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(This is the latest iPod Devotional that appears each Monday at theFish.com)

One of my peers recently noted that “getting old is not for sissies”. Indeed. Even if you escape personal difficulties you will undoubtedly have family and friends who are going through physical, emotional and spiritual trials. One of the songs that I default to when I am walking through valleys with others is from singer/composer Rich Mullins. The song is from his CD called Songs and it is simply titled “Hold Me Jesus”.

Well, sometimes my life
Just don’t make sense at all
When the mountains look so big
And my faith just seems so small

Right now I am in a pretty good place in my life and journey with Jesus. But then I started thinking about the many friends and loved ones who could relate completely to those lyrics in their current situation. And I can certainly remember seasons of my life when those words accurately reflected the condition of my soul.

And I wake up in the night and feel the dark
It’s so hot inside my soul
I swear there must be blisters on my heart

And I remember how I used to respond. I would deduce it was my fault and I would decide that I had to do something to bolster my faith. I had to read more verses or do a study or pray more or believe more. But the answer was far more simple and the chorus by Rich Mullins nails it.

So hold me Jesus, ’cause I’m shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
Won’t You be my Prince of Peace

I need to quit flailing and trying so darn hard to be righteous. Hold me Jesus. Won’t you be my Prince of Peace? I have started praying a prayer that is simple and profound.

“God…would you love me today?”

And He does. But I remember how I used to think that I had to “do stuff” for God to earn His favor and receive His love and peace. For those of us “doers” who absolutely must do something my friend John Lynch outlines three things that God says you can do from his outstanding Romans messages.

1. Believe me and trust my life in you
2. Let me draw close to you and love you
3. Let me love others through you.

That’s it. I have made it so stinkin’ complicated and religious for so many years. When I do those 3 things I find myself humbled. I worship. Those actions cause me to submit, sin less and want to obey from my heart. Commitment comes out of gratitude and not teeth gritting compliance.

Why did I fight this amazing grace and His unconditional love. Rich Mullins nails that too.

Surrender don’t come natural to me
I’d rather fight You for something
I don’t really want
Than to take what You give that I need
And I’ve beat my head against so many walls
Now I’m falling down, I’m falling on my knees

That was me. Hanging on to the familiar malaise of self-effort instead of surrendering and accepting grace and freedom. Rich Mullins is now with the King of glory and the Prince of Peace but his ministry continues around the world and around the park today. Next time you are flailing and striving to please God why not try that little prayer.

“God…would you love me today?”

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”  (Matthew 11, The Message)

Author Anne Rice has kicked the cyber hornet’s nest with her comments about “quitting” Christianity. Anne and I don’t have a lot in common. She has millions of readers. I have tens of readers. Her books are best sellers. My second book apparently is harder to find than a popular Congressperson. But we share one big thing in common. I also thought about “quitting” the organized version of Christianity that we call church. I SERIOUSLY considered doing a home study on Sundays instead of dragging myself to the local assembly. I was convinced that Starbucks was a much more spiritual environment than a church. My spiritual crisis would not have made any headlines. Having had that personal journey through the desert I am now inclined to pray that Anne Rice will find a community of believers who will walk with her in grace and truth and not condemn her.

My friend Ed Underwood has a problem with stating his mind. He recently wrote about the Anne Rice comments in his wonderful Jesus Movement blog. First he quoted Rice’s statement.

 “My faith in Christ is central to my life. But following Christ is infinitely more important than following his followers.”

And then he timidly responded.

If you take the time to read what she actually said and you’re a devoted follower of Christ, you’ll see that she’s not giving up on Jesus. She’s tired of the opinionated, I’m against everything, shame-messaged, cloistered in the white suburbs, take me back to the fifties Leave it To Beaver-but let me keep my money and comfort version of so-called evangelical Christianity that wore me out a long time ago.

I’m too old, too tired, and too sick to keep doing stuff that doesn’t matter. I’m through with the  silliness, the meanness, the fear, and the pettiness of the religious wardens.

Come on Ed. Have an opinion for heaven’s sake!

My crisis of faith was my inability to separate Christ from Christians. Of course there are those in the church who are angry, wounded, mean, hypocritical, dishonest and fake. You may not have noticed but there is not a screening process to keep those people out. And they are pretty good at looking presentable when they come in the door. My family reunion would look a whole lot better if it was by invitation only. But when you get all of my relatives together you get some rough characters and a couple of great squirrel recipes. The body of Christ can not be anything but dysfunctional because it is a group of sinners in various stages of maturity in Christ or perhaps in no process of maturity at all.

