Charisa Stories

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  • WWJA? What Would Jesus Ask?

    Followers of Jesus confidently proclaim that Jesus is the answer.

    I believe that.

    But it is fascinating to see how Jesus, the one with all the answers, dealt with those who asked Him questions. The Gospels record 183 times that Jesus is asked a question. He directly answered only three. That is not a typo. Three.

    If you want to do a little extra credit homework they are John 18:37, Luke 11:1, and Matthew 22:36-37. I was more that a little surprised when I first learned of those numbers.

    The Gospels also note that Jesus asked 307 questions. There is clearly something to be gleaned from these numbers. Without a doubt I believe that Jesus knew the answers. He also knew the heart and motives of the questioners. So why in the world would he deflect and ask a question instead of just answering directly with the perfect wisdom of God?

    The technique Jesus used most often was answering a question with a question. My feeling is that Jesus responded that way because He understood the nature of man. Many (if not most) of the questioners had already reached a conclusion before asking. Jesus knew that a perfectly timed question would often help validate a point that needed to be made. Sometimes the question exposed the hypocrisy of the interrogator. Perhaps the most important reason was answering a thoughtful query forced the people asking the question to think.

    One of the three questions Jesus answered directly from the list above was when a disciple asked “will you teach us how to pray”? I believe Jesus responding to questions with a question was likewise teaching us how to more effectively share the truth we so desperately desire to communicate.

    Jesus is teaching us to listen and initiate honest conversation. If a follower of Jesus comes across as a know it all it can diminish the grace Jesus offers to anyone seeking Him. Engaging in caring conversation opens the door to speak truth without condemnation.

    Jesus opened the door and invited those who were actually seeking answers to come inside and learn. Often His honest questions exposed those whose goal was to deny who Jesus said He was.

    Matthew described a moment when some religious leaders tried to shame the disciples of Jesus with this question.

    Then some Pharisees and teachers of the law came to Jesus from Jerusalem and asked, “Why do your disciples break the tradition of the elders? They don’t wash their hands before they eat!”

    I can picture the smug expressions on the faces of the Pharisees. They did not see this question coming.

    Jesus replied, “And why do you break the command of God for the sake of your tradition?” (Matthew 15:1-3)

    Jesus redirected a legalistic accusation into a question about the motivation of the Pharisee’s hearts. Powerful.

    A question that Jesus asked His disciples rocked my early career desire to seek money and power.

    “And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul? Is anything worth more than your soul?” (Mark 8:36-37, NLT)

    Whoa! Wait! That was an important question I had to consider. As I have added considerable mileage to my spiritual journey odometer I have seen the answer to that question revealed so clearly. There is nothing in this world that matters more than the hope I have in Jesus for my eternal home and for the heavenly reunion with so many dear to me.

    But the most important question that Jesus asked in my humble opinion was recorded in Matthew 16. Jesus asked his disciples who the general population thought he was. They replied that some thought he was John the Baptist. Some felt he might be Elijah, Jeremiah, or another one of the prophets.

    I can picture Jesus listening intently and then asking the most important question any of us will ever answer.

    “But who do you say I am?”

    I tried to dodge that question for a period of time but I finally came to believe the response that Peter gave to Jesus.

    Simon Peter answered, “You are the Messiah, the Son of the living God.”

    Jesus replied, “You are blessed, Simon son of John, because my Father in heaven has revealed this to you.”

    Everyone who responds in that way is blessed. I am so grateful for the sacrifice Jesus made for me. I am so grateful for His daily grace and patience with me. I want to follow the example of Jesus and not try to have all of my answers cued up and ready to show my theological knowledge. I want to listen, ask questions, show love, offer grace, and engage others in a conversation that leads to an honest discussion of the Good News of the Gospel. I want to ask the kind of questions my Savior would ask and do it with His caring love.

  • Being Thankful This Year Is More Important Than Ever

    I encourage you to turn off the news for a day and concentrate on what you have to be thankful for this holiday. I think you might be surprised at how many good things you take for granted everyday. I love the concept of Thanksgiving. The idea that we collectively take a day to concentrate on the abundant blessings we have in this country.

    Thanksgiving Song by Mary Chapin Carpenter captures the intimacy of this wonderful holiday.

    Grateful for each hand we hold
    Gathered round this table.
    From far and near we travel home,
    Blessed that we are able.

