Category: Uncategorized

  • “Confessions of a Bad Christian” – The Devil Didn’t Go Down to Georgia After All

    Earl Wilson once said that “one way to get high blood pressure is to go mountain climbing over molehills”. If the following story were Jeopardy categories it would go something like this…

    “Let’s go with ridiculous church and state objections for $50, Alex.” 

    And then you would follow up with this category.

    “I’ll take spectacular over reactions for $100, Alex.”

    Ding – ding – ding. It’s the DAILY DOUBLE!

    In preparation for a guest appearance at the Peach Bowl in Atlanta this year, a marching band at C.D. Hylton High School in Prince William County decided to prepare a Georgia themed show.  One of the fun songs they chose was ‘The Devil Went Down to Georgia,’ by the Charlie Daniels Band. Alert readers are probably already rolling their eyes in anticipation of where this is going.

    You got it. A local newspaper published a letter by a Woodbridge resident who wondered how a song about the devil could be played at school events because of the separation of church and state. You probably know the song. Satan challenges a young man named Johnny to a high stakes duel. If he loses the devil gets his soul and if Johnny wins he gets a fiddle made of gold. Robert McLean argued that the song’s depiction might constitute an endorsement of Christianity. May we review the lyrics?

    The devil opened up his case and he said, ‘I’ll start this show.’ And fire flew from his fingertips as he rosined up his bow. And he pulled the bow across the strings and it made an evil hiss. Then a band of demons joined in and it sounded somethin’ like this:

    When the devil finished, Johnny said, ‘Well, you’re pretty good, old son, but sit down in that chair right there and let me show you how it’s done.’

    Fire on the mountain. Run, boys, run. The devil’s in the House of the Rising Sun. Chicken in the bread pan pickin’ out dough. Granny, does your dog bite? No, child, no.

    The devil bowed his head because he knew that he’d been beat. And he laid that golden fiddle on the ground at Johnny’s feet. Johnny said, ‘Devil, just come on back if you ever want to try again. ‘Cause I told you once, you son of a gun, I’m the best that’s ever been.’

    Now I see the clear connection to Christianity. Boy am I embarrassed!  All of these years we could have been playing ‘The Devil Went Down to Georgia’ instead of ‘Just as I Am’ at the end of sermons. Picture the choir singing in beautiful harmony…

    Chicken in the bread pan pickin’ out dough. Granny, does your dog bite? No, child, no.

    Dozens of sinners stream to the altar because they are moved by the theological implications of the lyric. Perhaps the metaphor of the chicken in the bread pan relates to how man does not live by bread alone. But more likely it is a meaningless lyric about a chicken in the bread pan.

    Fearing bad public reaction the school’s band director, Dennis Brown, pulled the song from the playlist because of this one letter to the local paper.

    ‘I was just being protective of my students. I didn’t want any negative publicity for C.D. Hylton High School,’ Brown said. The band has been practicing the song for months and one student even purchased an electric violin for the routine. According to Brown the band played the song during the pre-game show of the state football championship in 2003 and no one complained. Perhaps only people with normal thought processes were in attendance at that game but that is just one man’s theory.

    And the piece de resistance? The children of the man who started the furor are home schooled. In his words his letter was meant to start a “philosophical debate”, not to wreck any student’s marching band experience. He further defends his position by added that he loves the song. ‘It was one of the first 45s I had as a kid,’ he said.” I’m surprised he is not a missionary after hearing that clear endorsement of Christianity over and over and over.


    My kingdom for some common sense. But I am afraid this will only get worse. I guess the question is how do we respond to such ridiculous logic? Certainly we should stand up for our rights as citizens of this country. But we must be prepared to communicate the hope we have with clarity, grace, and caring. I am so tired of strident Christians who don’t have well thought out or graceful reasoning. Paul faced a very hostile culture in Athens. The city was full of idols and that distressed him. But notice his response was not to lash out at them for their pagan worship of idols.


