Category: Uncategorized

Each year Time Magazine honors its Man or Woman of the Year. The magazine states that the criteria for selection are “the person or persons who most affected the news and our lives, for good or for ill, and embodied what was important about the year, for better or for worse.” This year’s selections were Bill and Melinda Gates of Microsoft fame and wealth along with rock star Bono. They were honored for their financial and political contributions to world poverty. I don’t have an issue with Time’s selections. I admire Bill and Melinda for giving significantly and Bono for his passionate campaign.

But if Time magazine came to me and asked for my Man and Woman of the year it would be much different. I would nominate four people that you likely have never heard about. These are the people that affected my life for better because of their unquenchable faith. I would first nominate Bob and Susan. Susan was diagnosed with cancer over a year ago. The chemotherapy caused a reaction that damaged Susan’s neurological responses. Her balance, coordination, and speech were all profoundly affected. Yet everytime we visit she ends up encouraging me with her smile, spirit, and strength. Bob has cared for Susan with a dedication and love that embarrasses me. Bob went for months sleeping only minutes at a time and yet he served and loved his wife without complaint. He had pledged to love her through better or worse and, unlike so many of us, he stuck to the pledge. I had always wondered exactly what Paul meant in Ephesians when he wrote that husbands are to love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. I left Bob and Susan’s house after one memorable visit with that Scripture verse reverberating through my thick noggin. I had just seen the working model of how a husband can love his wife like Christ loved the church. Recently Susan personally dictated a Christmas letter that put the whole thing in perspective for me. For this family who has been through so much to be grateful for God’s blessings is an amazing demonstration of faith that is real. Faith that works even when the sky is dark.

My other nomination for Man and Woman of the Year would be Mike and Trisha. I am writing this one day after Trisha lost the battle with her earthly body. I would nominate Mike and Trisha because they demonstrated in the laboratory of life what it looks like to stare adversity in the face and not blink. When Trisha received the diagnosis of cancer just a few weeks ago she went through the normal reactions. But it did not take long for her special relationship with the Lord to surface. I have watched Mike and Trisha face the unthinkable and trust God in their darkest hour. NBA star Alonzo Mourning once noted that “adversity introduces a man to himself.” Adversity introduced Mike and Trisha not only to themselves but to a test of the very faith that they held dear. They never wavered.

I can talk about apologetics. I can argue the validity of the ancient records. I can present the evidence for Jesus in historical documents. But nothing demonstrates the amazing grace and presence of a living God more than watching how men and women who love the Lord deal with such adversity. On New Year’s Day I looked into the eyes of a husband who knew his wife might be dying and I saw the supernatural presence of Christ. In just a few short weeks he had been transformed from distress to a complete and inexplicable peace. I still love the King James rendering of that phenomenon in the fourth chapter of Philippians.

And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

I saw in Mike a peace that I don’t believe is possible apart from the presence of God. And this clearly was not denial because both Mike and Trish knew exactly what the path before them held. For my friend Trisha yesterday was the day that she got to quote the words from 2 Timothy as her body failed…

I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me…

There are many stories of people who live a life that truly reflects the power of God living within them. You just don’t hear about them often enough. Pray for Bob and Susan as they trust God in every moment. And pray for Mike as he begins to deal with life without the daily presence of his beloved bride. And don’t forget to rejoice for Trisha because yesterday she got to hear these words from the Lord Jesus…

‘Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!’

In my mind the real men and women of the year are people like Bob and Susan and Mike and Trisha. They don’t make the news and they won’t be on the cover of Time. But in the midst of disappointing actions by too many Christians they are a beacon that shows that my faith is not only real…it works at the most difficult times. How can you endure such a trial? Paul begged for a trial to be taken away and received this response.

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”

It cannot be explained how the Holy Spirit comforts and sustains you in those trials. Joni and I have experienced it through the death of our daughter. I have recently seen it in the lives of my friends. I am grateful that I have had the privilege of sharing my life with these special followers of Christ. I hope that I will pass the future tests and trials of life like the example they have set for me.

And the amazing thing about a risen Christ is that I can say the following statement with confidence….

“I will see you later, my dear friend Trisha.”   

