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I am a little too old and lot too cynical to be swept away by the latest fad in Christendom. I have sat on the sidelines while Jabez prayed, millions were purpose driven and others found their best life. I guess I was just left behind. Others were incredibly excited by one or all of these phenomenons.

So I was more than a little surprised to find that God has rocked my world through a ministry I knew little about just a few months ago. Their books and materials have not become an entire section at your local Christian superstore. And that is a shame. Because they have a message that needs to be heard by most of us.

The organization is called Leadership Catalyst and they have an incredible book called TrueFaced.  I don’t think I have ever had a book (not included in the original 66) impact me as much as this one. Here is how strongly I feel about this book and ministry. I have written two books. I have a son who attends Baylor University and I can tell you the good Baptists at Baylor are very proud of their education. So selling a few books would be awesome as spring semester tution looms. But if you only have the budget to buy one book in the near future I would tell you to buy TrueFaced. (That gives you a hint as to why I rarely am asked to do marketing seminars)

I am borrowing one little bit of content that is very timely during this month. John Lynch is one of the authors of the book and in this section he addresses how we are programmed from childhood to default to performance theology. He calls it the “Santa Clause is Coming to Town theology”.

You better watch out
Better not cry
Better not pout
I am telling you why
Santa Clause is comin’ to town
He’s making a list….checking it twice…three times…every day
Gonna find out who’s naughty and nice
Santa Clause is comin’ to town
He sees you when your sleeping, nows when your awake, he knows when you’ve been bad or good so be good for goodness sake.

Oh, he’s watching. Waiting for you to screw up so you will get coal instead of a bicycle. You had better please him. And we teach our kids to put on the mask and be something they are not. Because Santa Clause is comin’ to town. This omniscient being who is judging our every deed is coming to town…and we learn to do the dance early. Buck up…be good. Don’t cry. Don’t pout. Santa Clause is coming to town.  (©Copyright 2003, William Thrall, Bruce McNicol, John Lynch. All rights reserved. Unauthorized duplication prohibited.)

He is exactly right. We learn that we get good things and receive love only when we are good. Santa is pleased (and we later substitute God) when we obey. So we learn early. We had better be good. Or least fool everyone around us to think that we are being good.

Ask any child this Christmas if they are being good and I will wager you will never hear this response.

“Well, to be honest, I am really struggling with the whole being nice thing. I have actually been pouty and I cried yesterday. It just isn’t working out this Christmas so I suspect the video game system will have to wait.”

Nope. What you hear is the lie that we learn early and too often keep handy in our arsenal for a lifetime.

“Oh yeah. I am being really good!”

I remember (vaguely) the tension of the Santa Clause years. I knew I hadn’t really changed much. I tried to modify my behavior for a week or two leading up to Christmas but I knew I had failed to really be good. I learned a couple of things early. I learned how hard it is to change behavior by sheer willpower and I learned that I could fool Santa by living a lie. I learned that that he would bring me presents in spite of my failures. I did not learn about grace. That maybe Santa gave me gifts because of who I was and maybe he came to my house because I was lovable instead of rewarding me for what I had done to please him. I figured I had fooled him and to get the good stuff I would have to continue to hide the little boy who broke an ornament and then hid it.

Isn’t that too often how we view God? We had better not cry. Better not sin. I’m telling you why. Jesus is coming to town. He’s making a list and He is checking it not once or twice but every moment of every day. God knows if you’ve been bad or good so if you want to be healed or happy or prosperous you had better be good for goodness sake. If I do mess up I am scared to death that I will get a bad life or miss all that God has for me. So I put on the mask and try to be really good for Jesus. If I can fool those around me maybe, just maybe, I can fool God too.

Satan sells the lie so convincingly. And we buy it for months and years and even decades.

But God and Santa are very different in their approach. God does not keep a list. He is not impressed by our hernia inducing straining to control sin. What God sees is Jesus in Dave Burchett when I sin.

