Charisa Stories

Tag: faith

  • Medicated and Still Unrepentant

    Medicated and Still Unrepentant

    Today’s topic has real potential to rile up the spiritual hall monitors. I expect I might hear from a few of them. Recently I talked to a fellow Christian about depression and anti-depressants. He was resisting trying medication because he felt he wouldn’t be having these problems if he were a “better” Christian. Some folks had told him that he should trust God with his sadness. I agree that bringing our sadness to a compassionate Christ is important. But there can be more to the issue and we, as fellow sojourners in Christ, do a disservice if we merely give depressed friends the “buck-up and do better” pep talk. The old give hundred percent for Jesus challenge can make a sad and lonely person feel even more alone.

    I have some experience with this topic. I am medicated and unrepentant. For years I went through emotional ups and downs that my wife described as my “funks”. She walked on relational eggshells when I was going through these moods. Finally I agreed to see a doctor and try medication. Within two weeks my bride turned to me one morning and uttered a sentence I will never forget.

    “I like you again.”

    She had never stopped loving me but I had become difficult to like at times.

    The medication did a couple of things. It leveled out my moods and helped me to not obsess about problems or problem people. I have since researched the ADD brain and found that my brain scan would look different from most people. Regular readers of these humble ramblings just had a joint response.

    Really? You are not normal? Who knew?

    Moodiness and depression is often caused by brain chemistry that goes askew. In my case the chemical messenger serotonin was not properly regulated. The medication corrected that with pretty amazing results. Not only did my wife like me more (which was a rather huge benefit) but it also helped me discern which struggles were spiritual battles and which ones were brain chemistry issues. That was one of the most liberating experiences in my journey. For years I felt so guilty that I couldn’t shake these emotional blahs by trying harder to trust God with my mood. When my brain chemistry playing field was leveled I could recognize when the problem was truly in my heart.

    Depression can be many things. Medication may not be the answer for everyone and it is not the only tool in the healing toolkit. But it can be a tool that is helpful. I would ask those who are so critical of these medications to answer this question.

    If your cholesterol is too high does it show a lack of trust in God to take medication? Could God not lower your LDL level without the crutch of medication if you simply trusted more? I absolutely believe that God can do that. But I would still do what is medically prudent while believing that God is ultimately in control of my health. My brain chemistry is now stable enough to know that just makes sense. I wonder how that person with bad cholesterol levels would respond if I judged their medical issue as showing a lack of faith and spiritual discipline?

    “Why don’t you mix in some vegetables and trust God to push away from the dessert buffet once in a while? And by the way, don’t be afraid to trust Him to lift your keister off the couch and get some exercise!”

    I think they would rightly take offense to that approach. Yet that is how those who deal with the difficult issue of depression feel when people decide they need to buck up and have more faith to overcome their blues.

    Do you think you might need such help? Ask those who love you and have your back what they think. One of my issues before medication was an inability to see myself accurately. And don’t be too proud to seek that help. Some people need medication and counseling. Some need counseling alone. We all need to be loved and nurtured through God’s Word to walk through the valleys of life. Paul told us we need to walk with others through their current circumstance with grace and love.

    “Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep.” Romans 12:15, NLT

    Paul said to weep with them, not give them homework!

    Joel Scandrett writes these words.

    Antidepressants are a boon to those who truly need them, but they are not a panacea for the human condition.

    Well said. You need to trust Jesus for forgiveness of your sin condition. You need to understand that you are a new creature in Christ and that the Holy Spirit gives you the power to overcome sin. But don’t let a physical condition hinder your spiritual growth because of pride or shame.

    I can say with complete conviction that the medication helps and that frees me to embrace this truth from God’s Word.

    God is (my) refuge and strength,
          always ready to help in times of trouble. (Psalm 46, NLT) 

    Amen. And to all of the spiritual hall monitors I regret to inform you that my cyber mailbox is full. What unfortunate timing.

  • Lessons from Covid Class

    Lessons from Covid Class

    Life is full of wonderful moments and blessings. Life also has it’s share of dark valleys and scary storms. None of us gets out of this life unscathed. In the valleys of my life I have taught myself to step back and ask this question. What can God teach me in this trial about Him or about myself?

    This seemingly never ending Covid pandemic has been rife with lessons.

    Lesson #1

    Control freaks have learned a really hard truth from Covid-19. It doesn’t matter one whit how much money, power, or prestige you had accumulated by March of 2020 because Covid rudely stole your ability to control your life. It is funny to search the term “control freak” on the internet and find that so many people try to paint being a controlling person as a positive. I have worked with control freaks and I can tell you the experience for those around them is not pleasant. It is a suffocating and deflating leadership style.

