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Regular readers of these humble ramblings remember a daring effort called the iPod devotional series. It was daring because I would hit the random shuffle feature and write about whatever song came up in the sequence. Because of my weird music tastes the concept was fraught with potential peril. My marginal integrity was challenged when a song by Toby Keith appeared on the screen but I gave it a shot. Other events and ADD diverted me from the series but I have decided to return with one difference. I am picking the song at least part of the time. Today is author’s choice and the song is called Watching You by country singer Rodney Atkins. The song is reminiscent of a very poignant song by the late Harry Chapin called Cat’s in the Cradle. That song piled guilt on a lot of Dad’s in the 80’s, myself included.

Atkin’s song recalls his shock when his little boy drops a mild expletive after spilling his drink. The horrified Dad demands to know where he heard such language.

He said, I’ve been watching you, dad ain’t that cool?
I’m your buckaroo, I want to be like you.
Yeah, we’re just alike, hey, ain’t we dad
I want to do everything you do.
So I’ve been watching you.

The incident may be humorous but the principle is sobering. Our children learn far more from watching their parents than from listening to them. This little boy demonstrates that if they do listen it will usually be at the wrong time!

The song goes on to detail a great response to his son’s revelation that he picked up that language from someone very close to him.

We got back home and I went to the barn
I bowed my head and I prayed real hard
Said, “Lord, please help me help my stupid self.”
Just this side of bedtime later that night
Turnin’ on my son’s Scooby-doo nightlight.
He crawled out of bed and he got down on his knees.
He closed his little eyes, folded his little hands
Spoke to God like he was talkin’ to a friend.
And I said, “Son, now where’d you learn to pray like that?”

The answer is obvious. He was watching Dad as he had earlier bowed in repentance before the Lord. It took me awhile to figure out that my sons were watching even when they appeared disinterested or even distant. Thanks to a wonderful Mom and a lot of grace we have been blessed with three awesome sons. I have asked them to tell me what I did right and I also asked what I could have done better. Their answers were instructive. First, some positive things that our sons noted.

• We picked our battles carefully. Middle Son Scott told us that when we were passionate about an issue he knew it was important to us. We extended grace on most issues. For example, my wife graciously allowed the boy’s rooms to be a bit less tidy than she would have preferred. She knew that was not a battle worth fighting. She simply closed the door to their rooms and prayed for patience and for no rodents to nest.
• We prepared them to leave. Children are a gift that are entrusted to us for eighteen years or so. It is our job to prepare them to be independent and functional adults.
• We tried to model our faith during trials. When our daughter was born with a terminal birth defect we determined that our response would reflect how faith relates to life and especially to hard times.
• We learned to say “I was wrong” and “I am sorry”. Parents must model that for their children.
• We carefully monitored friends.
• We tried to adapt to their unique design and not try to force them into our personal dreams.
• We attempted to innoculate them to sin. An innoculation is a controlled exposure to disease that builds up immunity to that malady. We felt that sheltering our sons from the world would not prepare them to live successfully in it.

But nothing is more important than simply living what you are saying. They are watching. They start out wanting to be just like us. For new parents and future parents there is no more important lesson than recognizing how carefully your children are watching you.

If your kids are grown or nearly grown let me offer a word of encouragement. I did a few things right but I also did some things very poorly. All three sons wished I had worked less and been home more. So do I. But love really does cover a multitude of sins. They have forgiven me for being absent too often. I hope they will learn from my mistakes as they begin families. If you feel you need to reconcile with your kids I would encourage you to do that today. Grace is amazing and redemption is always possible in Jesus.

Paul addressed the church at Thessalonica. He was trying to describe how he attempted to communicate with the believers there. It is instructive that Paul chose the example of parents twice.

As apostles of Christ we could have been a burden to you, but we were gentle among you, like a mother caring for her little children. We loved you so much that we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well, because you had become so dear to us.

Later Paul makes this comparison.

For you know that we dealt with each of you as a father deals with his own children…

And how does Paul describe those dealings? He says that they communicated like a father that is “encouraging, comforting and urging you to live lives worthy of God, who calls you into his kingdom and glory”.

That is a pretty good roadmap for a father to follow. Be encouraging. Comfort your child. And urge them to live lives worthy of God. There is no fooling them because they are watching. Always.