Jesus offers us so many gifts. But the one we seem to have the hardest time unwrapping is the gift of grace. The gift that allows us to become who God desires us to become as we simply trust Him and quit trying to be “good” for goodness sake. We are saved by grace and faith in Christ. We become like Him by the same radical strategy. Faith that He has changed us into a new creation. And understanding the grace that gives us good gifts even when we don’t deserve them.

Don’t let the Santa Clause theology live into the New Year. Go straight to the gift of grace that Jesus left under the Cross. Open it. And clothe yourself in His salvation, acceptance and love. It may be the best gift you have ever given yourself.

 

 

When I was a kid the holidays politely waited their turn in line. Thanksgiving would take the baton from Halloween and then pass it along to Christmas.  Now the Holidays clamor for attention like a spoiled child at the mall. I have been receiving Christmas catalogs for weeks and the stores were filled with Christmas displays by Halloween. By the way, you will note that I am a proud user of the term Christmas for the December 25th event that is known on the federal calendar as Christmas Day.  That was a bonus mini-rant. No charge.

Last year I wrote about what I wanted for Christmas. I started with a list of things I really, really wanted.

1. Everything at the Bose store
2. The latest version of my Trio phone  (I don’t have the Windows version for heaven’s sake!)
3. Several pounds of books
4. Dozens of DVD’s

Then I listed everything I really, really needed.

Yep. I didn’t need a single thing for Christmas. I give bags of clothing I no longer wear to charities every year. We have more stuff in our house than we can figure out how to store. My phone does, unfortunately, still receive calls. I have more books than I can read and more DVD’s than I have time to watch. I still want the stuff from the Bose store but Jesus never said this journey would be easy.

So my request to my Sons and the stunning Mrs.Burchett was a bit different. Pool the money you would have spent on me and go to the website of World Vision.  Then click on the Gift Catalog and give a gift to people who really, really do need things. There you can find a need for whatever stirs your heart, from animals to education to fresh water provision. Nothing would make me happier. Here is just a sampling from the catalog.

• For just $75 you can buy a goat for a family and provide year round milk and cheese
• How about building a fish pond stocked with tilapia to provide food and income opportunities for a village? The cost is $200.
• Like more exotic animals? Your Christmas money can provide an alpaca ($360) or a camel ($685) to a struggling family.
• For $50 you can contribute safe water to an African school or for $100 you can help dig a deep well
• Want to help out children in the United States? A gift of $25 will fill a backpack and $500 provides essentials to a needy child.
• You can contribute to rescue young girls from the sex trade industry or a little over $100 will give pre-natal care for women who have no hope of that basic need.
• Help build a health clinic or pay for eye surgery for a child that has no hope to learn without the procedure.
• Give the gift of musical education, sports, and other educational needs
• How about offering new hope to children with disabilities by giving a wheelchair or prosthetic limbs to war victims?
• Feed and care for widows and children affected by the HIV/AIDS plague in Africa.

Can you read that list and not feel just a little sheepish (not the type available for $105) about our lack of sacrificial giving as Christians in this country? Here is some research from a very annoying and convicting organization called empty tomb, inc. They are also a very important ministry that God has raised up to be a Nathan to our comfortable and consumer Christianity. Here is how America spends some of it’s resources.

In 2003 American consumers spent $53.6 billion buying jewelry and watches, a 5.1% increase over previous year.
U.S. Consumers spent more than $24.3 billion on candy (2002) and, on average, consumers made $84.34 worth of candy purchases.
We spent $64 billion on soft drinks in 2003. In 2000 Americans spent $13 billion a year on chocolate in all its forms (I know…it just got personal for many of you).
In 2000 American toy sales reached $23 billion.
How about $38 billion spent on state lotteries? 
Americans spend 600 million on teeth whitening each year.
We  spend over 300 million on Botox to reduce the appearance of wrinkles.

God help us to see the world with His heart. The good news? We can make a real difference. And the time to start is now. Again, according to empty tomb, inc we have the potential to literally change the world in the name of Jesus. Here is the analysis of the empty tomb organization.

