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I hit a nerve with a lot of people with the post about forgiveness. I lot of you thought my ideas fit into the philosophy of  “nothing is impossible for the person who doesn’t have to do it.” My thoughts were addressed to a wounded lamb who identified himself as “doormat”. That post brought a return response from doormat who graciously thanked me for the effort to address his situation.

Thank you for taking so much time to respond to my post. I don’t expect you to go on and on with me. I know the ultimate answer is “Jesus surrendered His rights so who do you think you are?”

First of all, you are welcome. Anyone who knows anything about me knows that I have a heart for wounded lambs. I would be willing to go on and on with you if God could somehow use my words to help you heal and forgive. I think you got it partially right about the ultimate answer. Yes, Jesus did surrender His rights and we are all trying to follow Him and become more like Him. But we ain’t there yet. So who do I think you are? I think you are an honest, sincere, wounded lamb trying to do the right thing in the middle of anger and pain. So if I can be patient with that I am sure the Good Shepherd is infinitely more patient with your struggle. I understand that forgiveness is rarely instantaneous. It is a process based on knowledge of God’s Word and faith.

Is a Christian allowed to have an attorney to defend his rights and to maybe even fight for damages on behalf of the wronged person? As a Christian, can I have my own attorney and can I press charges against the pastor who deliberately took advantage of me and violated my rights? Do Christians have the same rights every other citizen of this country has? Must I give up my rights? These questions are rhetorical.

I don’t know your situation. I don’t know how you have been damaged. I do believe it is important to separate your legal response from the biblical response that Jesus taught. I am not going to tell you that you cannot take legal action, that you cannot have a lawyer, and that you cannot seek recovery of damages. Of course you have every right to do that as a citizen of this country. But I have learned in my five decades on this planet that your spiritual peace and joy will be unrelated to the success of your lawsuit or whatever you can recover through legal action. If this pastor or church leader is a danger to others you might well be doing a service by pursuing such action. But your own soul will not find peace until you are willing to forgive. You probably think I have never experienced anything like you are going through and that may well be true. But I would invite you to read the story of the rejection of our infant daughter Katie by our local church. That was pretty rough. But we had to be willing to forgive to be healed.

I don’t think the Father of the crucified Christ imagined that His Son’s death could be one day used to manipulate believers into positions of surrendering their rights out of respect for what Christ did for him. That is the answer, I think.

I am sure that God knew the depths of depravity and the wicked potential of men to misuse the wonderful gift of salvation and grace that Jesus offered. But that is a part of the miracle of the incarnation. Jesus became a man and has walked in our skin. He understands how that betrayal feels and when you take it to Him…He gets it.

I’ve read other posts where people have said that being a Christian has blessings and rewards but this is just not my experience.

I think we have done a disservice in our zeal to tell others about Christianity. We talk about blessings and rewards and how Jesus is the answer and I believe all of that is true. But Jesus never promised blue skies, green lights, and a non-stop giggle fest. He told us this journey would be hard. He said to follow Him. And when we follow Him we will go to some of the places that He visited. Ugly places like betrayal and loneliness. But as we follow Him we can also go with Him to places like peace and joy and comfort in the arms of our Heavenly Father.

I can relate to what Camille said when she referred to her forgiveness coming and going in waves. You can most sincerely have the desire to forgive, deeply and desperately, and you can actually get “there” but the memories come back like a wave and just knock you down and pull you back under. Everytime I read or hear someone comment that Christian leaders should be held to a higher standard I feel feverish and weak, and I ask myself how long before I can get the memory of this A@* hole out of life?

I wish I could answer that.  I have had to deal with these same issues and I argued with God about these very topics. My friend Matt Blackmon tells the story of how he refused to forgive. Matt relates how God seemed to speak to him and asked him are you willing to forgive? His response was a loud, “NO, that is why we are having this discussion!”

Allow me to share a bit more from my book “Bring’em Back Alive“.

Mark Twain and I share at least one common sentiment when he wrote that “Most people are bothered by those passages of Scripture they do not understand, but the passages that bother me are those I do understand.” Forgiveness is a foundational condition of growth throughout Scripture. Here are some passages that I completely understand that have bothered me for years.

In prayer there is a connection between what God does and what you do. You can’t get forgiveness from God, for instance, without also forgiving others. Matthew 6:14 

 Do you think we might have found the link to why so many of us hit a spiritual plateau and just stay there?  But we look for an escape clause somewhere in the contract or a special exemption for our “situation.” Lord, you KNOW how bad the people I have to deal with are and I know that as a loving God you will cut me a little slack. God’s love is revealed in that He does not cut us any slack. Our Creator knows what research is now showing…that a lack of forgiveness is not only a spiritual problem, it can manifest itself as a health risk.

Be gentle with one another, sensitive. Forgive one another as quickly and thoroughly as God in Christ forgave you. Ephes. 4:32 
 
 The “as quickly” part is hard enough…the “as thoroughly” clause is nigh on to impossible.