 

 

 

Yesterday I posted a rather fanciful look at how “man’s best friend” could teach Christians a lot about evangelism. I was heartened and bit surprised at the level of response to that article (Canine School of Evangelism). Apparently there are a lot of dog lovers embedded into the Evangelical community and that gives me hope for the church!

The star of the most recent post featured our rescued lab/mix Hannah.

This is not a posed photo. At any given time Hannah will come waltzing up with the three tennis balls in her big mouth and download them one by one onto your lap to play catch.

But the star canine of my two books was the late, great Charlie. Our beloved Golden Retriever died a couple of years ago at the ripe old canine age of 14.

This excerpt from “Bring’em Back Alive” documents an experience I had with our senior dog citizen Charlie. It was one more example of the spiritual lessons we can learn from our faithful canine friends and it gave me a little hint of how our relationship with Jesus should work. 

The spiritual epiphany from my Golden Retriever came when Charlie suffered a health crisis. He developed a large tumor under his front leg that made walking difficult. We took him in for what would be a rather serious surgery at his ripe old canine age of twelve. The vet did a masterful job in removing the growth and taking care of Charlie. We were called to the animal hospital to pick him up. We waited as they brought Charlie out. He shuffled slowly out and I was taken aback by his appearance. Charlie was trembling, frightened and appeared to be in some pain. His head was down and his perpetual motion tail was strangely still. He seemed confused and disoriented. Then I walked over to Charlie and simply touched him. Almost immediately he quit trembling and he made a valiant attempt to wag his tail. We carefully got him into the car and took Charlie home to heal.

As I reflected on that scene it struck me that Charlie’s reaction to my touch and mere presence was a wonderful illustration of how Jesus comforts (or desires to comfort) me. When I (his master) touched Charlie he was comforted. His pain was not gone. He was still frightened. He was still a bit disoriented and unsure. Charlie’s circumstances hadn’t really changed at all. But he knew that his master was there and that made it better. What a picture that is of how the touch of Jesus enables us to respond when we are frightened, in pain, disoriented and confused. We need to remind ourselves that Jesus never promised that all trouble would vanish when we believe in Him. Jesus did promise that He would be there and that would be enough. But the tough question arises…do we truly believe that? Joni and I have had to make a choice about whether we believed that or not in the past year as we embarked on her cancer journey.

Recently we were discussing the anniversary of a very challenging year. We had been thinking the same thing that day. How did we get through this year? I have had numerous people say to me that they could not have handled the cancer as well as Joni and I have dealt with it. My answer is simple. Yes you could. We would have said the same thing before her diagnosis. But the strength is there to get through the trial. You have to access Jesus everyday. Joni did that faithfully. No matter what her circumstance she knew the Master was with her. She expected His touch and she endured her circumstances.

My prayer for myself and for you today is that we will seek, realize, and be comforted by the touch of the Master in times of difficulty. Paul realized that contentment is not found in good circumstances. He wrote these words from prison while chained to a Roman soldier.

I rejoice greatly in the Lord that at last you have renewed your concern for me. Indeed, you have been concerned, but you had no opportunity to show it. I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.

I am so grateful that Paul did not write I “am” content and I “know” the secret even though those words would have been true. He was divinely inspired to honestly write that he had “learned” to be content and he had “learned” the secret of being content. It did come naturally or easily to Paul either. Don’t be discouraged. If you are following Jesus and seeking the touch of the Master then you are learning as well. Contentment is learning how to be present in the present with Jesus. Our nature is to not enjoy the moment at hand and the blessings that usually surround us. Satan would have us living in regret of the past and fear of the future. Jesus said to follow Him. He told us our past is forgiven and our future is in His Hands. Enjoy the moment. Seek the touch of the Master. And continue “learning” to be content. It will change your life.

There are few things more pathetic than a middle-aged Dad trying to be hip. I usually do it to fulfill my contractual obligation to embarrass my sons. But I could not resist the title for this piece. For those not as hip as me (both of you), “dog” is used to address a good friend of the human variety. However, this article features the old school usage for dog…as in canine.

A flurry of studies have crossed my path recently about the benefits of owning a dog. Writer Elizabeth Scott from about.com compiled some recent studies about the benefits of having a dog around. Here are some highlights.

