Category: Uncategorized

First I must apologize to the three or four readers who eagerly show up each weekday to read these ramblings. I was stuck on the road with a defective power pack and no other computer access. So I have to admit that I “blogged” down for a couple of days. Sorry. I am now powered up and ready to ramble.

Last night I was returning from a corporate meeting being held at a casino in Uncasville, Connecticut. Your reaction was likely the same as mine. Unca – where? Turns out it is about an hour from Hartford. But that is a future blog.

My panic happened during a routine and boring flight from Hartford to home in Dallas. I was bored with the movie and tired of reading. As I absently mindedly fiddled with my wedding band it somehow flipped up and disappeared around my seat. I immediately thought of my bride and how I would explain this one. I can always play the idiot card and that is hard to trump with me. But I knew this carried a little emotional impact beyond losing some jewelry.

I pictured that little band of gold laying somewhere on the peanut littered floor. What were the ramifications of losing it? It can be replaced I reasoned. She will understand. It is just a ring. My logic was solid and then I realized that I didn’t buy it either.

I had upgraded to first class and my seat was in the back row of the cabin so finding the ring would not be so easy. Because the passenger next to me was watching the movie I decided to wait until the movie was over to disturb him to look for the ring.  That gave me time to panic and to think.

The ring was not expensive. It was not even my first wedding band (my first one came with a gumball so I had upgraded once). But that missing ring had meaning beyond it’s pawn shop value. I had mentioned this ring in my book When Bad Christians Happen to Good People. The ring had become my symbol for what it is important in my life. There are four very small diamonds that represent the four children that have blessed our lives. Three wonderful sons are a constant source of pride and love. The fourth diamond represents our daughter Katie who died after fourteen unexpected months with us. Unexpected because Katie was only supposed to live hours or maybe days. The entertwined gold strands symbolized how my bride and I had somehow merged two very different lives into one indivisible marriage. When things get tough I have trained myself to look at that ring and it reminds me about what matters.

I thought of the nearly thirty year journey that Joni and I have traveled. I am fortunate in one thing. I married my trophy wife first and saved the hassle. But when our wedding pictures are dragged out I have to laugh. There I am with bad 70’s hair and my baby blue Dumb and Dumber tuxedo. And there is Joni looking gorgeous with her beautiful blue eyes and infectious smile. The reaction is the same for nearly every person who views those photos. A thought bubble rises over their heads with the question…”What was she thinking?”.  I have no idea. I am sure she has asked the same thing. But she has hung in with me and trusted God. She has never tried to change who I am but she has always challenged me to develop my unique design in partnership with the God who loves me. She has prayed for me and our boys more than I can even comprehend. When our marriage monitor flat lined a few years ago she did not give up. That ring symbolized the trials and the triumphs. I breathed a prayer that I would find the ring.

The flight attendant loaned me a flashlight and I crawled as best I could under the seats looking for my ring. With my derriere sticking unceremoniously into the aisle I looked in every nook and cranny. Nothing. Finally I flashed the light back into the seat bracket corner and there it was. I was relieved to find the ring and, frankly, to get my posterior out of the aisle. Slipping the ring back on I realized the value of symbols. Losing that ring would not have changed my love for my wife or our relationship. But that symbol is a reminder of love and the mystery of two lives becoming one.

      And this is why a man leaves father and mother and cherishes his wife. No longer two, they become “one flesh.” This is a huge mystery, and I don’t pretend to understand it all. What is clearest to me is the way Christ treats the church. And this provides a good picture of how each husband is to treat his wife….   The Message Ephesians 5

It is a mystery. I am grateful for the journey. I am grateful for the potholes and the detours and the times of smooth traveling. I am grateful I chose not to exit or turn around when the journey got tough.

There is another symbol that I cherish. It is called the cross. And I would suggest that what happened there is the reason that Joni and I are still together in this mysterious and wonderful journey.

