Charisa Stories

Tag: Jesus

The Devastating Toll of Anxiety and Worry

I see a lot of worried people around me. Worried about the pandemic. Worried about the national division. Worried about international tensions. Worried about all kinds of things. But this old proverb rings true today.

“Worry is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do but it doesn’t get you anywhere.”

As I get older I experience more and more how practical Scripture is for daily living. In the teaching of my youth the Bible was a book of lofty and seemingly impossible demands to behave in a way that would please God. Now I see that the Bible is a love story where Jesus met those impossible demands on my behalf. I see now that my simple faith and trust pleases God. And I see a practical book that shows me how to find joy during this temporary journey on earth. The Designer knew when we left the factory that worry is destructive. The study above merely confirms what Jesus said a couple of millenia ago.

“That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn’t life more than food, and your body more than clothing? Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are? Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?” (Matthew 6:25-27, NLT)

Jesus continues in the same message.

“So don’t worry about these things, saying, ‘What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?’ These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need. So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.” (Matthew, 6:31-34)

Our Designer knew something else. Most of what we consume ourselves with never happens or is not worth getting anxious about. Modern research verifies ancient wisdom.

A research study examined how many times an imagined calamity actually came to pass. In this study, subjects were asked to write down their worries over an extended period of time and then identify which of their imagined misfortunes did not actually happen.

The remarkable results came back that 85 percent of what subjects worried about never happened! Slow down and digest that. Eighty-five percent of what we work ourselves into varied states of frenzy about never even happens. And here is the even more remarkable finding. For the 15 percent of the worry agenda that did happen, nearly 80 percent of the respondents reported they were able to deal with the concern better than expected or they learned a valuable lesson from the event. So 97 percent of what the majority of this study group worried about was not worth wasting the energy, faith and time.

Worry is exactly where the Enemy wants to keep the children of God. Living in fear of the future cheats you out of today. A precious moment tugs on your heart like a child at your sleeve. Too often you miss that moment concerning yourself with something that likely won’t happen or will happen in a way that your worry can not change.

For those of you who struggle with worry maybe it helps to remember that your Heavenly Father is always on the job. Worry is not an attribute of our God. I suspect that it grieves His heart that we are paralyzed with worry when our Father is calling us to know Him, trust Him and rest in Him.

Trusting Jesus for tomorrow, next week, next year and forever frees us to see what this moment holds. No amount of worry will change the fact that we will face death, adversity and sadness.

As a young believer one of my favorite artists was Andrae Crouch. His lyrics powerfully showed how God uses trials to help us mature in our faith.

I’ve had many tears and sorrows
I’ve had questions for tomorrow
There’s been times I didn’t know right from wrong
But in every situation
God gave me blessed consolation
That my trials come to only make me strong

Through it all
Through it all
I’ve learned to trust in Jesus
I’ve learned to trust in God

Through it all
Through it all
I’ve learned to depend upon His Word

I pray that all of us learn to trust in Jesus and depend upon His Word in this difficult season.

Much of this article was excerpted from Waking Up Slowly. The book discusses 21 different actions or attitudes that disconnect you from God and others. Check it out here.

January 24, 2022
Time For A Heart Demo Day?

Fixer Upper with Chip and Joanna Gaines has made Waco, Texas a tourist destination. Who saw that coming? People come from all over the country to visit the Magnolia Silos, shops, and restaurant. One of the fun parts of every Fixer Upper episode is “Demo Day”. Joanna evaluates the home to see what needs to go. Sometimes a wall needs to be knocked down. Sometimes a kitchen island is removed. Sometimes cabinets or shelves are destroyed and more stylish and efficient units are put in place. Sometimes floors are ripped up and foundations shored up.

Chip Gaines loves demolition day. He comes in wielding a sledge hammer and a gigantic smile as he destroys sheet rock and fixtures.

If you didn’t know what the end goal was it would look like vandalism. Knocking down a wall and leaving an enormous mess doesn’t look like a great plan at first glance. It is only when you see how removing that wall opens up the room that you see the method to Chip’s hammering madness. It is only when you see the beautiful remake of a kitchen that you understand why the original island and cabinets were smashed into kindling. The deconstruction makes sense only when you see how much better the house looks and functions afterwards.

More than ever it feels like we need the Holy Spirit to be the fixer-upper of our hearts. The divisions in our church and culture have made the need for heart renewal urgent. Our cry should echo the Psalmist.