• Pets Control Blood Pressure Better Than Drugs: Yes, it’s true. While ACE inhibiting drugs can generally reduce blood pressure, they aren’t as effective on controlling spikes in blood pressure due to stress and tension. However, in a study, groups of hypertensive New York stockbrokers who got dogs were found to have lower blood pressure and heart rates than those who didn’t get pets. 
• Pets Stave Off Loneliness and Provide Unconditional Love: Pets can be there for you in ways that people can’t. They can offer love and companionship, and can also enjoy comfortable silences, keep secrets and are excellent snugglers. And they could be the best antidote to loneliness. In fact, research shows that nursing home residents reported less loneliness when visited by dogs than when they spent time with other people! 
• Pets Can Reduce Stress—Sometimes More Than People: While we all know the power of talking about your problems with a good friend who’s also a good listener, recent research shows that spending time with a pet may be even better! Recent research shows that, when conducting a task that’s stressful, people actually experienced less stress when their pets were with them than when a supportive friend or even their spouse was present! 

This research made me realize that I was ahead of the curve in my proposal to start the Canine School of Evangelism several months ago. Think about it. If Christians could learn dog techniques (exempting the sniffing part) to express our beliefs we could probably ignite a revival. Canine instructors would be housed in the Fellowship of Evangelical Teachers Canine Hall (FETCH).

The CSE (Canine School of Evangelism) curriculum would include a catalog of courses like these. This is a suggested course load from that earlier post with a sample quote and verse.

1) Introduction to Unconditional Love – A core course designed to teach Christians how to emulate the unconditional love of a faithful dog. What a great feeling to come in from a lousy day to the quivering adulation of our adopted Labrador/God only knows what else dog named Hannah.  If we could even approach that level of unconditional love as followers of Christ we couldn’t find enough seats in our sanctuaries for the crowds. Syllabus quote: “No matter what you have done a friendly dog will approach you with joy and trust. A dog does not keep score of good deeds versus bad. We give dogs time we can spare, space we can spare and love we can spare. And in return, dogs give us their all. It’s the best deal man has ever made.” (M. Acklam)

Course verse: Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  I Cor 13, NIV

2) Grace 101 – Our canines will teach how to love others wherever they are in their journey and without judgment. How many people would be restored if they had experienced such grace? Dogs don’t care what you did ten years ago, ten days ago, or ten minutes ago. They just know that you are here with them right now. Syllabus quote: He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader.  He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion. (Author Unknown) 

Course verses: “we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand…Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5, NIV

3) Unselfishness Lab with an Actual Lab –  Is there any more unselfish creature on the planet than a dog? Our dog Hannah can be denied time after time to play or take a walk. No grudges. No change in how she feels about me. And when you finally get around to her she looks at me like I am the coolest guy on the planet. Syllabus quote: “A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.” (Josh Billings)

Course Verse: So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. Do not cause anyone to stumble, whether Jews, Greeks or the church of God— even as I try to please everybody in every way. For I am not seeking my own good but the good of many, so that they may be saved.  I Cor 10, NIV

4) Integrity in Comptemporary Culture –  Do you really think a dog would betray you? Syllabus quote: The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue (Author Unknown)

Course Verses: gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret.  Prov 11:13, NIV

5) Practical Advanced Gratitude –  I think any creature that is grateful for the same dog food every single night is qualified to teach us (What? Same old manna?) about having a grateful attitude. Syllabus quote: If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man. (Mark Twain)

Course verse: Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.  Col 3, NIV

6) Beginning Empathy – Our dog Hannah has an amazing calming effect on me. I call her “furry Prozac” for her ability to soothe my frayed nerves. Syllabus quote:One reason a dog can be such a comfort when you’re feeling blue is that he doesn’t try to find out why.  (Author Unknown) 

Course Verse:  LORD is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and rich in love. Psalm 145:8  NIV

7) Essential Joy for Living –  My dog is the canine Will Rogers. She has never met a man (or woman or child) she didn’t like. Wouldn’t it be nice if the body of Christ at least took a shot at that? Syllabus quote: Dogs laugh, but they laugh with their tails.  (Max Eastman)

Course verse: May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 13, NIV

There you have the basic curriculum for my new Canine School of Evangelism. As I go for my Dog-torate of Ministry degree I can tell you that I have one goal before I graduate. And that is to be as good of a person as my dog already thinks I am.