This week I have felt lousy.  I picked up one of the early bugs to start off the flu and cold season. Before we even got to the regular flu/cold season I was downed by a lousy preseason bug.  Do those even count in the standings? So I did the anti-male thing and went to the doctor.

“You are the twentieth person I have treated for this since yesterday,” she reported.

“Do I get a group rate?” I asked hopefully.

“No!” She said without even carefully considering the merits of my request.

So after investing a couple of hundred dollars in the medical profession and drug manufacturers I am sitting at home waiting for this to run it’s natural course. I thought of how really crappy I have felt this week. And then I realized how much I take for granted the fifty weeks or so out of every year when I feel good or even great. Sure I have the usual little aches and pains that a 50 plus body will accumulate. But for five decades I have been blessed with the ability to run slowly, jump barely, dance awkwardly, and laugh often. I am so blessed.

I thought about people who feel far worse than I have felt this week every single day of their lives. Yet they get up and go cheerfully about their business every day. I thought of those who deal heroically with chronic pain and soldier on without complaint. I thought about those who begin to feel badly and never get better. I expect that I will recover soon. Some never will.

I admire the people who find joy in their lives even when they don’t feel like it. King Solomon said the following in the Book of Proverbs.

       A cheerful look brings joy to the heart,
       and good news gives health to the bones.  NIV Prov 15

The Message has an interesting take on this proverb.

       A twinkle in the eye means joy in the heart, and good news makes you feel fit as a fiddle.

Think about the people who choose joy when circumstances don’t warrant that action. Don’t you find that the kind of personality that responds like that often features a twinkle in the eye? They are the kind of people that you visit to minister to and then end up receiving more than you gave.

Paul said in his letter to the church at Phillipi that he had learned to be content in his circumstance. It didn’t come naturally for him either.

     I’ve learned by now to be quite content whatever my circumstances. I’m just as happy with little as with much, with much as with little. I’ve found the recipe for being happy whether full or hungry, hands full or hands empty. Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am.   Philippians 4  The Message

I am grateful for the illness because I appreciate health. I am grateful for the clouds because the sunshine then feels so wonderful. I am grateful for a God that never changes through good times or bad.   

Occasionally  I take another step in my inevitable march toward geezerhood. You know that stage of life where you get grumpy and tell people how it used to be back in the good old days. One of the things that advances me more quickly to that stage is the attempt to make life risk free.

A group called the Michigan Law Suit Abuse Watch has an annual contest to find the stupidest product warning labels. The Wacky Warning Label Contest is in it’s eighth year and they have uncovered some beauties. They have an agenda of course. They want to point out how ridiculous and numerous lawsuits have forced product manufacturers to post warnings that are really just common sense. They don’t feel a manufacturer should have to be legally responsible for people lacking common sense.

I agree.

But that hasn’t stopped the avalanche of unbelievable warning labels. Here are some winners from other years and then we reveal the current year’s crop. Remember, these warnings actually appeared on a product. The italicised comments are mine. 

• A label on a baby stroller warns: Remove child before folding.      This had to be a guy…now a single guy.
• A household iron warns users: “Never iron clothes while they are being worn”  Major League pitcher John Smoltz allegedly burned his chest when he tried to touch up a shirt…while still in it!  Again…a guy.
• A warning on an electric drill made for carpenters cautions: “This product not intended for use as a dental drill.” Let’s just pray this is just an imaginative lawyer. If you know differently please don’t tell me.
• The label on a bottle of drain cleaner warns: “If you do not understand, or cannot read, all directions, cautions and warnings, do not use this product.” If you cannot read then how in the…sigh…never mind.
• A warning on a pair of shin guards manufactured for bicyclists says: “Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover.” The invisible force field feature was just not dependable.
• A can of self-defense pepper spray warns users: “May irritate eyes”      Isn’t that the purpose of the product?
• A popular manufactured fireplace log warns: “Caution – Risk of Fire”    Please see above.