And when you assume the posture of prayer, remember that it’s not all asking. If you have anything against someone, forgive-only then will your heavenly Father be inclined to also wipe your slate clean of sins.” Mark 11:25

 Only then? Jesus you must understand how impossible it would be to forgive that offense against me? The truth is that He does understand perfectly how impossible that command is to implement. And that is one more reason that following the teachings of Christ should cause us to give up on self and depend on Jesus to live this incredible journey.
 
“Be alert. If you see your friend going wrong, correct him. If he responds, forgive him. Even if it’s personal against you and repeated seven times through the day, and seven times he says, ‘I’m sorry, I won’t do it again,’ forgive him.” Mark 11:25

 Maybe I could manage once or twice but doesn’t continually forgiving make me a fool? Did you maybe misspeak there a little bit? Isn’t it interesting how we will subconsciously negotiate with God about what He really meant? The text seems pretty clear in all of the translations. There are no exceptions for me or you.

And that is the hard truth I have come to in my journey. A post from a person identifying himself as No Name disagrees with me completely.

you don’t have to forgive anyone who abuses you premeditatively and deliberately and who does not even ask for forgiveness especially if that person happens to be your own pastor especially if that person abused his position especially if that person took money that was not his to take especially if that person used confidential information to place himself in the driver’s seat

Before I accepted the unmerited forgiveness of a Holy God I would have totally agreed with No Name. But now I am the one who has been forgiven much . In fact I believe you do have to ultimately forgive no matter how premeditated or whether the offenders seek forgiveness or not. Because when I face the Savior who extended grace to me He will only judge my actions. I am accountable only for me. I can respond (eventually) in forgiveness if I can shift my focus from how much I have been wronged to how much I have been forgiven.

i love to read what dave wrote but oh please people use common sense don’t be pollyannas don’t be stupid

no this is pathetic

No Name

Thank you for the compliment (I think). It has been a long time since I have been accused of being a Pollyanna. The stupid part is old news according to many readers. But as hard as this concept is for me (and you) to accept it is not stupid or pathetic or weak. It is truth. God’s Word makes it very clear what we must do. His grace makes it possible. Forgiveness may well be the missing ingredient to true revival in the church. Clearly our lack of forgiveness is a major impediment to growth. I believe that we attract people to Christ when we behave in a way that is supernatural. From watching televangelists you would equate the supernatural with miraculous healings or speaking in tongues. I am not going to debate those manifestations in this book. I am instead going down the path that Radio Host Steve Brown traveled when he observed. “We can claim to have supernatural love, but it’s only supernatural when one would expect hatred instead. We can claim to be forgiving, but forgiveness is supernatural only when there is no earthly reason for one to be forgiving. Compassion is supernatural when the smart thing to do is look out for number one. Joy is supernatural when circumstances don’t warrant it.”

The truth is I don’t like this any more than you do. But lawyer or not, I don’t see a personal waiver for me in God’s Word. You may need to seek another fellowship. You may need to examine legal avenues. You may need to seek counseling or a support group. But Jesus makes it clear that He expects the forgiven to also be forgivers.

The informal meaning of post mortem is an analysis or review of a finished event. One previous post is ready for a “post” mortem examination and another should soon be there. Let’s take a look at a couple of prior stories and where they stand.

• Jesus wins round one in Italy

I wrote about an atheist who was going to take a former friend and Catholic priest to court to prove the historical existence of Jesus. The Washington Post recently reported that “an Italian judge has dismissed an atheist’s petition that a small-town priest should stand trial for asserting that Jesus Christ existed. Luigi Cascioli, a 72-year-old retired agronomist, had accused the Rev. Enrico Righi of violating two laws with the assertion, which he called a deceptive fable propagated by the Roman Catholic Church. “The Rev. Righi is very satisfied and moved,” Righi’s attorney, Severo Bruno, said. “He is an old, small-town parish priest who never would have thought he’d be in the spotlight for something like this.” Cascioli, a former schoolmate of Righi’s, said he had not expected the case to succeed in overwhelmingly Roman Catholic Italy. “This is not surprising but it doesn’t mean it all ends here,” he said, adding that he’s considering taking the case to the European Court of Human Rights. “This is an important case and it deserves to go ahead,” he said. Judge Gaetano Mautone said in his decision that prosecutors should investigate Cascioli for possible slander.”

Here is what I had written earlier about the validity of the trial.

For me the real question is not whether Jesus existed. That seems pretty clear to most. There is a very real question for everyone about who Jesus was and what that means in your life and mine. What the writers of the Talmud called sorcery the followers of Yeshua called miracles. The apostasy that led to the death of Jesus was called the Truth by His followers. Putting Jesus on a mock trial in Italy does not change the fact that every person must answer the question of who Jesus is. Some simply dismiss the question out of hand. Foolishness they scoff. A crutch for weaklings say others. Some struggle and look for empiracle and overwhelming evidence to support a step of faith. I find it fascinating that there is evidence to believe if you are looking for it. And there is evidence not to believe if you are looking for that. Faith ultimately means you have to step on one side of the line or the other. Everyone of us must answer the question that Peter and the Apostles did.