 

 

April 15^th is not my favorite day of the year. Traditional tax day is never fun for a guy who is organizationally challenged. My idea of being prepared is having everything in one box. But I was heartened to find that April 15^th is a great day for baseball fans. 

Jackie Robinson made his major league debut at first base for the Brooklyn Dodgers on that date in 1947. It was a historic and significant day for baseball but maybe more so for our country. You can argue that the American civil rights movement was ignited when Robinson came to bat in Dodger Blue. The journey for Robinson was difficult at best and nearly impossible at worst. 

Many Dodgers players, mostly Southerners led by Dixie Walker, threatened to walk if forced to play with a black player. That ended when Dodger management let them know in no uncertain terms that they could keep walking to the unemployment line. I often write about the pain that is caused by “bad” or thoughtless Christians. Can you imagine the pain that Robinson felt to have his teammates reject him for only one reason?  

But one teammate reacted in a way that I wish all serious and thoughtful Christians would emulate. Team captain Pee Wee Reese was an unlikely ally for Robinson. He was born in segregated Louisville, Kentucky, and the odds were that Reese would be a part of the boycott against a black player. But the diminutive Pee Wee Reese proved to be a giant of a man one day in Cincinnati. During infield practice the Redleg players were screaming at Jackie with all of the usual hateful epithets. And then the venom was distributed to Reese. They were yelling things at him like “How can you play with this (epithet)?”, as Jackie stood uncomfortably at first base. Pee Wee went over to him and put his arm around him and smiled. A silence fell over the Reds dugout and the fans witnessing this amazing act of grace, Jackie smiled back. 

At Reese’s funeral, Joe Black, another Major League Baseball black pioneer, said: “Pee Wee helped make my boyhood dream come true to play in the Majors, the World Series. When Pee Wee reached out to Jackie, all of us in the Negro League smiled and said it was the first time that a White guy had accepted us. When I finally got up to Brooklyn, I went to Pee Wee and said, ‘Black people love you. When you touched Jackie, you touched all of us.’ With Pee Wee, it was No. 1 on his uniform and No. 1 in our hearts.”  

Robinson later wrote this sentiment to Reese in a book inscription. 

“Pee Wee whether you are willing to admit what you being just a great guy meant (a great deal) to my career, I want you to know how much I feel it meant. May I take this opportunity to say a great big thanks and I sincerely hope all things you want in life be yours.”  

We need a lot more Pee Wee Reese’s in the body of Christ. We need men and women who are willing to step up for others when it may not be the best action for personal gain. We need men who are brave enough to look hatred and bigotry in the eye and call it by its name. April 15^th was a day that demonstrated the greatness of two men. We need men who have the courage to emulate both Jackie Robinson and Pee Wee Reese in our walk with Jesus. The Apostle Paul had some good advice to accomplish that goal. 

Live creatively, friends. If someone falls into sin, forgivingly restore him, saving your critical comments for yourself. You might be needing forgiveness before the day’s out. Stoop down and reach out to those who are oppressed. Share their burdens, and so complete Christ’s law. If you think you are too good for that, you are badly deceived.

    Make a careful exploration of who you are and the work you have been given, and then sink yourself into that. Don’t be impressed with yourself. Don’t compare yourself with others. Each of you must take responsibility for doing the creative best you can with your own life. Gal 6  Msg 

I want to be willing to stoop down and reach out to those who are oppressed. As I meditate on the gift of grace and redemption I received through the Cross I wonder how I can do anything else.

Immediate disclaimer to Internet hall monitors: This article is not meant to throw Al Gore under the bus. That would be an inappropriate use of carbon resources to fire up a nasty fume spitting bus just to make a point. The point of this piece is to examine one aspect of the story from a spiritual viewpoint.

First, some background is in order. Al Gore has made an amazing personal comeback with his global warming documentary. I will not debate the claims of his film here. I did write about being green and evangelical in an earlier post. Instead I want to focus on a very inconvenient truth that all of us battle. We are natural born hypocrites. All of us. Gore outlined a list of sacrifices that we could all make to help the environment. Use a clothesline instead of the dryer. Drive a hybrid. Cut back on the thermostat and home energy consumption.