As described in our research, church member giving is declining as a portion of income, and is currently around 2.59%. 

If Americans who identify with the historically Christian church increased their giving to an average of 10% of income, there could be an additional $156 billion given to the church. If 60% of this amount were made available to expand overseas missions activity, that number would mean an additional $94 billion available for overseas missions.

One source estimates that $70-$80 billion would impact the worst of world poverty and $5 billion could end most of the 11 million under-5, global, annual child deaths. Also, $7 billion would be sufficient for global primary education for all children.

You should be aware, that there could also be $31.22 billion more a year for domestic outreach. And this all on top of our current church activates. 

In the gospel of Matthew Jesus talks about the final judgment.

“Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the Kingdom prepared for you from the creation of the world. For I was hungry, and you fed me. I was thirsty, and you gave me a drink. I was a stranger, and you invited me into your home. I was naked, and you gave me clothing. I was sick, and you cared for me. I was in prison, and you visited me.’

 “Then these righteous ones will reply, ‘Lord, when did we ever see you hungry and feed you? Or thirsty and give you something to drink? Or a stranger and show you hospitality? Or naked and give you clothing?  When did we ever see you sick or in prison and visit you?’

  “And the King will say, ‘I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!’

It takes so little sacrifice to make a difference. But it will take the whole body of Christ to really impact this globe. A few years ago I gave up a daily beverage at an omnipresent coffee franchise. That freed up enough money to sponsor a little girl in Guatemala. In response to my request my sons and wife made me the happy recipient of a goat and a pig that went to families in need somewhere. I will not know this side of eternity how God used my Christmas gift. But I bet it was more useful than the motorized cooler that goes 14 miles per hour to deliver cold beverages to somewhere for some reason. Are you kidding me?

I often encounter people who say God is judging America because of this sin or that sin. I always tell them I don’t know if that is true. But I do tell them that I suspect that God would more likely judge this country because of the incredible wealth and influence His people have squandered. You can make a difference this Christmas. One coat or goat or can of beans at a time.

Merry Christmas!

P.S. World Vision is just one of many Christian charities that receive a top rating from independent ranking companies. You may have your own favorite. Would you pray about doing something this Christmas? Who knows what good you can do by giving up something you don’t really need.

For weeks I have been watching the work crews building a fiber-optic network in our neighborhood. I could not wait to get rid of my cable service. I won’t mention the company by name but it rhymes with Dime Corner. I was so excited to switch to the new technology. I was giddy when the installer showed up yesterday. I told him that I would be happy to allow his company to videotape me telling my current provider to take a flying leap. His response was professional.

And convicting.

“We don’t say bad things about our competitors. We just tell you about our product and let you decide.”

This was not an aberration. I recalled a similar exchange I had with another employee when I set up my installation. I was joking again about doing a commercial about getting rid of cable and she replied gently.

“We don’t criticize our competition.”

Two things hit me. First was how professional these employees were when I teed it up for them to bash their competition. They didn’t even think about swinging the club of criticism. Kudos to Verizon and their management. The new technology is called FIOS and I am delighted with the results of that installation. The only bad thing is that the HD signal is so spectacular that I just watched Meerkats for an hour when I had other things I needed to do. But that is my problem.

The second thing that hit me is that I could learn from the responses of these professionals. When I have a chance to bash other denominations, churches and leaders perhaps I should simply say I don’t criticize others. I just want to tell you about Jesus and His grace. I want to tell you about my Savior. I want to tell you about love that is unconditional.

If I represent Jesus and His message well then I won’t have to bash. Genuine seekers of truth will figure out the difference on their own. I am not saying that I will never challenge or even criticize another ministry or leader. I am saying that such conversation needs to be in an appropriate forum and presented in grace and truth. I want to steer away from the cheap and easy bashing that comes so naturally to me.

Paul’s words to Timothy are timely.