    And every day he went out on the streets and talked with anyone who happened along. He got to know some of the Epicurean and Stoic intellectuals pretty well through these conversations. Some of them dismissed him with sarcasm: “What an airhead!” But others, listening to him go on about Jesus and the resurrection, were intrigued: “That’s a new slant on the gods. Tell us more.”     These people got together and asked him to make a public presentation over at the Areopagus, where things were a little quieter. They said, “This is a new one on us. We’ve never heard anything quite like it. Where did you come up with this anyway? Explain it so we can understand.” Downtown Athens was a great place for gossip. There were always people hanging around, natives and tourists alike, waiting for the latest tidbit on most anything.


    So Paul took his stand in the open space at the Areopagus and laid it out for them. “It is plain to see that you Athenians take your religion seriously. When I arrived here the other day, I was fascinated with all the shrines I came across. And then I found one inscribed, TO THE GOD NOBODY KNOWS. I’m here to introduce you to this God so you can worship intelligently, know who you’re dealing with. Acts 17 The Message

    And the results of Paul’s level headed and patient approach?

    Some laughed at him and walked off making jokes; others said, “Let’s do this again. We want to hear more.” But that was it for the day, and Paul left. There were still others, it turned out, who were convinced then and there, and stuck with Paul.

    There it is folks. Some will laugh at me and walk away making jokes. Some will want to hear more. Some will accept the message of the gospel. Pray for the grace to communicate the hope of Jesus patiently.

    And while you are at it…could you pray for an outpouring of common sense on this land?

  • “Confessions of a Bad Christian” – Hi, My Name is Dave and I am Stupid

    If you have been breathlessly following this daily blog you know that we have been addressing Pat Robertson and the whole Intelligent Design debate. The controversy has inflamed the bloggers (that sounds painful) to a category 4 or maybe 5 fury. A cursory run through some websites reveals two primary points. First, this is a master plan of Christianity to get thinly veiled “Creationism” into the public schools and turn the brains of unsuspecting children into mush. I am disappointed that I was not invited to this meeting. The second point is that Christians are stupid. If you type the phrase “stupid Christians” into Google you get 9,930 returns. That is a boatload of stupid Christians.


    I have developed a desire to communicate and help restore people who have been wounded by the church and  by those in the church. So I will often visit websites of those who have issues with Christians. Here are some titles from blogs and websites (my comments in italics).



    • Stupid Christians index – Didn’t make the list…note to self…try harder
    • All Christians are idiots – Maybe today Diogenes the Cynic would be carrying his lantern looking for one smart Christian instead of an honest man.
    • Amazingly Stupid Christians – Premiering next week on Fox!
    • I am sick and tired of stupid Christians – Me too.
    • Stupid Christians are ruining the world – Don’t look now but they are getting lots of help.
    • 101 Reasons to Hate Those Stupid Christians – My favorite. This guy is calling Christians stupid and he has 12 reasons on his site.

    I do have one observation from visiting these websites. Get spell check! I began to think the cows from the Chick-fil-a billboards were typing these blogs and posts. Not a lot of communication is going on at most of these sites. Here is a typical “debate”.


                               “You are a stupid Christian!”


     “Well I may be stupid but at least I am not going to hell.”


    That is some helpful interchange going on there!


    But not much has really changed. The great preacher Charles M. Spurgeon wrote in the 19th century that “if you follow Christ, all the hounds of the world will yelp at your heels. Count on this, if you live for Jesus Christ, the world will not speak well of you.”


    I wish that was not true. I wish I could discuss my faith with civility and grace with everyone. I wish that everyone would view my attempts and desire to communicate my faith as genuine and caring. I wish that those of opposite beliefs would view me like the hitter that got a tip about what pitch was coming in the movie Bull Durham.