But Al Gore’s personal lifestyle severely damaged his message. (Hint to Christian readers…this is fore-shadowing) The Chattanoogan newspaper reports that Gore’s mansion, located in the posh Belle Meade area of Nashville, consumes more electricity every month than the average American household uses in an entire year, according to the Nashville Electric Service (NES). In 2006, Gore devoured nearly 221,000 kWh — more than 20 times the national average. Last August alone, Gore burned through 22,619 kWh — guzzling more than twice the electricity in one month than an average American family uses in an entire year.

Bear with me, I am getting to the spiritual application. So how does Gore justify this apparent case of talk not matching walk? Mr.Gore purchases “carbon offsets” to make his consumption “carbon neutral”. By paying to plant trees or contributing to solar or wind powered energy it “offsets” the personal excessive usage.

Hmmm.

“Every family has a different carbon footprint,” said Kalee Krider, a spokeswoman for Gore. The official footprint of Al and Tipper is Sasquatch. The logic is interesting. Perhaps if I invest in companies that use sweat shop labor I can “offset” that by giving money to orphans and the  underprivileged.

The spiritual application is real and sobering. A messenger without commitment to the message loses effectiveness. Christians produce our own version of “carbon offsets”. We talk about the life changing power of Jesus and don’t demonstrate it. We talk about God’s love and don’t manifest that love. So we invest in “carnal offsets” like serving on every church committee or saying yes to every church request so that others can see how committed we are to the church.
“Look at how hard I am working.”
“I am doing so much more than that person.”
“All they do is consume the message every week, they never help out.”

And we spectacularly miss the point of following Jesus.

Jesus encountered an enthusiastic potential follower on His way to Jerusalem. The young man asked Jesus what he must do to inherit eternal life. The Lord’s answer was encouraging…at first.

“…to answer your question, you know the commandments: ‘You must not murder. You must not commit adultery. You must not steal. You must not testify falsely. You must not cheat anyone. Honor your father and mother.’”

 “Teacher,” the man replied, “I’ve obeyed all these commandments since I was young.”

His response stops me in his tracks. He was a good man. He was honest, lived with integrity, and was loving. The kind of guy that we assume should have stored up enough “sin offsets” to get in the gates. But Jesus saw what he worshiped and it was not God.

Looking at the man, Jesus felt genuine love for him. “There is still one thing you haven’t done,” he told him. “Go and sell all your possessions and give the money to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.” At this the man’s face fell, and he went away sad, for he had many possessions.

When he had to pay a price to follow Jesus the young man could not do it. Writer Jonathon Rauch wrote about a new trend in religion called apatheism. According to Rauch, this new breed of religious person doesn’t invest much actual commitment to their faith. Their goals are comfort, reassurance and a God who doesn’t expect too much in return for their valuable time.

We should not expect much impact from such a faith. The ire of Christ was never directed at sinners. His harshest words were directed at the religious types. Imagine walking up to a religious leader today and saying something like this…

Hypocrites! For you are careful to tithe even the tiniest income from your herb gardens, but you ignore the more important aspects of the law—justice, mercy, and faith. You should tithe, yes, but do not neglect the more important things.

Jesus said the cost of following Him was full commitment.

“If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.”

That is an “Uncomfortable Truth” for me. I want a Savior because I desire eternal life. I am reluctant to want a Lord because I would have to deed over control to God. Until we as followers of Jesus are willing to deny ourselves we will remain marginalized in this country. When people see something supernatural in our lives they will listen.

If we do not daily depend on Christ we are prone (every Christian) to be hypocrites and frauds. Al Gore gives us a secular mirror for our own self deception. We can too easily offer “sin offsets” instead of the difficult offerings of submission and grace. Inconvenient? Yep. Uncomfortable? No doubt. But if we are not sensitive to that truth we will leave a very small eternal footprint.

 

 

I am not a crier. So it was a bit out of character when the tears started flowing yesterday as I drove through the canyon in downtown Dallas. I blame Lindsay for this event. Lindsay is my bride’s cousin who moved to Texas recently. She already loved country music so that saved us some time to indoctrinate her. We love having her in Big D but she is going to have to stop introducing me to songs that make driving dangerous.