Again I say, don’t get involved in foolish, ignorant arguments that only start fights. A servant of the Lord must not quarrel but must be kind to everyone, be able to teach, and be patient with difficult people. Gently instruct those who oppose the truth. Perhaps God will change those people’s hearts, and they will learn the truth.  (2 Timothy 2, NLT)

So I was blessed yesterday with eye-popping HD signals and a little loving correction from the Lord. Gotta go now. They are imploding buildings in HD with surround sound. Awesome!!!!

 

 

 

I have a new business idea. When faith gets challenged or offended by a movie, book, television show or stupid celebrity quote I am going to sell an evangelistic hyperventilation bag. This paper bag, featuring stylish cross artwork on one side and a fish insignia on the other, will allow beleaguered Christians to witness as they hyperventilate over the latest dire e-mail warning to boycott, plunder and protest.

The most recent threat to faith and, according to some distraught sources, God’s sovereign plan on earth is an upcoming movie called The Golden Compass. I recall that God and His people have somehow weathered other recent crises like The DaVinci Code, The Book of Daniel TV show, Madonna’s stage presentation, the Lost Tomb of Jesus and a veritable parade of books by atheists who could use the non-religious version of my hyperventilation bag when discussing God.

Yet somehow, the God that I believe created the heavens and earth has survived the punches of Hollywood, television and print. What a surprise. In fact it appears that they have not made a dent in His plan. May I suggest to you that this has been going on since the creation. My position on such issues is based on the game plan that the Apostle Paul outlined in the book of Acts. Yes, he was angry that Athens was full of idols and false gods. But he chose not to organize noisy protests or a boycott of the tourist attractions in Greece. His plan was simple.

• Be aware
• Be informed
• Be faithful

Anytime we have a chance to engage others in a discussion about authentic faith, Jesus and grace in the natural flow of culture I think it is an open door. This movie is another treasure chest of opportunities to discuss faith in real life. Paul is the working model of engaging a culture that is often less than sympathetic. Paul went fearlessly to the intellectual epicenter of his day.

The longer Paul waited in Athens for Silas and Timothy, the angrier he got–all those idols! The city was a junkyard of idols. He discussed it with the Jews and other like-minded people at their meeting place. And every day he went out on the streets and talked with anyone who happened along. He got to know some of the Epicurean and Stoic intellectuals pretty well through these conversations. Some of them dismissed him with sarcasm: “What an airhead!” But others, listening to him go on about Jesus and the resurrection, were intrigued: “That’s a new slant on the gods. Tell us more.”

These people got together and asked him to make a public presentation over at the Areopagus, where things were a little quieter. They said, “This is a new one on us. We’ve never heard anything quite like it. Where did you come up with this anyway? Explain it so we can understand.” Downtown Athens was a great place for gossip. There were always people hanging around, natives and tourists alike, waiting for the latest tidbit on most anything. So Paul took his stand in the open space at the Areopagus and laid it out for them. “It is plain to see that you Athenians take your religion seriously. When I arrived here the other day, I was fascinated with all the shrines I came across. And then I found one inscribed, TO THE GOD NOBODY KNOWS. I’m here to introduce you to this God so you can worship intelligently, know who you’re dealing with. (The Message – Acts 17)

Paul was aware of the opposition to his faith and to the God he believed in. He was informed about the philosophies of those who opposed his faith. He engaged them in intelligent and probably spirited debate. The book of Acts honestly records the results.

 Some laughed at him and walked off making jokes; others said, “Let’s do this again. We want to hear more.” But that was it for the day, and Paul left. There were still others, it turned out, who were convinced then and there, and stuck with Paul–among them Dionysius the Areopagite and a woman named Damaris.

Maybe that is why we are often more comfortable decrying the culture instead of engaging it. Most of us don’t like being labeled as airheads (The Message) or as a babbler (NIV).  I certainly don’t enjoy the very real fact that some will laugh at me and walk off making jokes. But perhaps some will want to hear more. And the reason for taking the chance is that some will be convinced. How do I know that such a strategy works? I have been able to introduce my faith naturally while discussing every one of the perceived threats listed above (DaVinci Code, Lost Tomb of Jesus, et al). The door opened naturally because of the culture. Isn’t it amazing what God can use for His purpose if we will just let Him?