Now if we could have drum-roll (warning: drumsticks are for use with percussion devices and should not be used to remove ear wax)….This year’s winners are…

Third place was the following warning on a digital thermometer that can be used to take a person’s temperature several different ways: “Once used rectally, the thermometer should not be used orally.”

The $250 second place award went to Matt Johnson of Naperville, Illinois for a label on a popular scooter for children that warns: “This product moves when used.”   

And our Wackiest Warning Label for this year was found on a flushable toilet brush that warns users, “Do not use for personal hygiene”.

Ewwww.

So as I go into my grumpy geezer mode I will point out that in my day if I folded the baby in the stroller I was just a moron and not a victim of bad instructions. If I sprayed a product designed specifically to irritate eyes into my eyes I would not be surprised to experience that discomfort. In my day we would have assumed a fireplace log had a risk of fire!

You can not post enough labels to remove the risk of life. I think one of the dangerous and maybe even deceitful things that Christians communicate is that coming to faith in Jesus will make your life trouble free. Perhaps we should have a label with every presentation of the gospel.

       Caution – Jesus reports that “in this world you will have trouble”.  (Read the small print in Mark and John)

Coming to faith does not remove the trouble from our lives. Jesus is not a money back guarantee for perfect health, unlimited prosperity, and non-stop giddiness. Trouble is a part of life. Problems refine or ruin us. That is where Jesus comes in.

         I’ve told you all this so that trusting me, you will be unshakable and assured, deeply at peace. In this godless world you will continue  to experience difficulties. But take heart! I’ve conquered the world.  The Message  John 16

That is what I have discovered in my journey with Jesus. When life delivers the inevitable I can be assured, deeply at peace, and even unshakable. NBA star Alonzo Manning faced a career ending illness but his response was interesting. “Adversity introduces a man to himself.” I would suggest that adversity introduces a person to their faith. Does it stand up to the hard times? Real faith does. Jesus came to give us real life and to help us get through the risks that living life brings. Consider yourself warned.

There was a little controversy recently in the Dallas area. I live in a suburb of Big D so the story was a daily news item. Some of the seniors at an affluent high school in Dallas had a  couple of rather unfortunate traditions.  On senior Thug Day, students wore Afro wigs, fake gold teeth and baggy jeans. On Fiesta Day, which was to honor Hispanic heritage, one student brought a leaf blower to school.  A few students at the school dressed as gang members, rap stars, maids and yard workers  which offended many in our community. It was easy to throw these students of privilege under the stretch Hummer limo and many did. Words like insensitive and racist were thrown around.

But I think Dallas Morning News columnist Jacquielynn Floyd got it exactly right. “It was less about racism than it was about rudeness.It was deliberately ill-bred behavior, the empty-headed mockery of people who got dealt a lower hand in life’s arbitrary card game.” Haven’t we all done that? I have. Have you ever told or circulated a joke about a minority or redneck or ethnic group or a certain Texas university? I have.

My family was from Kentucky. My dad came from the impoverished Appalachian area that PBS used to visit to produce documentaries about dirt poor Americans. But my Dad left Kentucky and I grew up in Southern Ohio. Trust me when I say that Southern Ohio was not a cosmopolitan mecca of sophistication. Yet we somehow felt we could make fun of Kentuckians and West Virginians. Other states made fun of Ohioans. It is human nature to need to feel better than someone else.

Jacquielynn Floyd rightly notes that being born into wealth doesn’t make you “better or worse people than the rest of us – it’s just the luck of the draw.” This view of less privileged people is disappointing in society and even damaging. But in a church that wants to be authentic it is deadly. In the book of James we find these words in the New Testament.

      My dear friends, don’t let public opinion influence how you live out our glorious, Christ-originated faith. If a man enters your church wearing an expensive suit, and a street person wearing rags comes in right after him, and you say to the man in the suit, “Sit here, sir; this is the best seat in the house!” and either ignore the street person or say, “Better sit here in the back row,” haven’t you segregated God’s children and proved that you are judges who can’t be trusted? Listen, dear friends. Isn’t it clear by now that God operates quite differently? He chose the world’s down-and-out as the kingdom’s first citizens, with full rights and privileges. This kingdom is promised to anyone who loves God.          James 2  The Message

I came across this story in Men of Integrity magazine. It was reported by a gentleman named Lew Gervais. I think James would have applauded wildly had he been there.