Lindsay told us about a song that we just had to hear. So I downloaded it to the trusty iPod and fired it up as I drove to work yesterday. The song is called Tough and it is performed by Craig Morgan. If you know much about our past year you will quickly see why this song had the Old Yeller/Field of Dreams effect on the eyeballs. The lyrics start innocently enough…

She’s in the kitchen at the crack of dawn
Bacon’s on, coffee’s strong
Kids running wild, taking off their clothes
If she’s a nervous wreck, well it never shows
Takes one to football and one to dance
Hits the Y for aerobics class
Drops by the bank, stops at the store
Has on a smile when I walk through the door
The last to go to bed, she’ll be the first one up
And I thought I was tough

Chorus:

She’s strong, pushes on, can’t slow her down
She can take anything life dishes out
There was a time
Back before she was mine
When I thought I was tough

That made me smile as I remembered the days when Joni juggled three active boys through school, baseball, basketball, and forced Cotillion dance lessons. I was a little too absent as I carved out my career. I finally realized how tough she really was to raise three wonderful sons while her husband traveled around the country and world. I appreciated how tough she was while sacrificing weekends with our friends because sports teams insist on playing on the weekends and sports television was my job. So a mixture of fond memories and some regrets filled my mind when I got ambushed by the next verse.

We sat there five years ago
The doctors let us know the tests showed
She’d have to fight to live, I broke down and cried
She held me and said it’s gonna be alright
She wore that wig to church
Pink ribbon pinned there on her shirt
No room for fear, full of faith
Hands held high, singing Amazing Grace
Never once complained, refusing to give up
And I thought I was tough

I am not ashamed to admit that those words turned on the waterworks. That is my bride and that has been her journey. She has been full of faith from diagnosis day till this moment. No room for fear because she believes that faith in God casts out fear as you rest in His Sovereign hand. I have probably complained more about my knees aching than she has about cancer. And she has refused to give up because she wants to live and serve the Lord. If I thought I was tough that misguided notion fell by the wayside as I watched Joni battle cancer with the courage that a young shepherd boy challenged a Philistine giant. Now we have passed the one year mark, the scans have been clear and the treatments are nearly done.

How can I thank all of you who have prayed so faithfully over the past year? Many of you have prayed so diligently and I don’t even know you. We may never meet this side of eternity. Yet you have cared enough to pray for us throughout this long journey. Amazing. Joni has retired the wig now and is wearing her very own hair to church.

 

Joni’s strength and dignity have humbled me. There was a time before she was mine when I thought I was tough. No more. But there is one other thing I have learned during this difficult year.

I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength. 

Yet it was good of you to share in my (our) troubles.  Phil 4

Thank you. It really was good of you to share in our troubles. And we are so grateful and humbled.

I will not complete the sentence. My first reaction is to fill in the blank because I was disgusted by the comments that the talk show host made about the Rutgers basketball team. In one 30 second strafing he demeaned a school, a race, a sport, and a gender.

I have written a great deal about civility in the public discourse. I have to confess that I am losing heart. Internet forums make cowards courageous. You can write things to me from the cave of anonymity that you would never say to my face. The rules at my site have been consistent. This is not an open forum. We have one basic rule at “Bad Christian” World Headquarters.

Verily, verily, all words that proceedeth out of thy posts and thy comments shall be civil…thus saith the one who payeth the server bills. Thy vile words shall be cast forever into the sea of delete and I will blocketh thee forever.

King James style rules just sound more authoritative.

Recently Rick Warren had a conversational debate with Sam Harris. The discourse between the two of them was civil. But the reaction to the debate from those opposed to faith has been disturbing and ugly. Warren has been called all kinds of names and his intellect, character and even appearance defamed. I can count on being called names anytime that I write about intelligent design or scientific studies that may point toward faith. In almost every case the poster is anonymous and they make me think of Brave Sir Robin from the Monty Python skits. This inflammatory rhetoric has debate in America on life support. I wish I could be more optimistic about its recovery. Hopefully the majority of the readers of these humble ramblings can actually define civility. But just in case, here is the definition of civility listed at dictionary.com.

   1. Courteous behavior; politeness.
   2. A courteous act or utterance.

Such a simple concept. Just common sense. Yet it seems like we are tilting at windmills and warbling the “Impossible Dream” when you hope that two people on opposite ends of an argument can have an intelligent and civil debate. Guests on talk shows yell over one another. Hosts interrupt. Debaters mug with condescending smirks in the other TV box while a guest makes his or her case. Tragically, this ugly level of discourse has made its way into the debate within the body of Christ.  Paul wrote this to the church at Colosse.

