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(From theFish.com)

My buddy Kelly casually dropped the name of a group last summer that he thought I might look to add to the iPod rotation. The band he mentioned was the Avett Brothers and the scouting report was superb. Today a song by the group inspired this week’s iPod Devotional. It is called “The Perfect Space” and the lyrics resonated with my season of life.

I wanna’ have friends that I can trust,
that love me for the man I’ve become not the man I was.

My Truefaced friend John Lynch says it this way.

“What if there was a place where the worst of me could be known, and I would discover in the telling of it that I would be loved more, not less?”

Wouldn’t that be amazing? To have a friend that you could trust with all that is true about you and feel safe. All of us have a deep need to be known and accepted.

Real friends are a treasure. I hope I don’t insult your intelligence if I remind you it was 17th century French classical author François La Rochefoucauld that wrote, “A true friend is the most precious of all possessions and the one we take the least thought about acquiring.”

Henri Nouwen captures the heart of friendship that goes beyond backslappin’, watching football and telling bad jokes.

“When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving much advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a gentle and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares.”

That very thought is captured in the next lyric by the Avett Brothers.

I wanna have friends that will let me be
all alone when being alone is all that I need.

I wanna fit in to the perfect space,
feel natural and safe in a volatile place.

Sometimes the best way to be a friend is to just be present. And when you can trust others you learn that you are not alone in your struggle. Author C.S. Lewis once observed that “Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: “What! You too? I thought I was the only one.”

More thought provoking lyrics from the Avett Brothers.

I wanna have pride like my mother has,
And not like the kind in the Bible that turns you bad.

The Avett Brothers group features two actual brothers, Scott and Seth, along with bass player Bob Crawford, cellist Joe Kwon, and drummer Jacob Edwards. The brothers Avett were regular church goers in Mt. Pleasant, North Carolina. They heard a few sermons along the way about the danger of pride. The truth is that nothing creates an environment of trust like humility and loyalty. In that soil deep friendship grows.

And I wanna have friends that I can trust,
that love me for the man I’ve become and not the man that I was.

When you look at your friends through the lens of grace you see who they have become and, more importantly, who they can become in Christ.

I love the New Testament story of the man who was paralyzed and his friends were trying to get him in front of Jesus. They cared. When they couldn’t get in the door they cut a hole in the roof and lowered him down to Jesus. The Lord was moved by the man’s faith (and the faith of his friends) and He had mercy on him. What strikes me is how Jesus addressed the man.

He said, “Friend, your sins are forgiven you.”  (Luke 5, NASB)

Jesus still calls men friend when they simply humble themselves in faith. I used to sing “What a Friend We Have in Jesus” in my little hometown church. Jesus is indeed a friend that will never desert me. Jesus also knew that we needed earthly friends to help navigate this often difficult journey.

Satan would like nothing more than to use the hurts and difficult people in life to keep you from that “perfect space” that is in relationship with Jesus. Relationships are a risk. But we were created to be in fellowship with our Creator and one another. Anything less leaves a void.

Pray for friends. Most importantly, be a friend. You will likely be disappointed and even hurt along the way. But finding that small number of real friends is worth it. All friends are a blessing. Real friends are a treasure. I will wrap this up with a quote from one of my sentimental favorites, the movie “It’s A Wonderful Life”.

Remember, no man is a failure who has friends.

(From theFish.com)

I love Thanksgiving. I love watching the giant balloons of the Macy’s Thanksgiving parade floating through New York as wide-eyed children watch. I love the traditional football games. The official start of the Christmas season. The post feast nap. I love it all and Thanksgiving Day is here again.

Thanksgiving Song by Mary Chapin Carpenter captures the intimacy of this wonderful holiday.

Grateful for each hand we hold
Gathered round this table.
From far and near we travel home,
Blessed that we are able.

Grateful. That is a powerful word that is so easy to overlook in the tension of life and the depressing cycles of usually bad news. I have so much to be grateful for this Thanksgiving. I am grateful for another year with my best friend and bride Joni. I am grateful for three wonderful sons, two amazing daughter-in-laws and one fantastic grandchild. I am blessed that we are able to be together this Thanksgiving. I am grateful for good friends. I am grateful for the abundant blessings of this country.

Grateful for this sheltered place
With light in every window,
Saying “welcome, welcome, share this feast
Come in away from sorrow.”

Every year brings sorrow. Friends and family have suffered illness this year. Some have gone through deep trials. Some have passed away. Sorrow is a part of this journey. But there is something healing about counting blessings and feeling gratitude. Taking that time provides a sheltered place from sorrow. For me the light in the window of my soul is my trust in a God that is faithful, loving and good in blessings and in sorrow.

