I am recovering from surgery after two difficult falls. My first fall on a Friday afternoon was an unfortunate accidental event. I picked up a package for a friend and was checking to make sure it was the right thing. I did not notice a step as I walked down the sidewalk. My foot twisted and I fell awkwardly. I knew my knee was severely damaged.
That was an unfortunate accident that I could have avoided but I do tend to believe that most accidents are not intentional. I was also grateful I was not looking at my phone when this happened. That could have gained me a lot of heartwarming insights like Job’s friends offered to him as he suffered.
So I had a trip to the ER. They placed a brace on the knee and assigned crutches to allow me to move around. I recommend that you not have accidents on weekends because the medical support staff is less available. I headed home to wait for a doctor’s appointment on Monday to evaluate the extent of damage and schedule surgery.
This is where it got really challenging. I had been moving around uncomfortably but successfully with the crutches. On Saturday night I stood up to get ready for bed and took a couple of steps forward. The next thing I knew I awakened on the floor to see the concerned look on my dear wife’s face. The Murphy, Texas city emergency responders were in my room getting me ready for another trip to the ER. My fall created a big gash in the back of my head that ended up needing nine staples to secure. But I did not suffer a concussion, so I was able to Dad joke during my first lifetime ambulance ride to a hospital. Surgery happened on Monday and I was released on Tuesday to begin a 6-month recovery process. Ouch.
Forgive me for sharing the ugly details but it is important to know all that I brought before the Lord in this struggle. How do I process this? Why did it happen? What should be going on in my heart and mind as I start this sometimes painful and long journey. The first question is why did God allow this to happen? Many years ago I would have focused on this question alone and wallowed in anger.
Suffering and difficult journeys are something most of us wish to constantly avoid. But here is what I realized as I looked back over my spiritual growth. Close to one hundred percent of my spiritual growth has happened during trials and challenges.
Here are my biggest takeaways and growth impacts from this accident.
The first thing I did was beat myself up for a careless fall. Why did I do that? What was I thinking? But it did not take too long on this reaction to recognize that every one is this fallen world is subject to accidental suffering. All people, those of faith and those who do not believe, live in in a fallen world where “life” happens. Good and bad. For believers we have a hope that God will comfort, be present, and help us live out the truth of these words written to the Roman people. Paul understood suffering at a level I likely never will and here is his response.
3 We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. 4 And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. 5 And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love. Romans 5:3-5
I realized that I could not reverse the fall. It happened. I will be extremely cautious in the future to watch my steps. But dwelling on that event will not help one bit. It’s over. Irreversible. So, trusting God, listening to the wisdom of my doctors, and doing the right things to recover needs to be my focus.
The main struggle I faced was the lengthy recovery from this surgery. A locked leg brace for 6 weeks and healing from 6 months to a year! I was, to be honest, angry. I had been walking daily and started working out a couple of months earlier. My flexibility, upper body, and core strength had been clearly improved. I was frustrated. And then the Holy Spirit brought a memory to my heart.
For many months I drove my dear friend and pastor Jeff Denton to his cancer treatments. We had wonderful and honest conversations about living a life of faith. One day I shared a reaction about disappointing thoughts and feelings toward a fellow believer. I felt like my reaction was sin and embarrassing for someone who has been in this journey with Jesus for so many years.
Jeff’s response drilled my heart and mind. Here was his response.
“We all have reactions to life in the flesh. That is the nature of our earthly bodies to respond in our flesh. I don’t know if your reaction was sin. Since you are already forgiven the key is how do you respond to those moments? Here is what I have figured out. If you stay in that attitude then it is highly likely to become sin. So the most important reaction is don’t stay there!”
I will never forget that insight from Jeff. Spiritual reaction in the flesh is how our emotions as humans initially hit our minds. So, a disappointing moment can be processed through self-reliance, emotional reactions, or sinful nature rather than trust in the Holy Spirit.
That insight from my friend has changed my life. We all have negative initial reactions at times. The key is do not stay there. Realize your need for the Holy Spirit and you will move in the right direction.
This is how the Spirit of God is changing my not so spiritually healthy initial reaction to my terribly slow injury recovery.
1) I am healing. The injury could have been worse and more difficult to repair. God arranged a top-notch sports orthopedic surgeon who happened to be on hospital duty that weekend to do my surgery. And I got to have emotional puppy support on my way to surgery!
2) I have a finish line. So many dear friends and family members will have to deal with pain for years or even the rest of their lives. I have only a few months until I should be back to what I call normal.
3) I was extraordinarily blessed with many years of pretty good physical health to work, travel, be active with the grandkids, and be a first-class dog walker. It is so important to count and remember your blessings even in challenging moments.
4) I will be grateful for whatever God has for me going forward. When I see the value of community in a season of sadness it makes me want to have that opportunity to love others even more. I trust God. I want whatever I can accomplish in my remaining time to show the love and grace of God. I want my actions to glorify God. He has blessed me so very much.
So here I go down the slow road of healing. Will I have moments of frustration and anger? Very likely.
Just pray with me that I won’t stay there.
Thanks Pastor Jeff. I will give you a giant hug when we are reunited in Heaven some day.
And here is the focus for my mind from Paul’s message to the Galatians.
“So I say, let the Holy Spirit guide your lives. Then you won’t be doing what your sinful nature craves.” Galatians 5:16 NLT
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