Charisa Stories

Tag: when bad christians happen to good people

  • Can We Change the Culture?

    Can We Change the Culture?

    Watching the news on television is devastatingly depressing. I prefer to spend my leisure moments reading, listening to music, and walking with canine friend Maggie. On today’s walk I pondered whether this culture can be redeemed while Maggie sniffed and checked p-mail.

    So many smart, and I pray, well intentioned people think our society can be changed through programs and education. Before you hit cancel I am open to all helpful options. While it is possible we have a head problem Jesus said the real problem comes from the heart.

    “But the words you speak come from the heart—that’s what defiles you. For from the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, all sexual immorality, theft, lying, and slander.”
    (Matthew 15:18-19, NLT)

    Change happens from the inside out. I wrote about the culture war in my book “When Bad Christians Happen to Good People”. Here is an excerpt from that discussion.

    If I were to ask the average Christian what victory in the culture war would look like today, I would probably get answers along these lines: Abortion would be outlawed. Gender issues would go away. The Ten Commandments would hang in every courthouse, and kids would pray in school.

    But would accomplishing these objectives constitute victory? Many Christians think it is our mission to rid the world of sin. That is not going to happen until Jesus returns to reign. We have tried through politics and failed miserably. We have tried boycotts. We tried advertising and media with very mixed results. We have targeted immorality but have not helped those hurt by or entrapped in it. We fight abortion. We denounce same sex relationships. We battle Hollywood and television and the evil media. We rail against pornography.

    As a young man who grew up in the ’50s and ’60s, I can confirm that all of the aforementioned cultural indicators now sought by many Christians were once in place: There was no legalized abortion or significant gay political presence. We prayed at school functions and watched Ozzie and Harriet on television instead of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Pornography was not easy to obtain. Yet the sexual revolution, rampant drug use, violent political protest, and explosive racial tension emerged from that very era. Hmmm.

    We Christians have missed our calling. The church needs to understand that even if we devoured every single moral issue on our evangelical plates, the people of this world would still be seeking meaning and purpose in their lives. All of the cultural issues I’ve mentioned so far are merely symptoms of a bigger problem: the internal condition of people. Political and legal processes can only restrain sin. Only the changing of individuals can really affect a society as a whole. And that is where we have missed the boat. We can attempt legislation of morals until the end of time. But change comes from the inside (heart) out…rarely from the outside (rules) in. We cannot herd sin neatly into our theological corral. Sin cannot be managed by moralism. Unfortunately Christians are more identified by what we oppose than Who we follow.

    How did the early church have such a profound impact with no money, power or influence? By giving their heart and soul to God. They gave Him control and out of that surrender they gave and served selflessly. They loved the unlovable. Cared for those that no one else would care for. Risked their lives to comfort those dying of infectious disease and sacrificed their own possessions for orphans and widows. Their lives were so powerful that the culture could not help but notice. Even the pagan writers of the day marveled at the sacrifice of these “Christians”. The followers of Christ who changed the world did not drive fancy cars and have perfect hair. They sold out in complete trust and allowed God to change them from the inside out. They served sacrificially.

    Jesus talked about the danger of a religion that tries to work from the outside in.

    “What sorrow awaits you teachers of religious law and you Pharisees. Hypocrites! For you are so careful to clean the outside of the cup and the dish, but inside you are filthy—full of greed and self-indulgence! You blind Pharisee! First wash the inside of the cup and the dish, and then the outside will become clean, too.” (Matthew 23, NLT)

    That is my prayer for today. I want to live from the inside out. I have been changed but I want to live out of that truth. Don’t think that I am against having heartfelt convictions about cultural issues. I am not. But I am against communicating those concerns to a hurting world apart from grace and the love of Christ. God’s plan will be accomplished. In the meantime we need to be loving others selflessly.

    That is the cry of my heart today.

  • The Most Important Question Ever?

    The Most Important Question Ever?

    The movie Risen offers a unique look at the crucifixion and resurrection of Jesus. How did a worldwide movement arise after the ignominious death of their leader? It all hinged on one question. Did Jesus rise from the dead?