Create in me a clean heart, O God.
Renew a loyal spirit within me. (Psalm 51:10, NLT)

We should all desire a clean heart that allows the Holy Spirit to move unencumbered in our lives. But the truth is we probably all need a demo day now and then. Maybe you need to knock down some walls of pride that keep the Spirit of God from moving freely in our hearts. God desires to give His children grace to love and forgive others. But sometimes we have to clear some space.

And he gives grace generously. As the Scriptures say,

“God opposes the proud
but gives grace to the humble.” (James 4:6. NLT)

Demolish the walls of pride to make space for humility and your heart will become a much more friendly place for your family, friends, and community.

Perhaps you need to rearrange some things in your heart. Clear out those cabinets that stored worthless things and rebuild it with lots of storage for God’s Word.

I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you. (Psalm 119:11, NET)

The demo process can be messy. But if you are committed to clearing out walls and strongholds that hinder your walk with the Lord I am convinced He will meet you there to reconstruct a clean heart. Don’t be afraid of demo days. Maybe we should show up with a smile of trust on our face knowing that God’s rebuild is worth the mess.

January 17, 2022
The Broken Road Can Be A Blessing

Somehow the normal promise of a new year seems muted by the ongoing negative news. The sadness, division, and fear of the past couple of years feels like it will be here forever. How can you navigate the broken roads of this world?

A song titled Bless the Broken Road was made popular by Rascal Flatts and the lyrics describe how difficulties are often teaching moments for future blessings.

I set out on a narrow way, many years ago
Hoping I would find true love, along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two, wiped my brow and kept pushing through

It is so interesting to look back over the landscape of over four decades (yikes) of my journey with Jesus. I can see God’s hand in so many events and even heartbreak in my life. My early church experience was a broken road of legalistic and judgmental Christians who crushed the spirit of a young and fumbling Christian. That experience became the basis of my books. Sadly, many of us bear the wounds of dealing with imperfect people in the sometimes dysfunctional little gathering we call church. Still, God blessed that broken road in my life by bringing the message of grace into my journey.

The broken road for me included the devastating death of a beloved nephew many years ago. At that point I was at a crossroads in my faith. I would either turn my back on God or get serious in my pursuit of Him. Along that broken road God brought a man named Wendel Deyo into my life. His life challenged me and he helped me stay on the narrow way. That relationship led to my association with Athletes in Action. And while on staff with AIA I met the lovely Joni Banks and we were married in 1976. And again, God blessed a broken road.

This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you
Yes He did

It is hard to imagine life without Joni. Her cancer forced me to realize the possibility of that. I am so grateful that she is a sixteen year survivor and that she persevered in our relationship.

I think about the years I spent, just passin’ through
I’d like to have the time I lost, and give it back to you

I remember with great sadness the years I spent working too much, taking my bride for granted, telling her that the schedule would soon “ease up”. But it rarely did. I really wish I had that time back. I would give it to her in a heartbeat.

Another thing I stress to young couples and parents is make time for your mate and your children. It took me too long to realize the truth that our schedule reflects our priorities. But somehow Joni hung with me. She had traveled her own broken road.

But you just smile and take my hand, you’ve been there you understand
It’s all part of a grander plan, that is comin’ true

The journey is not easy. Never will be. One of the big mistakes we make in sharing our faith is making it seem like all troubles are over when you embrace Christianity. That is not in the contract. We will still have problems and heartaches and even tragedies. The past year has challenged most of us and has been absolutely heartbreaking for many. King David wrote these words while escaping down a broken road.

The LORD is close to the brokenhearted;
he rescues those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18

How can we best navigate our broken roads? We can learn from the story of Joshua who had the unenviable task of taking over for Moses to lead the people of Israel into the Promised Land. He had to feel inadequate and maybe even terrified. Moses had the wisdom of his many years to share with Joshua.

Then Moses called for Joshua, and as all Israel watched, he said to him, “Be strong and courageous! For you will lead these people into the land that the Lord swore to their ancestors he would give them. You are the one who will divide it among them as their grants of land. ⁸Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you; he will neither fail you nor abandon you.” (Deuteronomy 31:7-8, NLT)

Moses was not saying that Joshua should be strong and courageous because of his great leadership ability or the strong army at his command. Moses did not say he should not be afraid or discouraged because he had been carefully groomed to take over. The reason for that hope was simple and profoundly true today. The Lord will be with you and He will neither fail you nor abandon you.

