Charisa Stories

Tag: acts 20:24

  • Time To Implement The Grace Rules of Engagement

    I made a conscious decision a few years ago to focus on communicating the message of grace and identity in Christ. With that I decided to avoid the polarizing path of politics. Some have told me that is cowardly but I can honestly say there is no message more important to me than the liberating freedom of grace. I want to share the joy of living out of what Jesus has already accomplished and what God says is true about me. 

    That I am a saint. A new creation. A beloved child of God. I relate to the mission statement of Paul when he wrote these words.

    But my life is worth nothing to me unless I use it for finishing the work assigned me by the Lord Jesus—the work of telling others the Good News about the wonderful grace of God. (Acts 20:24, NLT)

    I feel called to be a messenger of hope and grace. Plus I feel like the negative team has a pretty full roster of contributors. 

    I still believe that is my calling with these humble ramblings. But how does grace enter into the conversation when we have sincere disagreements over cultural and political issues?

    It is fascinating how two people can look at the same information and reach completely opposite conclusions. So I am going to offer the “Grace Rules of Engagement” as a roadmap for civil discussion. 

    • Sincere followers of Jesus can look at cultural or political issues and have very different opinions. Jesus loves His children on both sides of the argument.

    I know I have changed my views on some cultural issues over my years of walking with Jesus. I was a child in the era when divorce was a mortal sin. I absolutely am committed to the idea of a husband and wife taking their vows seriously. But I learned that the cultural shame of divorce caused many Christian women to feel trapped in relationships of abuse. Clearly that was not the desire of a loving Heavenly Father who ordained marriage. In those sad situations it is necessary to divorce an abusive spouse. In the pulpits of my youth the message was no divorce outside of adultery was ever justified. I had a blind spot about how a declaration that appeared Biblical could foster abuse. So many issues we discuss have similar and complex nuances. We need to discuss, not demonize.

    • The goal of a discussion should not be to win.

    Thoughtful discourse is impossible when one of the participants only cares about winning the debate. The goal of any conversation should be graceful exchange of ideas without rude interruptions, condescending gestures, or angry exchanges. I would rather have a goal of being winsome instead of winning. That attitude fosters conversation. 

    • People of different viewpoints should commit to listen. Nothing shows respect more than carefully listening to the arguments of those with whom you disagree and then gently offering thoughtful responses. 

    Listen to talking heads on television news shows as they “discuss” different points of view. As soon as one side starts talking the other shakes their head, smirks, and then interrupts and talks over the other person. How is that going to persuade anyone? Yet we tend to do the same thing when we have significant disagreements with people of faith. Listen. Really listen. Let them finish their point. Then respond in grace.

    • Ask questions.

    You will not influence another person by arguing. The way to connect is to ask questions and try to understand why they feel the way they do. I have found that many times people I talk with don’t have a solid reason for their feelings. That can be a opening to honestly discuss difficult topics. 

    • Climb out of your bubble

    Find out what the other person is reading and watching. Expose yourself to different points of view and encourage those you have disagreements with to do the same. If you are confident in your beliefs there should be no fear in being exposed to differing viewpoints.

    • All of us are a work in process.

    Every child of God is in process. I am a very different Christian than I was 20, 10, or even 5 years ago. I am growing (hopefully) in grace and truth. I strongly believed and said things years ago that I am grieved about today. Thankfully God was patiently working with my heart and gently shining the light of the Holy Spirit on my blind spots. I need to give that grace to others. 

    • Pray for wisdom and grace then leave the results to God.

    So what is the goal when you have sincere disagreements with another believer over cultural issues? Use the “Grace Guidelines” and relax. God may be using you to plant seeds in the heart of the other person. Maybe you have a blind spot that needs the refining work of the Holy Spirit. Share your heart with love and kindness and be open to the possibility that you may be the one who needs to change your heart.

    • Grace never cancels

    Grace does not “cancel”. Grace does not shame. Grace does not answer anger with anger. The person you totally disagree with may be crying out of pain and deep wounding. Perhaps a gentle answer will give hope. Grace does not lash out when challenged. Grace is kind and gentle.

    Being graceful can be a pain in the hind regions but it is what we are called to offer to others. Paul addresses this to the church at Colossae. 

    Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful.

    Let the message about Christ, in all its richness, fill your lives. Teach and counsel each other with all the wisdom he gives. Sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs to God with thankful hearts. And whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through him to God the Father.Colossians 3:12-17, NLT

    Perhaps the most important thing all of us can do to further the unity in the body of Christ is to memorize that passage and try to implement those words for 30 days. By the grace of God it could become a habit.

