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If you read When Bad Christians Happen to Good People you know that I am not a fan of “Jesus Junk”. That is a term for the often tacky, sometimes offensive, and generally puzzling ways that we try to merge Christianity and our culture. The products range from the Jesus bobble head dolls to Christian breath mints. I had never considered bad breath to be a spiritual issue but I am still learning in my journey.

 

People now send me links to this stuff just to annoy me. Today I found out about  the new Talking Jesus action figure and it arrived just in time for gift giving on His upcoming birthday.  Herobuilders.com of Connecticut, USA, have announced the addition of a new hero to their ranks of action dolls – “the ONLY real hero,” in fact. Standing fully 12″ tall, the Jesus Christ Action Figure comes with an optional microchip.  When Jesus speaks he sounds like the late John Facinda of NFL Films narrating the 10 Commandments. You almost expect  Jesus to follow “Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s house” with some stirring music and “across the frozen tundra the mighty warriors rumbled.”  

                                                                                         

For only $34.95 you can have your very own Talking Jesus Action Figure. If you want to have your own “Come to Jesus Summit” with world leaders you can order the George Bush, Jacques Chirac, and Tony Blair action figures as well.

Another kind reader sent me news of the glow in the dark Passion of the Christ T-shirt. In the interest of fairness I will give the website description for you.                                                                                  .

 

You will never have a better opportunity to share your faith than a time like now. Let your light shine into the darkness with our ‘Passion of Christ’ glo t-shirt.

 

The instructions tell you that just by placing your t-shirt by a light source for 2 hours will allow your light to shine all night!

I am trying to understand how this works evangelistically. You charge up your t-shirt and go in search of sinners and dark places. So far so good.

 

Then you stride in boldly and all aglow and then you…uhh….

 

It breaks down for me there.

 

The list of Jesus Junk is astounding and embarrassing. Now the new trend is selling Jesus images on Ebay. Here is an actually item and description from a recent Ebay auction. I have inserted my own observations in italics.

 

On Sunday January 14th, 2001, my life changed forever.  I had been a heavy drinker for many years and on that day, I discovered what appeared to be the image of Jesus Christ on my grilled ham and cheese. (Just like Jesus to rock the Pharisees by appearing on a non-Kosher sandwich). After that day, I quit drinking (that would have done it for me too) and began to make much needed changes in my life.  I have kept this sandwich a secret from everyone, but it has served as a daily reminder of this magnificent miracle.  Now however, I feel that this sandwich should be shared with the hope that its image will inspire others to make changes in their lives.  I hope that the new owner will proudly display it for all to see. This sandwich is permanently sealed in a 1/2″ thick Lexan Plexiglas display case and is not intended for consumption (really good advice).  Item is not edible.  Item is intended to be displayed and visually experienced by self and others much as art would be appreciated.                 

                                                                          

And while the seller was gracious in wanting to “share” his sandwich with the world…there was a $350 minimum bid. There is a price on inspiring the world to change.

 

While this whole thing is embarrassing to me as a Christian there is also a strange comfort in all of this. Perhaps our strongest apologetic argument is that Christianity is flourishing around the world despite Christians. Clearly there is something far more powerful than our often sorry attempts to represent Jesus to the world. I wrote a chapter called “Godly or Gaudy?” in When Bad Christians Happen to Good People. Here is an excerpt from that chapter. 

 

Last night I had a dream.  I went shopping with Jesus.  We were browsing through a Christian book superstore.  He stopped at the What Would Jesus Do? bracelet display.  I found out what He would do.  He moved on.  Jesus picked up the Testamints breath mints and examined them.  Next He saw the Jesus and His dog statue portraying a young Jesus with a German shepherd.  Did I see Him chuckle?  The Jesus Saves air freshener for cars caught His attention.  He looked around at the rows of products and aisles of books, row after row of books about Jesus and how to know Him and be like Him and so on and so on.  “Why do you make faith so complicated?”  He asked quietly.  “I didn’t say figure Me out.  I said follow Me.”  That woke me up.

 

One of my favorite quotes is from conservative author P.J. O’Rourke who noted that  “Making fun of born-again Christians is like hunting dairy cows with a high powered rifle and scope.” Sadly  it is often that easy. And I am often horrified at how we (Christians) give fodder to the critics.

But it gives me great pleasure to report that the director of the surprise hit movie March of the Penguins has actually given me some material to have fun with while defending my Christian colleagues.  March of the Penguins is the amazing story of the mating habits of Emporer Penguins in Antarctica. It is a heart warming and inspiring treat. But some viewers and reviewers have had the audacity to see the hand of God in the extraordinary rituals of the penguins.

Writing in the Christian publication World magazine Andrew Coffin, noted that the complexity of the penguins’ lives was clear evidence of intelligent design, demonstrating it could not have come about through random selection.  

I am not sure that I would make quite so bold a deduction. But if that’s his opinion it’s okay…right? Apparently not.