              “He’s pitching a two-hit shutout and he’s shaking me off! Do you believe that? Charlie, here comes the deuce — and when you speak  of me, speak well.”  Crash Davis, “Bull Durham”


    I wish that when you speak of me you would speak well. But if you don’t it won’t change my hope of communicating the message of Christ to you. This other kind of communication has, unfortunately, been going on for a while.


    So don’t be surprised, friends, when the world hates you. This has been going on a long time. The way we know we’ve been transferred from death to life is that we love our brothers and sisters. I John 3 The Message


    I hope you don’t hate me. I hope you don’t think I’m stupid. I certainly don’t think you are stupid (at least until I get to know you). I do think some of you have a little anger issue but that is another topic. Perhaps if I can implement the words of James I can convince a few.


    Real wisdom, God’s wisdom, begins with a holy life and is characterized by getting along with others. It is gentle and reasonable, overflowing with mercy and blessings, not hot one day and cold the next, not two-faced. You can develop a healthy, robust community that lives right with God and enjoy its results only if you do the hard work of getting along with each other, treating each other with dignity and honor.  James 3 – The Message


    Call me stupid but that seems like a good goal.


     


     

  • “Confessions of a Bad Christian” – The Evolution of this Argument is not so Intelligent

    Yesterday I gently asked Pat Robertson to resign from the prophet gig. His poorly thought out musings on how disaster might strike Dover, Pennsylvania was regrettable. Now Pat has become the rallying point for those who are looking to make Intelligent Design a right wing Christian Trojan horse to sneak “religion” into the schools.  


    I have read the works of authors on both sides of the argument. Let me just say that these people have really big brains. William Dembski is a leading proponent of the Intelligent Design movement. He notes that “Intelligence leaves behind a characteristic signature”. May I suggest that the level of discourse recently has left a characteristic signature and it is not intelligence.


    How about this lovely little shot from a writer I often enjoy and generally respect. Leonard Pitts of the Miami Herald wrote, “At the same time voters in Dover were standing up for common sense the Kansas Board of Education was voting to adopt standards undermining the teaching of Darwin’s theory. This is the latest step in the state’s long, hard-fought campaign to turn out stupid kids.”


    Just for fun I commenced to Googlin’ to see how Kansas is faring in it’s quest for stupidity. I found an interesting website that ranked the smartest states. Here is the website description.


    This fourth Smartest State designation is awarded based on 21 factors chosen from Morgan Quitno’s annual reference book, Education State Rankings, 2005-2006.  Featuring four new factors, this year’s award de-emphasizes spending for public schools and instead measures states based on student achievement, positive outcomes and personal attention from teachers.


    Based on the information from this book the backward folks from Kansas were the 13th ranked state in the union for overall test scores, achievement, and accomplishment. This is not theory. These are observable, quantifiable scores and are not based on a thinly veiled agenda to insert one’s personal beliefs into a local educational system. Oops. Sorry. I forgot which debate we were having.


    So the obvious question to me was how much better is the enlightened views of Florida than the unrelenting backward thinking Kansans? The Sunshine State staggered in at number 37.


    I respect you Mr.Pitts. But this was an ugly stereotype of a state and people that are trying to educate their children based on the values of their community. Stereotypes are never helpful. By your standards I have campaigned to turn out stupid kids in my home. So far we have two undergraduate degrees from Baylor University. A masters from Vanderbilt. On the horizon is a masters program for middle son and a doctorate for eldest. Sorry I couldn’t contribute to society.


    Solomon spent a great deal of time writing about wisdom. His conclusion was simple.


    For the LORD gives wisdom,
           and from his mouth come knowledge and understanding.  Prov 2 NIV


    May I suggest that there is a big difference between wisdom and knowledge.

  • “Confessions of a Bad Christian” – Unsolicited Advice for Pat Robertson

    I am pretty sure that the host of the now controversial 700 Club would view my advice like a telemarketer calling during dinner. But I hope that Pat Robertson takes a phone call from someone who can remind him of his responsibility to the body of Christ. I know that my faith is offensive to some. When I go to some websites it seems that evangelical Christians are more than offensive. I find out that such Christians are dangerous and stupid. I object to that characterization strongly. I don’t think I’m dangerous.


