Charisa Stories

Tag: colossians 3

  • God Has A Weight Loss Plan For The New Year

    Most of us see New Years Day as a fresh start. We make steadfast resolutions of how we are going to do better this year. The reality is that January 1st is just another day. We could just as easily resolve on May 18th or August 3rd that we are going to change how we live. But there is something psychologically powerful about New Year’s Day.

    The most cited resolutions generally include things like exercising more, saving more money, getting out of debt, and reading the Bible all the way through without getting bogged down in Leviticus and skipping directly to the Psalms. The most popular resolution year after year is losing weight.

    I thought I would be doing a real service if I gave you God’s Weight Loss Plan to take into 2026. This weight loss plan will make you healthier, reduce stress, give you more joy and cause you to grow in your relationship with the Lord. By following this no subscription, no monthly dues plan you can lose the weight of bitterness and anger caused from lack of forgiveness. If you are carrying around an unforgiving spirit it is weighing you down spiritually and emotionally.

    This is from a chapter on forgiveness I wrote in “Bring’em Back Alive – A Healing Plan for those Wounded by the Church”.

    • Forgiveness is not condoning or diminishing the offense. Forgiving a person who has wronged you does not mean they are “off the hook” for any consequences or judgment that may result from their actions. Forgiveness is a personal act of your will that releases the other person from your condemnation. At that point you have been obedient to what Jesus asks of you, the other person is responsible to God for their response as you trust God to see that justice is dispensed according to His Holy judgment and timing.
    • Forgiveness is not forgetting. The old forgive and forget admonition was one of the biggest barriers I faced in my journey to learn how to forgive. You know the old mental challenge to not picture an elephant in the room. You can’t do it. Instantly the image pops into your mind. The more I tried to be spiritually mature and try to forgive and forget the more my offender became the “elephant in the room.” That person or event was all I could think of. Over time you will think less and less of the hurt and/or the one who administered same.Trying to achieve a state of instantaneous forgetfulness is setting yourself up for failure and frustration.
    • Forgiveness does not require reconciliation. Certainly it is a worthy goal to have the gift of forgiveness lead to a restoration of a damaged relationship. But it takes two people to reconcile and you have no control over anyone’s response except your own. The other person may not respond graciously. They may not be ready to accept forgiveness or acknowledge their part or even desire to be reconciled. Reconciliation is not required to be obedient to the command of Jesus.
    • Forgiveness is an act of the will and is not a response to feelings. We must choose to forgive and trust the Jesus who forgave us to eventually change our feelings. We may not “feel” like forgiveness has transpired. If you decide to wait until you “feel” like forgiving or that the other person must make the first move you will remain spiritually stuck. We have to make the choice and then wait for God to honor the choice. We make a choice to forgive and then we have faith that the Holy Spirit will reshape our feelings over the course of time.
    • Forgiveness is not ignoring or excusing the offense. There is nothing to forgive if we have not been wronged. Jesus is not asking us to ignore reality. He is asking us to acknowledge how much we have been forgiven and to extend that gift of grace. It may well be undeserved. So was my forgiveness Jesus bought for me at the Cross. Forgiveness is acknowledging the offense without cover-up or excuse and still choosing to forgive.
    • Forgiveness is not denial of the hurt. Pride will often cause us to “not allow the person who hurt us the satisfaction” of knowing we are wounded. That is absurd. Acknowledge the reality of the injury but make the choice to be healed.
    • Forgiveness is eliminating revenge as an option. Lewis Smedes makes a brilliant point about revenge. No matter how much we try “we cannot get even; this is the inner fatality of revenge.” When you start trying to get even you have already lost. How many times must I gossip about you to get “even” for the hurt you caused me? When is the scale even? The truth proclaimed by Josh Billings is “there is no revenge so complete as forgiveness.”
    • Forgiveness means understanding that hurt is part of the faith tour contract that we signed when we decided to follow Jesus. Author David Stoop notes that, “People choose the Path of Bitterness when they get caught up in trying to understand the reasons for the offense. They think, if only they could understand why the other person did what he or she did, they could get over it and let it go.” I have three words for that approach. Does not work.

    The late author Lewis Smedes wrote that only forgiveness can “release us from the grip of our history.” We cannot change an abusive upbringing. We cannot alter dysfunctional theological training that denied grace. We cannot simply deny the hurts that have been visited upon us and be spiritually free. Only forgiveness can release us from the grip of these real and historical events.