 

I used to be terrified by Dracula when I was a kid. Bela Lugosi played the Transylvania terror and I did not sleep well for many nights after seeing that movie. The standard defense methods against a vampire were generally not available to an eight year old kid. I did not have any silver bullets, did not possess a crucifix, was too chicken to think about the wooden stake, and could not figure out an excuse to put garlic on the shopping list. So I hunkered down under the covers, stayed close to beloved mutt Penny, and began my first foray into earnest prayer. God does work in mysterious ways.

So it brought back a lot of memories when I picked up an article in yesterday’s “Dallas Morning News” headlined Give the slip to ‘energy vampires’. The premise of the piece written by Patrick Pemberton is that certain people possess bad vibes, passive-aggressive tactics or outright meanness that simply wipes you out. The concept comes from a book written by psychiatrist Judith Orloff entitled “Positive Energy: 10 Extraordinary Prescriptions for Transforming Fatigue, Stress & Fear into Vibrance, Strength and Love” I certain relate to the 9 classifications of energy vampires that she outlines. Her ideas to combat them were a bit different from my strategy. Let’s look at a few of them with Orloff’s strategy and the approach of your humble bad Christian following in italics.

THE BLAMER

This guy has a sneaky way of making you feel guilty for not getting things right. He’ll dole out endless guilt, resort to verbal abuse, and levy accusations, leaving no room for discussion.

Solution: Imagine yourself enveloped in a cocoon of white light, then picture the cocoon as a shield forming a fail-safe barrier around you. This is a barrier zone where negative vibes can’t disable you.

Reaction…. Uhhhhh. Okay. My cocoon proved to be way too porous (shouldn’t have used the lowest bidder) and negative vibes pummelled me. So I went back to my original plan. I don’t mean to get all spiritual but this is actually where I am in my journey with Jesus. I have finally realized that I have a new identity in Christ (see yesterday’s post for my name change). When confronted with verbal accusations, guilt, and even verbal abuse I am learning (still got a long way to go) to remember that I am attempting to live in a way that demonstrates the supernatural presence of God investing in my life. To respond gently in such a circumstance is supernatural. I am not talking about being a wimp. A strong but gentle response communicated with grace is my goal. Jesus laid down the uncomfortable truth in the gospel of Matthew.

“If all you do is love the lovable, do you expect a bonus? Anybody can do that. If you simply say hello to those who greet you, do you expect a medal? Any run-of-the-mill sinner does that. In a word, what I’m saying is, Grow up. You’re kingdom subjects. Now live like it. Live out your God-created identity. Live generously and graciously toward others, the way God lives toward you.”  Matthew 5 The Message

THE SO-CALLED FRIEND

Driven by envy or insecurity, she puts you down for seemingly no reason, deflating your energy.

Solution: Break eye contact and visualize yourself power-sucking back every drop of energy she’s taken from you. Exhale and envision negative energy as dark gunk leaving your body through your lower spine as you picture fresh air and sunlight coming in. Consider a bath or shower and drink lots of water to reinforce this feeling of cleansing.

Wow. That is some toxic friend! Do you have to call the EPA for this strategy? This is an area that is under construction in my life. My Christian journey is much like Interstate 35 from Dallas to Austin. Constant construction, delays, and frustration. But when the construction is finished and the traffic runs smoothly it is such a relief. That is how my experience with Christ has been. I finish construction on one area and enjoy the exhilaration of smooth sailing. Then I realize that the Lord is setting up construction cones again. Doh!

I am learning to confront the so-called friend in love. Again, I turn to the teachings of Jesus. “This is how I want you to conduct yourself in these matters. If you enter your place of worship and, about to make an offering, you suddenly remember a grudge a friend has against you, abandon your offering, leave immediately, go to this friend and make things right. Then and only then, come back and work things out with God.Or say you’re out on the street and an old enemy accosts you. Don’t lose a minute. Make the first move; make things right with him.” 

Easy? Hades no!

But amazingly effective most of the time.

CHAOTIC CROWDS

It can be an unruly crowd, complete with elbowing, smoking strangers, or just a big rowdy group at a mall or sporting event that gives you a general sense of chaos.

Solution: Find a quiet seating area out of the stream of people where you can go to take a breath, close your eyes, then imagine yourself in a tranquil setting.

The stunning Mrs. Burchett and I just found ourselves in such a situation recently at a post-Christmas sale that resembled a European soccer riot. We found the following solution works very well.

Leave.

 

THE FIXER-UPPER

A dependent, she makes you her therapist and calls on you to fix her problems.