    One website has a series of “enemy” links with the Republican National Committee described as the “the home of all that is evil”. Pat Robertson’s 700 Club is listed there as well. Pat Robertson has stirred up the media and the bloggers again with his declaration about Dover, Pennsylvania. The television host commented on an election that dumped the entire school board. The citizens of Dover ousted the board members who had favored adding an Intelligent Design statement to the science curriculum.


    “I’d like to say to the good citizens of Dover: If there is a disaster in your area, don’t turn to God; you just rejected him from your city. And don’t wonder why he hasn’t helped you when problems begin, if they begin. I’m not saying they will, but if they do, just remember, you just voted God out of your city. And if that’s the case, don’t ask for his help because he might not be there.”


    But God was willing to show compassion even on a city as overwhelmingly wicked as Sodom.


    “For the sake of only ten, I won’t destroy the city.”  Gen 18  The Message


    I haven’t heard Dover, Pennsylvania mentioned in the same vein as Sodom and Gomorrah. How about the prophet Jonah? He wanted judgement on Ninevah and ran away instead of taking the message of repentance and redemption to a city he wanted judged. Jonah was ticked off that his personal revenge might be thwarted. Not much has changed has it?


    I knew you were sheer grace and mercy, not easily angered, rich in love, and ready at the drop of a hat to turn your plans of punishment into a program of forgiveness!  Jonah 4 The Message 


    So here is my unsought advice to Mr. Robertson. Get out of the prophet business. In the Old Testament the prophets had a high standard.


         “But any prophet who fakes it, who claims to speak in my name something I haven’t commanded him to say, or speaks in the name of other gods, that prophet must die.”  Deut 18


    Now that is a strong deterrent to shooting from the hip. You could not follow up a false prophecy from the Lord with a big smile and a proclamation of “just kidding”! The writer continues in Deuteronomy.


        You may be wondering among yourselves, “How can we tell the difference, whether it was GOD who spoke or not?” Here’s how: If what the prophet spoke in GOD’s name doesn’t happen, then obviously GOD wasn’t behind it; the prophet made it up. Forget about him.


    Here is my problem Pat. You have become the face of my faith.  I don’t think you meant to. I certainly hope you did not mean to have that happen. When I try to use my meager skills to point people to Jesus your name comes up. What about that Pat Robertson guy? Do you believe the things that he says? Do you think God is punishing gays and sinners and Orlando and Dover, Pennsylvania?


    Pat, I don’t have a big agenda. I want to introduce people to Jesus. I don’t much care if Intelligent Design is on the cirriculum in Dover because that won’t help a person in my hometown find the real purpose of their lives. Deciding whether Orlando will be besieged because of Gay Days at Disney doesn’t help me model the saving grace of the Lord Jesus to a person who is desperate for hope.


    Unfortunately you and other high profile “spokesmen” have become the face of Christianity. I want the face of Christianity to be Jesus. I live in the secular world that you decry. I am trying to make a difference. If I may be honest as a brother in faith…you aren’t helping. The cynical response that I get is something along these lines.


    “So you’re a Christian, huh? You one of those abortion clinic protesting, gay hating, sexually repressing, judgmental, censoring bigots?”


    NO, I AM NOT!


    I am a seeker of truth. I have come to the considered decision that Jesus Christ is the best path to truth.  Certainly we have to be good citizens and vote according to our beliefs. But what we really need is the courage to live a life different and attractive enough to be light in an increasingly dark world.


    I don’t dislike you Pat. I just would advise you to humble yourself before the Lord.


    Because your heart was responsive and you humbled yourself before God when you heard what he spoke against this place and its people, and because you humbled yourself before me and tore your robes and wept in my presence, I have heard you, declares the LORD.  2 Chron NIV


    Come to think of it Pat I believe I will be at that altar humbling myself. Hope to see you there.


