Charisa Stories

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The Devastating Toll of Anxiety and Worry

I see a lot of worried people around me. Worried about the pandemic. Worried about the national division. Worried about international tensions. Worried about all kinds of things. But this old proverb rings true today.

“Worry is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do but it doesn’t get you anywhere.”

As I get older I experience more and more how practical Scripture is for daily living. In the teaching of my youth the Bible was a book of lofty and seemingly impossible demands to behave in a way that would please God. Now I see that the Bible is a love story where Jesus met those impossible demands on my behalf. I see now that my simple faith and trust pleases God. And I see a practical book that shows me how to find joy during this temporary journey on earth. The Designer knew when we left the factory that worry is destructive. The study above merely confirms what Jesus said a couple of millenia ago.

“That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn’t life more than food, and your body more than clothing? Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are? Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?” (Matthew 6:25-27, NLT)

Jesus continues in the same message.

“So don’t worry about these things, saying, ‘What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?’ These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need. So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.” (Matthew, 6:31-34)

Our Designer knew something else. Most of what we consume ourselves with never happens or is not worth getting anxious about. Modern research verifies ancient wisdom.

A research study examined how many times an imagined calamity actually came to pass. In this study, subjects were asked to write down their worries over an extended period of time and then identify which of their imagined misfortunes did not actually happen.

The remarkable results came back that 85 percent of what subjects worried about never happened! Slow down and digest that. Eighty-five percent of what we work ourselves into varied states of frenzy about never even happens. And here is the even more remarkable finding. For the 15 percent of the worry agenda that did happen, nearly 80 percent of the respondents reported they were able to deal with the concern better than expected or they learned a valuable lesson from the event. So 97 percent of what the majority of this study group worried about was not worth wasting the energy, faith and time.

Worry is exactly where the Enemy wants to keep the children of God. Living in fear of the future cheats you out of today. A precious moment tugs on your heart like a child at your sleeve. Too often you miss that moment concerning yourself with something that likely won’t happen or will happen in a way that your worry can not change.

For those of you who struggle with worry maybe it helps to remember that your Heavenly Father is always on the job. Worry is not an attribute of our God. I suspect that it grieves His heart that we are paralyzed with worry when our Father is calling us to know Him, trust Him and rest in Him.

Trusting Jesus for tomorrow, next week, next year and forever frees us to see what this moment holds. No amount of worry will change the fact that we will face death, adversity and sadness.

As a young believer one of my favorite artists was Andrae Crouch. His lyrics powerfully showed how God uses trials to help us mature in our faith.

I’ve had many tears and sorrows
I’ve had questions for tomorrow
There’s been times I didn’t know right from wrong
But in every situation
God gave me blessed consolation
That my trials come to only make me strong

Through it all
Through it all
I’ve learned to trust in Jesus
I’ve learned to trust in God

Through it all
Through it all
I’ve learned to depend upon His Word

I pray that all of us learn to trust in Jesus and depend upon His Word in this difficult season.

Much of this article was excerpted from Waking Up Slowly. The book discusses 21 different actions or attitudes that disconnect you from God and others. Check it out here.

January 24, 2022
Time For A Heart Demo Day?

Fixer Upper with Chip and Joanna Gaines has made Waco, Texas a tourist destination. Who saw that coming? People come from all over the country to visit the Magnolia Silos, shops, and restaurant. One of the fun parts of every Fixer Upper episode is “Demo Day”. Joanna evaluates the home to see what needs to go. Sometimes a wall needs to be knocked down. Sometimes a kitchen island is removed. Sometimes cabinets or shelves are destroyed and more stylish and efficient units are put in place. Sometimes floors are ripped up and foundations shored up.

Chip Gaines loves demolition day. He comes in wielding a sledge hammer and a gigantic smile as he destroys sheet rock and fixtures.

If you didn’t know what the end goal was it would look like vandalism. Knocking down a wall and leaving an enormous mess doesn’t look like a great plan at first glance. It is only when you see how removing that wall opens up the room that you see the method to Chip’s hammering madness. It is only when you see the beautiful remake of a kitchen that you understand why the original island and cabinets were smashed into kindling. The deconstruction makes sense only when you see how much better the house looks and functions afterwards.