    I have so much to be grateful for this Thanksgiving. I am grateful for another year with my wonderful wife Joni. I am grateful for three wonderful sons, three amazing daughter-in-laws, and seven heart stealing grandchildren. I am blessed that our family is able to be together this Thanksgiving. I am grateful for good friends. I am grateful to be an American.

    Grateful for this sheltered place
    With light in every window,
    Saying “welcome, welcome, share this feast
    Come in away from sorrow.”

    Every year brings sorrow. Friends and family have suffered illness this year. Some have gone through deep trials. Some have passed away. Sorrow is a part of this journey. But there is something healing about counting blessings and feeling gratitude. Taking that time provides a sheltered place from sorrow. For me the light in the window of my soul is my trust in a God that is faithful, loving and good in both blessings and in sorrow.

    Grateful for what’s understood,
    And all that is forgiven;

    Jesus is the light that said welcome when I felt anything but welcome. He invited me to the feast that I did not deserve to attend because of His grace. Jesus said I was forgiven. How can I be anything but grateful if I understand the magnitude of that undeserved love?

    We try so hard to be good,
    To lead a life worth living.

    I might add a little personal clarification to Carpenter’s lyric. I understand the desire to live a life of significance. I get trying to be good. I believe we have a reason for being here. But my experience with the grace of the Lord Jesus has taught me that it is not trying so hard to lead a life worth living that brings peace and joy. It is following Jesus each day. It is allowing God to love me and asking Him to help me give away that love to others. It is trusting God to provide opportunities to serve. It is believing that God is faithful even through sorrow. It is trusting that what God says about me is true. I am so grateful for grace. So very grateful.

    Paul’s words to the Colossian Church make a fitting devotional thought for this holiday.

    Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful.

    Let the message about Christ, in all its richness, fill your lives. Teach and counsel each other with all the wisdom he gives. Sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs to God with thankful hearts. And whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through him to God the Father. (Colossians 3:12-17, NLT)

    I hope you have a blessed Thanksgiving.

  • Stop Fighting a Fight that’s Already Won

    A song by Big Daddy Weave cycled up on the playlist this weeend. “Redeemed” summed up my struggle over many years and encouraged me to know (again) that I am not alone in this battle.

    Seems like all I can see was the struggle
    Haunted by ghosts that lived in my past

    Bound up in shackles of all my failures
    Wondering how long is this gonna last

    Then You look at this prisoner and say to me “Son, stop fighting a fight that’s already been won”

    That is the truth I have to remind myself just about every day. The fight has already been won. Yet I too often live as if my self-effort is required to make up for past struggles and efforts. That I need to earn the grace that is already mine. I need to remind myself everyday what the lyricist proclaims next.

    I am redeemed, You set me free
    So I’ll shake off theses heavy chains
    Wipe away every stain now I’m not who I used to be
    I am redeemed

    I am redeemed. Paul spent a little over two years teaching and discipling the new believers in Ephesus. Not long after he left Paul received reports that those new hearts had reverted to old habits. Things were a bit of a mess and the word came back that the old behaviors of rage, immorality, lying, stealing, and gossip were resurfacing. Paul wrote a letter to address this sad turn of events. Yet the amazing thing to me is that the first three chapters never address their sin. Paul even calls them Saints for crying out loud! If I was writing that letter it would have had an entirely different tone. Something more along these lines. “What are you thinking? I am so disappointed in you. What is wrong with you? Do you know how much I sacrificed for you?” But Paul doesn’t do that. All he does is remind them who they are.

    Adopted
    Redeemed
    Sealed

    He chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love He predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of His will, to the praise of his glorious grace, with which He has blessed us in the Beloved. In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of His grace, which He lavished upon us, in all wisdom and insight making known to us the mystery of His will, according to his purpose, which he set forth in Christ as a plan for the fullness of time, to unite all things in him, things in heaven and things on earth.

    In Him we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to the purpose of Him who works all things according to the counsel of His will, so that we who were the first to hope in Christ might be to the praise of his glory. In Him you also, when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation, and believed in Him, were sealed with the promised Holy Spirit, who is the guarantee of our inheritance until we acquire possession of it, to the praise of His glory. (Ephesians 1, ESV)

    Makes me feel a little better that folks who were mentored by Paul needed a refresher course in who they were. It makes me feel a lot better that Paul understood that the first thing on the list was to remind them of who they were and only then address their wrong behavior. We tend to reverse that order. One more line from this wonderful song by Big Daddy Weave…

    I remember oh God, You’re not done with me yet.

    Praise God for that! And praise God for His amazing grace and patience with this very slow learner.

