Charisa Stories

Tag: colossians

  • Don’t Blink


    As I celebrated birthday number 70 last week a song fired up from Kenny Chesney. In the lyrics an interviewer asks a man celebrating his one hundred and second birthday about his secret to life. His response?

    Don’t blink

    He talks about how life seems to be a blink from childhood to reaching the century mark. I’m still a ways from the century mark though my shoulder feels that old this morning. It seems like just yesterday that I was playing sandlot baseball as a kid. Moments ago I was in high school being Attention Deficit before ADD was cool. Just yesterday I met the stunning Joni Banks and somehow talked her into dating me. Wasn’t it just weeks ago that three adorable baby boys came into our lives?

    Don’t blink.

    Married almost 47 years. Five decades of directing live TV sporting events. Seven grandchildren. Are you kidding me?

    I have had, if I may borrow the franchise of Frank Capra, a wonderful life. Through it all I feel blessed beyond comprehension. I believe that is because I found my reason for being here. Pastor and author Rick Warren summed it up nicely in a recent interview.

    People ask me, What is the purpose of life? And I respond, In a nutshell, life is preparation for eternity. We were made to last forever, and God wants us to be with Him in Heaven. One day my heart is going to stop, and that will be the end of my body – but not the end of me. I may live 60 to 100 years on earth, but I am going to spend trillion of years in eternity. This is the warm-up act, the dress rehearsal. God wants us to practice on earth what we will do forever in eternity. We were made by God and for God, and until you figure that out, life isn’t going to make sense.

    Life is a series of problems: Either you are in one now, you’re just coming out of one or you’re getting ready to go into another one. The reason for this is that God is more interested in your character than your comfort. God is more interested in making your life holy than He is in making your life happy. We can be reasonably happy here on earth, but that’s not the goal of life: The goal is to grow in character, In Christ-likeness.

    If this is the warm-up act for my eternity gig on the main stage then all of this is merely preparation. Football players hate the two-a-day practices in the brutal heat. But they love the exhilaration of victory that the difficult preparation allows for later in the season. Sometimes the two-a-days of life seem cruel and without purpose. But my understanding of the God who made me and His purpose for me allows me to believe there is purpose and design. I don’t always see it. I love being happy and carefree. But if my purpose is preparation for my real gig then I need to live out of my new identity and trust God to mature me in Christ-likeness. Paul wrote this in the book of Colossians.

    Since you have been raised to new life with Christ, set your sights on the realities of heaven, where Christ sits at God’s right hand in the place of honor and power. Let heaven fill your thoughts. Do not think only about things down here on earth. For you died when Christ died, and your real life is hidden with Christ in God. And when Christ, who is your real life, is revealed to the whole world, you will share in all his glory. (Col 3, NLT)

    The lyrics quote the wide old man telling others how to finish strong.

    I was glued to my TV when it looked like he looked at me and said
    “Best start putting first things first.”
    Cause when your hourglass runs out of sand
    You can’t flip it over and start again
    Take every breath God gives you for what it’s worth

    The songwriter is correct. We have a pre-determined number of grains in the hourglass so I choose today to live in the moment in grace and freedom. Every breath is a gift even on the toughest days. Enjoy today. Yesterday is gone and tomorrow is not promised.

    In no time at all on the eternity clock I will be with my Lord and Savior. I will be home. For my fellow sojourners I pray that you will trust that truth. You may face storms and deep valleys along the way. The secret to life? Trust a God who is trustworthy. And one more thing.

    Don’t blink. His blessings are all around you.

  • “Trash Talking” in Community.

    “Trash Talking” in Community.

    Last week we moved out of the house that our family had called home for thirty years. We experienced a lot of love, laughter, and memories in that house. There was also a lot stuff. Tons and tons of stuff. My amazing wife Joni organized a multi-week campaign leading up to the move to decide what needed to be sold, donated, re-homed, or trashed. It was a daunting task.

    Last Wednesday marked the final day of Operation Downsize as we finished cleanup at the old house and moved a few things to temporary housing. Several people from our church small group came to help us finish up. At our home church, Waterbrook Bible Fellowship, we call these groups “Home Teams”. We wrapped up some final packing and loaded a few fragile items into friend’s vehicles to be transported.

    But one embarrassing problem remained. The trash overflowed the capacity of our trash container. The solution was surprising. Several of our friends volunteered to take a bag of trash home with them to dispose of.

    Later Joni commented about the day. “Our Home Team is amazing. They even took our trash.”

    My first thought was this was a very practical metaphor for what community should be. We all wish that we had people who would be willing to take on the “trash” in our lives willingly and without judgment. My friend John Lynch has a saying I have quoted so much I should pay him residuals.