One day as Jesus was alone, praying, he came over to his disciples and asked them, “Who do people say I am?”
 “Well,” they replied, “some say John the Baptist, some say Elijah, and others say you are one of the other ancient prophets risen from the dead.”

 Then he asked them, “Who do you say I am?”

  Peter replied, “You are the Messiah sent from God!”

Peter’s impulsive replies often got him in the disciple doghouse but he hit this one out of the theological park. So when the million dollar question is presented to me here is my strategy.

Jesus is: 

A)    A made up figure
B)    A great teacher
C)    A crazy man
D)    The Messiah sent from God

I am going with D, Regis, the Messiah sent from God. Final Answer.

• Man who changed name to KentuckyFriedCruelty.com still moving awkwardly about.

Now that his fifteen minutes are over the former Chris Garnett gets to deal with the monumental hassles of explaining his name to banks, credit card companies, car rental agencies, etc. Recently Pamela Anderson joined the vegan formerly known as Chris and launched a campaign to have the statue of Colonel Sanders removed from the Kentucky state house. In one of the truly great quotes in history CNN reported the following information.

“Anderson wrote the letter with the help of People for the Ethical Treatment of animals.” 

That is just too easy. You insert your own joke here. In a statement that some literate people helped her write Anderson said, “The bust of Colonel Sanders stands as a monument to cruelty and has no place in the Kentucky state capitol.”  I always thought it stood for freedom of choice…regular or extra crispy. But that is why forward thinking people like Mr. KentuckyFriedcCruelty.com need to step up with bold ways to amuse us with their weirdness. This is from the earlier post about the pathetic publicity grab.

An employee of an organization known for ridiculous publicity stunts decided to legally change his name to KentuckyFriedCruelty.com.

The new name “never fails to spark a discussion,” according to KentuckyFriedCruelty.com. I would imagine that is true. Try to picture the possibilities.

Him: “Hi, my name is KentuckyFriedCruelty.com”

Me: “Nice to meet you. My name is TheBurgerKingDancesFunny.org.”

Him: “Seriously. My name is KentuckyFriedCruelty.com. I changed my name to protest the inhumane treatment of chickens.”

Me: “Later Dude. Much later.”

KentuckyFriedCruelty.com reports at his website (oddly enough of the same name) that his parents “were a little shocked at first” with the name change. They still call him Chris, but “have accepted the change.” They are no doubt looking forward to their grandkids someday. Little KentuckyFried.org will be quite unique around the old day care. KentuckyFriedCruetly.com works for an organization that gets publicity out of stunts like this so it shall remain nameless.

While I am sticking with the nominally vanilla Dave I did realize that I have added a name over the years. I have added the name Christian to my identity. And I must admit that I did not always contemplate how serious that responsibility was when I added that name to mine. As I mentioned in prior blogs about the Victoria Osteen event, having the title Christian by your name raises the bar on your life. Oh, it does not guarantee perfection. I don’t get in the same zip code with perfection. But calling yourself a Christian does mean you have given up some rights in order to demonstrate Jesus in your life. The classic quote of Saint Francis of Assissi should be the daily mediation of all who call themselves followers of Christ.

“Preach the Gospel at all times and when necessary use words.”

I have been outed. Some readers of my books and these daily ramblings have somehow discovered that I am, deep breath, a conservative Evangelical Christian. A blog called Disaster Area reviewed When Bad Christians Happen to Good People. A couple of things he said cracked me up. First of all, he says the book is by “a guy called Dave Burchett.” That also happens to be my name so that may well be the reason I am called Dave Burchett. Secondly, he oddly states that I am “apparently an Emmy winner in sports broadcasting.” Apparently? But the biggest revelation against a guy called Dave Burchett who has apparenlty written this book is this breaking news. (emphasis is his) “However, it becomes clear about halfway through the book that by Christians he means North American Fundamentalist Evangelical Christians.” I guess they are on to me. Feedback to my post about  Richard Dawkins noted the following with this quote which I have reproduced exactly as it appeared. “The article also trys to make Dawkins look bad (I’d guess because the author is religious motivated).”  Busted!  I should have known they would figure out that a website called “Confessions of a Bad Christian” is, in fact, a Christian site. How did I think I would get away with this?

When I became aware that word of my Evangelical Christianity was out I went to the secret underground bunker where we all meet to plan how to advance our agenda.
“I have been Valerie Plumed!” I told the group.
“They know?”, they asked.
“I’m afraid so. Should I come clean?”
They looked horrified. “You mean tell them your agenda?”
“Yes,” I said boldly. “I am going to lay out my entire agenda so there will be no doubt.”

So here it is. I certainly don’t speak for all Evangelical Christians but I think I just might represent a number of them. So here is what I believe and my entire agenda.

I believe that there is one God, eternally existent in three persons: Father, Son and Holy Spirit. I believe the Bible is the inspired and authoritative Word of God. I believe in the deity of Jesus Christ, in His virgin birth, His sinless life, and miracles.  I believe in His atoning death, in His bodily resurrection, in His ascension to the right hand of the Father, and in His personal return in power and glory. I believe in the present ministry of the Holy Spirit by whose indwelling the Christian is enabled to live a godly life.