But all I could see in my faith crisis were the hypocrites. The wounders. The gossipers. If I could have met Jesus at Starbucks I would have asked Him how he could love these jerks. I imagined it might go something like this. I am pretty sure that Jesus would order an extra shot Americano but I can’t prove that from the text.

Jesus: So I have noticed that you are struggling a bit. We don’t talk much anymore.
Me: Yeah. Your followers are making me crazy.
Jesus: Sometimes they make my heart ache too. For example, right now one of my children is missing all of the grace I want him to experience. He is missing the joy and freedom that I purchased for him. He is angry and proud and blind to his own sin. But I suffered the Cross for him. And I love him very much.
Me: (smirking) I bet he goes to my church.
Jesus: As a matter of fact he does. It’s you.

That was my epiphany. I couldn’t do it anymore. I needed Jesus. Following Christ is better than following His followers. But the truth is that I need that community as well. Trust me, I don’t need all of them. But there is a sweet spot in the chaos that is called the room of grace. In that room are people who are tired of the self-efforting path to righteousness. There are people who look at your mess and are not repulsed. In fact they grab a towel and clean up the worst of it and promise to walk with you through the rest. They love you more instead of less as you share your junk. And you find yourself being drawn more to Christ and being effused with energy by their loving acceptance. That place does exist. I pray that Anne Rice finds it. I pray that you will find it too. Finding that room of grace saved me from quitting. I am so grateful that I found it. I give Paul the last word today…

Therefore, since we have been made right in God’s sight by faith, we have peace with God because of what Jesus Christ our Lord has done for us. Because of our faith, Christ has brought us into this place of undeserved privilege where we now stand, and we confidently and joyfully look forward to sharing God’s glory. We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. (Romans 5, NLT)

I have an odd attachment to author Anne Rice. She was the subject of the very first blog that I wrote on October 24, 2005. The blog was titled “Pray for Anne Rice”. Here is that article written almost five years ago.

I had heard the rumblings. The so called “Queen of the Occult”, Anne Rice, had embraced Christianity. Newsweek is reporting (breathlessly) that  “It’s the most startling public turnaround since Bob Dylan’s “Slow Train Coming” announced that he’d been born again. “

I am old enough to remember well Dylan’s announcement in November of 1980 that he had “a truly born again experience.”  I remember the excitement that Bob Dylan was going to use his considerable influence to lead thousands to faith in Jesus. So many of us were so excited that our faith was endorsed and confirmed by a super star. Dylan loves Jesus! I felt just a little bit more cool to be a Christian because the great Dylan had joined my team. The rock and roll world was appalled. Journalist Steve Turner remembers that  “most of them (the critics) hoped the phase would be brief, for while Christianity might have saved Dylan’s soul, they believed it had damned his art. “

And then Bob Dylan disappointed me. Oh he did record some powerful songs about his faith. But he did not become what I wanted him to be. He did not become a vocal juggernaut for Christ. In fact, as time went by he rarely talked about his faith. He quit writing deep songs with lyrics proclaiming Jesus. He went underground and became evasive when asked about his conversion. And I threw him away. Because I didn’t care about Dylan as a fellow Christian and heir to the Kingdom. I cared about him as a marketing tool. He messed up my plan.

So when I heard about the very public redemption of Anne Rice I was both joyous and sad. I know millions of people will place unrealistic expectations on her. Christian magazines and programs and events will be scrambling to hear her testimony. Part of that is good. Her story of finding Jesus in the midst of illness and grief is inspiring. But every person who recognizes Jesus as Lord is an inspiring story of regeneration and grace. She is merely a fellow traveler on this journey to become more like Christ.

Pray for her.

Pray that she will grow in the grace and knowledge of the Lord Jesus Christ. Yes, celebrate her great news. But remember she is just like you and me. A person who will make mistakes and who will say and do things that offend the easily offended Evangelical crowd. Imagine having your faith life made very public. I think of my life. You would have discarded me as a phony just as I wrongly discarded Dylan when I was younger.