    Be kind to those who disagree and remember the words of author Alexander MacLaren. “Kindness makes a person attractive. If you would win the world, melt it, do not hammer it.”

  • Please Play This Song BEFORE Posting or Tweeting

    Please Play This Song BEFORE Posting or Tweeting

    I have teased for years that I want to develop an app that asks you to pause and pray before you hit send. Failing that, maybe I can convince you instead to play a song recorded by Glen Campbell. The lyrics are from a poem written by Edgar Albert Guest in 1914. Guest immigrated from England in 1891 at the age of 10. He was a newspaper reporter for the Detroit Free Press before becoming a syndicated author of poetry. He became known as the “Peoples Poet” and was said to have published a new poem everyday for 30 years. His works were not critically acclaimed but they connected with the public. Fifty-one years after Guest published “A Creed” the words were put to music by Glen Campbell in a song titled “Less of Me”. (Click on the link to hear it)

    Let me be a little kinder,
    Let me be a little blinder
    To the faults of those around me,
    Let me praise a little more.

    Just implementing that stanza alone would change the tenor of Twitter immeasurably. I have been thinking a lot about how Americans have allowed social media to divide us. It is especially disappointing that followers of Jesus demonize people over social media posts. Allow me to make my point before canceling me. I know that outrageous and often mean things are posted on social media. Sometimes they are posted by people that I consider to be acquaintances or even friends. Here is the strategy that I am proposing to deal with such posts.

    1. Pray for the person posting it. A social media post is an unfortunately permanent reminder of a moment in time. It could be something said in a moment of anger, sadness, frustration, or hurt that doesn’t represent the heart of the poster.
    2. Snooze a friend instead of lose a friend. Facebook allows you to snooze a friend for 30 days. You won’t see their posts for that period of time. I snooze them because I do not want to unfriend someone over a post I don’t like.
    3. Remember that person is created in the image of God. Maybe they are saying and acting in a way that is disappointing but they are loved by their Creator.

    Those on the other side of angry social media discourse are not unlike us. When we fight the cultural war we need to remember that the whole purpose of Jesus invading our space and time was to love and ultimately die for those on both sides of the battle. God’s grace is available to everyone and every single person reading this blog today has thought, said, or posted something that they regret (or should regret).

    Perhaps the biggest lesson for Christians should be how the power of a unified focus on Jesus can unite even bitter enemies. My heart aches as I see Christians splitting ranks over things that don’t amount to a hill of beans on an eternal scale. I picture Jesus weeping over the churches of America like He wept over Jerusalem. I picture Him weeping over how Christians in this country divide over non-essentials and fail to communicate the joy and life-changing power of the good news of the Gospel. The culture war is important but temporal. The war for our soul is eternal. I sometimes wish I could excise this passage from Scripture but here it is and I can’t ignore it.

    ““You have heard the law that says, ‘Love your neighbor’ and hate your enemy. 44 But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you! 45 In that way, you will be acting as true children of your Father in heaven. For he gives his sunlight to both the evil and the good, and he sends rain on the just and the unjust alike. (Matthew 5:43-45, NLT)

    How is that even possible? It is not possible in my own power. I must trust God for that to occur. I must believe that He is working in the heart of those I disagree with, in my heart, or maybe both of us to focus on what matters. I need to trust that God will ultimately see that justice prevails. I am called to love and be a light for the Gospel.

    If Paul were writing to the church today he might change this verse a bit from the original version to the Galatians.

    For you are all children of God through faith in Christ Jesus. 27 And all who have been united with Christ in baptism have put on Christ, like putting on new clothes. 28 There is no longer Jew or Gentile, progressive or conservative, complementarian or egalitarian. For you are all one in Christ Jesus.

    The point is that our only unity is in Christ. The hill that Jesus died on was the hill of salvation by grace. He allowed Himself to be put there to accomplish God’s plan for salvation. That is the hill worth dying on.

    The poem continues with these words.

    Let me be a little meeker
    With the brother that is weaker,
    Let me think more of my neighbor
    And a little less of me.

    C.S.Lewis wisely said this about humility.

    “Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it’s thinking of yourself less.”

    The poem finishes with this stanza.

    Let me toil, without complaining,
    Not a humble task disdaining,
    Let me face the summons calmly
    When death beckons me away.

    When death beckons me away I pray that my legacy will be proclaiming grace and displaying grace. My final lap mission statement agrees with Paul in the book of Acts.

    But my life is worth nothing to me unless I use it for finishing the work assigned me by the Lord Jesus—the work of telling others the Good News about the wonderful grace of God. (Acts 20:24, NLT)

    Want to join me?