    Quotes about Control freaks (69 quotes)

    This is a particularly distressing trait for followers of Jesus. I think this unpredictable virus exposed a lot of us. We said we trusted God. We wore t-shirts that boldly proclaimed Faith over Fear. But having our health, financial security, and fellowship with others threatened rocked our faith to the core. The only honest reaction is no matter how hard we try to control things we simply cannot. Only God is in control and our attempts to think otherwise is fool’s gold. Author Wayne Dyer said this about the folly of control.

    “It makes no sense to worry about things you have no control over because there’s nothing you can do about them, and why worry about things you do control? The activity of worrying keeps you immobilized.”

    I have seen that truth played out over and over during this season. People of faith are immobilized by fear and worry. I am not diminishing one iota the reality or seriousness of this virus. I am saying that the One in ultimate control will get me through this crisis just like He has been at my side through every other one. Jesus promised He would be steadfast and present in every moment. Covid has not changed that truth.

    “My sheep recognize my voice. I know them, and they follow me. I give them real and eternal life. They are protected from the Destroyer for good. No one can steal them from out of my hand. The Father who put them under my care is so much greater than the Destroyer and Thief. No one could ever get them away from him. I and the Father are one heart and mind.” (John 10:27-30, The Message)

    I am not in control. Never have been. Never will be. It is nice to know that the one thing I can control is my eternal destiny in Christ.

    Lesson # 2

    We really, really, really need one another. Virtual replaced actual contact and at first that seemed okay. The dictionary definition of virtual is revealing.

    adjective: virtual

    1. almost or nearly as described, but not completely or according to strict definition.

    The key word in that description is ALMOST. Virtual is not the same as real contact. The Zoom meetings and Skype calls only vaguely resemble actual interaction and I was surprised at how quickly that substitute failed to satisfy my need for fellowship.

    God designed us for human relationships when He proclaimed it is not good for us to be alone. Adam didn’t come up with that idea. It was the creator who knew how His creation was wired.

    Henri Nouwen brilliantly summarized the need for community.

    “Christian community is the place where we keep the flame of hope alive among us and take it seriously so that it can grow and become stronger in us.”

    Covid extinguished that flame. We lost that comforting touch or reassuring facial expression that helped fan the flame of hope. Losing community was a bigger deal than most of us imagined. Peter wrote about suffering and even the prospect of the final days. I find it interesting that Peter made this the most important task in those dire circumstances.

    “Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins.” (1 Peter 4:8, NLT)

    We can do that. We can’t control our circumstances. But we can express love through phone calls, messages, and safely distanced encounters. Knowing that you are loved and missed helps a lot. Whenever a person comes to mind send a text or drop a note. You never know how much that brief time detour might mean to someone.

    Lesson #3

    We need to be patient with all of the different responses our fellow sojourners have to this pandemic. This is the hard one for me. There are some really judgmental and harsh indictments of people who view how we should address this virus differently. I really believe that most of us are trying to do the right thing in a very confusing sea of conflicting information. So I default to Paul’s words to the church at Colossae when I feel frustration with some folks responses.

    Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful. Let the message about Christ, in all its richness, fill your lives. Teach and counsel each other with all the wisdom he gives. Sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs to God with thankful hearts. And whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through him to God the Father. (Colossians 3:13-17, NLT)

    If I marinate in that passage it seems that my judgment and frustration melt away allowing grace to bubble up. Those are my lessons from Covid. What have you learned?


  • Signs of the Times

    Signs of the Times

    My daughter-in-law Caroline runs an online sign business called Vine & Branches that features lots of creative, fun, and inspiring designs. Last week I checked in on the online store and received an unexpected blessing. Her latest designs touched my heart and seemed so appropriate for this season we are enduring.

    This is a hard time. Turn on the news and all you see is the threat of disease, disheartening discord, and heartbreaking violence. Fear seems to be the predominant emotion and the embers of that fear get stoked constantly by sensational reporting and angry social media.

    The first sign I saw in the store was a great reminder of God’s character and how trustworthy He is.

    I have been on this planet three score and seven years. Over and over and over I have seen God’s faithful hand during difficult times. I know from His Word that God is faithful to His children even in the darkest storm. The writer of Hebrews gives us a starting point to overcoming fear.

    Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm, for God can be trusted to keep his promise. (Hebrews 10:23, NLT)

    He will keep His promise. We know the Author of the next chapter of our life. We know that God sees us as His beloved, adopted children. We can trust the next chapter when we remember His sovereign Hand is writing our story.