Anne Rice is not a celebrity that we can use for our marketing. She is a sinner saved by grace. Nothing more. Nothing less. Perhaps God will use her considerable writing skills for His glory. She will work that out between her and her God. As for the rest of us the task is simple.

Pray for Anne Rice.

That was five years ago. And I have to tell you that I was not the least bit surprised to read on Beliefnet that Rice had “quit being a Christian,” although she remains “committed to Christ.”

“I quit being a Christian. I’m out,” she wrote on her Facebook page, in sections that were confirmed by her publisher.

My position today remains exactly the same. Pray for Anne Rice.

Finally all is well at the world headquarters of the humble ramblings. The tens of readers are receiving sporadic joy and occasional wisdom delivered to their cyber mailbox once again. The server meltdown that deleted several articles (everyone is a critic) and shut us down for a few weeks is fixed. The new design is more friendly and I hope you will enjoy it more. So everything is back to normal except me.

Allow me to prove that. I get a frightening amount of spiritual fodder from the offbeat comic strip “Pearls Before Swine”. The title is taken from this admonition from Jesus in the Gospel of Matthew. The exact phrase is found in the King James Version.

Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you. (Matthew 7:6, KJV)

And if you have ever been rended you know that is not fun. The inspiration for the comic strip title comes from the cynical character Rat who believes he is smarter than everyone else. So he gets frustrated when he casts his “pearls” of wisdom before the not so smart character Pig. A recent strip featured Rat correcting the noble and thoughtful character Goat. Goat notes that “he likes a particular politician and he seems like a normal guy”. Rat quickly corrects him and notes that there are no normal people. He tells his friend to read his “Rat Maxim No. 9” which states:

There are only two kinds of people. Abnormal people and people you don’t yet know well enough.

I laughed and thought of my friend Bruce McNicol. He is a man who is very much full of grace and love yet he says a very similar thing.

“There are no together people. Just people with whiter teeth.”

His point is that we all tend to put up “appearances” that make us look better to a watching world. But we really don’t have it together. Sadly, there are few places that this performance dance is truer than in the church. That is the point that my friend Bruce and his merry men and women at Truefaced try to communicate to tired and frustrated churchgoers. No one has their act together. All of us need to trust God and others with what is true about us. We need to drop the masks and let trusted others know that we need them. There is no shame in needing community to get through this journey. We all do. If you have somehow missed my plea to read either Truefaced (read chapter one here) or Bo’s Cafe (the novel based on those truths) then I will ask you again. If you are sick and tired of being sick and tired in your faith then these books are for you. Read them. Don’t make me turn and rend you.

The following statement will make the leaders at Truefaced very proud. Bruce McNicol and the comic strip character Rat are exactly right. We are all abnormal (sinners) and none of us have it together in our own power. The part that Bruce gets a little better is the grace and redemption of Jesus. Bruce is also much better looking.

Jesus excoriated the “religious” hypocrites who were all about appearance and self-efforting righteousness.

“What sorrow awaits you teachers of religious law and you Pharisees. Hypocrites! For you are so careful to clean the outside of the cup and the dish, but inside you are filthy—full of greed and self-indulgence! You blind Pharisee! First wash the inside of the cup and the dish, and then the outside will become clean, too.”  (Matthew 23, NLT)

The anger of Christ was not that the inside was filthy but that they refused to acknowledge that truth while putting on a self-righteous display of piety. Here is what I am figuring out. I can’t clean the inside alone. I need to trust others to help me shine light in dark areas.

For once you were full of darkness, but now you have light from the Lord. So live as people of light! For this light within you produces only what is good and right and true.  (Ephesians 5, NLT)

I need to allow the Holy Spirit into every room. I need a community to encourage and walk with me. I need other believers in my life.

So here is my reality. I am abnormal. I don’t have it together. I am prone to go into hiddenness and shame. But I have Jesus. I have some really good friends who love me in spite of all of the junk that is true about me. And I have never been more alive and free as I live out my journey in grace.

(This week’s edition of the iPod Devotional from theFish.com)

I was driving along listening to the radio when a Billy Joel song came on. And my oddly functioning mind somehow conjured up Jesus picking the song and participating in karaoke at one of the many weddings that He attended. Perhaps He would have if only to further annoy the Pharisees. But past the weirdness of my thought process are a couple of things to ponder in the lyrics of the song “Just The Way You Are”.