    Forgiveness is not the cop out of weak people. The reason you need to forgive is that our Designer knew that is the only way for you to be fully healed. You have a Savior who understands the pain of betrayal. That is why Jesus gave up His glory in Heaven to take on flesh.

    Is forgiving easy? Of course not. I believe that forgiveness is the single hardest thing that Jesus asks us to do. But He knows how important forgiveness is for own growth. But why would you want to live in anger and carry the extra weight of an unforgiving spirit when Jesus has something better for you? The Apostle Paul’s wrote these words in Colossians.

    Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. (Col 3, NIV)

    That can lighten the weight of bitterness and anger as you trust God this year.

  • A Sacred Plan To Make Thanksgiving Day Special

    I encourage you to turn off the news Thanksgiving Day and concentrate on what you have to be thankful for this holiday. I think you might be surprised at how many good things you take for granted everyday. I love the concept of Thanksgiving. The idea that we collectively take a day to concentrate on the abundant blessings we have in this country.

    Thanksgiving Song by Mary Chapin Carpenter captures the intimacy of this wonderful holiday.

    Grateful for each hand we hold
    Gathered round this table.
    From far and near we travel home,
    Blessed that we are able.

    I have so much to be grateful for this Thanksgiving. I am grateful for another year with my wonderful wife Joni. I am grateful for three wonderful sons, three amazing daughter-in-laws, and eight heart stealing grandchildren. I am blessed that our family is able to be together this Thanksgiving. I am grateful for good friends. I am grateful to be an American.

    Grateful for this sheltered place
    With light in every window,
    Saying “welcome, welcome, share this feast
    Come in away from sorrow.”

    Every year brings sorrow. Friends and family have suffered illness this year. Some have gone through deep trials. Some have passed away. Sorrow is a part of this journey. But there is something healing about counting blessings and feeling gratitude. Taking that time provides a sheltered place from sorrow. For me the light in the window of my soul is my trust in a God that is faithful, loving, and good in both blessings and in sorrow.

    Grateful for what’s understood,
    And all that is forgiven;

    Jesus is the light that said welcome when I felt anything but welcome. He invited me to the feast that I did not deserve to attend because of His grace. Jesus said I was forgiven. How can I be anything but grateful if I understand the magnitude of that undeserved love?

    We try so hard to be good,
    To lead a life worth living.

    I might add a little personal clarification to Carpenter’s lyric. I understand the desire to live a life of significance. I get trying to be good. I believe we have a reason for being here. But my experience with the grace of the Lord Jesus has taught me that it is not trying so hard to lead a life worth living that brings peace and joy. It is following Jesus each day. It is allowing God to love me and asking Him to help me give away that love to others. It is trusting God to provide opportunities to serve. It is believing that God is faithful even through sorrow. It is trusting that what God says about me is true. I am so grateful for grace. So very grateful.

    Paul’s words to the Colossian Church make a fitting devotional thought for this holiday.

    Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful.

    Let the message about Christ, in all its richness, fill your lives. Teach and counsel each other with all the wisdom he gives. Sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs to God with thankful hearts. And whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through him to God the Father. (Colossians 3:12-17, NLT)

    I hope you have a blessed Thanksgiving.

  • Don’t Fool Yourself About Being Self-Sufficient. We All Serve Somebody.

    Bob Dylan wrote some powerful songs about his faith journey in the late 70’s. One song he composed popped up on the music feed recently. “Gotta Serve Somebody” simply says that no matter how independent or in control we might try to be we still serve something or somebody.

    But you’re gonna have to serve somebody, yes indeed
    You’re gonna have to serve somebody
    Well, it may be the devil or it may be the Lord
    But you’re gonna have to serve somebody

    I used to think I was self-sufficient but I was fooling myself. My self-image centered on my job or my social or political beliefs. Those weren’t bad things in my estimation. That lyric struck a spiritual chord because it reminded me of a thought provoking definition of idolatry from author Tim Keller that we can substitute even good things for God.

    “Sin is building your life and meaning on anything, even a very good thing, more than on God. Whatever we build our life on will drive us and enslave us. Sin is primarily idolatry.” 

    That is disturbing for a guy who was taught from childhood that sin was simply obeying a legalistic check list that validated my righteousness. That list contained but was not limited to R- rated movies, liquor, cigarettes, dancing, long hair, and rock and roll.

    Tim Keller’s definition of idolatry takes all of the fun out of self-righteous comparison and judging of others.