    The next sign reminded me of my ultimate hope and the reason followers of Jesus find victory even in the darkest storms.

    Even in this difficult season there is much beauty and goodness to be found in this world. I love life and I try to find sacred moments every day. But I sense in my spirit that there is something more. Something better that awaits someday.

    C.S. Lewis explained that longing in Mere Christianity.

    “If we find ourselves with a desire that nothing in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that we were made for another world.”

    I believe that. I have hope in the finished work of Christ no matter what my current situation might be.

    The final sign I noted was simple and profoundly true.

    Followers of Jesus have the comfort that God will redeem darkness with light and sadness with joy. Jesus was completely honest about the trials of this world and the hope He offered.

    “I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33, NLT)

    Jesus didn’t come to flatten the curve on sin and death. He overcame it. That is why I can be hopeful when the world looks dark. And that is why I finish this musing referencing the sign I used in the title. Psalm 71:14 offers a way to focus on Him and not on our fear.

    “But I will hope continually
        and will praise you yet more and more.”

    I rarely use this space to endorse a product but I will make an exception this week. You can find beautifully crafted and inspiring signs at Vine & Branches that make wonderful gifts for the upcoming Christmas season or anytime.

  • Concerned? Of course. Afraid? No.

    Concerned? Of course. Afraid? No.

    Watching the news about the potential impact of the Covid-19 virus is depressing and frightening. It is so easy to react with fear about the future. But I can’t get around a constant message from our Lord.

    Do not be afraid.

    Over 80 times you find the phrase “do not be afraid” in the Bible. Perhaps the most relevant example is when Jesus was preparing His followers for His departure. His words are a comforting balm for us today.

    Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. (John 12:27)

    I am concerned about how this pandemic is affecting the world, our country and those I hold dear. But I am not afraid. Honest followers of Jesus know that suffering, hardship, and trials are a part of a fallen world and the refining process of His redeeming grace. Peter was addressing the attacks from the enemy but these words fit perfectly today.

    In his kindness God called you to share in his eternal glory by means of Christ Jesus. So after you have suffered a little while, he will restore, support, and strengthen you, and he will place you on a firm foundation. I Peter 5:10, NLT

    Indeed.

    One of my Dad’s favorite songs comes to mind. “I Know Who Holds Tomorrow” was written in 1950 by a traveling preacher named Ara Stanphill. He wrote the song during a time of agony and extraordinary doubt in his life. Stanphill’s wife battled addiction and left him for other men. You could imagine the gossip that followed him in that era. In the depths of his sadness he began to hum a tune and the next thing he knew he was singing a song. He sang about not knowing what was in the future but knowing that God was with him every step of the way. He rushed to his piano when he arrived at his office and jotted down the words.  I remember hearing Faron Young sing these lyrics on a scratchy vinyl record with my Dad.

    I don’t worry o’er the future,
    For I know what Jesus said.
    And today I’ll walk beside Him,
    For He knows what is ahead.

    Many things about tomorrow
    I don’t seem to understand
    But I know who holds tomorrow
    And I know who holds my hand.

    I believe those words. I don’t know what is going to happen. I am concerned but not afraid. I am also a little peeved that I am more than old enough to be a part of the the high risk group. How did that happen? I will be smart about my health and the health of others. I will follow the directives of medical and political leaders. I will trust in the efforts of caring health professionals to get us through this. But I will put my hope in Jesus. Paul put it well in his letter to the Romans.

    And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:38-39, NLT)

    My friend John Frost texted these words to me this week. “Fear is the virus. Faith is the vaccine.” He was not diminishing the risk or the need to be concerned. He was simply acknowledging what every Christian needs to affirm in this season. We do not need to be afraid. I know who holds tomorrow and I know who holds my hand.

  • When Trying to be a “Good Christian” Feels Like Groundhog Day

    When Trying to be a “Good Christian” Feels Like Groundhog Day

    Every year they rudely awaken Punxsutawney Phil long enough for the prognosticating rodent to let us know whether six more weeks of winter awaits. Phil always looks about as happy as I do when when I am disturbed in the morning. Nearly 30 years ago a funny and underappreciated movie came on the scene. Groundhog Day told the story of a self-absorbed news reporter (redundancy alert?) that finds himself stuck in an endless repeat of the same day. Bill Murray is perfect in the role of reporter Phil Connors. Reporter Phil is less than thrilled that he has been assigned to cover Punxsutawney Phil’s annual peek outside to predict winter’s duration. He feels he is “above” such an inane assignment. Connor’s looks into the camera and cynically reports:

    “This is one time where television really fails to capture the true excitement of a large squirrel predicting the weather.”

