Occasionally  I take another step in my inevitable march toward geezerhood. You know that stage of life where you get grumpy and tell people how it used to be back in the good old days. One of the things that advances me more quickly to that stage is the attempt to make life risk free. A group called the Michigan Law Suit Abuse Watch has an annual contest to find the stupidest product warning labels. The Wacky Warning Label Contest is in it’s eighth year and they have uncovered some beauties. They have an agenda of course. They want to point out how ridiculous and numerous lawsuits have forced product manufacturers to post warnings that are really just common sense. They don’t feel a manufacturer should have to be legally responsible for people lacking common sense. I agree. But that hasn’t stopped the avalanche of unbelievable warning labels. Here are some winners from other years and then we reveal the current year’s crop. Remember, these warnings
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There was a little controversy recently in the Dallas area. I live in a suburb of Big D so the story was a daily news item. Some of the seniors at an affluent high school in Dallas had a  couple of rather unfortunate traditions.  On senior Thug Day, students wore Afro wigs, fake gold teeth and baggy jeans. On Fiesta Day, which was to honor Hispanic heritage, one student brought a leaf blower to school.  A few students at the school dressed as gang members, rap stars, maids and yard workers  which offended many in our community. It was easy to throw these students of privilege under the stretch Hummer limo and many did. Words like insensitive and racist were thrown around. But I think Dallas Morning News columnist Jacquielynn Floyd got it exactly right. “It was less about racism than it was about rudeness.It was deliberately ill-bred behavior, the empty-headed mockery of people who got dealt a lower hand in life’s arbitrary card game.” Haven’t we
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I hope you read my blog about going to Homecoming last weekend at Baylor University. It was a wonderful weekend spent with family and friends. But I want these ramblings to be authentic and real. I have an embarrassing admission to make. I drove and parked carefully in Waco last weekend because I feared I was a wanted man. Let me explain. October 22nd dawned sunny and pleasant in scenic Garland, Texas. I blissfully strode to the mailbox to retrieve my daily dose of catalogues, junk mail, and bills. I sorted through the stack. “No annual fee for 12 months” – Correct. I am tearing it up. “A Special Invitation from Miracle Ear” – I don’t like what I can hear. No thanks. “A Charming Way to Show off Your Cleveland Browns Pride” – After last Sunday??? How about therapy? “A Special 14 Hour Sale Just For You” – I can’t be there. You can go ahead and cancel it.
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Halloween is one of my least favorite times of the year. Don’t worry.  I am not going to launch into a tirade about how Christians need to protest this pagan holiday. I hate Halloween because it is one of the times each year when I want to take my evangelical name tag off and hide it for a few days. One of the reasons I want to go incognito is the proliferation of Christian Halloween Hell Houses. Yes, in another sad attempt to mirror the popular culture we have taken the bad idea of the haunted house and made it into the infinitely worse idea of the Hell House. What is the Hell House concept? It is series of vignettes that show the results of sin in wretched excess.The idea is literally to frighten you so much that you will be saved. I call it  Fear Christianity. I had to admit I enjoyed the play on former NBA star Daryl Dawkin’s slam dunk taunt rewritten
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It is Homecoming this weekend at Baylor University in Waco, Texas. Thousands of alumni will make their way to Central Texas for the event. Thanks to the great work of Coach Guy Morriss some will even go to the football game with anticipation. It seems odd to me that I am looking forward so much to this homecoming. The celebration is at a college that I did not attend. I’m not even Baptist, dadgummit! (that is Baptist cursing!). But my heart has become a part of the Baylor tradition. Why? I am the very proud father of two Baylor grads and the youngest is a sophomore at the school. I have invested time and more treasure than I care to think about in Baylor University. It is a very special place for me. Each son has made relationships that have become my relationships. One found a wife there. All three have grown in wisdom and stature while attending the school. They have developed wonderful
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If you read When Bad Christians Happen to Good People you know that I am not a fan of “Jesus Junk”. That is a term for the often tacky, sometimes offensive, and generally puzzling ways that we try to merge Christianity and our culture. The products range from the Jesus bobble head dolls to Christian breath mints. I had never considered bad breath to be a spiritual issue but I am still learning in my journey.   People now send me links to this stuff just to annoy me. Today I found out about  the new Talking Jesus action figure and it arrived just in time for gift giving on His upcoming birthday.  Herobuilders.com of Connecticut, USA, have announced the addition of a new hero to their ranks of action dolls – “the ONLY real hero,” in fact. Standing fully 12″ tall, the Jesus Christ Action Figure comes with an optional microchip.  When Jesus speaks he sounds like the late John Facinda of NFL Films narrating the 10 Commandments.
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One of my favorite quotes is from conservative author P.J. O’Rourke who noted that  “Making fun of born-again Christians is like hunting dairy cows with a high powered rifle and scope.” Sadly  it is often that easy. And I am often horrified at how we (Christians) give fodder to the critics. But it gives me great pleasure to report that the director of the surprise hit movie March of the Penguins has actually given me some material to have fun with while defending my Christian colleagues.  March of the Penguins is the amazing story of the mating habits of Emporer Penguins in Antarctica. It is a heart warming and inspiring treat. But some viewers and reviewers have had the audacity to see the hand of God in the extraordinary rituals of the penguins. Writing in the Christian publication World magazine Andrew Coffin, noted that the complexity of the penguins’ lives was clear evidence of intelligent design, demonstrating it could not have come about through random selection.   I am not sure
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