    Here is another toe-stomper from Tim Keller. “If our identity is in our work, rather than Christ, success will go to our heads, and failure will go to our hearts.”

    Who I am serving today and where I place my identity will define my actions and reactions.

    My worth is not in always being right or being the smartest guy in the room. My worth is defined by being a child of God and a friend of Jesus. When I keep my eyes on Jesus, I maintain a better perspective on every area of my life.

    It is a hard truth to admit that we often worship the things of this world because they really can be good things. God in His loving grace does not desire for us to be deprived of good and pleasurable things. He simply wants us to place them in proper order and to understand they are sources of happiness and not the source of joy. Later in the passage Paul gives one key to avoiding idolatry and where our identity should be found.

    Put on your new nature, and be renewed as you learn to know your Creator and become like Him. In this new life, it doesn’t matter if you are a Jew or a Gentile, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbaric, uncivilized, slave, or free. Christ is all that matters, and He lives in all of us. (Colossians 3:10-11, NLT)

    Your assignment is to take a moment to read verses Colossians 3:12-17 to see what the results of this action might look like. There will not be a quiz.

    Another key is to remember a campfire song from the Jesus movement that was, to borrow the approach of Law and Order, “ripped” from the Gospel of Matthew. (Matthew 6:33)

    Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness;
    and all these things shall be added unto you.
    Allelu, alleluia

    Everybody is going to serve somebody or something. Who (or what) are you centering your life on today? I choose today and everyday to serve Jesus.

  • I Think Jesus and the Apostle Paul Were On To Something!

    A study published by the Psychology Department at the University of Essex looked at the negative emotional and cognitive effect of hearing bad news only. Here is the opening statement from the study.

    “Journalists employing the maxim “if it bleeds, it leads” seem intuitively aware of the negativity bias people have in attending to and remembering bad events over good ones. Indeed, negatively valenced news dominates the press and is shared on Twitter more frequently than positively valenced. (newsjournals.plos.org)

    The study went on to note that “news featuring others’ immorality captivates people, it can have aversive affective and cognitive impacts, increasing emotional disturbances and negatively skewing people’s belief in the goodness of others”. 

    I think we have witnessed that increasing and divisive effect on our culture. The authors are correct that such reporting of bad news “captivates” and leads to lots of unhealthy biting on the clickbait of negativity. The study examined an interesting counterbalance. Would showing acts of human kindness and compassion immediately after the acts of immorality create better emotional health?

    The results revealed that seeing those acts of kindness left the test subjects in a better mood and with more positive views of humanity. Just to see if kindness was the difference maker they showed some subjects only humorous stories to offset the bad news. Those subjects felt better but the conclusion was fascinating.

    Quoting the study again.

    “Amusing news stories certainly helped buffer the effects of bad news and reduce the mood disturbances they caused. But in comparison, participants who’d been shown acts of kindness reported a more positive mood on average, and a greater belief in the goodness of humanity.

    This shows us there’s something unique about kindness which may buffer the effects of negative news on our mental health.”(niemanlab.org)

    I find these studies fascinating as a person who believes in the wisdom of Scripture. The effects of kindness were well documented in the writings of the Gospels, the Epistles of Paul, and many other places in the Bible. It is important to note that these concepts were revolutionary in a culture which focused on power and control. Paul’s message to the church at Colossae is just one example of the amazingly positive potential of following the teachings of Jesus.

    Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful. (Colossians 3)

    Scottish writer Henry Drummond observed in the late 19th century that “the greatest thing a man can do for his Heavenly Father is to be kind to some of His other children”. That is our job as followers of Christ. Too often we have failed to show up for work.

    I want the grace that God has given me to make my heart sensitive toward the poor and hurting and spiritually seeking. It is hard to spend much time in the New Testament and not realize our challenge to be kind. Here is a very small sample.

    35 But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for He is kind to the ungrateful and the evil. (Luke 6:35, ESV)

    22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, (Galatians 5:22 ESV)

    32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. (Ephesians 4:32 ESV)

    4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. 1 Corinthians 13:4, ESV)

    The charge of hypocrisy leveled at the church has a lot to do with our obsession with sin management over living a life of kindness, grace and service. If I am not living out of grace then the love of Christ isn’t reaching as far as it could. Kindness is clearly step one.

    Kindness does not require great skill or advanced degrees. One of my spiritual heroes is Frederick Buechner. He wrote that “if you want to be holy, be kind”. You do not have to like someone to be kind. Kindness is powerful. Kindness tears down walls. Kindness builds trust. Kindness shows the love of Christ through our imperfect efforts. For Christians, kindness gives the hearer a reason to listen to our message of redemption and grace.