    I wrote the following about the improbable rise of these early Jesus followers in my book “When Bad Christians Happen to Good People” a few years ago.

    History records that several alleged messianic figures were running around during the time of Christ. It is possible that some of them had followers as impressive as the twelve selected by Jesus. Jesus took twelve guys of questionable attributes and built the largest faith in the world.

    Not one of the other would-be messiahs’ influence made it into the second century, let alone the twenty-first. So our calendar is dated by the birth of Christ. Does it not pique your curiosity that such a band of men could have such a global impact? No other man in history has had a greater effect, yet His ministry lasted only three years and ended in betrayal and a criminal execution. His blue-collar band of disciples led a religion that turned the world upside down. His disciples scattered and, on the way out the door, denied Him. And yet something transformed them, and they later had the courage to stand against persecution and even death to proclaim His truth. Somehow these men were persuasive enough to influence people to spread His gospel all over the globe.

    Does it not seem odd that the leaders of that day who possessed absolute power could not stamp out this modest little faith? Why did they not produce the body of Jesus and put an end to the craziness once and for all? It was certainly in the best interests of Rome and the comfortable “Religious Right” of the day to quell this peasant uprising. Or, if they couldn’t produce the body, why didn’t they simply discredit the Resurrection account in such a way that no one would believe it? The resurrection of Christ is a pretty outrageous claim, and it would seem easy to refute.

    That was why the story line of  Risen was intriguing to me. Historically, there was a Nazarene who was crucified. There were two groups that had a tremendous interest in making sure that was the end of his story. The Romans wanted no movement to grow that would cause political unrest. The Jewish leaders wanted to stamp out the heresy that they believed this teacher was spreading and also keep their power intact. It was a win-win for the religious leaders and Rome to eliminate this messianic hope of the people.

    The story is told through the eyes of Roman soldier and Tribune Clavius. He is tasked by Herod to make sure the crazy followers of this man did not steal the body. A rumor had been circulating that the Nazarene would rise again in three days so Clavius makes sure the stone is rolled into place and the tomb is sealed. Roman guards are put in place knowing they will be killed if they fail to keep the body securely in the tomb.

    Three days later the body is gone and Clavius begins a desperate hunt to find the body. The battle hardened soldier cannot accept that this Nazarene named Jesus could have somehow come back to life. That is a step of faith that people are still wrestling with 2,000 years later. But it is the most important question of all if you are to put your faith in Jesus. Pastor/Author Tim Keller sums it up.

    “If Jesus rose from the dead, then you have to accept all that he said; if he didn’t rise from the dead, then why worry about any of what he said? The issue on which everything hangs is not whether or not you like his teaching but whether or not he rose from the dead.”

    The movie explores the imagined lengths that the Romans and religious leaders go to to quell the rumor that Jesus has risen. They try to find the body or any body that could be displayed to stop the rumors. They did not.

    I struggled with these same questions over forty years ago.

    • How could the body disappear?
    • How did the Apostles who were so afraid become heroes of the faith and willing to die a martyr’s death? Simply because they stole the body out of a tomb?That made no sense to me.
    • And could they have kept a lie of such massive implications secret?

    I love the honest evaluation of former Watergate principle Chuck Colson.

    “I know the resurrection is a fact, and Watergate proved it to me. How? Because 12 men testified they had seen Jesus raised from the dead, then they proclaimed that truth for 40 years, never once denying it. Every one was beaten, tortured, stoned and put in prison. They would not have endured that if it weren’t true. Watergate embroiled 12 of the most powerful men in the world-and they couldn’t keep a lie for three weeks. You’re telling me 12 apostles could keep a lie for 40 years? Absolutely impossible.”

    Honest people can view the same evidence and come up with completely different opinions. I wrestled with the claims of Jesus Christ for a long time before I decided to believe that He was who He claimed to be. And I remember feeling exactly what the fictional character Clavius felt when asked what he feared most.

    “Being wrong. Wagering eternity on it.”

  • Time for a Family Conference!

    Time for a Family Conference!

    While our three sons were living under our roof there were five words that struck fear in their hearts.

    “Time for a family conference”.