Bill was wild haired; his wardrobe for college was jeans and a T-shirt with holes in it. He had just recently become a believer while attending a campus Bible study. Across from campus was a well-dressed, very conservative church. One Sunday Bill decided to go there. He walked in late and shoeless. The sanctuary was packed so Bill headed down the aisle looking for a seat. Having nearly reached the pulpit, he realized there were no empty seats, so he squatted down on the carpet. The congregation was feeling uncomfortable. Then from the back of the church, a gray-haired elder outfitted in a three piece suit slowly started walking with help from his cane toward Bill. The worshippers didn’t know what to expect from a man in his eighties as he confronted some college kid on the floor. With all eyes focused on the developing drama, the minister waited to begin his sermon until the elder did what he had to do.

The elderly man dropped his cane on the floor and with great difficulty lowered himself to sit next to Bill.

“What I’m about to preach,” the minister begins, “you’ll never remember. What you’ve just seen, you’ll never forget.”

So I am not going to worry about a small number of immature high schoolers. I have a much bigger problem and I saw his image in the mirror as I shaved today. Every person I encounter is created in the image of God and Jesus deemed them worthy to die for on the cross. God help me to see them that way.

I hope you read my blog about going to Homecoming last weekend at Baylor University. It was a wonderful weekend spent with family and friends. But I want these ramblings to be authentic and real. I have an embarrassing admission to make. I drove and parked carefully in Waco last weekend because I feared I was a wanted man. Let me explain.

October 22nd dawned sunny and pleasant in scenic Garland, Texas. I blissfully strode to the mailbox to retrieve my daily dose of catalogues, junk mail, and bills. I sorted through the stack.

“No annual fee for 12 months” – Correct. I am tearing it up.

“A Special Invitation from Miracle Ear” – I don’t like what I can hear. No thanks.

“A Charming Way to Show off Your Cleveland Browns Pride” – After last Sunday??? How about therapy?

“A Special 14 Hour Sale Just For You” – I can’t be there. You can go ahead and cancel it.

And then the heart stopper.

WARRANT ISSUED

Please be advised that Judge (I don’t want to make him mad), City of Waco Muncipal Court Judge, has issued a warrant for your arrest.

This got my attention.

This may be your last opportunity to pay.

This is Texas…that is a scary statement.

You also can be arrested at your work or home.

They would have a hard time finding me working but this is serious stuff!

My mind raced. I thought that this is going to hurt the very modest sales of my Christian books when I am cuffed and dragged off to the big house. The next thought was what the blazes had I done to be a wanted man? I called the City of Waco offices and gave them my case number (my first time to have a case number). I was thinking insanity would be my plea…witnesses would be no problem. The clerk informed me that my offense was actually a parking ticket picked up and ingnored by my first born while he attended Baylor.  I could simply admit my (his) guilt, give them a credit card number, and avoid having a humiliating mug shot on file. She turned to the records to enter my payment.

“Oh wait,” she said. “This was paid in full in 1999.”

“So if I had been pulled over in Waco this weekend I would have been cuffed and jailed for an offense that has been cleared?”

“Sorry Sir, I will fix that.”

For some reason I didn’t have a lot of confidence in the record keeping on the Brazos. I asked her to send me a copy of the debt payment just in case I somehow, inexplicably, for the first time in my life,  was caught speeding through Waco. On Thursday before Homecoming I received a notarized release of my guilt. I carried it in my pocket all weekend.

Later I thought how scary that notice was and I was innocent! I can’t imagine the fear I would have experienced had I been guilty and received that warrant.

