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Welcome to the experiment known as the iPod devotional series. Here is how it works. On the old iPod is a “shuffle songs” feature. You hit the button and the iPod randomly picks a song.  I am writing a blog about whatever song the device selects on that day from the 1,000 plus songs on my iPod. My music list will further confirm my status as a Christian who makes others feel superior. My music goes from Al Green to the Youngbloods. Beatles to U2. Old hymns to modern praise music. Toby Keith to Frank Sinatra. Oldies to the soundtrack from Monty Python’s Spamalot. This could be interesting.

Regular readers of this site know that I am a huge fan of the group Casting Crowns. So it is no surprise that a song from the Atlanta based group would come up in this series. The song is called If We Are The Body and the lyrics are convicting.

It’s crowded in worship today
As she slips in
Trying to fade into the faces
The girls’ teasing laughter is carrying farther than they know
Farther than they know

But if we are the Body
Why aren’t His arms reaching
Why aren’t His hands healing
Why aren’t His words teaching
And if we are the Body
Why aren’t His feet going
Why is His love not showing them there is a way
There is a way

We are the Body of Christ. So why aren’t His arms reaching? Why aren’t His hands healing? I am afraid the answer is a hard truth. We don’t care enough for the lost. We don’t ache for the hurting. We don’t sacrifice enough for the poor. If that offends you then I will make it more personal.

This week I have been absorbed with the Ohio State/Texas college football game. I grew up about 45 minutes from the Horseshoe (football stadium) at the Ohio State University. I love the Buckeyes. Last year’s loss to Texas wrecked Ohio State’s title hopes. I am not proud to admit that the Buckeye’s loss wrecked my mood for a couple of days.

This week I have read internet newspaper reports from Columbus, Ohio and Austin, Texas. I have thought about the game and how it might turn out. Yesterday I had a disturbing revelation. As I walked down the streets of Seattle and saw dozens of homeless and hopeless people it occured to me that I care far more about the game this Saturday than I do about these lonely people. Yeah, I know it sometimes feels overwhelming when you see the vast needs and incredible suffering. But I can do something. Helen Keller once said,  “I am only one; but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something; I will not refuse to do something I can do.”

I am not trying to shovel guilt on you or myself. There is a place for sports and entertainment. But the fact that I have spent more time (by far) reading about the game than I have reading God’s Word is revealing. I will still watch the game this week with a lot of passion. But I am determined to remember it is only a game. And I hope that I remember that I need to pray for at least a portion of that passion to be reserved for the poor and hurting and spiritually seeking.

I don’t intend to quit being an Ohio State fan. That is not a sin (except in Texas this week). I do believe I need to seek a balance in my life. I do desire to be a more passionate and willing participant in the Body of Christ. Because if I am not then His arms aren’t reaching as far as they could.

Why is His love not showing them there is a way
There is a way

I know by the grace of God that there is a way. His love is the way. What if His people really cared? What if I really cared? Wouldn’t it make a difference? There is one way to find out. That way is for us to take seriously that we are the Body of Christ. And then act accordingly. Straight talking James writes in the Book of James that “to one who knows the right thing to do and does not do it, to him it is sin.”

 I cannot argue that I do not know the right thing to do. My response will reveal my heart.

At every milestone post I like to see which articles have resonated with readers. Today was post number 200 of these humble ramblings. Sometimes I post a blog that I think is brilliant and it is met with a deafening yawn and the sounds of cyber crickets. At other times I have written an article that I thought was average and that piece has resonated with readers. So it it with considerable interest and overall confusion that I count down your Top 10 Bad Christian posts…

Number 10: What Would Jesus Say?

Number 9: It’s not easy being green and evangelical

Number 8: How to be a good buddy for cancer patients

Number 7: You have been warned!

Number 6: Is manliness endangered?

Number 5: Won the battle. Losing the war?

Number 4: Enroll now in the Canine School of Evangelism

Number 3: A Gentle Proposal to deal with Chad Allen, End of the Spear, Every Tribe Entertainment and One Another

Number 2: Sentences that change your life

And the very surprising (to me) top rated post.

Number 1: Time to post and run

Welcome to the experiment known as the iPod devotional series. Here is how it works. On the old iPod is a “shuffle songs” feature. You hit the button and the iPod randomly picks a song.  I am writing a blog about whatever song the device selects on that day from the 1,000 plus songs on my iPod. My music list will further confirm my status as a Christian who makes others feel superior. My music goes from Al Green to the Youngbloods. Beatles to U2. Old hymns to modern praise music. Toby Keith to Frank Sinatra. Oldies to the soundtrack from Monty Python’s Spamalot. This could be interesting.