Grateful for what’s understood,
And all that is forgiven;

Jesus is the light that said welcome when I felt anything but welcome. He invited me to the feast that I did not deserve to attend because of His grace. Jesus said I was forgiven. How can I be anything but grateful if I understand the magnitude of that undeserved love?

We try so hard to be good,
To lead a life worth living.

I might add a little personal clarification to Carpenter’s lyric. I understand the desire to live a life of significance. I get trying to be good. I believe we have a reason for being here. But my experience with the grace of the Lord Jesus has taught me that it is not trying so hard to lead a life worth living that brings peace and joy. It is faithfully following Jesus each day. It is allowing God to love me and asking Him to help me give away that love to others. It is trusting God to provide opportunities to serve. It is believing that God is faithful even through sorrow. It is trusting that what God says about me is true. That I have been changed and I have a new identity in Christ. I am deeply loved and cherished by God. I am declared righteous because of Jesus and that righteousness has nothing to do with how hard I work to be “good”. It is because of Christ. I am so grateful for grace. So very grateful.

Paul’s words to the Colossian Church make a fitting devotional thought for this holiday.

Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful.

Let the message about Christ, in all its richness, fill your lives. Teach and counsel each other with all the wisdom he gives. Sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs to God with thankful hearts. And whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through him to God the Father. (Colossians 3:12-17, NLT)

I pray that you find much to be grateful for this holiday season.

A lot of people dear to me are going through some difficult waters right now. Some are in physical pain, some in emotional pain and some in financial pain. Sometimes even the most sold out followers of Jesus want to raise their face to the heavens and scream.

“WHY God? WHAT are you doing? HOW can you let this continue?”

A song by Josh Wilsonresonated on the daily walk and is the basis for today’s iPod Devotional. The song is called “I Fall Apart”.

Why in the world did I think I could
Only get to know you when my life was good?
When everything just falls in place
The easiest thing is to give you praise
Now it all seems upside down

I wish that wasn’t true. I wish I was mature enough to recognize God’s blessings every day and praise Him without ceasing in my normal life of comfort or when things go off course. The truth is that I have a righteous new nature housed in a decidedly unrighteous body of flesh. The conflict is constant and real. Paul talked a lot about the conflict in his letter to the Church in Rome. His words are just as relevant today.

I have discovered this principle of life—that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong. I love God’s law with all my heart. But there is another power within me that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me. Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death? Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord. So you see how it is: In my mind I really want to obey God’s law, but because of my sinful nature I am a slave to sin. (Romans 7, NLT)

Pretty depressing. That has been much of my Christian journey. I want to know Him better but on my terms. I want to trust God fully but I also want Him to answer my prayers and keep the blessings flowing freely. I want to make a difference for God but I inevitably default to safety. I feel guilty and sad. Frustrated. Unworthy. And then I read the next words from Paul.

So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. And because you belong to him, the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed you from the power of sin that leads to death. (Romans 8, NLT)

No condemnation. I have the power within me to overcome sin. Not perfectly to be sure. But I no longer have to sin. The work of Christ is complete. I am forgiven. Changed. I have a new identity. I bring nothing to the dance other than my trust and submission. That is a hard thing for an American achiever. I want to do something. I want to prove myself worthy of Christ. I cannot. I bring nothing. Only when I recognize my need to trust Him fully can I begin to know Him better. That clarity does not come out of prosperity, health, green lights and blue skies. That clarity comes most often out of darkness, deep valleys and scars.

Blessed are the ones who understand
They’ve got nothing to bring but empty hands
Nothing to hide and nothing to prove
Our heartbreak brings us back to you

Henri Nouwen wrote beautifully about the purpose and value of suffering. “We fail to see the place of suffering in the broader scheme of things. We fail to see that suffering is an inevitable dimension of life. Because we have lost perspective, we fail to see that unless one is willing to accept suffering properly, he or she is really refusing to continue in the quest for maturity. To refuse suffering is to refuse personal growth. Jesus says, “Cry over your pains, and you will discover that I’m right there in your tears, and you will be grateful for my presence in your weakness.” Ministry means to help people become grateful for life even with pain. That gratitude can send into the world precisely to the places where people are in pain. The minister, the disciple of Jesus, goes where there is pain not because he is a masochist or she is a sadist, but because God is hidden in the pain.  Henri Nouwen – The Nouwen Center

Wow. Think of your seasons of growth. I would venture that most of them came out of adversity, pain and struggle.