It made me think of another life experience where I fought the law. As I examined God’s Word I realized that I could not keep the law and live a sinless life that would allow me to be declared innocent in front of a Holy God. For a while I fought the law, and the law won (is there a song in there somewhere?). But I realized I could never reconcile with a Holy God on my own merit. James says if you break one part of the law you have violated all of it.

For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it. James 2:10 NIV

I had broken large chunks of the law. But when I read further I found out something very interesting. My debt had been paid in full over 2,000 years ago. I would not get a notarized copy but I would get the reassuring presence of the Holy Spirit. If I was terrified to face the City of Waco what would it be like to face a Holy and Righteous God with a warrant issued for my sin?

I will never know. My debt has been paid by Jesus. I fought the law and the Lord won. If your warrant is still active may I encourage you to get it cancelled? My email address is on this website if I can answer any questions.

Halloween is one of my least favorite times of the year. Don’t worry.  I am not going to launch into a tirade about how Christians need to protest this pagan holiday. I hate Halloween because it is one of the times each year when I want to take my evangelical name tag off and hide it for a few days. One of the reasons I want to go incognito is the proliferation of Christian Halloween Hell Houses. Yes, in another sad attempt to mirror the popular culture we have taken the bad idea of the haunted house and made it into the infinitely worse idea of the Hell House.

What is the Hell House concept? It is series of vignettes that show the results of sin in wretched excess.The idea is literally to frighten you so much that you will be saved. I call it  Fear Christianity. I had to admit I enjoyed the play on former NBA star Daryl Dawkin’s slam dunk taunt rewritten to promote the Hell House.

Shake your city with the most “in-your-face, high-flyin’, no denyin’, death-defyin’, Satan-be-cryin’, keep-ya-from-fryin’, theatrical stylin’, no holds barred, cutting-edge” evangelism tool of the new millennium!

I think the “Satan-be-cryin’, keep-ya-from-fryin’” riffs are particularly catchy. Does anything promote the grace of our Lord Jesus any better than a good “keep-ya-from-fryin’” taunt? Promotional information proclaims that groups of twenty people will tour Hell House with their own personal demon acting as a tour guide. Timeout. Your own personal demon? A lot of us have been trying to get rid of a personal demon for years…not hire him as a tour guide. But let’s continue to the description of Hell.

“In Hell the tour meets Satan himself. Hell will be hot, smoky, loud, visually disturbing, and sensually confusing.”

To me that sounds like Las Vegas. But again, I digress. For the low price of $7 (unless you tip your personal demon) you will see the following:

• A funeral scene of a homosexual teenaged boy who has died of AIDS
• A riveting (?) reenactment of an abortion
• A satanic ritual involving human sacrifice
• A drunk driving accident in which a father realizes he has just killed his own family

The list of disturbing scenes goes on and on.

So if you are interested in scaring the hell out of your community you will want to order the Hell House Kit for only $299. You will receive a production manual, dvd, and special effects CD. But to do it right you want to add some additional resources (apparently you can’t replicate hell for 300 bucks). I recommend the Hell Screams Background CD ($20) which is described as seventy-three minutes of screaming, groaning and agonizing of what sounds like people in torment in Hell. (perhaps they recorded fans of my Cleveland Browns watching a game this season) Your Hell House hell-dwellers will love you for helping them vocally.

I believe no one deserves a helping hand more than your hell dwellers. I do not doubt the sincerity of those involved in the Hell House concept. The website uses Paul’s admontion to the Corinthians as a Biblical basis for the program (sorry…I have a hard time calling it a ministry).

“I have become all things to all men, so that by all possible means I might save some. I do all this for the sake of the Gospel…”

I believe this is a bit of an exegetical stretch. Paul’s comments in context seem to send a very different message.