 

 

Truth can be so annoying. If annoying truth was a Jeopardy category it might look like this…

“I’ll take Annoying Truths for $100, Alex.”
This famous preacher said,  “Give me five minutes with a person’s checkbook, and I will tell you where their heart is.”
“Who is Billy Graham? I’ll take Annoying Truths for $200, Alex.”
This missionary to India said, “You can give without loving. But you cannot love without giving.”
“Who was Amy Carmichael, Alex. I am getting very uncomfortable with this topic so let’s take “Sins that make you worse than me for $100.”

Money is an uncomfortable topic for followers of Jesus. One anonymous writer noted that a lot of people are willing to give God the credit, but not too many are willing to give Him the cash.

Twenty-seven years ago a man in Kansas City made a choice to give away the cash. It was a choice that changed his life and the lives of thousands more. The Associated Press reported that for the next 27 years, a man known only as Secret Santa roamed the streets every December quietly giving people money. He started with $5 and $10 bills. As his fortune grew, so did the gifts. In recent years, Secret Santa handed out $100 bills, sometimes two or three at a time, to people in thrift stores, diners and parking lots. He anonymously gave out about $1.3 million. It was a long-held holiday mystery: Who is the Secret Santa? Last Christmas, weakened from chemotherapy and armed with a desire to pass on his belief in random kindness, Secret Santa decided it was time to reveal his identity.

Larry Stewart, a 58-year-old businessman from the Kansas City suburb of Lee’s Summit, Mo., made his millions in cable television and long-distance telephone service. While Stewart also gave money to other community causes in Kansas City and his home town of Bruce, Miss., he offered the simple gifts of cash because it’s something people didn’t have to “beg for, get in line for, or apply for.”

His epiphany happened just before Christmas in 1979. His circumstances were dire. For the second year in a row he had been fired just days before Christmas. He admits that he was wallowing in self-pity when he learned that giving returned an inexplicable joy. That simple discovery changed him, the entire city of Kansas City, and beyond. Let’s pick up the story as Stewart was nursing his wounds at a drive-in restaurant after getting fired once again. He describes that December day in his own words.

“It was cold and this car hop didn’t have on a very big jacket, and I thought to myself, `I think I got it bad. She’s out there in this cold making nickels and dimes,”‘ he said. He gave her $20 and told her to keep the change. “And suddenly I saw her lips begin to tremble and tears begin to flow down her cheeks. She said, `Sir, you have no idea what this means to me.”‘

Larry Stewart was deeply touched. He decided to go to the bank that day and took out $200, then drove around looking for people who could use a lift. That was his “Christmas present to himself.”  He hit the streets each December every year after that Christmas. Last January Larry Stewart died died from complications caused by esophageal cancer. He was only fifty-eight years old.

Even after his passing his mission lives on. Stewart spoke often to community groups about his devotion to kindness and to inspire others to donate their time and money. “That’s what we’re here for,” Stewart says, “to help other people out.”

Larry Stewart learned the reality of money and possessions that was eloquently expressed by author Thomas Fuller. “Riches enlarge rather than satisfy appetites.” 

As a follower of Christ I think Stewart has it half right when he notes that we are here to help other people out. The religious scholars asked Jesus what a purpose driven life should look like.

“Teacher, which command in God’s Law is the most important?” 
Jesus said, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your passion and prayer and intelligence.’ This is the most important, the first on any list. But there is a second to set alongside it: ‘Love others as well as you love yourself.’ These two commands are pegs; everything in God’s Law and the Prophets hangs from them.”   (Matthew 22, The Message)

During this Christmas season I am challenging you to join me in trying Larry Stewart’s experiment. Go buy yourself a gadget or outfit or bauble. Note the reading on your personal joy meter. Then go give money to a desperate Mom trying to make ends meet. Or give some cash to an elderly couple who can’t pay the heating bill. Deliver a Christmas gift to children who would not receive gifts any other way. Then see which action has given you real joy. Was it acquiring more stuff or meeting real needs in the lives of others? Larry Stewart learned that lesson. And the world is a better place because of the revelation he experienced on a cold December day twenty-seven years ago.

