We Need Friends on the Journey

The advent of social media has accentuated the difference between friends and friendships. I have hundreds of Facebook “friends” befriended with a click. It is easy to have friends who know what you like, listen to, and read. But it is hard work and risky to cultivate friendships with people who know who you are when the facade comes down. Real friends are a treasure that we push way too far down the priority list. We sure think a lot about pursuing other treasures on our list. Too many of us don’t prioritize the importance of building real friendships. Honestly, when you have a real crisis, would you rather have a promotion or a pal you could lean on? When heartaches come, would you prefer an award or an ally to walk with you?  In the grand scheme of life, you will have just a handful of real friends. Friends whom you can tell anything or say anything to and not
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When Reality Comes Around…

Please forgive me for driving slowly down memory lane as I approach my 50th high school reunion this month. Soon after graduation I became a disc jockey at 1000 watt “powerhouse” WCHI in Chillicothe, Ohio. This was back in the days of turntables and actual vinyl records. I got to pick my own playlist that was mainly Top-40 pop. Unfortunately my playlist was often influenced by my emotional state. I didn’t realize I was doing that until a friend pointed out that I had thoroughly depressed them with my melancholy melodies that day. I would play “How Can You Mend A Broken Heart” from the Bee Gees followed by “She’s Gone” by Hall and Oates followed by the Carpenters singing “Goodbye to Love”.  Not sure the sponsors (except maybe antidepressant manufacturers and counseling centers) wanted me to be such a musical downer. Another one of my go to songs to bring the listeners down was a song by Irish singer Gilbert
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Lessons from Covid Class

Life is full of wonderful moments and blessings. Life also has it’s share of dark valleys and scary storms. None of us gets out of this life unscathed. In the valleys of my life I have taught myself to step back and ask this question. What can God teach me in this trial about Him or about myself? This seemingly never ending Covid pandemic has been rife with lessons. Lesson #1 Control freaks have learned a really hard truth from Covid-19. It doesn’t matter one whit how much money, power, or prestige you had accumulated by March of 2020 because Covid rudely stole your ability to control your life. It is funny to search the term “control freak” on the internet and find that so many people try to paint being a controlling person as a positive. I have worked with control freaks and I can tell you the experience for those around them is not pleasant. It is a
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“Trash Talking” in Community.

Last week we moved out of the house that our family had called home for thirty years. We experienced a lot of love, laughter, and memories in that house. There was also a lot stuff. Tons and tons of stuff. My amazing wife Joni organized a multi-week campaign leading up to the move to decide what needed to be sold, donated, re-homed, or trashed. It was a daunting task. Last Wednesday marked the final day of Operation Downsize as we finished cleanup at the old house and moved a few things to temporary housing. Several people from our church small group came to help us finish up. At our home church, Waterbrook Bible Fellowship, we call these groups “Home Teams”. We wrapped up some final packing and loaded a few fragile items into friend’s vehicles to be transported. But one embarrassing problem remained. The trash overflowed the capacity of our trash container. The solution was surprising. Several of our friends
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Lean On Me

Life happens, John Lennon famously said, when you are making other plans. Boy has life been happening to us in recent weeks! Waterbrook Bible Fellowship chose the Monday musing topic today. Sunday’s streaming service ended with the song “Lean On Me”. The lyrics might not be found in a dusty old hymnal but the words sung by Bill Withers are spot on for this season. Sometimes in our livesWe all have painWe all have sorrow Lean on me, when you’re not strongAnd I’ll be your friendI’ll help you carry on I write a lot about grace in community. Some say too much. To be honest, I have had moments when I wondered if living in community with messy people is worth it. I have come to understand why legalism is so much easier than grace. Legalism allows me to assess the situation and then apply a verse, assign a task and move away in self-righteous expectation. If that person rejects
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The Redwood Forest Holds a Key to Community

My home church challenged me (and I suppose the rest of the congregation) with a thought provoking theme for 2020. Life On Purpose Pastor Jeff Denton and the staff at Waterbrook Bible Fellowship will be emphasizing being intentional about the important things in our lives. Real growth in relationships, faith, and maturity usually doesn’t just happen. My default is to go with the flow and the rationalizations for that are frighteningly easy. “Officer, I didn’t mean to speed and break the law. I was just going with the flow of traffic.” Think about that. My defense is that everybody else is breaking the law. Therefore, I am innocent. Since the Garden if Eden the automatic answer to sin and shortcomings is that it is someone else’s fault. That may be true at times. But that thinking will never result in becoming like Jesus. So I have to be intentional about confronting my own heart. Change is hard. Sharing my need
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Could the Local Church Learn from Toby Keith’s Bar?

I write a lot about the importance of Christian community. I too often hear from wounded churchgoers that have not found a room of grace where there is freedom to be honest. At the risk of riling the ever present spiritual hall monitors I want to suggest a reason so many people leave the institutional church in frustration and pain. My thoughts were triggered by a song titled  “I Love This Bar” by Toby Keith. If you will hang with me to the end before launching the email barrage I think you will at least see my point. I understand that bars can be a dark place to anesthetize pain. But there is another dynamic of these gathering spots that we can learn from. In my oddly constructed brain I listened to this song and dreamed of what a community of seekers and followers of Jesus should look like. We got winners, we got losersChain smokers and boozersAnd we got
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