    They knew that I was about to have a conversation with them and I was going to do most of the talking. I suspect they felt I was being punitive when I called for a conference. The truth is I was pursuing protective love and not punishment. Protective love sees a family dynamic that is hurting someone in the family and when one in the family is hurting all of us are hurting.

    When I see the current dynamics of my Christian family I wish I could call a family conference with a heart of protective love. I see social media posts from friends who identify with Jesus that are downright mean and ungraceful. Some repost things that are supposed to be funny but are disrespectful. Others repost sensational stories without verifying them. All of those actions dim the light of our witness.

    I totally understand that there are cultural trends that dismay followers of Jesus. I support standing up for the truth. But I am convicted more than ever that the only way to have an impact is to communicate that truth in love.

    I already know the push back from some readers. They remind me that Jesus got angry and even destructive when he overturned the tables in the Temple. Fair point. So I have compiled a brief survey to complete. Please check each statement that is true about you.

    _____ I have never sinned.

    _____ I know with 100 per cent accuracy the heart and motives of those I disagree with.

    If you can check both of those statements then I will happily grant you the “Jesus Exemption”. For the rest of us I would suggest that we concentrate more on following the words of Jesus.

    “Do to others as you would like them to do to you. If you love only those who love you, why should you get credit for that?” Luke 6:31

    Or maybe we should follow the example of Paul. He found himself in Athens surrounded by people that had to upset him. His strategy was brilliant and instructive for social media today. I wrote about it in When Bad Christians Happen to Good People.

    What if we decided to be a kinder and gentler culture warrior, fearlessly and boldly confronting the culture with a great and incomprehensible love? I can tell you in advance that the results would be mixed. Acts 17 documents the apostle Paul’s visit to the city of Athens, a city that caused him great distress (the Greek word, roughly translated, means “ticked off”) because the city was full of idols. Yet, instead of arguing with or maligning the Jews and God-fearing Greeks, he reasoned with them and others who came to listen. Paul was introducing them to some strange ideas, and they wanted to know more. Verse 21 notes that residents of Athens spent their time doing nothing but talking about and listening to the latest ideas. Their pastime could be considered an ancient version of our talk-radio format. I love what happens next. Paul met his audience where they were. He stood up and said, “Men of Athens! I see that in every way you are very religious. For as I walked around and looked carefully at your objects of worship [notice no condemnation of the idols that Paul obviously found distasteful], I even found an altar with this inscription: to an unknown god. Now what you worship as something unknown I am going to proclaim to you” (verses 22-23).

    Brilliant! In broadcasting this is known as packaging your idea. You set up a common interest and then tease the audience with the coming payoff to keep them tuned in. But what if Paul and the early believers had approached Athens with some of the strategies we use today? Several believers would march throughout the marketplace defiantly holding up placards:

    “If you think you are stoic now, wait till the Lord returns!”

    “Hey, Epicureans…the party’s over!”

    What if Paul had stepped up and announced, “Repent, you pagan, godless sons of the devil, before you burn in a fiery hell. Take your idols and put them where the goddess of sunlight doesn’t shine.”

    I don’t think Paul would have had much of an audience, let alone success. When he finished speaking to the crowd in Athens, the Bible records the box score. It’s pretty much what you and I can expect when we sincerely and lovingly explain our faith. Some of them sneered. Some of them said, “We want to hear you again on this subject.” And a few “believed.” Paul endured all that he did for those who believed and those who wanted to hear more. He could not have enjoyed the sneers. While that response is not unexpected, it is never fun.

    The early church had no chance to “win” the culture war. Instead they built a community of believers that infiltrated the culture.

    Winning hearts almost always works by communicating the truth with grace and love. Truth communicated as law will harden hearts. Truth communicated with grace and love has a chance to soften and change them. To wit, I have never seen one single example of a person persuaded by a Facebook rant. I have seen hundreds hardened in their beliefs (right or wrong) by those tactics.

