Tag: room of grace

  • The Song “I Love This Bar” has a Lesson for the Church


    I write a lot about the importance of Christian community. I too often hear from wounded churchgoers that have not found a place of grace and caring. At the risk of riling the ever present spiritual hall monitors I want to suggest a reason so many people leave the institutional church in frustration and pain.

    My thoughts were triggered by a song titled  “I Love This Bar” by Toby Keith. If you will hang with me to the end before grabbing your judgement gavel I think you will at least see my point. I understand that bars can be a dark place to anesthetize pain. But there is a dynamic of these gathering spots that we can learn from. In my oddly constructed brain I listened to this song and dreamed of what a community of seekers and followers of Jesus should look like.

    Toby Keith loves that bar because any type of person can show up and be welcomed without judgement. Philip Yancey had this provocative observation in his book “What’s So Amazing about Grace”.

    “Having spent time around “sinners” and also around purported saints, I have a hunch why Jesus spent so much time with the former group: I think he preferred their company. Because the sinners were honest about themselves and had no pretense, Jesus could deal with them. In contrast, the saints put on airs, judged him, and sought to catch him in a moral trap. In the end it was the saints, not the sinners, who arrested Jesus.”

    The early church was a mix of all types of people. The reason the faith spread against all odds is found in this description in Acts.

    And all the believers met together constantly and shared everything they had. They sold their possessions and shared the proceeds with those in need. They worshiped together at the Temple each day, met in homes for the Lord’s Supper, and shared their meals with great joy and generosity– all the while praising God and enjoying the goodwill of all the people. And each day the Lord added to their group those who were being saved.  (Acts 2 , NLT)

    I suspect that body of believers resembled the motley crew that Keith outlines in his lyrics. We were created to be in this community. A safe place that accepts and embraces those different from us because of our bond in Christ. That is what makes church dynamic to a person who experiences grace and acceptance for the first time. And that is why church can be devastating when the congregation becomes selective, judgemental and legalistic.

    A lot of churches have grace in their name. I am praying for thousands of communities that have grace in their DNA. A safe place where everyone and I mean everyone feels welcomed and loved. In this sacred place we would pledge not to gossip because we would realize that it is only by the grace of God that we are not the current targets. A community of grace that would make it a practice to reach out, touch, and care for one another sacrificially because we know that we all fall down in life and in our Christian journey. In this place we would have executives holding hands in prayer with laborers and not thinking twice about it. People of all colors would break bread together because we are all sinners in the eyes of a color-indifferent God and all are deeply needed in the body of Christ.

    This community of grace would give freely out of profound gratitude to a God who somehow saw fit to give us an undeserved chance. All of us would practice the prodigal son ministry, running to welcome those returning from mistakes and bad decisions. We would take the risk to get involved in the messiness of one another’s lives.

    In this room of grace we would welcome any spiritual travelers and make it a priority that no one ever feels alone. We would make each other feel valuable but, on occasion, a little uncomfortable. A community of grace would not back off the truth but would share with arms wrapped around our fellow sojourners.

    In this sacred room we would worship with reverence because we have received the most amazing gift ever offered.

    The sad reality is that most of us are afraid to commit to this radical type of fellowship because we aren’t sure what it would require of us. We want to maintain control and Jesus is asking us to do something radical. Grace is a white knuckle roller coaster ride of trust.

    That is my dream of what church should look like. And that is why Toby Keith’s song resonates with me.

    [Chorus:]
    I love this bar
    It’s my kind of place
    Just walkin’ through the front door
    Puts a big smile on my face
    It ain’t too far, come as you are
    Hmm, hmm, hmm I love this bar

    Does walking through the front door of your church community put a big smile on your face? If not, what is wrong? Is your church come as you are or only come cleaned up and acceptable? We are made for community. The church needs to realize that it is not only a place of teaching and reproach but also a place of refuge and grace. A walk-in clinic for messy believers and messy seekers. We haven’t been honest that everyone is messy. Some just clean up better for show and tell. I agree with another quote from Yancey.

    “I rejected the church for a time because I found so little grace there. I returned because I found grace nowhere else.”

    Jesus is always ready to franchise a new room of grace. Here is the promise to hang on the door.

    Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30)

    That is not a message of law. That is a message of grace.

