Charisa Stories

Tag: love neighbor

  • Why Would You Want To Be A Troublesome Christian?

    Because of my career path in secular television I have a lot of people very dear to me who do not share my faith and hope in Jesus. Some are simply disinterested. Some think their good works will outweigh their bad deeds and they will be granted entry to Heaven. Some think that faith in God is a foolish pursuit that no intellectually honest person would consider. Some have witnessed horrible actions of people claiming to be Christians. Some have experienced harsh and legalistic religious types who make living a life of faith miserable and emotionally damaging. Some are pushed away by those who share sincere beliefs in a way that does not show the love of God. 

    Any combination of these factors can cause people to step away or not pursue what it means to follow Jesus. I get it. I have struggled with many of those things over my long journey of faith.

    Brennan Manning wrote this very convicting observation. “The greatest single cause of atheism in the world today is Christians who acknowledge Jesus with their lips, walk out the door, and deny Him by their lifestyle. That is what an unbelieving world simply finds unbelievable.” 

    It is easy to dismiss the hypocrite. No problem to ignore the angry and judgmental religious types. But before I came to faith I was troubled when I saw some Christians who displayed something different in their lives. I could not dismiss so readily the joy, peace, strength, courage, and love they modeled. They were “troublesome” Christians to me.  I could not ignore them because their lives were authentic and different (different good, not weird). 

    I wanted to be that kind of Christian. That is what any follower of Jesus should pray to become. Troublesome. When others look at your life they see kindness and grace when the circumstances call for anything but that response. That is troublesome to those observers. Or how about being a positive light when you are going through a difficult valley?
    Our spiritual season today is divisive because many in the church are losing focus on Jesus. You can be a “troublesome” Christian by listening to and loving those you disagree with. The truth must be presented through grace and love and through the guidance of the Holy Spirit. There must be unity in Christ first and then we can pursue political reconciliation with the proper light to guide us.

    Another way to impact those around you is to love and serve without looking for anything in return. That is being a “troublesome” Christian by simply following the commandment of Jesus.

    “So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.”
    ‭‭John‬ ‭13‬:‭34‬-‭35‬, NLT

    That was not a helpful suggestion. Jesus made that command the cornerstone of following Him and the powerful way to prove that to others. So that is my desire. To love others as I have been loved by Jesus and be a “troublesome” Christian to those who aren’t sure about following Him. You can Google yourself away from faith by looking to find people who claim to follow Jesus and have failed dramatically. The Enemy makes sure we find those people and then encourages us to focus on that. What the Enemy tries to hide are the millions of faithful and loving followers of Jesus who make a difference every day without any fanfare or credit. They can be troublesome to those who desire to dismiss Jesus. I encountered troublesome believers in my early season of doubt who caused me to examine why they were so different, loving, kind, and graceful. God used them to open my heart toward Him. I want to be a troublesome Christian that God can use for His glory. And I want every bit of the credit to go where it should go. 

    Jesus.

  • How To Use A Biblical GPS To Avoid Conversation Crashes

    I made a conscious decision a few years ago to focus on communicating the message of grace and identity in Christ. With that I decided to avoid the polarizing path of politics. Some have told me that is cowardly but I can honestly say there is no message more important to me than the liberating freedom of grace. I want to share the joy of living out of what Jesus has already accomplished and what God says is true about me. 

    I feel called to be a messenger of hope and grace. Plus I feel like the political commentator team has a pretty full roster of contributors. But how does grace enter into the conversation when we have sincere disagreements over cultural and political issues? It is fascinating how two people can look at the same information and reach completely opposite conclusions. So I am going to offer a Grace Practicing Strategy (GPS) as a roadmap for civil discussion and shining the love of Jesus for others. Follow this pathway and your odds of arriving safely and gracefully increase greatly.

    • Sincere followers of Jesus can look at cultural or political issues and have very different opinions. Jesus loves His children on both sides of the argument.