    The premise of the movie is that Phil Connors realizes he is doomed to live the same day over and over and over. For Connors, Groundhog Day begins each morning at 6:00 A.M when Sonny & Cher’s “I Got You Babe” blares out from his alarm clock radio. The twist is that his (and only his) memories of the “previous” day remain intact, trapped in a seemingly endless “time loop” to repeat the same day in the same small town.

    Connor has this exchange in the film.

    Phil: What would you do if you were stuck in one place and every day was exactly the same, and nothing that you did mattered?
    Ralph: That about sums it up for me. 

    And that brought to mind another famous Bill Murray quote…this time from Stripes.

    And then depression set in.

    So what is the point of these ramblings? Is it to impress you with my cerebral movie tastes? The point is that too many followers of Jesus are stuck in a Groundhog Day life of their own. They wake up every day and feel trapped in a repeating pattern of frustrating behavior. And then, depression sets in. Why is that? I lived a Groundhog Day kind of faith for years. The Apostle Paul wrote about this very thing (not the giant rodent part…the repeating behavior part) in his letter to the Romans.

    I decide to do good, but I don’t really do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway. My decisions, such as they are, don’t result in actions. Something has gone wrong deep within me and gets the better of me every time. (Romans 7, The Message)

    Wow…can I relate to that. A bit later Paul writes…I’ve tried everything and nothing helps. I’m at the end of my rope. Is there no one who can do anything for me? Isn’t that the real question?

    That is the real question. And there is a real answer offered by Paul.

    The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does. He acted to set things right in this life of contradictions where I want to serve God with all my heart and mind, but am pulled by the influence of sin to do something totally different.

    So what can you do to get out of this sin spiral?

    Nothing.

    Wait!  Don’t let depression set in. This is good news! You and I can’t do it. I am incapable in my own efficacy to escape my spiritual Groundhog Day. Only Jesus can enable me to escape this endless loop of frustration. Further advice from Paul follows in Chapter 8 of his amazing letter to the Romans.

    But if God himself has taken up residence in your life, you can hardly be thinking more of yourself than of him. 

    Allow the truth of that verse to soak in.

    Want to get out of your Groundhog Day existence? Most readers of these humble ramblings realize they couldn’t deal with their sin separation from God on their own. We needed Jesus. So why do we think we can deal with our ongoing sin issues on our own? When the Father looks at me on my very worst day this is what He sees.

    Jesus.

    That is step one. I don’t have to clean up the sin to please God. He loves me already because of Jesus. Step Two. I am learning daily to recognize that the Spirit of God has taken up residence in my life. I am learning that I am the one who limits His power by restricting access and not trusting Him with my thoughts and actions. I am learning that I don’t need to wake up to the frustrating effects of repeated self-effort. I can wake up trusting God, trusting that Jesus has my sin covered and trusting that the Spirit of God will allow me to resolve that sin. Trusting God and what His Word says to be true allows me to escape the Groundhog Day syndrome.

    The moral of the movie Groundhog Day was that Phil Connor needed to learn that he was self-absorbed and dependent on his selfish efforts to get ahead. The moral of the spiritual groundhog day is to learn that we cannot depend on our self efforts to live a joyful and free Christian life. I come to Jesus by grace and total dependence. I live for Jesus by grace and total dependence. While the other groundhog is busy predicting weather I would suggest you try this for the next six weeks. When the alarm jars you awake remember this truth. Instead of the Sonny and Cher song you can sing “I Got You Lord”. The two of you can end this “Groundhog Day” of frustration. I can’t help you with the weather.

    My latest book, Waking Up Slowly, can be used as a 21 Day Journey to become more connected with God, one another and yourself.

    Waking Up Slowly_Cover

    No resolutions…just grace suggestions based on God’s Word. Would you join me on that journey in 2020? Click here to check it out.

  • Can We All Move to Mr Roger’s Neighborhood?

    Can We All Move to Mr Roger’s Neighborhood?

    The day after a wonderful Thanksgiving Eve family gathering we checked out the new movie about the iconic children’s star Fred Rogers. A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood is based on the real life relationship between Rogers and Esquire magazine writer Tom Junod.

    In the movie the cynical journalist has been renamed Lloyd Vogel. Known for his unflinching exposes of people and events, Vogel chafes when receiving an assignment to do a “puff-piece” on television’s Mr. Rogers. Vogel approaches this story determined to find out if this gentle man is a fake. His skepticism prompts one of the best exchanges in the movie with his long suffering wife.

    Lloyd Vogel: I’m profiling Mr. Rogers.
    Andrea Vogel: Lloyd, please don’t ruin my childhood.