Use your heads as you live and work among outsiders. Don’t miss a trick. Make the most of every opportunity. Be gracious in your speech. The goal is to bring out the best in others in a conversation, not put them down, not cut them out.   Colossians 4  The Message

In Ephesians we find this exhortation.

Watch the way you talk. Let nothing foul or dirty come out of your mouth. Say only what helps, each word a gift….Make a clean break with all cutting, backbiting, profane talk. Be gentle with one another, sensitive. Forgive one another as quickly and thoroughly as God in Christ forgave you.

How often do we hear someone defending their ungracious attitude with the disclaimer that they were just proclaiming the truth? We have a higher standard as followers of Christ. We are called to proclaim truth and we must not water down the truth. But we are also called to be imitators of Jesus. He was tough on sin while being gentle with sinners. He was amazingly gracious to anyone who sought truth but he recognized that some only wish to sow discord. He gave these instructions as He sent out the Twelve.

“When you knock on a door, be courteous in your greeting. If they welcome you, be gentle in your conversation. If they don’t welcome you, quietly withdraw. Don’t make a scene. Shrug your shoulders and be on your way.” 

Jesus knew He could not force His message into a man or woman’s heart. Why do we feel the need to attack those who deny Jesus and God? Sam Harris reports that he has received thousands of hate filled letters from people identifying themselves as followers of Jesus. I believe him because I hear from his team about my faith. Here is a heartbreaking comment from Harris.

Many who claim to have been transformed by Christ’s love are deeply, even murderously, intolerant of criticism. While you may ascribe this to human nature, it is clear that the hatred these people feel comes directly from the Bible. How do I know this? Because the most deranged of my correspondents always cite chapter and verse.

His most devastating point is that those who claim to be transformed are incapable of speaking the truth with that transforming love. I do not need to persuade Sam Harris that I am right. In fact, I cannot persuade him that I am. I would like to tell him that I don’t hate him or anyone else for their views. I don’t fear Sam Harris. If I am wrong about God then Sam Harris is harmless and perhaps helpful. If I am right about God then Sam Harris can neither damage nor thwart His plan for mankind. God does not need me to defend Him from attack. If I believe in the Creator of the universe I suspect He is quite capable of dealing with an author. Every generation has a Sam Harris and somehow faith has survived.  What I believe God does expect and desire from me is that I reflect His love. Harris often makes comments like this.

If Christianity is correct, and I persist in my unbelief, I should expect to suffer the torments of hell.

I do not wish ill on Sam Harris. I do not take delight or satisfaction in thinking about his eternal fate. I am simply sad that he has such a low view of adherents of faith. Here is my bottom line. I have called myself a Christian for over 30 years. I have wrestled with doubt. I have read the views of all sides. I have absorbed the arguments of the best thinkers on every side.  I have decided that Jesus is the Son of God. That is my decision. His presence and reality in my life have only been amplified in our recent trials. I guess I don’t have the energy to spend on indignation. There is so much more to be accomplished by reflecting the love and grace of Jesus. That is the way we will make a difference to a suspicious and skeptical world.

As for me, what is happening in the cultural debate climate does not change my responsibility. As a follower of Jesus I have pretty clear marching orders. Jesus was addressing the “religious” guys when he said this.

“If you grow a healthy tree, you’ll pick healthy fruit. If you grow a diseased tree, you’ll pick worm-eaten fruit. The fruit tells you about the tree. You have minds like a snake pit! How do you suppose what you say is worth anything when you are so foul-minded? It’s your heart, not the dictionary, that gives meaning to your words. A good person produces good deeds and words season after season. An evil person is a blight on the orchard. Let me tell you something: Every one of these careless words is going to come back to haunt you. There will be a time of Reckoning. Words are powerful; take them seriously. Words can be your salvation. Words can also be your damnation.”

The bottom line is that I can only be responsible for me. I want to produce good words and deeds. Part of that is being graceful in communication. Even if it sometimes feels like a losing battle. It does matter which words we say. Examples do matter. Even though I am not rich nor famous nor powerful I am still an example to others. I take it seriously. And so should you.