Charisa Stories

Tag: Love enemies

  • Why Would You Want To Be A Troublesome Christian?

    Because of my career path in secular television I have a lot of people very dear to me who do not share my faith and hope in Jesus. Some are simply disinterested. Some think their good works will outweigh their bad deeds and they will be granted entry to Heaven. Some think that faith in God is a foolish pursuit that no intellectually honest person would consider. Some have witnessed horrible actions of people claiming to be Christians. Some have experienced harsh and legalistic religious types who make living a life of faith miserable and emotionally damaging. Some are pushed away by those who share sincere beliefs in a way that does not show the love of God. 

    Any combination of these factors can cause people to step away or not pursue what it means to follow Jesus. I get it. I have struggled with many of those things over my long journey of faith.

    Brennan Manning wrote this very convicting observation. “The greatest single cause of atheism in the world today is Christians who acknowledge Jesus with their lips, walk out the door, and deny Him by their lifestyle. That is what an unbelieving world simply finds unbelievable.” 

    It is easy to dismiss the hypocrite. No problem to ignore the angry and judgmental religious types. But before I came to faith I was troubled when I saw some Christians who displayed something different in their lives. I could not dismiss so readily the joy, peace, strength, courage, and love they modeled. They were “troublesome” Christians to me.  I could not ignore them because their lives were authentic and different (different good, not weird). 

    I wanted to be that kind of Christian. That is what any follower of Jesus should pray to become. Troublesome. When others look at your life they see kindness and grace when the circumstances call for anything but that response. That is troublesome to those observers. Or how about being a positive light when you are going through a difficult valley?
    Our spiritual season today is divisive because many in the church are losing focus on Jesus. You can be a “troublesome” Christian by listening to and loving those you disagree with. The truth must be presented through grace and love and through the guidance of the Holy Spirit. There must be unity in Christ first and then we can pursue political reconciliation with the proper light to guide us.

    Another way to impact those around you is to love and serve without looking for anything in return. That is being a “troublesome” Christian by simply following the commandment of Jesus.

    “So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.”
    ‭‭John‬ ‭13‬:‭34‬-‭35‬, NLT

    That was not a helpful suggestion. Jesus made that command the cornerstone of following Him and the powerful way to prove that to others. So that is my desire. To love others as I have been loved by Jesus and be a “troublesome” Christian to those who aren’t sure about following Him. You can Google yourself away from faith by looking to find people who claim to follow Jesus and have failed dramatically. The Enemy makes sure we find those people and then encourages us to focus on that. What the Enemy tries to hide are the millions of faithful and loving followers of Jesus who make a difference every day without any fanfare or credit. They can be troublesome to those who desire to dismiss Jesus. I encountered troublesome believers in my early season of doubt who caused me to examine why they were so different, loving, kind, and graceful. God used them to open my heart toward Him. I want to be a troublesome Christian that God can use for His glory. And I want every bit of the credit to go where it should go. 

    Jesus.

  • How To Use A Biblical GPS To Avoid Conversation Crashes

    I made a conscious decision a few years ago to focus on communicating the message of grace and identity in Christ. With that I decided to avoid the polarizing path of politics. Some have told me that is cowardly but I can honestly say there is no message more important to me than the liberating freedom of grace. I want to share the joy of living out of what Jesus has already accomplished and what God says is true about me. 

    I feel called to be a messenger of hope and grace. Plus I feel like the political commentator team has a pretty full roster of contributors. But how does grace enter into the conversation when we have sincere disagreements over cultural and political issues? It is fascinating how two people can look at the same information and reach completely opposite conclusions. So I am going to offer a Grace Practicing Strategy (GPS) as a roadmap for civil discussion and shining the love of Jesus for others. Follow this pathway and your odds of arriving safely and gracefully increase greatly.

    • Sincere followers of Jesus can look at cultural or political issues and have very different opinions. Jesus loves His children on both sides of the argument.

    I know I have changed my views on some cultural issues over my years of walking with Jesus. I was a child in the era when divorce was a mortal sin. I absolutely am committed to the idea of a husband and wife taking their vows seriously. But I learned that the cultural shame of divorce caused many Christian women to feel trapped in relationships of abuse. Clearly that was not the desire of a loving Heavenly Father who ordained marriage. In those sad situations it is necessary to divorce an abusive spouse. In the pulpits of my youth the message was no divorce outside of adultery was ever justified. I had a blind spot about how a declaration that appeared Biblical could foster abuse. So many issues we discuss have similar and complex nuances. We need to discuss, not demonize.

    • The goal of a discussion should not just be to win.

    Thoughtful discussion is impossible when one of the participants only cares about winning the debate. The goal of any conversation should be a graceful exchange of ideas without rude interruptions, condescending gestures, or angry exchanges. I would rather have a goal of being winsome instead of winning. That attitude fosters conversation. 

    • People of different viewpoints should commit to listen. Nothing shows respect more than carefully listening to the arguments of those with whom you disagree and then gently offering thoughtful responses. 

    Listen to talking heads on television news shows as they “discuss” different points of view. As soon as one side starts talking the other shakes their head, smirks, and then interrupts and talks over the other person. How is that going to persuade anyone? Yet we sometimes do the same thing when we have significant disagreements with people. Listen. Really listen. Let them finish their point. Then respond in grace.

    • Ask questions.

    You will not influence another person by arguing. The way to connect is to ask questions and try to understand why they feel the way they do. I have found that many times people I talk with don’t have a solid reason for their feelings. That can be a opening to honestly discuss difficult topics. 

    • Pop the bubble around you.

    Find out what the other person is reading and watching. Expose yourself to different points of view and encourage those you have disagreements with to do the same. If you are confident in your beliefs there should be no fear in being exposed to differing viewpoints.

    • All of us are a work in process.

    Every child of God is in process. I am a very different Christian than I was 20, 10, or even 5 years ago. I am growing (hopefully) in grace and truth. I strongly believed and said things years ago that I am grieved about today. Thankfully God was patiently working with my heart and gently shining the light of the Holy Spirit on my blind spots. I need to give that grace to others. 

    • Pray for wisdom and grace then leave the results to God.

    So what is the goal when you have sincere disagreements with another believer over cultural issues? Use the God’s Grace Practicing Strategy and relax. God may be using you to plant seeds in the heart of the other person. Maybe you have a blind spot that needs the refining work of the Holy Spirit. Share your heart with love and kindness and be open to the possibility that you may be the one who needs to change your heart.

    • Grace never cancels

    Grace does not “cancel”. Grace does not shame. Grace does not answer anger with anger. The person you totally disagree with may be crying out of pain and deep wounding. Perhaps a gentle answer will give hope. Grace does not lash out when challenged. Grace is kind and gentle.

    Complete transparency. Being graceful can be frustrating at times but Paul gives great application in his message to the church at Colossae. 

    Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. 
    And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful.
    Let the message about Christ, in all its richness, fill your lives. Teach and counsel each other with all the wisdom he gives. Sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs to God with thankful hearts. And whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through him to God the Father. (Colossians 3:12-17, NLT)

    Perhaps the most important thing all of us can do to further the unity in the body of Christ is to memorize that passage and try to implement those words. Engaging the Grace Practicing Strategy may not win every argument but it may plant a seed toward Jesus and that is the biggest win we can pray for.