Before we hit the shuffle button I have to share a series of questions from regular and no doubt beleaguered reader Steve. I had posed that the iPod Devotional series was a dual risk from Apple attorneys and…what? I never really explained the other risk. Since reader Steve has an inquiring mind he wrote the following…

The Apple lawyers I get, but what is the other risk?
A) That the random song the iPod picks is something you can’t use?
B) That the the resulting blog will be so sappy/ boring/ insipid/ etc. that no one will read it? (as if)
C) That the resulting blog will be so controversial/ inflammatory/ offensive/ etc. that you’ll get kicked off of Crosswalk.com?
D) That the artist/ composer/ record company will take issue with what you say and file suit?
E) That the iPod will fail to serve up a song at random?
F) That you will wake up and realize that you have been grooving to that random song for so long that there’s no time left to write?

So in a bonus edition of Ask a Bad Christian the answer is (G), all of the above. In reality my biggest fear is probably the first one…that a song will come up and I will be holding a large bag of nothing in response to that selection. I probably should be worried about (B) but I am not sure you can recognize your own insipidity.

Now that you realize the risks let us shuffle and pray.

Okay that was stupid. Note to self…next time pray and then shuffle.

Today’s song continues our God has a sense of humor theme. The iPod landed on Alison Krause and Union Station. Alison Krause has a voice like an angel. She is an artist that I can listen to no matter what my mood might be. But the sense of humor part comes in when the shuffle feature selected the song Crazy as Me.

The lyrics are talking about a series of failed relationships but the lyric that Alison Krause sings that relates to me are these words.

Some folks seem to think I only got one problem
I can’t find nobody as crazy as me

There are some drive-by readers that are pretty sure I have more than one problem but let’s put them aside for awhile. I laughed when this song came up because I often feel that way in my journey with Jesus. Am I missing something here? Does my messy walk with Jesus make me a bad Christian? Or does my willingness to be honest about my weakness give me a chance not to be a bad Christian? I have found a handful of committed followers of Jesus who are as crazy as me. But the bottom line is a bit disturbing. Shouldn’t we all be crazy if we are really following the teachings of Jesus?

I don’t mean drooling crazy. I am talking about doing things that make no sense to the world.

• The world says to look out for number one. Jesus says to look out for the least of these.


• The world says to spend time with those who can help you advance. Jesus says to spend time with the poor who can do nothing to make you more successful or reach your goals.


• The world says that the one with the most toys wins. Jesus says the one with most treasures stored in heaven wins.


• The world says get even and exact revenge. Jesus says to love your enemies and (I hate this one) pray for those who persecute.


• The world is fearful of disease, the future, the economy. Jesus says to not worry about tomorrow.


• The world says to build your financial security and you will be happy. Jesus says to build on the solid rock or your happiness won’t sustain the storms of life.


• The world evaluates us by our title, power, and stuff. Jesus evaluates us by our fruit.

So I guess if we actually live this counter-cultural lifestyle the world will think we are crazy.  Paul acknowledged that to the church at Corinth.

The man without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him, and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually discerned. I Cor 2 NIV

Foolishness. I used to think exactly that about the crazy Jesus people. Now I am as crazy as them. Who knew? And here is the exciting news. Everyday I am finding more followers of Jesus who want to be authentic and full of grace. That is the way I desire to represent Jesus to my world. And there is nothing crazy about that.

Welcome to the experiment known as the iPod devotional series. Here is how it works. On the old iPod is a “shuffle songs” feature. You hit the button and the iPod randomly picks a song.  I am writing a blog about whatever song the device selects on that day from the 1,000 plus songs on my iPod. My music list will further confirm my status as a Christian who makes others feel superior. My music goes from Al Green to the Youngbloods. Beatles to U2. Old hymns to modern praise music. Toby Keith to Frank Sinatra. Oldies to the soundtrack from Monty Python’s Spamalot. This could be interesting.