No matter how broken the road you are traveling might be you can know that your Father is with you in the struggle. Don’t be afraid to continue down the broken road. God promises to go with you. Always.

January 2, 2022
The Miracle in the Manger

One of my contributions with these modest little musings is to continually ask the tough questions.

While listening to “Away in a Manger” my inquiring mind kicked in. You likely know verse three of the song.

The cattle are lowing
The poor Baby wakes
But little Lord Jesus
No crying He makes

As I listened an important series of difficult and probing inquiries popped into my head. What noise, exactly, were the cattle making when they started lowing? Was this normal cow talk? Did lowing just sound better than mooing in the lyric or is lowing a more spiritual and reverent cow sound? And then the most important question came to mind. What is wrong with me?

I can’t answer the last question but I can help with the others. Lowing is defined at dictionary.com as “the characteristic sound uttered by cattle; a moo”.

So little baby Jesus was awakened by the characteristic sound uttered by a cow. That would not have flowed well in the lyric so I understand using lowing. The next part of the song is disturbing to those of us who are parents. If any of the babies who grew up in our household were awakened by cattle lowing they would be squalling (defined as “the characteristic sound uttered by a ticked off baby; a scream”).

I remember as a child singing “Away in a Manger” and picturing the baby Jesus with this beatific smile on his face and a little halo hovering over his head. My images of the baby Jesus were indeed childish. But I wonder if we don’t carry a little of that flawed perspective about the “Baby Jesus” into our adult Christian journey.

This Christmas why not take a little time to think about the implications of the incarnation. That nice little theological word is used to denote when the second person of the Trinity assumed human form in the person of Jesus Christ and became both fully God and fully man. C.S. Lewis called the incarnation “the Grand Miracle.” He wrote: “The central miracle asserted by Christians is the Incarnation…. Every other miracle prepares for this, or exhibits this, or results from this…. It was the central event in the history of the Earth–the very thing that the whole story has been about”.

By a miracle that passes human comprehension, the Creator entered his creation, the Eternal entered time, God became human–in order to die and rise again for the salvation of all people. “He comes down; down from the heights of absolute being into time and space, down into humanity; down further still … (to) the womb … down to the very roots and sea-bed of the Nature He has created. But He goes down to come up again and bring the whole ruined world up with Him” (Miracles, C.S. Lewis).

Take a moment to meditate on the mystery of that. Fully God and fully man. I am sure the little Lord Jesus would have had the normal response to being awakened by any cow noise…lowing or other. His swaddling clothes had to be changed just like any baby.

How does that affect me this Christmas? Because God became flesh I can relate to a Savior that understands the frailties of my flesh. Because the Creator understands His creation I can be sure that God understands my pain, frustration and loneliness. It is difficult for me to relate to an invisible God. That is the miracle of God becoming man. I can relate to Jesus because He has walked in my sandals. Joni and I were always appreciative and blessed when people expressed love and care while she was battling breast cancer. But when a breast cancer survivor expressed that love it connected on a different level. They had been there, felt the fear, fought the tiring battle and traveled the long road. That is the sovereign genius of the incarnation. We can relate to God in flesh in a way that is different. When I suffer I know that Jesus understands. He has been there. When I am lonely or feeling betrayed I can know (in my finite ability) that He understands. When I am joyful and laughing He understands. By becoming like me I can believe that Jesus can empathize with me on a different level. Because I know He gets it then I also get it. God loves me and Jesus has my back.

My dear children, I am writing this to you so that you will not sin. But if anyone does sin, we have an advocate who pleads our case before the Father. He is Jesus Christ, the one who is truly righteous. (1 John 2, NLT)

Jesus became our advocate and our path to salvation when He arrived on earth. The miracle in the manger was not Jesus ignoring whatever cow sound they were making. The miracle was God becoming flesh.

Merry Christmas!

December 24, 2021
My Grown Up Christmas Wish Is Available To Everyone

Amy Grant recorded “My Grown-up Christmas List” for her “Home For Christmas” album. The lyrics imagine an adult going back to Santa with a different perspective on what matters most in life. Instead of material things the writer now asks for good things for others. I love the sentiment of the song.