     

  • “Confessions of a Bad Christian” – Looks Like Your Hope is a Quart Low

    This little planet can be depressing at times. I picked up a magazine this week and came across three quotes that made me realize how desperate we are for a little hope.


    The first quote was an odd mix of funny and sad. Country singer Kenny Chesney had a very short lived and well publicized marriage to actress Renee Zellweger. His description of the pain he was feeling was like a parody of a bad country song. You know what I am talking about. Songs like My Girl Ran Off With My Best Friend and I Sure Do Miss Him. Chesney compared the pain of losing that relationship to “having someone come in and take the big-screen TV off the wall during the big game, and there’s nothing you can do about it.”


    Uhhhhh. Okay.


    Perhaps we have found a key to the breakdown of this marriage. I don’t want to make light of a broken covenant but what a shallow analogy to describe the break. I would suggest that the unravelling of a marriage should be far more painful than losing electronics…even during the big game.


    The next quote came from writer Albert Camus. “It is a kind of spiritual snobbery that makes people think they can be happy without money.” To slightly modify an old Paul McCartney and Wings lyric…”I’m so sorry, Uncle Albert…but you haven’t learned a bloody thing at all.”


    I have been on both sides of the money thing. And I can tell you without reservation and snobbery free that money is unrelated to happiness. Happiness is seeing my wife at the end of a long day. Enjoying dinner with my wonderful sons (and daughter in laws). Laughing with friends. Being greeted by a Labrador retriever that thinks I am the greatest human being.


    Ever.


    Happiness is watching a baby toddle. A child smile. An elderly couple look at one another with that look that only decades can develop. Happiness is seeing the sun rise and hearing the birds welcome that sight. Happiness is connecting with the one who made me. That is what I was created for and my happiness is found in the simplest things of life. There is joy all around us. I choose to look for those things. Yet life happens and joy is a bit harder to choose.


    In his letter to the church at Corinth Paul made the amazing statement that “I am overwhelmed with joy despite all our troubles.” 2 Cor 7:4 (MSG)


    Where does that attitude come from? I can guarantee it doesn’t come from money. Money cannot buy happiness. Because we can “rent” what appears to be happiness for a season our culture confuses money with real happiness.


    The third quote comes from author Thomas Wolfe who has reached the same conclusion as King Solomon in Ecclesiastes. Wolfe wrote that “Man was born to live, to suffer, and to die, and what befalls him is a tragic lot. There is no denying this in the final end. But we must deny it along the way.”


    Mr. Wolfe is a brilliant writer and man. But he stopped a bit short of truth in my opinion. Man is born to live. A fallen world will produce suffering for all of us along the way. Dying is a pretty safe assumption. And tragedy does befall many if not most of us. I don’t deny a thing that Wolfe said except that we must deny those things. I choose to embrace life. I accept suffering because I am in relationship with a God who understands suffering and offers comfort that is inexplicable. I have looked tragedy in the face and found peace. Jesus had a thought or two on joy and it’s source.


    “I’ve told you these things for a purpose: that my joy might be your joy, and your joy wholly mature.  This is my command: Love one another the way I loved you.   This is the very best way to love. John 15 (MSG)


    I am no where close to saying that my joy is wholly mature. But I have hope as I write this. Hope that transcends big screens, money, and the difficulties of life. I have hope because I have found the source of joy. Paul wrote a joyful letter to the church at Philippi.


    Don’t fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns.   Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life  Phil 4 (MSG)


    It really is wonderful. If your hope is a quart low there is no shortage. But you have to want to be refilled.


     

  • “Confessions of a Bad Christian” – Bad Words…Part 1

    This may be a disappointment to you if you came here expecting George Carlin’s seven words you can’t say on television. But increasingly we have become a society that uses polarizing words instead of words that allow and engage conversation. So class…if you will take out your pencils and pads…today’s word is proselytise.

