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I used to be quick to jump on Christians who failed morally. How could they claim to be a Christian and do something like that? I wondered how they got to such a low point in their journey.

Perhaps a bit of insight came from a Texas storm. Strong winds toppled a 50-foot-tall tree in a friend’s backyard. But strong winds are a part of every spring in Texas. Why did this particular storm fell a mature tree? The answer came as my friend cut up the fallen tree—it had completely rotted inside. There was no way to tell when you looked at the tree. The bark covered the decay and the leaves were still green and pretty. But inside the tree was dying. It finally reached a point where there was not enough strength left in its core to withstand another storm.

The example from nature is a metaphor for how we can topple as Christians and completely surprise those around us. We wear masks. We look good. We say the right things. We stay busy doing Christian things. We are more concerned about appearance than honest spiritual health. They is no way to tell by looking that the slow rot of sin is decaying our judgment and relationship with Jesus.

Tree experts will tell you that often a small wound in a tree left unattended will allow fungus to enter and begin the destructive process. If the wound had been treated, the disease could have been halted with little or no damage.

That is again a metaphor for what happens in our souls. Most of us are a little or a lot wounded by life and others. Perhaps pride or fear or simply not knowing what to do causes us to ignore the wound in our souls. And that opening allows the slow decay of unresolved sin that leads to a fall.

The illustration reminded me of the Scripture where Jesus railed against the “self-righteous” religious leaders:

“What sorrow awaits you teachers of religious law and you Pharisees. Hypocrites! For you are so careful to clean the outside of the cup and the dish, but inside you are filthy—full of greed and self-indulgence! You blind Pharisee! First wash the inside of the cup and the dish, and then the outside will become clean, too” (Matthew 23, NLT).

I know me. I know that I must seek the illuminating light of the Holy Spirit to help me see the filth and greed and self-indulgence that lies within or I could fall with a sickening thud as well. I know that forgiveness and redemption are available to everyone but I also know the terrible consequences of sin. When a Christian fails morally they pay a terrible price and so do those they have hurt.

Pray for those who fail and don’t write them off as “less of a Christian”. I would ask you to look in the mirror. If you see what I see you will extend grace to those who fail. What I see in the mirror is a person who was saved only by grace. I see a person who is capable of failing if I do not lean wholly on that grace every day. A person who does not want to hurt the heart or cause of Jesus because I am so grateful for His amazing grace. I like the way The Message translates Paul’s words to the Galatians:

“If someone falls into sin, forgivingly restore him, saving your critical comments for yourself. You might be needing forgiveness before the day’s out. Stoop down and reach out to those who are oppressed. Share their burdens, and so complete Christ’s law. If you think you are too good for that, you are badly deceived” (Galatians 6, The Message).

Twitter makes cowards courageous. The anonymity of cyberspace makes the mean spirited downright evil. I have watched with sadness as Twitter trolls have destroyed or severely damaged people and institutions. Sometimes the venom is directed at those who simply have a sincere difference of opinion on moral issues. Nothing seems to generate more glee than a Christian leader or institution failing.

Without fail the hypocrite word is used with smug satisfaction.

And it is true. Let me make this personal since I can only speak honestly for me. I am a hypocrite. I do not consistently live up to the teachings of Jesus. I fail. I sin. That is why I need a Savior and not a self-help course. I am confident not in my holiness but in the holiness of Jesus. I remember hearing a pastor say that “we all sin and fall short of the glory of God. But that doesn’t keep us from comparing distances.”

That is exactly what I used to do and still do when I forget why Jesus found it necessary to die for me! I was comparing distances between my own sinful judgement and comments about other people against what I was hearing about another person or place. I condemned without knowing anything about that person’s wounds or struggles. I would self-righteously note that at least I haven’t said something that offensive or done that bad thing! I am not as bad as them!

So what?

God’s Word says I am condemned when I judge, idolize, lie and covet. It doesn’t matter whether it is less offensive than another person’s actions. Whether I fall a millimeter short or miles short is meaningless. I have fallen short. I am a desperate sinner in need of a Savior. Today I asked for the Holy Spirit to examine my heart. I am not responsible for the comments of others. I am accountable for my comments and thoughts before the One who went to Cross to win my forgiveness.

Earlier in this space I wrote about a familiar passage from the Gospel of John. I wondered how Jesus might respond to today’s condemning cyber-mobs. Here is a modern version of a well known story.

A crowd soon gathered, and He (Jesus) sat down and taught them. As He was speaking, the teachers of politically correct speech brought a woman who had been caught in the act of hateful speech. They put her in front of the crowd.

“Teacher,” they said to Jesus, “this woman was caught in the very act of intolerance and hate speech. We say she should be fired, disgraced, and shunned. What do you say?”

They were trying to trap Him into saying something they could use against Him, but Jesus stooped down and looked at the device in His hand. They kept demanding an answer, so He typed a message that appeared on every device in the crowd simultaneously. They read the message on their screen.  “All right, but let the one who has never unfairly judged another and who has never said an ugly untruth about another send the first Tweet!” Then he looked down and typed something else.

