Occasionally I receive a message that I HAVE TO WATCH this video. I tend to push back on all-caps requests and the results when I do bite are usually mixed. Rarely do I click on one of those recommendations and have my world rocked by what I see and hear. That happened recently when I listened to the America’s God Talent audition of a young singer who goes by the stage name Nightbirde. Her real name is Jane Marczewski and she grew up in Zanesville, Ohio about 90 miles from my hometown of Chillicothe.
Regular readers of my humble musings know I rarely give homework but this week is the exception.
Her original song “It’s Ok” and melodic voice would have given her a great chance to advance. Add her story and attitude and you have something truly special.
At the age of 26 Marczewski was diagnosed with breast cancer. After battling that foe she received more bad news on the last day of 2019. This is from her must read blog site.
On New Years Eve, I was diagnosed with terminal cancer. Innumerable tumors were found throughout my lungs, liver, lymph nodes, ribs, and spine. I was on the living room floor leaning over the report, head in my hands. Six months to live. Two percent chance of survival.
Bald Girl in the Dark – Nightbirde.co
Two weeks later her husband said he was leaving her. Jane’s life spiraled into darkness that overwhelmed and consumed her for months. Her personal lamentations delivered from a mat on the bathroom floor were a form of worship that we often overlook. God isn’t shaken by our questions, doubt, anger, fear, or cynicism. God is especially present in those moments. Marczewski learned that lesson in a course that was incredibly painful and one that no one signs up for voluntarily.
Even on days when I’m not so sick, sometimes I go lay on the mat in the afternoon light to listen for Him. I know it sounds crazy, and I can’t really explain it, but God is in there—even now. I have heard it said that some people can’t see God because they won’t look low enough, and it’s true. Look lower. God is on the bathroom floor.
From God is on the Bathroom Floor – Nightbride.co
Indeed He is. God is wherever our broken hearts and souls reside. Jane experienced on that bathroom mat the truth of Paul’s words to the Church at Philippae.
Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:6-7, NLT)
Joni and I have experienced that peace during sickness and loss that we cannot attribute to anything other that God’s comforting Spirit.
Nightbirde’s performance stunned the panel with her powerful lyrics and spirit. Judge and noted curmudgeon Simon Cowell noted with amazement how casually she had disclosed her cancer battle. I have been marinating in her response for weeks.
“You can’t wait until life isn’t hard anymore before you decide to be happy.“
Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
I know that is a not a particularly articulate response but is that not an incredible philosophy of life?
How does a 30 year old divorced cancer patient achieve the insight and wisdom of a weathered saint? She learned that lesson through pain, adversity, and trust that God was still there in the darkest moments. More insight from Jane.
God doesn’t take away my darkness, he adds light. He doesn’t spare me of thirst, he brings water. He doesn’t cure my loneliness, he comes near. So why do we believe that when we are in pain, it must mean God is far?
Bald Girl in the Dark – Nightbirde.co
Storms are a necessary part of the refining program. Too often we view the storms as something to endure instead of a sovereignly directed opportunity to grow in grace and become more like Jesus. God loves us too much to give us only smooth sailing. That sounds crazy, but it is really logical when you think about how we mature. God gives us both good and bad things to help us mature spiritually. We have to lean into a sovereign God who sees exactly what we need to grow.
All followers of Christ wrestle with doubt when we are deep in the storm. Can we believe that trials are really tender mercies in disguise? That is exactly what David wrote in Psalm 119:71-77.
My suffering was good for me,
for it taught me to pay attention to your decrees.
Your instructions are more valuable to me than millions in gold and silver.
You made me; you created me.
Now give me the sense to follow your commands.
May all who fear you find in me a cause for joy, for I have put my hope in your word.
I know, O Lord, that your regulations are fair; you disciplined me because I needed it.
Now let your unfailing love comfort me, just as you promised me, your servant.
Surround me with your tender mercies so I may live, for your instructions are my delight.
Too many Christians have a theology more resembling karma than Christ. If I do this good thing, then good things should happen. If a bad thing happens, I must have done something bad in God’s eyes. That is not the gospel. Jane Marczewski noted in a podcast that she had made “peace with my life and my story looking differently than what I would’ve written.”
Most of our stories have taken turns that we wouldn’t choose. But we can choose how we respond. Like Jane Marczewski I want to believe God is there in the darkness. That He will provide what I need as I trust Him. And that ultimately because of His grace I can believe with all of my heart that “it’s ok”.
Update: Nightbirde announced today that she is withdrawing from the next round of America’s Got Talent to focus on her ongoing cancer battle after her health has taken a turn for the worse. Her statement exemplifies this amazing person who continues to inspire and challenge me. “Thank you for all your support, it means the world to me. Stay with me, I’ll be better soon. I’m planning my future, not my legacy. Pretty beat up, but I’ve still got dreams.” Let’s pray for healing, peace, courage, and an ongoing sense of God’s presence for her.