The tune is called Clumsy and it is written and performed by one of my favorites, Chris Rice . You can find the song on the CD Deep Enough to Dream. How interesting that the third song in the shuffle series is my anthem for my Christian journey. ESPN’s Chris Berman signature line for a football blooper is “rumbling, stumbling, fumbling”. That would have been how I described my Christian walk until I found this song. Here are the lyrics from Chris Rice that I could have written if I had any musical talent or ability to write lyrics. Those are the only two obstacles that kept me from writing this song. 

You think I’d have it down by now
Been practicin’ for thirty years
I should have walked a thousand miles
So what am I still doin’ here
Reachin’ out for that same old piece of forbidden fruit
I slip and fall and I knock my halo loose
Somebody tell me what’s a boy supposed to do?

I have been practicin’ for 37 years. So I should be a couple of hundred miles farther than Chris Rice. And I have the exact same frustrations. What am I still doing here? Why do I keep reachin’ out for that same old piece of forbidden fruit? The lyrics continue…

I get so clumsy
I get so foolish
I get so stupid
And then I feel so useless

To quote Bill Murray in Stripes…”and then depression set in”. This is not a new issue. Paul wrestled with the same problem as he addressed the church in Rome.

• It seems to be a fact of life that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong. I love God’s law with all my heart. But there is another law at work within me that is at war with my mind. This law wins the fight and makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me. Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin? Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord. So you see how it is: In my mind I really want to obey God’s law, but because of my sinful nature I am a slave to sin.  Romans 7  NLT

But there is good news to be mined in our stumbling, bumbling, clumsy journey. Somehow God’s amazing grace patiently moves in our lives through all of this clumsiness.

But You’re sayin’ You love me
And You’re still gonna hold me
And that You wanna be near me
‘Cause You’re makin’ me holy
You’re still makin’ me holy, yeah

As I look back over three decades I see frustrating missteps. But I also see subtle and real growth in many areas of my life. I am better than I used to be and not nearly as holy as I desire to be. Chris Rice unveils the key to stumbling your way into His presence someday.

From where I stand
Your holiness is up so high I can never reach it
My only hope is to fall on Jesus

That is so simple and yet so difficult for us to live. Paul had some real encouragement immediately following the bleak picture he painted above.

• So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. For the power[a] of the life-giving Spirit has freed you through Christ Jesus from the power of sin that leads to death. The law of Moses could not save us, because of our sinful nature. But God put into effect a different plan to save us. He sent his own Son in a human body like ours, except that ours are sinful. God destroyed sin’s control over us by giving his Son as a sacrifice for our sins. He did this so that the requirement of the law would be fully accomplished for us who no longer follow our sinful nature but instead follow the Spirit.

No matter how clumsy or foolish or stupid I might be in my attempts to follow Jesus there is exceedingly good news. If I fall on Jesus and follow the Spirit there is no condemnation. And I no longer feel so useless.

I am taking a dual risk this month by attempting an iPod devotional series. If the Apple attorneys take note this will quickly become the MP3 Playback Device Devotional series. So I hope the lawyers stay busy with bigger fish.  At any rate…here is how it will work. On the old iPod is a “shuffle songs” feature. You hit the button and it randomly picks a song. This month I am going to write a blog about whatever song the device selects on that day from the 1,000 plus songs on my iPod. My music list will further confirm my status as a Christian who makes others feel superior. My music goes from Al Green to the Youngbloods. Beatles to U2. Old hymns to modern praise music. Toby Keith to Frank Sinatra. Oldies to the soundtrack from Monty Python’s Spamalot. This could be interesting.

Today the shuffle landed on one of my favorite Christian artists. One year ago  Andrew Peterson was not even on my playlist radar. Youngest son Brett suggested I should check out Peterson after he had performed at a chapel service at Baylor University. Andrew Peterson quickly moved to my top-rated playlist. The iPod shuffle today landed on a haunting and beautiful song called “After the Last Tear Falls”. Andrew Peterson has filled part of the void that I felt when Rich Mullins was tragically killed almost ten years ago. His ability to use the power of music to portray truth is reminiscent of Mullins. Here are some lyrics from today’s song.

After the last tear falls
After the last secrets told
After the last bullet tears through flesh and bone
After the last child starves
And the last girl walks the boulevard
After the last year that’s just too hard

There is love
Love, love, love
There is love
Love, love, love
There is love

Andrew Peterson gives me a powerful reminder that in this fallen world, full of sin and pain, there is a love that can save me. He recognizes that trouble will not escape followers of Jesus. In the midst of our cancer journey Joni and I have felt His love. That love and grace should be my focus as I navigate this crazy and confusing world.