When the accusers read this, they slipped away one by one, beginning with the oldest, until only Jesus was left in the middle of the crowd with the woman. Then Jesus stood up again and said to the woman, “Where are your accusers? Didn’t even one of them condemn you?”

“No, Lord,” she said.

And Jesus said, “Neither do I. Remember that every person is precious in My sight and that I loved them enough to endure the Cross. Go and sin no more.”

Forgive me for taking liberties with such an amazing text. But I think it brings it home for us that I (and you) are just like that mob who dragged the woman to Jesus.

Lord Jesus,

Forgive me for my judgement of others. Forgive me for my ugly thoughts. Forgive me for my mean comments about those you love dearly.  And thank you for still loving me in spite of the ugly reality of my own sin. I fall on your grace today. Please remind me to use these gifts of communication only to edify, encourage and inspire.

Thank you for loving me. Help me to love others in the power of Your Amazing Grace.

Amen

Real and honest relationships are messy. If you take the chance to be known and get hurt it is easy to build a wall. If you take another chance and get the same result it is easy to build an impenetrable fortress around your heart. And that is tragic.

Sara Groves is a powerful lyricist with a great voice. That’s a very appealing combo plate. Her song entitled “It’s Me” is amazing. She captures the insecurities, old stories about our past and selfishness that leads to relationship meltdowns. And those moments seem to come out of nowhere.

weather came and caught us off our guard
we were just laughing and feelin’ alright
had such a great time just last night
we walked into a minefield undetected
you took a tone and I took offense
anger replacing all common sense

oh run for you life
all tenderness is gone
in the blink of an eye
all good will has withdrawn

I am sobered by the imagery of the minefield. Hidden among the beautiful flowers and lush grass are deadly relationship mines. A misstep here and you explode my insecurity. Step over there and you detonate all of those old hurts and shame from my past. Step here and you get wounded from the shrapnel of my selfishness. And all it takes is a tone or not meeting a poorly communicated need to blow up all tenderness.

God designed us to travel this journey in community. You mature as a Christian when you trust God and others with what is true about you. That means taking off the masks and shining light in the dark places. That has always been scary for me because I imagine I am uniquely sinful. That others have it more together than me. But as I have begun to trust others with me and they with me I am convinced there are no together people. C.S. Lewis made this observation. “Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, ‘What! You too? I thought I was the only one” That is what you find out over and over when you find trustworthy friends and let them know you. Really know you. You find out we are all messed up. That is why we need the daily and moment by moment grace of the Gospel.

Sara Groves writes about the sad pattern that most of us follow when we hurt or get hurt.

incomprehensible layers of isolation
now your the man with a heart of stone
making me pay here by being alone
seemingly justified righteous indignation
now I’m the woman who holds all her pain
looking for somebody else to blame

It makes me sad to hear those lyrics because I have been there so many times. My default for too many years to hurt was isolation and hiddenness. But it doesn’t have to be that way. I have read and struggled with words from Paul that says we are to love our wives as Christ loved the church. Sure. And I will then run the 100 meters like Usain Bolt. Same chance. I enjoy reading The Message especially for passages I have read dozens if not hundreds of times. It often gives me a fresh perspective. Here is that verse from The Message.

Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving,
not getting. (Ephesians 5, The Message)

A love marked by giving. Maybe that is possible. A love that extends grace that is unmerited. Just like I receive from Christ. A love that refuses to stay hidden even when that feels like the safest place to be. A love that expresses needs as a sign of strength and not weakness. My friend Bill Thrall says that the phrase “I don’t need you is the mantra of the wounded.” I do need my bride’s affirmation and love. I do need friends who know me and still love me. I do need a Savior who patiently molds me without condemnation. Yet I walk through a minefield of lies and past hurts and self-doubt every day. But that is not who I am anymore and I am trusting this truth.

This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person.
The old life is gone; a new life has begun! (2 Corinthians 5, NLT)

So when I step on a mine and get wounded I call out to Jesus. “It’s me. Your child. I need you to love me so I can love others out of your amazing love and grace.” With Christ I can summon the courage to be known by others because Jesus knows me and loves me without fail. On that foundation I can build healthy relationships.

Father’s Day is just around the corner. Some of you have told me you plan to give a copy of Stay: Lessons My Dogs Taught Me about Life, Loss, and Grace to your Dad or Grandfather. In my very biased world that is MUCH better than a tie!

I have Autograph plates ready to send out that you can place inside the book before you give it. Just send your address and how you want the plate inscribed to dave@daveburchett.com or send me a personal message with the info on Facebook. I will sign the autograph plate and return it to you. I pay the postage as my small thank you to you!

You can get Stay at Barnes and Noble, Booksamillion, Mardels and online at Amazon, Christianbook.com, and Barnes and Noble.You link to the online booksellers from the “Order Now” link at the top right of this page.

I would love to help you celebrate your Dad or Granddad this year. But hurry so you won’t miss out on this really unique gift.