Let me tell you what this particular evangelical Christian does not believe…

I do not believe you have to be a Republican to be a Christian despited accusations to the contrary by some of my critics. Like it or not, heaven will be bipartisan and I am totally fine that there will not be sides of the golden aisles.
I do not believe that God is “judging” America for any particular sin. But if He is judging this country I would suspect it is for the massive squandering of wealth and resources that we have been blessed with while giving back an average of less than three percent.
I do not believe in ranking sins for their offensiveness to a Holy God. Some things are more offensive to us but all sin is equally intolerable to a Holy God.
I do not believe that censorship, boycotts, or politics will redeem this culture…only a spiritual renewal can accomplish such redemption.
I do not believe that it is my place to relish or desire eternal punishment for others. I am willing to leave that to a righteous and just God who sees the real heart and motives for each one of us and Who will judge justly.

And finally, here is my complete agenda.

To try and see everyone through the eyes of Jesus because my eyes are prejudiced and prideful.
To try and love them like Jesus because my love is selfish.
To let them others know that my relationship with Jesus has changed my life, given my life purpose, given me strength to endure tragedy, and real hope for the future.
To authentically relate how this personal relationship with the living God saved my marriage and made me a better father to my sons.
To be gentle in relating the good news of the gospel of Jesus Christ to people in every situation and mired in any sin. My goal is to introduce them to Jesus and let them work out their salvation in fear and trembling.
To exhibit grace and forgiveness to those who attack me for not sharing their views.
To be an example of the living Christ to everyone I come in contact so that I can be salt and light to my little circle of influence.
To be a advocate for those wounded by the church and other Christians. Our lack of unity must grieve the Lord who prayed for unity of the body during His final agonizining hours before His betrayal, mock trial, and crucifixion.
To try to never be surprised or repulsed by the actions of those who do not have a relationship with Jesus. The Lord Himself was always gentle with sinners and always tough on religious hypocrites. We have reversed his example far too often. We are too tough on sinners and too gentle with the hypocrites.
To try and give generously of my time and treasure to those who have not been as materially blessed in my neighborhood, my country, and around the world.
To let people know that I love Jesus and I am not at all ashamed of that fact.

In short, I am praying to be a “troublesome” Christian. It is easy to dismiss the hypocrite. No problem to ignore the angry and judgmental religious types. But I was troubled when I saw some Christians who displayed something different in their lives. I could not dismiss so readily the joy, peace, strength, courage, and love they modeled. They were “troublesome” Christians to me.  I could not ignore them because their lives were authentic and different (different good, not weird). I want to be that kind of Christian. That is my agenda. Sorry if I have disappointed you conspiracy types. But I have come completely clean with you. My entire agenda is to be a “troublesome” Christian because Jesus is transforming my life every day. There…I feel better. I am glad you finally know the truth.

One of the things that really struck me from the movie “End of the Spear” was that in the Waodani language, there is no word for forgiveness. The concept was so foreign to that culture that no word had ever been coined. In our Christian culture we have the word but we too often lack the ability to apply it. One of the joys of writing these daily ramblings is hearing from readers who are blessed or challenged by something I have written. Occasionally someone takes time out of their busy schedule to tell me I am an idiot. Isn’t it a waste of time to tell an idiot that he is an idiot? How can an idiot comprehend that? But I digress. The communications that are really hard for me are the ones from people who have been wounded by other people in the church or by church leaders. Those break my heart and such messages arrive far too often. Today was such a day.

I wrote a blog this week called  “Boomers get ready…how soon will we be going home?”. The article was based on a mortality calculator developed for baby boomers. You could add up your variables and predict your chances of living for the next four years. But my argument was that no matter how much time we have we should live with a sense of urgency.  Here are a couple of paragraphs from that post.

So how then should we live? Like Paul and Peter and John and the rest of the early followers of Christ. With an air of expectancy that tomorrow (or the rest of today) is not guaranteed. To live with a sense of priority and passion about what really matters. Do you have someone that you want to tell that you love them? Tell them now. Is there a relationship that needs repairing? Repair it now. Someone that you know you have to forgive? Please forgive them now by faith and the enabling power of the Holy Spirit. Still angry with a parent or sibling? Deal with it now. Have you slipped away from God for some reason? Come back now.

What if I told you that you have exactly one week to live? Write down what you would do and what you would say in those precious seven days. And then start doing those things now. Because no matter how stunning your score might be on the Grim Reaper Index it is no guarantee of anything past this moment. I know that not every recipient of such communications are receptive or even civil. But at the end of the day we are accountable before a Holy God only for our actions. They are accountable for theirs. Do the right thing and trust the rest to Jesus.  

Today I found this response to that post.