    ““What if there was a place so safe that the worst of me could be known, and I would discover that I would not be loved less, but more In the telling of it?”

    Or to use our moving metaphor “what if there were a few people who knew I had more trash in my life than I could handle, but they were not disgusted or repelled but moved to take on that trash and help me get rid of it.”

    That is a room of grace where there is no condemnation. Joni and I have been a part of three different small groups that were transformational. They all had the following characteristics.

    1. Leave your politics on the porch. Most of us have strong convictions about political issues but these gatherings are about Jesus and how He relates to our journey together. Jesus spent zero time on politics except to tell the Pharisees to give Caesar his tax money.
    2. Make your gathering a safe place. Nothing shuts down trust more that sharing private things without permission. We make a rule that nothing is shared outside of our meeting without permission. That includes the sneaky Christian way of gossiping by sharing “prayer requests” out of “concern” for others. Get permission. Building that trust will help amazing things to happen.
    3. Learn each other’s stories. We make it a point to find out the life and spiritual journey each member of our group has taken. Hearing what a person has gone through in life will often change your heart attitude from judgment to deep admiration for their courage and resilience.

    God knows that we need others to make it through this often difficult journey. Scripture is full of exhortations about caring for and loving one another. Here are a couple of my favorites.

    Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works. And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near. Hebrews 10:24-25, NLT

    Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful. Colossians 3:13-15, NLT

    This passage in 1st John summarizes the why for living in community and loving others. We do it because Jesus first loved, served, and sacrificed for us.

    God showed how much he loved us by sending his one and only Son into the world so that we might have eternal life through him. This is real love—not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins.

    Dear friends, since God loved us that much, we surely ought to love each other. No one has ever seen God. But if we love each other, God lives in us, and his love is brought to full expression in us. 1 John 4:9-11, NLT

    All of us have excess trash in our lives. A lot of us are not quiet sure what to do with it. If we trust Jesus and others to help us with that trash you will find joy and liberty that you cannot imagine.

  • 21 Connect: Day 19 – It is Still a Wonderful World

    21 Connect: Day 19 – It is Still a Wonderful World

    There is a country song by George Strait that laments about how long it took him to figure out things in his life. The lyrics humorously admit that he was wrong about a lot of things and slow to the dance on many others. One of my favorite lyrics in that song is when he hears “What a Wonderful World” by Louis Armstrong and it brings a tear to his eye. “After all these years,” Strait sings, he finally gets that song.

    Me too.

    That song by Louis Armstrong sees the beauty in this sometimes-ugly world. Flowers, the blue sky, rainbows, smiles, love, and babies crying. And like a modern psalmist, Armstrong sits back and with a smile in his distinctive voice proclaims to himself and others that it is a wonderful world. Martin Luther said that “God writes the gospel not in the Bible alone, but on trees, and flowers, and clouds, and stars.” I believe that more than ever.

    We began this journey hoping that together we could find ways to eliminate distractions and examine attitudes that keep us from enjoying more connection to God and one another. Devices, distractions, worry, cynicism, and ingratitude were just a sampling of the external and internal things that keep us from enjoying the moment.

    Now I am determined to not let the devil or devices (sometimes they are one and the same) rob me of a precious moment. I hear people complaining about insignificant things, and I want to take their hand and show them the blessings all around them. I hear pundits and others spewing hateful rhetoric, and I want to tell them to relax—God is in control.

    I read passionate and too often ugly responses on social media, and my heart hurts. We don’t consider that we are attacking, demeaning, and demonizing a human created in the image of God. I look for any chance to show kindness, and I thank God that my circumstances are not bigger than He is.

    While I was finishing the manuscript of Waking Up Slowly I encountered a travel nightmare. My flight was delayed, and the updates were not particularly helpful. It had already been a long day, and the late arrival was unfortunate. We finally took off, and I breathed a sigh of relief. I took a taxi to the hotel and trudged to the clerk at the desk. Somehow, there was no reservation logged for me. The hotel was completely full, and there were no rooms at the half-dozen or so hotels that the employee called.

    My previous reaction would have been indignation. I might have dropped my status with that hotel chain. Without question I would have made the hotel clerk feel bad about how much I was being inconvenienced. I was never one to go off in anger, but I was entirely capable of cynical comments.

    But the lessons of this journey were fresh in my mind. Be kind. This is not her fault. Be grateful. This is not even a blip on the world-suffering scale. Be confident. God is in control and this will work out.

    Again the message of Colossians came to mind.

    Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful. (Colossians 3:12-15, NLT, Emphasis added)

    Eventually I located a hotel not too far away and went about the fun task of finding a taxi in a small city at two o’clock in the morning. I finally checked in and smiled at how God gives pop quizzes when we are asking the Spirit to teach us.