Solution: Identify the co-dependency issues and distance yourself with compassion. Offer emotional support, but don’t spew out solutions. If you’re consistent, she won’t expect you to fix her problems in the future.

This is a tough one. But people generally become dependent for a reason. Often the reason goes deeper than a friend can dig out. But offering love and the hope that I possess is one fixer-upper that has worked for me and those I love.

Other categories of energy vampires include the Unintentional Sapper, the Seemingly Nice Guy, the Constant Talker, and the Drama Queen. Most of us can relate to the people described by Ms Orloff. But I must tell you that I find an inherent danger in allowing myself to view people like this. Believe me I am often tempted to go to my cocoon of white light and avoid the neediness of those around me. But the words of Jesus continue to trip up my desires.

“Let me tell you why you are here. You’re here to be salt-seasoning that brings out the God-flavors of this earth. If you lose your saltiness, how will people taste godliness? You’ve lost your usefulness and will end up in the garbage. Here’s another way to put it: You’re here to be light, bringing out the God-colors in the world. God is not a secret to be kept. We’re going public with this, as public as a city on a hill. If I make you light-bearers, you don’t think I’m going to hide you under a bucket, do you? I’m putting you on a light stand. Now that I’ve put you there on a hilltop, on a light stand–shine! Keep open house; be generous with your lives. By opening up to others, you’ll prompt people to open up with God, this generous Father in heaven.”    Matthew 5 The Message

I cannot perceive those who annoy me as my adversaries and still live as a follower of Jesus. So while I enjoy the creative concept of energy vampires I cannot view them that way. But on a bad day garlic is still very effective.

 

 

I have a friend who believes in nominal predestination. He thinks that your name determines a great deal about who you will become. For example, was Yogi Berra more likely to become:

a) a nuclear physicist 

b) a malaprop spouting baseball hero

The answer, of course, is b. If your name is classy, he theorized, you would tend to be more sophisticated. If your name was Bubba you might not be predestined to enjoy an opera libretto. I viewed his theory with interest but a bit of confusion. What nominal predestination awaited a person with a pedestrian name like Dave?

The concept of creative naming had not blossomed when I arrived midway through the Baby Boom. My moniker was the fifth most popular of my birth year. Numbers one through four were Robert, James, Michael, and John. So I imagine that the millions and millions of Bobs, Jims, Mikes, Johns, and Daves would be sympathetic to someone wanting a bit of unique identity in their lives.

I remembered an early punk-rock group during the mid-60’s that had a huge number one hit called “96 Tears.” The group was called ? and the Mysterians and the lead singer was named Rudy Martinez. In 1966 Martinez went to court and had his named changed to ? (not Question Mark) but the actual symbol. So the artist formerly known as Prince was merely copying    ?   when he changed his name to a symbol. I have often wondered what hassles old   ?   goes through now that his hit is long since forgotten. According to websites devoted to the group he still goes by that symbol.  It must be interesting.

“ ?…table for 2 ” or  “ If there is a  ?  on board please ring your flight attendant call button ”

After briefing toying with changing my name to   *   to honor Roger Maris I decided to move past symbols and examine pronouns. A Branson, Missouri, man legally changed his name to the pronoun “They.” A 45 year old guy formerly known as Andrew Wilson says the name change started as a family joke. Like many of us he wondered “Who is this `they’ when people say `They say this’ and `They say that?’”

He even has a driver’s license with the name on it…or so They say. They has no interest in going back to Andrew. So the next time you hear “They say that” you will know it originates in Branson. But the most over the top name change was just in the news. A 19–year-old man has changed his name to KentuckyFriedCruelty.com to support a campaign against the Kentucky Fried Chicken restaurant chain. Formerly named Chris Garnett, the man says the name is official and has a drivers license to prove it. 

The new name “never fails to spark a discussion,” according to KentuckyFriedCruelty.com. I would imagine that is true. Try to picture the possibilities.

Him: (They is staying out of this one) “Hi, my name is KentuckyFriedCruelty.com”

Me: “Nice to meet you. My name is TheBurgerKingDancesFunny.org.”

Him: “Seriously. My name is KentuckyFriedCruelty.com. I changed my name to protest the inhumane treatment of chickens.”

Me: “Later Dude. Much later.”