March of the Penguins director Luc Jacquet is unhappy that Christians have “hijacked” his movie. (Did some zealous group grab the film and demand to go to a different theater?) But I digress. Mr. Jacquet is annoyed that some Christian commentators have used his movie as an example of Intelligent Design. This offends Mr. Jacquet.

 “It does annoy me to a certain degree,” he said. “For me there is no doubt about evolution. I am a scientist. The intelligent design theory is a step back to the thinking of 300 years ago. My film is not supposed to be interpreted in this way. Some scientists I know find the film interesting because it can be a good argument against intelligent design. People should not jump on these bandwagons.”

Immediately my three hundred year old thinking processes creaked into action. What would WilIiam Penn do? And I realized what I needed. I would be most grateful if Mr.Jacquet could give me a list of which bandwagons I should jump on. Without his help I might have jumped on this one. Whew!

But the Christian right wing wasn’t done offending our beleagured director. Radio host and film critic Michael Medved (who is Jewish but that’s not relevant to the greater good of bashing Christians), noted the story of the emperor penguins’ journey “most passionately affirms traditional norms like monogamy, sacrifice and child rearing.”  Who could disagree with a sweet affirmation of values like that?

Well, Mr.Jacquet could. Now he had to throw the penguins under the bus with the Christians.

“If you want an example of monogamy, penguins are not a good choice,” Jacquet told The Times. “The divorce rate in emperor penguins is 80 to 90 per cent each year. … After they see the chick is OK, most of them divorce. They change every year.”

This shook me to my core. I had based the foundation of my marriage on the example of the penguins. Now what could I look toward? Properly chastised I began to compose a letter to Mr. Jacquet to win back his favor.

Dear Luc,

Please forgive this knuckle-dragging, pea-brained Christian. You see I thought I had the right to “interpret” a work of art anyway that I wanted. For some reason I once thought that when I plopped down eight bucks I could think what I wanted. I guess I was wrong. Can you help me next time to interpret your film the correct way? I would be most grateful since it is obviously dangerous to you and others if I think for myself. By the way, I know some scientists who find the film interesting because it can be a good argument for intelligent design. But now I realize that they don’t count. You are right Mr. Jacquet. Forgive me.

Regards,

A Bad Christian

Sadly, these stories are becoming common place. Why is the intelligent design movement so infuriating to those who believe in evolution? If it is such bad science then it should be quite easy to debunk. As Billy Shakespeare once said, “The lady/gentleman doth protest too much, methinks.” Can we simply allow the process to go forward? Can those who believe in the hand of a Creator have the courtesy of not being ridiculed as flat earth Neanderthals? Paul wrote to the church at Corinthians about such debates.

 Do not deceive yourselves. If any one of you thinks he is wise by the standards of this age, he should become a “fool” so that he may become wise. For the wisdom of this world is foolishness in God’s sight. As it is written: “He catches the wise in their craftiness”^[ and again, “The Lord knows that the thoughts of the wise are futile.  I Cor 3 NIV

Mr.Jacquet leaves no room for intelligent discussion and that is by design. “For me there is no doubt about evolution. I am a scientist.” So if I suggest I have some doubts about evolution I have announced that I am a moron. I’m okay with that. And on that I suspect Luc and I can reach agreement.

 

 

 

 

Today’s topic is courtesy of a post (and question) from Lonnie. 

“I have a question for you Mr. Burchett: What do you make of all the folks who get their soap boxes out every time there is a natural disaster, to shake their fingers and thump their Bibles at saint and sinner alike?”

Good question.

Is God judging New Orleans for it’s rather obvious bent toward debauchery? Should we cancel all travel plans to San Francisco and Las Vegas just in case they are next? Some Christians seem to think so. A group called Repent America appears fairly confident that God spoke when Katrina ravaged New Orleans.

“Although the loss of lives is deeply saddening, this act of God destroyed a wicked city,” stated Repent America director Michael Marcavage in a statement. “From ‘Girls Gone Wild’ to ‘Southern Decadence,’ New Orleans was a city that opened its doors wide open to the public celebration of sin. May it never be the same.”

Rev. Bill Shanks, pastor of a New Orleans church, has warned people that unless Christians in New Orleans took a strong stand against such things as local abortion clinics, the yearly Mardi Gras celebrations, and the annual event known as “Southern Decadence” — an annual six-day “gay pride” event scheduled to be hosted by the city — God’s judgement would be felt.

“New Orleans now is abortion free. New Orleans now is Mardi Gras free. New Orleans now is free of Southern Decadence and the sodomites, the witchcraft workers, false religion — it’s free of all of those things now,” Shanks says. “God simply, I believe, in His mercy purged all of that stuff out of there — and now we’re going to start over again.”

The New Orleans pastor is adamant. Christians, he says, need to confront sin. “It’s time for us to stand up against wickedness so that God won’t have to deal with that wickedness,” he says.

But Lonnie asked me the question. So here is my take.

I don’t know.

