Jesus than houses or lands,
I’d rather be led by His nail pierced hand.

What a timely verse for times like these. As I watch my worth dwindle daily can I really say that I would rather have Jesus than silver or gold? Maybe our economy will make that decision for me. Do I mean it when I sing that I’d rather be led by his nail pierced hand? Am I prepared to make Jesus more than an “activity” in my busy life? What would I have said if I was the young rich man described in Matthew? Here is the text from The Message.

Another day, a man stopped Jesus and asked, “Teacher, what good thing must I do to get eternal life?”  Jesus said, “Why do you question me about what’s good? God is the One who is good. If you want to enter the life of God, just do what he tells you.”

 The man asked, “What in particular?”

 Jesus said, “Don’t murder, don’t commit adultery, don’t steal, don’t lie, honor your father and mother, and love your neighbor as you do yourself.” The young man said, “I’ve done all that. What’s left?”

His response has always surprised me. I think I would have begged for mercy after that list. But the young man thought he was doing just fine. And then Jesus exposed his heart.

 “If you want to give it all you’ve got,” Jesus replied, “go sell your possessions; give everything to the poor. All your wealth will then be in heaven. Then come follow me.”

That was the last thing the young man expected to hear. And so, crest-fallen, he walked away. He was holding on tight to a lot of things, and he couldn’t bear to let go.

I have held on tight to a lot of things. As I get older I wonder why..

 As he watched him go, Jesus told his disciples, “Do you have any idea how difficult it is for the rich to enter God’s kingdom? Let me tell you, it’s easier to gallop a camel through a needle’s eye than for the rich to enter God’s kingdom.”

 The disciples were staggered. “Then who has any chance at all?”

 Jesus looked hard at them and said, “No chance at all if you think you can pull it off yourself. Every chance in the world if you trust God to do it.”

I can do that. I can trust God. I have no choice because I have a long and spectacular track record of not being able to live this journey on my own ability. The song continues.

I’d rather have Jesus than men’s applause;
I’d rather be faithful to His dear cause;
I’d rather have Jesus than world-wide fame,
I’d rather be true to His holy name.

Given the sales of my books I am pretty safe from the world-wide fame snare. But I do crave men’s applause if I am not careful.

He’s all that my hungering spirit needs,
I’d rather have Jesus and let Him lead.

Perhaps the uncertainty in the world will cause all of us to evaluate our dependence on Christ. I hope that I will continue to grow in my desire to echo Paul and his words to the Phillipians.

“What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ.”

So can I sing the words of this classic hymn and mean it? I am getting closer as I learn (slowly) to put my full weight on the truths of identity in Christ and grace.

Today I was sitting at my nephew’s house in Southern Ohio when I heard a THUMP! Then another THUMP! Going to investigate I found that a beautiful Cardinal was sitting on a branch near the dining room window. I guess he saw his reflection because he would look at the window, take off and fly smack into it. THUMP! He did this over and over.

(Actual shot of “Thumper the Concussed Redbird”)

I remembered that I had a similar experience with a bird back in Texas so I was relieved that this is not just a Red State phenomenon. I thought I would revisit my comments on Avian behavior and how that relates to my personal journey. No, I have not yet seen my reflection in a mirror and attacked it. I would more likely move quickly away. I like to think I am smarter than that bird so I laugh and make fun of him for mindlessly hitting the same window time after time. Obviously he is not hurting himself too badly because he comes back every day for the morning concussion. Stupid bird.

But the sad parallel is that for years and years I would go out and imitate this poor creature with my own daily behaviors as a Christian.

Day after day I went out and slammed up against the same spiritual windows. Einstein was once quoted as saying that “insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.” I am not quite willing to concede that I was insane. But the truth is that I did approach my spiritual life the same way everyday while somehow expecting different results. If I am hitting the same window over and over maybe it is time to change my approach. Scripture tells me that I should be producing fruit in my walk with Jesus.

If I am truly grafted into the True Vine I will be producing fruit. But I too often decide to THUMP against the window of my own desires and selfishness. I THUMP against the ridiculous theology that I can produce fruit with my own talents and disciplined strivings. Jesus said this in the Gospel of John.

You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit—fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name. This is my command: Love each other.  (John 15, NIV)

Sometimes I make this so hard. I am asked to trust in Jesus daily because I can do nothing on my own. When I do that Jesus says I will produce fruit. Then the Father will give me whatever I ask in His name. Then He commanded me to love one another. That is not a “helpful suggestion“. That is a command. But that doesn’t fit my bird-brain plan.