KentuckyFriedCruelty.com reports at his website (oddly enough of the same name) that his parents “were a little shocked at first” with the name change. They still call him Chris, but “have accepted the change.” They are no doubt looking forward to their grandkids someday. Little KentuckyFried.org will be quite unique around the old day care. KentuckyFriedCruetly.com works for an organization that gets publicity out of stunts like this so it shall remain nameless.

While I am sticking with the nominally vanilla Dave I did realize that I have added a name over the years. I have added the name Christian to my identity. And I must admit that I did not always contemplate how serious that responsibility was when I added that name to mine. As I mentioned in prior blogs about the Victoria Osteen event, having the title Christian by your name raises the bar on your life. Oh, it does not guarantee perfection. I don’t get in the same zip code with perfection. But calling yourself a Christian does mean you have given up some rights in order to demonstrate Jesus in your life. The classic quote of Saint Francis of Assissi should be the daily mediation of all who call themselves followers of Christ.

“Preach the Gospel at all times and when necessary use words.”

That is the emphasis for 2006 for the Christian still boringly known as Dave. Actions do indeed speak louder than words. At least that is what “They” say. 

The blogosphere is alive, not with the sound of music, but with opinions on Victoria Osteen’s recent incident while flying with the family to Colorado. I am assuming that unless you just returned from a filming of “Survivor”you have most likely heard the story (if not refer to the Dec.21st or 26th posts). Reader Jackie posted on this site the following comments (note – all italicized comments are from blog sites).

I found Ms Osteen “apology” to be more of a “spin” than an apology. I don’t care when she flies, where she flies to or what her title is. I do find that rudeness and poor behavior is unacceptable from anyone .What bothers me most is that she can issue a statement saying this was a “minor” event. A plane being held for 2 hours and the passengers leaving the plane ( whether they ask to leave or are asked to leave) is not a “minor” event. I do not think the public is stupid. Does Ms Osteen?

That seemed to be the most common response. The inconvenience to a plane full of passengers is inexcusable whether you are a celebrity or not. For frequent fliers the explanation seemed a bit illogical.

 Her side of the story is that she left the plane on her own accord. Hard to believe. In fact, impossible to believe.

…the woman caused enough problems on an airplane that she was deemed unsafe to fly. Rather than admit her mistakes and apologize, she’s argues with the FBI’s version of the story? What about accountability?

I regularly upgrade to first class because I have flown so many miles. After logging six million miles I have never witnessed one incident that caused the plane to be pulled back in and a passenger removed. I also found it hard to comprehend how a minor incident could generate these actions. Airlines are not in the habit of returning airplanes to the gate. The schedules are then fouled up, passengers are angry, connections missed, and flight crew hours are wasted. But the cold logical evaluation of the issue is being debated alongside a spiritual one. Do we have any right to criticize Mrs. Osteen? One blogger shouted his dire warning with his ALL CAP headlines. I have copied the blog exactly as it appeared on the site.

1) YOU ARE NO ONE TO JUDGE ANYONE! Who are you to judge for someone for what they have done? Better yet we al have done something in our lives that was wrong, and do you see the whole US talking about your falts? NO you don’t. The second thing wrong with all this gossip about the Osteen family is

Sorry about the cliff-hanger. I wanted to address number one. This blogger is correct. I am no one to judge anyone. In fact I think there is a pretty clear Biblical mandate that we have to prayerfully consider from the gospel of Matthew.

“Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”

I think we have so broadly applied this teaching that we have ceased to hold ourselves, and others, accountable in how all of us represent Christ. Remember that Jesus was addressing the religious people who talked about godliness but acted entirely differently. I am to evaluate myself by the standards of God’s Word, and yes, the standard should be higher for me because I have publicly identified myself as a follower of Christ. I want others to hold me accountable. In fact, I was confronted a couple of years ago by a person who informed me that my actions did not match my public testimony. I was grateful because I was able to repent and ask forgiveness of that person and others. That is the standard we set for ourselves as Christians. I cannot judge the motives or heart of Mrs. Osteen or anyone else. I can, I believe, honestly and gracefully judge actions that are unbiblical. And now for the conclusion of the earlier cliff-hanger blog…

2) YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT SOMEONE’S IDOL. Someone’s inspiration. Someone’s “oak tree”. Let me go to your place of worship and critize your pastor, or what ever it is. How would you feel? Not very happy, so why do it to other people? Do unto Other as you would have them do unto you. The third problem with all this non-sence is 3) IT IS NONE OF YOUR %$#@ BUSINESS!!! It is none of anybody’s business what the Osteen family does. If Victoria wants to have her seat cleaned because there is something liquid in it, IN FIRST CLASS, then she should have her seat cleaned. I could understand if she was in coach and ask acting like that but when you are in first-class you should get your seat cleaned if asked to, no matter what. Coach is different than First-class, and there is a difference in between how they are treated and “getting a seat cleaned because there is something liquid in it” shouldn’t be a problem for either coach of First-class. It is called First -Class for a reason. But my question to you all naviie, inarticulate, pucillanimous people, WHAT CONCERN IS IT TO YOU?

What a gold mine this is! Let’s go point by point. Joel Osteen should not be anyone’s idol. Nor should I nor anyone else I know. I can respect and admire people but I realize that they are simply people. Most of us know that. My point in the first blog was that if Mrs.Osteen humbly sought forgiveness the incident would go away. The respect for her and Mr.Osteen would only grow had such a humble response been forthcoming.

Do unto others as you would have them do unto me? I would hope that I would never put my self interest above a plane full of other people. That seems like a fair application of the Golden Rule.

In his blog…uhh…letter to the Colossians Paul wrote to “let your speech always be with grace, as though seasoned with salt, so that you will know how you should respond to each person.”  Following that would have likely diffused the entire situation.

As for the first class issue let me point out that first class is simply a more comfortable seating area. The flight attendants are there to make sure the plane is safe for take off, the baggage is secured, the doors are properly closed, the passengers seat belted and the safety instructions communicated. The people in first class have no more privilege than anyone else when the crew is doing their primary function. I am far more concerned about safety checks than anyone having a damp tush.

The concern to me is that any incident like this gives ammo to the critics and doubt to the seekers. Any time the name of Christ is tarnished it is a concern to me, and yes, I hold myself to that standard. If I do anything that discredits my Lord Jesus Christ I want you to challenge me (I would prefer gracefully) and I will seek to repent and repair the damage.

Some indicated the comments were from jealous and envious people who love to bring down successful celebrities. We will do another blog on celebrity Christianity but let me give you one example of a pastor’s wife who has dealt with fame. As one blogger succinctly argued…

 I don’t recall any incidents with Ruth Graham..

Defense rests, your honor.

Perhaps feeling a bit sorry for Victoria Osteen some bloggers posted the following thoughts…

 …thankfully, God’s grace extends toward us even when we demonstrate  our unworthiness. amazing grace they call it.

 God’s grace is truly amazing. He extends it to all of us when we act up — publicly or privately.

Amen to that. I identify with the t-shirt that says “I am the wretch the song is talking about.” But we do have a responsibility as the body of Christ to hold one another accountable in love.

“Be alert. If you see your friend going wrong, correct him. If he responds, forgive him. Even if it’s personal against you and repeated seven times through the day, and seven times he says, “I’m sorry, I won’t do it again,’ forgive him.”  Luke 17 – The Message

Fortunately, for Mrs. Osteen (who might still be in the learning process) she has the loving Body of Christ to gently help her correct herself when she messes up. Come on folks, leave her alone.

I hope the body of Christ is doing just that. But I believe that a little humility and repentance would have covered a multitude of sins. I don’t want to be left alone. I want to be accountable. Because the last thing I want to do is cause anyone to view Jesus unfavorably. All of us fall short in our lives. But all of us should seek to live humbly, repent, seek forgiveness, and walk kindly. That kind of life will get noticed.

The December 18th Doonesbury comic strip might have been clever but it was deceptive and dishonest in it’s content. The strip begins with a doctor looking at an x-ray image. He is thinking to himself that “he hopes he (the patient) is only a Sunday creationist.” In the next frame the patient finds out he has TB. The doctor is better looking and looks more intelligent than the poor “creationist”. The doctor reassures him that they have caught the disease early.

Patient: “So my prognosis is good?”

Doctor: “Depends. Are you a creationist?”

Patient: “Why yes I am. Why do you ask?”

Doctor: “Because I want to know if you want me treat the TB bug as it was before antibiotics? Or the multiple drug resistant strain it has since evolved into.”

Patient: “Evolved?”

Doctor: “Your choice. If you go with the Noah’s Ark version, I’ll just give you Streptomycin.”

Patient: “Ummm…what are the newer drugs like?”