More than ever it feels like we need the Holy Spirit to be the fixer-upper of our hearts. The divisions in our church and culture have made the need for heart renewal urgent. Our cry should echo the Psalmist.

Create in me a clean heart, O God.
Renew a loyal spirit within me. (Psalm 51:10, NLT)

We should all desire a clean heart that allows the Holy Spirit to move unencumbered in our lives. But the truth is we probably all need a demo day now and then. Maybe you need to knock down some walls of pride that keep the Spirit of God from moving freely in our hearts. God desires to give His children grace to love and forgive others. But sometimes we have to clear some space.

And he gives grace generously. As the Scriptures say,

“God opposes the proud
but gives grace to the humble.” (James 4:6. NLT)

Demolish the walls of pride to make space for humility and your heart will become a much more friendly place for your family, friends, and community.

Perhaps you need to rearrange some things in your heart. Clear out those cabinets that stored worthless things and rebuild it with lots of storage for God’s Word.

I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you. (Psalm 119:11, NET)

The demo process can be messy. But if you are committed to clearing out walls and strongholds that hinder your walk with the Lord I am convinced He will meet you there to reconstruct a clean heart. Don’t be afraid of demo days. Maybe we should show up with a smile of trust on our face knowing that God’s rebuild is worth the mess.

January 17, 2022
The Reset Button We Need For 2022

I think we are just beginning to recognize and unpack the damage caused by the pandemic lock downs. The separation of friends and families from normal interaction has left it’s toll on the culture. I would argue the effect has been even more profound on the church. If you are/were a faithful church participant you had likely bought into the truth that we need one another on this journey. Many of us have sacrificed that gift of one another to this insidious virus. I have seen responses and behaviors from churchgoers that surprised even me and I wrote a book called When Bad Christians Happen to Good People! I think the isolation may have exposed some baggage that had been buried under busyness and routine. More on that in next week’s musing.

I am suggesting that we need to admit this separation has had a negative effect on most of us. It feels like patience is in record short supply and it is not a supply chain issue. The actions and words of others seem to agitate us more easily. The ability to discuss difficult topics with civility has become almost impossible. I don’t think those trends were a result of the pandemic but I do think its emotional and spiritual effect exacerbated it.

So what do we do? Today I wanted to propose a reset button we can push to help reconfigure our hearts.

Years ago an office supply company promoted a big red button that proclaimed “That Was Easy” every time you pushed it. Certainly nothing about today’s spiritual climate is easy but I am proposing a button we can mentally push when the feelings of anger, frustration, judgment, and even hatred bubble up. Push this button in your mind and hear these words.

“We All Need Grace“

Paul threw down a pretty straight forward statement to the Ephesian church.

Be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.
(Ephesians 4:32, NLT)

When my impulse is to judge someone I need to push the grace button and remember God pursued me with the gift of undeserved grace. In this rush to judgment social media culture it is so disgustingly easy to go to condemnation first. Remember when the woman caught in very obvious sin was brought before Jesus by a hyped up group of self-righteous judges. When He reminded the mob of their own heart condition they went quietly away.

“Where are your accusers? Didn’t even one of them condemn you?”

“No, Lord,” she said.

And Jesus said, “Neither do I. Go and sin no more.”

Jesus knew her heart had changed. She didn’t need a lecture, spiritual discipline, or penance. She needed forgiveness, release from judgment, and hope. Jesus is our example. He pushed the grace button when the mob wanted condemnation.

In 2022 I want to reset my heart from the damage done by isolation and cultural negativity. I need to push the grace button.

If I can’t forgive then I have forgotten how much I have been forgiven. I need to push the grace button.

When I look with disdain at another person I have forgotten how God sees them. That person is a soul that Jesus loves. I need to push the grace button.

When I don’t accept another brother or sister I have forgotten that I was unacceptable to a Holy God and that it is only because of Jesus that I am acceptable to Him. I need to push the grace button.