After the last disgrace
After the last lie to save some face
After the last brutal jab from a poison tongue
After the last dirty politician
After the last meal down at the mission
After the last lonely night in prison

There is love
Love, love, love
There is love
Love, love, love
There is love

Satan tells me there can be no love from a God that allows such pain. The truth is that I am God’s hands and feet to reach out to a wounded world. If everyone who has claimed the name of Christ got serious about doing something tangible we would make a real difference. Would such a concerted effort eliminate all pain and suffering? Of course not. But the body of Christ could make an incredible difference by practicing sacrificial living, giving, and service. There is love. We need to reflect that love. The body of Christ needs to focus on what unites us instead of what divides us.

And in the end, the end is
Oceans and oceans
Of love and love again
We’ll see how the tears that have fallen
Were caught in the palms
Of the Giver of love and the Lover of all
And we’ll look back on these tears as old tales

Andrew Peterson’s message is powerful. Someday we will see how God worked in the ugly fallenness of this planet to accomplish His purpose. I once heard a pastor say that he expected to spend the early part of eternity walking around heaven making comments like these.

“Oh, I get it now.’
“Now I see how God was working.”
“I understand why that happened now.”

In the end, there is love. Sometimes I fear my actions don’t reflect that I really believe that with complete certainty. That is why I am grateful for the trials. The good times are fun. But only the hard times slowly mold me a very tiny bit more in His image. In those really hard times I truly realize that there is love.

I am taking a dual risk this month by attempting an iPod devotional series. If the Apple attorneys take note this will quickly become the MP3 Playback Device Devotional series. So I hope the lawyers stay busy with bigger fish.  At any rate…here is how it will work. On the old iPod is a “shuffle songs” feature. You hit the button and it randomly picks a song. This month I am going to write a blog about whatever song the device selects on that day from the 1,000 plus songs on my iPod. My music list will further confirm my status as a Christian who makes others feel superior. My music goes from Al Green to the Youngbloods. Beatles to U2. Old hymns to modern praise music. Toby Keith to Frank Sinatra. Oldies to the soundtrack from Monty Python’s Spamalot. This could be interesting.

So here we go…pushing the button. The first song randomly selected shows that God does indeed have a sense of humor. The song that came up is called Smiling Faces Sometimes and it is from a group called Undisputed Truth. The song was originally recorded by the Temptations but the version released by Undisputed Truth in 1971 became the number 3 song that year. What delicious irony that the guy who wrote When Bad Christians Happen to Good People gets a song about hypocrites for the debut of this little experiment.

Here are the opening lyrics from that song…

Smiling faces sometimes pretend to be your friend
Smiling faces show no traces of the evil that lurks within
Smiling faces, smiling faces sometimes
They don’t tell the truth uh
Smiling faces, smiling faces
Tell lies and I got proof

I get hundreds of letters (okay…emails) from wounded Christians who could have started their note with those lyrics. They have been hurt and betrayed by other churchgoers, often with smiling faces. I try to encourage them. I remind them that we are all human. I ask them to look to Jesus. I try to communicate that I have felt and do feel the pain that they are experiencing. But everytime I hit send I am saddened that we allow this to happen in the body of Christ. Sometimes I am downright (ticked) off that any of us allow our agenda and self-absorption to overpower the awe inspiring gift of grace that brought us together in the first place. Not many things seemed to tick off Jesus more than hypocrites. Listen to these comments directed to the religious leaders.

“How terrible it will be for you teachers of religious law and you Pharisees. Hypocrites! You are so careful to clean the outside of the cup and the dish, but inside you are filthy–full of greed and self-indulgence! Blind Pharisees! First wash the inside of the cup, and then the outside will become clean, too.

 “How terrible it will be for you teachers of religious law and you Pharisees. Hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs–beautiful on the outside but filled on the inside with dead people’s bones and all sorts of impurity. You try to look like upright people outwardly, but inside your hearts are filled with hypocrisy and lawlessness.

 “Snakes! Sons of vipers! How will you escape the judgment of hell?

Does that sound like the happy, happy Jesus that we like to portray? In a handful of verses He called the self-righteous leaders hypocrites, lawless, filthy inside, and sons of vipers. Ouch. Jesus was righteously furious. And He was furious over phony faith. Compare His tender response to repentant sinners. It is clear that Jesus wants honest hearts and maybe, just maybe, that is why He preferred to hang out with the not so self-righteous.