    Change happens when the God’s love breaks through the hurt and confusion of the past and shows the future hope of grace and forgiveness. I will buy you coffee if you can show when a change of heart happened by being harangued and called names. Change happens when the gentle and quiet voice of the Spirit touches a wounded heart. So my plea to my fellow followers of Jesus is to realize you represent Him when you proclaim your truths in the name of Jesus. If you can’t be graceful you might prayerfully consider removing the Jesus tags from your bio. I don’t say that to be mean. I am simply saying if you are representing Jesus you have this standard to follow.

    God blesses those who work for peace,
        for they will be called the children of God. Matthew 5:9

    And I might call in Paul for backup at my family conference.

    Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them. Ephesians 4:29

    Let your conversation be gracious and attractive so that you will have the right response for everyone. Colossians 4:6

    I know how easy it is to get riled up with internet threads. Remember who you represent and respond accordingly. Jesus makes it clear.

    A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart, and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart. What you say flows from what is in your heart. Luke 6:45

    All followers of Jesus need to prayerfully examine our hearts before we hit send.

  • Tired of Going Through the Motions?

    Tired of Going Through the Motions?

    Flying home this weekend I put the music list on shuffle and a song by the iconic Willie Nelson touched my soul. The lyrics of “Tired” caused a lot of reflection, sadness and prayer.

    The narrative tells about the life of a factory worker who is merely going through the motions of life.

    Married Rebecca back in seventy-seven
    I still love her and I guess she loves me too
    We go to church on Sundays `cause we want to go to heaven
    Me and my family, ain`t that how you`re supposed to do

    That describes so many people that I know. Tired of their job. Treading water in their relationship. Going to church because they don’t know what else to do. It is particularly sad that so many Christians settle for a faith that leaves them discouraged and prone to sing the chorus of this song.

    But I`m tired, Lord I`m tired
    Life is wearin` me smooth down to the bone
    No rest for the weary, ya just move on
    Tired, Lord I`m tired

    This song penetrated my heart because that was me just about twelve years ago. After four decades of uneven striving I was simply tired. I was resigned to stubbornly stumbling toward the finish line so I could finally find joy in glory. The following excerpt is from the revised version of When Bad Christians Happen to Good People and it reflects the change in my heart.

    My fear of cheap grace and being soft on sin had led me into a dead end path of moralism and legalism. Legalism takes the sweet Gospel of Jesus Christ and mixes in some “churchified” version of the law. Church by-laws occupy equal footing with God’s Word. Righteousness is no longer about Christ but about right behavior as only they define it. Legalism cherry picks verses that support behavioral control while conveniently ignoring dozens of verses about grace, forgiveness, kindness, love, gentleness and forbearance.

    Focusing on right behavior can make you moral and perhaps a good person. It does not make you righteous. Such focus is not much different (if at all) from an agnostic or sporadic church-goer who really tries hard to do right and moral things. Tim Keller wrote this provocative thought about legalism in his wonderful book The Reason for God.

    The devil, if anything, prefers Pharisees—men and women who try to save themselves. They are more unhappy than either mature Christians or irreligious people, and they do a lot more spiritual damage. (Timothy Keller, The Reason for God: Belief in an Age of Skepticism, Dutton Adult, 2007)

    Without a doubt. I have been damaged. I have seen loved ones damaged. I have damaged others. I hate legalism but I don’t hate legalists. I hurt for them. I suspect they are as tired, miserable and wondering what happened to their once joyous message of the Gospel as I was.

    Righteousness is entirely because of Christ. Nothing I have done or will do will make me righteous. I spent three decades trying to be “righteous”. When I hit a dry spell I would try harder, read more books, buck up and beat myself up because I felt so distant from God. Lots of helpful Christian friends would faithfully remind me that God hadn’t moved so it had to be me. So I disliked myself more and tried harder and God seemed even more distant. I wrote a book about what to do with lambs that are wounded by the church and THEN I got wounded again by the church. It was like God was mocking me. I had reached the end of my spiritual rope. I cried out to Jesus something deep and insightful along these lines.

    “I CAN’T DO THIS ANYMORE!”