    No cover charge, come as you are
    Hmm, hmm, hmm I love this bar

    That is another thing we have communicated poorly. There is no cover charge to join the body of Christ. Admission has been paid by the Lord Jesus. Come as you are. Really.


    Includes an excerpt from Waking Up Slowly.

  • When Reality Comes Around…

    When Reality Comes Around…

    Please forgive me for driving slowly down memory lane as I approach my 50th high school reunion this month. Soon after graduation I became a disc jockey at 1000 watt “powerhouse” WCHI in Chillicothe, Ohio. This was back in the days of turntables and actual vinyl records. I got to pick my own playlist that was mainly Top-40 pop. Unfortunately my playlist was often influenced by my emotional state. I didn’t realize I was doing that until a friend pointed out that I had thoroughly depressed them with my melancholy melodies that day. I would play “How Can You Mend A Broken Heart” from the Bee Gees followed by “She’s Gone” by Hall and Oates followed by the Carpenters singing “Goodbye to Love”.  Not sure the sponsors (except maybe antidepressant manufacturers and counseling centers) wanted me to be such a musical downer.

    Another one of my go to songs to bring the listeners down was a song by Irish singer Gilbert O’SullivanAlone Again Naturally reached the top of the charts for several weeks and the tune popped up on satellite radio recenty. He sings about how life is good and full of promise and then everything changes. That would be called life.

    But as if to knock me down
    Reality came around
    And without so much as a mere touch
    Cut me into little pieces

    Leaving me to doubt
    Talk about God in His mercy
    Who if He really does exist
    Why did He desert me?

    In my hour of need
    I truly am indeed
    Alone again, naturally

    Those lyrics reflects the struggle of many former believers and struggling believers around us. Several people who are dear to me are going through deep valleys of heartache right now. They sometimes feel deserted and may wonder if God is there. This walk of faith was designed to be lived out in community. I think that is why so many struggle so mightily because we (as a body of believers) lean toward programs more easily than toward authentic community. Community is messy and hard and painful and incredibly fulfilling. My friend John Lynch describes that place of healing as the Room of Grace and I have yet to find a better descriptor of a place where God’s love is demonstrated to wounded sojourners. In the Room of Grace your problems, weirdness, neediness, and weakness does not result in judgment but in acceptance. In that room you can trust God and others with the truth about you and not be pushed away. Fellow inhabitants of the room run toward you when you hurt and not away. That place exists but there are not nearly enough rooms of grace. And if more such rooms were constructed the body of Christ would be a much healthier organism.

    It seems to me that there are more hearts
    Broken in the world that can’t be mended
    Left unattended
    What do we do? What do we do?

    What do we do? I had to acknowledge my own weakness and need for others. I had to lean fully on my dependence on Christ to live this journey out. No heroic self-effort on my part makes me a better Christian. It is all because of Christ. That flies in the face of the American values of being self-made and independent. As a Christian I must surrender self and be dependent to be used by God. I would suggest that we drop the pretense of “victory” over sin and the lie that a particular flavor of faith will result in prosperity, health and green lights during every road trip. That is not the Gospel. I would suggest that we get real about our struggles and let others know that their struggle is also ours. I would suggest that you pray for friends and family but also listen to the quiet voice of the Holy Spirit as to how you can serve them. When a loved one comes to mind send them a note, call them, drop a card and take the time see how they are doing. Too many in the church feel unattended because we, His arms to the flock, are not reaching out. Walking with those who are struggling is draining. It can be ugly. There is no guarantee of success. But can I encourage you with this lesson learned? There is nothing more exciting that realizing that God has somehow divinely used your stumbling efforts in the life of one of His children. Nothing will make you worship more than seeing how God uses a humble and trusting heart far more effectively than a slick and convincing tongue.

    Paul wrote these words to the Church at Philippi.

    Is there any encouragement from belonging to Christ? Any comfort from his love? Any fellowship together in the Spirit? Are your hearts tender and compassionate? Then make me truly happy by agreeing wholeheartedly with each other, loving one another, and working together with one mind and purpose. Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too. (Philippians 2, NLT)

    I see a grace revival stirring and we need it desperately. Because in a room of grace the broken hearts will not be left unattended. Pray for more rooms of His grace.