Charisa Stories

Tag: Philippians 2:3-4

  • What Is The Reason To Attack Thoughts and Prayers?

    I have written about this social media trend but I think it is worth revisiting. After a tragedy occurs it is a common social media reaction to attack people of faith for offering “thoughts and prayers”. These posters assume that anyone expressing those sentiments don’t really care about solutions to prevent future violence. Our culture seems to have lost the ability to recognize two things can be true at once.

    I honestly believe I can desire cultural improvement while praying for hope and comfort to victims and their families available through faith in Christ. 

    So here is the challenge for Christians in this season. How can we love those who assign terrible motives to what may be a completely sincere and caring response? Perhaps start by seeing if anything in the criticism is valid.

    I spent 40 years in television production trucks so rough language doesn’t impact me much. But I have to admit the language and anger directed toward Christians who express “thoughts and prayers” is stunning. It is easy to dismiss such vulgar statements with defensiveness and anger but it is vital to see if there is a valid critique hiding in the vitriol. Is there a lesson there for followers of Jesus?

    I think we can ask for God’s grace towards those who are judgmental and unkind. Believe me, I know that is not easy and not possible apart from His grace. I don’t mean the next statement to be condescending to those who do not share my faith because I have been on both sides. If I did not have the belief that there is more hope in Christ than just this earthly existence I would likely be just as frustrated and angry. 

    To demonstrate my faith is real I need to back up, show kindness, and continue to love those who might not show those same reactions toward me. 

    As for finding some valid criticism in the vitriol I will throw this out for you to “think and pray” about. When we type that we are sending “thoughts and prayers” I believe that Christians must also be looking for ways to show love through our actions. Thoughts and prayers need hands and feet displaying the love of Christ to have eternal impact. 

    It is hard to spend much time in the New Testament and not realize our challenge as followers of Jesus toward those hurting, in need, and devoid of hope. Here is a very small sample: 

    If anyone has the world’s goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God’s love abide in him? (1 John 3:17, ESV)

    What good is it, my brothers, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? Can that faith save him? If a brother or sister is poorly clothed and lacking in daily food, and one of you says to them, “Go in peace, be warmed and filled,” without giving them the things needed for the body, what good is that? So also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead.
    (James 2:14-17, ESV)

    Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. (Philippians 2:4 ESV)

    Loving one another is clearly step one. But prayer is a valuable gift to people of faith. Joni went through a difficult cancer journey. Some could only offer prayer. It meant a lot. Some offered prayer and help. That meant a lot. We didn’t judge the first group because they only prayed. We knew they cared and we knew their hearts.

    I am absolutely fine with sincere expressions of thoughts and prayers when people are hurting. I understand the frustration we all feel over terrifying acts of violence. Those who disagree with someone’s faith or political opinion too often assign the worst values from the most extreme people proclaiming that message. Without knowing a single thing about the person’s story, their heart, or their background we are prone to throw down the gauntlet of judgment. Broad brushing the motives of everyone without knowing their heart is painful and destructive.

    I am challenging myself and other believers to be willing to be the hands and feet that reflect the love of Christ. Don’t focus on the anger of those who don’t share your hope. Focus on the One who has given you hope in this challenging season and be a light in the darkness.

  • Spiritual Growth Can Be Found in the Roots of Redwoods

    Real growth in relationships, faith, and maturity doesn’t just happen. I have to be intentional about confronting my own heart and shortcomings. Change is hard. Sharing my need to change with others is even harder. 

    Several years ago I took the risk to trust three men with everything about me. We called ourselves the Redwood Brothers based on a unique characteristic of the Coastal California redwood trees. A redwood alone in a forest might look magnificent but the first strong wind could destroy it. The Coastal Redwoods have shallow root systems and cannot survive a storm alone. Their roots extend over one hundred feet from the base but just broadening the root base is not what makes these beautiful trees capable of surviving the worst storms. They stand strong by intertwining their roots with the roots of other redwoods. The winds are now taking on an entire stand of trees and not a single redwood. No matter how majestic those trees might appear God designed them to need other trees to survive the storms. 

    That is exactly how we are designed. That describes the relationship I have forged with the three other men who gather every year to share weaknesses, fears, and frustrations. We are men who desire to follow Christ faithfully and love our wives and families well. Yet we can have shallow root systems, and we need the strength of one another as we go through strong winds and storms together. Sharing our imperfect journeys in a safe space has resulted in remarkable breakthroughs. We have experienced what my friend John Lynch wrote about in The Cure.

    “What if there was a place so safe that the worst of me could be known, and I would discover that I would not be loved less, but more in the telling of it?” 

    Dropping the pretense and engaging in real conversation about the difficulties of this journey with other honest wayfarers is a real way to become more like Jesus. After several yearly gatherings with powerful results we invited our spouses to join us in this vital journey. The impact as couples continues to grow our roots deeper and more connected with fellow believers and with Jesus.

    The need for church community is clear. But it’s even more important to look at what Jesus modeled. Jesus knew hundreds of people. He traveled with dozens. He sent out seventy. He discipled twelve. And He invested deeply in three. Jesus’ inner circle consisted of Peter, James, and John. He confided in these three men on a deeper and more profound level than any of the other disciples. I’ve found the same results in my own life. My greatest growth has taken place since I risked trusting a small group of fellow believers.

    Legendary professor Howard Hendricks of Dallas Theological Seminary described Paul’s friend Barnabas as the type of friend that will help you grow in your faith. He noted that Barnabas was a soul brother who loves you but is not impressed by you. Somebody who’s willing to keep you honest even if it creates a moment of discomfort.

    What a great description of a true friend. Someone who loves you but is not impressed with you. These men love me. They want the best for me. They tell me the truth because I trust them with my story and I have given them permission to speak truth with grace. I keep emphasizing the grace part. That is how God desires our community to look. I can only receive real love from you to the extent that you know the truth about who I really am. We all have blind spots in our hearts. I need a person who loves me enough to gently and gracefully point them out. 

    I hope you will find the courage to carefully trust others with everything that is true about you. We need each other. These scriptural passages are great reminders of the importance of being honest and loving in community.

    “Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works. And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near.”
    ‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭10‬:‭24‬-‭25‬ ‭NLT‬‬


    “Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.”
    ‭‭Philippians‬ ‭2‬:‭3‬-‭4‬ ‭NLT‬‬

    We need Jesus. And we need a community of brothers and sisters who share our desire to follow Him.

    Portions of this article from my book Stay: Lessons My Dogs Taught Me about Life, Loss, and Grace.