Charisa Stories

Tag: trust

Sanctification Insights from a Dog

Our canine friend Maggie recently sought us out while dog sitting a rambunctious young pup. Maggie had played some with the younger dog, patiently endured the persistent attempts to play more, and now was urging us to help her find personal space. We chuckled and Joni remarked about what a good and easy dog Maggie is to care for.

Later I reflected on that comment. That was far from the case when we rescued Maggie from unknown circumstances nearly a decade ago. I reviewed her story from my book Stay. Here is what I wrote about our initial experience with Maggie.

For the first two weeks Maggie was pretty well behaved. But now she is showing some decidedly less attractive sides to her personality. She is independent. She is stubborn. She is affectionate only when she wants to be affectionate. She acts out on occasion. She chews things that are not approved for that activity. I am finding out that a “honeymoon” period is pretty common for rescue dogs. That was not mentioned in the brochure. Now that the honeymoon is over, I guess we get down to the challenge of making this relationship work.
I wish we knew more of Maggie’s backstory. We found out from the veterinarian’s report that Maggie had a fresh gash on her leg when she was rescued near Van Alstyne, Texas. The exam showed that she was visibly undernourished and tested positive for hookworms. Everything else was a mystery. Was she wanted and ran away? Was she unwanted and abandoned to fend for herself? Was she treated poorly? Had she been socialized with other animals and people? The details of her story—who, what, where, when, why—surely have influenced her behavior.
Maggie’s biggest issue has been trust. I certainly get that. She was captured, kenneled, and then fostered. If I had been bounced around as a child, I would have trust issues. Oh wait—I didn’t experience any of that, and I still have trust issues.
Of course, Maggie isn’t a unique case. Many rescued dogs suffer from behavioral baggage. Some have severe separation anxiety that may have started when the pups were taken from their mother too early. If a dog has fended for itself, it can become dangerously territorial over food and possessions. When a dog flinches or cowers at the gentlest human touch, it breaks my heart.
Each day, I tried to read Maggie’s expressions and body language. Did she think we were just one more way station on her sad journey? She seemed appreciative of everything we gave her, yet she was still wary. Her personality was friendly at times, but then she’d become withdrawn and want to hide. She would accept affection but she rarely initiated it. The message she was sending was “It’s okay. I can make it on my own.”
Stay: Lesssons My Dogs Taught Me about Life, Loss, and Grace

Those memories reminded me of my own journey. I came to Jesus with baggage. I wasn’t abandoned but I certainly needed Him to rescue me from my own selfish desires and stubborn insistence that I could “do it on my own”.

I thought about my experience with Maggie and compared it with how Jesus could report His experience with me.

Both of us could be frustratingly inconsistent in our obedience. We shared a penchant to react impulsively to certain stimuli instead of calming evaluating our next step. We both chose to be selective with our affection and caring for others.

Now I look at Maggie and I see how she has matured. She has learned to trust us and knows we will take care of her. The only time she shows any anxiety now is when we are packing a suitcase and she knows her caretakers might be absent. That must be hard for a dog because they don’t have a calendar to know when or even if we are coming back.

Again, I compared that to my journey with Jesus. When I slow down long enough to reflect I can see how I have matured over the years. I have learned to trust Him. My obedience is no longer begrudging compliance but comes out of gratitude for the gift of grace and mercy I receive every day.

I can see how many areas of growth I have experienced. Satan wants me to focus on the areas that still need refining and ignore how much God has already done in my life.

I know that Jesus will take care of me today and forever. Because of that promise I don’t experience the anxiety that Maggie does on occasion. Jesus made this amazing promise in the Gospel of Matthew.

²⁰…And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age.”

Matthew 28:20, NLT

I have the assurance of my eternity and that I will never be abandoned.

The first canine hero of my book Stay was another rescued Labrador. Hannah was a once in a lifetime dog that came into a tough season of our life and was an amazing companion. To be honest, Maggie was a challenge compared to Hannah. But that is how relationships of love go. Some are easier than others, but all are worth the effort.