No more lives torn apart
That wars would never start
And time would heal all hearts
Everyone would have a friend
And right would always win
And love would never end
This is my grown-up Christmas list
I thought about my “grown-up” Christmas list this week. I would love for all of the things in the lyric above to come true. But I have lived enough to know they will not. Everyday lives are torn apart. Wars start too frequently. Time does not heal every heart. Some who are reading this are lonely. Right seems to lose way too often and love ends for many.
So what could I wish for that would be available for all? My grown-up Christmas list would have one simple wish. That every person would truly understand the outrageous grace gift that God offers to each one of us. All we have to do is open that gift in faith. Christmas is when the gift came to earth wrapped in swaddling clothes.
I wish that everyone who hears the Gospel message would comprehend the one way love that God demonstrated. Instead of turning His back on sinners who deserved just that God chose to reach out to His creation with a radical plan for forgiveness. A plan that is unlike any other religion in history. Man made religion always demands something to earn salvation. God’s plan for redemption requires the lost to bring nothing to the table other than their sin and the need for salvation. Nothing.
God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it. (Ephesians 2:8-9, NLT)
Not a single requirement other than believing. A gift of grace. Grace that is so vast and inexhaustible that no sin or sinner can exceed the scope of this amazing grace to cover their sin and redeem them. I coined an acronym for grace that only partially captures the enormity of God’s love.
God’s Radical And Complete Embrace.
God initiates salvation. The plan is so radical that it feels otherworldly. Salvation is complete and God’s embrace shows His desire to know us as His beloved children.
I wish that everyone who believes the Gospel would truly believe that they are a brand new creation. Recreated as a saint with complete freedom in Christ. Adopted as a child of God. Forgiven forever. And that all of those things are completely true because of Jesus.
I wish I could give those things to everyone on my list. Life will give us sadness, loss and loneliness but trust in Jesus gives us hope in the darkest storm. It started with the baby we celebrate at Christmas. The gift of forgiveness and hope is available to everyone.

December 12, 2021
Feeling Like a Misfit this Christmas?

Christmas really is the most wonderful time of the year. I love the music, the memories, the traditions, and the chance to annually think about Burl Ives.

His memory returns with the annual airing of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. Ives is the voice of Sam the Snowman who narrates the “enhanced” story of Rudolph.

Rudolph and his elf buddy Hermey don’t fit in with the others. Rudolph looks different than his peers. Hermey is not interested in making toys. In an odd plot twist, Hermey wants to be a dentist. Not surprisingly, his elf supervisor is upset with the unproductive Hermey. So the two outcasts set off to find their purpose and a place to be accepted.

The part of the story that resonates with me these days is when Hermey and Rudolph find their way to the Island of Misfit Toys. All of the toys on this island are castoffs because they are flawed and deemed worthless. There is a “Charlie in the Box” and a train with square wheels. A boat that sinks in water and a squirt gun that shoots jelly. All of these flawed toys are banished to the Island of Misfit Toys simply because they are different.

That is how I picture so many sad and tired followers of Jesus. They see themselves as misfits. They believe they are flawed and not worth much of anything. They have allowed a perceived idea of what a “good” Christian should look like to cause them to feel like they don’t measure up. The doubts overwhelm them. Discouraged followers of Christ start thinking thoughts like these.

I don’t have theological training.
I can’t sing well.
I am not a good teacher.
I am afraid to share my faith.
I feel awkward in groups.
I am not a leader.
I don’t have much to offer.

But that is not how the Bible describes a follower of Christ. Every Christian is described as being part of the body of Christ. Scripture makes it clear that every part of the body of Christ is vital to the healthy function of the church. Henri Nouwen wrote that every follower of Jesus has a God designed role.

“We seldom realize fully that we are sent to fulfill God-given tasks. . . . We act as if we were simply dropped down in creation and have to decide how to entertain ourselves until we die. But we were sent into the world by God, just as Jesus was. Once we start living our lives with that conviction, we will soon know what we were sent to do.”

So if you are feeling like a misfit toy this Christmas season you can trust this truth. You have a divine purpose. God does not make misfits. He creates people in His image with value and great worth. Satan would like you to retreat to your own island of misfits to feel sad and worthless. But God has another gathering place in mind.