Don’t go changing, to try and please me,
You never let me down before,

My personal belief is that one of the biggest and most damaging mistakes that the church makes with new believers is not teaching clearly and continually what happens when you put your faith in Jesus Christ as Savior and Lord. It seems that we too often get young Christians immediately into studies and activities.  We subtly (or in my own experience, not so subtly) program them to believe that growth is about doing more right things. That righteousness somehow requires busyness for Jesus. We imply that change can only happen when you are trying hard and being disciplined for God. The truth is that a complete change has already happened when you make that faith commitment to follow Jesus. Let’s just hit the highlights. Scripture tells you that you now have a new identity. You are literally a new creation. You have imputed righteousness of Christ. That is a nice theological term that simply means that God sees you as righteous because of your relationship with Jesus. That’s it. Nothing you have done or ever will do earns that righteousness. It is a gift of grace.

You are changed completely when you trust Christ. And I guess that is why I could imagine Jesus picking up the mike at the Cana Country Club and softly singing the words “don’t go changing to try and please me”.  I see Jesus putting His arm around me and explaining that I have been changed. I see Him telling me that my sins are completely forgiven. I see Him explaining to me that all of those things that used to be true about me are no longer true. That no matter what the Accuser might say those things are dead and buried at the Cross. I see Jesus telling me that I have a Comforter and source of strength. That I don’t have to grit my teeth and try harder to win favor and please Him. That sin does not have power over me anymore.  That if I trust Him and let God love me I will please Him. My faith and trust is what pleases Him according to God’s Word.

And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.  (Hebrews 11:6, NIV)

I see Jesus reminding me to simply live out of those truths and He can use me in amazing ways that He has already plotted from the beginning of time. Then He reminds me of the truth of the next lyric.

I would not leave you, in times of trouble,
We never could have come this far,
I took the good times, I’ll take the bad times,
I’ll take you just the way you are.

I am generally pretty good about remembering that God will not leave me in times of trouble. But I still have to stop and remember that Jesus will take me “just the way I am” no matter what that “way” is. I have to remind myself that I don’t have to be hidden or defensive or weird. He loves me. Just the way I am. And I love the spiritual tie-in of the next lyric.

I don’t want clever, conversation,
I never want to work that hard,
I just want someone, that I can talk to,
I want you just the way you are.

We just try too hard don’t we? We come to Jesus with awkward formalities and attempts to sound righteous in our contrition. And Jesus is simply saying “talk to Me”! Let Me love you. Live out of what is true about you. You are forgiven. Righteous. Changed. Free. A new person. Believe it. Believe in Me.

What will it take till you believe in me,
The way that I believe in you?

I am beginning to see why Jesus picked this one for karaoke night. And the final lyric really confirms the choice.

I said I love you, and that’s forever,
And this I promise from the heart,
I couldn’t love you, any better,
I love you just the way you are.

So maybe my weird brain fantasy is a little silly. But I love the imagery. Of Jesus softly singing to me and a few saints in the room. I love you forever. That’s a promise. Nothing you can do can make me love you any better. I love you just the way you are.

(The latest iPod Devotional from theFish.com. A new one is available each Monday at theFish.com)

It is summer in Texas and that means one thing. It is hot. In fact, it is so hot that…

…farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying hard-boiled eggs.

…you learn the hard way that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.

…you discover that in July, it takes only 1 finger to drive your car.

…hot water now comes out of both taps.

All of those are true because someone’s uncle checked them on Snopes. Really. Some guy told my friend that and somebody else said he was trustworthy. So forward those “facts” to everyone.

When summer hits it is always nice to be able to retreat from the heat. This summer’s escape was to Southern California to take a little sea cruise and hang out with some dear friends. And while I acknowledge that it was refreshing to drop thirty degrees from the Texas temp it was more refreshing to be with friends who are grace-misters. Yep, our friends Ed and Judy Underwood are like those giant misters you see at ballgames and amusement parks except they spray out acceptance, love and grace.

The time with them brought back memories of a song from Big Daddy Weave. The song is titled Fields of Grace and I love the imagery of the lyrics.

There’s a place that I love to run and play
There’s a place that I sing new songs of praise

Dancin’ with my Father God in fields of grace

Being with fellow believers who love you as you are and not for what they want you to be feels like running in a field of grace. Telling trusted friends everything that is true about you and being loved even more is running in a field of grace. Sharing impossible dreams without fear of ridicule is running in a field of grace. Feeling the freedom to be exactly who you are all of the time is running in a field of grace.