    I was surprised to see that proselytise is used as a synonym for brainwashing at an online thesaurus site. The actual definition listed by dictionary.com is:

       1.  To induce someone to convert to one’s own religious faith.
       2.  To convert (a person) from one belief, doctrine, cause, or faith to another.

    I had never paid a lot of attention to the use of the word.  I knew it was generally a perjorative when used to refer to Christians. But as I read the definitions it became clear to me that I need to gently challenge this word. As an evangelical Christian (perhaps  evangelical will be a future “bad word” topic) I do not feel it is my mission to “convert” someone to my religious faith. I cannot “convert” anyone to Christian faith. That is God’s job. In baseball parlance I am merely a set-up man at best…the Holy Spirit of God is the closer. I do have a job. Actually it is a command that Jesus gave in Matthew.

    Jesus said, “”Love the Lord your God with all your passion and prayer and intelligence.’ This is the most important, the first on any list. But there is a second to set alongside it: “Love others as well as you love yourself.’  Matthew 22   The Message


    Frankly we have too often lost track of these simple yet powerful commands. When we love others sacrificially our message becomes inviting…not proselytizing. If you have ever been around a Christian who is truly living these words then you know how attractive that lifestyle can be. Saint Francis of Assisi wonderfully observed that we should “preach the gospel at all times…if necessary, use words.”  Do you see the power of letting the gospel message flow out of our actions?


    But to anyone reading this who is of a different faith or no faith at all I must confess my dilemna to you. If I truly believe this to be the truth and if my faith in Christ has genuinely changed my life then how can I not tell you? Why should you be offended if I care enough to reach out gently and in love.


    I remember being intimately involved with some friends over a period of years in our kid’s sports activities. They were from a demonination that believed only they were going to heaven. They knew we did not belong to that denomination. Yet they never once said a word that they believed we were off track and even doomed. Would I have changed my views? No. But it would have showed that they cared enough to let me know what they held dear and their concern for me. I was actually a little hurt that they didn’t seem to care that I would not join them in heaven.


    Michael Kinsley wrote a similar sentiment in Time magazine (February 19, 2001) about the anger that some folks feel toward Christians who seem compelled to share their faith. 


     “You may not agree that your soul needs saving, but why is he wrong to try as long as he isn’t prying away your soul against your will? As an ethnically Jewish nonbeliever, I find this fuss over conversion utterly baffling…But an insult? In a way, it is insulting to Jews that Fundamentalist Christians don’t try harder to convert us. Oh sure, they’re friendly enough now. But wait until Judgment Day. Then it will be, `Sorry, we seem to have lost your reservation.’ And from this perspective, the Jewish policy of actively discouraging converts to Judaism starts to seem like `theological arrogance’ indeed. At the same time, when you object to noncoercive conversion, it starts to look like the opposite of arrogance: theological insecurity. What are you afraid of? The decision will be made by you or by God, and in either case, there is no ground for complaint.”

    I suspect that technique is too often the rub. I was a victim of over the top zealous religious people as a teenager. I am still a little amazed that I eventually came to faith.

    If I care about  you I will naturally want to share the most important thing in my life. But I think you have some rights as the hearer of my message. I wrote the following in When Bad Christians Happen to Good Christians.

    The Unbelievers Bill of Rights…

    • I have the right to never have faith forced on me.
    • I have the right to never be treated in a condescending manner.
    • I have the right to always hear the truth.
    • I have the right for you to patiently hear my concerns and doubts.
    • I have the right to seek answers to those questions and doubts that you can’t answer.
    • I have the right to be steered to resources for my own study and investigation.
    • I have the right to be loved no matter how I respond to the gospel message.

    I hope that I honor you by following the list above. I hope you will understand that my wanting to let you know about the most important thing in my life honors you as well.

  • “Confessions of a Bad Christian” – Panic at 36,000 Feet!