I agree that as a follower of Christ we should not be concerned about how many days we have left, we should live each day as though it is our last. My issues to deal with are related to pain inflicted by Christian leaders on trusting and innocent people. How can anyone forgive these people who take advantage of the very ones who they are entrusted to lead, teach, and help? HOW is it possible to forgive a pastor who has deliberately lied, stolen, and strung along an innocent person? Does God really expect us to forgive such people- exploiters who manipulate the word of God in order to trick a trusting person into submission – a pastor who uses a hurting person’s unfounded guilt to his own advantage? And when does accountability come into the equation? And do we have to forgive others when we are not even ASKED for forgiveness?

Dave, is a Christian required to forgive those who have willfully lied, used and abused them with premeditation when no apology was ever offered? If I die today will I go to Hell because I cannot forgive a pastor who caused me and my loved ones excruciating pain and suffering for years? What then is the difference between a Christian and a doormat?

Wow. Anyone out there want to field this one? The message was signed “doormat”. The pain and anger in that message are heartbreaking. There is no way I can address all of the issues raised here in this space. But I did want to offer a few things and hope that this reader finds some comfort. I think that we have generally done a poor job of teaching forgiveness. Here are a few misconceptions that I personally had about forgiveness.  This is from a chapter on forgiveness I wrote about in “Bring’em Back Alive – A Healing Plan for those Wounded by the Church”.

• 
  
  Forgiveness is not condoning or diminishing the offense. Forgiving a person who has wronged you does not mean they are “off the hook” for any consequences or judgment that may result from their actions. Forgiveness is a personal act of your will that releases the other person from your condemnation. At that point you have been obedient to what Jesus asks of you…the other person is responsible to God for their response. By extending forgiveness you are not saying the offense was insignificant or unimportant. You are saying that you trust God to see that justice is dispensed according to His Holy judgment and timing.
  
  
• 
  
  Forgiveness is not forgetting. The old forgive and forget admonition was one of the biggest barriers I faced in my journey to learn how to forgive. You know the old mental challenge to not picture an elephant in the room. You can’t do it. Instantly the image pops into your mind. The more I tried to be spiritually mature and try to forgive and forget the more my offender became the “elephant in the room.” That person or event was all I could think of. Over time you will think less and less of the hurt and/or the one who administered same. C.S. Lewis wrote to a friend late in his life. “Dear Mary…Do you know, only a few weeks ago, I realized suddenly that I had at last forgiven the cruel schoolmaster who so darkened my childhood. I had been trying to do it for years.” To try to achieve a state of instantaneous forgetfulness is setting yourself up for failure and frustration.
  
  
• 
  
  Forgiveness does not require reconciliation. Certainly it is a worthy goal to have the gift of forgiveness lead to a restoration of a damaged relationship. But it takes two people to reconcile and you have no control over anyone’s response except your own. The other person may not respond graciously. They may not be ready to accept forgiveness or acknowledge their part or even desire to be reconciled. Again, we have done what is required of us by extending the grace of forgiveness. Reconciliation is not required  to be obedient to the command of Jesus.
  
  
• 
  
  Forgiveness is an act of the will and is not a response to feelings. We must choose to forgive and trust the Jesus who forgave us to eventually change our feelings. We may not “feel” like forgiveness has transpired. If you decide to wait until you “feel” like forgiving or that the other person must make the first move you will remain spiritually stuck. We have to make the choice and then wait for God to honor the choice.  We make a choice to forgive and then we have faith that the Holy Spirit will reshape our feelings over the course of time. Forgiveness requires choice and faith, just like every miracle that comes from God. 
  
  
• 
  
  Forgiveness is not ignoring or excusing the offense. There is nothing to forgive if we have not been wronged. Jesus is not asking us to ignore reality. He is asking us to acknowledge how much we have been forgiven and to extend the same courtesy to others. Forgiveness is acknowledging the offense without cover-up or excuse and still choosing to forgive.
  
  
• 
  
  Forgiveness is not denial of the hurt. Pride will often cause us to “not allow the person who hurt us the satisfaction” of knowing we are wounded. That is absurd. Acknowledge the reality of the injury but make the choice and decision of your will to be healed. 
  
  
• 
  
  Forgiveness is eliminating revenge as an option. Lewis Smedes makes a brilliant point about revenge. No matter how much we try “we cannot get even; this is the inner fatality of revenge.” When you start trying to get even you have lost. How many times must I gossip about you to get “even” for the hurt you caused me? When is the scale even? Or do I need to have the scale tip a bit toward me to be satisfied? What a self-defeating pursuit that becomes! And the truth proclaimed by Josh Billings is “there is no revenge so complete as forgiveness.”
  
  
• 
  
  Forgiveness means understanding that hurt is part of the faith tour contract that we signed when we decided to follow Jesus. Author David Stoop notes that, “People choose the Path of Bitterness when they get caught up in trying to understand the reasons for the offense. They think, if only they could understand why the other person did what he or she did, they could get over it
  and let it go.”  I have three words for that approach….does not work.

