Charisa Stories

Tag: Ruth graham

  • How Focused Time With God Enhances Spiritual Growth

    Every day I am gifted with 86,400 seconds of precious time. I cannot possibly use all of it wisely. But I can invest more of that daily gift into my relationships with God and others. I can’t draw interest on unused time to be used later.

    Time is far more valuable than the money we so doggedly pursue. I can lose all my money and make more later. But if I lose my time, it is gone forever. Solomon actually beat me to this message by about three thousand years, give or take. He decided that, all things considered, the best way to live is to enjoy the moment.

    “Even so, I have noticed one thing, at least, that is good. It is good for people to eat, drink, and enjoy their work under the sun during the short life God has given them, and to accept their lot in life.” (Ecclesiastes‬ ‭5‬:‭18‬ ‭NLT‬‬)


    Not to be maudlin, but that is the reality of this earthly existence. We don’t know if we have tomorrow or even the rest of today. Certainly we must be wise to plan and prepare for a long future. But we must also invest in now, in case that is all we are given. 

    Maybe the message that resonates the most for me is that we cannot receive postdated grace. We cannot order grace for the future. We receive grace in the now. Grace is God’s greatest gift of my being present with Him. When we are disconnected or distracted, we miss that blessing of real-time grace.

    If I had to write a one-sentence summary of what I learned on this odyssey, it would be very simple. Spend focused time with those you love and with your God. Speaker-writer Zig Ziglar wrote about spending time with loved ones. 

    “One of these days you will say either, ‘I wish I had,’ or ‘I’m glad I did.’”

    How heartbreaking would it be to find yourself at the end of this pilgrimage with the regret of “I wish I had” roiling in your soul? My heart’s desire is that I will gratefully say, “I’m glad I did.” If you want to give the very best present to your spouse, kids, friends, and God, the grace challenge is simple. 

    Be present.

    If a friend is suffering, you can show no greater love than to simply be there for him or her. Not offering great theological insight or stories of your own or other’s suffering. Just be present.

    When you talk to a friend, be present. Not looking around as if your friend is merely a temporary diversion before someone more compelling comes along. That is the best thing we can give to others. Nothing makes a person feel more valued than being fully present.

    And being fully present is the best worship we can give to God. We can sing and raise hands in worship to God, and that is good. We can talk about His love and forgiveness, and that is good. But nothing communicates our adoration for God more than being fully present with Him.

    The enemy will remind you over and over of all that needs to be done. He will remind you of past wounds and failures. It would be wise to remember something incredibly encouraging. Jesus has experienced exactly what you are going through right now. He was tempted in the desert by Satan. He was tired, hungry, and lonely. Jesus experienced the lies of the enemy and He conquered them with a simple strategy. Jesus focused on the Father and rebuked Satan with what? A powerful argument?

    Nope.

    Just

    Quoting Scripture was all that Jesus did to defeat the enemy. Satan has power, but it is limited. God has the authority, and Jesus used that power.

    My desire is to serve the Lord with single-heartedness. I cannot multitask and hope to be fully present with God. 

    Spiritual cynics might call quiet moments of presence with God and others unproductive time. I am learning that there is no more productive way we can spend our time. Everything that truly matters grows from that enriched soil of quiet presence in the Spirit.

    My heavenly Father is always present. I just need to show up for Him. That is the essence of spiritual growth for me. Just showing up in humility every day, seeking His presence.

    I will stumble in this journey to be present. I probably will need a refresher course often. But I am confident beyond confident of one truth that Paul wrote to the church at Philippi, which is true for you and me today.

    I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns. (Philippians 1:6, NLT)

    One day I will wake up glorified in His eternal presence. I believe the epithet written on Ruth Graham’s tombstone will also describe my journey: “End of construction—thank you for your patience.”

  • The Key to Healthy Relationships

    I discovered a couple of years ago that a talented musician/producer/singer/songwriter from my hometown of Chillicothe, Ohio is my second cousin! Jerry Salley’s career in bluegrass, country, and gospel music has been remarkably successful.

    I am not sure how I missed knowing that but count me grateful I found out. His album, Bridges and Backroads, features a tribute to our mutual hometown of Chillicothe.

    One song resonates in my heart every time I listen to the album. Without Forgiveness opens during a wedding ceremony as the writer observes the starry-eyed love of a young couple. They are beginning a journey the lyricist knows will not always be idyllic. Relationships are hard and often messy. The chorus of the song sums up what that journey could look like if you choose the path of selfishness and pride.

    Without forgiveness,
    Life’s a long and empty road.
    Without forgiveness,
    We’d give up and just let go.

    I’ve had a long term and probably unhealthy envy of songwriters who can say more in a stanza that I can blabber out in a lengthy chapter. And this next lyric is powerful.

    Oh we never want to hurt each other,
    That’s just somethin’ that were gonna’ do

    We let often let relationships get away from us when we had no intention of wounding that person. Most of us bring baggage into relationships that can cause hurt. We can act out of childhood rejection and painful life experiences in ways we don’t even understand. But God has given us the tool to keep going.

    Forgiveness.

    Ruth Graham was once asked the key to making a marriage successful. Her insightful response was that “a great marriage is made up of two great forgivers.”

    The math is important there. It takes two great forgivers that understand this relational journey requires patience, love, grace, and forgiveness from both partners. Jerry Salley asks the question that many have had answered with heartbreaking results.

    And I hate to think what might become of me and you
    Without forgiveness

    There is a hope that is available to all of us. The song finishes by looking back to a blood stained hill on a Friday afternoon long ago. 

    People on a hillside stand there lookin’ up.
    To a Cross that says there’d be no hope for us,
    Without forgiveness

    That forgiveness from the finished work of our Lord Jesus Christ is the gift of grace that changes everything. 

    I imagine the heart of Jesus is saddened by our stubborn refusal to consider His forgiveness as the primary power to help us forgive others.

    There is fear on that road to forgiveness when you take your eyes off of Christ. Your heart cries out in protest. What if they reject, scoff or take advantage of my forgiveness? Jesus reminds us gently that He understands.

    When you break those chains of fear and allow God to heal your heart the weight of the world will lift off of your soul. It is a long road to forgiveness. Sadly, it is too often the road less taken. But it is the road that will make a difference in your journey with Jesus.

    Satan knows all too well how a world shown God’s love and grace would respond. So the enemy reminds us of grudges both real and enhanced. We turn from forgiveness because we decide our offender does not deserve it. There is no way I have found to release those grudges without the healing power of forgiveness. Author Will Davis wrote this powerful insight.

    “Once you decide to forgive, you initiate the healing process. Forgiveness gives your soul permission to move on to the higher and healthier ground of emotional recovery. Forgiveness is to your soul what antibiotics are to infection. It is the curative agent that will help to fully restore your soul. It doesn’t immediately remove the pain of offense but it does start you on the road to recovery.”

    I really like that perspective. The decision to forgive initiates but does not complete our healing. You will, in time, heal. I am asking you to pray that you can begin the healing process of forgiveness knowing that only time and God’s mercy can fully heal. That will start you down that road to forgiveness and empowerment to let go of the grudges that are weighing you down. You may not get there today or tomorrow. But you will never get there without taking the first step of faith. Paul reminds us that we have a powerful reason to be forgiving.

    “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Ephesians 4:32

    We have been forgiven. We did not deserve that gift. Without forgiveness life’s a long and empty road. It doesn’t have to be that way. Jesus offers forgiveness. Accept that gift and give it freely to others. It is a much happier road to travel.