Singer Dan Fogelberg was one of my favorite singer/songwriters. Every Father’s Day I think about a song written about his dad called “Leader of the Band”. Fogelberg’s father was a musician and he passed that talent down to Dan. Parts of the lyric made me think of my Dad in his final years..
The leader of the band is tired and his eyes are growing old
But his blood runs through my instrument and his song is in my soul
I thank you for the music and your stories of the road
I thank you for the freedom when it came my time to go
I thank you for the kindness and the times when you got tough
And, papa, I don’t think I said ‘I love you’ near enough
My Dad knew how much I loved him. Still I wish I had told him more often. But this is the portion of the song that continues to impact me as a son.
My life has been a poor attempt to imitate the man
I’m just a living legacy to the leader of the band
My Dad was a wonderful, kind, loving, and sometimes flawed man. He was not perfect but his overall story was powerful. I hope I am following his legacy of joy, kindness and love that he modeled so well. I realize with each passing year how much the leader of the pack impacted me. Every dad impacts the lives of their children. The question is how. Children listen only sometimes but they are always watching. My Dad probably never realized how closely I was watching.
The last time I saw my father he left me with a memory that will stay with me till I join him in eternity. His condition had worsened considerably after a stroke. When I walked into the hospital room Dad’s eyes came alive and he grabbed my hand with an intensity that clearly communicated that he knew me.
Our family had encountered one difficult employee at the hospital. She had done nothing helpful and she had done nothing with a bad attitude. I looked at my sister Sherry as I held my Father’s hand and said, “We don’t have to take that crap!” To my surprise out of that shell that was my Dad came a very clear and loud response…”I taught you that!”
Those were the final words that he spoke to me. And yes…you did teach me that Dad. And you taught me a whole lot more. You taught me that all of God’s children are to be valued unrelated to color or position. That everyone is important and deserves to be treated with dignity.
You taught me the concept of grace. When I was in junior high I somehow manage to establish “credit” at a hobby store. I ran up a debt that was monumental in those days. When you found out I was terrified. But you taught me that grace means unmerited forgiveness for obvious guilt. You taught me there is a difference between mistakes of ignorance and willful wrongdoing. You taught me what forgiveness looks like and what it means for someone to pay for your mistakes out of unconditional love with no strings attached. I got a little foretaste of how Jesus would pay a debt for me that I could not pay later on in my life.
You taught me that humor is a gift from God. That laughing at life and especially at your self makes it a whole lot easier to deal with daily frustrations.
You taught me a lot Dad. And I will be forever grateful. Perhaps most importantly, you taught me what it looks like to be ready to die. You taught me how to put your family at ease by clearly and consistently letting us know that you were ready to meet Jesus.
God’s Word consistently paints an image of God as our Father. Many people struggle with that picture because they can only relate to an angry, dominating or selfish father. I am so grateful that I had a dad that helped me to understand the real love of a father and what that means when God says I am His child. But I pray that you will believe the love our Father in Heaven even if the earthly role model was not ideal.
How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!
And that is what we are! –1 John 3:1
That is what we are! A child of God our loving Father. That is a pretty good thing to meditate on for Father’s Day.