 The late author Lewis Smedes wrote powerfully about forgiveness. He often spoke of how only forgiveness can “release us from the grip of our history.” We cannot change an abusive upbringing. We cannot alter dysfunctional theological training that denied grace. We cannot simply deny the hurts that have been visited upon us and be spiritually free. Only forgiveness can release us from the grip of these real and historical events.

So I would say this to my wounded brother who wrote the message to me. Yes, I believe you do need to forgive that pastor. But the reason you need to forgive is that Jesus knew that is the only way for you to be fully healed. You have a Savior who understands the pain of betrayal. So I am going to ask you to be selfish and forgive. Say what? I have heard bitterness described as drinking rat poison and hoping the other person dies. The comparison works for me. It is vital to your spiritual well being to forgive this person. When you follow the directive of Jesus and forgive you are free to concentrate on the blessings in your life. Is this easy? Of course not. I believe that forgiveness is the single hardest thing that Jesus asks us to do. But He knows how important forgiveness is for own growth. Will you go to Hell if you die today without forgiving this person? I don’t believe that for a moment. The redemptive act of Jesus on the cross literally has you (and sins past, present, and future) covered. But why would you want to live in anger and distress when Jesus has something better for you? The Apostle Paul’s wrote these words in Colossians.

Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. Col 3  NIV

You and I have been forgiven of much. Thomas Fuller observed that “He that cannot forgive others breaks the bridge over which he must pass himself; for every man has to be forgiven.”  A
Christian who is not forgiving is a Christian who is not growing. I am going to pray for you to make the choice to forgive. God will do the rest.

May I add that no one who has the courage and maturity to make that choice will ever be called a doormat in my book.

Any article entitled “Evangelicals Miss the Big Picture” will get my attention. So I delved into the piece in USA Today with great interest. The writer is William Romanowski, a film studies professor at Calvin College in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Romanowski surmised that “evangelicals can influence Hollywood, but their efforts would be more effective and better received if they focused on cultural discourse, not religious conversion.” Hmmm. Discuss. 

Here are some excerpts from Professor Romanowski’s essay. My commentary is italicized.

The Passion’s numbers were an eye-opener for Hollywood. Now, movies with clear religious themes such as Constantine, The Exorcism of Emily Rose and The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, and even those without any sort of explicit Christian connection, such as Cinderella Man or The Greatest Game Ever Played, are being pitched by studios to reach the “Christian” market. More specifically, the target is those evangelicals who embraced The Passion with such enthusiasm. Consumers are spending hundreds of millions of dollars on religious books and Christian-themed music. The film industry wants to cultivate this market. The problem Hollywood faces as it seeks to maximize this potential audience is that “evangelical” Christians are not easy to define.

I feel your pain. The term Evangelical broadly categorizes Christians with vastly different philosophies but, in theory at least, the same distinct theology. It is our inability to unify over the core beliefs that confuses our message.

A recent MarketCast study co-sponsored by Variety magazine found religious and non-religious people “nearly indistinguishable in their attitudes” about moviegoing, according to a Variety article reporting the results. In fact, these religious folks seem to have a penchant for the sentimental, the melodramatic and the violent (of course that puts them pretty much in the mainstream of American taste in entertainment).

Anyone who has criticized George Barna’s research should send him an apology today. This is what Mr.Barna has been preaching for years. Our faith is making little difference in our day to day existence so our message falls on disinterested ears. Jesus should make a difference. When we show that others will listen.

People of goodwill ought to be concerned with the cumulative impact of a steady diet of American movies that often exalt self-interest as the supreme human value, glorify violent resolutions to problems, make finding the perfect mate one’s primary vocation and highest destiny, and offer material prosperity as the most reliable source of meaning and satisfaction in this life. Such a value system arguably runs against the grain of most religious traditions.

Amen. And I believe that you can boldly go further than arguably goes against the grain. Such values go completely against the grain of the teachings of Jesus. Try sampling the Sermon on the Mount as a little example of how far those values stray from His.

Of course, filmmakers claim they’re only giving people what they want.

Ouch. It hurts because it is true.

Were more evangelicals to think about movies in terms of their faith beliefs, they would actually have an opportunity to not only buy tickets, but also to begin to shape the entertainment industry.

Exactly. If we would support movies like End of the Spear instead of arguing about casting it would make a difference. Hollywood may be perceived as being godless in the evangelical sense but the studios and theaters worship the bottom line. If a movie like “End of the Spear” does well we (the Christian marketplace) will get more movies like that. And maybe the next one will pass our casting critiques. On some days I am sorely tempted to get the “Lord save me from your followers” bumper sticker.

For instance, the Judeo-Christian tradition maintains that all people have dignity and worth because they are created in the image of God, but that they also have a tendency to do evil. Redemption comes from experiences that make people aware of their own brokenness and insufficiency. Films such as Magnolia or The Apostle resonate with this kind of perspective. The characters have a moral ambiguity that fits with real life and makes for good drama — and interesting movies. Both are intended for adults. The best motion pictures transform the real world into an imaginary one with ideals, values, attitudes and assumptions woven into characterizations and storylines.

Professor Romanowski’s  piece takes a philosophical bent that I heartily endorse.