Doctor: “They’re intelligently designed.”

First of all, I understand the fundamentals of humor. I know that Trudeau was trying to exaggerate to make a humorous point. But my concern is that this is how intellectually bankrupt the average Christian is portrayed in the media. Gary Trudeau is a smart man. I presume he is smart enough to know that his comic strip does not represent the Intelligent Design position. And if he does realize this is not the position of the ID proponents then he is being intellectually dishonest for the sake of a laugh.

Not a single advocate of Intelligent Design that I am aware of discounts the “change over time” that happens within a species or organism. My friend Dr.Ray Bohlin writes this at the Probe website (www.probe.org).

“Much of the reason for evolution’s privileged status has been due to confusion over just what people mean when they use the word evolution. Evolution is a slippery term. If evolution simply means “change over time,” this is non-controversial. Peppered moths, Hawaiian drosophila fruit flies, and even Galapagos finches are clear examples of change over time. If you say that this form of evolution is a fact, well, so be it. But many scientists extrapolate beyond this meaning. Because “change over time” is a fact, the argument goes, it is also a fact that moths, fruit flies, and finches all evolved from a remote common ancestor.”

No thinking person could dispute the “change over time” component of evolution. When the word evolution is tossed about are we speaking of microevolution, small changes within a species over time, or are we talking about macroevolution, major mutations from one type of organism to another? I willingly concede the microevolution. Macroevolution is still quite debatable.

I believe in a Creator God. But I will aggressively seek the latest medications to fend off the microevolution of a disease. I see no intellectual dishonesty in that position. In Paul’s letter to Timothy he wrote…

God doesn’t want us to be shy with his gifts, but bold and loving and sensible.  2 Timothy 1:7 The Message

God has given us a mind and the freedom to use it.

 

 

As I surveyed the annual end of the year summaries I came across the Ig Nobels, an annual ceremony that honors seemingly inane research projects. “

Marc Abrahams, creator of the Ig Nobels and editor of the Annals of Improbable Research, the science humor magazine that coordinates the prizes said that,  “The point [of the awards] is to expose people to things they might not come across.” 

Mission accomplished. Here are the real 2005 winners of Ig Noble awards. My Ig Noramus Award winning commentary is italicized.

Claire Rind and Peter Simmons of Newcastle University in England nabbed the 2005 Ig Nobel Peace prize for their work electronically monitoring the brain cells of locusts as the insects watched selected scenes from Star Wars.

“The reason I did the research was curiosity. I had to know,” Rind said in jest. On a serious note, her research studies the way that locusts avoid predators. She hopes the information will lead to new tools that will help cars avoid collisions.

I have begun my own studies by monitoring the brain cells of roaches as they watch selected TV pastors. I hope that by studying when the roaches are drawn to the television I can help gullible viewers avoid bad theology.

The winners of the Ig Nobel Fluid Dynamics prize—hailing from universities in Finland, Germany, and Hungary—won for calculating the pressure that builds up inside a penguin’s bowels before it defecates. But none of the honored penguin researchers were able to attend the ceremony because the U.S. denied them visas.

Who says Homeland Security isn’t doing their jobs?

Yoshihiro Nakamats of Tokyo, who won the Nutrition prize for his meticulous photographing of every meal he has eaten during the past 34 years.

The research value of this would be?????

A large team of international researchers won the Ig Nobel in Biology for their paper in the February 2004 issue of the journal Applied Herpetology. Their research, which catalogued frogs that smell like vanilla and others like flowers, may result in new perfumes or lead to frog-skin-based biopharmaceuticals. The team studied and catalogued different scents emitted by more than 100 species of frogs under stress. Some smelled like cashews, while others smelled like licorice, mint or rotting fish.

My prediction for next year’s hot new men’s scent: Kermit. Or you might hear something like this next Christmas…

“Love your perfume”!

“Oh thank you. It’s Eau de Tree Frog”.

Anonymous Internet entrepreneurs of Nigeria, who won the Literature prize for writing compelling short stories that are then sent to millions of people around the globe via the Internet, accompanied by pleas for cash.

I have had numerous opportunities to become rich by helping these poor folk. I hope when they do get those lost riches they will invest in a spell check.

And may I suggest that every one double check all of these email stories before you hit the forward button. I probably receive a half dozen inaccurate email forwards a week.  A friend of mine sent a tongue in cheek email thanking everyone for warning him about various health scares and internet viruses and on and on.