The apostle Peter said it well in his first letter, words that we all should take to heart.

Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins.

1 Peter 4:8

We all fall short. We all sin. We all need love when we fail. We all need grace. My prayer for all of us is that we will become infectious carriers of God’s amazing grace. We played the long game with Maggie and she has become a sweet and gentle friend. Jesus plays that long game with me and I can see how His patient hand is refining me over time. If you are a follower of Jesus He is doing the same thing for you. Even if you are in a bad season Jesus is patiently and tenderly waiting to be your strength and bring triumph out of trials. My prayer is that you will trust and embrace the process.

August 8, 2022
Get Out Of Groundhog Day Faith

Every year they rudely awaken Punxsutawney Phil long enough for the reluctant rodent to let us know if six more weeks of winter awaits. Phil always looks as happy as I do when when I am disturbed in the morning. Twenty-eight years ago a funny and underappreciated movie came on the scene. Groundhog Day told the story of a self-absorbed news reporter (redundancy alert?) that finds himself stuck in an endless repeat of the same day. Bill Murray is perfect in the role of reporter Phil Connors. Reporter Phil is less than thrilled that he has been assigned to cover Punxsutawney Phil. He feels he is “above” such an inane assignment. Connor’s looks into the camera and cynically reports:

“This is one time where television really fails to capture the true excitement of a large squirrel predicting the weather.”

The premise of the movie is that Phil Connors is doomed to live the same day over and over and over. For Connors, Groundhog Day begins each morning at 6:00 A.M as Sonny & Cher’s “I Got You Babe” blares out from his alarm clock radio. The twist is that his (and only his) memories of the “previous” day remain intact, trapped in a seemingly endless “time loop” to repeat the same day endlessly.

I thought of another famous Bill Murray quote…this time from Stripes.

And then depression set in.

So what is the point of these ramblings? Is it to impress you with my cerebral movie tastes? The point is that too many followers of Jesus are stuck in a Groundhog Day life of their own. They wake up every day and feel trapped in a repeating pattern of frustrating behavior. And then, depression sets in. Why is that? I lived a Groundhog Day kind of faith for years. The Apostle Paul wrote about this very thing (not the giant rodent part…the repeating behavior part) in his letter to the Romans.

I decide to do good, but I don’t really do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway. My decisions, such as they are, don’t result in actions. Something has gone wrong deep within me and gets the better of me every time. (Romans 7, The Message)

Wow…can I relate to that. A bit later Paul writes…I’ve tried everything and nothing helps. I’m at the end of my rope. Is there no one who can do anything for me? Isn’t that the real question?

That is the real question. And there is a real answer offered by Paul.

The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does. He acted to set things right in this life of contradictions where I want to serve God with all my heart and mind, but am pulled by the influence of sin to do something totally different.

So what can you do to get out of this sin spiral?

Nothing.

Wait! Don’t let depression set in. This is good news! You and I can’t do it. I am incapable in my own efficacy to escape my spiritual Groundhog Day. Only Jesus can enable me to escape this endless loop of frustration. Further advice from Paul follows in Chapter 8 of his amazing letter to the Romans.

But if God himself has taken up residence in your life, you can hardly be thinking more of yourself than of him.

Allow the truth of that verse to soak in.

Want to get out of your Groundhog Day existence? Most readers of these humble ramblings realize they couldn’t deal with their sin separation from God on their own. We needed Jesus. So why do we think we can deal with our ongoing sin issues on our own? When the Father looks at me on my very worst day this is what He sees.

Jesus.

That is step one. I don’t have to clean up the sin to please God. He loves me already because of Jesus. Step Two. I am learning daily to recognize that the Spirit of God has taken up residence in my life. I am learning that I am the one who limits His power by restricting access and not trusting Him with my thoughts and actions. I am learning that I don’t need to wake up to the frustrating effects of repeated self-effort. I can wake up trusting God, trusting that Jesus has my sin covered and trusting that the Spirit of God will allow me to resolve that sin. Trusting God and what His Word says to be true allows me to escape the Groundhog Day syndrome.