When I assume to know the motives of those who oppose me I have forgotten that only God can see the true hearts of others. I need to push the grace button.

When I can’t serve without expectation of personal return I have forgotten that my service should come from gratitude for the amazing grace of Jesus. I need to push the grace button.

Pastor Tullian Tchividjian wrote this about our “aversion” to the radical concept of grace.

“We love the “if/then” proposition: “If” you do this, “then” I will do that. We love “what-goes-around-comes-around” conditionality. It makes us feel safe. It’s easy to comprehend. It makes perfect sense to our grace-shy hearts. It’s makes life formulaic. It breeds a sense of manageability. And best of all, it keeps us in control. We get to keep our ledgers and scorecards.

The logic of grace, on the other hand, is incomprehensible to our law-locked hearts. Grace is thickly counter-intuitive. It feels risky and unfair. It wrestles control out of our hands. It is wild and unsettling. It turns everything that makes sense to us upside-down and inside-out. Law says, “Good people get good stuff; bad people get bad stuff.” Grace says, “The bad get the best; the worst inherit the wealth; the slave becomes a son.” This offends our deepest sense of justice and rightness. We are, by nature, allergic to grace.”

We need to push the grace button and believe this wonderful truth written in Hebrews for another uncertain year ahead.

So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most. (Hebrews 4:16, NLT)

January 10, 2022
The Broken Road Can Be A Blessing

Somehow the normal promise of a new year seems muted by the ongoing negative news. The sadness, division, and fear of the past couple of years feels like it will be here forever. How can you navigate the broken roads of this world?

A song titled Bless the Broken Road was made popular by Rascal Flatts and the lyrics describe how difficulties are often teaching moments for future blessings.

I set out on a narrow way, many years ago
Hoping I would find true love, along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two, wiped my brow and kept pushing through

It is so interesting to look back over the landscape of over four decades (yikes) of my journey with Jesus. I can see God’s hand in so many events and even heartbreak in my life. My early church experience was a broken road of legalistic and judgmental Christians who crushed the spirit of a young and fumbling Christian. That experience became the basis of my books. Sadly, many of us bear the wounds of dealing with imperfect people in the sometimes dysfunctional little gathering we call church. Still, God blessed that broken road in my life by bringing the message of grace into my journey.

The broken road for me included the devastating death of a beloved nephew many years ago. At that point I was at a crossroads in my faith. I would either turn my back on God or get serious in my pursuit of Him. Along that broken road God brought a man named Wendel Deyo into my life. His life challenged me and he helped me stay on the narrow way. That relationship led to my association with Athletes in Action. And while on staff with AIA I met the lovely Joni Banks and we were married in 1976. And again, God blessed a broken road.

This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you
Yes He did

It is hard to imagine life without Joni. Her cancer forced me to realize the possibility of that. I am so grateful that she is a sixteen year survivor and that she persevered in our relationship.

I think about the years I spent, just passin’ through
I’d like to have the time I lost, and give it back to you

I remember with great sadness the years I spent working too much, taking my bride for granted, telling her that the schedule would soon “ease up”. But it rarely did. I really wish I had that time back. I would give it to her in a heartbeat.

Another thing I stress to young couples and parents is make time for your mate and your children. It took me too long to realize the truth that our schedule reflects our priorities. But somehow Joni hung with me. She had traveled her own broken road.

But you just smile and take my hand, you’ve been there you understand
It’s all part of a grander plan, that is comin’ true

The journey is not easy. Never will be. One of the big mistakes we make in sharing our faith is making it seem like all troubles are over when you embrace Christianity. That is not in the contract. We will still have problems and heartaches and even tragedies. The past year has challenged most of us and has been absolutely heartbreaking for many. King David wrote these words while escaping down a broken road.

The LORD is close to the brokenhearted;
he rescues those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18

How can we best navigate our broken roads? We can learn from the story of Joshua who had the unenviable task of taking over for Moses to lead the people of Israel into the Promised Land. He had to feel inadequate and maybe even terrified. Moses had the wisdom of his many years to share with Joshua.