The Island of Grace. On that island you are not a misfit. You are a beloved child of God. You are a saint. And in this wonderful place there are no misfits. Every blemish makes you more valuable, not less. Brokenness makes you more beautiful. The miracle of Christmas makes us friends to the King. Paul made that abundantly clear with these words of encouragement to the Church in Rome.

So now we can rejoice in our wonderful new relationship with God because our Lord Jesus Christ has made us friends of God. (Romans 5, NLT)

Friend of God? Hard to feel like a misfit if you believe that is true. Open that gift this year and keep it close to your heart.

Merry Christmas!

December 6, 2021
We Need Friends on the Journey

The advent of social media has accentuated the difference between friends and friendships. I have hundreds of Facebook “friends” befriended with a click. It is easy to have friends who know what you like, listen to, and read. But it is hard work and risky to cultivate friendships with people who know who you are when the facade comes down.

Real friends are a treasure that we push way too far down the priority list. We sure think a lot about pursuing other treasures on our list. Too many of us don’t prioritize the importance of building real friendships. Honestly, when you have a real crisis, would you rather have a promotion or a pal you could lean on? When heartaches come, would you prefer an award or an ally to walk with you?

In the grand scheme of life, you will have just a handful of real friends. Friends whom you can tell anything or say anything to and not be rejected. Friends who will drop everything when you need them.

Joni and I have many friends and that is a blessing. But the “real” friend roll call is shorter. Relationships like that take time and investment. I believe you have to go through a variety of experiences together to really get to that next level of friendship. You don’t really know a person until you go through adversity with him or her. That is not something you can plan or force. Joni’s cancer journey thinned our friend “herd” a bit as we learned who was there when we were at our worst. But God brought others into our lives who were willing to be real and present.

There is something powerfully healing and affirming about having someone in your life with whom you can drop the pretense. Many of us harbor the secret fear that if our friends found out everything that was true about us they would drop us in horrified indignation and run for the hills. But what if that is one more lie from the Deceiver? What if we could develop relationships of trust and grace where exactly the opposite occurred? What if the revelation of the truth about us caused our friends to love us more? What if we trusted a few with who we really are? I know some of you might be checking out right now because you have been deeply hurt by someone you trusted who did not deserve that trust. I have been there.

God designed this journey of life to be lived in community. It’s the description of the early church.

They joined with the other believers and devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and fellowship, sharing in the Lord’s Supper and in prayer. A deep sense of awe came over them all, and the apostles performed many miraculous signs and wonders. And all the believers met together constantly and shared everything they had. They sold their possessions and shared the proceeds with those in need. They worshiped together at the Temple each day, met in homes for the Lord’s Supper, and shared their meals with great joy and generosity—all the while praising God and enjoying the goodwill of all the people. And each day the Lord added to their group those who were being saved.

Acts 2:42-47

We were created to be in a community with other believers. Because of our unity in Christ, we are to embrace those different from ourselves. That’s what makes a church dynamic to a person who experiences grace and acceptance for the first time. And that is why church can be devastating when the congregation becomes selective, judgmental, and legalistic. Anne Lamott shares a thought-provoking observation: “You can safely assume you’ve created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do.”

That is both an ouch and an amen statement. When differences result in judgment, what we thought was a safe place instead becomes the biggest betrayal of all. When we become “experienced” Christians, something seems to happen. We can lose touch with our former brokenness and sinfulness and desperate need to be forgiven and accepted. That is when the pretense begins that our holiness is based on performance instead of complete dependence on Christ.

I know that finding and living in real community in our culture isn’t easy. I understand how easy it is to want to throw in the towel. The truth is that we need community, even if we’ve been hurt by bad relationships in the past. If you aren’t in a community of grace, it may be time to ask God to lead you to such a place. I know that can be daunting. It took me a long time to find such a place. It took me a longer time to realize how God was redeeming every hurt, every slight, and every trial. Eventually, I was able to see how He’d been preparing me, especially through those hard times, to embrace and welcome grace in a whole new way. That is best experienced in a community of fellow Jesus followers. I know it isn’t easy but it is definitely worth the effort.

This is an excerpt from Stay: Lessons My Dogs Taught Me about Life, Loss, and Grace. Looking for an unique Christmas gift? How about an autographed copy of Stay, Grunt the Runt, Waking Up Slowly, or Between the White Lines. All books ordered before December 15th at my online store will be autographed. Click here to order.

November 29, 2021