There’s a place where religion finally dies
There’s a place that I lose my selfish pride

Maybe that is why the time with our friends is so special. It is about Jesus and not about agenda. It is about relationship and not about religion. It is about giving and not about getting. It is about community and not about control. Those are the things that make you want to dance and run through the fields of grace.

I love my Father, my Father loves me
I dance for my Father, my Father sings over me

And nothing can take that away from me

I am sure I will soon crash from this spiritual high. I know that life and broken washing machines (currently waiting for the repair guy) and other mundane hassles will try to steal my joy. But I hope I remember the joy of running through the fields of grace with our friends. The Message puts a little different twist on the familiar words of Jesus from the tenth chapter of John.

My sheep recognize my voice. I know them, and they follow me. I give them real and eternal life. They are protected from the Destroyer for good. No one can steal them from out of my hand. The Father who put them under my care is so much greater than the Destroyer and Thief. No one could ever get them away from him.  (John 10, The Message)

So that is my focus this day. Life happens but I know this to be true. I love my Father, my Father loves me. No one can take that away from me because it is promised in God’s Word. And even in this Texas heat I can worship and run through fields of grace. Even after someone e-mails to tell me sternly that those statements above are not confirmed on Snopes.com.

Digging through some photos reminded me of a wonderful trip to Captiva Island a couple of years ago.

As I remembered the week in paradise one memory kept coming to mind. We were blessed to be on the beach when a couple of folks pulled up to a marked sea turtle nest one morning. To our surprise they began to dig into the nest. Having an inquiring mind I asked what they were doing. I learned that the eggs in this nest had hatched seventy-two hours earlier. These dedicated volunteers had marked the nest over fifty days earlier and monitored the site every day since then. Every single day! Volunteers watch over hundreds of sea turtle nests each season. When the eggs hatch the men and women dig up the nest, count the hatched eggs and also the eggs that did not hatch. An average nest contains about 120 eggs.

But what happened next amazed and inspired me. While digging deep in the nest the volunteer pulled up a struggling but very alive baby turtle. Moments later another turtle with legs flailing was brought to the surface after being buried in two feet of sand just moments earlier.

Our new friend Sam explained how this happens.

“When the eggs hatch the baby turtles climb on top of the other eggs and each other to reach the beach. These little guys missed the ‘elevator’ to the surface.”

I was amazed that they could breath for three days underground.

“They found pockets of air among the shells that kept them alive. Now we will keep them safe until tonight and then we will release them into the sea. About one of one thousand will make it to adulthood. And if they do make it they will use a natural GPS to return from the sea to this spot to lay eggs.”

In an earlier blog I wrote that I often find sacred moments in unlikely places. This was one of those moments. Later I thought about the miracle of those two little turtles surviving despite very unlikely odds.

I thought about how it related to the message I tried (so far nearly anonymously) to communicate in my second book, “Bring’em Back Alive”.

That every believer is a precious part of Christ’s body. When even one is missing, the church lacks power and is less than whole. Whether we’re victims, perpetrators, or innocent bystanders we’re called by God to seek restoration. And when one of God’s sheep goes missing we have no choice: We are called to Bring ’Em Back Alive.

That message was demonstrated admirably by the sea turtle rescuers. Part of the survival of the turtles was related to their created will to live. But for those two baby sea turtles that we witnessed survival was entirely because two people cared enough to volunteer their time to pursue them. They cared enough to dig deep into the sand with no assurance of success. They cared enough to care for the babies and then give up more of their time to return to the sea that night to release the turtles to their destiny. And I suddenly felt saddened. Sad that really cool people like Sam will do that for baby turtles and that so many followers of Jesus can’t or won’t find the time to do that for fellow believers buried deep in the hole of despair and woundedness.

I was awed by the amazing drama of nature. Touched by the goodness of many people on this earth. And challenged by the thought that someone may be gasping for spiritual air today just waiting for me to care enough to dig a bit into their story and heart to help them survive.

Someday I will enjoy paradise that will make Captiva look shabby (what a thought!). But in the meantime I pray I will have a tender spirit that will seek, rescue and restore God’s wounded lambs with the same commitment that Sam and countless others rescue those plucky baby turtles.