  • The Key to Healthy Relationships

    I discovered a couple of years ago that a talented musician/producer/singer/songwriter from my hometown of Chillicothe, Ohio is my second cousin! Jerry Salley’s career in bluegrass, country, and gospel music has been remarkably successful.

    I am not sure how I missed knowing that but count me grateful I found out. His album, Bridges and Backroads, features a tribute to our mutual hometown of Chillicothe.

    One song resonates in my heart every time I listen to the album. Without Forgiveness opens during a wedding ceremony as the writer observes the starry-eyed love of a young couple. They are beginning a journey the lyricist knows will not always be idyllic. Relationships are hard and often messy. The chorus of the song sums up what that journey could look like if you choose the path of selfishness and pride.

    Without forgiveness,
    Life’s a long and empty road.
    Without forgiveness,
    We’d give up and just let go.

    I’ve had a long term and probably unhealthy envy of songwriters who can say more in a stanza that I can blabber out in a lengthy chapter. And this next lyric is powerful.

    Oh we never want to hurt each other,
    That’s just somethin’ that were gonna’ do

    We let often let relationships get away from us when we had no intention of wounding that person. Most of us bring baggage into relationships that can cause hurt. We can act out of childhood rejection and painful life experiences in ways we don’t even understand. But God has given us the tool to keep going.

    Forgiveness.

    Ruth Graham was once asked the key to making a marriage successful. Her insightful response was that “a great marriage is made up of two great forgivers.”

    The math is important there. It takes two great forgivers that understand this relational journey requires patience, love, grace, and forgiveness from both partners. Jerry Salley asks the question that many have had answered with heartbreaking results.

    And I hate to think what might become of me and you
    Without forgiveness

    There is a hope that is available to all of us. The song finishes by looking back to a blood stained hill on a Friday afternoon long ago. 

    People on a hillside stand there lookin’ up.
    To a Cross that says there’d be no hope for us,
    Without forgiveness

    That forgiveness from the finished work of our Lord Jesus Christ is the gift of grace that changes everything. 

    I imagine the heart of Jesus is saddened by our stubborn refusal to consider His forgiveness as the primary power to help us forgive others.

    There is fear on that road to forgiveness when you take your eyes off of Christ. Your heart cries out in protest. What if they reject, scoff or take advantage of my forgiveness? Jesus reminds us gently that He understands.

    When you break those chains of fear and allow God to heal your heart the weight of the world will lift off of your soul. It is a long road to forgiveness. Sadly, it is too often the road less taken. But it is the road that will make a difference in your journey with Jesus.

    Satan knows all too well how a world shown God’s love and grace would respond. So the enemy reminds us of grudges both real and enhanced. We turn from forgiveness because we decide our offender does not deserve it. There is no way I have found to release those grudges without the healing power of forgiveness. Author Will Davis wrote this powerful insight.

    “Once you decide to forgive, you initiate the healing process. Forgiveness gives your soul permission to move on to the higher and healthier ground of emotional recovery. Forgiveness is to your soul what antibiotics are to infection. It is the curative agent that will help to fully restore your soul. It doesn’t immediately remove the pain of offense but it does start you on the road to recovery.”

    I really like that perspective. The decision to forgive initiates but does not complete our healing. You will, in time, heal. I am asking you to pray that you can begin the healing process of forgiveness knowing that only time and God’s mercy can fully heal. That will start you down that road to forgiveness and empowerment to let go of the grudges that are weighing you down. You may not get there today or tomorrow. But you will never get there without taking the first step of faith. Paul reminds us that we have a powerful reason to be forgiving.

    “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Ephesians 4:32

    We have been forgiven. We did not deserve that gift. Without forgiveness life’s a long and empty road. It doesn’t have to be that way. Jesus offers forgiveness. Accept that gift and give it freely to others. It is a much happier road to travel.

  • Are Thoughts and Prayers Bad?

    I have written about this trend but I think it is worth revisiting. After a tragedy or sad event it is a common social media reaction to attack people of faith for offering “thoughts and prayers”. These posters assume that anyone expressing those sentiments don’t really care about solutions to whatever problem is being addressed. We seem to have lost the ability to recognize two things can be true at once. I may get mocked and/or canceled by some for the following statement.


    I honestly believe I can desire cultural change while praying for ultimate hope available through Christ.

    I don’t force that on others. I try to live it although I know I do that imperfectly. That is the power of grace. I don’t have to be perfect for God to use me to love others. So there is the challenge for Christians in this season. How can we love those who assign terrible motives to what may be a completely sincere response? We start by seeing if anything in the criticism is valid.