    I had navigated that travel ordeal without raising my blood pressure or incriminating someone without knowing who messed up. I learned the next day that I was the guilty party who had forgotten to follow up to confirm the reservation.

    Thank You, God, that I did not blame a person who was merely doing her job and had done nothing wrong. Sadly, I have done that before. Perhaps I am learning that a truly happy person enjoys the scenery on life’s detours. There are storms and trials in this journey but it truly is a wonderful world when we focus on our blessings and hope in Christ.

    Excerpted from Waking Up Slowly book

  • The Redwood Forest Holds a Key to Community

    The Redwood Forest Holds a Key to Community

    My home church challenged me (and I suppose the rest of the congregation) with a thought provoking theme for 2020.

    Life On Purpose

    Pastor Jeff Denton and the staff at Waterbrook Bible Fellowship will be emphasizing being intentional about the important things in our lives. Real growth in relationships, faith, and maturity usually doesn’t just happen. My default is to go with the flow and the rationalizations for that are frighteningly easy.

    “Officer, I didn’t mean to speed and break the law. I was just going with the flow of traffic.” Think about that. My defense is that everybody else is breaking the law. Therefore, I am innocent.

    Since the Garden if Eden the automatic answer to sin and shortcomings is that it is someone else’s fault. That may be true at times. But that thinking will never result in becoming like Jesus. So I have to be intentional about confronting my own heart. Change is hard. Sharing my need to change with others is even harder.

    Several years ago I took the risk to trust three men with everything about me. We call ourselves the Redwood Brothers based on a unique characteristic of California’s redwood trees. A redwood alone in a forest might look magnificent but the first strong wind could destroy it. You see, the coastal redwoods have shallow root systems and cannot survive a storm alone. Their roots extend over one hundred feet from the base but just broadening the root base is not what makes these beautiful trees capable of surviving the worst storms. They stand strong by intertwining their roots with the roots of other redwoods. The winds are now taking on an entire stand of trees and not a single redwood. No matter how majestic those trees might appear God designed them to need other trees to survive the storms.

    That is exactly how we are designed. That describes the relationship I have forged with the three other men who gather every year to share weaknesses, fears, and frustrations. We are men who desire to follow Christ faithfully and love our wives and families well. Yet we, too, can have shallow root systems, and we need the strength of one another as we go through strong winds and floods together. Sharing our imperfect journeys in a safe space has resulted in remarkable breakthroughs. We have experienced what my friend John Lynch wrote about in The Cure.

    “What if there was a place so safe that the worst of me could be known, and I would discover that I would not be loved less, but more In the telling of it?”

    Dropping the pretense and engaging in real conversation about the difficulties of this journey with other honest wayfarers is a real way to become more like Jesus.

    The need for church community is clear. But it’s even more important to look at what Jesus modeled. Jesus knew hundreds of people. He traveled with dozens. He sent out seventy. He discipled twelve. And He invested deeply in three. Jesus’ inner circle consisted of Peter, James, and John. He confided in these three men on a deeper and more profound level than any of the other disciples. I’ve found the same results in my own life. My greatest growth has taken place since I risked trusting a small group of men.

    Legendary professor Howard Hendricks of Dallas Theological Seminary says that every man needs three different types of individuals in his life: a Paul, a Barnabas, and a Timothy. Paul is the older man who will mentor you and offer you his experience. It has been hard for me to find older men these days, but I have been blessed with several over the years. Timothy is the young man whom you build into. But it’s Barnabas whom I track with the most, aptly described by Hendricks.

    A Barnabas is a soul brother, somebody who loves you but is not impressed by you. Somebody to whom you can be accountable. Somebody who’s willing to keep you honest, who’s willing to say, “Hey, man, you’re neglecting your wife, and don’t give me any guff!”

    What a great description of a true friend. Someone who loves you but is not impressed with you. Believe me these men are not impressed with me. But they love me. They want the best for me. They tell me the truth because I trust them with me and I have given them permission to speak truth with grace. I keep emphasizing the grace part. That is how God desires our community to look. I can only receive real love from you to the extent that you know the truth about who I really am.

    We all have blind spots in our hearts. I need a person who loves me enough to gently point them out.

    I hope you will find the courage to carefully trust someone with everything that is true about you. Maybe it starts with you being that person for someone else, to begin to see how it looks in practice. Finding a friend can be daunting and even paralyzing. Being a friend is something that all of us can do. We need each other. I hope you take the risk to be known. I give the last word(s) to Paul and his message to the church on Colossae. Marinate in these thoughts today.

    Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful. Let the message about Christ, in all its richness, fill your lives.

    Colosssians 3:10-16, NLT

    Portions of this article from my book Stay: Lessons My Dogs Taught Me about Life, Loss, and Grace.