My strategy is to ask for the Father to give me whatever I ask first and then I will get around to producing fruit. THUMP.

And then I decide that some people I simply cannot love. THUMP.

If I just try harder in my own ability I will produce fruit. THUMP.

I rationalize that I just can’t produce fruit right now because of  (insert difficult life circumstance here). THUMP.

Yep. I am a lot smarter than that bird. It only took me thirty-six years to figure out I needed to change my approach. Stupid bird.

I have learned to reserve my use of the word hate. I don’t say that I hate those who oppose my faith. I don’t hate those who have opposite political views. I don’t even hate the Michigan Wolverines even though that will get my Buckeye passport revoked. I do, however, have a few things for which I will use the word hate.

I hate legalism in Christianity. Legalism is answering to the wrong source of authority. Legalists default to religious traditions rather than the Word of God. My faith journey began in a legalistic church. I will probably always walk with a bit of a spiritual limp. Legalism has reared it’s ugly and sinful head in the lives of some very dear friends. They are being hurt by church-goers who are living in legalism. 

Legalism takes the sweet Gospel of Jesus Christ and mixes in some “churchified” version of the law. Church by-laws occupy equal footing with God’s Word. Righteousness is no longer about Christ but about right behavior as only they define it. Legalism cherry picks verses that support behavioral control while conveniently ignoring dozens of verses about grace, forgiveness, kindness, love, gentleness and forbearance.

Focusing on right behavior does make you moral and perhaps a good person. It does not make you righteous. Such focus is not much different (if at all) from an agnostic or sporadic church-goer who really tries hard to do right and moral things. Tim Keller wrote this provocative thought about legalism in his wonderful book The Reason for God.

The devil, if anything, prefers Pharisees—men and women who try to save themselves. They are more unhappy than either mature Christians or irreligious people, and they do a lot more spiritual damage.

Without a doubt. I have been damaged. I have seen loved ones damaged. I have damaged others.

I hate legalism but I don’t hate legalists. I hurt for them. I suspect they are tired, miserable and wondering what happened to the once joyous message of the Gospel. What happened is that we take God’s amazing grace and mix in our own interpretation of the law. Never watching an R-rated movie or touching alcohol does not make me righteous. Going to church six times a week does not make me righteous.

Righteousness is entirely because of Christ. Nothing I have done or will do will make me righteous. I spent three decades trying to be “righteous”. When I hit a dry spell I would try harder, read more books, buck up and beat myself up because I felt so distant from God. Lots of helpful Christian friends would faithfully remind me that God hadn’t moved so it had to be me. So I disliked myself more and tried harder and God seemed even more distant. And I got tired. I was discouraged. I got wounded again by the church. I had reached the end of my spiritual rope. I cried out to Jesus something along these lines.

“I CAN’T DO THIS ANYMORE!”

God does not get insulted by all-caps. In fact, I imagine that Jesus smiled at that point because I was finally ready to trust Him and not myself. I had reached the point of brokenness that allowed me turn over the keys to Christ. I reached the point where I no longer had to be right. I had reached the point where I didn’t want to wear a phony mask of holiness. I had reached the point where I was willing to trust God completely with everything about me. I had reached the point where I was ready for grace. I had reached the point where I was willing to believe what God says is true about me. That I am completely forgiven. I am completely loved. I am completely changed because of Christ. I am completely empowered with the Holy Spirit to mature into all of those things that are already true about me. I am righteous not because of anything I have done but entirely because of Christ.

If you are tired enough, discouraged enough, wounded enough and ready to scream you can’t do this anymore then I have good news. You are ready for grace. If you haven’t done it then please listen to the message of the Two Roads and Two Rooms. 

God is waiting for you to experience His grace. Legalism is a dead end street to misery. There is a better road. What have you got to lose?

On too many occasions recently I have been visiting with someone who has cancer or who has a friend or family member with the disease. I sometimes refer them to the website to read some of our experiences during Joni’s breast cancer journey. I decided to make it easy for anyone who wants to share what God has taught us with others that are currently going through this trial. Here are some of the “cancer chronicles” that Joni and I have written over the past year.

A word of encouragement to those beginning the journey. Cancer is scary. The treatments seem overwhelming. But here is what Joni and I have learned. God gives you the grace and strength to take this journey one step and one day at a time. You will look back at the end and wonder, “how did I do that?” Be encouraged that you can. Stay steadfast in your faith. Keep your sense of humor as much as possible. Determine that the cancer has picked a formidable foe and don’t give in.

You can do it. We did.

Here are some links followed by a brief capsule of the contents.