    I spent 40 years in television production trucks so rough language doesn’t impact me much. But I have to admit the language and anger directed toward Christians who express “thoughts and prayers” is stunning. It is easy to dismiss such vulgar statements with defensiveness and anger. I have learned that there are many ways to address criticism. For too many years my preferred method was outright dismissal with a side of disdain. 

    I have been working on a project with former Pittsburgh Pirates manager Clint Hurdle. We discussed the criticism that both of us received in our careers. His was much more public than mine but I could at least relate. Clint said he learned to honestly evaluate even the ugliest criticism. He knew he could toss much of it away because he had evaluated his heart and motives in making a decision. But he also learned that sometimes there is a valid critique hiding in the vitriol. That bit of honest criticism is what he prayerfully took away while discarding the rest. So is there a lesson there for followers of Jesus?

    I think we can ask for God’s grace towards those who are judgmental and unkind. Believe me, I know that is not easy and not possible apart from His grace. I don’t mean the next statement to be condescending to those who do not share my faith because I have been on both sides. If I did not have the hope that there is more than this existence I would likely be just as frustrated and angry. 

    So if my faith is real I need to back up, show kindness, and continue to love those who might not show those same reactions toward me. 

    As for finding some valid criticism in the vitriol I will throw this out for you to “think and pray” about. When we type that we are sending “thoughts and prayers” I believe that Christians must also be looking for ways to show love through our actions. Thoughts and prayers need hands and feet displaying the love of Christ to have eternal impact. 

    It is hard to spend much time in the New Testament and not realize our challenge for Christians toward those hurting, in need, and devoid of hope. Here is a very small sample: 

    If anyone has the world’s goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God’s love abide in him? (1 John 3:17 , ESV)

    What good is it, my brothers, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? Can that faith save him? If a brother or sister is poorly clothed and lacking in daily food, and one of you says to them, “Go in peace, be warmed and filled,” without giving them the things needed for the body, what good is that? So also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead.
    (James 2:14-17, ESV)

    Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. (Philippians 2:4 , ESV)

    The charge of hypocrisy leveled at the church has a lot to do with our obsession with sin management over living a life of kindness, grace, and service. If I am not living out of grace, then Jesus’ arms aren’t reaching as far as they could through me. Loving one another is clearly step one. The time to start making that a priority is today.

    So I am absolutely fine with your sincere expression of thoughts and prayers when people are hurting. But I am challenging myself and you to be willing to be the hands and feet that reflect the love of Christ. Don’t focus on the anger of those who don’t share your hope. Focus on the One who has given you hope in this challenging season and be a light in the darkness.

  • Finding Hope in the Hurt

    Being in community with others means you share their joys and their sorrows. Sometimes the sorrows come in tsunami waves and all you can do is care, pray, and be present. Good and decent people deal with financial, emotional, and physical suffering all around us and it is easy to lose heart. The news seems to be only tragedy and heartbreaking sadness. What can be redeemed of all of this suffering?

    A song called “The Hurt and the Healer” by MercyMe resonated when I first heard it but now that same song is a go to when facing trials. The lyrics ask the question we all struggle with. 

    Why?
    The question that is never far away
    The healing doesn’t come from the explained
    Jesus please don’t let this go in vain

    I can’t explain why things happen. Sometimes it is sin. Sometimes it is simply life. I have learned in my years of following Jesus that He does not let suffering go in vain. I have seen over and over how God redeems sadness and tragedy. He does bring beauty out of ashes. When I cannot see how any good can come out of a trial I trust my Abba Father in faith. Believe me I don’t “feel” that but I can move forward in faith. God has never let me down. And I believe He never will.

    Breathe
    Sometimes I feel it’s all that I can do
    Pain so deep that I can hardly move
    Just keep my eyes completely fixed on You
    Lord take hold and pull me through

    Most of us have been there at some point. If not, you will be someday. Peter talked about the inevitability of suffering in this life in a passage that we usually leave out of the brochure when we tell others about our faith. All of us who follow Jesus are still likely to suffer.

    “Dear friends, don’t be surprised at the fiery trials you are going through, as if something strange were happening to you. Instead, be very glad—for these trials make you partners with Christ in his suffering, so that you will have the wonderful joy of seeing his glory when it is revealed to all the world.” (1 Peter 4, NLT)

    Count me among the brethren who tried to dance around this truth for as long as I could. Be very glad? Seriously? But when you have nowhere else to turn but to Christ you find out that you should have turned to Him first all along.