Pray about what you can give this Christmas. Remember that Larry Stewart started small. I pray that you will receive the kind of joy that drove the Kansas City “Secret Santa” for twenty-seven years. The chance to witness the surprised joy of a person receiving an unexpected and much needed gift. Kind of like salvation, isn’t it? That is the gift that Jesus brought to Bethlehem two millenia ago. And that is another gift we should be eager to share this season.

Last year I wrote this post about eight months into Joni’s breast cancer journey. As Thanksgiving looms I thought it might be worth a revisit. We feel so blessed for every day together.

Ronald Reagan had a favorite joke that he told so often that the joke itself became a joke with staff members. A CBS News piece related the story as remembered by former Reagan aide Ed Meese. The joke was told about twin boys who were six years old. Worried that the boys had developed extreme personalities — one was a total pessimist, the other a total optimist — their parents took them to a psychiatrist.

First the psychiatrist treated the pessimist. Trying to brighten his outlook, the psychiatrist took him to a room piled to the ceiling with brand-new toys. But instead of yelping with delight, the little boy burst into tears. “What’s the matter?” the psychiatrist asked, baffled. “Don’t you want to play with any of the toys?” “Yes,” the little boy bawled, “but if I did I’d only break them.”

Next the psychiatrist treated the optimist. Trying to dampen his out look, the psychiatrist took him to a room piled to the ceiling with horse manure. But instead of wrinkling his nose in disgust, the optimist emitted just the yelp of delight the psychiatrist had been hoping to hear from his brother, the pessimist. Then he clambered to the top of the pile, dropped to his knees, and began gleefully digging out scoop after scoop with his bare hands. “What do you think you’re doing?” the psychiatrist asked, just as baffled by the optimist as he had been by the pessimist. “With all this manure,” the little boy replied, beaming, “there must be a pony in here somewhere!”

“Reagan told the joke so often,” Meese said, chuckling, “that it got to be kind of a joke with the rest of us. Whenever something would go wrong, somebody on the staff would be sure to say, “There must be a pony in here somewhere.’”

This may seem like an odd lead in to a Thanksgiving article but regular readers know that odd linkings are part of my brain function. On this Thanksgiving Joni and I could choose to be the pessimist in the joke. This has been a tough year. Joni has been in the middle of her breast cancer treatment for eight very long months. Her prognosis is good but we know it is never certain. So we could choose to wonder why this has happened to us.

Forgive me if this is a bit crude but I can tell that when you start digging through the crap of life on a fallen earth you will often find the pony. We have found so many blessings in the midst of the storm. This is just a partial list of the blessings we are grateful to God for on this special day of Thanksgiving.

• Experiencing the peace that is inexplicable. How can we find peace in the middle of a battle with cancer? It is only through the comfort of the Holy Spirit. Paul talks about this in his letter to the Church at Philippi.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

• The friends who have been there with us throughout this trial.
• The countless “strangers” who are praying for us. Many are praying for Joni because of this blog. Others through prayer lists around the country. What an amazing blessing to realize that people who don’t even know us are praying for us.
• The privilege of glorifying God through this trial. When I first told our Sons about their Mom’s diagnosis I told each of them the same thing. “If our faith in Christ doesn’t work now it is not of much value”. It has worked. And it is of great value.
• The realization that we can get through anything with Christ.
• A changed perspective on life’s little irritants. Joni’s cancer has changed how I view my world. My biggest concern is that I will forget when the treatments end and the tests are good. In the words of the Apostle Paul…God forbid.
• An even deeper appreciation for my bride. Her courage and faith have been inspiring…and humbling.
• Priorities…priorities…priorities. I want my life to count for eternity. Every day is a precious gift and not to be taken for granted.