Evangelicals can influence Hollywood when they think of the cinema as an arena for cultural discourse but not a place for converting members of that culture to a specific Christian orientation. In other words, evangelicals’ goal for the movie industry should be to encourage discourse, not merely evangelizing.

Yes. Yes. Yes. We must be creative to engage the culture. That was my argument with the Book of Daniel. What a great way to discuss what your faith looks like versus that “Cops” like family on the show. But instead we boycott. Here is a plan for you. When the culture opens a door to faith discussions…go through it. How complicated is that?

Last year’s Oscar winner Million Dollar Baby sparked debate about euthanasia. This year, Crash deals with racism; Good Night, and Good Luck probes the role of the news media in keeping politicians accountable to the people; Syriana touches on geopolitics and oil; A History of Violence explores the potential presence of violence in all of us; Munich the perpetuation of bloodshed. Religious audiences can engage these films by reflecting on the perspective they represent, yet applying their own religious context. But old habits die hard.

Boy do they. I totally agree with Romanowski’s concept. A discussion on euthanasia and the Scriptural value of the sanctity of life is natural after seeing “Million Dollar Baby.” I am not sure I would seek to place geopolitics and oil into my spiritual basket but most of his examples are intriguing.

Representatives of evangelical groups said they resisted boycotting “Brokeback Mountain” only because they did not want to draw attention to the critically acclaimed film about gay love. And evangelicals are divided over “End of the Spear”, an evangelical production based on a real-life missionary story. Some leaders are encouraging people to see this film about forgiveness, while others are campaigning against it because it stars an openly gay actor.

And that is the enigma of us. What is the classic line from the cartoon Pogo? “We have met the enemy…and it is us.” Evangelicals don’t want to call attention to one movie but they hurt another good and valuable movie (End of the Spear) and in the process call even more attention to the issue in a way that further alienates the church from gay men and women seeking truth.

So what do evangelicals want from Hollywood anyway? Help converting the masses? If so, movies don’t seem as if they’re the most effective forum. Despite all the evangelistic hype for The Passion, a survey by The Barna Group showed that less than one-tenth of 1% of those who saw the movie accepted Jesus Christ as their savior as a result of seeing the film. Likewise, don’t expect a jump in the size of the gay population because of Brokeback Mountain, however much it might foster the national conversation. Only when evangelicals agree to look at Hollywood not just as an evangelistic tool, or a harmless entertainment provider, but also as an important participant in cultural discourse will they understand that as a major share of the movie market, they are in a position to shape that vital discussion.

Hollywood, like it or not, reflects where culture is heading. So climb out of the comfort bunker and get in the battle. Engage the culture by looking for the spiritual aspect of movies and then discussing. Evangelism is a process. In baseball parlance I was taught in my early Christian experience that we must be closers. But the truth is that sometimes we are starters (planting a seed of interest). Sometimes we are middle relievers (watering that growing interest) and sometimes we are closers. Every part of the process is sacred and wisely using the opportunities presented by movies and culture makes sense.  Kudos to William Romanowski at Calvin College. A voice of reason in the cultural desert is like a cool refreshing drink. Paul had a good challenge to the Church at Corinth to put a wrap on this discussion.

I have voluntarily become a servant to any and all in order to reach a wide range of people: religious, nonreligious, meticulous moralists, loose-living immoralists, the defeated, the demoralized–whoever. I didn’t take on their way of life. I kept my bearings in Christ–but I entered their world and tried to experience things from their point of view. I’ve become just about every sort of servant there is in my attempts to lead those I meet into a God-saved life. I did all this because of the Message. I didn’t just want to talk about it; I wanted to be in on it!  I Cor 9,  The Message

Let’s jump in the arena and be in on it. It might even be fun!

A simple new test is designed to calculate the odds for me being alive in four years. That’s right. I can tally my score for the twelve predictive categories and decide if that five year bond is really a good idea. So I took the test and the results are in.

According to this measuring stick it looks like I will accomplish my goal of living long enough to be a problem for my children. The mortality calculator (that sounds dark) was developed by researchers at the San Francisco Veterans Affairs Medical Center. The researchers developed the scale after studying 12,000 patients and then applying those findings to 8,000 more to chart the reliability of their GRI (Grim Reaper Index – that is my acronym, not theirs). This is a test where you hope for a very low score. A zero to five score for an over fifty respondent will give you a 96% chance of seeing 2010. I scored a sparkling 2 on my GRI! I was penalized two points just for being male and I cannot figure out how to circumvent that risk. Those who tallied 14 or more points have a 64 percent chance of dying in the next four years. If you want to know your potential fate you can take the test and calculate your GRI score. So what does this mean to me as average bad Christian guy?

Not much. Whether I have forty years or four years or four months really should not affect how I live as a follower of Christ. I have been knee deep in the mortality of my fellow human beings recently. My dear friend Trisha died in early January. A television associate died unexpectedly this month. Both were my age or younger. So even if I am in the ninety-six percentile there are statistically still four of us in that sampling of one hundred that will be dead by 2010. “Couldn’t be me,” says my bulletproof brain. “Sure it could,” replies the teeny common sense cortex buried deep below the machobellum section of my brain.