Sentences that change your life … Reflections on the shock of hearing Joni’s diagnosis and the plan that we implemented to not “waste her cancer”.

How to be a good cancer buddy … What to say and what not to say when your friend has cancer.

I will praise you in this storm … The theme song we adopted for the journey.

I am a rock? … Joni’s touching gift to me on my birthday.

Wouldn’t take nothing for the journey now … Written the day before we began the frightening chemotherapy regimen.

Poison for healing? … The mindboggling concept of using poison for good.

The Ultimate Oxymoron? … Cancer humor may seem like the ultimate oxymoron but we found it was vital to healing.

Bald is Beautiful – Part 1 … A tribute to my beautiful bride when she lost temporary custody of her hair.

Bald is Beautiful – Part 2 … A tribute to the amazing women who make up the breast cancer sisterhood.

Round 3  … Rocky had nothing on my bride in toughness.

Unmasked … The realization that we did not have to be superhuman in this journey.

The meaning of Kemosabe … Reflections on the privilege of being Joni’s “chemo-sabe” during her treatments.

In our last episode … When we had a little adventure that was not in the brochure I decided to use some old movie stills to tell the story.

Kleenex Warning … It is okay to be scared. But you don’t have to stay there.

One Finish Line in Sight … Part of the plan is setting up markers along the journey. Rejoice when you hit each goal.

We’ll remember always…Diagnosis Day … Some days you will always remember. D-Day is one of those.

Reflections from the Slow Drip Spa … The amazing spirit that permeates the cancer treatment center humbles me.

I have eyebrows! … Joni’s realization that sometimes incredible blessings come in the oddest ways.

Pop the top! … A PG rated note from Joni about ditching the wig and going with her sassy short hair look.

Book plug (not mine): Joni found tremendous comfort and insight in a book that we now give to cancer patients. The book is called Praying Through Cancer…Set Your Heart Free From Fear. It is excellent.

Joni and I pray that you will trust Him completely in the journey. We would love to hear from you if you (or a loved one) are on the cancer journey now.

Blessings and peace in the trial.

Dave

A coalition of musicians including Pearl Jam and R. E. M. backed a formal demand yesterday to be told if their songs had been used to torture detainees in Guantánamo Bay and Iraq. There have been many allegations by former prisoners that they were blasted with excruciatingly loud music for months on end — a tactic that is banned under the UN Convention Against Torture but not yet from the US Army Field Manual. (London Times Online)

I am not advocating torture (see, I’m not such a bad Christian) but I have to admit that it is pretty funny that one of the songs they allegedly used was a Barney the Purple Dinosaur song.

“I Love, you love me, we’re a great big family…”

Aghhhhhhhh! Stop. I’ll talk!

If I were ever captured a  more effective way to get me to break would be to cue up a couple of TV preachers on a continuous loop. I wouldn’t last a day. It brought to mind an article I wrote earlier about earworms. An earworm is a term for a portion of a song that becomes “stuck” in your head and you cannot get it out of your mind. Soon you are literally out of your mind. A survey of several hundred students came up with a list of the most insidious earworms.

Chili’s “Baby Back Ribs” jingle (“I want my baby back, baby back, baby back…”)

Who Let the Dogs Out (“Who let the dogs out…woof, woof, woof, woof…Who let the dogs out…woof, woof, woof, woof…”)

Kit-Kat candy-bar jingle (“Gimme a Break, Gimme a Break …”)

The Lion Sleeps Tonight (“We-de-de-de, de-de-de-de-de de, we-um-um-a-way – drum fill – We-de-de-de, de-de-de-de-de de, we-um-um-a-way…A wimoweh, a-wimoweh a-wimoweh, a wimoweh”) Note: That also makes your spell checker go crazy.

“It’s a Small World After All” (“It’s a small world after all…it’s a small world after all…it’s a small, small world…”)

From the Disney earworm file I would add the Pirates of the Caribbean (“Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate’s life for me…”)

I have to confess to an occasional really bad Christian moment. I have been known to quietly hum The Chicken Dance (na-na-na-na-na-na-na) in a crowded office space and then listen for the earworm to take root. Someone will start humming the song and catch themselves and begin agitated grumbling.

I know. I am a sinner. But it is pretty funny to watch.

There are lots of other songs that you absolutely hate to hear because you know the “earworm” will bury deep in your brain for the rest of the day. But musical earworms are generally annoying and not really dangerous. There are other earworms that damage our relationships and even our walk with Jesus. These are the portions of our life history that get stuck in our heads. You know what I mean. Those old lyrics get played and the spiritual battle earworm takes hold.