Then Moses called for Joshua, and as all Israel watched, he said to him, “Be strong and courageous! For you will lead these people into the land that the Lord swore to their ancestors he would give them. You are the one who will divide it among them as their grants of land. ⁸Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you; he will neither fail you nor abandon you.” (Deuteronomy 31:7-8, NLT)

Moses was not saying that Joshua should be strong and courageous because of his great leadership ability or the strong army at his command. Moses did not say he should not be afraid or discouraged because he had been carefully groomed to take over. The reason for that hope was simple and profoundly true today. The Lord will be with you and He will neither fail you nor abandon you.

No matter how broken the road you are traveling might be you can know that your Father is with you in the struggle. Don’t be afraid to continue down the broken road. God promises to go with you. Always.

January 2, 2022
Do Not Pack Away Your Joy After Christmas

This week we will finish one of my least favorite tasks of the year. Taking down the Christmas decorations always fills me with melancholy. I love Christmas and the message of hope and joy it brings. That God entered human form and gave us hope in a Savior who understands our struggle.

We will pack up a treasured Nativity creche that has been a part of our family tradition for decades. That miracle in Bethlehem is where I place my joy as I head into a very unstable New Year. I find my joy in the Messiah, the Lord – who was born in the city of David. It is so easy to remember the reason for hope during Christmas.

We will pack away a decoration that spells out JOY. Now that we are past this wonderful season it would be easy to pack away joy in the attic and concentrate on cultural concerns. The twenty-four news cycle feeds on negativity. Hearing the message of gloom and doom over and over has it’s effect on even the most steadfast believers. The news anchors peddle darkness and fear and I choose not to be paralyzed by it. The angel of the Lord told the shepherds not to be afraid. Jesus talked a lot about fear.

“But don’t be afraid of those who threaten you. For the time is coming when everything that is covered will be revealed, and all that is secret will be made known to all. What I tell you now in the darkness, shout abroad when daybreak comes. What I whisper in your ear, shout from the housetops for all to hear! Don’t be afraid of those who want to kill your body; they cannot touch your soul. (Matthew 10 – NLT)

And these words from Jesus could have been in response to the news reporting hysteria we hear every day.

“That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food to eat or enough clothes to wear. For life is more than food, and your body more than clothing. Look at the ravens. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for God feeds them. And you are far more valuable to him than any birds! Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?…Don’t worry about such things. These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers all over the world, but your Father already knows your needs. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and he will give you everything you need.” (Luke 12, NLT)

So I have made some decisions. I don’t make vows because I know I will fall short at some point. Choosing a direction allows me to stumble off course but then get back on track.

I have decided to direct my time a little differently this year. I want to spend less time watching and reading the news and more time reading and meditating on God’s Word. I want to Bipartisan pray for our leaders in Washington but I am going to trust God to provide my hope. I want to live joyfully in each precious moment that God gives me and not live in paralyzing fear of the future. I agree with C.S. Lewis when he wrote these words. “There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind.“

We will soon have packed away the decorations for this year but I want to continually unpack the joy that Christ gives me for every single day in 2022. You can do that too. May you have a joyful New Year in spite of your circumstances. And remember where your true hope resides.

Happy New Year!

December 26, 2021
Today Eternal Hope Was Born

I finished my annual viewing of It’s a Wonderful Life this week. I noticed something that had escaped my notice previously. Angel Second Class Clarence is trying once again to earn his wings. Here is the dialogue as he receiver his assignment.

Senior Angel: A man down on Earth needs our help.
Clarence: Splendid. Is he sick?
Senior Angel: No, worse. He’s discouraged.

That really struck me. When you are sick you normally have a clear path to get better. You can rest, take medication, or have a medical procedure. When you are discouraged the path is often confused. Where can you turn for hope?