The moral of the movie Groundhog Day was that Phil Connor needed to learn that he was self-absorbed and dependent on his selfish efforts to get ahead. The moral of the spiritual groundhog day is to learn that we cannot depend on our self efforts to live a joyful and free Christian life. I come to Jesus by grace and total dependence. I live for Jesus by grace and total dependence. While the other groundhog is busy predicting weather I would suggest you try this for the next six weeks. When the alarm jars you awake remember this truth. Instead of the Sonny and Cher song you can sing “I Got You Lord”. The two of you can end this “Groundhog Day” of frustration. I can’t help you with the weather.

February 2, 2022
The Devastating Toll of Anxiety and Worry

I see a lot of worried people around me. Worried about the pandemic. Worried about the national division. Worried about international tensions. Worried about all kinds of things. But this old proverb rings true today.

“Worry is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do but it doesn’t get you anywhere.”

As I get older I experience more and more how practical Scripture is for daily living. In the teaching of my youth the Bible was a book of lofty and seemingly impossible demands to behave in a way that would please God. Now I see that the Bible is a love story where Jesus met those impossible demands on my behalf. I see now that my simple faith and trust pleases God. And I see a practical book that shows me how to find joy during this temporary journey on earth. The Designer knew when we left the factory that worry is destructive. The study above merely confirms what Jesus said a couple of millenia ago.

“That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn’t life more than food, and your body more than clothing? Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are? Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?” (Matthew 6:25-27, NLT)

Jesus continues in the same message.

“So don’t worry about these things, saying, ‘What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?’ These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need. So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.” (Matthew, 6:31-34)

Our Designer knew something else. Most of what we consume ourselves with never happens or is not worth getting anxious about. Modern research verifies ancient wisdom.

A research study examined how many times an imagined calamity actually came to pass. In this study, subjects were asked to write down their worries over an extended period of time and then identify which of their imagined misfortunes did not actually happen.

The remarkable results came back that 85 percent of what subjects worried about never happened! Slow down and digest that. Eighty-five percent of what we work ourselves into varied states of frenzy about never even happens. And here is the even more remarkable finding. For the 15 percent of the worry agenda that did happen, nearly 80 percent of the respondents reported they were able to deal with the concern better than expected or they learned a valuable lesson from the event. So 97 percent of what the majority of this study group worried about was not worth wasting the energy, faith and time.

Worry is exactly where the Enemy wants to keep the children of God. Living in fear of the future cheats you out of today. A precious moment tugs on your heart like a child at your sleeve. Too often you miss that moment concerning yourself with something that likely won’t happen or will happen in a way that your worry can not change.

For those of you who struggle with worry maybe it helps to remember that your Heavenly Father is always on the job. Worry is not an attribute of our God. I suspect that it grieves His heart that we are paralyzed with worry when our Father is calling us to know Him, trust Him and rest in Him.

Trusting Jesus for tomorrow, next week, next year and forever frees us to see what this moment holds. No amount of worry will change the fact that we will face death, adversity and sadness.

As a young believer one of my favorite artists was Andrae Crouch. His lyrics powerfully showed how God uses trials to help us mature in our faith.

I’ve had many tears and sorrows
I’ve had questions for tomorrow
There’s been times I didn’t know right from wrong
But in every situation
God gave me blessed consolation
That my trials come to only make me strong

Through it all
Through it all
I’ve learned to trust in Jesus
I’ve learned to trust in God

Through it all
Through it all
I’ve learned to depend upon His Word

I pray that all of us learn to trust in Jesus and depend upon His Word in this difficult season.

Much of this article was excerpted from Waking Up Slowly. The book discusses 21 different actions or attitudes that disconnect you from God and others. Check it out here.