    Scientific research shows kindness makes a difference to offset the evil in this world. Scripture tells us kindness can make a difference. The world is overwhelmed with bad news. Wouldn’t it be a blessing to be a kind vessel of Good News for those we encounter on our journey? A good plan is to read the words of Paul and follow Jesus.

  • The Secret to a Happy Life? Don’t Blink!

    Bella seems surprised by the blog title but a song from Kenny Chesney caught my attention. In the lyrics an interviewer asks a man celebrating his one hundred and second birthday about his secret to life. His response?

    Don’t blink

    He talks about how life seems to be a blink from childhood to reaching the century mark. I’m still a ways from the century mark though my shoulder feels that old this morning. It seems like just yesterday that I was playing sandlot baseball as a kid. Moments ago I was in high school being Attention Deficit before ADD was cool. Just yesterday I met the stunning Joni Banks and somehow talked her into dating me. Wasn’t it just weeks ago that three adorable baby boys came into our lives? 

    Don’t blink.

    Married almost 49 years. Five decades of directing live TV sporting events. Seven grandchildren. Are you kidding me?

    I have had, if I may borrow the franchise of Frank Capra, a wonderful life. Through it all I feel blessed beyond comprehension. I believe that is because I found my reason for being here. Pastor and author Rick Warren summed it up nicely in a recent interview.

    People ask me, What is the purpose of life? And I respond, In a nutshell, life is preparation for eternity. We were made to last forever, and God wants us to be with Him in Heaven. One day my heart is going to stop, and that will be the end of my body – but not the end of me. I may live 60 to 100 years on earth, but I am going to spend trillion of years in eternity. This is the warm-up act, the dress rehearsal. God wants us to practice on earth what we will do forever in eternity. We were made by God and for God, and until you figure that out, life isn’t going to make sense.

    Life is a series of problems: Either you are in one now, you’re just coming out of one or you’re getting ready to go into another one. The reason for this is that God is more interested in your character than your comfort. God is more interested in making your life holy than He is in making your life happy. We can be reasonably happy here on earth, but that’s not the goal of life: The goal is to grow in character, In Christ-likeness.

    If this is the warm-up act for my eternity gig on the main stage then all of this is merely preparation. Football players hate the two-a-day practices in the brutal heat. But they love the exhilaration of victory that the difficult preparation allows for later in the season. Sometimes the two-a-days of life seem cruel and without purpose. But my understanding of the God who made me and His purpose for me allows me to believe there is purpose and design. I don’t always see it. I love being happy and carefree. But if my purpose is preparation for my real gig then I need to live out of my new identity and trust God to mature me in Christ-likeness. Paul wrote this in the book of Colossians.

    Since you have been raised to new life with Christ, set your sights on the realities of heaven, where Christ sits at God’s right hand in the place of honor and power. Let heaven fill your thoughts. Do not think only about things down here on earth. For you died when Christ died, and your real life is hidden with Christ in God. And when Christ, who is your real life, is revealed to the whole world, you will share in all his glory. (Col 3, NLT)

    The lyrics quote the wide old man telling others how to finish strong.

    I was glued to my TV when it looked like he looked at me and said
    “Best start putting first things first.”
    Cause when your hourglass runs out of sand
    You can’t flip it over and start again
    Take every breath God gives you for what it’s worth

    The songwriter is correct. We have a pre-determined number of grains in the hourglass so I choose today to live in the moment in grace and freedom. Every breath is a gift even on the toughest days. Enjoy today. Yesterday is gone and tomorrow is not promised.

    In no time at all on the eternity clock I will be with my Lord and Savior. I will be home. For my fellow sojourners I pray that you will trust that truth. You may face storms and deep valleys along the way. The secret to life? Trust a God who is trustworthy. And one more thing.

    Don’t blink. His blessings are all around you when your eyes are looking.

  • Why Misplaced Hope Makes Life So Hard

    It is more than a little disconcerting to see the division, anger, and hatred we are witnessing in our country. I experienced a similar season in the late 1960’s but this one seems even more intense. Perhaps social media and 24 hour news exacerbates the tension. As a self-righteous know-it-all back then I thought we would be able to fix everything my parent’s generation had messed up. We had great hope that we would change the system and fix the problems.

    We thought that hope would be realized with the right leader or a political party. In retrospect I see that I was putting my long game hope in all the wrong places.