Tax collectors and other notorious sinners often came to listen to Jesus teach. This made the Pharisees and teachers of religious law complain that he was associating with such despicable people–even eating with them!  Luke 15  NLT

Oh no!!! Eating with sinners! And yet I still see that ugly scenario playing out today. We find safety in surrounding ourselves with others just like us. The lifestyles of the lost and not so famous are uncomfortable to us. So we take the safe route. I think Jesus loved being with the “sinners” because they realized their condition. They offered no excuses. They were eager to hear how this remarkable teacher would address that condition.

Just like the pharisees I can clean up the outside real purty. But God knows what lies beneath. It is scary and painful and ugly to allow the Holy Spirit to start cleaning out the dirt, the dead bones, and everything unclean. But we will never experience God the way He desires to relate to us unless we are willing to do just that. Frankly I don’t see the point of being a Sunday Christian. If this is real we need to pursue it seven days a week. The hardest truth I have had to admit as a husband, father, follower of Jesus is that I make time for those things that are a priority to me. There can be short time diversions for work or circumstance. But over the weeks and months how I spend my time and how I live my life reveals my heart. That is a hard truth.

Our iPod selection goes on…

Your enemy won’t do you no harm
Cause you’ll know where he’s coming from
Don’t let the handshake and the smile fool ya
Take my advice I’m only try’ to school ya

Isn’t that what hurts us so much when someone in the church does the wounding? We don’t expect it. We are not prepared at all to get sucker punched by a family member. But it happens in the church. Smiling faces do sometimes tell lies. Smiling churchgoers sometimes do great damage. But there is another possibility.

Smiling faces that love others like Jesus can still change this world. And, in my heart, that is undisputed truth.

Two movie quotes are bouncing around in my oddly constructed brain. The first one is from Tom Hank’s excellent film A League of Their Own. Hanks plays manager Jimmy Dugan in a movie about a womens’ baseball league during World War II. Dugan sarcastically berates one of his players after a mistake and she bursts into tears, prompting this response.

Are you crying? Are you crying? Are you crying? There’s no crying, there’s no crying in baseball. Rogers Hornsby was my manager, and he called me a talking pile of pig (droppings). And that was when my parents drove all the way down from Michigan to see me play the game. And did I cry? No. No. And do you know why?
Evelyn Gardner: No, no, no.
Jimmy Dugan: Because there’s no crying in baseball.

That was the message I received loud and clear as a youngster growing up in scenic Chillicothe, Ohio in the 50’s and 60’s. My heroes did not cry. And therefore I determined I would never admit to crying. Catch that? I would never admit to crying. I learned early that to be that strong you couldn’t really be honest. And that brings me to the source of my  youthful dilemma. Old Yeller. I totally violated my no crying resolve during that movie. I realized I was not alone when I watched the movie Stripes and this inspirational speech by Bill Murray’s character.

Who cried when Old Yeller got shot at the end? Nobody cried when Old Yeller got shot? I’m sure.
I cried my eyes out.

So did I. And I cried when Brian Piccolo died in Brian’s Song. I cried when father and son had a catch in Field of Dreams.

Despite my childhood resolve I discovered there is crying in baseball, football, and especially in life. There has been crying during Joni’s cancer journey. I have realized that there is no shame in that admission. Women who read these humble ramblings are probably wondering what kind of an idiot would think that there is shame in crying? The answer is the species called men (Americus Johnius Waynicus). But I no longer follow the example of the Duke on that issue. So it was no surprise that the Kleenex came out when I viewed a video by country group Rascal Flatts today. The song is called Skin and the lyrics tell the story of a high school girl named Sara Beth. She learns that she has leukemia and Sara Beth fears that no one will want to take a girl with no hair to the prom. The lyrics are powerful and the video is even more so.

Check out the video (and have a Kleenex handy).

Obviously this video touches me in our season of life. I have written about what God is teaching me about what real beauty looks like. I have also seen the strength and courage of these incredible women who are battling breast cancer. They are constant inspiration and encouragement to me.

This is the ending of the song Skin.

They go dancing
Around and around without any cares
And her very first true love is holding her close
And for a moment she isn’t scared

Joni and I have cried. We have been scared. Then I meditate on the words in I John…

There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love. We love, because He first loved us.

We have learned that if we close our eyes and allow the God who first loved us to hold us close…for a moment we are not scared.