January 24, 2022
The Folly of Trying to be in Control

You see t-shirts and signs that proclaim that I am the master of my destiny. Slogans like these sounded really empowering.

“If it is to be, it is up to me”

“If you can dream it you can achieve it”

I agree that having a good attitude and determination is important. But sometimes my life experience is more accurately described by the great boxer and philosopher Mike Tyson.

“Everyone has a plan ’til they get punched in the mouth”

Yep. Well said Mike. No matter how much I may plan my life I will face the inevitable “punches” in the mouth that life delivers. No amount of efforts to control my life will prevent illness. I do not have control over every relationship in my life. I cannot keep those I care about from making bad decisions. I cannot control unforeseeable circumstances that impact those I love. Just last week I had a couple of Mike Tyson moments.

James warns about the folly of thinking that we are in control.

Look here, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we are going to a certain town and will stay there a year. We will do business there and make a profit.” How do you know what your life will be like tomorrow? Your life is like the morning fog—it’s here a little while, then it’s gone. What you ought to say is, “If the Lord wants us to, we will live and do this or that.” Otherwise you are boasting about your own pretentious plans, and all such boasting is evil. (James 4:13-16, NLT)

The one thing we can be sure of is that we have trials and heartaches in this journey. The question I must answer is how will I deal with the inevitable? I pondered the answer to that question in my book Stay: Lessons My Dogs Taught Me about Life, Loss, and Grace.

One person responds to tragedy with deeper faith. Another turns from God in anger, perhaps never to return. What is the difference? Perhaps this parable that Jesus related in Matthew’s Gospel offers the biggest clue. When the storm hits, what matters most is the foundation that you have built your faith upon.
Anyone who listens to my teaching and follows it is wise, like a person who builds a house on solid rock. Though the rain comes in torrents and the floodwaters rise and the winds beat against that house, it won’t collapse because it is built on bedrock. But anyone who hears my teaching and doesn’t obey it is foolish, like a person who builds a house on sand. When the rains and floods come and the winds beat against that house, it will collapse with a mighty crash. (Matthew 7:24-27)
I have dealt with loss by relying on both types of foundations. My early theology was built on the shifting sand of self-effort and discipline. When the storm came, my “house of faith” collapsed like a house of cards. When I began to build on a foundation of identity and trusting who God is, my house of faith weathered the storm without being destroyed. The storm battered me full force, but the house stood.
What is that foundation made of? I would suggest that these are the foundation stones.
God is all powerful.
God is all knowing.
God is love.
God is holy.
God is good.
God is just.
God is righteous.
God is grace.
God is sovereign.
God is unchanging.
God is joy.
God is forgiving.
God is truth.
God is patient.
If the Gospel message is true—and I believe it is—then God says to trust Him when we face trials. His ways are not our ways, and His timing is certainly not ours, but His love is real and faithful.
Excerpt from Stay: Lessons My Dogs Taught Me about Life, Loss, and Grace

Today I choose to stand on that foundation. I am not in control but I am confident in the One who is. To quote the old hymn that my dad loved so much.

Many things about tomorrow
I don’t seem to understand
But I know Who holds tomorrow
And I know Who holds my hand

Order your copy of Stay: Lessons My Dogs Taught Me about Life, Loss, and Grace.

August 15, 2021
The Spiritual Cost of Worry

I see a lot of worried people around me. Worried about the pandemic. Worried about the election. Worried about all kinds of things. But this old proverb rings true today.

“Worry is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do but it doesn’t get you anywhere.”

As I get older I experience more and more how practical Scripture is for daily living. In the teaching of my youth the Bible was a book of lofty and seemingly impossible demands to behave in a way that would please God. Now I see that the Bible is a love story where Jesus met those impossible demands on my behalf. I see now that my simple faith and trust pleases God. And I see a practical book that shows me how to find joy during this temporary journey on earth. The Designer knew when we left the factory that worry is destructive. The study above merely confirms what Jesus said a couple of millenia ago.