    I know I have changed my views on some cultural issues over my years of walking with Jesus. I was a child in the era when divorce was a mortal sin. I absolutely am committed to the idea of a husband and wife taking their vows seriously. But I learned that the cultural shame of divorce caused many Christian women to feel trapped in relationships of abuse. Clearly that was not the desire of a loving Heavenly Father who ordained marriage. In those sad situations it is necessary to divorce an abusive spouse. In the pulpits of my youth the message was no divorce outside of adultery was ever justified. I had a blind spot about how a declaration that appeared Biblical could foster abuse. So many issues we discuss have similar and complex nuances. We need to discuss, not demonize.

    • The goal of a discussion should not just be to win.

    Thoughtful discussion is impossible when one of the participants only cares about winning the debate. The goal of any conversation should be a graceful exchange of ideas without rude interruptions, condescending gestures, or angry exchanges. I would rather have a goal of being winsome instead of winning. That attitude fosters conversation. 

    • People of different viewpoints should commit to listen. Nothing shows respect more than carefully listening to the arguments of those with whom you disagree and then gently offering thoughtful responses. 

    Listen to talking heads on television news shows as they “discuss” different points of view. As soon as one side starts talking the other shakes their head, smirks, and then interrupts and talks over the other person. How is that going to persuade anyone? Yet we sometimes do the same thing when we have significant disagreements with people. Listen. Really listen. Let them finish their point. Then respond in grace.

    • Ask questions.

    You will not influence another person by arguing. The way to connect is to ask questions and try to understand why they feel the way they do. I have found that many times people I talk with don’t have a solid reason for their feelings. That can be a opening to honestly discuss difficult topics. 

    • Pop the bubble around you.

    Find out what the other person is reading and watching. Expose yourself to different points of view and encourage those you have disagreements with to do the same. If you are confident in your beliefs there should be no fear in being exposed to differing viewpoints.

    • All of us are a work in process.

    Every child of God is in process. I am a very different Christian than I was 20, 10, or even 5 years ago. I am growing (hopefully) in grace and truth. I strongly believed and said things years ago that I am grieved about today. Thankfully God was patiently working with my heart and gently shining the light of the Holy Spirit on my blind spots. I need to give that grace to others. 

    • Pray for wisdom and grace then leave the results to God.

    So what is the goal when you have sincere disagreements with another believer over cultural issues? Use the God’s Grace Practicing Strategy and relax. God may be using you to plant seeds in the heart of the other person. Maybe you have a blind spot that needs the refining work of the Holy Spirit. Share your heart with love and kindness and be open to the possibility that you may be the one who needs to change your heart.

    • Grace never cancels

    Grace does not “cancel”. Grace does not shame. Grace does not answer anger with anger. The person you totally disagree with may be crying out of pain and deep wounding. Perhaps a gentle answer will give hope. Grace does not lash out when challenged. Grace is kind and gentle.

    Complete transparency. Being graceful can be frustrating at times but Paul gives great application in his message to the church at Colossae. 

    Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. 
    And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful.
    Let the message about Christ, in all its richness, fill your lives. Teach and counsel each other with all the wisdom he gives. Sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs to God with thankful hearts. And whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through him to God the Father. (Colossians 3:12-17, NLT)

    Perhaps the most important thing all of us can do to further the unity in the body of Christ is to memorize that passage and try to implement those words. Engaging the Grace Practicing Strategy may not win every argument but it may plant a seed toward Jesus and that is the biggest win we can pray for.

  • A House Divided Cannot Stand…The Choice is Ours

    A House Divided Cannot Stand…The Choice is Ours

    I used to joke that it is hard to find a good Evangelical math teacher because the only thing they completely understand is division. I am not sure I think that is humorous anymore as I watch the heartbreaking division in the body of believers that I love and call family.

    My head explodes when I allow myself to wade into the discourse between followers of Jesus Christ on Twitter and other social media. I will stipulate that often the topic being discussed is valuable and important. I get frustrated that the threads that gain traction are rarely the most important message we should be proclaiming as ambassadors of Christ.

    For example, a dust-up between author/speaker Beth Moore and pastor John MacArthur exploded on social media last fall and continues to be contentious. Beth Moore and many other women that I deeply respect have advocated for the increased role of women in church leadership and as expositors in the pulpit. This article by author/professor Sandra Glahn is a thoughtful perspective. These sisters in the faith argue that women bring perspective and insight to the teaching of God’s Word that is valuable and can be overlooked. I happen to agree with most of their arguments. Other scholars that I also respect have objections to this position.