Regular readers of these humble ramblings know that I love music and the power of lyrics to implant truth in my heart. The group Tenth Avenue North is especially good at doing that for me. A new song resonated from the moment I heard it. What You Want is a powerful plea to give up my personal agenda and my need to be in control. You can check it out here.  Here is a sample of the lyrics.

Everyday I’ve been feeling the pressure
I always gotta know the plan
It’s a weight that I’ve tried to shoulder

I thought I could, but I can’t
And I’m so tired of chasing dreams
When I am wired to let you lead

You’re changing my heart
To want what You want
To love what You love
And that is enough
There’s no greater plan that I need to know
You only ask me to follow

Oh I’m feelin’ this surrender

Surrender. That is such a negative concept in this culture. We need to reclaim the positive meaning of that word for followers of Jesus. For most people surrender means weakness. Giving up. Capitulation. Soldiers who surrender are hopeless and even scorned. In the upside down world of the Gospel of Grace surrender is a sign of strength. The miracle of grace is that surrender means freedom.

I feel myself come alive
And the burden feels like a feather
When I let my agenda die

Recently my buddy Ed Underwood (you should read his books and blog) texted that he had found the official anthem for Christians who try to live this journey in their own insufficient strength. I agreed so much that I asked his permission to steal his insight for today’s musing. I will not share the details of the deal but it may or may not involve a future karaoke performance at the fabulous Garman’s Restaurant and Irish Pub in Santa Paula, California. But that unfortunate possibility is not today’s topic.

Ed had texted that rock icon Janis Joplin’s song “Try (Just a Little Bit Harder)” perfectly summed up the frustration of Christians who think that just a little more effort or doing more of the right things will make them holy. It is a losing game. Joplin’s lyrics address a love interest but they fit perfectly into the frustrating cry of many followers of Jesus trying desperately to “be holy”.

Yeah, I’m gonna try yeah, just a little bit harder
So I can give, give, give, give him every bit of my soul.

I spent a lot of years alternating between trying harder, giving up, feeling guilty and trying harder again. What I got was not godliness. What I got was tired.

When I was a kid the preachers used to bellow about revival. We need REVIVAL! They preached in ALL CAPS ALL OF THE TIME! They would have week long revival meetings badgering us to sell out. We got yelled at about our sin. We heard clearly a message of condemnation and fear. We heard that we had better shape up or else! We heard stories about backslidden Christians burning in hell because they wouldn’t repent. We heard that we had better get serious about Jesus.  And we believed we would. That fear based compliance lasted for a day or two or maybe a couple of months if we really got convicted. But it didn’t last.

Then I stumbled on a different message. What if the truths of grace so beautifully detailed in the book “The Cure” are true?

What if the secret to living this journey is not trying harder but simply living out of what Jesus has already done for me?

What if revival is based not on avoidance of damnation but on having an actual relationship with God? What if Christians really understood that they are new creatures when they put their trust by faith in Jesus? What if Christians truly got that there is no condemnation for them because of the Cross? What if Christians really understood that they are no longer have to prove anything and they could instead trust God for their spiritual growth? What if Christians saw that Jesus stood beside them ready to resolve their sin instead of looking with disappointment from afar? What if Christians learned to trust God and others with who they really are and dropped the dadgum masks? (My grandfather’s favorite Christian cuss word). What if Christians had the courage to put their full weight on these truths of identity and grace and allowed God to love them and others through them? These are the truths I have learned, refined and had a chance to live with my friends at Truefaced and other assorted misfits around the country.

Here is what one tired and discouraged Christian experienced when I began to understand the message of grace. It is changing me. And I have had the best years with Jesus of my four decades plus on the journey. I have had some really good spiritual seasons along the way but I have never had the consistency of joy and peace that I have experienced since I trusted these truths of grace. I have never felt such spiritual freedom until I leaned into grace that allows me to love God, receive love from Him and allow that to flow to others.

What if Christians really trusted who God says He is? Could we change our walk with Jesus? Could we change our family? Our church? Our culture? Dare we believe this?

I have often quoted from my friends at Truefaced. This statement rocked my world many years ago.

If you are a Christian God is not interested in changing you. That has already happened. You were changed when you trusted Christ. You were imputed with His righteousness. Your very spiritual DNA was rewritten and you became a new person. So the change happened right away. God is now interested in maturing you into what is already true about you.

We are made right with God by placing our faith in Jesus Christ. And this is true for everyone who believes, no matter who we are. For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard. Yet God freely and graciously declares that we are righteous. He did this through Christ Jesus when he freed us from the penalty for our sins.  (Romans 3:22-23, NLT)

Remind yourself daily who you are. What is already true about you. That you are a new person. Righteous because of Christ. A new life has begun in you.

Live it joyfully and without condemnation. You are deeply loved by God today. Breathe that into your soul and quit trying so hard! I pray it will change your journey like it has mine.

(Read an excerpt from Stay:Lessons My Dogs Taught Me about Life, Loss, and Grace)