“That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn’t life more than food, and your body more than clothing? Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are? Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?” (Matthew 6:25-27, NLT)

Jesus continues in the same message.

“So don’t worry about these things, saying, ‘What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?’ These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need. So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.” (Matthew, 6:31-34)

Our Designer knew something else. Most of what we consume ourselves with never happens or is not worth getting anxious about. Modern research verifies ancient wisdom.

A research study examined how many times an imagined calamity actually came to pass. In this study, subjects were asked to write down their worries over an extended period of time and then identify which of their imagined misfortunes did not actually happen.

The remarkable results came back that 85 percent of what subjects worried about never happened! Slow down and digest that. Eighty-five percent of what we work ourselves into varied states of frenzy about never even happens. And here is the even more remarkable finding. For the 15 percent of the worry agenda that did happen, nearly 80 percent of the respondents reported they were able to deal with the concern better than expected or they learned a valuable lesson from the event. So 97 percent of what the majority of this study group worried about was not worth wasting the energy, faith and time.

Worry is exactly where the Enemy wants to keep the children of God. Living in fear of the future cheats you out of today. A precious moment tugs on your heart like a child at your sleeve. Too often you miss that moment concerning yourself with something that likely won’t happen or will happen in a way that your worry can not change.

For those of you who struggle with worry maybe it helps to remember that your Heavenly Father is always on the job. Worry is not an attribute of our God. I suspect that it grieves His heart that we are paralyzed with worry when our Father is calling us to know Him, trust Him and rest in Him.

Trusting Jesus for tomorrow, next week, next year and forever frees us to see what this moment holds. No amount of worry will change the fact that we will face death, adversity and sadness.

As a young believer one of my favorite artists was Andrae Crouch. His lyrics powerfully showed how God uses trials to help us mature in our faith.

I’ve had many tears and sorrows
I’ve had questions for tomorrow
There’s been times I didn’t know right from wrong
But in every situation
God gave me blessed consolation
That my trials come to only make me strong

Through it all
Through it all
I’ve learned to trust in Jesus
I’ve learned to trust in God

Through it all
Through it all
I’ve learned to depend upon His Word

I pray that all of us learn to trust in Jesus and depend upon His Word in this difficult season.

Much of this article was excerpted from Waking Up Slowly. The book discusses 21 different actions or attitudes that disconnect you from God and others. Check it out here.

November 2, 2020
What Do Real Christians Do?

Recently I passed a highway billboard with this message.

Real Christians Obey Jesus.

I get the intent of the message. Too many folks leave their Sunday Lesson in the parking lot as they drive to lunch. But exactly what does it mean to be a “real Christian”? We subtly (or in my own experience, not so subtly) program Christians to believe that growth is about doing more right things. That righteousness somehow involves my extraordinary efforts for Jesus. We imply that change can only happen when you are trying hard and being disciplined for God. The truth is that a dramatic change has already happened when you make that faith commitment to follow Jesus. I think one of the biggest problems in the church is that we don’t teach clearly and repetitively what happens at the very moment we put our faith in the finished work of Christ.

Let’s just hit the highlights. Scripture tells you that at that moment you have a new identity. You are literally a new creation. God sees you as righteous because of your relationship with Jesus. That’s it. Nothing you have done or ever will do earns that righteousness. It is a gift of grace. You are a saint. Redeemed. Adopted as His beloved child. Right then. Before you do a single thing. You are changed completely when you trust Christ.

The trick is living out of that truth. Instead of exhausting effort to try and change I now see Jesus putting His arm around me and explaining that I have been already been changed. I see Him telling me that my sins are completely forgiven. I see Him explaining to me that all of those things that used to be true about me are no longer true. That no matter what the Accuser might say those things are dead and buried at the Cross. I don’t have to grit my teeth and try harder to win favor and please Him. That sin does not have power over me anymore. That if I trust Him and let God love me I will please Him. My faith and trust is what pleases Him according to God’s Word.