    First I must apologize to the three or four readers who eagerly show up each weekday to read these ramblings. I was stuck on the road with a defective power pack and no other computer access. So I have to admit that I “blogged” down for a couple of days. Sorry. I am now powered up and ready to ramble.

    Last night I was returning from a corporate meeting being held at a casino in Uncasville, Connecticut. Your reaction was likely the same as mine. Unca – where? Turns out it is about an hour from Hartford. But that is a future blog.

    My panic happened during a routine and boring flight from Hartford to home in Dallas. I was bored with the movie and tired of reading. As I absently mindedly fiddled with my wedding band it somehow flipped up and disappeared around my seat. I immediately thought of my bride and how I would explain this one. I can always play the idiot card and that is hard to trump with me. But I knew this carried a little emotional impact beyond losing some jewelry.

    I pictured that little band of gold laying somewhere on the peanut littered floor. What were the ramifications of losing it? It can be replaced I reasoned. She will understand. It is just a ring. My logic was solid and then I realized that I didn’t buy it either.

    I had upgraded to first class and my seat was in the back row of the cabin so finding the ring would not be so easy. Because the passenger next to me was watching the movie I decided to wait until the movie was over to disturb him to look for the ring.  That gave me time to panic and to think.

    The ring was not expensive. It was not even my first wedding band (my first one came with a gumball so I had upgraded once). But that missing ring had meaning beyond it’s pawn shop value. I had mentioned this ring in my book When Bad Christians Happen to Good People. The ring had become my symbol for what it is important in my life. There are four very small diamonds that represent the four children that have blessed our lives. Three wonderful sons are a constant source of pride and love. The fourth diamond represents our daughter Katie who died after fourteen unexpected months with us. Unexpected because Katie was only supposed to live hours or maybe days. The entertwined gold strands symbolized how my bride and I had somehow merged two very different lives into one indivisible marriage. When things get tough I have trained myself to look at that ring and it reminds me about what matters.

    I thought of the nearly thirty year journey that Joni and I have traveled. I am fortunate in one thing. I married my trophy wife first and saved the hassle. But when our wedding pictures are dragged out I have to laugh. There I am with bad 70’s hair and my baby blue Dumb and Dumber tuxedo. And there is Joni looking gorgeous with her beautiful blue eyes and infectious smile. The reaction is the same for nearly every person who views those photos. A thought bubble rises over their heads with the question…”What was she thinking?”.  I have no idea. I am sure she has asked the same thing. But she has hung in with me and trusted God. She has never tried to change who I am but she has always challenged me to develop my unique design in partnership with the God who loves me. She has prayed for me and our boys more than I can even comprehend. When our marriage monitor flat lined a few years ago she did not give up. That ring symbolized the trials and the triumphs. I breathed a prayer that I would find the ring.

    The flight attendant loaned me a flashlight and I crawled as best I could under the seats looking for my ring. With my derriere sticking unceremoniously into the aisle I looked in every nook and cranny. Nothing. Finally I flashed the light back into the seat bracket corner and there it was. I was relieved to find the ring and, frankly, to get my posterior out of the aisle. Slipping the ring back on I realized the value of symbols. Losing that ring would not have changed my love for my wife or our relationship. But that symbol is a reminder of love and the mystery of two lives becoming one.

          And this is why a man leaves father and mother and cherishes his wife. No longer two, they become “one flesh.” This is a huge mystery, and I don’t pretend to understand it all. What is clearest to me is the way Christ treats the church. And this provides a good picture of how each husband is to treat his wife….   The Message Ephesians 5

    It is a mystery. I am grateful for the journey. I am grateful for the potholes and the detours and the times of smooth traveling. I am grateful I chose not to exit or turn around when the journey got tough.

    There is another symbol that I cherish. It is called the cross. And I would suggest that what happened there is the reason that Joni and I are still together in this mysterious and wonderful journey.