    God does not get insulted by all-caps. In fact, I picture Jesus smiling at that point because I was finally ready to trust Him and not myself. I had reached the point of brokenness that allowed me to really follow Him completely. I reached the point where I no longer had to be right. I had reached the point where I didn’t want to wear a phony mask of holiness. I had reached the point where I was willing to trust God completely with everything about me. I had reached the point where I was ready for grace. I had reached the point where I was willing to believe what God says is true about me. That I am completely forgiven. I am completely loved. I am completely changed because of Christ. I am completely empowered with the Holy Spirit to mature into all of those things that are already true about me. I am righteous not because of anything I have done but entirely because of Christ.

    If you are tired enough, discouraged enough, wounded enough and ready to scream you can’t do this anymore then I have good news. You have reached the point where you are ready for grace. God is waiting for you to experience His grace. Legalism is a dead end street to misery. There is a better road. What have you got to lose?

    Meditate on the familiar passage from Matthew 11 as translated in The Message.

    Come to me, all of you who labor and are burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke on you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.

    You can read about my grace journey in Stay: Lessons My Dogs Taught Me about Life, Loss, and Grace or When Bad Christians Happen to Good People.

  • What If?

    What If?

    Regular consumers of my humble ramblings (Bless your hearts!) know that I often find spiritual application from song lyrics both secular and sacred. Blame it on faulty brain wiring at the factory. This week I heard a snippet from Carly Simon’s haunting ballad “That’s The Way I’ve Always Heard It Should Be” that triggered today’s musing. The song talks about the ideal of marriage. Her partner wants to marry and is convinced their union will be different. The lyrical response hit my heart.

    You say we can keep our love alive
    Babe – all I know is what I see –

    She had seen too many marriages start with fairy tale dreams and end in sorrow. That sad topic is another blog. What hit me on this day was how that principle of believing only what you see is true for us as followers of Jesus. We tell people we have good news. We tell people we have an eternal hope. We tell people they need this Jesus we talk about. But what hurts my heart is that too many people echo Carly Simon’s response.

    All I know is what I see.

    I too often have not represented the freedom and grace that Jesus desires for me to experience. I began my book When Bad Christians Happen to Good People with this quote from Brennan Manning.
    “The greatest single cause of atheism in the world today is Christians who acknowledge Jesus with their lips and walk out the door and deny Him by their lifestyle. That is what an unbelieving world simply finds unbelievable.”

    Ouch. If my friends, family, and workmates don’t see anything different in my life then why should they listen? Wait..don’t leave me yet! I am not talking about legalistic sin management and self-righteous “good” behavior. I am talking about unvarnished honesty about the radical grace of Jesus. What if I showed them that kind of grace?

    What if I showed them grace that frees me to be wrong without shame and self-loathing? What if I demonstrated  grace that gives me the courage to be vulnerable and let them see who I really am? What if I let them know I am a total train wreck that needs that grace every moment of everyday? What if I lived out of grace that compels me to run to hurting souls instead of retreating to a safe distance to observe and hope it all works out okay?

    What if I quit agonizing about the uncertainty in the world and started sharing my belief that God is in control and He will always be with me (and you)? What if I genuinely showed gratitude for the small things as well as the big ones? What if I was consistently kind even when that action was inconvenient? What if I led instead of lamented about racial and other injustices? What if I acknowledged how much Jesus loves me by allowing that love flow to others? What if I shared that this relationship with Jesus isn’t based on performance or merit but 100 percent on unmerited Grace? What if I lived like God loves me on my worst day exactly the same as He loves me on my best day? What if I had this passage memorized and remembered it on the way out the door everyday?

    Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful.Let the message about Christ, in all its richness, fill your lives. Teach and counsel each other with all the wisdom he gives. Sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs to God with thankful hearts. And whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through him to God the Father. (Colossians 3:12-17, NLT)

    Famous theologian D.L.Moody wrote that “Out of 100 men, one will read the Bible, the other 99 will read the Christian.”

    That would be completely overwhelming if I tried to do it on my own. But thank God I don’t have to attempt that unassisted. Jesus promised to be with me and is there anyone better to have your back?

    Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. (Ephesians 3:17, NLT)

    If I can believe that I would guess this little light of mine would burn a few watts brighter. And maybe some skeptics would be willing to listen.