Maybe this is how it starts
I find you when I fall apart
I don’t know how long this will last
I’m praying for the pain to pass

But maybe this is the best thing that has ever happened to me
‘Cause my whole world is caving in

But I feel you now more than I did then
How can I come to the end of me

But somehow still have all I need?
God I want to know you more
Maybe this is how it starts

Maybe this is how it starts. Today I pray for the comfort for my suffering friends and family. I pray for healing. But I also pray that they (and I) will find God hidden in that pain. That all of us will trust a God who is trustworthy even as we agonize. I pray that we will find that His grace is sufficient. And I pray that all of us embrace the truth that brokenness and pain is how a loving Father must sometimes get our attention.

I find you when–
You will find me when–
I fall apart

This journey is not and never will be easy. But there is one promise from Jesus that I hold onto.

“Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.”

(From theFish.com)

Occasionally a song pops up in the iPod shuffle rotation that reminds me of my failed career as a disc jockey in the ‘70’s. The song is called “United We Stand” and it was recorded by a British group called the Brotherhood of Man. The message was simple.

For united we stand
Divided we fall
And if our backs should ever be against the wall
We’ll be together, together, you and I

The songwriter was talking about a love relationship but the sentiment to stand united should permeate family relationships, team relationships and especially church relationships. But we know in the latter case that is too often not true.

I have written a lot about how people in the church do considerable damage with actions and words that do not reflect Jesus. I have been frustrated by Christians who receive grace willingly and deny it to others. I see division in the body of Christ where we should see unity. It occurred to me that the church does not understand a few key principles that winning baseball teams understand. The first thing that winning teams understand is that every teammate brings strengths and weaknesses to the team. A great team celebrates the strengths of each player and works together to offset the weaknesses. I pondered this as I read about the career of Joe Gordon. In 1942 Gordon led the American League in strikeouts. He made more errors that year than any other second baseman. He hit into more double plays than anyone in the league. By dwelling on those stats we could surmise that the New York Yankees were looking for a new second baseman for the following year. But there was one mitigating factor.

Gordon won the American League Most Valuable Player for that season!

In spite of the flaws mentioned above Joe Gordon had a great season. He batted .322, fourth in the AL, with 18 homers and 103 runs batted in. Gordon teamed with Phil Rizzuto to lead the league in double plays turned defensively. In 1942 Joe Gordon was deemed to be the MVP of the league despite some obvious weaknesses in his game. Great managers and good teammates know that every player has strengths and every player has weaknesses.

And that is the lesson I was thinking about for the church. Too often we dwell on the weakness and not the gifts that God has given others. Or we acknowledge the gifts but make sure to note the weaknesses. All of us are a mix of gifts and flaws. Paul mentions spiritual gifts in his letter to the Roman church.

I long to see you so that I may impart to you some spiritual gift to make you strong— that is, that you and I may be mutually encouraged by each other’s faith.

Commentators note that the translation here might be a bit confusing. The text might sound as if Paul’s giving away spiritual gifts to the first ten callers. A better translation might be that Paul wants to use his spiritual gifts to strengthen and encourage others. I believe that every single Christian is given spiritual gifts. We are given those gifts for many reasons but two of the primary ones are to glorify God and strengthen one another. But I wonder if we sometimes look at our spiritual gifts as something that we have the right to exercise for our personal fulfillment and glory? I am sure Joe Gordon often struck out when his team needed a hit. I suspect he sometimes made an error when the pitcher threw a good pitch and should have gotten an out. But his teammates (and the rest of the league) saw his gifts. Base runners batted in and key home runs hit. A vital double play turned and great range at his position. That is what made him valuable to a winning team. His strengths were vital to the team winning. His flaws were compensated by the team working in unity toward the goal of the World Series.

Do we do that in the church? Or do we choose to focus on the flaws of others? The World Series is a wonderful goal but it pales in comparison to the goal that Jesus challenged us to pursue.  Do we understand what it means to be unified for the common goal expressed so succinctly in the Gospel of Matthew?

Therefore, go and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Teach these new disciples to obey all the commands I have given you. And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age.

That is the game plan. Each of us has been given gifts to contribute. Each of us has flaws. Can we pray that we will be mature enough to focus on Who unites us instead of what divides us? Even the MVP of the American League had shortcomings. So will the pastor, elder, committee member, and volunteer chairman as we pursue the Great Commission of Christ. Another thing that winning teams understand. You don’t have to be best friends with everyone on the team but you do have to be united for the common goal of the team. My prayer is simple.

God give us the grace to be unified as a team for your glory. Teach us to use our gifts to strengthen one another and glorify you. Give us the strength to be a good teammate and the humility to believe that it cannot be about me for the team to succeed. Give me the desire to be a good teammate in the body of Christ. Teach me to see and exalt the gifts of my brothers and sisters even if they compete with my own talents. And especially teach me to be graceful with the flaws of others. We are all gifted and we are all flawed. A team understands that truth. Help us to do the same for the sake of the body of Christ.

(Joe Gordon story excerpted from When Bad Christians Happen to Good People)