Christmas reminds us of the hope our world received in the most unlikely of places. Hope born in the most humble of circumstances. A King who gave up every privilege to make a path for us to God. Hope that is available to every single person who is willing to accept and receive it. C.S. Lewis wrote that “The Son of God became a man to enable men to become sons of God”. Treasure that in your heart when the Christmas activities are over. There is hope for you and me.

No matter your circumstances on this Christmas Day there is an eternal hope. I am so grateful for that gift today.

Merry Christmas.

December 25, 2021
The Miracle in the Manger

One of my contributions with these modest little musings is to continually ask the tough questions.

While listening to “Away in a Manger” my inquiring mind kicked in. You likely know verse three of the song.

The cattle are lowing
The poor Baby wakes
But little Lord Jesus
No crying He makes

As I listened an important series of difficult and probing inquiries popped into my head. What noise, exactly, were the cattle making when they started lowing? Was this normal cow talk? Did lowing just sound better than mooing in the lyric or is lowing a more spiritual and reverent cow sound? And then the most important question came to mind. What is wrong with me?

I can’t answer the last question but I can help with the others. Lowing is defined at dictionary.com as “the characteristic sound uttered by cattle; a moo”.

So little baby Jesus was awakened by the characteristic sound uttered by a cow. That would not have flowed well in the lyric so I understand using lowing. The next part of the song is disturbing to those of us who are parents. If any of the babies who grew up in our household were awakened by cattle lowing they would be squalling (defined as “the characteristic sound uttered by a ticked off baby; a scream”).

I remember as a child singing “Away in a Manger” and picturing the baby Jesus with this beatific smile on his face and a little halo hovering over his head. My images of the baby Jesus were indeed childish. But I wonder if we don’t carry a little of that flawed perspective about the “Baby Jesus” into our adult Christian journey.

This Christmas why not take a little time to think about the implications of the incarnation. That nice little theological word is used to denote when the second person of the Trinity assumed human form in the person of Jesus Christ and became both fully God and fully man. C.S. Lewis called the incarnation “the Grand Miracle.” He wrote: “The central miracle asserted by Christians is the Incarnation…. Every other miracle prepares for this, or exhibits this, or results from this…. It was the central event in the history of the Earth–the very thing that the whole story has been about”.

By a miracle that passes human comprehension, the Creator entered his creation, the Eternal entered time, God became human–in order to die and rise again for the salvation of all people. “He comes down; down from the heights of absolute being into time and space, down into humanity; down further still … (to) the womb … down to the very roots and sea-bed of the Nature He has created. But He goes down to come up again and bring the whole ruined world up with Him” (Miracles, C.S. Lewis).

Take a moment to meditate on the mystery of that. Fully God and fully man. I am sure the little Lord Jesus would have had the normal response to being awakened by any cow noise…lowing or other. His swaddling clothes had to be changed just like any baby.

How does that affect me this Christmas? Because God became flesh I can relate to a Savior that understands the frailties of my flesh. Because the Creator understands His creation I can be sure that God understands my pain, frustration and loneliness. It is difficult for me to relate to an invisible God. That is the miracle of God becoming man. I can relate to Jesus because He has walked in my sandals. Joni and I were always appreciative and blessed when people expressed love and care while she was battling breast cancer. But when a breast cancer survivor expressed that love it connected on a different level. They had been there, felt the fear, fought the tiring battle and traveled the long road. That is the sovereign genius of the incarnation. We can relate to God in flesh in a way that is different. When I suffer I know that Jesus understands. He has been there. When I am lonely or feeling betrayed I can know (in my finite ability) that He understands. When I am joyful and laughing He understands. By becoming like me I can believe that Jesus can empathize with me on a different level. Because I know He gets it then I also get it. God loves me and Jesus has my back.

My dear children, I am writing this to you so that you will not sin. But if anyone does sin, we have an advocate who pleads our case before the Father. He is Jesus Christ, the one who is truly righteous. (1 John 2, NLT)

Jesus became our advocate and our path to salvation when He arrived on earth. The miracle in the manger was not Jesus ignoring whatever cow sound they were making. The miracle was God becoming flesh.

Merry Christmas!

December 24, 2021