When Jesus was asked about some tragedies that had occurred He did not establish blame…

 ¹About that time some people came up and told him about the Galileans Pilate had killed while they were at worship, mixing their blood with the blood of the sacrifices on the altar. ²Jesus responded, “Do you think those murdered Galileans were worse sinners than all other Galileans? ³Not at all. Unless you turn to God, you too will die. ⁴And those eighteen in Jerusalem the other day, the ones crushed and killed when the Tower of Siloam collapsed and fell on them, do you think they were worse citizens than all other Jerusalemites? ⁵Not at all. Unless you turn to God, you too will die.”   Luke 13:1–5  The Message

If Jesus had a chance to establish blame and did not do it then I am going to be extremely careful about deciding whether God judged New Orleans or South Texas or Florida.

I would agree totally with Rev. Shanks that Christians need to confront sin. But I would suggest that we need to gently confront sin from other Christians as well. We should never be surprised when sinners sin! Jesus wasn’t. He reserved His condemnation for the religious. Would God be more inclined to take out New Orleans because of it’s hedonism or would He be more likely to judge my city of Dallas for it’s materialism and greed? How can I know? Perhaps a Holy God is more upset in how we have squandered great wealth than in how some behave in New Orleans. Is neglecting the widows and the poor less egregious to God than Mardi Gras? I am not smart enough to know. But Scripture seems pretty clear we should be taking care of those in need both physically and spiritually.

There was another time when Jesus could have let us know how judgement is dispensed here on earth.

¹Walking down the street, Jesus saw a man blind from birth. ²His disciples asked, “Rabbi, who sinned: this man or his parents, causing him to be born blind?”  ³Jesus said, “You’re asking the wrong question. You’re looking for someone to blame. There is no such cause-effect here. Look instead for what God can do.   John 9:1–3  The Message

I would suggest it is time we stop looking for someone to blame. I am not going to try to figure out if God is judging New Orleans or Florida. According to Scripture God sends rain on the red states and the blue states. Okay…that is a bit of a paraphrase from Matthew 5 but you get the point. Instead we should look for what God can do. What God can do is use the tragedy of natural disasters to show His love through His people. We are His hands and feet on this planet. That is what we should be doing. God can decide who deserves to be judged without my help or yours.

 

 

I had heard the rumblings. The so called “Queen of the Occult”, Anne Rice, had embraced Christianity. Newsweek is reporting (breathlessly) that  “It’s the most startling public turnaround since Bob Dylan’s “Slow Train Coming” announced that he’d been born again. “

I am old enough to remember well Dylan’s announcement in November of 1980 that he had “a truly born again experience.”  I remember the excitement that Bob Dylan was going to use his considerable influence to lead thousands to faith in Jesus. So many of us were so excited that our faith was endorsed and confirmed by a super star. Dylan loves Jesus! I felt just a little bit more cool to be a Christian because the great Dylan had joined my team. The rock and roll world was appalled. Journalist Steve Turner remembers that  “most of them (the critics) hoped the phase would be brief, for while Christianity might have saved Dylan’s soul, they believed it had damned his art. “

And then Bob Dylan disappointed me. Oh he did record a few powerful songs about his faith. But he did not become what I wanted him to be. He did not become a vocal juggernaut for Christ. In fact, as time went by he rarely talked about his faith. He quit writing deep songs with  lyrics proclaiming Jesus. He went underground and became evasive when asked about his conversion. And I threw him away. Because I didn’t care about Dylan as a fellow Christian and heir to the Kingdom. I cared about him as a marketing tool. And he messed up my plan.

So when I heard about the soon to be very public redemption of Anne Rice I was both joyous and sad. I know millions of people will place unrealistic expectations on her. Christian magazines and programs and events will be scrambling to hear her testimony. Part of that is good. Her story of finding Jesus in the midst of illness and grief is inspiring. But every person who recognises Jesus as Lord is an inspiring story of regeneration and grace. She is merely a fellow traveller on this journey to become more like Christ.

Pray for her.

Pray that she will grow in the grace and knowledge of the Lord Jesus Christ. Yes, celebrate her great news. But remember she is just like you and me. A person who will make mistakes and who will say and do things that offend the easily offended evangelical crowd. Imagine having your life made very public within weeks or months after you found faith. I think of my life. You would have discarded me as a phony just as I wrongly discarded Dylan.

Anne Rice is not a celebrity that we can use for our marketing. She is a sinner saved by grace. Nothing more. Nothing less. Perhaps God will use her considerable writing skills for His glory. She will work that out between her and her God. As for the rest of us the task is simple.

Pray for Anne Rice.

 

 

 

Welcome to my new blog!

I am guessing that most of you have found this blog because of my books “When Bad Christians Happen to Good People” and “Bring’em Back Alive”. I will be posting often about issues that affect the body of Christ. The topics will range from politics to embarrassing Christians. We will discuss faith in our culture and what it means to be an authentic follower of Christ. It will be honest, edgy, and it should be fun.

I look forward to the dialogue.

Blessings,

Dave