The Key to Healthy Relationships

I discovered a couple of years ago that a talented musician/producer/singer/songwriter from my hometown of Chillicothe, Ohio is my second cousin! Jerry Salley’s career in bluegrass, country, and gospel music has been remarkably successful. I am not sure how I missed knowing that but count me grateful I found out. His album, Bridges and Backroads, features a tribute to our mutual hometown of Chillicothe. One song resonates in my heart every time I listen to the album. Without Forgiveness opens during a wedding ceremony as the writer observes the starry-eyed love of a young couple. They are beginning a journey the lyricist knows will not always be idyllic. Relationships are hard and often messy. The chorus of the song sums up what that journey could look like if you choose the path of selfishness and pride. Without forgiveness,Life’s a long and empty road.Without forgiveness,We’d give up and just let go. I’ve had a long term and probably unhealthy envy of songwriters who can say
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Things I Can’t Afford to Forget

I am always saddened by the all out sprint to judgement of people and institutions that make mistakes. It often seems the harshest comments come from people who ought to tap the brakes before they go there. These are folks that have made their own mistakes. Often they were offered second chances. My initial response was self-righteous indignation because, let’s be honest, I am good at that. Eventually the quiet voice of the Spirit reminds me that I have also been that guy who is quick to judge. I am that guy who tries to argue with God about forgiveness and whether someone “deserves” mercy. A little snippet from my book Stay addressed this very issue after Paul threw down an incredible statement to the Ephesian church. How quickly I forget. I forget how much I have been forgiven. I forget how much I am loved by Jesus. I forget that I am a brand new creation. I forget I
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Forgiveness Does Not Appear To Be An Option

I think forgiveness is the most challenging thing Jesus commands us to do. I have tried to argue with God about forgiveness and whether someone “deserves” mercy. Scripture can be so annoying sometimes. Paul threw down an incredible statement to the Ephesian church. Be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.(Ephesians 4:32, NLT) That is a very tall order and one that is impossible to do without remembering how much I have been forgiven. If you say something nasty about me and ask for forgiveness, I will almost certainly grant it. If you do it again and ask forgiveness, I will probably forgive you. If you do the same thing again and ask forgiveness, I will most likely respond ungraciously and ask you to “prove” you are sorry. Yet that illustration is exactly what I do in my relationship with God every day. I have asked Him to forgive the same sin
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The Reset Button We Need For 2022

I think we are just beginning to recognize and unpack the damage caused by the pandemic lock downs. The separation of friends and families from normal interaction has left it’s toll on the culture. I would argue the effect has been even more profound on the church. If you are/were a faithful church participant you had likely bought into the truth that we need one another on this journey. Many of us have sacrificed that gift of one another to this insidious virus. I have seen responses and behaviors from churchgoers that surprised even me and I wrote a book called When Bad Christians Happen to Good People! I think the isolation may have exposed some baggage that had been buried under busyness and routine. More on that in next week’s musing. I am suggesting that we need to admit this separation has had a negative effect on most of us. It feels like patience is in record short supply
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