    So here I am
    What’s left of me
    Where glory meets my suffering

    I’m alive
    Even though a part of me has died
    You take my heart and breathe it back to life
    I’ve fallen into your arms open wide
    When the hurt and the healer collide

    Jesus meets you there and not just in theory. He suffered. He agonized with God the Father. He knows the human condition. He has already been where you are. When the hurt and the Healer collide something amazing happens. The pain may not immediately go away but peace and hope begin to slowly heal the pain. Peter did not end his writing on suffering with the buzz kill of Chapter 4. He wrapped it in a bow of incredible hope in the next chapter.

    “In his kindness God called you to share in his eternal glory by means of Christ Jesus. So after you have suffered a little while, He will restore, support, and strengthen you, and He will place you on a firm foundation.” (1 Peter 5, NLT)

    That is a promise that we can hold on to in times of sorrow and suffering. I am trusting that promise for myself and my friends and family who are hurting.

  • Quit Waiting for the World to Change

    Joni and I have been listening to my eclectic mix of music on the road this week. The lyrics from a song released 17 years ago sounds like it was written this week. The artist was John Mayer and he won a Grammy for Best Male Vocal Pop Performance with his song “Waiting on the World to Change”. 

    The song describes the apathy displayed by many of Mayer’s generation toward political and social disunity. The words are powerful and, to me, a bit depressing.

    Me and all my friends 
    We’re all misunderstood 
    They say we stand for nothing and 
    There’s no way we ever could 

    Now we see everything that’s going wrong 
    With the world and those who lead it 
    We just feel like we don’t have the means 
    To rise above and beat it 

    So we keep waiting 
    Waiting on the world to change 

    That accurately describes our culture today. We are discouraged and even paralyzed by things out of our control. We feel like the world is hopeless.

    Sadly, this song also describes a growing attitude in the church. Many find fault with the church and those who lead it. Some of it is justified but too often we decide that we don’t have the energy or heart to help change it. Mayer describes the next step.

    It’s hard to beat the system 
    When we’re standing at a distance 
    So we keep waiting 
    Waiting on the world to change 

    Rather than step in it is easy to step back. It is even easier to step away. Researcher George Barna notes that millions of self-described born-again Christians have left the church. Many are standing at a distance and waiting on the church to change.

    A lot of disenfranchised Christians would tell you they support the church in theory. But they are sick of the church for…

    ___ Teaching that is too theological
    ___ Teaching that is not theological enough
    ___ Being too much about politics
    ___ Not aggressive enough politically
    ___ Being too legalistic
    ___ Being too freedom oriented
    ___ Playing music that is too modern
    ___ Playing music that is too old fashioned 

    You get the point. It is not a problem to find a problem. And we keep waiting. Waiting for the church to change.

    But Jesus has a different plan that could help this dilemma and also the apathy that Mayer sings about. Jesus asks us to accomplish the goal with a radical plan to change the world.

    He asks me to change. He asks you to change. Don’t focus on everyone else. Jesus tells us that we are accountable for ourselves. Period.

    Do you think things would change if we could implement the instructions below written to the church at Colossae?

    So if you’re serious about living this new resurrection life with Christ, act like it. Pursue the things over which Christ presides. Don’t shuffle along, eyes to the ground, absorbed with the things right in front of you. Look up, and be alert to what is going on around Christ—that’s where the action is. See things from his perspective. 

    And later in the chapter Paul describes what that would look like…

    So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It’s your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it. 

     Let the peace of Christ keep you in tune with each other, in step with each other. None of this going off and doing your own thing. And cultivate thankfulness. Let the Word of Christ—the Message—have the run of the house. Give it plenty of room in your lives. Instruct and direct one another using good common sense. And sing, sing your hearts out to God! Let every detail in your lives—words, actions, whatever—be done in the name of the Master, Jesus, thanking God the Father every step of the way.  (Colossians 3-The Message)

    Can you imagine what the church would look like if we lived those few verses alone? Accepting the love and light of God’s grace will change you. Then shining that light of grace will change others. If enough of us follow that plan the church will change. No waiting. And if enough churches change then the world will change.

    So that is the plan. No waiting required. Get started on you today. I will work on me. We can stop waiting for the church to change and we can stop waiting for the world to change. We can start trusting God to change our hearts and be obedient to do our part for His plan. It is a start. I believe it is the only way the world can change.