“You will never change.”

“Why even try? You will just fail again.”

“You are not enough.”

“You are faking and everyone knows.”

“Everyone is doing fine except you.”

“You are not smart enough…pretty enough…tough enough…whatever enough”

“God is tired of your failures and He is tired of you.”

Satan is even meaner than me humming the Chicken Dance. He will plant those damaging earworms in your heart and mind. And if we don’t have a defense plan they will rob us of our peace, joy and relationships. I will defer again to my friends at TrueFaced. Their book and principles have helped me to recognize and repel Satan’s earworms. When I hear those old tapes start playing I simply think or say out loud this simple statement of fact.

“That is not who I am anymore.”

Because of Christ I am a new person. I have been changed. And my mission is to allow God to love me and mature me into what is already true about me. I am a saint who sometimes sins, not a sinner trying to become a saint. So when the earworms of deceit and destruction start in your mind you can shut them down by simply stating the truth.

That is not who I am anymore.

Since we believe that Christ died for all, we also believe that we have all died to our old life. He died for everyone so that those who receive his new life will no longer live for themselves. Instead, they will live for Christ, who died and was raised for them. So we have stopped evaluating others from a human point of view. At one time we thought of Christ merely from a human point of view. How differently we know him now! This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun! And all of this is a gift from God, who brought us back to himself through Christ. (I Corinthians 5, NLT)

By the way…it is okay to let that passage get stuck in your head. In fact, I recommend it. And finally let me leave you with this…

Na na na na na na na na na na na na,
Na na na na na na na na na na na na,
Na na na na na na na na na na na na
Bom, bom, bom, bom…

Sorry.

 

Dear friend Sue always talks about “bucket-fillers”. These are the people that bless and encourage you. You leave them with a smile and a bounce in your step. Sue is one of them. I thank God for those wonderful folks.

Then there are the opposites. The dreaded “bucket-drainers” who seem to derive their joy by dipping out cupfuls of your joy. I have a confession to make. I have spent too much time recently allowing the bucket drainers to practice their sad gift in my life. I grew discouraged that I try to be transparent and write from my heart only to get smacked down by legalists who seem to miss the point entirely. I know that goes with the territory. I know that I am trying to communicate grace and that some fear that message with a passion that astounds me. I simply grew tired of the beat down from the spiritual hall monitors. If I might paraphrase the comment from the E-Trade baby to his golfing buddy Ralph in a recent TV commericial…

“Why don’t your try reading Ephesians and Romans and Colossians Legal-potamus!”

So I wandered in the cyber desert for the past 30 days. Yesterday I opened up the email and found this message from Mack.

Hi Dave,

I’m one of your tens of readers. Just curious when you will post again . Hope all is well!!!

Made me chuckle. Earlier I had a similar note from Randy.

Hiya Dave, 

I’m sure you get ten-thousand emails like this every day, but i just wanted to drop you a note and let you know that i miss you in the blogosphere.  Hope you’re okay.

Uhhh….sure Randy. Each one of my tens of readers send me hundreds of emails each day.

Long ago high school friend Yolanda popped in on Facebook with this message.

Realized I had not been getting any smiles from you lately…hope all is well.

Thanks Mack and Randy and Yolanda for taking a moment to refill the bucket. It means a lot. The power of community and grace is amazing. But my main issue was not the spiritual hall monitors and their comments. The main problem is that I forgot to practice what I was preachin’ when I wrote words like these.

When I was a kid the preachers used to bellow about revival. We need REVIVAL! Lord, give us revival! They would have week long revival meetings badgering us to sell out. We got yelled at about our sin. We heard clearly a message of condemnation and fear. We heard that we had better shape up or else! We heard stories about backslidden Christians burning in hell because they wouldn’t repent. We heard that we had better get serious about Jesus.  And we believed we would. That fear based compliance lasted for a day or two or maybe a couple of months if we really got convicted.

What a difference a revival centered on the grace of God might make in the church and ultimately the culture. What if a revival was based not on avoidance of damnation but on being reconciled to have an actual relationship with God? What if Christians really understood that they are new creatures when they put their trust by faith in Jesus? What if Christians really got that there is no condemnation for them because of the Cross? What if Christians really understood that they are no longer have to prove anything and they could instead trust God with their maturing into who He created them to be? What if Christians saw that Jesus stood beside them ready to resolve their sin instead of looking with disappointment from afar? What if Christians learned to trust God and others with who they really are and dropped the dadgum masks? (My grandfather’s favorite Christian cuss word). What if Christians had the courage to put their full weight on these truths of identity and grace and allowed God to love them and others through them? What if Christians really trusted who God says He is? Could we change our walk with Jesus? Could we change our family? Our church? Our culture? Dare we believe this? In Hebrews you find a familiar passage that lays out a simple starting point.