So how then should we live? Like Paul and Peter and John and the rest of the early followers of Christ. With an air of expectancy that tomorrow (or the rest of today) is not guaranteed. To live with a sense of priority and passion about what really matters. Do you have someone that you want to tell that you love them? Tell them now. Is there a relationship that needs repairing? Repair it now. Someone that you know you have to forgive? Please forgive them now by faith and the enabling power of the Holy Spirit. Still angry with a parent or sibling? Deal with it now. Have you slipped away from God for some reason? Come back now.

What if I told you that you have exactly one week to live? Write down what you would do and what you would say in those precious seven days. And then start doing those things now. Because no matter how stunning your score might be on the Grim Reaper Index it is no guarantee of anything past this moment. I know that not every recipient of such communications are receptive or even civil. But at the end of the day we are accountable before a Holy God only for our actions. They are accountable for theirs. Do the right thing and trust the rest to Jesus.  Boomers get ready. In the time frame of eternity all of us will be going home very soon.

Part of the great comfort I felt when my Father died two years ago was knowing that everything that I wanted to say to him had been said. I believe that if something happened to me before I get to write another word that my sons would have that same peace. They know they are loved by me and I am loved by them. They know how proud I am of them as men and as followers of Jesus.

I hope you score well in your GRI. I wish you health and blessings. But my fervent prayer is that you will test better in your readiness to peacefully leave this planet. I pray you will have the courage to say what you want to say and need to say. Make peace with those you feel a lack of peace with in your soul. What a wonderful way to prepare to meet your Savior face to face. Paul’s words to the church at Colosse offer a few thoughts on getting ready.

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.   Colossians 3  NIV

I suppose that most writers perceive themselves as wordsmiths. But most of us merely arrange previously coined words. What a thrill it must be to actually create a word and see it become a part of the lexicon. The Seinfeld television show was known for inventing new words and phrases that are now in common usage. I was reminded of that this week when I read a survey about the phenomenon of regifting. Regift is a verb and means “to give an unwanted gift to someone else; to give as a gift something one previously received as a gift.” (dictionary.com) That term, as well as the noun regifter, were first used in a Seinfeld episode from 1995 called The Label Maker. Seinfeldians will recall this dialogue…

George: The wedding is off.  Now you can go to the Super Bowl.
Jerry: I can’t call Tim Whatley and ask for the tickets back.
George: You just gave them to him two days ago, he’s gotta give you a grace period.
Jerry: Are you even vaguely familiar with the concept of giving? There’s no grace period.
George: Well, didn’t he regift the label maker?
Jerry: Possibly.
George: Well, if he can regift, why can’t you degift?
Jerry: You may have a point.
George: I have a point, I have a point.

Trust me,  before this is over I hope to have a point, I hope to have a point. Knight-Ridder Newspapers reported that nearly 60 percent of us receive unwanted gifts over the Christmas season and half of us admit to regifting. That is the percentage that will admit to the practice. The study was commissioned by eBay and they found that more women than men admit to regifting (59 percent vs 45 percent). A number of questions arise. Are women just more honest? Are men too thoughtless to even regift? Is it because the average bad man gift (i.e. Billy the Singing Bass) is just too tacky to even regift? According to the survey the top regifting items were knickknacks and pampering products so that might explain the lower masculine percentile. I wouldn’t admit that I regifted pampering products even under duress.

But for Christians the concept of regifting is noble and even encouraged because the gifts we have received are not unwanted. For example, we have received the gift of hope in Jesus. Hope makes a lovely gift to share with a world that is very short of that commodity.

I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. Ephesian 1  NIV

How about regifting those who feel quilty and downcast with the concept of the grace that you have received as a free gift? Twenty times Paul refers to grace in his letter to the Roman Church. Grace is such a liberating gift for a wounded world. We don’t have to live as a slave to sin anymore.

For sin shall not be your master, because you are not under law, but under grace.  Roman 5 NIV

This amazing and unmerited gift of grace is a message that we have not done a very good job of telling…or of gifting to one another.

All that passing laws against sin did was produce more lawbreakers. But sin didn’t, and doesn’t, have a chance in competition with the aggressive forgiveness we call grace. When it’s sin versus grace, grace wins hands down.  All sin can do is threaten us with death, and that’s the end of it. Grace, because God is putting everything together again through the Messiah, invites us into life–a life that goes on and on and on, world without end.    Romans 5 The Message

Aggressive forgiveness. I love that phrase! That is what grace is all about. Philip Yancey gave me the knowledge of this gift through his wonderful book What’s Amazing about Grace?. I was raised in a church where we wouldn’t have recognized grace if it bit us on our hindquarters. So this has been a life changing gift for me. I want to regift everyone I know with this message.

for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.   Romans 3  NIV

Package up a little hope and grace and feel free to regift others. Who needs more pampering products when you can share gifts like these?