When I am with the Jews, I become one of them so that I can bring them to Christ. When I am with those who follow the Jewish laws, I do the same, even though I am not subject to the law, so that I can bring them to Christ. ²¹When I am with the Gentiles who do not have the Jewish law,^[f] I fit in with them as much as I can. In this way, I gain their confidence and bring them to Christ. But I do not discard the law of God; I obey the law of Christ. When I am with those who are oppressed, I share their oppression so that I might bring them to Christ. Yes, I try to find common ground with everyone so that I might bring them to Christ. I do all this to spread the Good News, and in doing so I enjoy its blessings. 1st Cor 9  NLT

Isn’t Paul saying that he makes an attempt to empathise with those who don’t know Christ? That he tries to understand their needs and then develops a strategy about how the Good News of  Jesus can be communicated? I can’t see how this verse can be used as a basis for the disturbing Hell House program. I was raised in a church where Fear Christianity was the primary evangelistic tactic. Over and over I heard the story of the man who resisted the call to come forward and then was flattened by a steamroller on his way home. And of course that poor pancaked sinner went to hell because of  his stubbornness and incredible misfortune to encounter a steamroller on a Sunday. I am grateful that I came to faith not out of fear of a vengeful God. I became a Christian out of the realization of my need to be reconciled to a loving God. A God who showed amazing grace to save a wretch like me. For me I doubt that a faith based on fear would have been lasting. Scripture does teach about hell. We should not avoid that. But God’s Word also talks about heaven. And it talks about a personal relationship with Him and about faith that changes men and women. Evangelical means good news. We could use a little good news today. And I think Paul is saying we should communicate that with grace.

It is Homecoming this weekend at Baylor University in Waco, Texas. Thousands of alumni will make their way to Central Texas for the event. Thanks to the great work of Coach Guy Morriss some will even go to the football game with anticipation. It seems odd to me that I am looking forward so much to this homecoming. The celebration is at a college that I did not attend. I’m not even Baptist, dadgummit! (that is Baptist cursing!). But my heart has become a part of the Baylor tradition. Why? I am the very proud father of two Baylor grads and the youngest is a sophomore at the school. I have invested time and more treasure than I care to think about in Baylor University.

It is a very special place for me. Each son has made relationships that have become my relationships. One found a wife there. All three have grown in wisdom and stature while attending the school. They have developed wonderful friendships and many of those friends have made our house their house on multiple occasions.

Why is this homecoming special for me despite my lack of a Baylor degree?

It is about relationships.

And memories. 

As I prepared to head for Waco I took time to read the newspaper. I think I need to stop that ritual. Perhaps the ignorance is bliss crowd is onto something because my excitement about the weekend was muted by an avalanche of very bad and even frightening news.  

I look forward to Homecoming this weekend in Waco but as I get older I look forward to another Homecoming. The events in the news reminded me again that I am merely a renter on this planet. I don’t really own a single thing that matters. When I  am driving a rental car and hit a pothole my first reaction is always, “Oh well, it’s just a rent car.” That describes the attitude I am developing as I hit the potholes of life. I have lots of stuff here but that is all it is. Stuff. What really matters is my faith, my family, and those relationships that make the drive on the dangerous and poorly maintained roads of life worthwhile.

Jesus talked about homecoming…not Baylor…He talked about the big one. I am scheduled to attend that Homecoming someday and I am happy about that. Why? Looks like a good program is being planned.

  “Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. In my Father’s house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going.”  John 14

You can’t find a room in Waco this week but I already have one for this Homecoming! How cool is that? I am not anxious to leave this earth but I do look forward to that Homecoming someday. Why?

It is about relationships.

And memories.

I have a daughter there. My saintly grandmother is there. My wonderful earthly father is there. The list goes on and on. And I have a personal relationship with Jesus that makes me confident about the event.

I have a few investments here but I have unspeakable wealth and eternal investments there. We don’t think much about that in our culture do we? There is so much of the good life here that heaven seems obscure and maybe not even an upgrade. But we are not permanent residents here. Enjoy the journey. Invest in relationships. Realize we were created with a desire to know our Creator.

And get ready for Homecoming.  It should be a blast!