Yes, I want to thank you so much for looking out for me that I will now
return the favor!

If you don’t send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 7
minutes, a large pigeon with a wicked case of diarrhea will land on your
head at 5:00 p.m. (PDT) this afternoon. I know this will occur because it
actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor’s ex-mother-in-law’s
second husband’s cousin’s beautician.

I am forwarding this message to everyone on my list. I mean…what if it is true? And I really hate pigeons.

 

Greeting cards have all been sent
The Christmas rush is through
But I still have one wish to make
A special one for you     Lyrics from ‘Merry Christmas Darling’ – The Carpenters

Yesterday I braved the day after Christmas shopping throngs with the lovely Mrs. Burchett in search of sale priced Christmas ornaments and other half-priced treasures. Actually I found the frenzy at Crate and Barrel to be only slightly less dangerous than the Running of the Bulls in Spain. So I spent a fair amount of time in a nearby Starbucks while she braved the frothing throngs. But I was with her in spirit.

My caffinated quiet time gave me an opportunity to reflect on the odd way we celebrate Christmas. The build up to Christmas goes on for weeks and then, before you can file a lawsuit, it is over. We rush pell mell to Christmas Day with intensity that would make Coach Bobby Knight proud. The day itself, like the average Super Bowl,  cannot live up to the hype.

So I sat listening to ‘Winter Wonderland’ in the seventy degree temperatures of Dallas and I felt a little melancholy. Somehow I had managed to let another Christmas sneak up on me and pass me by while I was busy shopping, wrapping, buying, and rushing. I have a calendar. How does this happen? Christmas is my favorite time of the year and now I sat wondering where it had gone. How did I miss it? I suddenly felt like I was in the middle of a Peanuts Christmas special…

• Charlie Brown: I just don’t understand Christmas, I guess. I like getting presents and sending Christmas cards and decorating trees and all that, but I’m still not happy. I always end up feeling depressed. 
  
• Lucy Van Pelt: Charlie Brown, you’re the only person I know who can take a wonderful season like Christmas and turn it into a problem.

I hope I haven’t turned Christmas into a problem but I really do want it to last more than a day. Maybe the idea of the Twelve Days of Christmas is a good one. That would give me some time to settle in a bit before the holiday goes whizzing by. The 12 days of Christmas were traditionally the 12 days that separate December 25 from Epiphany, which is celebrated January 6. Some believed that was the date that the wise men visited the baby Jesus with their gifts.

On coming to the house, they saw the child with his mother Mary, and they bowed down and worshipped him. Then they opened their treasures and presented him with gifts of gold and of incense and of myrrh. Matthew  2  NIV

Obviously Mary and Joseph had located a place to stay since the birth of Jesus. The Magi came to the house (not the stable) and saw the child. Traditionally there has been the custom of giving gifts throughout the 12 days, rather than the frenetic frenzy on the morning of December 25. That tradition has never really caught on in instant gratification America! The most difficult fruit of the spirit to successfully cultivate in this culture is patience. Apparently our American soil does not allow the patience fruit to mature.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Galatians 5 NIV

But I suspect our society could kidnap the spirit of the 12 Days of Christmas tradition as well. We would simply increase the angst and sale papers and overall frenzy. If you can’t find one perfect gift imagine how crazy trying to buy twelve would make you!  

Perhaps thoughtful Christians could co-opt the 12 Days of Christmas and make it a time of reflection on the incarnation of a Savior. Maybe we could spend a little extra time meditating on the miracle of God becoming man and yet remaining God.

I find it interesting that epiphany has become an “in” word and is defined at dictionary.com as  “a sudden manifestation of the meaning of something.” How appropriate that by reflecting for the next few days on the arrival of Jesus you can have an epiphany just in time for Epiphany! The original Christmas epiphany happened in the fields outside of Bethlehem.

And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in clothes and lying in a manger.”

 Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,
 “Glory to God in the highest,
      and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests.”

 When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, “Let’s go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about.”

 So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger. When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them. 

Rewind to the beginning of this blog. I do have one wish…make that prayer…for you during this Christmas season. I pray that you have found the One that the shepherds hurried to see. And that you will spread the word of what you have been told about Him.

Merry Third Day of Christmas! (French Hen Day…if you are keeping score)