Charisa Stories

Tag: pride

  • Grace is Wonderfully Messy

    Sometimes I just want to step away from people. I get tired. Living in honest community can be frustrating and discouraging. And then the song “Lean On Me” cycles up my playlist. That is not funny Lord. The lyrics sung by Bill Withers talks about being there for others.

    Sometimes in our lives
    We all have pain
    We all have sorrow

    But if we are wise
    We know that there’s
    Always tomorrow

    Lean on me, when you’re not strong
    And I’ll be your friend

    I confess that I struggle with the cost of walking in honest relationship with people. It is hard.

    I have come to understand why legalism is so much easier than grace. Legalism allows me to assess the situation and then apply a verse or assign a task. If that person rejects that Biblical admonition or task then legalism allows me to withdraw because they are disobedient. Grace does not give me that option. Grace demands that I move toward the struggle of my brother or sister and not away in judgment. No wonder grace is a tough sell.

    That is the glorious dichotomy of grace. Grace wears me out and lifts me up. Grace frustrates and exhilarates. My old nature screams that people who make bad decisions over and over get what they “deserve”. They don’t “deserve” to be pursued and loved and restored. They made their bed now let them lay in it. But there is a small quiet voice in my heart that tells me that they have value. That they are loved by their Creator. And that voice asks who am I to decide who “deserves” anything?

    A quote by Pastor Paul Donnan says it far better than I ever could.

    Grace doesn’t treat us better than we deserve. It treats us without the slightest reference to what we deserve. Grace ceases to be grace if God withdraws it upon any human failure. If Grace is in any way tied to something you do, then it is no longer a gift but a wage, and that’s not grace.

    And, to be selfish, the lyrics of Bill Withers tells me why it is in my own best interest to give grace willingly.

    I’ll help you carry on
    For it won’t be long
    Till I’m gonna need
    Somebody to lean on

    Yep. It is just a matter of time until I will be begging for grace for some stupid action or word. Paul knew that was true and reminded the Galatian Church.

    Live creatively, friends. If someone falls into sin, forgivingly restore him, saving your critical comments for yourself. You might be needing forgiveness before the day’s out. Stoop down and reach out to those who are oppressed. Share their burdens, and so complete Christ’s law. If you think you are too good for that, you are badly deceived. (Galatians 6, The Message)

    Why are we so willing to receive grace and not extend it? Maybe the next lyric has a clue.

    Please swallow your pride
    If I have things
    You need to borrow
    For no one can fill

    Pride. Pride causes us to cover our needs because that would show weakness. Pride tells us to wear a mask of false joy so that others won’t know our shame and sin. Our Father in Heaven designed this journey to be lived in community. God knows that we need Him and we need one another. Healthy community is not unlike two parents being the healthiest community for children. Sometimes a child needs his or her father and sometimes only the mother can touch their need. In the same way there are times when only Abba Father can comfort my soul but at other times I need the community of fellow believers to get through.

    We all need somebody to lean on
    I just might have a problem
    That you’ll understand

    We all need somebody to lean on

    Yes it is hard to walk with the wounded. Yes it is frustrating to watch messy people make the same mistakes over and over. Yes it is tiring to give grace to the needy. But my heart’s desire remains the same. I want to follow the game plan of Paul in the book of Acts.

    But my life is worth nothing to me unless I use it for finishing the work assigned me by the Lord Jesus—the work of telling others the Good News about the wonderful grace of God. (Acts 20:24, NLT)

  • Time For A Heart Demo Day?

    Time For A Heart Demo Day?

    Fixer Upper with Chip and Joanna Gaines has made Waco, Texas a tourist destination. Who saw that coming? People come from all over the country to visit the Magnolia Silos, shops, and restaurant. One of the fun parts of every Fixer Upper episode is “Demo Day”. Joanna evaluates the home to see what needs to go. Sometimes a wall needs to be knocked down. Sometimes a kitchen island is removed. Sometimes cabinets or shelves are destroyed and more stylish and efficient units are put in place. Sometimes floors are ripped up and foundations shored up.

    Chip Gaines loves demolition day. He comes in wielding a sledge hammer and a gigantic smile as he destroys sheet rock and fixtures.

    If you didn’t know what the end goal was it would look like vandalism. Knocking down a wall and leaving an enormous mess doesn’t look like a great plan at first glance. It is only when you see how removing that wall opens up the room that you see the method to Chip’s hammering madness. It is only when you see the beautiful remake of a kitchen that you understand why the original island and cabinets were smashed into kindling. The deconstruction makes sense only when you see how much better the house looks and functions afterwards.