    The word hope is used about 80 times in the New Testament. The first appearance of the word in the NIV New Testament translation pretty much lays out my belief that my hope is not found in the houses of power.

    “In his name (Jesus) the nations will put their hope.” (Matthew 12, NIV)

    Paul wrote about the hope that I now have in his letter to the Romans.

    I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit. (Romans 15:13, NIV)

    Real hope occurs when I remember who I am.
    I am a follower of Jesus. A child of God. A servant who is humbled by His amazing grace. A person who has been changed because of Christ. A follower of the Lord who believes that God is sovereign and His plan will be fulfilled.

    When those truths are my focus I have hope that is real. I have peace that transcends circumstance. When I keep my eyes on Jesus, I maintain a better perspective on every area of my life. You do that by remembering what really matters.

    Put on your new nature, and be renewed as you learn to know your Creator and become like Him. In this new life, it doesn’t matter if you are a Jew or a Gentile, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbaric, uncivilized, slave, or free. Christ is all that matters, and He lives in all of us. (Colossians 3:10-11, NLT)

    I remember a campfire song from the Jesus movement that was, to borrow the approach of Law and Order, “ripped” from the Gospel of Matthew. (Matthew 6:33)

    Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness;
    and all these things shall be added unto you.
    Allelu, alleluia

    Who (or what) are you centering your hope on today? Hope grows when you seek Jesus and rest in His Righteousness. Nothing else makes sense.

  • So You Think You are Strong Enough to Handle Anything? Think Again.

    After listening to a few minutes of depressing news I needed a little soul nourishment. Rich Mullins is one of my go to songwriters for that need. The first song that played was very timely in this season of uncertainty.  “We Are Not As Strong As We Think We Are” shows how our relationships can be fragile in the best of times.

    Well, it took the hand of God Almighty
    To part the waters of the sea
    But it only took one little lie
    To separate you and me
    Oh, we are not as strong as we think we are.

    If only we could acknowledge that we are not as strong as we think we are and then live accordingly I believe we would see an amazing difference. 

    I need God and the community of believers to be spiritually and emotionally healthy. Yet pride often tells me that I am able to handle the situation. Fear tells me that revealing the needs of my heart will only make things worse. So one little lie or misunderstanding dealt with in my own strength negates the strength of a God who could part the waters of the seas. I choose my incapable power over the One who could heal my pain if only I would let Him.

    We try ignore or bury the internal toxins of relational hurt, misunderstandings, accusations, and fear. We seal those emotional and spiritual poisons up hoping it will somehow be okay. But the toxins in our heart have not been removed, only compartmentalized. The pain continues to grow, slowly and inexorably. Finally the pressure builds to the point of explosion. There is a better way.

    Paul described that better way to the Colossians.

    Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful. 

    (Colossians 3:12-15, NLT)

    Sometimes I dream that the body of Christ would commit to spend 30 days living and breathing just those four verses. What would that look like? How much healing would happen? I think four verses could spark revival.

    But we pull back and try to go it alone. Even if we attempt to walk in community we are too afraid or proud to share our needs. Rich Mullins was exactly right. We are not as strong as we think we are. Especially in this weird social media environment we need each other more than ever. So I am going to encourage you to reach out before you lash out. Ask for healing before you hurt yourself and others. 

    And if you find yourself in a decent place right now ask God to show you someone that you can reach out to and love. Call them. Text them. Ask how they are doing. God is serious about how we communicate about others in the flock. Peter writes:

    Be agreeable, be sympathetic, be loving, be compassionate, be humble. That goes for all of you, no exceptions. No retaliation. No sharp-tongued sarcasm. Instead, bless—that’s your job, to bless. You’ll be a blessing and also get a blessing. (1 Peter 3:8-9, The Message)

    Rich Mullin’s wrote that weakness is not a sin. Failing to acknowledge our need for God’s strength is the sin.

    We are frail
    We are fearfully and wonderfully made
    Forged in the fires of human passion
    Choking on the fumes of selfish rage
    And with these our hells and our heavens
    So few inches apart
    We must be awfully small
    And not as strong as we think we are.

    No, we are not as strong as we think we are. We need to acknowledge that He is God and we are not.

    He will hold you in your fear and anxiety. We need to leave our pride at the foot of the Cross and depend on His grace and strength. And we need to not kid ourselves about this simple truth. We are not as strong as we THINK we are. We need Jesus. We need each other.