All I need to do to be a “real” Christian is to believe and trust that. I have been a follower of Jesus for five decades. During stretches of that journey you would have been hard pressed to see if that my faith was real. What potential judges would not have seen was that Jesus was slowly and patiently working in my life to make me more in His image. I am a very different person today than I was in my early walk. It was never helpful to have someone point out that “if I was a real Christian” I would be doing this or that. What did help was having grace filled believers come along side me, believe in me, and help me find the gift of grace that Jesus offers. Those are the people you remember with gratitude and joy.

Jesus talks about how we limit our ability to have peace when we don’t allow Him to provide us with strength. He didn’t mention a harness of legalism and works. He talked instead about a yoke, and that His yoke is “easy.”

Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30, NLT)

Jesus wants you to don His yoke. Trust Him. Have faith. He has done the heavy lifting already. Rest in Him. Learn how to be humble and gentle in spirit. Quit trying so dadgum (that may not be in the Greek) hard and serve out of grateful love. Jesus tells us when we believe those truths, our burdens are light. The walk with Him is easy and natural.

Being a “real” Christian means beginning each day with a profound sense of gratitude that Jesus offered me this gift of grace. A “real” Christian would never, never, never take advantage of a God who loves you so much that such a sacrifice was made.

I do believe a “real” Christian obeys Jesus but it is so critical to clarify why and how. I obey out of gratitude for His grace. I love Him because He loved me first. Jesus loved me when I was unlovable. Forgave me when I was unforgivable. How hard is it to follow and obey someone who loves you like that? Not hard at all. And that is real.

Excerpts from Waking Up Slowly

October 12, 2020
Hump Day Hope : Come on. Say it! Say it!

The use of Hump Day to describe the midweek turning point has been around for awhile. It became a bigger part of the national lexicon thanks to a commercial and a camel.

I wish I was mature enough to say I was only mildly amused by the Geico commercial featuring the overbearing camel wandering through an office. I can’t. I stopped whatever I was doing every time it came on.

The hope of this humble rambling each Wednesday is to provide a little hope to get you to the weekend. This is how hope is defined as a verb by dictionary.com.

…to feel that something desired may happen.

Example: I hope that the Cleveland Browns will play in a Super Bowl before I die. It is interesting that the next meaning of the verb hope is noted as archaic.

…Archaic. to place trust; rely (usually followed by in)

Call me archaic (my sons and workmates often do) but that definition is what I need this Hump Day. In a world gone crazy I need some place to put my trust that is trustworthy.

Billy Graham summarized it beautifully.

“God’s mercy and grace give me hope – for myself, and for our world.“

Well played. I believe that ultimately God’s sovereign plan will be completed in this world. What I need on Hump Day is hope for myself to be able to deal with the cards that life is dealing. Pastor/writer Rick Warren has a helpful reminder.

“What gives me the most hope every day is God’s grace; knowing that his grace is going to give me the strength for whatever I face, knowing that nothing is a surprise to God.”

So instead of trying to figure out why I am going through a trial with something or someone I should turn to the One who offers hope that I can persevere. Paul talks about hope in his amazing letter to the church at Rome.

For in hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope, because who hopes for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we eagerly wait for it with endurance. (Romans 8:24-25, NET)

And what is that hope?

For we have heard of your faith in Christ Jesus and your love for all of God’s people, which come from your confident hope of what God has reserved for you in heaven. You have had this expectation ever since you first heard the truth of the Good News. (Colossians 1:4-5, NLT)

I have wasted a lot of time trying to figure out why. That is a waste of precious time. My hope and my trust is in Jesus. Together we have this. Or as Paul more eloquently wrote.

Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying. (Romans 12:12, NLT)

It is okay to be archaic. You can be old school if that makes you feel better. But remember where your hope is today. I give the last word to my friend the camel. “Awww, come on! I know you can hear me!”

November 12, 2014