    More than ever it feels like we need the Holy Spirit to be the fixer-upper of our hearts. The divisions in our church and culture have made the need for heart renewal urgent. Our cry should echo the Psalmist.

    Create in me a clean heart, O God.
        Renew a loyal spirit within me. (Psalm 51:10, NLT)

    We should all desire a clean heart that allows the Holy Spirit to move unencumbered in our lives. But the truth is we probably all need a demo day now and then. Maybe you need to knock down some walls of pride that keep the Spirit of God from moving freely in our hearts. God desires to give His children grace to love and forgive others. But sometimes we have to clear some space.

    And he gives grace generously. As the Scriptures say,

    “God opposes the proud
        but gives grace to the humble.” (James 4:6. NLT)

    Demolish the walls of pride to make space for humility and your heart will become a much more friendly place for your family, friends, and community.

    Perhaps you need to rearrange some things in your heart. Clear out those cabinets that stored worthless things and rebuild it with lots of storage for God’s Word.

    I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you. (Psalm 119:11, NET)

    The demo process can be messy. But if you are committed to clearing out walls and strongholds that hinder your walk with the Lord I am convinced He will meet you there to reconstruct a clean heart. Don’t be afraid of demo days. Maybe we should show up with a smile of trust on our face knowing that God’s rebuild is worth the mess.

  • The Dog Days are Here!

    The Dog Days are Here!

    Summer has made it’s presence known this week in Texas. The oppressive heat leads to expressions like this from canine friend Maggie.

    For years I have been throwing around the phrase “dog days of summer” with no clue about its origin. The Romans noticed that the hottest days of the years happened to coincide with the appearance of the “dog star” Sirius which is the brightest star in the constellation Canis Major. They believed the appearance of this bright star contributed to withering heat.

    The Greeks were likely the first to use the term dog days and you will surely recall this reference from your most recent reading of the Iliad by Homer.

    Sirius rises late in the dark, liquid sky
    On summer nights, star of stars,
    Orion’s Dog they call it, brightest
    Of all, but an evil portent, bringing heat
    And fevers to suffering humanity.

    I was surprised to find that dog days appear in the first copies of the King James Bible and the Book of Common Prayer. The lectionary of the 1559 edition of the Book of Common Prayer notes that dog “daies” begin July 6th and end September 5th. This corresponds to the 1611 edition of the King James Bible that also noted dog days in the daily readings.

    So we have historical precedent to celebrate dog days!

    I have now lived in Texas for 41 years. I love Texas and the people of the Lone Star state. Please remember that disclaimer as I confess that I can sympathize with General  Philip Henry Sheridan’s comments about Texas after the Civil War. Sheridan remarked that “if I owned Hell and Texas I would rent out Texas and live in Hell”. But let us extend a moment of grace and consider that perhaps Sheridan offered his comments during the dog days of summer. I suspect that before air conditioning I might have pondered the same thoughts. July and August are miserable in North Texas. That is our payback for mocking our Northern friends during January and February.

    The usual suspect for miserable summer weather is a high pressure dome that camps over the state. I am not a meteorologist but here is what I understand about this phenomenon. This high pressure dome just sits there defiantly (okay…it may not have personality but it sure seems vengeful) and whenever a cooling front or storm approaches those cooling temps bounce off and are sent to a less deserving state. Every night I watch the weather with naive optimism. I observe these fronts floating toward Texas from Canada, bringing the hope of tantalizingly cooler air, only to see this high pressure dome reject that relief. And we stay miserable. Texans (and adopted Texans) know that eventually this dome will be broken up and cooler weather will arrive.

    So what in the wide, wide world of meteorology does that have to do with my faith? One of things that God is teaching me is that I sometimes allow spiritual “high pressure domes” to affect my faith temperature. For example, a “high pressure dome” of pride can force the gentle front of humility and reconciliation to bounce tragically away.

    Peter’s life was nearing its end when he addressed the leaders both young and old in Asia Minor.

    And all of you, dress yourselves in humility as you relate to one another, for

    “God opposes the proud
        but gives grace to the humble.”

    So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and at the right time he will lift you up in honor. Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you. (1 Peter 1:5-7, NLT)

    I find it ironic that I desperately hope the weather high pressure dome will go away so I will not be physically miserable yet I ignore the stubborn spiritual patterns that make me even more miserable. I pray today for the winds of grace to break through and provide a refreshing spiritual forecast for this week. This could be our report for this warm summer week if we trust Him.

    …God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit. (Romans 15:13, NLT)

    You can read Maggie’s story in Stay: Lessons My Dogs Taught Me about Life, Loss, and Grace