    I will not offer any spoilers. I will say the movie was not what I expected. It was much, much more.

    I have a confession to make and an apology to offer. I was “too cool” for Mr. Rogers. I mocked his sweater, slippers, and unique delivery. As a fellow Christian I am sorry I did not see what the one time aspiring Presbyterian minister was creating in his special neighborhood.

    Fred Rogers took the truths of grace and quietly created a place of acceptance and safety.

    His principles are straight out of the Gospel. And like the Jesus he studied in seminary Rogers also chose to focus his patient words toward children and those who could be tough to love.

    Fred Roger’s offered this wisdom to Vogel. “I think the best thing we can do is to let people know that each one of them is precious.” That is the overriding theme of the Gospel. That Jesus was willing to give up His life for every person because they are precious.

    There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. John 15:13, NLT

    In this neighborhood Fred Roger’s addressed the difficult topic of forgiveness. “Forgiveness is a strange thing. It can sometimes be easier to forgive our enemies than our friends. It can be hardest of all to forgive people we love. Like all of life’s important coping skills, the ability to forgive and the capacity to let go of resentments most likely take root very early in our lives.”

    It is hard to imagine what a cultural bombshell this teaching was from Jesus. “Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.”

    And Jesus told the mind boggling parable of the Prodigal Son who did every single thing wrong and slithered home to find his father running to embrace and welcome him back to the family. Why? Because he was precious in his father’s eyes.

    Roger’s smile radiated as he repeated this line over and over. “I like you just the way you are.” You didn’t have to try and be someone different to be in his neighborhood. And you don’t have to do anything special to be welcomed in the into the family of Jesus. Simply bring your need and trust. Just the way you are.

    Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. Matthew 11:28-29, NLT

    Fred Rogers never shied away from tough topics like divorce, death, and pain. “There is no normal life that is free of pain. It’s the very wrestling with our problems that can be the impetus for our growth.”

    Contrary to the heretical prosperity teaching of some, Jesus never once said this journey would be without pain. He did give a priceless promise that gives me hope.

    33 I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.” John 16:33, NLT

    None of us gets out of this life unscathed. Followers of Jesus have the hope that those trials will be redeemed as we grow more like Him. Perhaps one of the greatest truths of grace is summed up by Rogers

    “Knowing that we can be loved exactly as we are gives us all the best opportunity for growing into the healthiest of people.”

    That is what grace does in the journey of a believer. Because of Jesus we are a new creation, loved exactly as we are on our best or worst days, forgiven and loved as His precious child.

    Jesus also had something to say about neighbors.

    “…an expert in religious law, tried to trap him with this question: 36 “Teacher, which is the most important commandment in the law of Moses?”

    37 Jesus replied, “‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’[e] 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’

    I can’t believe I didn’t recognize the principles of grace that Fred Rogers instilled through characters and stories into his gentle neighborhood. As I left the movie I voiced a minor complaint to Joni.

    “That was really powerful but I wish they would have made a bigger deal out of his faith.”

    Her reply was spot on. “He didn’t make a big deal out of his faith. He just lived it.”

    And maybe that is the biggest message Fred Rogers left with his fellow believers in Christ. Maybe we should quit worrying about how others view our faith or if we are getting a cultural fair shake. Maybe we just need to live it.




  • Perspective

     

    I recently visited a large rehabilitation hospital for patients dealing with spinal cord injuries, strokes and traumatic brain trauma. As I walked  toward my car I noticed two young men in wheelchairs chatting near the entrance. I overheard a snippet of conversation that rocked my day. The tone was not bitter nor sad. This is the sentence I overheard.

    “I would give it all up just to be able to scuba dive one more time.”

    What this young man once did without thought or difficulty now was a nearly impossible dream. My heart was pierced. Just that morning I had fussed about a balky hip and yet I was walking freely to my car. I often thought about an aching shoulder but I had freedom to lift and move. All of us take so much for granted. Since that encounter I think of that young man when my hip or shoulder aches. I say a quick prayer of thanksgiving for the health I am blessed with today. But this awareness will wear off. It always does. That makes me sad. But it also makes me human.

    Jesus knows all about our frailties. How we worry about things that really don’t matter.

    “That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn’t life more than food, and your body more than clothing? Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are? Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?” Matthew 6, NLT

    My friend Ray Pritchard posted a little prayer years ago that I loved so much that my wife got it framed. It sits by my bathroom sink and I need to review it more closely each morning.

    Heavenly Father,

    You are in charge of everything that will happen to me today – the good and the bad, the happy and the sad, the positive and the negative. Please make me thankful for everything that happens to me today.

    Amen