It’s impossible to please God apart from faith. And why? Because anyone who wants to approach God must believe both that he exists and that he cares enough to respond to those who seek him. (Hebrews 11, The Message)

You have to trust these truths everyday. You have to remind yourself that you are a saint not because of your knowledge or goodness or discipline but because of Christ. Your humble correspondent forgot who he was for a few weeks. Thanks for caring enough to reach out. We are all in this together. So today I put my full weight on my identity in Christ and the transforming power of grace. It is amazing how quickly the bucket is refilling.

Today you will see why I keep “Confessions of a Bad Christian” as my blog title. Recently the movie Bull Durham was on a cable channel and I watched it again. Hard to believe it has been over 20 years since it was released. In this article I am going to draw some spiritual applications from an R-rated movie. Gasp. In my early church experience real Christians didn’t watch any movie and most assuredly not an R-rated one. The really godly people did not drink or dance. The really, really godly people did not have televisions. They were a laugh a minute. If any of those folks were to read today’s post they would no doubt remove me from their fellowship that I used to call “The First Church Of Misery Loves Company But We Probably Won’t Love You”. 

Despite that risk of censure I press on. No baseball movie that I have seen comes closer to capturing the unique culture of baseball like Bull Durham. It has some rough language and sexual content (see previous sentence). So parents and good Christians should proceed with caution. The main characters are a young pitching phenom (Nook LaLoosh) and a nearly washed up but knowledgeable catcher (Crash Davis) that is brought in to mentor the prize prospect. One of my favorite scenes is when Crash teaches the young pitcher how to handle interviews with the press.

Crash Davis: “It’s time to work on your interviews.”
Nuke LaLoosh: “My interviews? What do I gotta do?”
Crash Davis: “You’re gonna have to learn your clichés. You’re gonna have to study them, you’re gonna have to know them. They’re your friends. Write this down: “We gotta play it one day at a time.”
Nuke LaLoosh: “Got to play… it’s pretty boring.”
Crash Davis: “Course it’s boring, that’s the point. Write it down.”

I have learned that the journey with Jesus is simply living it one day at a time. Write it down. You can’t live in regret of the past. It is forgiven. You can’t live in fear of the future. It is in God’s Hands. You live in the moment, one day at a time, trusting Him for that day. That’s the point. Play it one day at a time.

My friend John Weber passed away two years ago. He had a saying that I love.

“God didn’t call me to be spectacular. He called me to be faithful.”

Write it down.

Another quote from the movie Bull Durham had spiritual application for me.

“This is a very simple game. You throw the ball, you catch the ball, you hit the ball. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, sometimes it rains.”

In many ways Christianity is a very simple faith that we have made incredibly legalistic and difficult. To paraphrase the line above. “You love the Lord your God. You love your neighbor. Sometimes it is easy. sometimes it is hard. Sometimes life rains on you.” 

Why do I want to make it so maddeningly complex? Jesus said that two things are the most important.

One of the religion scholars came up. Hearing the lively exchanges of question and answer and seeing how sharp Jesus was in his answers, he put in his question: “Which is most important of all the commandments?”
Jesus said, “The first in importance is, ‘Listen, Israel: The Lord your God is one; so love the Lord God with all your passion and prayer and intelligence and energy.’ And here is the second: ‘Love others as well as you love yourself.’ There is no other commandment that ranks with these.”

Today I sit here and wonder why I ever tried to make it anything else? The scholar who heard the words of Jesus “got it”.

The religion scholar said, “A wonderful answer, Teacher! So lucid and accurate—that God is one and there is no other. And loving him with all passion and intelligence and energy, and loving others as well as you love yourself. Why, that’s better than all offerings and sacrifices put together!” (Mark 12, The Message)

I wonder how the body of Christ would look differently if we concentrated on those two simple commands? Would we worry so much about the worship music style and the vestibule carpet color? Why do we get so exorcised about what other Christians are doing and other people are saying? Why do we care so much about being treated fairly and getting what we deserve? If we concentrated on those two commands we would be so much happier and effective for Christ. We would experience and give grace.

But do I get it? Or do I still get sidetracked by life and pride and worries? It is really very simple. Love the Lord your God with all of your heart. Read the Word daily. Love others as you love yourself. That is what Jesus told me to do. Nothing about programs or positions or curriculum or strategies.

Love God. Love others.

Write it down.