    Fine.

    Let us reason with one another with loving and graceful dialogue. Because of the nature of social media a topic that should be thoughtfully and biblically debated instead becomes an us versus them war. The discourse easily drifts toward broad brushing of large segments of the body of Christ with unfair assignation of motives.

    These judgements of motives and personal attacks are so damaging to the message of grace that I hold so dear. Sometimes I try to imagine myself as a skeptical seeker looking to read something about this Christianity thing. I am pretty sure if I stumbled on some of these mean-spirited threads I would run straight for the secular hills.

    The irony of this need to “win” the argument at the expense of Christian charity and love may be one more profoundly effective tactic of the enemy. Paul noted that God’s sovereignty can take any proclamation of the Gospel and use it for His glory.

    It’s true that some are preaching out of jealousy and rivalry. But others preach about Christ with pure motives. 16 They preach because they love me, for they know I have been appointed to defend the Good News. 17 Those others do not have pure motives as they preach about Christ. They preach with selfish ambition, not sincerely, intending to make my chains more painful to me. 18 But that doesn’t matter. Whether their motives are false or genuine, the message about Christ is being preached either way, so I rejoice. And I will continue to rejoice. Phillipians 1:15-18

    I hope that most of us wish to communicate the incredibly liberating forgiveness of the Gospel. I hope that most of us wish to be accurate in that communication. But I also hope that most of us wish to be gracious, kind, loving, and thoughtful toward all in the body who desire to celebrate Jesus.

    I am committed to not attacking fellow communicators of the Good News. God can use their efforts and their motives are between them and God.

    When asked what the most important commandment was Jesus replied without hesitation.

    “And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength.”

    And he added a second part…”Be accurate and make sure others are accurate at all costs.”

    Hardly. His convicting command is well known.

    The second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself. No other commandment is greater than these.”

    Don’t hijack my point. Accuracy is important but you cannot love your neighbor as yourself with condescension, assigning of bad motives, attacks on appearance, and smug righteousness.

    Researchers believe that more than 2 billion people identify as Christians around the globe. Imagine the impact of the body of Christ deciding to throw aside all that divides us and unite on the one thing that should unite every single one of that 2 billion plus number.

    Jesus.

    What if we decided to spend all of our energy proclaiming that the Son of God came to earth as a human, lived a sinless life, was crucified as a sacrifice for my sin and yours and then was resurrected to show the ultimate victory over sin and death.

    What if we decided to be a little kinder, give a little more, serve a little more often, and commit to unity in our ranks. Joni Erickson Tada has been a quadriplegic for over fifty years yet her joy exceeds most of us when we have a hangnail. She had this to say about unity.

    “Believers are never told to become one; we already are one and are expected to act like it.”

    Famous preacher Charles Spurgeon understood how key division is to Satan’s strategy to thwart the message of the Gospel.

    “Satan always hates Christian fellowship; it is his policy to keep Christians apart. Anything which can divide saints from one another he delights in. He attaches far more importance to godly intercourse than we do. Since union is strength, he does his best to promote separation.”

    I have reached the conclusion that lack of unity is the single biggest problem in the universal church and, of course, in our individual fellowships. When a major league baseball team starts to lose games regularly, it is said to have “bad clubhouse chemistry.” That’s a fancy way of saying, “This team doesn’t get along, and the players don’t work well together.” How sad that “congregational chemistry” has the same effect on winning…only our losses are eternal.

    I love these oft quoted principles of Christian living.

    In essentials, Unity. In non-essentials, Liberty. In everything, Love.

    What would the impact of the Gospel be if we lived by that simple little credo? Satan knows all too well how a world shown God’s love and grace would respond. So the enemy reminds us of grudges both real and enhanced.

    There is no more powerful community than a group of believers who live in unity. Nothing levels the playing field like genuinely following Jesus.

    Famous preacher D.L. Moody had this warning. “I have never yet known the Spirit of God to work where the Lord’s people were divided.”

    The One that unites us is so much more important than the things that divide us. Can we commit to pray for unity in the body of Christ? The choice is ours.