As you face this Thanksgiving you may be looking at circumstances that may make it hard to be thankful. I understand that it can be hard at times. But I also know the value of continuing to dig through the pile. More often than I would have ever dreamed there is a “pony” in there somewhere. Don’t miss a blessing this Thanksgiving.

We know that God, who raised the Lord Jesus, will also raise us with Jesus and present us to himself together with you. All of this is for your benefit. And as God’s grace reaches more and more people, there will be great thanksgiving, and God will receive more and more glory.

 That is why we never give up. Though our bodies are dying, our spirits are being renewed every day.

I pray on this Thanksgiving that you will never give up. And never quit digging for the blessings that are hidden. They are the greatest treasures to find.

 

 

There is nothing more self-affirming than a good round of feeling stupid. Jeopardy usually fulfills that need for me.

“I’ll take categories I don’t have a clue about for $50, Alex.”

Today I picked up the Metro section of the local paper and saw a little feature called “Good Kid”. Every week they highlight (not surprisingly) a good kid from the community and ask them about their likes, hobbies, etc. Today the good kid was a young man from Rowlett, Texas named Marcus Pyle. He is a good looking young man and obviously gifted. His favorite subject is epistemology. Not that any of my regular readers don’t know this, but epistemology is the theory of knowledge. My favorite subject was wood shop and I still plan to finish that end table. Marcus’s resume at seventeen is better than my current one. But what made me feel stupid was his answer to this statement.

The people I’d most like to meet are: Jacqueline du Pré and Dmitri Shostakovich

Uhhhhhhh. These are the two people he would most like to meet in the world and I have any idea who they are. At seventeen I would have said I would have most liked to meet Raquel Welch (based on her poster from One Million B.C.) and The Monkees from TV. What an intellectual fest that would have been.

If you are feeling as stupid as me then I will help you out. Jacqueline du Pré was generally acknowledged as one of the greatest cellist performers ever. Dmitri Shostakovich was a Soviet composer. Both are now dead. At least my people were alive.

So I was feeling a little intimidated by young Mr. Pyle when I came across a story that made me realize that my lack of intellectual depth, like everything that happens to you in this country, was not my fault. According to a new study released by a group of scholars with not enough to do, your name can determine your academic prowess. USA Today reported the breakthrough study.

Psychologists in marketing at Yale and the University of California, San Diego studying the unconscious influence of names say a preference for our own names and initials — the “name-letter effect” — can have some negative consequences.

Students whose names begin with C or D get lower grades than those whose names begin with A or B; major league baseball players whose first or last names began with K (the strikeout-signifying letter) are significantly more likely to strike out, according to the report published in the December issue of Psychological Science.

“We found that our own-name liking sabotages success for people whose initials match negative performance labels,” the report says.

Ah-hah! Because my name starts with a “D” I never had a chance to be a great student. I was predisposed to get poor grades. If my parents had named me Albert I would be doing the meaningless studies at Yale today.

Assistant professors Leif Nelson of UCSD and Joseph Simmons of Yale conducted five studies over five years (including one lab experiment) using information from thousands of individuals: 6,398 baseball players (377 had K as either a first or last initial); 15,000 MBA students; 294 undergraduate students; 170 law schools with more than 390,000 lawyers; and 284 participants in their laboratory experiment.

The twist, Pelham says, is that he has believed the name-letter effect would apply only to positive outcomes. Nelson and Simmons, he says, are “showing it applies more so to negative things than positive things.” 

So there you have it. It was not my fault that my initial showed up on my report card several times during an uninspired high school career. My name conspired against me. But I have added a pretty cool title to beef up my resume concerns that I mentioned earlier.

Dave Burchett – Child of God. 

And it doesn’t matter what your given name happens to be. You can have the same designation.

Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God— children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband’s will, but born of God.  (John 1, NIV)

Child of God. I have to admit it. I like the ring of that name.